Road Prince

 

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

الْمُؤْمِنُ آلِفٌ مَأْلُوفٌ وَلا خَيْرَ فِيمَنْ لا يَأْلَفُ وَلا يُؤْلَفُ ، خَيْرُ النَّاسِ أَنْفَعُهُمْ لِلنَّاسِ

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said,

 

"The Mo’min is the one who loves and is loved.

And there is no goodness for the one who does not give love and receive love.

The best amongst people is the one who gives others benefit.

 

Recently life made me ponder the state of sadness and its relation with the ego. All of us experience sadness, then some of us become parked in that state, sometimes not even knowing it. Superficially we appear angry or numb, but over time it just turns into a deep selfishness that permeates the entire being, inward and outward. The curse of that selfishness manifests as a deprivation of ehsaas, sensitivity towards the state of another.

 

Then by the Mercy of God, enters affection or love or just compassion. For everyone. But can anyone really reduce another’s sadness, lessen selfishness? I used to think no, that the state has to exited by each one of us but I had forgotten.

 

Nothing happens without a waseela, a source. It is sent. Ability is granted. Answering the call of love is a shortcut for sure. But sometimes even love emanates from the ego instead of the heart. It is transient, it dissipates, it needs reciprocity to survive. And the proof is in the pudding!

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says in the Tafseer e Jilani: The heart in which lies the seed of love, the fruit of that love is a witnessing; mushahida.

 

Everything difficult, traumatic that we go through, leaves a scar upon our heart even when we bury it, ignore it. The upside of the experience though is undeniable, the gift of resilience granted to us. We can survive pretty much anything. But ultimately the pain has to be shed otherwise we retreat, becoming invisible as it veils the heart, hardening it, making it seemingly impossible to pierce.

 

But then not all of us are like that.

 

A couple of weeks ago I saw a homeless man in a park, Bagh e Jinnah. My favourite hang now since I worked there to make the tables and definitely this fall when the weather will turn gorgeous and I will play there every single day. The cherry though was not the beauty of the green, the ancient trees, the variety of flora or the immaculate workmanship of hundreds of gardeners. It was the shrine of Hazrat Pir Sakhi Turat Murad Shah (ra). I couldn’t stop going there almost every single day after the first time.

 

One afternoon after my game I walked over to him.

 

“Salam,” I said sitting down on the steel bench opposite where he was lying down. “I see you sitting here all the time. I wondered if you need anything.”

 

He looked up at me and the first thing I noticed was the sweetness of his face. His tan was an olive complexion. His hair was short, light. It always covered with a baseball cap.

 

“No,” he said gently, sitting up. “I’m fine.”

 

“So what about the box?” I asked casually. “How come you bring that with you every day?”

 

I knew I was being intrusive. But it wasn’t out of curiosity. I actually wanted to know if he needed anything.

 

“My things are in it,” he said like it was the most normal thing in the world to carry your belongings around everywhere.

 

As I left I turned around and asked, “What’s your name?”

 

He hesitated for a second, then said, “Shaan.”

 

I smiled.

 

“Like the actor.”

 

He smiled back.

 

On another day I asked him again if he needed anything. He said no but when I insisted, he pointed at his sandals. One of them was broken. I bought him a new pair and a few t-shirts and short-sleeved button down shirts. He didn’t ask for any of it.

 

“Here!” I said, sitting down placing the bags next to him. “I hope you like them.”

 

He took each bag carefully, then opened the plastic covers that wrapped each item so slowly, I couldn’t help but notice the delicacy of his nature. He was nafees.

 

“They’re beautiful,” he said happily. “You have good taste. I saw your shirts that you play in. They’re nice.”

 

I thanked my lucky stars I had chosen everything for him myself.

 

When he tried the shoes though they were still too big. “I’m so sorry. I did tell my driver that they looked big. He isn’t getting the size right.”

 

Shaan glanced over at my feet. I was wearing my Bata sandals.

 

“That looks about right,” he said. “Let me try them.”

 

My nafs jumped. I’m a huge germophobe, the fear of dirt, on my feet specifically. bordering on OCD. I never ever walk around barefoot, except sometimes on grass and sand.

 

“Ummm,” my head thought until thankfully my heart kicked it in the head.

 

“Stop being disgusting and let him try the shoe.”

 

“Oh yes, of course,” I jumped up placing my shoe near his foot. He slipped it on and beamed.

 

“It’s a perfect fit.”

 

“I’ll have him change the shoe,” I said smiling back.

 

It was my driver, Usman, who informed me that Shaan was a woman. One day I sent a cooler for him with water and ice so he could keep it next to him when he called me.

 

“She isn’t here. I asked the guards and they said they haven’t seen her today. Should I wait or come back?”

 

“Come back,” I said ignoring the gender revelation.

 

Later when I was in the car I said, “So he’s a girl.”

 

“Ji,” he replied in the affirmative.

 

“Well, since he’s referring to himself as a male, let’s just do that,” I said.

 

“Okay,” he replied.

 

That was the beauty of a 2o some year old for a driver.

 

Everything about an individual related to gender identity and sexuality was cool, accepted with warmth by his generation, regardless of socio-economic background. It was ingrained through social media no doubt, which I believe is poison, but then I guess everything has its upside. My decades old driver, Sadulah, would have been freaking out for sure and driven me mad.

 

Another day or so later, again on my way back from the shrine, I went over to see Shaan.

 

“Salam,” I said, asking how he was, then ventured, “I was wondering Shaan, where do you live?”

 

“In the park,” he answered as if he was giving me an address in the city.

 

“But the park closes at 9.”

 

“Not this park,” he said. “The one in Shadman.”

 

I knew which park he was talking about. It was a grassy spot surrounded by markets on all sides.

 

“And bathrooms?” My curiosity started kicking in.

 

“I used to go to the Mosque but they said I can’t come unless I wear Shalwar Kamiz. I don’t have one.”

 

“Oh,” I thought. I wondered if they had figured out that he was a woman. Women don’t go to Mosques in Pakistan for some reason.

 

“So I just wash myself where there is a tap with my clothes on.”

 

“I was thinking,” I said gently. “It’s not the safest thing, living in a park I mean. Why don’t you find a place to live and I can pay for it.”

 

“If you could get me a job…” Shaan said instead.

 

I shook my head.

 

“I’m leaving the country next week for a month or so. I don’t know many people but I will try for sure. In the meantime, how about you find a place in the next couple of days. Is that possible?”

 

“Well,” he said, “I can share with someone and...”

 

“No, no,” I cut him off. “No sharing.”

 

I knew drivers and laborers who came into the cities from the villages, shared rooms, sometimes four people to a space, if not more. How would a woman live with them? Sounded like a nightmare.

 

“How old are you Shaan?” I asked. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

 

I don’t know why my manners finally kicked in.

 

“47,” he replied.

 

“What?” my jaw dropped. “You look like you’re 22.”

 

Later when I told my friends the story they said I look young too.

 

“Yeah,” I said rolling my eyes, “But I’m not living in a park. If I was I would be looking 65.”

 

“That’s true,” they all conceded.

 

That evening a friend of mine, Hiba, called to tell me she had some money she wanted to give to an orphanage and could I send it over to them. I started telling her about Shaan. Did she want to give any money towards settling him into an apartment?

 

She turned around and told me she had a workshop in the city where there was a room that could be fixed up for Shaan and he could live there. Her carpenters worked in the space from 9 till 6 and the rest of the time, the house was empty. A family lived in the back to take care of it. Shaan was welcome to live there she said.

 

“Super!” I said. “Can I bring him over soon?”

 

“Sure,” she said, “let’s go together tomorrow.”

 

The next day I went to see Shaan and suggested the idea, wondering if he would he be open to it. I was terrified he might become paranoid and disappear.

 

“She might even have a job for you,” I offered never having spoken so softly to anyone in my life. That’s the beauty of people who exude tenderness. They make you gentle with them. Suhbat! The number one factor that shapes and changes a human being at any age; company!

 

“Ok,” he said. “When?”

 

“Tomorrow,” I beamed. “She will come with me so we can go together.”

 

At 11am the following morning, I went to the park to pick up Shaan. I saw him walking towards me, drenched in sweat.

 

“Can I change my clothes before we go?” he asked.

 

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” I said. “We’re late and you’re fine.”

 

“No,” he insisted. “It will only take a minute.”

 

He turned around and walked to back to the pergola where his stuff was. He pulled off one of his tshirts, he was wearing two, and put on one of the new shirts. Then he wrapped what seemed like a sheet around his waist and changed his trousers. He fixed his hair and walked towards me looking fresh.

 

I smiled at him and we got into the car. At the gate of the park we met my friend and we set off to her workshop. My friend started asking Shaan questions about himself. Of course it started with the question every employer-to-be has.

 

“Do you have an ID card?” she asked warily.

 

“No,” Shaan answered. “I used to have one. Then it expired and I haven’t renewed it yet. But I will do that.”

 

“My driver can help you in terms of taking you to an office.” I offered. “It should be pretty straightforward.”

 

“And do you have a CV?” my friend asked.

 

“I made one,” Shaan said turning around to look at us from the front seat. “I have worked in boutiques, factories, shops. I used to teach in a school at one time. I’ve done many jobs. I can even fix electrical things,” he said smilingly.

 

“Cool,” I piped in.

 

“I’m also an artist. I like to write stories and poetry. I like drawing. I like many things,” he said.

 

“Wow! You seem to have done it all,” Hiba remarked. “Well this job will most likely be admin. Mostly coordination between my different projects. Ensuring deliveries are happening on time, checking the merchandise etc.”

 

“Like a foreman,” Shaan suggested.

 

“Yes, exactly like a foreman.” Then she asked, “Can I ask where all you have you have lived?”

 

“Many places, many parks.” he said, looking out the window.

“I’m a road prince.”

 

“Road prince!” I echoed from the back. “I like that title. I sometimes write stories too. I think I might write a story about you and call it that,” I said, waiting for him to react.

 

I could see him in the rear view mirror. He was still smiling.

 

The house was in Johar Town. Almost all the rooms were being used by the carpenters but on the second floor we found a room that was empty. It had a bathroom with it. The room was spacious with a large window. It needed to be cleaned.

 

“Let’s go sit in my office,” Hiba suggested.

 

While sitting there I suggested that Shaan go and buy whatever he needed from the market for himself. Hiba handed him a blank piece of paper.

 

“Here, you can make a list,” I gave him a pen.

 

He took the paper and placed it sideways. Next to him was a piece of wood about the size of a ruler. He took it and using the pen, started drawing horizontal lines on the page. I smiled and wondered what his zodiac was. His approach to everything was so detailed.

 

I gave him some money to buy the items and anything else that occurred to him and to use the rest to purchase food since the kitchen was not yet functional. There was a small stove connected to a cylinder which the carpenters used to make tea.

 

After leaving him, on the way home I told Usman how I liked his title for himself. “It’s cool.”

 

He told me Road Prince was the name of a model of a motor cycle.

 

When I had called him later in the evening to make sure he was settling in alright, he said to me excitedly. “I have all the receipts and I wrote down everything I got for you to see. I also got a shirt and pants. That will be my uniform for work which I will wear every day.”

 

“Nice,” I smiled thinking, who does that.

 

The next day, the first for Shaan in his new space, I went to see him. He wasn’t interacting with the rest of the workers in the house. They were trying to be friendly but he stayed in his room mostly. The job was going to start in a week or ten days because Eid was around the corner and everything would be closed. Till then he had nothing to do.

 

We sat in the office and talked. I asked him how he spent the morning.

 

“I wrote in my diary,” he said. “I like to write in it every day. Would you like to see it?”

 

“Sure,” I replied enthusiastically. “I would love to see it.”

 

I couldn’t really understand what he had written. It was in English but the sentence construction wasn’t making sense to me. There were several entries with varying dates even though he had written them all that same day. One line was on almost every page. “I like ice-cream.” I immediately called Usman and told him to bring some along with some food.

 

Shaan wasn’t going downstairs so he wasn’t eating anything except buns he had bought from a bakery the day before. I told him the staff would get him anything he wanted. All he had to do was tell them what. He nodded and I wondered if it was actually going to happen.

 

It was the first page of the diary that caught my attention.

On it he had written Name, Father’s name, Mother’s name and then filled them out. Everyone’s last name was Shaan. For Address he had written Shadman. Below that was “Date of birth” and “ID card number.” Those were blank. It was like a form. Everything about him was so particular. He reminded me of myself. Later he told me he was born in late November.

 

“I’m Sagittarius,” he said.

 

When I asked him about the people he used to hang out with in the park, he didn’t say much.

 

To my question, “What were they like?” he answered, “If you spend time with someone, it’s not nice to say anything bad about them.”

 

Wow, I thought. I felt like I was seeing someone who was the personification of a daily tasbeeh I read myself and also taught my niece. “Allah u Rabbi.” “My Lord is The One who raises me by His Lutf, Kindness and His Fazal, Bounty.” For Shaan at least one consequence of that raising seemed to be a bestowing of excellence in manners.

 

I could see he was tired. I asked him if he slept well. “It’s a new place so you know…” he said looking down, his eyes turning sad. “And if you think of something bad before you sleep, then sometimes it comes into your dream.”

 

To just that comment, I had a thousand questions but I kept my mouth shut. I racked my brain for something that might make him laugh. But since I didn’t know him, I couldn’t think of anything. I tried just being friendly.

 

“Yesterday I noticed the way you made your list of things you were going to get. Using the wood to line the page,” I said smiling.

 

“Yes,” he said looking up at me. “I like to write on paper that has lines.”

 

He had written down exactly seven items on it; a pail with a bowl for it, soap, a towel, a bed-sheet, shampoo and powder.

I sat with Shaan while he ate, then I left. When I got home I started feeling bad that he might be feeling lonely. I called Qari Sahib to ask him what to do.

 

“It’s just an adjustment for him right now. The first few days are hard. Then they become better. It’s like that for anyone who lives alone for the first time.”

 

“But the room isn’t great Qari Sahib,” I said. “It’s a big size but it needs stuff so it’s cozy. There’s nothing in it.”

 

“No one’s first room is great,” my teacher responded clearly remembering his own.

 

The problem was I was thinking of a story Qari Sahib had told us recently in class:

 

One day a man came to see Hazrat Shah Suleman Taunsvi (ra). He asked him about Tauheed, the One-ness of Allah.

 

“Teach me what it means,” he requested.

 

The Saint replied, “Tauheed is thinking of Allah better than you think of yourself. Or at least treating him as you treat yourself.”

 

The man was flabbergasted.

 

“What are you saying to me? I had no idea you would say something so inappropriate as a scholar and someone so highly regarded in spirituality. How can I think of Allah in any way related to my base self. This is shirk. You are misguiding people,” he ranted.

 

Hazrat Shah Suleman Taunsvi (ra) calmly replied, “This is what I know of Tauheed and so I have told you it. If you can find a better answer elsewhere, seek it.”

 

The man wanted to leave but night had already appeared so he decided to stay till the morning. Hazrat Shah Suleman Taunsvi (ra) told his disciples to give him dinner but with a special instruction.

 

“Send him some fresh food and bread and some that is old.”

 

As the man began to eat, a sa’il, one in need, made a plea in the street.

 

“Will anyone give me anything in the Name of Allah?”

 

The man heard the voice and looked at his tray. Then he decided to keep the fresh food for himself and send the old one to the hungry person. Soon after he fell asleep.

 

The next morning, before leaving, he came to Hazrat Shah Suleman Taunsvi (ra) to say goodbye. He asked him again, “So did you understand anything about Tauheed from our previous conversation?”

 

The man reiterated his disappointment.

 

The Saint then said, “O friend! Listen to me. I told you this; Think of Allah more than you think of yourself or treat Him at the least, as you treat yourself. Yesterday night you had before you fresh food as well as food that was old. When the needy person asked for something for the Sake of Allah, you kept the good food for yourself and sent the old food for him.

Since sadqa goes into the Hands of Allah, you kept what was better and sent what was worse to Him. You couldn’t treat Allah better than yourself by giving the man all the fresh food and you couldn’t even treat him as you treat yourself (by giving him some of it).”

 

It was true; understanding the essence of faith, of God, who for so many was entirely elusive, always only comes as a result of another human being.

 

Then Qari Sahib had quoted a verse from the Quran;

 

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَنفِقُوا مِن طَيِّبَاتِ مَا كَسَبْتُمْ

وَمِمَّا أَخْرَجْنَا لَكُم مِّنَ الْأَرْضِ

الْخَبِيثَ مِنْهُ تُنفِقُونَ وَلَا تَيَمَّمُوا

وَلَسْتُم بِآخِذِيهِ إِلَّا أَن تُغْمِضُوا فِيهِ

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَنِيٌّ حَمِيد

 

O ye attained who faith!

Spend on others out of the good things which you have acquired

and out of that which We have produced from the Earth.

Do not choose the worst of it to give in charity that you yourself would be reluctant to accept.

Know that Allah is Rich beyond need and Praiseworthy.

 

Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 267

 

I thought of my room and what was in it. His room and what was in it. I sent a text around to my friends to get some furniture so I could place it in his room before I left. I went to see my Aunt but my heart felt heavy. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. On the way back I told my driver that I thought Shaan was low. That I didn’t know how to raise his spirits.

Usman told me that the guys in the workshop had said they tried to make conversation with him and to everything they asked, Shaan had said, “If you don’t mind, mujhe nahin pata.” “If you don’t mind, I don’t know.”

 

I burst out laughing. Sounded like a t-shirt Uzma would love!

 

I called Hiba and told her I was feeling nervous. She said she was sending over a phone for Shaan through her driver.

“He will have it tonight. Then we can call him. And he can call other people. That might make him happier. And I will go see him tomorrow. It will just take a little time.”

 

He had said he liked art. I thought I would get him some stuff so he can paint while he waits for his job to start. I thought I would buy him a bike. He said he preferred a bicycle to a motor bike. But would these things make him happy?

 

That night I cried in my bed while I thought of him and I cried in my prayers at dawn. I only asked for one thing; “Guide my heart to do that which will make Shaan happy. Please, tell me what will make him happy.”

 

It was a prayer I never prayed like that for anyone before. Not a family member that was unhappy, not a romantic love that was sad, not a friend who was depressed. I prayed for them to be happy, sure but I never pleaded for it. Plus people are different. Some shun love offered all the time. Others choose their loneliness, then extract pride from it. It always ended up a façade upon a façade full of landmines, impossible to traverse. Shaan was alone.

 

The prayer I uttered for guidance was new. It had been the topic of a lecture I heard by Uzair the same day; a hadith mubarik

 

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ

 

Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika

 

“O Allah! I ask guidance from Your Knowledge.”

 

“Guide my heart, Ya Rabbi, to do what which is right for Shaan. Pleeeeeease!” I sobbed.

 

While I lay in bed, I could sense my nafs feeling astounded.

 

Then it asked me, “Why are you crying like this? Do you want Shaan to be happy because of that story you read in Ghaus Pak’s (ra) book? ‘Pleasing the needy is pleasing God.’”

 

“No,” I answered truthfully starting to cry again. “I’m just worried. What if he doesn’t feel happy.”

 

“Well, could you wait a day to see what happens please because you’re killing me,” was its genuinely irritated response.

 

Through the tears I smiled. A sense of humour always did heal everything for me! That’s why Zee’s always been the most special of my friends.

 

I think what was making me feel that worried was my leaving for the States for a month two days later. If I had been in Lahore longer, I would have been able to see Shaan every other day and made sure personally that he was settled. If the job was not going to start, I would have found other things for him to do so his time was occupied. I was sure he missed the park, the outdoors, sound.

 

The next day I called Shaan in the morning and told him I was sending over the rest of the stuff he had asked for. It was a shalwar kamiz, gray, tea bags, sugar, a frying pan, a pot to boil water, some plates and cutlery. I added to that a new pair of pyjamas I had just gotten made for myself and a t-shirt I absolutely love. I wanted to take them myself but it was a crazy day so I sent Usman. Which as it turned out was the best thing I could have done.

 

“Call me when you are with him so I can have a word please.”

An hour or so later, I heard from him. Shaan’s voice sounded upbeat. He loved the clothes and now he was going for a drive with Usman to buy some fruit and check out a park nearby. He told me again that I had great taste. I asked him to please see what the food choices were nearby so he wasn’t eating junk.

 

“You sound much better today,” I said. “You sound happy.”

 

I could hear his smile. “Yes,” he said dreamily. “It’s a good day,” he said in English and my heart leapt with joy. I thanked God in my heart and vowed to do a tasbeeh later.

 

In our last class on the Haj Qari Sahib had told us the verse:

 

وَيَزِيدُ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ اهْتَدَوْا هُدًى

وَالْبَاقِيَاتُ الصَّالِحَاتُ خَيْرٌ عِندَ رَبِّكَ ثَوَابًا وَخَيْرٌ مَّرَدًّ

 

And Allah increases guidance for those who accept guidance.

And the everlasting good deeds are far better near your Lord in reward and in outcome.

Surah Maryam, Verse 76

 

“Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) says that those “everlasting good deeds” are sometimes words. Specifically the words His Beloved (saw) chose were, ‘Subhan Allah, Alhamdolillah, Allah o Akbar, La hawala wa la quwwata.’”

 

All Glory is for Allah, All praise is for Him alone, Allah is the Greatest, I cannot come around to that which is good for me (without Him) and I cannot stay away from that which is harmful to me (without Him).

 

It was a tasbeeh that held deep meaning for me that day!

Especially the last part.

 

In the evening I went to the shrine in the park to say Salam, then to Daata Sahib’s (ra) to say goodbye. On the way I asked Usman to tell me the details of the afternoon. He told me Shaan seemed to have had a really good time.

 

“I set up his phone and he called me. Hiba bibi gave him a really nice one. Samsung.”

 

“Oh, so you were the first call,” I said almost with a pang of jealousy. “Cool! That’s good. It’s very important he trusts someone. You should go see him twice a week while I’m gone and take him out for a drive, do something fun, eat something nice. He will enjoy that.”

 

Usman smiled. “When we came back from the shopping, he even had a cup of tea with the workers downstairs for the first time. Then as I was taking my leave to come home, I asked him if he needed anything else. He said no, he was fine. Then he offered me the Sprite he bought and I said no thank you, I just had tea.

 

So he asked me if I wanted fruit from the peaches and apples we had just got. Again I said no and Shaan says, ‘Aren’t you my best friend? If you take some fruit, it will make me really happy.’ Then he put the two bags in front of me. He didn’t even pick them out. So I took a peach and an apple.”

 

I noted Usman pointing out that he placed the bags before him; Rich people always pick out things and give them. Quantity is always chosen. They never place it in front of anyone and say, “Take what you want, however much you want.”

 

I listened to each word intently and it occurred to me that gentleness, like grace, was endowed. Not just to Shaan but everyone. How we responded to the difficulty of life made us aggressive if we became angry or bitter if we became dejected. Those that didn’t remained gentle. That’s what made it rare as well as palpable.

 

I thought of the hadith I had just translated with Qari Sahib about the Bedouin who asked Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) 25 questions. When we got home, I looked up each question that had the word “manners” in the answer.

 

“The man said, ‘How do I perfect my Imaan, faith?’”

 

Allah’s Beloved (peace be upon him) said, “Improve your manners (akhlaq).””

 

Then he asked, “What is the worst thing?”

 

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him) said, “Having bad manners and being miserly.”

 

Lastly, he asked, “And what is the best of things?”

 

The Beloved of Allah (peace be upon him) replied, “Excellence in manners, humility and patience.”

 

Shaan possessed all three!

 

How one celebrates a blessing and bears a trial is entirely different for each person. Ghaus Pak (ra) says that those who are grateful for their blessings and reflect upon them and heed from them, their reward is that they move forward, rank by rank, drowning in the knowing of Allah’s Jamal, Beauty.

 

After we had shifted Shaan to Hiba’s place, she had called me thanking me profusely for the opportunity to do something kind. I had said to her that what we had done was nothing in terms of its impact on our time or our wallet. I could have given Shaan ten times more money than I had already or that I would eventually and it would have made no difference to my wealth.

 

“It’s what he does for us that’s going to be unique Hib,” I said.

“I don’t know what it will mean for me but I know for you, it will be a reward so sweet, I can’t even begin to fathom its impact.”

 

While the events were happening, every time I met a friend it was all I could speak about. Each one expressed curiosity around what Shaan’s circumstances might have been that lead him to live in a park of all places.

 

“Will you ask him?” they wondered.

 

“No,” I replied. “I don’t think I will.”

 

I wasn’t curious about it personally. I never am about the source of people’s pain. It’s too difficult to hear. Dysfunction fascinates me but not pain. Especially when it is almost sublime.

 

Recently I had added a prayer to my intention before each Namaz. I learnt it through Uzair again. The prayer was uttered by Hazrat Mohyuddin Ibn e Arabi (ra), Ghaus Pak’s (ra) progeny. It was amazing. I said it with inordinate focus which I almost always lost a few seconds later. If nothing else, for the first time in my namaz I was able to convey my soul’s longing.

 

ارید ان اصلی للقربۃ الی اللہ

 

“I want to pray to gain closeness to God.”

 

Meeting Shaan, finding him a place to live in, a job, all of it suddenly seemed like prayer to me. Like an act of worship. It made me realize that everything I do, I want it to somehow bring me closer to my Lord. Lately, I had already been saying the prayer, just changing the verb, for anything I did during the day.

 

“I want to drink to gain closeness to God.”

 

“I want to eat to gain closeness to God.”

 

Most times I said that, I would just stare at the drink or morsel in my hand and wonder at myself, “I expect this to bring me closeness?” It made me think about why spirituality places such extraordinary emphasis on simplicity and purity of food.

This year I learnt, much to my amazement that the first 10 days of Haj are special like no other to God.

 

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ:‏‏‏‏

مَا مِنْ أَيَّامٍ الْعَمَلُ الصَّالِحُ فِيهِنَّ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ مِنْ هَذِهِ الْأَيَّامِ الْعَشْرِ

فَقَالُوا:‏‏‏‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَلَا الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ، ‏‏‏‏‏‏

فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ:‏‏‏‏

وَلَا الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا رَجُلٌ خَرَجَ بِنَفْسِهِ وَمَالِهِ فَلَمْ يَرْجِعْ مِنْ ذَلِكَ بِشَيْءٍ

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, "There are no days in which good deeds are more beloved to Allah then these ten days of Zil Haj."

 

They (the Companions) asked, "Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you)! Not even jihad in Allah's Cause?"

 

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) replied, "Not even jihad in Allah's Cause, except for the man who went for it with his self and his wealth and did not return with any of them."

 

Since I heard the hadith, which was on day four or five, I had been in overdrive trying to do good things. It as not lost on me that Shaan came in to my life during these days.

 

Through traversing the path of spirituality, I have learnt that the greatest boon of attachment to the Friends of God is learning the short-cuts. Otherwise unknown. One of the surprising ones that I discovered came courtesy of a scientist, Avicenna or Ibn e Sina, who was a Persian polymath regarded as one of the most significant physicians, astronomers, thinkers and writers of the Islamic Golden Age.

 

He has been described as the father of early modern medicine. Of the 450 works he is known to have written, around 240 have survived, including 150 on philosophy and 40 on medicine. He had memorized the Quran by the age of 10, started studying medicine at the age of 16 and by 18 was a qualified physician. But he also had a deep interest in theology and studied it with the aim to reconcile it with rational philosophy.

 

He writes; “The softness of the heart comes from two things. The first is purification of thought. The second, a pure love, the condition for which is that it is mental and spiritual, not physical and lustful, so that the reason for loving the beloved is their akhlaq (manners and morality) that forms their behavior.”

 

I don’t believe I have ever seen anyone fall in love with someone because of manners and morality. But I guess there’s always a first time.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says in Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani addressing his listener, “I love you for your sake not mine.” It was such a simple statement. It made me wonder who I had ever loved in my life for their sake alone. I only came up with two people; my mother and my niece. Only for them was my love purely unconditional. It was not transient. It did not dissipate. It did not require reciprocity. It was muwwadat!

 

With everyone else, once I hit my 40s, calculation, negotiation, expectation seeped into my love. Then followed disappointment and hurt. And funnily enough, it was always all in my head. I hardly ever even voiced it to anyone.

 

Maulana Shams Tabrez (ra) says that love with conditions is Hell. He couldn’t have used a better word. I guess that’s why the heart has to be cleansed of association with anything except God. It’s not for His Sake, it’s for mine. Otherwise I am burning in fires of unceasing torment. I can accept another’s nature but I can’t give them preference.

 

Acceptance alone still leaves a hurt masking grudge. Only with that preference, when we are both needy, will greed (in my case emotional) be taken from me and I will be of the Mufliheen.

 

وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌ ۚ

وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

 

They give them preference over themselves, even if they themselves are needy.

And whoever is spared from their own greed, they are the successful ones.

Surah Al-Hashr, Verse 9

 

I even knew in theory what would create unconditional love; the annihilation of the ego. That was the cure for everything else as well.

 

The greatest of blessings is escaping the entrapments of your ego because between you and your Creator, it is the thickest of veils

- Hazrat Abu Bakr Tamastani (ra)

 

But I didn’t know how to make it happen.

 

And then it was made to happen for me. At least in one instance.

 

It was two days before I was leaving for Portland. I had asked Usman to get Shaan a tv, a paint job for his room, he chose gray, some curtains for his window and a ceiling fan. He was not happy with the one in his room. “Let him pick out everything,” I said. “So he likes it.” Deeda was sending over furniture, pretty much everything a room would need. Hopefully work would start soon after.

 

I was visiting my 90 some year old grandmother who adores me for some reason unknown to the rest of the family since she has probably two dozen grandchildren. She stares at me with the sweetest smile. In turn, I show my love pleasing her by wearing my best outfits on every visit, which I would otherwise never wear, because she loves touching fabric and commenting on it.

 

Suddenly I received a text on my phone that something bad had happened to someone I once knew. We were not estranged but our relationship was not warm either. But then maybe it was estranged because I always felt after like I had met a stranger. So I guess I could say it was kind of non-existent.

 

I remained calm and called my friend who sent the text. “What happened?” I asked.

 

“I don’t really know. Let me first confirm,” is all she said and quickly hung up.

 

Feeling nervous, I left my grandmother’s house and came home waiting to hear from her. I called the person in question and received no answer. That’s when the paranoia started kicking in and I began to think of the worst of possibilities. I started calling the person the text was about half a dozen times. My friend who told me the “news” didn’t pick up my calls either, she didn’t respond to my texts. As I saw myself starting to panic I thought, maybe I should just pray.

 

It was a long prayer Qari Sahib had told us to try and do every day during the Haj days. I knew once I started I wouldn’t be able to answer the phone for at least 20 minutes. But I began anyway. Through the prayer I cried. First I asked God to please let the person be ok. Then I began telling myself that if the worst has happened, it must be accepted as His Will but through that my tears streamed non-stop.

 

While I read the Arabic part, my heart whispered, “It’s true. I surrender myself to Allah and His Rasool (peace be upon him). I entrust my matter to Allah and His Rasool (peace be upon him). I seek the pleasure of Allah wa Rasoolu-hu (peace be upon him).”

 

My phone rang throughout my namaz and I ignored it. Then when I finished and looked at the missed calls, three of them were from the person the text was about. I breathed a sigh of relief and called back.

 

“You called me six times,” I heard on the other end.

 

“Come to my house now,” I said with an urgency.

 

The rest of that story isn’t important. What is is that the devastatingly intense experience only happened to make me realize how fragile life is. That choosing to hold a grudge or be badguman, thinking of another as insincere or insensitive, at the same time as claiming love for them was not acceptable to God. Not as a show of disapproval from Him but simply because the claim was a false and truth and falsehood cannot co-exist.

 

It went against one of my most intense asks after each namaz, a prayer that Allah taught his Beloved (peace be upon him). And I remember repeating it in the shrine in the park and hoping it would come true.

 

وَقُل رَّبِّ أَدْخِلْنِي مُدْخَلَ صِدْقٍ

وَأَخْرِجْنِي مُخْرَجَ صِدْقٍ

وَاجْعَل لِّي مِن لَّدُنكَ سُلْطَانًا نَّصِيرً

 

Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you), “O my Lord! Cause me to enter (in all I do) with truth

and cause me to leave (it) with truth,

and grant me out of Thy Grace, a sustaining strength.

Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 80

 

There was, in fact, no love. It was just pretense created by the ego, rendering me to be the most insincere of all while longing for sincerity. Even the beginning of this piece while I edited it. I noticed I sound bitter because I felt dejected.

 

I spoke to Shaan one last time the day before I left. It had rained that morning and cooled the weather significantly. “It’s very pleasant outside today,” he said when I asked him how he was. He told me he didn’t want a tv but would rather have a speaker to listen to music. He chose gray for the colour of his wall paint. He had even made a pouch for his new phone with some cloth he had. Usman told me every single time he gave him something, he thanked him profusely.

 

I told Shaan I would speak to him sometime from the States. He ended the call with me warmly expressing his feelings, “I love you Ma’am,” he said. I smiled. “Take care of yourself please.”

 

What happens next who knows but there was absolutely no better way to mark the present moment, which happened to be the 10th of Zil Haj. My incidence of good deeds was sky high. A fake news text brought me closer to being truthful. And a homeless person in a park by the name of Shaan made me a Mo’min!

 

www.youtube.com/channel/UCqb01bB-J3kyiu-HKIX2MKw

The Idols in my Heart

 

The beauty, zeenat, of the heart comes from Tauheed (the

One-ness of God)

ikhlas (sincerity),

trusting Allah,

it comes from His Remembrance

and in forgetting others.

Ghaus Pak (ra)

 

Writing truthfully comes naturally to me. Writing about my dark side, easily. I can see it in the light of others, the contrast striking. I can see it in their darkness, we are always only shades apart. My esteemed Spiritual Master Babu ji (ra) says countless times in Musafir Chand Roza; “Think of yourself as the worst. Think of everyone else as better than you.”

 

I was never able to do that, think of myself as the worst. And it was without discussing those who made everyone feel they were better than them. After all, some souls had made no promises. They had not reached out and been embraced. Hence, they were yoked, captive themselves. If they behaved badly it was not surprising. But I hailed myself as a keeper of promises. Regressing once in a while was one thing. Breaking a foundational rule, entirely another.

 

So over four weeks on a summer holiday I finally came to reach the point of honestly thinking I was undoubtedly the worst. This is that story that in fact should not be told. And if it is, I have wondered while writing it, can it ever be told truthfully?

 

Begin.

 

When you have one person left that is family that person is important. You have seen good times and bad together. Each of you has changed in their own ways, marking their footsteps with imprints, scars and wounds to show for their paths on their spiritual journey. You part ways often but you will always meet again. If not joy, life and if not pain, death creates reunion forever.

 

In the interim sometimes one sinks in mistrust wondering, are they sincere to me? The dimmest of light in the heart dying to be heard screams yes. The darkness simply whispers no. Yet prevails.

 

This summer after two years I returned to what was my home for years. Simply because it was my brother’s home. Portland, Oregon. A city that felt divine because of its beauty and its food, both simple yet overwhelming, in a good way. My cousin happened to be there too. That was a stroke of luck. He is gentle and calm, chilled. The opposite of me even though we were both born on the same day four years apart. I was glad he was there. I had really gotten to know him only on a trip once years ago because he was outside of Lahore. In the city we both lived in, he was usually depressed, languishing in fantasies that would never come true.

 

My niece was now ten. She was and always will be my heart’s greatest delight. The second person I loved without expectation, negotiation, calculation. I recently added a third and fourth to that list. I hope it grows. I feel it so starkly now what Maulana Shams Tabrez (ra) means when he says that love with those three aspects in it is hell. And without it, heaven. It was so strange to realize in all my interactions of love once the 40’s began, all of which I felt so intensely, bliss had always been absent.

 

Even now when I regress, say something, do something and think of how or whether it might be reciprocated, I feel that fire of hell and wonder; how did I burn in it for these last 10 years? Burn…in...it...

 

I was prepared for the trip in advance. As in spiritually trained for it in Lahore. By my Masters from the Realm of the Unseen and my friends on this Earth. There were two simple rule to follow; first, exercise silence. And two, understand and accept that nothing you want will happen.

 

Both rules were next to impossible for me to execute without lapse for the former and reaction to the latter. Still I buckled down and took a deep breath. I joked with a cousin of mine before leaving; If I can pull it off Cuz, I’m coming back with a halo around my head!

 

Day 15 was when I faced my failure dead in the face. My tongue finally lashed out. My temper raged. My brother reacted somewhat calmly because he always says the same thing; drink a glass of cold water. He must have read it somewhere in tips for anger management. Of course that was infuriating. I left the room in a huff and the sick part was as I entered mine, where my niece was brushing her teeth, I felt elated.

 

A volcano had finally burst so pressure was released. A molten lava erupted leaving me unscathed. A few minutes later I re-entered his room sickened by my pleasure at taking someone out. I apologized. He kept saying he didn’t understand why I reacted the way I did. I had no answer to that because I felt he should have known it was coming. But I gave no explanation because every single one I had would have only served to provoke him and hence me. I apologized again. He accepted it gracefully.

 

That afternoon I chose to stay behind while the three of them went shopping to the city. We were spending most of the five weeks in a beach town on the coast. I grabbed my book & drove to a restaurant where I loved the food. I stared out the window at dense fog, and then found a beach to walk on.

 

I saw a few cars parked on the side of a road. I could see the sand from where I stopped so I knew it wasn’t going to be far. I put on my headphone and the track that was my summer pick – Sultan + Shepherd, Run to you – grabbed my camera and made my way down. The beach was lovely. It was a cliff on one side that was laid on a bed of rocks. I decided to climb over them and walk to the edge so I could sit right near the water.

 

It was around 4 that I realized I hadn’t prayed Zuhr. I would not get back into town in time to say it so I decided to pray on the rocks. During the prayer I thought about the moment I had experienced with my brother that morning. The moment I had successfully avoided for 15 days. The moment that had made me feel victorious when it was really nothing but defeat. Nonetheless it was also a moment which allowed me to see him for where he was standing in his life.

 

Overtly he appeared strong, financially independent, capable, seemingly in no need of anything, emotional or otherwise. But it was a false bravado. Because bravado is always false. His aggression, which seemed to manifest itself instantly, was in fact just the opposite. It was intense fragility. As if a shattering was just a hair’s breadth away and he was skirting it every single moment all the time.

 

There was in fact no confidence. There was never any confidence. My father had never allowed it. Its false appearance was a mask that over time had become worn out so now it kept peeling off. That part he was aware of. It was what caused the tension inside him to repeat one exercise in repeat; plastering that mask back on again and again. That is why seclusion was preferred. Everything else must have felt taxing.

 

I replayed the morning’s incident in my mind over and over. I wanted to see my role in it. I had not even really lost my temper. I had just expressed irritation. At being slighted. At being ignored. At being out of bounds really as far as any consideration or sensitivity was concerned. I had been annoyed at best. I had expressed it by being dismissive and condescending. That was the trigger!

 

It was my making him feel insignificant, the hinting that his behaviour was abnormal. It was me being my father! The truth was that he was also being my father. As far as triggering me was concerned. But there was a big difference. I knew what was happening. I could exercise control over my reaction. All I had to do was be quiet.

 

He didn’t know anything. He was getting through life hour by hour, minute by minute, hoping his world didn’t crash, hoping he didn’t crash. And not even for his own sake. For his daughter’s. Who already knows what he’s like. Like all children learn their parent’s flaws at the youngest age. And love them anyway. Ignore them anyway.

 

During my prayer I thought about how I was one of those ordinary people who learnt only through failure. Who always had to be bad in order to be good. And I thought of my beloved Nabi Kareem (saw) who was only and always good. Kind. Gentle. Soft. I had read a new story recently where he was walking and some man came up behind him and pulled him back by his shirt so roughly that he tore it.

 

“Give me something,” he demanded.

 

A war had been won. The spoils were being distributed.

 

Nabi Kareem (saw) simply turned around and smiled.

 

“Give him what he wants,” he said.

 

Just like that!

 

But I was never good. To be good I had to always first face my evil. I hated that so much. It disappointed me so deeply I would just cry. That day sitting on the rocks I wept and asked my Lord for the first time, Ya Rabbi! When will I just be good? Would it ever happen? Could it even happen? I heard the waves crash on the rocks around me and waited for an answer. It didn’t come.

 

The wind blew hard carrying birds I had never seen before gliding away in lines. I packed my stuff and headed back towards the car. For 14 days I had been praying fervently, ardently, eagerly, passionately, fanatically. How can I express love to someone, I would ask Allah, who has an impenetrable barrier around them? A new barrier that I had never seen before, that I was not used to. And then I knew.

 

Perhaps there was no way around it. Maybe I was not going to be able to go through it and find myself on the inside. Ever! If the shield made another feel safe, then it was not for me to undo that for them. The only thing I could do was express my love. Which I had not been doing with my brother. In practicing my muteness, I had not said anything kind to him either. I had just been mirroring him, the only difference between us being my silence.

 

On good days I had felt hopeful. On bad, I felt like I visited someone who had jailed themselves. I sat across a glass door. I picked up a phone. I waited for a Hello! If I was lucky, we spoke. Otherwise he disappeared leaving me, the one who is “free” bound, wondering if the next interaction would be better. It made me realize he wasn't the only person in my life like that.

 

In the first few days when I couldn’t figure anything out I called Qari Sahib just to say hello. He gave me a prayer to say. Since I have never uttered verses before in certain number to bring about change in another person, I was dejected by his advice. But then the Surah turned out to one of my favourites, Al-Nasr, so I started saying it. I recited it a lot anyway.

 

I even set up a time to understand the tafseer of it by Ghaus Pak (ra).

 

إِذَا جَآءَ نَصْرُ ٱللَّهِ وَٱلْفَتْحُ

وَرَأَيْتَ ٱلنَّاسَ يَدْخُلُونَ فِى دِينِ ٱللَّهِ أَفْوَاجًا

فَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْهُ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ تَوَّابًۢا

 

When comes the Help of Allah and the Victory,

and you see the people entering into the religion of Allah in multitudes.

Then glorify with the praises of your Lord and ask His Forgiveness.

Indeed, He is Oft-Returning

Surah Al-Fath, Verses 1-3

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Ida ja’a nasurallah: When it will come to you, O Messenger who completes Prophethood (peace be upon you), the Promise of Allah which He promised you, that He will help you against all your enemies. And make your religion dominate all other religions…

 

Wal fath: …which Allah already informed you of with his verse

“Inna fathana laka fath han mubeenan - ‏إِنَّا فَتَحْنَا لَكَ فَتْحًۭا مُّبِينًۭا ‎- Indeed, We have given victory, to you a victory clear. 48/1”

 

Wa: Now it has come; that victory and the help that you were promised, completing your control and overcoming all your enemies and dominating your religion over all other religions…

 

Rait an Naas a yadkhulna fi deen Allah I afwaja: …troop by troop and group by group, after which they will come individual by individual.

 

Fa sabbih bi hamdi Rabbika: O Messenger who completes Prophethood (peace be upon you)! Be thankful that He has granted you all that He promised you. And He gave you victory upon all the Universe. And perfected your excellence in manner and honorable etiquette by raising you, then unveiling your appearance for all people.

 

Wa astahfir-hu: So ask Him to let go of everything and forgive from His Majesty, for the benefit of your person and your transgressions (in love).

 

Inna hu kana Tawwaba: He forgives all who ask for forgiveness from Him and also accepts the repentance of those who turn towards Him again. If those feelings come dipped in sincerity.

 

It was the last line that resonated for me the most. I turned in repentance again and again. But it also made me wonder about the last line. Were my feelings always dipped in sincerity?

 

I even studied what is the Khatim as Surah, a note at the end of each Surah, concluding it, that Ghaus Pak (ra) writes for the reader:

 

O You who seeks success on the Last Day and is interested in the spiritual blessings from Allah Himself which have been promised that come from asking forgiveness from Him! And in focusing your attention towards Him in all your states all the time and entrusting your matters in their entirety to Him! And making Him your Disposer of Affairs! And making Him the One who takes care of you and becomes your Guarantor!

 

For you the duty is to be steadfast in obedience and worship. And stay away from that which has been made forbidden and evil for you. May Allah protect you from sins and bring you to the place of culminating your purpose by His Bounty (Fazl) and His Kindness (Lutf).

 

In saying the Surah by count for the first time, I realized that prayers that are supposedly to alter another’s heart are amazing because whether they impact the other person or not, they definitely alter one’s own. It’s the Quran after all. Ease of the heart is promised.

 

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ

 

Those who believed and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah.

No doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find their rest.

Surah Ar-Rad, Verse 28

 

But it was early days. Half the trip remained. I felt ease because I was successful in exercising silence but I was seriously lacking something which I had taken for granted on my end; the entrusting of matters in their entirety to Him, and making Him the only Disposer of Affairs, and making Him the

One who takes care of me and thus becoming my Guarantor!

 

In Lahore, I always felt my reliance singularly, doubtlessly because I was alone. There was no one except God for me there. When I made mistakes, erring constantly, they had to do with my own person. The regret came naturally and the repentance was doused in sincerity.

 

Patterns were recognized and broken quickly. Here I was repeating the mistake without recognizing it and therefore without addressing it. I noted the difference was coming from the relationship that was woven into my life inextricably. The others I could walk away from. This I could not escape.

 

I knew that because the whole trip had got me thinking about friends of mine who had spouses who were difficult. Who can fly off the handle without provocation. Be verbally abusive or just distant, indifferent. Then cycle to some sweetness and become hard again. Endlessly. For decades. I often tried to share with them what I learnt but I was not married and I have never had experience, long-term living in the same space with someone who was like that. I shared what worked for me in difficulty of shaking off looping thoughts. That was about it. I didn’t have to face the people creating those thoughts all day long.

 

I had found my brother to be was more closed off than usual. Perhaps it was because his marriage was on fragile grounds. Maybe it was from living alone for the last two years. Then my father had died only a few months before. He was always veiled anyway but the veils seemed thicker.

 

Day in and day out I wondered how to reach him. I felt like it was an exercise in vain like scaling walls put up by the other only to reach the top and find, the walls were in fact higher. The rope wasn’t enough. You could only stay suspended.

 

On one of my alone days while reading Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani, I finally understood why Ghaus Pak (ra) defined the last and highest state of sabr, patience, to be that which is not waited for to be over. It was something that had always truly perplexed me. Why wouldn’t someone want a trial of difficulty to end?

 

“Once I was faced with a trial and it left me in a state of pain for a few days. I requested Allah to make it end. And He intensified my pain through another trial. In that moment, I was left mutahayyar, bewildered.

 

Then I heard a voice from the Unseen, ‘Did you not in your initial stages say that, in all my states, I surrender to my Lord?’

 

Thus I was taught adab regard, and I became still.”

 

I loved that last line. How the extraordinary were taught something through a single line and in a single moment becoming “still” for eternity!

 

I already knew that what lay at the heart of badly broken people; shame and abandonment. It’s what lay behind the dysfunction we all have. But theirs seemed to be different. I recently discovered the major one to be that a time comes when they cannot take any chances.

 

They refuse to put themselves in a position of vulnerability. Not with any relation. Not for any reason. They seem to be minimizing risk of hurt and disappointment to zero but in that singular pursuit they don’t see that they will have to reject all love.

 

All of it!

 

How barren would life be then?

 

It made me sigh deeper than usual.

 

On day 21, my trip was coming to a close in two weeks. My cousin was leaving in one. In that moment when the end appeared on the horizon, clarity came with it. What I have not mentioned thus far, primarily out of disappointment and embarrassment, was my financial dependence on my brother. He had given me his credit card. He had done that many times before. But this time he seemed to do it, not begrudgingly, but not quite as generously either.

 

I had brought a substantial amount of money to cover my expenses but I had spent it all on my ticket, renting weekend apartments and hiring cars over the 6 weeks. I expected him to cover the cost of my being there otherwise. And it was again during my prayers that I was made to see myself relying on him when my pockets were not empty. I just didn’t want to spend my money on incidentals because I thought I shouldn’t have to. But I ignored those revelations that came. That was a colossal mistake!

 

Day after day my prayers were distracted from morning till night. I would hear a voice inside my heart saying words like ghair mukhlis, insincere, munafiq, hypocrite. I listened to the words over and over feeling my chest tighten and yet, I didn’t change anything. Till the end appeared.

 

The tragic fact was I was not even buying anything I really wanted on his card. He was not going to end up spending half as much money on me than I would spend on myself. Still I felt entitled to it and instead, I ignored my soul that was burning. And I let it burn.

 

Then on another day while I was reading Ghaus Pak (ra) spoke to me;

 

“O you who seeks ilm, knowledge! Without amal, deed, there is no trust upon your knowledge and without ikhlaas, sincerity, there is no trust upon your deed. For it is like a body without a soul.

 

The symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people when they praise you nor when they are critical of you and – this was the line especially for me – the symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people or the wealth that is in their hands.”

 

The symbol of your sincerity!

 

Then he continued, “For how will you deliver on your promises to Allah that (1) only He is your Lord (2) you were created to gain His Recognition and (3) make your deeds to please the Giver of all Blessings instead of the overt giver of it who is just the medium.”

 

Whilst translating the text with Qari Sahib he told me the verses Ghaus Pak (ra) was referring to in the Quran. That is when I knew, I was amongst those who said, “Bala! Indeed, You are.”

 

وَإِذْ أَخَذَ رَبُّكَ مِنۢ بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ مِن ظُهُورِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَأَشْهَدَهُمْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ ۖ

قَالُوا۟ بَلَىٰ ۛ شَهِدْنَآ ۛ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَـٰمَةِ إِنَّا كُنَّا عَنْ هَـٰذَا غَـٰفِلِينَ

 

And recall when Your Lord summoned the offspring of the children of Adam from their loins and made them testify about themselves, “Am I not your Lord?”

They said, “Yes, we do testify.”

Thus you cannot say on the Day of Resurrection, “We were oblivious of this.”

Surah Al Araaf, Verse 172

 

Also reminding me that according to Ghaus Pak (ra) worshipping Allah is in fact gaining His Recognition:

 

‏وَمَا خَلَقْتُ ٱلْجِنَّ وَٱلْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ ‎

 

And not I have created the jinn and the mankind except that they worship Me.

Surah Ad-Dhariyat, Verse 56

 

But it was the third promise I had forgotten; Make your deeds to please the Giver of all Blessings instead of the overt giver of it, for they are just the medium.

 

Then Ghaus Pak (ra) explained why the medium didn’t matter;

“What people have is the shell, the marrow only lies with God. Thus only when your faith in God and your sincerity towards Him will you become what He expects from you, will you stand before Him forever mindful.

 

Then He will bestow upon you His Recognition and you will come to know the marrow of The Marrow and the inner of The Inner and the meaning of The Meaning.

 

So eat from the left-overs of the Friends of God and drink from what they leave behind for they are fed spirituality and meaning as a reward of their obedience to His Beloved (peace be upon him).”

 

The realization of my insincerity blew a hole in my heart. I walked around in a daze for a few days at what I had done, how I had ignored it. I had transported myself to the darkest of darkness and then planted myself there while seeing the light at the edges of my surrounding. And for what? I shudder typing the word as to what a ghatiya person (lowlife) it made me; money. But at least finally the spell was broken.

 

In those same days while driving around for long periods of time, something I never do in Lahore, I heard a lecture by Uzair from years ago. Perhaps it was when he first started speaking at Hast o Neest. In it he mentioned something Sheikh ul Akbar, Hazrat Mohyuddin Ibn e Arabi (ra), Ghaus Pak’s (ra) son by spiritual lineage, said about Tauheed, the One-ness of God. And he spoke of it in the context of the first line of the Quran;

 

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

 

Alhamdolillah e Rab il Alameen!

 

All praise is due to God alone, the Sustainer of all the worlds.

Surah Fateha, Verse 1

 

Uzair: “All praise is Allah’s alone, who is the Lord of all the worlds. I would like to explain why in the Arabic language, the word alimeen is used here, as opposed to alimoon, both being plural. The difference in which word is to be used is a function of the context. If it is being used for beings that have the ability to reflect, aaqil, the word alimeen is used. If it is being used for the non-thinking, ghair aaqil, then alimoon is used.

 

But if we ponder on the split between reflecting and non-reflecting matter in the Universe, there is much more of the latter. For instance, most of the world, our world, is made of water. There are more plants and there are more animals than there are human beings. And of them, how many reflect? (Uzair smiles). But Allah still is using the word alimeen because of those few thinking ones, so why does He do that?

 

Here Sheikh ul Akbar (ra) says; ‘Look at the line before Alhamdolillah e Rabil Alimeen. The line is Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim. Allah is showing the epitome of the Magnificence of His Mercy by using the two Names, Rahman and Rahim together. So what Allah is saying here is that He loves those who reflect, even if they are just a handful, the tiniest number, He loves them so much that for their sake, He is raising the status of the rest, the non-reflecting human beings, and the rest of creation whatever it is, by calling them as being of the alimeen.

 

So don’t miss the lesson here by the Sheikh which is, connect yourself, join yourself with the good, the truthful, the sincere, the ones chosen by Allah as His Friends, as His Favourites. For no matter how base you think you are and how imperfect, it is Allah’s Sunnah, as I have just described above, that for the sake of just a few, when He is making all the worlds and all the Universe alimeen, He will give you what you need and much more to elevate you from your state to an entirely different state. A higher state of prosperity, both spiritual and worldly. More than you expected, more than you thought you deserved.”

 

Subhan Allah!

 

Then he came to the part that struck my heart.

 

“So Sheikh ul Akbar (ra) says make the standard of your life Tauheed. Which by the way is not ‘being one’ as people all assume. It is to make something one or say that something is one. So how does one do that, make the standard of one’s life purely Allah? Sheikh (ra) says that unless your belief, aqeeda, does not exhibit itself in deed, your amal, it is not a part of your imaan, faith.

 

He is saying that if you want to understand yourself, which is the only way you will understand God, given the hadith

 

مَن عَرَفَ نَفسَہُ فَقَد عَرَفَ رَبَۤہُ

 

The one who knows himself is verily the one who knows his Lord God.

then you have to understand the Kalima Tayyaba that you recite.

 

La ilaha Illa Allah – (translated as There is no god but Allah)

 

Four words!

 

But the words have to permeate your being, in your breath, in your standing and sitting, in your speech, your character and your morality, your essence. So how does the kalima enter my life like that, in every single thing I experience? Here the Sufis give the answer very simply for everyone.

 

They say the Universe is made for a reason so understand that reason. They say that every experience and every situation that we face comes under one of Allah’s Names. Find that Name in the Quran, for they are pearls strewn before you and string it in your Kalima. Replace the “ila” with the Divine Attribute and replace the word “Allah” with His Name which is the Divine Attribute.

 

For example, when you see something beautiful like some calligraphy and you admire it, direct yourself to saying La Khaaliq Illa al Khaaliq – There is no creator except Allah is The Creator. When you meet someone rich and you think, ‘O so and so is so wealthy, direct yourself to the Kalima and say.’La Ghani illa al Ghani – There is no generous one other than Allah is The Generous One. This is what will bring you closer to Tauheed, connect you with it. When you see someone beautiful and you are drawn to them and you think, ‘so and so is so beautiful’ bring yourself to the Kalima and say, ‘la jameel illah al Jameel – There is no beautiful one other than Allah is The Beautiful One.’

 

Then you will never fixate on anything or anyone. You will always be directed to God. And that is how you will know why the world came into being. Why was it created at all. Then you will understand the Hadith Qudsi

 

كُنتُ كنزاً مَخفياً فأحببتُ أن أُعْرَف فخَلَقتُ الخَلْقَ لكي أُعرف

 

I, Allah, was a Treasure Hidden so I loved to be known

Therefore I created Creation so that I will be known.

 

Ahbabtu – “Loved” to be known, not wanted to be known!

 

This is why the Sufis say love was the first movement.”

 

I sighed. Love was the first movement!

 

While listening to the lecture, I wondered for a second about the moments we experience that are not beautiful. That are difficult or unpleasant, destructive. But then I knew my answer all too well already.

 

‏مَّآ أَصَابَكَ مِنْ حَسَنَةٍۢ فَمِنَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَمَآ أَصَابَكَ مِن سَيِّئَةٍۢ فَمِن نَّفْسِكَ ۚ

وَأَرْسَلْنَكَ لِلنَّاسِ رَسُولًۭا ۚ

وَكَفَىٰ بِٱللَّهِ شَهِيدًۭا

 

Whatever befalls you that is good comes from Allah,

and whatever befalls you of evil is from yourself.

And We have sent you for all people as a Messenger,

and sufficient is Allah as a Witness.

Surah An-Nisa, Verse 79

 

Again an-naas, for Mankind, humanity, everyone, as a Messenger!

 

To this day I don’t know why or even how I ignored those voices for three weeks living in my body without a soul. Why? I know one reason was that I was repeating a pattern I had with someone else in the family which was automatically being triggered. That part happened subconsciously.

 

During those same days, the surahs I recited the most in my prayers, where surahs are interchanged with Ikhlaas, were Al-Falaq and An-Naas. They were amongst my favourites and even though I had been told to read others as well, as Allah does not like the same Surahs being repeated over and over, for some reason I recited these the most.

 

In Lahore on random days before our class, I had once asked Qari Sahib what he was studying with other groups of his Quran class. One day he told me about one of them that especially intrigued me.

 

“I spoke to my class about Surah Al-Falaq and Surah An-Naas.”

 

Both are also two of the four Surah that are called the “Quls” because they start with that word, “Qul - Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you),…”

 

“Oh, I love reciting both Surahs Sir. Please tell me as well,” I requested.

 

“Ok,” said Qari Sahib, “Let’s take a deeper look at the structure of Surah Al-Falaq;

 

قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ ٱلْفَلَقِ

مِن شَرِّ مَا خَلَقَ

وَمِن شَرِّ غَاسِقٍ إِذَا وَقَبَ

وَمِن شَرِّ ٱلنَّفَّـٰثَـٰتِ فِى ٱلْعُقَدِ

وَمِن شَرِّ حَاسِدٍ إِذَا حَسَدَ

 

Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you),

“I seek refuge in the Lord of the rising dawn,

From the evil of what He has created,

And the evil of darkness when it spreads,

And the evil from the blowers on the knots (black magic),

And from the evil of the envier when he envies.”

Surah Al-Falaq, Verses 1-5

 

So if you look at the design of the Surah, Allah asks us to

seek refuge from Him once, I seek refuge from the Lord of the rising dawn. But the prayer of refuge is from four evils; the evil of creation, the evil of darkness, the evil of black magic and the evil of envy.

 

Now let’s look at Surah An-Naas;

 

قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ النَّاسِ

مَلِكِ النَّاسِ

إِلَٰهِ النَّاسِ

مِن شَرِّ الْوَسْوَاسِ الْخَنَّاسِ

الَّذِي يُوَسْوِسُ فِي صُدُورِ النَّاسِ

مِنَ الْجِنَّةِ وَالنَّاسِ

 

Say (O Beloved (peace be upon you)),

“I seek refuge in the Lord of Mankind,

The King of Mankind,

The God of Mankind,

from the evil of The Whisperer, the one who withdraws (after his whisper),

who whispers in the hearts of Mankind,

from the Jinn and Mankind.”

Surah An-Nas, Verses 1-6

 

In contrast in this Surah, Allah asks Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) to seek refuge invoking Allah’s Name three time; Rab-in Naas, Malik-in Naas, Ilahi-in Naas, the Lord of Mankind, the King of Mankind, The God of Mankind. And from what? From the evil of The Whisperer, the one who withdraws (after his whisper). One thing; Iblis. Three invocations to safeguard ourselves from one being. Do you notice the difference?

So why is that?

 

It is so we understand that Iblis has the strongest hold over us, the greatest power to propel us towards misguidance, towards our destruction. Our nafs listens to him constantly, is influenced by him constantly, is obedient to him constantly.

In order to protect ourselves from this evil, we have to turn towards Allah as our Rab, the one who raises us from when we are small, to our Malik, The One who teaches us how to be when we are mid-life and our Ilahi, who is The One we worship with increased intensity when we are old. Meaning that throughout our existence, we cannot be safe from Iblis for even a single moment, without invoking Allah’s Help and Mercy upon us.”

 

I felt blown away.

 

On that day in Portland I remembered Qari Sahib’s words. It was so clear and disturbing to realize how Iblis had attacked so silently and I had let him ravage me. I thought hard about it, my behaviour, specifically why I took money from someone when I had my own. Why did I think it was owed to me? Was it my ujrat, price, for the silence? I never quite reached an answer but at least I knew now it was wrong. In that silence, I had not even said anything to my brother regarding other people in Lahore who were relying on him.

 

Finally I broke the silence and wrote him a letter.

 

In it I said everything I wanted to say on Day One. But I said it kindly, not condescendingly, not authoritatively. I said it gently, not harshly. I said it humbly because I had been no different from him. I could not get over that for the life of me. He had been tense so I had been tense. He had been curt so I had been cold. He had been tightly wound so I had not relaxed. And almost all of the trip was over.

 

Then something happened that broke the spell. Everything shattered because by chance he felt a moment of happiness.

It was a regular morning. I was hanging out with my niece in our room. Suddenly he walked in beaming. It was something work related, I didn’t even ask what. He just announced that something “great” happened and then he hugged me. He had only done that at the airport when he seemed genuinely happy to see me.

 

I had not been able to get a second hug in on my own. I would think about it all the time, every single day in fact but it just didn’t happen. I literally couldn’t get physically close to him. He didn’t allow it. When I went to his room hoping to hang out, he always said he had a call to make or shower or change. He always wanted other people around.

 

But the real shift that came to me, for me, that was the sign that I was under someone’s nazar, eye, that someone on the other side knew I was struggling and wanted to be forgiven, came from the skies. And it came in the shape of a moon.

 

The first moon and not just any first moon either. It was the moon of the first of Muharram, the new year, the one that comes marking pain and sadness.

 

I had been on the patio trying to catch the color of the skies after the sunset which I almost always missed because it set after 9. I was always home by then. Then my eyes wandered and I saw it. I almost didn’t believe my eyes. That perfect sliver, bright, low, staring at me like it waited for me. I never catch the first moon in Lahore no matter how long I spend driving around looking for it.

 

That night at Isha’ I was euphoric. And then I saw even more clearly what I had been doing wrong.

 

فَإِذَا قَرَأْتَ ٱلْقُرْءَانَ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ

إِنَّهُۥ لَيْسَ لَهُۥ سُلْطَـٰنٌ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَلَىٰ رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ

إِنَّمَا سُلْطَـٰنُهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ يَتَوَلَّوْنَهُۥ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُم بِهِۦ مُشْرِكُونَ

 

So when you recite the Quran, seek refuge in Allah from the Shaitaan, the accursed.

Indeed not for him is any authority over those who attain to faith

and upon their Lord they put their trust.

He has power only over those who ally themselves with him following him.

And those who because of him associate others with God.

Surah An Nahl, Verse 98-100

 

I was checking the list on everything wrong. I was not relying on God and Iblis was dancing all over my heart like it was a grave. The grave of my soul because it was dead and I had killed it! But now finally I relaxed. I accepted my reprieve with joy and I shed my sin. I didn’t know the next few days I would be made to learn only more about it so it would be ingrained in me what I had done wrong so perhaps I would not repeat the mistake again.

 

Muharram began and I tried to listen to Uzair’s lectures which were happening on a daily basis. In one of them, he recited the following verse;

 

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ

قَدْ جَآءَتْكُم مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَشِفَآءٌ لِّمَا فِى ٱلصُّدُور

وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

 

O Mankind!

 

Verily has come to you an instruction from your Lord, and a healing for what (ill) is in your breasts, and guidance and mercy for the believers.

Surah Yunus, Verse 57

 

I called Qari Sahib from the States to understand the verse. How could I not? The verse was not for me, it was for all of Mankind. And the shifa’, cure, I needed to know what the effect of it was because it was promised.

 

Every word spoke to me. I was the one who had forgotten, was asleep, unaware!

 

Ya Ayyuhan Naas: O you who have forgotten your original purpose and your true abode i.e. Heaven.

 

Qad Ja’akum: the Quran has come to awaken you and make you aware

 

Muwaddatun: and admonish you

 

Min Rabbikum wa shifa ul lima fi sadoor: and cure you of your grudges and heal you of your unhealthy thoughts that are resident in your hearts.

 

Wa huda-n: And it guides even those who are of exalted status and have arrived before Tauheed.

 

Wa Rahmatun: And it consists of abundance of mercy which includes specifically

 

Lil Momineen: the people who are righteous and mindful. So it is upon you to take warning and obey its commands. And ponder upon its secrets and its signs and deeply consider its keys and how it dawns upon you, until you unveil from it according to your capacity and capability to explore it. And Allah is The True Guide towards His Essence for whom He wills from His Servants. He prevails over everything and He is Dominant and Wise.

 

From the beginning of my arrival, I was trying to get my niece to read some books I had brought on different prophets written especially for children. They focused on their stories as specifically mentioned in the Quran.

 

Sometimes I would sit with her and other times, I would read my own book and have her read out loud. One day when she was reading the story about Hazrat Musa (as), she came to a part of Pharoah which I knew nothing about; his background. Everyone I knew only spoke of his days as King of Egypt. But who was he before that?

 

“Pharoah was a poor, jobless and unsuccessful individual living in the city of Isphan in Iran. He had borrowed a lot of money from different people and was unable to pay his debt. The money lenders would demand payment but he had nothing to give them. Thus he was living a miserable life.”

 

OMG!

 

“Pharaoh had a keen interest in palmistry and astrology and would often consult about his fate and future. One of the astrologers advised him to migrate to Egypt as it would bring him honour, luck and fortune. He decided to follow the advice with the meager amount he had. He found that the people of Egypt loved melons.

 

From a village he bought some melons to start a profitable business. As he entered Egypt, he was confronted by corrupt officials who demanded illegal taxes on the melons. Pharoah had no money to pay the taxes so all the melons were confiscated. He submitted a complaint to the Emperor’s court but it was not forwarded.

 

At that time a deadly plague broke out in the city resulting in many deaths. Pharoah chalked out a plan. He reached the graveyard and demanded tax of the dead bodies. Thinking it to be official, people paid the tax as corruption was rampant in the country. As luck would have it, one of the bodies was that of a relative of a high official in the court.

 

Pharoah was taken to the King’s court for demanding illegal taxes. He informed the King about the corrupt practices in his kingdom. The King punished the officials and appointed Pharoah as a courtier. Pharoah’s treatment of the people was exemplary and with his intellect, he rose to the highest position. Soon he became all powerful and proclaimed himself king and insisted that the people prostrate before him.”

 

The ego is the python that can even swallow itself whole! And this is exactly where I was at;

 

لَهُم مِّن جَهَنَّمَ مِهَادٌ وَمِن فَوْقِهِمْ غَوَاشٍ ۚ

وَكَذَٰلِكَ نَجْزِى ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ

 

Hell will be their resting place and their covering as well.

And this is how we recompense the wrong doers.

Surah Al-Araaf, Ayaat 41

 

And of course the hell was right here in this world!

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Lahum min jahannama: Hell is the torture of Imkaan, possibility which is doubt

 

Mihaad: and they will burn in these fires of their false desires.

 

Wa min fauqihim ghiwash: They will be covered with the fires of their power and wealth and claims of being great and possessing abundance.

 

Wa ka daalika najzi ad-dualimeen: And the zalimeen, the ones who transgress the boundaries of Allah due to their nafs, who are unjust, will drown in the addiction of their senses, their paranoia and their delusion.

 

All that time I ignored my heart’s call, I had turned away from love from my soul. It answered my question of how others turn their backs to love? Those wonderings I used to have; do they even feel badly about it? In those thoughts I was judging them and so I had been made to stand exactly where they stood. It definitely ended the inquisitiveness that seemed so natural. My nafs was no different from their nafs in being punishing. My torture no different from theirs when it created doubt.

 

I thought about the moon and why it I saw its shortest of appearance marking the start of the most honored of months. There was a prayer I had started saying recently in Lahore after every Namaz. Three times! I had read that a Companion used to recite it three times after every prayer and Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) liked that so much, he kissed him on his forehead.

 

I had even studied it with Qari Sahib before leaving just to understand it more deeply. It began to dawn on me, it was this prayer that I never stopped uttering throughout my debacle, that had come to save me.

 

لَقَدْ جَآءَكُمْ رَسُولٌ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ

عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُم بِٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ

فَإِن تَوَلَّوْا۟ فَقُلْ حَسْبِىَ ٱللَّهُ لَآ إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ۖ

عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ ۖ

وَهُوَ رَبُّ ٱلْعَرْشِ ٱلْعَظِيمِ

 

Certainly, has come to you a Messenger from yourselves.

Grievous to him is what you suffer,

he is concerned over you,

to the believers he is kind and merciful.

Surah At-Tauba – Verse 128

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Laqad Ja’akum: O bedouins!

 

Rasoolun: the Messenger has come with miracles open and signs clear, that will be created.

 

Min An fusakum: Raised from amongst you is he who has intense love and mercy for you.

 

Aziz-un: Heavy is the burden

 

Alyihi: upon him (peace be upon him)

 

Ma annit-tum: of that which pains you and brings you suffering.

 

And when you come across that which he did not find favourable for you because it was from the signs of kufr, ingratitude

 

and shirk, fears and hopes associated with others.

 

And the absence of obedience and the absence of submission to the Commands of Allah and that which was forbidden to you.

 

Despite this;

 

Harsees un: Surely he is eager for your faith and submission and correction of your state because he is

 

Bil Momineen: with the the ones with certainty, the ones who believe in the One-ness of Allah and the ones who are sincere,

 

Rauf-un: Most kind and full of affection,

 

Raheem-un: he feels mercy for them and is well pleased with them due to their coming out from the darkness of the denial of Truth and ingratitude towards the light of faith and submission.

 

I read the translation of one word over and over;

 

Ma annit-tum: of that which pains you and brings you suffering.

 

And when you come across that which he did not find favourable for you because it was from the signs of kufr, ingratitude

 

and shirk, fears and hopes associated with others.

And the absence of obedience and the absence of submission to the Commands of Allah and that which was forbidden to you.

 

On one of my last days on the coast when I was by myself, I went to the beach and just sat on a rock in the sand. I dug my heels into it and stretched and then picking up a pebble, I wrote the words; “Please forget I did it all, Ya Rabbi!”

 

It made me think of the movie Hollywood made in 2004 about the erasing of disturbing memories; Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. It was prophetic of course. The idea of erasing that which is regretful is now a scientific possibility, yet another to perverse the nature of things. Mistakes are made and can be forgotten but not erased by like they never happened except by God who changes them to good deeds for whom He wills. Without the acknowledgment on our end, there is no reformation, only a repeat of patterns.

 

Still, on that day, in the sand, I wished for things to be erased.

 

Starting at zero is not a problem in spirituality. Hitting the reset button as many times as possible is actually a good thing. It’s not a moment of despair. It’s not a moment of jubilance either but it still marks movement and the trajectory slopes upwards.

 

But sometimes the acts are disappointing to one’s own self because the consequences of it were seen. They were known. They were told. When despite that, the step is taken, the disobedience marked with such terrible willfulness, that there is a deepness of regret and disappointment that cannot be fathomed.

 

And still, the Mercy of Allah and His Friends is deeper so that even such a dark moment is pierced by light.

 

‘So Iblis said to God Almighty, “Oh my Lord, you wrote in my destiny that I not prostrate and now you order me to do so.”

 

And he was told, “When did you know that I didn’t want you to bow down, after I ordered it or before?

 

For if it was before My Command then even your refusal will not harm you but if it was after, then you and an animal are one and the same.”

 

…The whole span of the soul’s spiritual itinerary is contained within this exchange...’

 

And one sentence let me unhook myself from a place where I wanted to be castigated to no end.

 

For if it was before My Command then even your refusal will not harm you…for I knew what I was doing wrong before I was doing it!

 

Then my trip got delayed. It was a blessing in disguise. I was left alone for a week and I got a chance to write this piece which I otherwise might have never written. I was so ashamed. I was alone for all of seven days. I read. I discovered a river. I took in the sun, dipped my feet in water and stared at rocks beneath it.

 

There was a homeless guy living there that I had met already in town. That was surprising, to run into him there. It gave me the chance to take him fresh food a few times. His name was Sam. Which is short for my niece’s name Sameena and the name I use when waiting in line for something. He was the third homeless man we had met that summer whose name was Sam. My niece was counting.

 

We had met one of them, a young man in his 20s, at a pizza joint in the Pearl. It was a sure spot to find someone to feed. On one such day when we got there I saw a man standing next to a cart the homeless use for their stuff.

 

He was in a lousy mood. He looked surly and kept shouting at this woman with him. She had a cart too. I was a little hesitant to approach him in case he yelled at me too but then walked up to him.

 

“Hey man,” I said softly. “Can I get you something to eat? From this pizza joint?”

 

He paused for a second then said, “Sure.”

 

“What would you like?” I asked, relieved.

 

It’s always pepperoni which always makes me wince but then he wasn’t Muslim. I asked him if the woman who was now on the other side of the street might want something too. She said yes.

 

My niece and I got the food and some drinks and took them over. He smiled and thanked me. He seemed calmer. He gave the other box to the woman even speaking to her nicely. As my niece and I walked away, I said to her, “See Lou, sometimes people just need a break from their hard lives. And when someone is kind to them, they soften just like the man did. In an instant. He was even nice to his friend.”

 

She listened seriously and nodded. I love that about her. I can’t get her to listen to me when I want her to open a book or sleep but when I speak to her about other people and she sees them up close, their reactions, she observes them keenly. I know she observes me keenly.

 

A few times while we were on the coast and in the city, I would tell her to come with me while I looked for someone to give food to. She always said yes. A few times in a row, as I pulled up towards a homeless person I would have to give money to because there was no food around, I would say out loud whilst thinking to myself, “Oh man, I hope they won’t use it for drugs.”

 

On every occasion that I did that, it must have happened at least four times, the person was stone cold sober and super nice. Friendly, grateful, gracious, almost innocent.

 

After the third time she said to me with a chiding tone, “Mony, you keep thinking bad things about the people and they’re always not like that.”

 

I smiled embarrassed, actually glad that she called me out on it.

 

“I know,” I said looking at her in the rear view mirror. “I know Lulu. It’s not nice of me to do that. I don’t even know why I’m doing it.”

 

Then I turned around and with a huge grin on my finger pointing at my skull, I said, “Actually, I do know. I’m sick in the head!”

 

She burst out laughing.

 

Almost always I try to have her carry the food and give it. Take the money from my hand and place it in theirs. I want her to hear the way they express such deep gratitude for the tiniest act. How they always bless us. How they always invoke God. How they never want anything specific. How they never ask for more than is offered. How they express such surprise the offer is made at all. These will be the reasons she will do it all her life when she is older. If there ever was something that will bring her God’s Pleasure at the earliest age possible, it will be this act; pleasing a needy person.

 

In that last week of solitude, I had left my Ipod in Portland in a jacket so I was without music. That meant for drives, I listened to Uzair’s lectures. In one of them he spoke about how no one knew the essence of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) except Allah Alone. It was expressed in a hadith to Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu).

 

لم یعلمنی حقیقۃ غیر ربی

 

There is no one who knows my reality except my Lord.

 

Like Allah, he too was a secret that only love for him could unveil.

 

In the lecture, Uzair said that the Companions would eagerly await the Sharia’. They wanted to know what the rules and laws were going to be so they could follow them and become maqbool, those accepted by Allah. But the Sufis say that it was the Sharia’ that waited for Akmal Ar-Rasool, the Prophet who completed Prophet-hood (peace be upon him), to do something so that the act would allow it to take form.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

In those days, I read in Al-Fath Ar Rabbani that there are two types of Masters; the Masters of Jurisprudence (Mashaikh e Sharia’) and the Masters of Recognition of God (Mashakih e Marifat).

 

“The first will bring you to the door of Creation. The second will show you the way towards Allah. You will need to enter both doors; the door of Creation and the door of The Creator. Without going through the first one, you will not even see the second.

 

Take the world out of your heart so entry into the Afterlife is bestowed to you. These are ranks one after the other and they are diametrically opposite to each other. Dependence on creation is the opposite of Recognition of God. They will never co-exist and you will get neither. Unless the heart is empty of all, you are leaving an idol in it. Break the idols, purify the heart and then you will see that which you have never seen.”

 

Uzair explained the exact same thing in a lecture in a single sentence by Imam Malik, one of the four Masters of Jurisprudence, Fiqh which is “the science of understanding and ascertaining the precise terms and practices of the Sharia’ in Islam.”

 

من تفقه ولم يتصوف فقد تفسق

ومن تصوف ولم يتفقه فقد تزندق

ومن جمع بينهما فقد تحقق

 

The one who follows Fiqh, Islamic Jurisprudence, but does not purify the heart,

so indeed he becomes of the defiantly disobedient.

The one who purifies the heart and ignores the laws of Jurisprudence,

he becomes a disbeliever.

And the one who gathers them both, indeed he attains certainty and arrives at the truth.

 

As someone who knows little about Islamic Jurisprudence and only hears negative things about it in Pakistan because they are all not do-able for the mod squad, I was amazed at the words the Imam used. Without Sharia’, I would become a heretic? It was stunning. And the one who thought they were following every law to the tee but left tasawuff, spirituality as taught by the Sufis who taught one how to purify the heart, out was in fact the one who would become disobedient. A fasiq, like Iblis!

 

The curve balls that life throws at you will never end. I guess if they did then where would the growth come from. Only in my regression do I remember how deeply imperfect I am. Otherwise to be honest, my life in Lahore, is like I live in a cave. I wish it was a cave. And I was like the Ashab e Kahf.

 

“Make yourself like a corpse before your Lord,” Ghaus Pak (ra) says. “Like a corpse is in the hands of the one who bathes it.

Turns it left and turns it right. Without existence, without planning, without choice. Stand with faith and certainty before that which comes to you from Him. The only thing that remains in the face of taqdeer, that which has been ordained for you, is Imaan, faith.

 

Close the doors of asking people and open the door of only asking God. Remember that if Allah wants creation to being harm upon you, they will bring you harm. And if He wants them to bring you benefit, only then will they benefit you. For their hearts are working according to His Will and He will make them hard or soft. He gives life and gives death. He gives or not gives. He grants you respect and He gives to you humiliation. He gives you illness and He gives you health. He gives you nourishment and He leaves you to be hungry. He is The First and The Last and The Overt and The Hidden!”

 

Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) says that there is a way to everything and the way to Paradise is ilm, knowledge. The Sufis say that the only Paradise is proximity to his person. It is what every single thing in creation asked for of him when they had the opportunity to present that ask; mountains, trees, animals (of this realm and the others), humans. And when it comes to the pursuit of knowledge, in the Quran lie the keys that Allah refers to in the verse;

 

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ

قَدْ جَآءَتْكُم مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَشِفَآءٌ لِّمَا فِى ٱلصُّدُور

وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

 

O Mankind!

Verily has come to you an instruction from your Lord, and a healing for what (ill) is in your breasts, and guidance and mercy for the believers.

Surah Yunus, Verse 57

 

“So it is upon you to take warning and obey its commands. And ponder upon its secrets and its signs and deeply consider its keys and how it dawns upon you, until you unveil from it according to your capacity and capability to explore it.”

 

Nabi Pak (peace be upon him) said in the most well known hadith;

 

اَنَا مَدِيْنَةُ الْعِلْمِ وَ عَلِيٌ بَابُهَا

فَمَنْ اَرَادَ الْعِلْمَ فَلْیَاْتِهَا مِنْ بَابِهَا

 

“I am the city of knowledge and Ali is the door to enter it

so the one who desires knowledge should come through this door.”

 

The Imam is the door that all Spiritual Masters and spirituality stands at the foot of!

 

In that last week, I went to the river I had found again and again. The second time I went, even Sam wasn’t there. I had seen him cycling into town on the highway and turned the car around to get to the other side to say hi. I had gotten him a sandwich and it was meat so if I hadn’t seen him, it would have gone to waste. Or at least eaten cold by someone hours later.

 

On the way to the river, I saw a man with an extremely old truck pulled over on the side of the one lane highway that went towards Portland. He had jumper cables in his hand so clearly his battery was dead. As I zipped passed him I wondered if someone would actually stop to help him. It was a sunny Sunday. People were either coming to the coast in droves or leaving to get back to the city early.

 

I turned the car around and went back to where he was. I brought the car to face him so my engine was in front of his.

 

Stepping out of the car I said, “Hey man! I don’t know anything about how to do it but if you want to use my battery,” and I opened the hood, “here it is.”

 

He lifted it but neither of us could find the lever that would hold the bonnet up. He asked me to start his car while he fiddled with something in his engine but it didn’t start. There was a little dog running around and the truck was filled with bags. It looked like he was living in it.

 

“It’s ok,” he said finally giving up and instead asked, “Can you give me a lift to my camp site?”

 

“Ummmm,” the usual thought emerged from my mental head, my germophobe OCD kicking in. I just stared him for long enough that he said, not begrudgingly at all. “It’s alright.

Someone else will come along.”

 

“Will they?” my heart asked me. It was like I froze and just stood there.

 

“I got the shot,” he said possibly thinking my hesitation was rooted in being scared because of COVID.

 

“Shot?” I echoed, then thought Oh, Pfizer!

 

“Yeah,” I remarked. “I don’t really care about that man.”

It was true. I was still sailing on the “jiss to hona hai uss to hona hai” boat because that’s exactly how I was seeing it play out. Totally randomly! Plus he seemed more concerned about my well-being than some of my friends who were vaccinated & had clearly lost their minds living in seclusion for too many months in their homes.

 

I went and sat in my car but didn’t turn the engine on to leave. After a couple of minutes of working my way through my paranoia, knowing I was being an ass, I spoke.

 

“You know what,” finally the words came out, “I’ll drop you at your site. Where did you say it was again?”

 

“Four miles down the road,” he said. “I just have my bags and food and ice-box,” he said walking to the back of his truck.

 

I piled his stuff in the trunk of the jeep. The man got into the car and we started speaking. He told me he lived in South East Portland but was thinking of coming to the coast. He camped there every summer for a couple of months. It wasn’t the first time he had car trouble.

 

Then for some reason he mentioned he had been in and out of jail his whole life.

 

“Oh,” I said with deep sympathy. “Why?”

 

“DUIs,” he said. And I realized he was a little inebriated even now.

 

Exactly four miles out came his spot. He got out and I helped him with the bags. I even offered to take them to the site but he declined. He was probably in his 50s. My age. But he looked older as poor people do.

 

I went back to the river and walked over to where Sam lived. There was a campfire, a sleeping bag, a log that served as a pillow and to lean his back on. There was a jar of coffee, some cocoa, some other bag that looked like it had ziplocks in it. That’s it.

 

The log that was the pillow reminded me of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). He had a rock that was a pillow. He chose to rest his head on it.

 

On the coast the day could be very sunny but the nights were always cold. And it was still August. What did Sam do in the winter, I thought? What did any homeless person do?

 

The whole thing reminded me of Huzoor Nizam Pak (ra) again, who was bestowed the title Mehbooh e Ilahi, the one beloved to God. I had quoted the story often in my writings. His not eating any delicious and being asked about it.

 

Mehboob e Ilahi (ra) had softly replied, “I do and I know I can whenever I want. But then when such food is placed before me, I can’t stop thinking about the ones who roam the Earth hungry and homeless, forgotten by the world and I can’t bring myself to swallow a single bite.”

 

Luckily I was able to see Sam one more time. I got everything I could think he might need and brought my niece. She had met him once and loved talking to him. He was so gentle.

 

That last afternoon we sat and talked a lot together. He told us he liked drawing the pictures he saw in stars. One of them he called The King of Angels.

 

"Maybe its Gabriel (as)," I said.

 

He nodded. "Maybe it is."

 

Then he told us how he had been picking nails and pointy stones off roads so that they would not hurt anyone.

 

"I think I got lucky because of that," he said thoughtfully looking at the ground. "Cause I have been eating some good food lately."

 

I was dying to tell him of the hadith of Nabi Kareem (saw) about the exact act - “While a man was walking in the road, he found a thorny branch in the road and he moved it aside. Allah appreciated his deed and forgave him” - but just looked at him. Then when we got up to leave, he got up too and hugged us both.

 

"Thank you for being my friends," he said.

 

As I turned away, i started crying. I was so sad to say bye. My niece followed me. Seeing my wipe my eyes, she placed her little hand softly on my shoulder, "It's ok Mony," she said her eyes wet. "Maybe you'll see him again soon."

 

We waded in the water some more then went home. That was how the coast trip ended.

 

In the end I left my brother with nothing really changed between us but on the last day he was soft too. But I already knew, the ordinary never really change anyone anyway, except perhaps momentarily. What they do is make an offering of love. If accepted it is light that penetrates darkness for as long as the other wants it to. That’s about it. But love is the only opening. That opening came for me this summer in a verse, in my silence, in some tears and in the moon.

 

The truth is it comes for anyone who longs for it. All kinds of prayers can be denied or remain unanswered, almost always because, for some reason or another, they’re the wrong ask anyway, but I have found that love from those connected to God is an absolute sure thing. They never abandon you.

 

I will be ending the trip without that halo on my head, that’s for sure. Instead I leave reaching a different goal that my ego never even imagined; being the worst of all. It doesn’t sound like something to be happy about per se but it is. For it ensures one thing; the silence that was so hard for me to practice might become easier. On the Day of Judgment, all the Prophets will decline the people’s requests to intercede for them before Allah because of a single mistake they made in a lifetime. And they didn’t even have free will!

 

I didn’t know I had idols in my heart in Lahore. I had to come to another country to see them. As disturbing as that vision was, it presented an opportunity for me to shatter them. With them, I had to shatter too. Deeds will have to begin from zero again. And who knows maybe this time round, they will finally be soaked in sincerity.

 

“Strive to attain certainty for verily you have attained to faith,

repent and express that you are sorry and regret,

and weep tears that stream down your cheeks,

for this crying in the fear of disappointing Allah douses the fires of your sins

and extinguishes His Wrath.

When your heart truly atones, then without doubt,

the nur, light, of the sincere repentance will appear upon your face

making it lit!

Ghaus Pak

Continued from: flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51724658100/in/dateposted-...

 

And overall: He, himself, is a witness upon his own denial and ungratefulness and his shirk, the association of others with Allah and his oppression, until the time that effect of his transgressions appear upon his self.”

 

On my way to Lahore my driver who was now leaving spent the hours spilling beans on other staff while I sat in the car dumbfounded. When I returned, I didn’t say a word to the guilty parties. I changed some things around, they reacted with guilt. I ignored it. Working somewhere or not was entirely someone’s prerogative. As difficult as my life might be for a little when a trained person left, anyone new could be taught anything. It wasn’t rocket science! Inside the house was harder than outside but far from impossible.

 

Still, I was amazed anger had not risen in me yet. Or even disappointment. The person in question had worked for my mother when I was a child and for me for the last several years. I thanked God for that absence in my prayers. Then the next day I spent too much time thinking of what I wanted to say and when was the appropriate timing for it. So much time that I knew a whispering had entered my breast and my nafs had taken flight with it.

 

On the third day back in the morning I received an email from a friend’s husband in Scotland and in it was hadith below something he had painted.

 

عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ

يَسِّرُوا وَلَا تُعَسِّرُوا وَبَشِّرُوا وَلَا تُنَفِّرُوا

 

The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

“Make things easy for people and don’t make them difficult for them. Give them happiness and don’t give them cause to turn away.”

 

And that was it! I thought about the Friends of God who were given that status because they were bestowed a gaze; the gaze of The Beloved (peace be upon him) in their following of him that was perfect. The hadith lifted my heart. I hadn’t had the conversation with the staff yet.

 

It also made me think of my “loved ones” who were nowhere to be found. If I were to be truthful I knew this much. That when they did appear I wanted them to feel humiliation. It wasn’t in revenge for the humiliation they made me feel but everything that came to my mind that I wanted to say was, ultimately, harsh, even if spoken softly, gravely, thoughtfully. It was a layer of deception upon a layer of deception.

 

The morning I read the hadith I played table tennis in the park for the first time after the village. The weather was glorious although a tad windy. Still, the game was spectacular. My coach and I always played a best of seven in the end. On my best days, I got a game off him. On this day, I beat him 4-3. I was literally jumping up and down on the court while he made jokes that he was the butt of.

 

While walking to the car I mentioned the whole staff debacle to Shaan. I worded my words super carefully, knowing extremely well from past experience that the moment I uttered a negative word, I would lose him. I came at him from all angles. I was pleasant in my tone, that part was natural, because I wasn’t angry as such. Mostly still in a state of surprise. Each time Shaan said the same thing back to me.

 

“It’s not a big deal, Ma’am.” I hated that he was still calling me that. “They all work hard. They get tired. I will try to be a good kid and make things easier for them.”

 

It wasn’t even about him! I tried to tell him that but that’s all he seemed to focus on. And I realized what was happening. I told him someone was acting like a nut, spinning out of control with their tongue and his response was that if there was a way for him to make their life easier, he would attempt it.

 

Shaan played out the hadith in three minutes, the one I was swooning over a couple of hours earlier and entirely unable to put any of which into practice. That disconnect between what appeals to my heart and my incapability to actually do it stuns me.

 

It was reiterated for me how Shaan was a gift for my heart, one that I will never know what I did to deserve. He shows and speaks and does what I read and listen and write about. I guess the Powers that be of the Universe decided it was the only way something might actually penetrate my being. I had to see it.

 

Through my New Yorkers in the village, I had been seeing the appearances of patterns in the new generations. Most prominently I was reading about Gen Z through their eyes. The peculiarities were fascinating. For instance and I quote from the section Talk of the Town:

 

“Gen Z considers emojis to be millennial.

 

Periods (full-stops in the East) in a text are microaggressions.

 

In the ever increasing spectrum of sexuality are now “skoliosexuals.” (I didn’t have time to Google that.)

 

One in six Gen Z adults now identifies as L.G.B.T.

 

Almost everyone in a high school cast on HBO is queer. (But I remember that started with Glee a decade ago).

 

Gen Z don’t want to be pigeon holed or categorized but they also want to be labeled and identified correctly.”

 

Hmmmmm.

 

“In their generation, there is an increasing prevalence of what is called ‘main character syndrome,’ in which teens behave in a way which causes their peers to say, ‘You’re not the main character.’”

 

Ok, so at least we establish, everyone’s, in some way or another, on a show in their head!

 

I wondered what that meant for Gen-Zers in the context of the hadith that made me think about my niece even more than I did otherwise;

 

''Learning something during one's youth is like engraving in stone,

and learning something when one is old is like writing on the surface of water.’’

 

There was also nothing that was going to be illegal as far as drugs. Which was surprising given that if one was a moderate user of weed in the 90’s, the drinkers of alcohol looked at them like there were addicts. Now they all wanted a Marijuana-laced gummy bear. They also considered treating their neurosis with LSD and Magic Mushrooms. Two states had decriminalized the possession of heroin in small quantities.

 

I had always wondered how that happened, why that happened. Why things were one way forever and suddenly they were the opposite. I learnt the reason of all places from a piece on Mike Nichols, “Who was Mike Nichols when he wasn’t playing Mike Nichols?” I had been watching on show after show on HBO and movies in general how full front male nudity had become totally mainstreamed and it was bewildering.

 

“In 1930 the Motion Picture Production Code was adopted as a system of self-regulation. Apparently it was revised every decade but lagged far behind what the article called “educated taste,” mostly coming from French Cinema which was “more racier and more explicit.”

 

In 1962 Nichols was offered the job of directing Edward Albee’s play “Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?” The problem was “some of the language – screw, monkey-nipples, hump the hostess – and so on were Code-averse. Luckily for Warner Bros., Jack Valenti had just become the president of the Motion Picture Association of America, and was determined to replace the Code.

 

So when the Production Code Administration voted to deny approval to “Virginia Woolf,” the M.P.A.A. overruled it…Jackie Kennedy persuaded the National Catholic Office for Motion Pictures to “bless” the movie by invoking her husband and how much he would have enjoyed it. Two years later the Production Code was replaced by the ratings system.”

 

In my decades of perusing the news I had never before come across anything that spoke to why we had landed where we were today. And there it was, all the changes that altered, no completely redefined, the platform came down to one rich person here and one powerful person there. The same story every time everywhere!

 

Marriage, aside from who the partners were, was a dying institution on top of being railed as a “failed” one because it was becoming unrecognizable. For me, as a single person who doesn’t care about who is allowed it or not, the problem emerged with the subversive introduction, again in programming and movies, around the concept of fidelity.

 

The language changed from polyamory to what I came across just recently: ethical non-monogamy and was covered by parading the “success” stories of 3-4 couples on everything from Cosmopolitan to the BBC. First the kids were being told they should sleep with everything that moves and think nothing of it. Then if they did find someone they loved or wanted to love, they would need to create a WhatsApp group for that too.

 

The Pope had recently said, following the resignation of a Paris archbishop, who quit over a relationship with a woman earlier this month, “Sins of the flesh are not the most serious.” He meant that pride and hate were worse. Mainstream media went with the lines they wanted to push the agenda they sought.

 

At which point I had to include in this piece a verse I had no intention of adding:

 

ٱلَّذِينَ يَتَّبِعُونَ ٱلرَّسُولَ ٱلنَّبِىَّ ٱلْأُمِّىَّ

ٱلَّذِى يَجِدُونَهُۥ مَكْتُوبًا عِندَهُمْ فِى ٱلتَّوْرَىٰةِ وَٱلْإِنجِيلِ يَأْمُرُهُم بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ

وَيَنْهَىٰهُمْ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ وَيُحِلُّ لَهُمُ ٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ

وَيُحَرِّمُ عَلَيْهِمُ ٱلْخَبَـٰٓئِثَ وَيَضَعُ عَنْهُمْ إِصْرَهُمْ وَٱلْأَغْلَـٰلَ ٱلَّتِى كَانَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ

فَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِهِۦ وَعَزَّرُوهُ وَنَصَرُوهُ وَٱتَّبَعُوا۟ ٱلنُّورَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أُنزِلَ مَعَهُۥٓ ۙ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

 

Those who follow the Messenger, the Ummiyy Prophet (peace be upon him) whom they find written with them in the Torah and the Injīl ,

and who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair,

and makes lawful for them good things,

and makes unlawful for them impure things,

and relieves them of their burden, and of the shackles that were upon them.

So, those who believe in him and support him, and help him and follow the light sent down with him, - those are the ones who are successful.

Surah Al Ara-zaf, Verse 157

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wahum: And they are…

 

Alladina yatti’buna As Rasool: the ones who follow the Messenger (peace be upon him), the one who was sent with the Essence of One-ness (Al Mursil bi Tauheed)…

 

An Nabiyya: the Prophet, Al Mutammim li mukarim il akhlaq, the one who was sent to complete the nobleness of manners (upon Allah’s Akhlaq, His Attributes)…

 

Al Ummiya: the one who is Al Muttahaqiq, the one who was made inevitable, Al Makhsoos, the who was made uniquely special with Ilm il Luduni, the Divine Knowledge, which was taught to him from his Lord without acquisition (from other means), without effort, without any formal training from any teacher, and he is…

 

Alladi yajidoonahu: who they find in all of the books of the faiths…

 

Maktooban: written about in those books, about his being sent and his religion and his name and his appearance and all of his attributes…

 

Ayndahum fi Torat wal Ineel: in the Torat and in the Injeel, Bible, that when he will announce his Prophet-hood…

 

Ya’monohum bil ma’roof and yanhahum ayn al munkir ya yahillu lahum tayyebaat: who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair, and makes lawful for them the good things, which they forbid upon their own selves…

 

Wa yuharrimu alaihum: and makes unlawful for them impure things, which they made lawful for themselves…

 

Wa aidan: And also…

 

Yada’u anhum israhum: relieves them of their loads i.e. the burdens which they carry by leaving the world and detaching from it, which was more than their strength to bear, just like they cut their bodily parts by which they sinned and just like they cut the cloth they wore if it became soiled and other than this…

 

Wa; he also made them free…

 

Al aghlaal: of their shackles i.e. the painful difficulties…

 

Allati kanat alaihim falladina aamino bihi: which came upon them. So those who believed in him, (the Messenger peace be upon him), when he was sent and gave his invitation (towards the One-ness of Allah)…

 

Wa azzaruhu: and they honoured him in the way that he was deserving of honour and glorification…

 

Wa nasaruhu: and they helped him, supporting him in his religion…

 

Wstaba’u an Noor: and they followed The Light, which is the Quran…

 

Alladi unzila ma’hu: which is sent with him from Allah to help him and to testify…

 

Ulaika: these are the ones who are the fortunate and radiant and accepted by Allah. They are the Al Muwwafiqoon, the ones given the ability to follow him.

 

Humul muflihoon: It is they who are the successful ones i.e. Al Muqassaroon, the ones who are confined by Him in success and triumph with victory.

 

It wasn’t a surprise why Gen Z was not interested in relationships or marriage. It sounded like a nightmare. And it wasn’t just in the West. Even in China that was trying to be the exact opposite in every single way to the US faced the same issue. Young Chinese were deciding at an early age not to marry and it wasn’t in small numbers:

 

Insider, October 11th, 2021; “That's according to a new survey of China's young urban population conducted by a wing of China's Communist Youth League. The survey polled 2,905 unmarried youths living in Chinese cities between the ages of 18 and 26. It found that 44% of its female respondents did not intend to get married, with a sizeable 25% of the survey's male respondents saying the same.

 

As for why these Chinese Gen Z-ers don't want to get hitched, 34.5% of those surveyed cited "not having the time or energy to get married." Meanwhile, 60.8% of the Chinese Gen Z-ers polled said they found it "difficult to find the right person.

Participants mentioned several other reasons for not getting married, including the financial cost of marriage and the economic burden of having children. A third of the respondents also said they did not believe in marriage, and a similar percentage said they had never been in love.”

 

No wonder every time they were surveyed on the idea of having a robot as a life companion they responded, “I would definitely consider it.” Who wouldn’t? On top of that the rapid emergence of virtual reality, the hard pusher of which was the fountainhead of evil, Meta previously Facebook, was going to end up in self-isolation for entire generations on a whole new level.

 

I had just started noticing the difference that isolation makes to a human being’s nature. I had cousins and friends who were always homebound. There was a time I was impressed by it because it kept them safe from so much wrong. But once they hit their 40s, I noticed how it was also making them aggressive or deeply unhappy and bitter. They were looping would-be scenarios in their heads all day or playing back the sadness of the past and it showed on their faces. They were either gray or stern.

 

Then when they emerged from that self-entrapping bubble with something as simple as a sport or daily physical exercise, a weekly visit to someone’s house, and stuck to it for just a month, their faces brightened. They were happy, they smiled and spoke about things other than themselves. They were different!

 

I had been wondering on and off in the village about the verses in the Quran I had translated from about the nature of Man; we were impulsive, hasty, ungrateful, oppressive, transgressors, weak, despairing, contentious with God, miserly.

 

It would make me sad, even dejected. But I was forgetting the lines that made us the Best of Creation:

 

‏لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَنَ فِىٓ أَحْسَنِ تَقْوِيمٍۢ ‎

 

And We created Man in the best mould

Surah Teen, Verse 4

 

And after Allah takes oaths all great, He says…

 

Laqad khalaqnal insaana: Indeed, We created all Mankind…

 

Fi ahsan e taqweem: in the best form and the most balanced proportions because no other Creation is created more perfectly in form than them and they are perfectly formed in terms of their zahir, overt and batin, inner being. For this reason, We chose Man for our Vice-Regency from amongst all of Our Creation.

 

‏ثُمَّ رَدَدْنَهُ أَسْفَلَ سَفِلِينَ ‎

 

Then We returned him to the lowest of the low,

Surah Teen, Verse 5

 

Summa: Then after this We willed differently, because of his wicked deeds…

 

Radadnahu: and returned him to the lowest of the low and we displaced him from that highest rank and that highest honour…

 

Asfala safeleen: to the lowest of the low and this is the set-up of the world, which causes them to to enter the valleys of fire and which is their chain of desires and which is their shackle of endless hopes.

 

‏إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّلِحَتِ فَلَهُمْ أَجْرٌ غَيْرُ مَمْنُونٍۢ ‎

 

Except those who believe and do righteous deeds, then for them is a reward never ending.

Surah Teen, Verse 5

 

Illaladina amino: Except for the ones who are certain of the One-ness of God…

 

Wa amilo salihaat: and do righteous deeds that are deeply sincere, free from all the entrapments of the world. Deeds that will bring them close to Allah’s Essence.

 

Qari Sahib emphasized that freedom from entrapments.

 

“It means that whatever you do, nothing and no one in the world can figure into your intention behind it. It has to be only and only about Allah, for Allah. That is the meaning of sincere.”

 

He was echoing Ghaus Pak:

 

“O you who seeks ilm, knowledge! Without amal, deed, there is no trust upon your knowledge and without ikhlaas, sincerity, there is no trust upon your deed. For it is like a body without a soul.

 

The symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people when they praise you nor when they are critical of you and and the symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people or the wealth that is in their hands.”

 

Fa lahum: So for them, after that when they reach (again) the highest ranks towards the Alim e Lahoot, the Realm of Allah…

 

Ajrun ghairu mamnoon: are endless blessings that will never finish and nor will Allah mention His Favour ever for giving them.

 

Here Qari Sahib pointed out that of the four types of rewards, ajr, the highest is ajrun ghairu mamnoon because it is the one that is bestowed to His Beloved (peace be upon him). And his followers receive it just for following him.

 

‏وَإِنَّ لَكَ لَأَجْرًا غَيْرَ مَمْنُونٍۢ ‎

 

And indeed, for you, O Beloved (peace be upon you), is surely a reward without end.

Surah Al Qalam, Verse 3

 

Then the day I finished this piece, I read a verse in the Quran which explained the order of things that I always lose sight of. So often the verses about evil and Allah’s Control over each and every thing create the impression that we are therefore faultless and should not be liable. But then I had already studied it. I had even titled it:

 

“The Wickedness and Goodness in Us.”

 

‏وَنَفْسٍۢ وَمَا سَوَّىٰهَا ‎

 

Consider the human spirit and who perfected it.

Surah Ash Shams, Verse 7

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa nafsin: Allah takes an oath upon the spirit that receives nourishment from His Names and Attributes, which is revealed in all forms which are named (by Him). The spirit comes into the organs (in these bodies), both higher (the angels) and lower (Mankind but not Jinn) so that everything can gain benefit from the remembrance of their origin and their true purpose of existence.

 

Wa ma sawaaha: And He takes an oath on Himself who made this spirit, meaning He made it moderate and created it as a compound fitted with the influences of the higher (heavenly) and the lower (earthly) elements.

 

فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَىٰهَا

‏قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّىٰهَا ‎

‏وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّىٰهَا ‎

 

And He inspired it (to distinguish) its wickedness and its righteousness.

Indeed, he succeeds who purifies it,

And indeed, he fails who buries it (in darkness).

Surah Ash Shams, Verse 8-10

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Fa alhamaha fujuraha wa taqwaha: So He inspired it (the nafs) to both, wickedness and mindfulness, according to that which is placed in it from the forces of heavens as well as of the Earth. Then He burdened it according to what it can bear so that the one who is truthful can be differentiated from the one who is false, and the astray from the guided, and the denier of Truth from the believer, completing the wisdom, which is rooted in certainty, which reaches the Essence of Allah and which reflects the Dominance of His Power.

 

Qad aflaha man zakkaha: Indeed he was successful and prosperous due to the success He prospered by receiving from Allah the highest ranks…

 

Man zakkaha: the one who cleansed his nafs from the vileness of the world and from the possibilities of the demands of its desires and its lusts.

 

Wa qad khaba: And he was in a loss and ruined himself…

 

Man dassaha: the one who prevented the nafs from reaching its higher level (from Ammara, corrupt to Mutma’inna, content) and made it wayward. He did this by persuading it to be disobedient and sinful, which was done due to the demands of its base nature, its lustful desires and the wickedness of the world. This persuasion is what makes it deserving of different kinds of losses and deprivation and humiliation.

 

Humiliation!

 

My coach seems manic. Shaan is on the spectrum. He’s likely an Aspie, a friend of mine who works with autistic kids told me. I thought it was interesting that two people were front and center in my life who were like that: so specific. One morning my coach was obliterating me in the game when Shaan strolled by. He asked the score.

 

“Almost 4-0,” I said with a grin. “But we have a winner-takes-all.” I looked at my teacher hopefully.

 

“We always have that,” he smiled.

 

Just as we were about to start that last game, I heard the call to prayer. I looked at Shaan and said, “Should we stop play?”

 

He smiled and shrugged. “It’s your choice.” Aap ki marzi hai.

 

I had seen him stop playing with his football in the park once, holding the ball in his hand, so I had walked over to ask what happened.

 

He had just pointed his finger at the sky.

 

“It’s the Azaan.”

 

Later I asked him why he didn’t play because of it.

 

“We only do one thing when the Azaan comes,” I said to him. We being the ones with some money. “No listening to music. That’s it! So do you do that out of adab, respect, not play?”

 

He just looked at me and said, “It’s the Azaan. And it was the Friday prayer,” with emphasis as if it made the answer obviously clear.

 

So on that day I said to my coach, “Sir lets pause play till the end of the Azaan.”

 

He agreed. Then I beat him and won the all of the day’s play. It was exhilarating. When we walked to the benches to get our stuff, I said to him, “I can’t believe I won that game sir.”

 

He looked over at me and said, “It’s the blessing you received because you showed respect for the Azaan.”

 

Qari Sahib asked our group class recently what came first. Ilm, knowledge or adab, manners? I was sure it was adab. Without manners nothing seemed to be bestowed to anyone. I raised my hand and answered.

 

“No,” he said. “Ilm comes first. The seeking of knowledge, the attaining of it.”

 

Then he recited the first four verses of Surah Rahman.

 

‏ٱلرَّحْمَنُ ‎

‏عَلَّمَ ٱلْقُرْءَانَ ‎

‏خَلَقَ ٱلْإِنسَنَ ‎

‏عَلَّمَهُ ٱلْبَيَانَ ‎

 

The Most Merciful,

He taught the Quran.

He created Man.

He then taught him speech.

Surah Ar Rahman, Verses 1-4

 

“First Allah bestowed the knowledge, then He says He created Man. That is the order.”

 

It was clear that the verses were specific to Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him), the first creation. Al Insaan, the man. I had yet to receive the lecture from Qari Sahib on his hadith, as explained by Hazrat Muhyuddin Ibn e Arabi, that expounded on that, “I am the Noor, the light, the Qalam, the pen and the Aql, the power to reflect.”

 

All three!

 

My favourite passage from Al Fath Ar Rabbano this year was the following story. So much so that it was in my speech at the launch of the tables in the Park. I was besotted by it. The short-cut: how to gain Allah’s Pleasure, previously definitely out of reach, was like finding that one drop of rain that becomes a pearl!

 

“An incident goes that the people of Bani Israel once were faced with a suffering. They gathered and went to the Prophet of their time. ‘What can we do, O Nabi (as)?’ they asked him.

 

“What is the deed that will please Allah and it becomes the means to deliver us from our hardship?”

 

The Prophet (as) prayed to Allah to unveil to him what that deed would be.

 

Allah Subhan a Ta’ala revealed to his Prophet (as), “Tell them! If you seek My Pleasure, become a cause to bring happiness to the needy. Thus if you bring ease to them, in their happiness I will become pleased with you. And if you displease them, I will remain displeased with you.”

 

When I read that story for the 100th time, I understood the gift of Shaan. Throughout my life, which really only counted for the last ten years that I was made mindful of my soul, in my deeds which were at least sincere in terms of the intent to please my Lord, the pleasure I sought was in fact always momentary. Yet I was content with that.

 

The rations I distributed brought a smile to someone’s face pleasing them no doubt, but it was a moment and I was almost always never there for those. My driver was. The food I distributed daily, it made people happy but again it was a moment and again I was never there. My driver was. I had no personal involvement beyond doling out the money, suggesting the food items, the neighborhoods. I was always sitting at home. If I had gone, I would have ended up just sitting in a car anyway so I didn’t. Yet I was content with my deeds.

 

Shaan made me realize that maybe Allah or Nabi Kareem (saw) or Ghaus Pak (ra) or Hazrat Pir Sakhi Turad Murad Shah (ra) or my Spiritual Master and all the Masters who I deeply revered were pointing something out to me; Seeking the Pleasure of Allah is not for x minutes a day every day, like a rote exercise. It’s not like the prayer you utter thinking about other things. It’s sought all day and all night. Like breath! It is what one lives for. It’s not what one does, it’s what one becomes; an existence seeking Divine Pleasure.

 

Since I took Shaan under my wing, I was aware of him throughout my day. In my actions and in my prayers, whether I was in Lahore or out of it. But he was not blood. He was not a friend. He was simply a human being that was sent into my life to care for. Shaan was the means for me to reach Allah’s Pleasure in every moment.

 

I heard in a lecture of Uzair’s weeks ago something about all of our relationships in this world.

 

“So one thinks, I get along with some people, I don’t get along with others. Remember that the root of that discord is a single element, the ego. The rule is that whenever there is animosity between two souls or any groups of souls, feeling anger or hate or mistrust or suspicion, the reason behind it is the ego, which creates fire in the relationship. And conversely, when the relationship between two souls is loving, nur, light, emanates from it. So why is it light between some and fire between others?

 

Hazrat Ayesha Siddiqua (ratu) asked Huzoor once, ‘Why is it that sometimes with people I have known all my life, we are estranged with each other while with others, who I have not known as long at all, I feel like we have known each other forever?’

 

And you see some people even parents and children and spouses married forever, seem like they are stranger to each other.

 

Huzoor (saw) replied, ‘The reason is that when the souls were gathered on Youm e Alast, the Day when all the souls created were gathered and Allah had them wait for His Vision, the souls in that waiting which lasted years, started roaming around. The soul does not have an ego so in that wandering, whichever soul came across another, love was formed between them because of that meeting.’

 

That is why the relationship between the disciple and the Spiritual Master is always of love from the beginning. They will never feel estranged. There will never be ego between them. They met on that Day even though they might not have met their siblings or parents or children.

 

Then Huzoor continues, ‘And the souls that could not meet there, they come into the world and even though they might live side by side forever, they are estranged.’”

 

I decided not to say anything to my staff about what I had learnt behind their backs. Let things play out the way they are meant to be played out for I did not possess the ability to do so without giving them bad news and repelling them. But it wasn’t that easy. The person in question was spiraling out of control. My tongue was silent but my nafs was matching their madness after madness. I would pendulum between anger and some pretense of patience. Shaitan inserted and re-inserted the same seed and vanished, triggering in me a false sense of dignity.

 

Night after night when I woke for the prayer before the morning prayer, the one favoured by Allah because it was supposedly only Him and me alone, my worship was executed in a state of daze. The strangest, most inane, thoughts circled in my head and I felt like I wasn’t even on standing on the prayer mat, just floating on my nafs above it. I felt so ashamed I couldn’t even cry.

 

On the fourth morning, I sat in my bed torturing myself for a full hour until I realized, if I continued like this I wouldn’t be able to pray ever. I looked at my bedside and the collection of books on it. On top was Al Fath Ar Rabbani. I pulled out my pen to take notes, went to my bookmark and this is what I came upon:

 

“Stay away from all of them (nafs, the base self, duniya, the world, al hawa the desires, tab’a, nature (of Man) and aqran assu’, corrupting companions) for all of them are your enemies. And there is no one who is your Muhib, your True Friend, except Allah Azzo Jal.

 

He loves you for your self and others love you for their own sake. When you lose your nafs in the state of your khalwat, state of seclusion, and wish it to be in the company of the Talibeen, the Friends of God, then at this point your seclusion becomes filled with the love of Allah Azzo Jal.”

 

I felt amazed. My nafs was front and center, parading through my state of seclusion. Then Ghaus Pak (ra) stated the other way for seclusion to be filled with Divine Love.

 

“When you can leave your nafs with the world and your qalb with the Afterlife and your Sirr, the inner being, with your Maula, Allah, at this point will your seclusion become in love with Allah.

 

And in the presence of your nafs or the presence of other nafoos, others, your seclusion is not true seclusion.

 

Seclusion with Allah is when it is with Him without all others. You will find Him after you finally hold bughz, intense dislike (in your heart), towards others. When will you purify yourself so that you will see The Purity and The Pure One? When will you become truthful so that you see The Truth and The True One? When will you attain ikhlas, sincerity, so that you can see the Door of Allah Azzo Jal and Allah Himself?”

 

I paused throughout the reading feeling stunned. It brought into focus what the dilemma had made me, turned me into, in a matter of days. The person in my staff was doing a few things, one of which was pilfering. That had forced me to take the money of their hands and place it into my own. Which meant there was adding and subtracting and worst of all counting. Knowing all the while and quoting it umpteenth times that the Quran said; In the counting lay the trap of being a miser!

 

‏وَيْلٌۭ لِّكُلِّ هُمَزَةٍۢ لُّمَزَةٍ ‎

‏ٱلَّذِى جَمَعَ مَالًۭا وَعَدَّدَهُۥ ‎

 

Woe to every slanderer, backbiter,

the one who collects wealth and counts it.

Surah Al Humazah, Verse 1-2

 

When I looked up the verse in the Book I was taken aback by what the Surah was called: Al Humazah - “The Slanderer, The Gossip-monger.”

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Waylu: The greatest evil and most massively intense destruction for every one amongst all people…

 

Le kulle humaza: for everyone who is sarcastic, the one walks among people with sarcasm and disgraces people’s sense of dignity and it becomes for him, this low-life habit, an ugly practice, permanent and forever, and also for every…

 

Lumaza: person is the who finds faults in others, deriding them about their ancestry and assigning them with different kinds of abuses to (being born from) prostitutes and without fathers, accusing them and being suspicious of them.

 

And nothing has made this person daring enough and inclined towards this ugly habit and wrongful deed except his wealth and his riches and his status and his role of leadership (in society). So indeed he is…

 

Alladi jama’ maalan: the one who gathers wealth and baggage from the decorations of the valueless world, towards which are leaning hearts of the worldly people and their companions.

 

Wa addadahu: And he keeps counting it, (the money).

 

Yahsabu anna maalahu akhladahu: thinking that, without doubt, his wealth will always allow him to remain i.e. it will be forever and maintain his naf (self) endlessly and make him the one who will always be in the world, living in it forever, to the extent that he thinks that never will he experience decline or transfer of it.

 

And overall, he is in a deception because of his wealth and his status to the degree that he thinks it will be with him forever due to his boastfulness and his delusion.”

 

That tracking of expenses and budgets had turned me into a stingy person in a matter of two days. That was one reason for my sustained state of restlessness.

 

Hazrat Yahya (as) had once asked Iblis: “Who do you think of as a friend amongst Mankind and who do you consider your enemy?

 

Iblis replied, “I love the Mo’min bakheel, the one who has brought faith and is a miser. But I dislike the Fasiq, the defiantly disobedient sinner who is generous.”

 

The Prophet Yahya (as) asked, “Why?”

 

He explained, “Because the miserliness of the miser will eventually destroy him so I don’t have to worry about misleading him. But the sinner who is generous worries me that because of his generosity, maybe Allah will look upon him with Mercy and forgive him his sins.”

 

Then as he left he said, “You were a Prophet, otherwise I would never have revealed this secret before anyone.”

 

No wonder all the Spiritual Masters only had one question for their disciples at the end of each day; was there anything left that could have been distributed? If there was, they were deeply saddened, comparing themselves to the worst of evil tyrants, Pharoah and Qaroon. If there wasn’t, they felt ease and felt the scent of The Beloved (peace be upon him) and his family around them. Subhan Allah!

 

I had seen the door of miserliness but I had not passed through it. I had just stood under it restless, anxious, miserable, stuck! It made me realize that I walked through those doors so much more easily when my emotions, as reactions, even when negative, had to do with others. But in relationship to myself, I could be frozen for a while. In the blame game with someone else, I couldn’t see myself and I was made to finally understand why people are the veil that will never allow me to see my nafs.

 

“Remember! Makhlooq, creation, is the veil over your nafs, ego. And your ego is the veil over your qalb that prevents you from recognizing your Lord. And your qalb is the veil over your batin, the inner being. So as long as you remain stuck with people, you will not be able to see your nafs.”

 

That morning I went to the shrine of Pir Sakhi Turat Murad Shah (ra) in Bagh e Jinnah after several days. I did not play. The city was covered in a cloud of fog. I played Catch with Shaan for a bit and they he and I walked to the Mazaar. I went inside and laid my temple on the marble at the foot of his tomb, pressing down on it, letting the coldness enter my mind, hoping something from inside it would travel to my heart.

 

Then finally the tears came and I said, “Baba Ji, I didn’t come to see you for so many days and my life fell into ruin.” I cried and cried and kept repeating myself. “I became ruined. Everything fell apart and I now I am ruined.”

 

When I walked back to the parking with Shaan who was bouncing a rubber ball we bought, I thought about how if someone like me, who was knee deep in the so-called acquisition and pursuit of knowledge could waiver and find themselves light years from any center, what was the surprise that others, who didn’t even consider it, were floating deep inside black holes?

 

I saw myself falling into the abyss of the asfal as safileen – the lowest of the low. And a verse, one of many, when I have translated and names and faces of people have come to mind, in unintentional (yet) judgment nonetheless, came to mind for my own self. A verse that I would have never in a million years thought would ever apply to me.

 

Because I felt destroyed!

 

وَمَن يَعْشُ عَن ذِكْرِ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ نُقَيِّضْ لَهُۥ شَيْطَـٰنًا فَهُوَ لَهُۥ قَرِينٌ

 

And whoever turns a blind eye to the remembrance of the Most Compassionate,

We place at the disposal of each one from the party of Iblis as their close associate,

Surah Az-Zukruf, Verse 36

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa mayya’shu: and the one who turns away physically as well as from the heart…

 

An dikr Ar Rahman: from the Quran, which explains for this person the way to imaan, faith and irfaan, Recognition of Allah, due to excessive lustful desires and attractions for the senses which are worldly…

 

Nuqayyad lahu: We give control and power over him to…

 

Shaytan an: Iblis and his party, who misguides him, and seduces him and whispers doubts into his heart, and destroys him.

 

Fa huwa: Shaitaan then becomes…

 

Lahu Qareen: attached to him forever, beautifying for him that which is sinful and that which is wrong and makes him deluded into believing those things until he makes him enter into the fire which cuts and deprives him from Allah’s Mercy.

 

It was Qari Sahib who had pointed out how Ghaus Pak (ra) described “remembrance of God:” the Quran. Then he told me a hadith that elucidated the verse:

 

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

مَا مِنْكُمْ مِنْ أَحَدٍ إِلَّا وَقَدْ وُكِّلَ بِهِ قَرِينُهُ مِنْ الْجِنِّ

قَالُوا وَإِيَّاكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ

قَالَ وَإِيَّايَ إِلَّا أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَانَنِي عَلَيْهِ فَأَسْلَمَ فَلَا يَأْمُرُنِي إِلَّا بِخَيْرٍ

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, “There is no one amongst you except that next to him is an associate from the Jinn (who propels him towards sin.)

 

The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Even with you?”

 

He replied, “And even with me except that Allah helped me against him and he surrendered so (now) he doesn’t say order me towards anything except goodness.

 

But I read the Quran and I listened to it and I even worked on translating exegesis of it, yet there were times he was a close associate. In my prayers, I invoked association with the Friends of God all day long. Yet I lost the calm of my prayer in a second. It vanished and became replaced by noise. Why? And then I knew. It was because my words were without meaning. My deeds were without sincerity.

 

I remembered a lecture of Uzair’s in which he spoke about the Quran and how it was a living thing. Not a book, not words printed on paper. That is why Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) was called the living Quran. He was why Allah placed the exception to everything in deed. And that deed only counted if it was in emulation of His Beloved (peace be upon him).

 

During the days of self-inflicted torture, I had asked the Quran what to do about the situation with the missing money. The options of punitive measures kept looping in my head. The verse that came said it all:

 

يَسْـَٔلُونَكَ عَنِ ٱلسَّاعَةِ أَيَّانَ مُرْسَىٰهَا ۖ

قُلْ إِنَّمَا عِلْمُهَا عِندَ رَبِّى ۖ

لَا يُجَلِّيهَا لِوَقْتِهَآ إِلَّا هُوَ ۚ

ثَقُلَتْ فِى ٱلسَّمَوَتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ ۚ

 

They ask you about the Hour, when will be its appointed time?

Say, "Its knowledge rests only with my Lord,

None but Him an reveal its time.

It lays heavily in the heavens. Nor will it come to you but suddenly.

Surah Al Araaf, Verse 187

 

In that instant, I became of what had become absent in my life, draining away in some second when I was unaware: reliance upon God. Shaan walked by the room as I read the verse with Qari Sahib, holding his tennis ball, baseball cap on head, shades stuck on top of it. I had said to him more than a few times;

 

“You’re like a bird Shaan. You wake with the dawn and sleep at 7.”

 

I was saying it in that context specifically of timing but he was like a bird in many other ways; the creature amongst Creation that was the highest in rank in the animal kingdom. He didn’t know when his next meal would come. He didn’t know from where. Or even if. Yet he never thought about it. Or cared about it or expected it. It didn’t seem to cross his mind at all. He was detached from everything. Truly detached. Not like me who said it, even felt like I felt it. But too often, on the heels of that feeling was my ego in one form or another so it was not true.

 

When I had said that he had responded with annoyance, turning his face away like a kid, “I’m a tiger and you’ve made me a bird. At least call me an eagle!”

 

I smiled. Like I always smile at what he says.

 

I understood just recently why tawakkul, reliance, was elusive for me. There when I didn’t need it and absent when it was required. The prerequisite for it was sidq. I knew the word to mean truth but I looked it up. There were four types of it; wafa – devotion or constancy, yaqeen – certainty, ikhlas – sincerity, sehha – state of being true and salama – genuineness.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) in Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “Be of sidq in your words and your deed and be patient in all your states. Sidq is actually the One-ness of Allah, Tauheed and it is ikhlas, sincerity and it is tawakkul, reliance upon Him.

 

The reality of reliance is the cutting off of all means and people and disassociating from the idea that it is because of your own strength and ability. To the extent that your qalb and your sirr desire connection with Him, cut off all other means of connection other than Him and keep yourself away from them and them away from you. Keep yourself away from the happenings until you connect with Al Muhdis, The One who is the Creator of them. While you remain with your self or your other wordly means, you cannot succeed.”

 

Once I asked Shaan to tell me something about the time he spent in the park and he said this.

 

“When you walk in the sun under open skies and your sweat falls on the ground, the scent of one drop of it tells you who you are as a person.”

 

I listened to his words not understanding a single one. I had never walked in the sun except when I wanted to. The skies were open for me only when I chose them to be. No wonder I had no clue who I was as a person.

 

In my intrusive line of questioning, I shifted gears into second and asked, “What should one ask God for Shaan?”

 

Without a moment’s hesitation, his face lit, he said, “There’s no need to ask Him for anything. If he wants to give you something, He will give it.”

 

It wasn’t any wonder he never asked anyone for anything. He was trained by his Lord to only rely on Him. He was a marvel!

 

I discovered recently the root of humiliation. It was expectation. As soon as one does something for one, expectation enters the dynamic invisibly. As soon as one asks someone for anything, expectation enters. When it is not met, which is eventually inevitable, it turns to disappointment for a moment. Then it converts to what lasts; humiliation. Unquestionably, it is the worst feeling a human being can experience.

 

It’s been the worst for me for sure of any emotion. It causes rage and then a drowning in self-pity. I have claimed to love, then hated persons who caused it. Then I have felt badly for hating them and the cycle repeated. It felt like I was burning in a fire where I was dousing the fuel upon myself and a hadith came to mind describing me to myself:

 

أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ،

يَقُولُ : إِنَّمَا مَثَلِي وَمَثَلُ النَّاسِ ، كَمَثَلِ رَجُلٍ اسْتَوْقَدَ نَارًا فَلَمَّا أَضَاءَتْ مَا حَوْلَهُ ،

جَعَلَ الْفَرَاشُ وَهَذِهِ الدَّوَابُّ الَّتِي تَقَعُ فِي النَّارِ يَقَعْنَ فِيهَا ،

فَجَعَلَ يَنْزِعُهُنَّ وَيَغْلِبْنَهُ فَيَقْتَحِمْنَ فِيهَا ،

فَأَنَا آخُذُ بِحُجَزِكُمْ عَنِ النَّارِ وَهُمْ يَقْتَحِمُونَ فِيهَا .

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said,

"My example and the example of the people is that of a man who made a fire, and when it lighted what was around it, moths and other insects started falling into the fire. The man tried (his best) to prevent them, (from falling in the fire) but they overpowered him and rushed into the fire.

The Prophet (ﷺ) added: Now, similarly, I take hold of the knots at your waist (belts) to prevent you from falling into the Fire, but you insist on falling into it."

 

Humiliation coming my way was one thing. It was my pursuit of it that was astonishing. It always came under my favourite guise of goodness and kindness that I loved to don. Always false! That’s why it was never the humiliation that brought one closer to God. I never bore it for His Sake. I bore it for mine. Just like people love people for their own sake.

 

Turns out that my rayakari, showing off, is mostly between me and my nafs. When I did something “generous” or “kind,” then thought to myself, “That was pretty cool huh?” My nafs just looked back at me silently, deadpan but what it was really saying all the while was, “Give it a day. Then tell me how you did feels.”

 

Sometimes I cry because I think I have moved from the base nafs, Ammara to the one above it, Lawamma, the “accusatory or self-reproaching self” but then I see myself push it back to becoming the worst one again. I do it myself, knowingly and unknowingly, intentionally and unintentionally, caught between the traps delicately lay out by my own justifications and my “false sense of dignity.” In that fire that I fall into, even the creatures of fire, the Shayateen, move away from me.

 

I cannot do anything, barely take a step in any direction, without falling, slipping, erring. I am not of the ones who know to leave the nafs with the world and the qalb with the Hereafter and the sirr with The Protector. For as I found, even if the nafs could be tamed, the doubts sowed by Man’s mortal enemy could always sprout, even at one’s death-bed after living a life exemplary in every single way because Iblis spares no one:

 

Imam Raazi (ra) was a Persian polymath, Islamic scholar and a pioneer of inductive logic. He wrote various works in the fields of medicine, chemistry, physics, astronomy, cosmology, literature, theology, ontology, philosophy, history and jurisprudence.

 

He was one of the earliest proponents and skeptics that came up with the concept of Multiverse, and compared it with the astronomical teachings of Quran. A rejector of the geocentric model and the Aristotelian notions of a single universe revolving around a single world, Al-Raazi argued about the existence of the outer space beyond the known world.

 

“When he was on his deathbed, Iblis came to the Imam (ra) to give his last best effort to make break his faith, take it away from him.

 

With this in mind, Iblis asked him a question, “You spent your entire life in seeing the Signs of Allah and loving Him. Did you ever recognize God?”

 

The Imam (ra) replied, “Without doubt Allah is One.”

 

Iblis said, “Where is your proof for it?”

 

Imam Fakhar al Din al Raazi (ra) gave him a daleel (an argument as evidence). Iblis, once the Ustad of the Angels, dismissed the argument. The Imam (ra) presented a second case. He defeated that as well. The conversation continued until the Imam (ra) had given 360 arguments and Iblis had dispelled all of them. The Imam (ra) became gravely perplexed and started to lose hope.

 

Imam Fakhar al Din al Raazi (ra) was the disciple of Hazrat

Najmuddin Kubra (ra), one of the most favoured disciples of Ghaus Pak (ra). Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) could see the whole incident unfolding before him from afar.

 

He was performing ablution and during it, he called out to his disciple, “Why don’t you just say, ‘I have brought faith upon God without any argument.’”

 

I have one hope alone for love to enter my seclusion: The Talibeen.

 

“When you lose your nafs in the state of your khalwat, state of seclusion, and wish it to be in the company of the Talibeen, the Friends of God, then at this point your seclusion becomes filled with the love of Allah Azzo Jal.”

 

When I reached home, I spoke to said staff member who I had been forgiving every day and trying to keep track to see when I would clear 70, the number Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) had said was the number of times to forgive an employee of the home for mistakes they made. I cleared the air completely. We both relaxed. The tension between everyone broke and the mood of the house changed. It went back to how it was; happy!

 

Like the Earth, I orbit around myself and my self orbits around words. Allah’s in the Quran, His Beloved’s (peace be upon him) in the ahadith. And then there’s mine, which are most often without meaning. I circled back to Maulana Rum (ra).

 

What you seek is seeking you.

When I run after what I believe I want,

my days are a furnace of stress and tension.

But if I sit in my own place of patience,

what I need flows to me itself, without any pain.

From this I understand that

what I am seeking is also seeking me

is looking for me and attracting me.

There is a great (Divine) Secret here

for those who can comprehend it.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says, “Let there be no doubt that God has given me His Word that fire will never touch those who are amongst mine and they will die being believers.” That fire, I had been reading in his tafseer of Surah Tauba, is “the worst, most terrible abode of the ones deprived and rejected from acceptance by Allah. That fire is being cast away from His Mercy and to be forgotten by Him.”

 

It’s funny. People forget the one they loved intensely but they never forget the one who loved them with blind devotion. One by one I have forgotten them all, those I loved. Certainly everyone forgot me. All that is left of love in my life for a long time now is what I receive from the Friends of God. Their love elucidates the meanings of sidq. All four of them! It’s like Shaan’s. All my focus on them only informs me about myself.

 

The greatest upside of “sitting in patience,” when I have been allowed to do it, was that it forced sincerity naturally in my deed. The pause allowed me to consider my intention closely. Even when I didn’t consider it, the time in that pause revealed my intention to me. Why was I about to do that which I was about to do. In each and every overture I made otherwise, my ego was the protagonist. It was just invisible.

 

In a reaction though, as opposed to the action in the pursuit of want, there always lies the possibility of emulation. Of the Masters of the souls and their Master, Ghaus Pak (ra) and his Master, Maula Ali (ratu) and his Master, the Prophet of God (peace be upon him). That too is invisible. It holds within it a true chance that might make me not a deceiver, for my own self nor any other. The notion alone makes me feel calm. Now when I stare at the gorgeous sky from my bedroom in Lahore just after sunset, I finally see before me what I have only dreamed about; the stillness of sincerity.

 

Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani:

The purification of “asraar,” the plural of sirr, that which is nourished by the Bounty of Allah, come from the absence of thoughts (which are doubts and paranoia).

 

The purification of the souls, ruh, comes from shedding thoughtlessness.

 

The purification of the quloob, the Seat of Recognition of Allah, comes from giving up desires that are forbidden.

 

The purification of the aqool, the power to reflect, lies in the disappearance of ignorance.

 

The purification of the nafoos, the base self, is to abstain from ingratitude and the denial of Truth.

 

And the purification of the physical self comes from the avoidance of sins.

 

The one who was loved by Allah from the beginning, He makes them pure in the world from that which might distract him even for a single moment from His Being. So indeed, the true lover does not abandon his beloved in any situation that might harm him.

 

Helloween

.

Keeper of the Seven Keys

 

Make the people

hold each other's hands

and fill their hearts with truth

you made up your mind

so do as divined

 

Put on your armour

ragged after fights

hold up your sword

you're leaving the light

make yourself ready

for the lords of the Dark

they'll watch your way

so be cautious, quiet and hark

 

You hear them whispering

in the crowns of the trees

you're whirling 'round

but your eyes don 't agree

will 'o' the wisps

misguiding your path

you can 't throw a curse

without takin' their wrath

 

Watch out for the seas of hatred and sin

or all us people forget what we've been

our only hope's your victory

kill that satan who won't let us be - kill!

 

You re the keeper of the seven keys

that lock up the seven seas

and the seer of visions said before he went blind

hide them from demons and rescue mankind

or the world we're all in wilI soon be sold

to the throne of the evil payed with Lucifer's gold

 

You can feel cold sweat

running down your neck

and the dwarfs of falseness

throw mud at your back

 

Guided by spells

Of the old seer's hand

you're suffering pain

only steel can stand

 

Stay well on your way and follow the sign

fulfill your own promise and do what's divined

the seven seas are far away

placed in the valley of dust heat and sway

 

You're the keeper of the seven keys

that lock up the seven seas

and the seer of visions said before he went blind

hide them from demons and rescue mankind

or the world we're all in wilI soon be sold

to the throne of the evil payed with Lucifer's gold

 

Throw the first key into the sea of hate

throw the second key into the sea of fear

throw the third key into the sea of senselessness

and make the people hold each other's hands

the fourth key belongs into the sea of greed

and the fifth into the sea of ignorance

 

Disease, disease, disease my friend

for this whole world's in devil's hand

Disease, disease, disease my friend

throw the key or you may die

 

On a mound at the shore of the last sea

he is sitting, fixing your sight

with his high iron voice causing sickness

he is pIaying you out with delight

 

man who do you just think you are?

A silly bum with seven stars

don't throw the key or you will see

dimensions cruel as they can be

don't let him suck off your power

throw the key...!

 

An earthquake, squirting fire, bursting ground

Satan's screaming, and earth swallowing him away!

 

You're the keeper of the seven keys

you locked up the seven seas

and the seer of visions can now rest in peace

there ain't no more demons and no more disease

and mankind, live up, you're free again

yes the tyran is dead, he is gone, overthrown

you have given our souls back to light

   

The Dying of Will

 

Tafseer e Tustari: "Hazrat Sahl (ra) was [then] asked about a man who repents and renounces a certain sin, but then it occurs to his heart, or he sees it or hears of it and finds sweetness in that vile sin. What is to be done in such a case?

 

He replied: The feeling of sweetness pertains to [his] nature (ṭabʿ) and is not susceptible of change, such that a thing which is loved could become something detestable.

 

However, the heart’s determination can be coerced so that he can return to God, Mighty and Majestic is He, and place his dilemma before Him. Then he should force on himself and on his heart a state of rejection [of that sin] which should never leave him, for if he becomes inattentive to that state of rejection for just the blinking of the eye, it is to be feared that he will not remain safe from it."

 

Ramzan! The month Allah calls His Own. When Satan is shackled and the nafs is bound, at least superficially, through fasting. My routine per instruction from Qari Sahib was set; Reading the Quran as much as possible. My intention was to write one piece for the month.

 

The choice of topic was spectacular; the Quran. I had collected a gazillion gems for it from different lectures by Uzair. I wanted to post it on the 27th night, Laila tul Qadr. The night that the first verse was revealed upon the heart of the Beloved (peace be upon him) in the Cave of Hira where he went to meditate for years and where his beloved wife, Bibi Khadija (ratu) brought him his food.

 

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رضي الله عنه قَالَ: أَتَي جِبْرِيْلُ النَّبِيَّ صلي الله عليه وآله وسلم

فَقَالَ : يَا رَسُوْلَ اﷲِ، هَذِهِ خَدِيْجَةُ قَد أَتَتْ مَعَهَا إِنَاءٌ فِيْهِ إِدَامٌ أَوْ طَعَامٌ أَوْ شَرَابٌ،

فَإِذَا هِيَ أَتَتْکَ فَاقْرَأْ عَلَيْهَا السَّلْامَ مِنْ رَّبِّهَا وَمِنِّي،

وَ بَشِّرْهَا بِبَيْتٍ فِي الْجَنَّةِ مِنْ قَصَبٍ، لَا صَخَبَ فِيْهِ وَلَا نَصَبَ

 

As narrated by Hazrat Abu Huraira (ratu):

Hazrat Gibrael (as) came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and said, “Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you)!

This is Khadija (ratu) who is bringing with her a bowl with soup or food or drink.

When she comes to you, say to her that her Lord God sends upon her Salam and so do I and give her glad tidings of a palace in Paradise wherein there will be no noise or any fatigue.”

 

I honed in on the words “noise and fatigue” and how they were the harbingers of difficulty in the world.

 

The incident of the revelation in recorded in the following manner in Fatih ul Bari ;

 

Begin excerpt “The Softest Heart”

 

أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ:

أَتَانِي جِبْرِيلُ بِنَمَطٍ مِنْ دِيبَاجٍ فِيهِ كِتَابٌ قَالَ اقْرَأْ

قُلْتُ: مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئ

 

Said the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), “Gibrael came to me with a book placed on a sheet of silk, and said, ‘Read!’

 

I said, “I do not have a reader.”

 

It is true that as soon as the Quran was recited by the Prophet of God (peace be upon him) in front of the Kuffar who felt spellbound by its beauty, the first accusation they leveled against him was that he was a poet, then that he was a magician, then that he was Majnun.

 

ن ۚ وَالْقَلَمِ وَمَا يَسْطُرُونَ

مَا أَنتَ بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ بِمَجْنُونٍ

وَإِنَّ لَكَ لَأَجْرًا غَيْرَ مَمْنُونٍ

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ

بِأَييِّكُمُ الْمَفْتُونُ فَسَتُبْصِرُ وَيُبْصِرُونَ

 

Nun. (I swear) by the pen, and all that which they write (therewith)! You are not, by your Sustainer's grace, a madman! And, verily, yours shall be a reward never ending.

And you (stand) on an exalted standard of character. And (one day) you will see, and they (who now deride you) shall see which of you is afflicted with madness.

Surah Al Qalam, Verses 1-4

 

The most common understanding of the incident of the first revelation to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is different from what I have written above.

 

It is that when Hazrat Gibrael (as) came to him and said, “Iqra,”

 

“Read,” he replied, “I cannot read” as opposed to “I do not have a reader.”

 

After the dialogue repeating thrice, Hazrat Gibrael (as) said:

 

اقْرَأ باسم رَبك

 

“Read in the Name of your Lord God.”

 

People have never understood why the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was an Ummi,’ the one who does not read or write. They don’t understand that the God who can do anything, if He chooses to make His Beloved (peace be upon him), the manifestation of perfection, then there has to be a significant reason behind it. The trite explanation for this that I have seen is that he didn’t read or write so that when he would reveal the Quran to the Meccans, he would not be accused of writing it himself. But he was accused of thinking it up himself regardless so what’s the difference?

 

Pir Naseeruddin Naseer (ra) offers another explanation for why the Prophet (peace be upon him) is created as Ummi’ by God:

 

God makes His Last Messenger (peace be upon him) share His own Sunnah (habit/actions): God also does not read, He has others do it for Him. He does not write, others do it for Him. He wanted the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the one who he created in His Image more than anyone else, to share that attribute with Him.

 

It’s a very subtle point that only a certain kind of mind can appreciate. Personally I love it! It reminds me of a line of a couplet of Jigar Muradabadi.

 

میری کیا مجال جو دخل دوں ، میں کسی کے راز ونیاز میں

 

Who am I to interfere in His Secrets and His Bestowing, how much to whom?

 

Another Sufi thought that I heard behind why the one who possesses all the knowledge and wisdom of the Universe since its Creation does not write is that it is simply a matter of love. If The Beloved (peace be upon him) did write, what he would write most is the word “Allah.” Since the pen would be above and the word written below it, it was not acceptable again in the realm of adab, regard.

 

Later in the year, I would read in the Tafseer e Jilani the explanation for the verse in which Allah Ar-Rafi’, The Elevating One, says to His Prophet (peace be upon him):

 

سَنُقْرِئُكَ فَلَا تَنسَىٰ

 

We shall teach you, O Muhammad (peace be upon you) and you will not forget (of what you have been taught).

Surah Al-A’la, Verse 6

 

Tafseer e Jilani: We will make you from Ourself a reader who watches and reads Our Revelations and Inspirations even though you are an Ummi’ for I created you to be above the norms of reading and writing. So you will memorize and safeguard all of it and you will express your gratitude continuously for it so that there will never be any lessening or addition or alteration to it.

 

End excerpt “The Softest Heart”

 

In any case, those who think of the angel Gibrael (as) as the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) teacher have not read the following hadith again invoking the same verse.

 

سَنُقْرِئُكَ فَلَا تَنسَىٰ

 

We shall teach you, O Muhammad (peace be upon you)

and you will not forget (of what you have been taught).

Surah Al-A’la, Verse 6

  

The exegesis of the verse in the Tafseer Ruh Al Bayan is as follows: When Gibrael (as) came to the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) with the verse of Surah Maryam and recited it, (the first verse being four letters of the Arabic language);

 

كهيعص

 

Kaf, Ha, Ya, 'Ayn, Sad.

Surah Maryam, Verse 1

 

the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”

 

Gibrael (as) said, “Kaaf.”

 

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”

 

Gibrael (as) said, “Haa.”

 

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”

 

Gibrael (as) said, “Yaa.”

 

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”

 

Gibrael (as) said, “‘Ain.”

 

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”

 

Gibrael (as) said, “Suaad.”

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”

 

Gibrael (as) said, “O Prophet of Allah (peace be upon you)! What majesty is this? I myself don't know the meaning of this and you know it.”

 

But nothing I had planned for the month came to pass. For starters Qari Sahib got Corona. That alone sent me into a tailspin. My ablutions became more intense. I couldn’t write anything. He is the one who helps me with my references. I need the original text which is in Arabic or Urdu books in his online archive. Then I always need to study and translate the tafaseer with him.

 

The second happening that threw a wrench into the desire of worship was my building outdoor table tennis tables in a local park in Lahore. It wasn’t just any park either. It was the Kohinoor of all 800 parks in the city; Bagh e Jinnah. I had pitched the idea to the PHA (Parks and Horticultural Authority) on April 10th. They had been extremely enthusiastic about it. Two weeks later on the 27th I presented them with my plan and another two weeks later, a day after Ramzan started, we broke ground.

 

I went to the site every day at 7:30 am and stayed there for hours. I didn’t know the first thing about construction so my input was zero. I sat there like a dummy. The contractor and other workers would say, “Baji, go home” but I stayed. I don’t know why. I felt like I should be there. It felt hotter because of the fast but the heat wasn’t unbearable. I don’t mind heat. If I was an animal I would be a camel. Still, by the time I got home in the afternoon I was exhausted. I would collapse on my bed with alarms ringing an hour later for other stuff I had to do. For the first time in years I barely had time to even check email once a day.

 

For the next three weeks, I was deeply immersed in all things worldly. I joked with a friend of mine that I didn’t have a single experience at the site that motivated me to write even a sentence. Otherwise if I traveled anywhere for just a weekend, a story emerged from within me. The whole experience was physically arduous. But the real test of the month was spiritual and it came totally out of the blue.

 

The best I can explain what happened is this; a ghost from my past appeared. That’s all it was; an apparition. I was supposed to stay still. That was the test, my reaction was being watched. Instead of remaining where I was and letting destiny play itself out, caving to impulse, I ran towards it and all hell broke loose. Maulana (ra) writes about it perfectly;

 

What you seek is seeking you.

 

When I run after what I believe I want,

my days are a furnace of stress and tension.

 

But if I sit in my own place of patience,

what I need flows to me itself, without any pain.

 

From this I understand that

what I am seeking is also seeking me

is looking for me and attracting me.

 

There is a great (Divine) Secret here

for those who can comprehend it.

 

The weird thing is I had successfully applied the principle in the past. Usually I waited and watched. Precisely because of the poem and obeying the instruction given in it in no uncertain terms. But for some reason my zahir and batin, overt and inner beings, were in acute separation.

 

In all my writing for years I have been using the words zahir and batin without knowing exactly what they meant. My understanding of the two words was limited to the zahir being my superficial intention and the batin my deeper, real intention. The first could sometimes be falsehood but the latter was always the truth. The first was rooted in the nafs, the latter in the qalb, the seat of recognition of God in the heart.

 

Since they were never aligned, I felt the dichotomy between them when nothing went according to expectation. I thought I would be doing things for one reason but they would be for entirely another! This time they were moving in polar opposite directions, ripping me apart in the process.

 

I had recently come across the definitions of both words from Hazrat Najmuddin Qubra (ra), an honored disciple of Ghaus Pak (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani;

 

“Know that for each thing that exists in the Universe there is a zahir and a batin.

 

The different forms of zahir: Sometimes it is the jism, a mass, because it has a length and a width and a height so it takes space and can be split into parts. Sometimes zahir is the duniya, the world, because it comes from the root donow, which means becoming near. Therefore the world is called duniya because it is near ehsaas, our feelings.

 

Sometimes zahir is the surat, the face, because it has a form and it can be felt through the five senses. Sometimes zahir is the shahadat, witnessing, because through it something can be testified to. Sometimes zahir can be mulk, a kingdom, because it comes in an ownership and it can be controlled and made subordinate.

 

The different forms of batin: The batin of each and every thing is sometimes called roohaniyat, spirituality, because it has no length, width and depth that takes space and splits into parts. Sometimes batin is called akhirat, because akhirat means that which comes after. In terms of sensing something, the inner (batin) becomes known after the overt (zahir), hence batin is called that which comes in the end.

 

Sometimes batin is called ma’ana, essence or reality, because it does not have an apparent form and it cannot be felt physically. Sometimes it is called ghaib, unseen, because it is absent for the overt senses. Sometimes it is called malakut, the kingdom where there is no possession or control, but it is connected with the outer world.”

 

As soon as I ran after what I believed I wanted, my days became “a furnace of stress and tension.” And I knew exactly why. Prior to taking the misstep, I had done an istakahara to know how to behave in the situation and the verse that had come for me was this;

 

وَإِذَا قَرَأْتَ الْقُرْآنَ جَعَلْنَا بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَ الَّذِينَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْآخِرَةِ حِجَابًا مَّسْتُورً

 

And when you recite the Quran, We place between you and between those who (do) not believe in the Hereafter a veil hidden.

Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 45

 

In the tafseer of the verse I read that Allah is saying that sometimes Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) would be so deeply engrossed in reading the Quran, delving in its depths, searching for the pearls of benefits in Divine Commands, that he would forget about safeguarding himself from harm. Then Allah would, in order to protect him, from those who do not believe in the Afterlife, place a thick barrier between them and him as a veil. They would not be able to see him through that veil and therefore became unable to do him harm.

 

The only part of the verse that I felt was for me was the "veil." Allah had veiled me but in following my desire, I had ripped what was protecting me and exposed myself to a nightmare. For what, one might wonder? Nothing! Because when I did finally reach what I was chasing, it was literally nothing. The apparition disappeared like it was never even there but by then the veil was gone and for the first time in my life after decades, I felt alone. It was devastating because I live my life alone and have for a long time. But this was something else.

 

After that feeling came the real fruit of my disobedience; bitterness. I have been wayward most of my life yet never felt bitter. Or even felt punished. I realized then the difference was because in those days I was in the category of those who didn’t mean to be defiant.

 

ٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓئِرَ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّمَمَ ۚ

إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ ۚ

هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِكُمْ إِذْ أَنشَأَكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَرْضِ وَإِذْ أَنتُمْ أَجِنَّةٌ فِى بُطُونِ أُمَّهَـٰتِكُمْ ۖ

فَلَا تُزَكُّوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ ۖ

هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ ٱتَّقَىٰٓ

 

Those who avoid major sins and indecencies, except for minor lapses excepted.

Indeed, your Lord’s Forgiveness is vast.

He knows you well, ever since He created you from the earth and ever since you were embryos in your mothers’ wombs. So do not attest to your own virtues. He knows best as to who is conscious of Him.

Surah An-Najm, Verse 32

 

But knowing something, following it and then being disobedient, striving towards closeness with God and then turning away from Him, that had consequences unforeseen.

 

One might then ask, “So what is bitterness like?”

 

For me it was two things. First I became unable to be happy for someone else. Even when what happened to them was something I myself had wished for them for ages. Like this one friend of mine who called me and said there was shift in her marriage. For the better. After a decade of misery and anger flung around the house, trapping the spouses and the children in its ugly vortex. My reaction to the news was totally muted.

 

It was so unlike me I noticed it immediately. I didn’t say one positive thing to her. All that left my mouth was “You know you could have done this sooner.” And perhaps more strictly, “Obedience is the prerequisite for guidance” which is a fact but there was no need to say it. It was such a happy occasion. Instead of laughing with her about it and congratulating her, I was numb. Caught up in my feelings of misery. I was too busy gouging my soul.

 

روی نفس مطمئنه در جسد

زخم ناخنهای فکرت می‌کشد

 

Like nails, evil thoughts scratch the face of the Nafs e Mutmainna, your soul.

 

فکرت بد ناخن پر زهر دان

می‌خراشد در تعمق روی جان

 

Know that your wicked thoughts are as if dipped in poison.

Delving into them deeper only damages the face of the soul more.

 

I wonder if the reverse applied. Does bitterness prevent one from being able to feel another person’s sadness as well?

 

The other manifestation of the feeling for me was the appearance of badgumani, a word I had been unfamiliar with personally here to forth. It loosely translates as misunderstanding. For me it was the insertion of paranoia into my own heart by my own self, sowing seeds of mistrust and doubt about the sincerity of another person. Except when bitterness prevails, then the badgumani starts applying to everyone.

 

I have been on the receiving end of the emotion but not felt the emotion myself. Or if I had I couldn’t remember when it last happened. Without question, distrust is one of the heaviest, most negative feelings in the world. Being suspicious about others, second guessing their motive and intention, the whole thing was exhausting, both physically and mentally.

 

Taking that one step on my own made me feel more alone than when members of my family died in succession within months of each other. Because then I was under that veil. Difficulty ceased to exist or was always bearable. Then it would always pass.

 

In these days, I was reading Surah Al-An’am when I got the chance. When I reached the end, I came across a line that explained what was happening.

 

قُلْ أَغَيْرَ اللَّهِ أَبْغِي رَبًّا

وَهُوَ رَبُّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ

وَهُوَ رَبُّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ وَلَا تَكْسِبُ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ إِلَّا عَلَيْهَا

 

Say, “Why would I look for a lord other than God when He is the Lord of all things?”

Each soul is responsible for its own actions and no one bearer of burdens will bear the burdens of another.

Surah Al-An’am, Verse 164

 

Hazrat Najumiddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani; “O you who is unaware! Why would I want anyone other than Allah when He is my Beloved and the lover never wants anyone else except their beloved. If the lover happens then to desire anything other, then Allah is still the Lord of each thing. When the Lord is mine, then the thing is also mine. Whereas if I embrace anyone or anything other than Him, I will never attain it. Even if I gain some goodness from it, it will eventually become a difficulty upon me.”

 

Subhan Allah!

 

Even when I wasn’t religious I had a relationship with Allah in which He protected me. Now when I look back at the hardest times, I see how I brought them all upon myself. But then I didn’t know how to behave. My E.Q. was zero. I was all bravado caught up in a repetition of patterns that continually deepened the grooves of my dysfunction.

 

I can’t say that through this experience I didn’t gain wisdom. Confucius’ promise finally came true; Wisdom can be gained through experience, as opposed to emulation which is easy or reflection, hard, but only with bitterness. I had never chosen “experience” before. I focus all my attention on the stress-free route; emulation.

 

Tafseer e Tustari: "Sahl (ra) was asked about the words of the Prophet , ‘Seeking knowledge is an obligation (farīḍa) for every Muslim’.

 

He said, ‘This refers to the knowledge of [one’s] state (ḥāl).’

 

He was asked, ‘What is the knowledge of [one’s] state?’

 

He replied: 'Inwardly it is sincerity (ikhlāṣ) and outwardly it is emulation (iqtidāʾ). Moreover, unless a person’s outward [self] (ẓāhir) is leading his inner [self] (bāṭin), and his inner self is the perfection (kamāl) of his outward self, he will merely be fatiguing his body.'"

 

I related to a friend of mine my experience of the week. She looked at me amazed.

 

“It sounds like magic.”

 

I didn’t understand what she meant.

 

“Magic?”

 

“Yes. For all that to happen in days. For you to realize what was happening so quickly. People live in that state for so long.”

 

I pondered upon her words. Then I realized at least one reason why I had been so quick to understand what was going on. At the end of the day what saved me was that I’m a wuss, an emotional weakling. I cannot bear or sustain emotional pressure for very long. I think it runs in my family.

 

My mother had weak nerves. She was prone to nervous breakdowns from a young age. She couldn’t sustain emotional pressure at all. Maybe that’s why she was married thrice during a time when a single divorce carried heavy stigma in society. Even her family, her father and brother, despite being from an extremely conservative feudal background, never forced her to stay in a situation that was unhappy for her. That made a huge impact on my life in terms of moulding my personal outlook. In my relationships, if I felt lovelessness making roots, I had no choice but to exit. Long-term facades were not happening for me.

 

In this case, my bitterness and badgumaani, my silent reproach, didn’t last more than four days. It was by far the worst four days of my life. Worse than the times I felt intense depression and couldn’t get out of bed for weeks. Because that was more self-pity than anything else. There was little recognition, much less admission, of any personal transgression.

 

This trial ended because I couldn’t stop crying about what I had done wrong. There it was again appearing as the savior; repentance. Who would have thought just feeling truly badly about doing something brought with it the heavenly ease of salvation.

 

I was reminded that one of Iblis’ favourite tactics of misguiding is not letting people admit their error and instead just buckling down obstinately on their position. I had heard a story in one of Uzair’s lectures that once Iblis came to Pharoah and said to him, “What is it that you think you have come to possess that you have claimed to be god? I have immeasurable knowledge and much more power than you but never have I even thought to make such a claim.”

 

His words alarmed Pharoah. He thought about it in the night and made a decision. The next day when Iblis came he said to him, “I have decided that I will continue everything as is. Do whatever I wish to whoever I want. But I will no longer call myself god.”

 

Iblis looked at him sorrowfully and said, “I think it’s too late for such a reversal. If you now say that, you will lose much more than your credibility. If I were you, I would now just continue as you have been.”

 

Strangely enough, a lot of clerics have the same attitude as well. I know of people who went to many in Lahore, one after another, looking for redemption, seeking forgiveness, wanting to express repentance, explore change and instead were told that it was too late. They were older in years so they heard the same thing Iblis said to Pharoah. “You're too far gone. You may as well just stay as you are.”

 

I recalled a hadith which I have otherwise only focused on again and again in my writing because of the first part; controlling the tongue. But there it was; redemption and deliverance lay in crying in recognition of a mistake.

 

عَنْ عُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، قَالَ:‏‏‏‏ قُلْتُ:‏‏‏‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ،‏‏‏‏ مَا النَّجَاةُ؟

قَالَ:‏‏‏‏ أَمْسِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ وَلْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ وَابْكِ عَلَى خَطِيئَتِكَ

 

As narrated by Hazrat Uqba Bin Amir (ratu):

 

I asked, ”Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you)! Where lies salvation?”

 

He replied, “Keep your tongue in control, have your home capable of holding you and shed tears upon your mistakes.”

 

Then I remembered the line I had used in the video I had made for Maulana (ra) from the Masnavi;

 

تا نگرید ابر کے خندد چمن

تا نگرید طفل کے جوشد لبن

 

Till rain doesn’t fall from the clouds, the deadness of the earth remains.

Till the child doesn’t cry, the mother doesn’t nurse it.

 

گفت "ولیبکوا کثیرا " گوش دار

تا بریزد شیر فضل کردگار

 

And remember that Allah said, “they should weep a lot,”

so that the Mercy of God is showered upon them.

 

My test really ended when I wrote a letter to God. I told Him that I felt like I had been in a boat by myself, sailing blissfully through an ocean calm, then rowed myself into a vortex voluntarily. Now I needed help to get out of it because I was drowning with no end in sight. I wasn’t alive and I wasn’t dead. I wept and wept and invoked Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) asking for forgiveness for the sake of His Beloved. That is when feeling of being distraught dissipated and I felt calm.

 

And thus I returned under the veil. I started feeling like myself again. The hardness of my heart cracked. I wrote to my friend whose marriage was changing and told her how elated I was for her. I felt happy. I sang out loud and twirled around in my room.

 

In the days after when someone I loved disappointed me, I noticed my reaction became different. Before I would be irritated for sure, even if I was able to exercise silence and not react. My heart thought badly of them because what they did was unprovoked and clearly unfair.

 

Now, though, having taken a ride on the train that they were spending most of their time on in their present, I didn’t think of them negatively. I would just stare at them and think how it was exactly like how I had been feeling and behaving. Perhaps there was no other way for me to soften my stance towards them without being exactly the same as them.

 

Later I thought about what happened deeply. I wondered why I had regressed so badly after so long. After all that blissful while that I had sat in my place of not wanting anything and seeing what I needed flow to me. A thought occurred to me. I had been brandishing my latest video as my “masterpiece.” There was a line in it that went a little something like this; whatever you pursue and make your destiny, the striving for it will not let you have any peace in your life.

 

No wonder Nabi Pak (peace be upon him) and all the Auliya Karam in his emulation, prayed fervently for their free will to be taken from them forever.

 

اللَّهُمَّ رَحْمَتَكَ أَرْجُو فَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ

وَأَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَا أَنْتَ

 

The most honored Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “O Allah, it is Your mercy that I hope for so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs.

None has the right to be worshiped except You.

 

Even for a blink of an eye!

 

I wondered with sadness what would happen to the ensuing generations who can’t seem do anything except what they want, when they want, impatient for full charge of their affairs as early as possible.

 

The “veil” I keep referring to is in fact the prize of surrendering one’s free will. Submerging one’s wishes into the irada, Will, of Allah and following that lead.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) in Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani; “When the possibility of rejecting destiny, changing it, erasing it, going against it doesn’t exist, then why do you make a will contradicting Allah’s Will? When only that reaches you which He wills, then you should not want anything at all yourself. And when that cannot happen which He does not wish for you, then don’t put your nafs and your qalb, your self and your heart within the heart, in baseless difficulty by desiring it.

 

Surrender everything to your Lord. Turn your focus towards Him and with the hand of repentance hold on to His Mercy. Then you will always be in the state when bearing all the hardships of the world will become easy. Leaving desires and lusts will become easy and you will not complain about it and you will not be stung by it.”

 

I guess in that state then it doesn’t matter what comes one’s way. If it is happiness one is grateful. If it’s sadness, one is patient while not thinking of the ordeal as difficult and not wanting it to end. And if it happens to be humiliation, then even that has its upside most supreme.

 

Hazrat Bayazid Bastami (ra) sought His Lord for 40 years.

 

“I tried everything I knew to find My Lord but I did not find Him. Finally one night, during Tahajjud, I went into sajda (prostration) and continuously wept. And I said to Him;

 

ما وجدت شياء يتقرب به اليه تعالى إذ رأيت كل نعمت يتقرب به للا لوهية فيه مدخل

 

“I did not find anything that drew me closer to my Lord when I saw that all blessings that create closeness to Allah have, in them, some distortion."

 

فقلت يا رب بماذا أتقرب إليك؟

 

So I said, “O Lord! By what do I come closer to You?”

 

That night was the first time I heard The Voice and He said to me;

 

تقرب الي بما ليس لي

 

“Come towards Me with that which is not Mine and not for Me.”

 

I was astonished by the words and I asked;

 

ما الذي ليس لك يا رب

 

“What is there in this Universe that is not You and not for You?”

 

He said;

 

الذلة و الافتقار

 

“Humiliation and humility."

 

When I first heard the story I couldn’t get over the first word; humiliation. But there is a difference between humiliation borne for the self and the zillat borne for Allah’s Sake. In the first, which is part of everyone’s life in one relationship or another, there is martyrdom, then self-righteousness and almost always a limit of tolerance.

 

When crossed one explodes and retreats, sometimes forever. Or stays and repeats the cycle becoming even harder than before. In the second, there is surrender to Divine Will and therefore infinite patience even when the pain is intense. That is gifted for the chosen few who know that the source of all things is only God.

 

I learnt from Ghaus Pak (ra) the reason to lend understanding to anyone who is overtly doing something wrong.

 

“For example, when you see someone who doesn’t pray, then you tell them to do so because it is the command of the Sharia’ but understand that in the Knowledge of Allah, if the person had been written as a Namazi, the one who says their prayers, then for sure they would have done so. But they are ma’zoor i.e. they are excused because no one has the ability to go against their taqdeer, their ordained destiny.

 

So in this way, when they were not able to listen and obey to advice and orders and instruction, whether it was given gently or firmly, then in the rank of your own knowledge, know that they are ma’zoor, not accepting guidance, so don’t become prideful on your own deeds (for having been granted ability) and stay firm in your belief of having been chosen.”

 

The read, which was actually a footnote, was a remarkable find for me who has trouble not interfering in other people’s spiritual journeys. Again it was about surrender! Except this time it’s not for one’s own self but in the acceptance of the journey of another. That if it is incongruent to one’s own, it’s ok.

 

Qari Sahib explained it wonderfully. “Think of it like the Azaan,” he said. “Some come to pray, others don’t and the call of the Azaan continues.”

 

And of course there was a reference from the Quran. The verse was different because in it Allah has Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) address not the Muslims but every single human being.

 

قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاءَكُمُ الْحَقُّ مِن رَّبِّكُمْ

فَمَنِ اهْتَدَىٰ فَإِنَّمَا يَهْتَدِي لِنَفْسِهِ

وَمَن ضَلَّ فَإِنَّمَا يَضِلُّ عَلَيْهَا

وَمَا أَنَا عَلَيْكُم بِوَكِيل

 

Say, “O Mankind! The Truth has come to you from your Lord.

Whoever chooses to follow the path of guidance, it is for his own good. And whoever chooses to go astray, does so to his own loss. I am not responsible for your conduct."

Surah Yunus, Verse 108

 

Funnily enough is the hard thing was supposed to be the tables in the park. Everything about the execution of the project was unknown to me. We were doing something for the first time. There was nothing but X factors from start to finish. But for that Qari Sahib had me read two nafal on Day One surrendering everything to Allah and Nabi Pak (peace be upon him). After that even when things seemingly didn’t go right, I didn’t feel bad or angry or worried. Everything about it was fine with me.

 

In the end everything is in a balance whether we see that or not. Everything is placed in the place it deserves to be placed in; that is the classical definition of adl, justice. Each single thing is held accountable for its own actions. Even inside the same person different parts, like the nafs and the qalb, cannot be blamed for one another.

 

Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani; “By its nature, the ease and satisfaction of the nafs lies in the world and its artificial and false adornments. The nafs desires the opposite of that which is commanded by God and this is what becomes its burden. In this state, it travels towards the most base of ranks and none other than the nafs can carry the weight of its weakness.

 

The qalb will not be held accountable or answerable for the encumbrances of the nafs as long as it is safeguarded from the regretful negativity of the nafs and possesses the light of imaan, faith. For in the intrinsic nature of the qalb is placed the love and desire of Allah.

 

Only when the qalb follows the nafs does Allah, in His Wrath, make the two equal. In this case, the mirror of the qalb becomes rusted by the habits and attributes of the nafs. When the qalb follows in the footsteps of the desires of the nafs and becomes trapped by its lusts, it loses its original intended purpose.

 

By Allah’s Command it was supposed to be the seat of taharat (purity), safa (cleansing), salamati (peace), zikr (remembrance), fikar (reflection), tauheed (One-ness), imaan (faith), tawakul (reliance), sidq (truth), ikhlas (sincerity) and bandagi (obedience). When it rejected this Command and fell into waywardness, it became liable for the burden of its sins.

 

Just as Allah has said;

 

كَلَّا بَلْ رَانَ عَلَىٰ قُلُوبِهِم مَّا كَانُوا يَكْسِبُون

 

Nay! But, their hearts have been corroded by what they do (earn).”

Surah Al-Mutaffifin, Verse 14

 

In my 30s I used to say to people if there was something that wiped the slate clean, no matter what someone did before, it was marriage. In my 50s, I learn repentance does the same. Within that it’s one thing when someone apologizes for something and entirely another when they do so with tears. It’s unlikely I will ever know the feeling of being the vice-regent of Allah on Earth, having been “created in the best mould” but this Ramzan I certainly experienced the asfala safileen, the depths of despair;

 

ثُمَّ رَدَدْنَاهُ أَسْفَلَ سَافِلِين

 

Then We returned him to the lowest of the low.

Surah At-Teen, Verse 5

 

Tafseer e Jilani; “Because of their own misdeeds, when Our Will decided it, we deprived Man from his highly exalted status and relegated him to the lowest of states where his fulfillment, desires and hopes are tied to the world.”

 

Still in the last ashara’, last 10 days of the month, which is exclusively for escape from the fires of Hell, I experienced Allah as Al-Ghafoor and Al-Wadood.

 

وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ الْوَدُود

 

And He is Oft-Forgiving, the Most Loving.

Surah Al-Burooj, Verse 14

 

Tafseer e Jilani; “He is bound by His Mercy to be the Forgiver and The One who hides sins. He erases the sins of those who repent with sincerity and become obedient, no matter what the sins are, in number or type. He loves the repentance of the sinner who asks for forgiveness with sincerity. When they plead before Him, when they are bent in fear and shame, when they are regretful of their sins, that ask for forgiveness is beloved to Him.

 

In the end, I felt sad that on the 27th of Ramzan I was not able to post the piece on the Quran that I had intended. Qari Sahib was still not well. Still we managed a phone call and I discussed some of my translations for this writing. Instead, I read the Quran. It so happened that I reached the last verse of Surah Al-An’am.

 

وَهُوَ الَّذِي جَعَلَكُمْ خَلَائِفَ الْأَرْضِ

وَرَفَعَ بَعْضَكُمْ فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ دَرَجَاتٍ لِّيَبْلُوَكُمْ فِي مَا آتَاكُمْ

إِنَّ رَبَّكَ سَرِيعُ الْعِقَابِ

وَإِنَّهُ لَغَفُورٌ رَّحِيم

 

It is He who has made you His Vice-regent on this Earth and has raised some of you in rank above others so that He might test you by means of what He has given you.

Your Lord is swift in punishment but He is also forgiving and Merciful to all.

 

My eyes read the tafseer of the verse and wept as I translated it, the words piercing my heart.

 

وَهُوَ الَّذِي جَعَلَكُمْ خَلَائِفَ الْأَرْضِ

 

“It is God who has sent you as His Appointee on this Earth as the one who is able to become the reflection of His Attributes.

 

وَرَفَعَ بَعْضَكُمْ فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ دَرَجَاتٍ

 

In gaining those Attributes He has made given some of you preference over others.

 

لِّيَبْلُوَكُمْ فِي مَا آتَاكُمْ

 

So you will be tested on the capabilities and strengths that were bestowed upon you to see if you are using them to consummate the purpose of your creation or for other means.

 

إِنَّ رَبَّكَ سَرِيعُ الْعِقَابِ

 

The one who destroys their natural ability without purpose will be punished swiftly.

 

وَإِنَّهُ لَغَفُورٌ رَّحِيم

 

Similarly, the one who heeds advice and seeks forgiveness and makes the intent to come towards the right path through repentance will find that Allah is Benevolent towards them.”

 

The road towards Tauheed, the One-ness of Allah, is paved with the dying of the will. Over and over, again and again. This Ramzan I learnt that quite literally. I experienced Hell but for an instant and it was unbearable. Prayers I uttered entirely in obedience to Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him), copying his words exactly, saved me from myself. The one that became my favourite was this;

 

قُلْ إِنَّ صَلَاتِي وَنُسُكِي وَمَحْيَايَ وَمَمَاتِي لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِين

 

Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you), "Indeed, my prayer and worship, and my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds.”

 

The words were so intense I had to look up Ghaus Pak’s (ra) tafseer of it.

 

Tafseer e Jilani: “Oh Messenger who completes prophet-hood, who is the reflection of the essence of Allah’s Tauheed, One-ness, say, while entrusting your entire affairs and all that which is happening with you and by you to your Lord, “Indeed, the inclination of all my organs and parts, my entire being (zahir and batin) and all my worship, which is the means of my gaining closeness and connection with my Lord in my life in this world and the Hereafter, are only and only for Allah, The One who is The Controller of all His Kingdoms by His Will in every aspect, for everything belongs to Him and He is the Lord of all the Worlds.”

 

It was a comforting relief for me to discover that which I love cannot become detestable to me. A feeling my nature considers sweet is not susceptible to change. The apparition was not my enemy. I did not have to dislike it if I loved it. My "sin" was my lunging towards it for the umpteenth time instead of patiently standing where I was and letting the ghost play its test out, whatever it was. After all, it appeared for a reason.

 

At each point in the journey when one stumbles, hope appears. If one is attached to those who stand at the destination as a result of being guided by Allah's Beloved (peace be upon him), there is always a beckoning from them to get up and move forward. There is no prolonged self-pity. There is no extended distress.

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says that the batin is the bird, the qalb its cage. The qalb a bird, the body its cage. The body a bird, the grave its cage. The grave is the cage for all creation that everyone has to enter. Before that dying come a thousand deaths for the seeker. And as I learnt, a thousand lives. Only through each does one edge towards fulfillment of purpose.

 

Sahel Tustari (ra): "The heart has a thousand deaths, of which the ultimate is being cut off (qaṭīʿa) from God, Mighty and Majestic is He; and the heart has a thousand lives, of which the ultimate is the encounter (liqāʾ) with God, Mighty and Majestic is He. Furthermore, with each sinful act the heart undergoes a death, and with each act of obedience it receives [new] life."

 

That Allah is His Infinite Generosity offers vice-regency to all human beings astonishes me. Even acquiring a single attribute of The Divine seems invisibly far. The hand of repentance, however, that reaches His Mercy via Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) brings everything in one's reach. Fresh starts, clean slates, new choices, different endings. In every moment, in every day. In the end, inspired by the hadith Qudsi I have learnt recently, I will find myself to be only that which I think I am.

 

Tafseer e Tustari: "Hazrat Sahel (ra) said: Struggle against your lower self with the sword of opposition! Place upon its [back] the burdens of remorse (nadam), and guide it through the desert plains of fear (khawf), so that you may turn it back to the path of repentance (tawba) and contrition (ināba). Repentance is not acceptable except from one who feels perplexed at his plight, grief-stricken at this situation, and confounded in his heart at what has happened to him."

 

www.youtube.com/channel/UCqb01bB-J3kyiu-HKIX2MKw

God's Standard of Justice:

www.theawaitedone.com/articles/2015/07/10/gods-standard-o...

 

Just how fair is God's system of justice, really? This article weighs in.

  

‏بِسْمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحْمَنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ ‎

Translated from the Arabic, the exegesis of 55 Verses from the Tafseer e Jilani by the Saint of Saints, Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jilani (ra),

the Master of all Spiritual Masters.

 

The Night of Ascension

 

From Al Yawaqeet Wal Jawahir by Imam Abdul Wahab Shuhrani (ra);

 

The Journey of Ascension from Sidrat ul Muntaha to the meeting with Allah is the climax of the travels that night. From this point on a new state comes about. Before him was a Realm of Nur, Divine Light, which were revealed everywhere. The manifestations of Allah’s Attributes and Essence had made alight the Realm of the Unseen. The guest of the Throne, the Mercy of the Universe (peace be upon him), Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) was made to enter this Realm alone.

 

First, one by one, he was made to pass through each of the veils of Allah’s Names and with each passing, he was soaked in the essence of each Name. In a state of wakefulness, as he absorbed the quality of each name, Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) felt slightly dazed as one might expect to feel in a moment of aloneness.

 

As soon as this state came upon his blessed heart, he heard a voice;

 

قف یا محمد ان ربک یصلی

 

“Stop O Muhammad (peace be upon you)! Indeed, your Lord will approach you (to welcome you).”

 

The Journey of Ascension up to this moment was a journey of love and honour. From this point onwards began the the journey of union. This is where the guest of the Throne reached Qaba Qausayn;

‏

1. and 2.

 

ثُمَّ دَنَا فَتَدَلَّىٰ ‎

 

Then he approached and He came down.

 

‏فَكَانَ قَابَ قَوْسَيْنِ أَوْ أَدْنَىٰ ‎

 

Until He was at a distance of two bow-lengths away or nearer.

Surah An-Najm, Verse 8-9

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Summa dana: Then he, Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him), went nearer to His Lord…

 

Fatadalla: And He, Allah, came towards him with an inseparable attachment through love, the type of attachment being like an embrace, such that…

 

Fakana: it became, that nearness …

 

Qaba Qausayn: like the distance between two bows, which were the bows of Al Wujoob, The One who is since forever and Al Imkaan, the one who exists because of Him, both preserving the dignity of being The Worshipped and the worshipper.

 

Au adna: Or even less than that (distance of two bows) because the Nasoot, all things that have to do with the world, of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) became fana, dissolved, in the Lahoot, the Realm of Nur, Divine Light. And after that whatever happened to the person of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) is whatever happened, or however close he came, he came (no one knows).

 

Qari Sahib: Note two things; First the verse plays out the Hadith Qudsi, “When a person walks towards me, I run towards them.” Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) approached, Allah came nearer. Two and most magnificent of all, the words in the Quran are not the same for to show that approach towards each other. For the Prophet (peace be upon him), it is dana – coming close. For Allah it is tadallah, which Ghaus Pak (ra) is translating as ta’allaqa – an inseparable attachment through love.

 

Hence it was revealed;

 

3.

 

‏فَأَوْحَىٰٓ إِلَىٰ عَبْدِهِۦ مَآ أَوْحَىٰ ‎

 

So He (Allah) revealed to His Servant what He revealed.

Surah An-Najm, Verse 10

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Fa auha: So He, Allah Glory is to Him, revealed and inspired directly upon the heart…

 

Ila abdi hi: of His Servant, as The One who is closer to His Beloved that his own nafs, self.

 

Ma auha: what He revealed from Divine Recognition and Realities and unveilings and witnessing, poured upon him from His Own Self, Glory is to Him. All of which was pure from the methods of (hearing and seeing) for a human being in the world. So he (peace be upon him) saw what he saw and Allah Subhan Ta’ala unveiled what He unveiled.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

Al Yawaqeet Wal Jawahir: The point of that demands attention here is the distance is not specified exactly to two bows but in fact, the ambiguities around distance and nearness were all dissolved and made to disappear by the word adna, or less. The only distinction that remained was that one was Allah, there is no deity except Him, and the other was His Beloved Servant, Huzoor Pak (peace be upon him). One was the Creator, Khaliq and the other the created, makhlooq.

 

It is to be noted that the conversation then between Love and His Beloved (saw) in those moments of aloneness were not revealed to anyone. No one knows anything about anything of the words exchanged between them then. Except that which Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) himself shared that when he met his Lord of the Universe, His Lord said to him, “

 

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكَ أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ،

 

Peace, the Mercy of Allah and His Blessings be on you, O Prophet (peace be upon you).

 

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْنَا وَعَلَى عِبَادِ اللَّهِ الصَّالِحِينَ

 

Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

“Peace be upon us and the Righteous Servants of Allah.”

 

Pir Mehr Ali Shah Sahib (ra) speaks to the meeting at the Night of Ascension in his most famed na’at Kithay Mehr Ali Kithey Teri Sana;

 

بے رنگ دسے اس مورت تھیں

وچ وحدت پھٹیاں جد گھڑیاں

 

The One without form and colour appeared in his (the Prophet’s (peace be upon him)) being,

when in their union, they became united.

 

دسے صورت راہ بے صورت دا

توبہ راہ کی عین حقیقت دا

 

This being (of Nabi Kareem) guides the Way towards the One-ness of Allah.

No, in fact, he guides towards His True Reality.

 

پر کم نہیں بے سوجھت دا

کوئی ورلیاں موتی لے تریاں

 

But this is not comprehensible for those without inner eyes,

so only the fewest amongst the few imbue such meaning.

  

4. Amongst countless bestowings, the only Favour

 

لَقَدْ مَنَّ ٱللَّهُ عَلَى ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِذْ بَعَثَ فِيهِمْ رَسُولًۭا مِّنْ أَنفُسِهِمْ

يَتْلُوا۟ عَلَيْهِمْ ءَايَتِهِۦ

وَيُزَكِّيهِمْ

وَيُعَلِّمُهُمُ ٱلْكِتَبَ

وَٱلْحِكْمَةَ

وَإِن كَانُوا۟ مِن قَبْلُ لَفِى ضَلَلٍۢ مُّبِينٍ ‎

 

Indeed, Allah has bestowed a favour upon the believers, when he raised in their midst an apostle from among themselves,

to convery His Messages unto them,

and to cause them to grow in purity,

and to impart unto them the Divine Writ as well as wisdom,

where as before that they were, indeed, most obviously, lost in error.

Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 164

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Laqad Mannallahu: By the Name of Allah, He bestowed a great Favour…

 

Ala al Mo’mineen: upon the ones who are sincere…

 

Id ba’atha fi-him: when he raised him, the Prophet (peace be upon him)), from amongst them for their guidance…

 

Rasool an: as a Messenger to be their Murshid, guide, who was brought up…

 

Min Anfusihim: in them to guide them with different types of guidance.

 

Yatlu alihim: First of all, he recites to them (the Quran) and makes them listen…

 

Ayati hi: to Allah’s Verses, which indicate towards the One-ness of His Essence.

 

Wa Yuzzakihim: Secondly, he purifies them from the evils whisperings of Satan and those desires that lead one astray from the Path of Allah’s One-ness.

 

Wa Yuallimuhim: And thirdly, he teaches them…

 

Al Kitab: the Book, which explains and clarifies to them the means to cleanse the overt, the zahir, as well as everything which is related to the apparent world.

 

Wa: Then fourthly he teaches them…

 

Al hikmat; the wisdom that purifies their inner being, the batin, from the inclination towards anything other than Allah, (both people and things), and which connects them to Sidrat al Muntaha, the Lote Tree, near which is Jannat ul Mawa, Heaven.

 

Wa in Kanu Min Qablu: And they were before the unveiling of these four stations…

 

Lafi Dalalin Mubeen: in clear waywardness and severe humiliation.

 

At the end then Ghaus Pak (ra) prays: “Ya Allah! By Your Bounty, save us from the sleep of those who are heedless.

Ameen!

 

Forgiveness and Mercy

 

5.

 

‏خُذِ ٱلْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِٱلْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ ٱلْجَهِلِينَ ‎

 

Keep to forgiveness (O Beloved (peace be upon you) and enjoin the good,

and turn away from the ignorant.

Surah Al Araaf, Verse 199

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

And when their state is such and their insistence upon this purpose (of denial and being wayward);

 

Khud il afwa: Choose always (and make your habit), O Messenger who completes the Message (peace be upon you), the path of forgiveness and softness. And turn away from anger (of the type of being upset with someone when you can exercise ability to do something about it) and becoming hard, because this is in line with the affection of the status of Prophet-hood.

 

Wa’mur bil urf: And enjoin them with good deeds, calling them to the Way of Allah, with wisdom and softness of words, that nation in which you see the possibility of being guided, with the light of Prophet-hood and Closeness (with Allah).

 

Wa aa’rid ana jahileen: And avoid the ignorant, who are stubborn. And if they argue with you, argue with the in the best way. Indeed your Lord knows well which of them is astray from His Path and He knows well also who is guided among them.

 

The First Hadith taught to Would-be Scholars:

 

الرَّاحِمُونَ يَرْحَمُهُمُ الرَّحْمَنُ،

‏‏‏‏‏‏ارْحَمُوا أَهْلَ الْأَرْضِ يَرْحَمْكُمْ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاءِ

 

‏‏‏‏The Prophet صلی ‌اللہ ‌علیہ ‌وسلم said:

Allah, The Compassionate One has mercy on those who are merciful.

Show mercy to those who are on the earth, He Who is in the Heaven will show mercy to you.

 

Man is a creature of haste

 

6.

 

‏خُلِقَ ٱلْإِنسَنُ مِنْ عَجَلٍۢ ۚ

 

Man is a creature of haste.

Surah Al Anbiya, Verse 37

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Khuliqal Insaan: Man was created, amongst all living creatures,…

 

Min ajl: as the one who craves the most haste in goodness and badness as if he was made from impulsiveness.

 

7.

  

‏وَيَدْعُ ٱلْإِنسَنُ بِٱلشَّرِّ دُعَآءَهُۥ بِٱلْخَيْرِ ۖ وَكَانَ ٱلْإِنسَنُ عَجُولًۭا ‎

 

And human beings pray for things that are wrong (as often) as they pray for things that are good. And human beings are ever hasty.

Surah Al Isra’a, Verse 17

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa: And overall, amongst the behaviour that is disliked, worldly and ugly…

 

Yad ul insaana: Man prays, being hasty (in his inner and outer being)…

 

Bi sharre: for that which is not good for him, so comes along, with that (prayer), that which he does not know about its evilness and its harmful consequences.

 

Dua’ahu bilkhair: (while he is) liking that which he is asking for as if it is good for him, due to his hastiness.

 

Wa kanal insaano: In Man’s nature is created haste (for himself) and he demands haste from others about that which he is inclined towards, even though it is detrimental for him.

  

The Marriage Equation

 

8.

 

وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ

إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

 

And among His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates so that you may find tranquility in them.

And He placed between you love and mercy.

Indeed, in that surely are Messages for a people who reflect.

Surah Ar-Rum, Verse 21

 

And it was necessary to go deep into the meaning of a word for an institution that most in the world now regarded as “failed.”

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa min ayati-hi: And one of the Signs that show His Majestic Authority (is)…

 

An khalaqa: that He gives to you in your control…

 

lakum man anfusikum: from your species and like you…

azwajaa: spouses, so that you do more than them in affection and inclination and give them regard to create the love. In fact, Allah has given you control over your spouses…

 

li-taskunu ilayha: so that they are your home and your refuge and you love them completely and you increase your offspring.

 

Wa: And like this is another wisdom…

 

ja’ala bainakum: He placed between you…

 

muwadda-tan: which is special and pure, love, that which arises only and only because of Allah’s Secrets, in a manner that cannot be comprehended what that love is and what its state is, why it exists and how it came about.

 

Wa: And His Perfect Wisdom which created from the zygote a child and it comes from the love.

 

Rahma-tan: A child like you who will keep your name and faith alive.

 

8. Commentary on the same verse by Hazrat Muhyuddin Ibn e Arabi (ra) for all people.

 

وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ

إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

 

And among His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates so that you may find tranquility in them.

And He placed between you love and mercy.

Indeed, in that surely are Messages for a people who reflect.

Surah Ar-Rum, Verse 21

 

Wa min ayati-hi: From Allah’s Actions and His Attributes, which cause to join towards His Essence by recognizing and traveling the paths of spirituality…

 

An khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwajaa: He created for the souls, the arwah, the nafs, the self, as their spouses…

 

Li-taskunu ilayha: so that the soul is inclined towards the nafs with muwaddat, (a special and pure love, that which rises only and only because of Allah’s Secrets, in a manner that cannot be comprehended what that love is and what its state is, why it exists and how it came about), and the soul takes effect from it and effects the nafs in turn.

 

Wa ja’ala bainakum muwadda-tan wa rahma-tan: And between them is unconditional love and tenderness so that the nafs loves the light of the ruh, the soul, and its effect upon it with acceptance, embracing its influence. Which makes the nafs remains calm from anger and become purified.

 

Then Allah sends His Mercy upon the nafs in the shape of the qalb, the Seat of Recognition of Allah, according to capability and capacity resulting from obedience. The nafs becomes guided by the blessing of this merciful qalb, learning its etiquettes and becoming joyous.

 

In turn, the soul loves the nafs by leaving its effect in it and shines its light upon it. Then Allah gives it the blessing of the qalb, soft and affectionate. The soul gains exalted ranks by the blessing of this qalb, because of which the soul gains perfection.

 

Inna fi dalika al la-Ayaat: In all of this are the Divine Attributes and Perfection

 

Li qaumi yatafakkaroon: for those who reflect, in their selves and in their souls and upon that which is their intrinsic nature, (the nafs), and that which is sent down upon them, (the ruh).

It was the part of the verse with the word muwaddat in it that was most captivating. Both the nafs and the ruh, the base self and the soul, communicated and understood each other though the qalb. So without the knowing, the recognition of God, the two would always remain alienated. Anger would eventually turn into rage. Calm would transform into ever increasing restlessness;

 

Wa ja’ala bainakum muwadda-tan wa rahma-tan: And between them is unconditional love and tenderness so that the nafs loves the light of the ruh and its effect upon it with acceptance, embracing its influence. Which makes the nafs remains calm from anger and become purified.

 

Then Allah sends His Mercy upon the nafs in the shape of the qalb, according to capability and capacity resulting from obedience. The nafs becomes guided by the blessing of this merciful qalb, learning its etiquettes and becoming joyous.

 

In turn, the soul loves the nafs by leaving its effect in it and shines its light upon it. Then Allah gives it the blessing of the qalb, soft and affectionate. The soul gains exalted ranks by the blessing of this qalb, because of which the soul gains perfection.

 

Subhan Allah! 

 

Iblis throws down the gauntlet

 

9.

 

قَالَ رَبِّ بِمَآ أَغْوَيْتَنِى لَأُزَيِّنَنَّ لَهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ وَلَأُغْوِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْمَعِينَ

 

Iblis said, "My Lord!

Because You misled me, surely, I will make evil seem goodly to them in the earth and I will mislead them all.

Surah Al-Hijr, Verse 39

 

I studied the verse with my teacher;

 

“Let’s go back a little,” said Qari Sahib.

 

The context of the verse is that Iblis said the line above after he was given the leeway to do what he wants by God. Which he asked for.

 

‏قَالَ رَبِّ فَأَنظِرْنِىٓ إِلَىٰ يَوْمِ يُبْعَثُونَ ‎

 

He said, "O my Lord! Then give me respite till the Day they are raised."

Surah Al-Hijr, Verse 36

 

Thus he is granted time to do what he wants. Now let’s look at what Ghaus Pak (ra) says about the exegesis of verse 39 where he vows revenge by misleading and making evil seem good;

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Qala: Iblis said, taking an oath to exaggerate his point…

 

Rabbi bima Aghwaytani: I swear upon the Truthfulness of your Authority, which has been the way through which You have mislead me and made me wayward, and made me fall from those high exalted ranks I possessed, and made me exit from between my beloved ones and my brothers (the angels)…

 

La uzzayanna lahum: I will beautify their deeds which are illegitimate and make them appear as good all their negative actions.

 

Fil Ard: and I will make them deluded so they will pursue all kinds of wrongful deeds and all types of crimes and those sins that their nature is inclined towards naturally.

 

Li Ughwayannahum: and I will mislead them, all of them collectively, so that none of them will be safe from me, anyone who has nafs Ammara.

 

Basically everyone!

 

Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani:

 

“You had made the behaviour of your nafs overpower the attributes of your qalb, which is the Seat of Recognition of Allah. This is because your good deeds were only for display and to claim good repute. Your purpose in following in the footsteps of the nafs was to receive things from this world that you thought would benefit you and showing truthful regard for your Lord was not your intention.

 

Still, he delivered you from painful punishment (for such acts) so that you would only desire to seek the Pleasure of Allah and occupy yourself only with His worship (by being mindful of Him at all times). If you were thus granted, due to His Mercy, advances in your spiritual ranks, don’t become stuck in them. Instead, move forward and continue to seek union with the Status and Stations of Allah’s Essence until you achieve success in reaching them.”

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) in Al Fath Ar Rabbani:

 

“What I say to you, listen to it through the ears of your qalb, the Station of Recognition of Allah in the heart, and remember it and bring it into practice. I want you to speak to me through the tongue of your qalb and be sincere in your deeds, such that you reach a point that I look at your state and say to you, ‘Well done!’”

 

“Remember! Makhlooq, creation, is the veil over your nafs, ego.

And your ego is the veil over your qalb that prevents you from recognizing your Lord.

And your qalb is the veil over your batin, the inner being.

So as long as you remain stuck with people, you will not be able to see your nafs.”

 

10. Iblis as attached as an associate

 

وَمَن يَعْشُ عَن ذِكْرِ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ نُقَيِّضْ لَهُۥ شَيْطَـٰنًا فَهُوَ لَهُۥ قَرِينٌ

 

And whoever turns a blind eye to the Reminder of the Most Compassionate,

We place at the disposal of each one from the party of Iblis as their close associate,

Surah Az-Zukruf, Verse 36

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa mayya’shu: and the one who turns away physically as well as from the heart…

 

An dikr Ar Rahman: from the Quran, which explains for this person the way to imaan, faith and irfaan, Recognition of Allah, due to excessive lustful desires and attractions for the senses which are worldly…

 

Nuqayyad lahu: We give control and power over him to…

 

Shaytan an: Iblis and his party, who misguides him, and seduces him and whispers doubts into his heart, and destroys him.

 

Fa huwa: Shaitaan then becomes…

 

Lahu Qareen: attached to him forever, beautifying for him that which is sinful and that which is wrong and makes him deluded into believing those things until he makes him enter into the fire which cuts and deprives him from Allah’s Mercy.

 

11. Following in the Footsteps of Satan

 

‏ يَٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا تَتَّبِعُوا۟ خُطُوَتِ ٱلشَّيْطَنِ ۚ

وَمَن يَتَّبِعْ خُطُوَتِ ٱلشَّيْطَنِ فَإِنَّهُۥ يَأْمُرُ بِٱلْفَحْشَآءِ وَٱلْمُنكَرِ ۚ

وَلَوْلَا فَضْلُ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَتُهُۥ مَا زَكَىٰ مِنكُم مِّنْ أَحَدٍ أَبَدًۭا وَلَكِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُزَكِّى مَن يَشَآءُ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌۭ

 

O you who believe!

Do not follow in the footsteps of Shaitaan,

and whoever follows in the footsteps of the Shaitaan then indeed, he commands the immorality and wrongdoing.

And if it were not for the Grace of Allah upon you and His Mercy, not one of you would have been pure,

but Allah purifies whom He wills.

And Allah is The Hearer of all things, The Knower of all things.

Surah An-Nur, Verse 21

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Ya ayyohalladina amino: O ye who believed in in the One-ness of the Maker and His Attributes and in Prophethood and all the Messengers and in the Shari’a which is for everyone and beneficial for all in terms of creating moderation in manners and rituals among Mankind, the reason behind you having faith, imaan, is that you go against your nafs, the base self, and your desires, both of which are from the force of Satan, the one who misleads and the one who takes away from the Path of Truth.

 

La tattibi’u khutowaat e Shaitan: Don’t walk in the footsteps of Satan and don’t follow his lead in the distribution of vulgarity and your love of sins.

 

Wa manyattabi: And who so ever amongst you, O believers, follows…

 

Khutuwaat e Shaitan: in the footsteps of Satan, the one who leads astray and entraps, he becomes astray and trapped.

 

Fa innahu: So indeed he, Satan…

 

Ya’mur: commands the one who follows him and considers him his leader…

 

Bil Fahsha: to be lewd and immoral in ways that go against nature and the laws of the faith…

 

Wal munkir: and to become a refuser of modesty and the Quran and the hadith.

 

Wa lau la fadullahi alaikum: And were it not for the Bounty of Allah upon you, who is the Protector for the correction of your states…

 

Wa Rahmatu hu: And His Mercy, which is in abundance and encompasses all His Servants…

 

Ma zaka: there would be no one saved or purified or made sincere…

 

Minkum ahadun: from amongst any of you from following in the footsteps of Satan…

 

Abadan: ever, for as long as you live, because following him has been placed in your nature (just as goodness has been placed in it), and following him appears beautified for you and readily accepted by your nafs…

 

Wa lakinn Allah: But Allah Ta’ala, the One who manages the affairs of His Servants…

 

Yuzzaki: inserts sincerity and purifies them from the traps of Satan and his evil promptings…

 

Mayysha: whom so ever He wills, by virtue of His Wisdom and His Control by which He forms the human being…

 

Wallahu: and He is fully Aware of what is in the overt and what in in the hidden…

 

Sami’un: He the Hearer of the words (of everyone)…

 

Aleemun: and the Knower of all backgrounds and all intentions.

 

The Hadith:

 

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

مَا مِنْكُمْ مِنْ أَحَدٍ إِلَّا وَقَدْ وُكِّلَ بِهِ قَرِينُهُ مِنْ الْجِنِّ

قَالُوا وَإِيَّاكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ

قَالَ وَإِيَّايَ إِلَّا أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَانَنِي عَلَيْهِ فَأَسْلَمَ فَلَا يَأْمُرُنِي إِلَّا بِخَيْرٍ

 

The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, “There is no one amongst you except that next to him is an associate from the Jinn (who propels him towards sin.)

 

The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Even with you?”

 

He replied, “And even with me except that Allah helped me against him and he surrendered so (now) he doesn’t say order me towards anything except goodness.

 

Sheikh Nurjan, one of the most important living Masters of the Naqshbandi Silsila:

 

“The Auliya Allah – the Friends of God – and their disciples receiving training from them teaching this, ‘Live a life because someone wants to know if they are Mukhlis, sincere. Are they just Muslim and they accepted religion, any religion because whether you are Jews or Christians or Muslims, these are all titles, are you one who submits your will to the Will of The Almighty? For then you become Muslim, the one who submits their will to the Will of the Divine.

 

Then you come to the next maqam, station, which is to be a Mo’min, a believer. And Allah says, ‘Don’t say you believe, just say you accepted.’”

 

Iblis spares no one:

 

Imam Raazi (ra) was a Persian polymath, Islamic scholar and a pioneer of inductive logic. He wrote various works in the fields of medicine, chemistry, physics, astronomy, cosmology, literature, theology, ontology, philosophy, history and jurisprudence.

 

He was one of the earliest proponents and skeptics that came up with the concept of Multiverse, and compared it with the astronomical teachings of Quran. A rejector of the geocentric model and the Aristotelian notions of a single universe revolving around a single world, Al-Raazi argued about the existence of the outer space beyond the known world.

 

“When he was on his deathbed, Iblis came to the Imam (ra) to give his last best effort to make break his faith, take it away from him.

 

With this in mind, Iblis asked him a question, “You spent your entire life in seeing the Signs of Allah and loving Him. Did you ever recognize God?”

 

The Imam (ra) replied, “Without doubt Allah is One.”

 

Iblis said, “Where is your proof for it?”

 

Imam Fakhar al Din al Raazi (ra) gave him a daleel (an argument as evidence). Iblis, once the Ustad of the Angels, dismissed the argument. The Imam (ra) presented a second case. He defeated that as well. The conversation continued until the Imam (ra) had given 360 arguments and Iblis had dispelled all of them. The Imam (ra) became gravely perplexed and started to lose hope.

 

Imam Fakhar al Din al Raazi (ra) was the disciple of Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra), one of the most favoured disciples of Ghaus Pak (ra). Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) could see the whole incident unfolding before him from afar.

 

He was performing ablution and during it, he called out to his disciple, “Why don’t you just say, ‘I have brought faith upon God without any argument.’”

  

Who is the one saved from Iblis

 

12. The ones who rely solely on Allah

 

إِنَّهُۥ لَيْسَ لَهُۥ سُلْطَـٰنٌ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَلَىٰ رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ

 

Indeed, there is for him (Iblis) no authority over those who have believed and rely upon their Lord.

Surah An-Nahl, Verse 99

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Inna hu laysa hu sultan an: Indeed he, Iblis, has no ability to capture and overcome…

 

A’la lladina a’mino: the ones who believe in the One-ness of Allah and have certainty in the truthfulness of Allah’s Books and His Messengers and the Day promised and that which will be given in reward that Day.

 

Wa; And along with this

 

Al’a Rabbi-him: they rely on their Lord and no one else from the sources and means of day to day life and…

 

Yatawakkaluna: they surrender and they entrust all their matters to Him for sure.

 

And also:

 

13. Iblis admits his helplessness before the Sincere

 

‏إِلَّا عِبَادَكَ مِنْهُمُ ٱلْمُخْلَصِينَ ‎

Except the sincere among your worshippers.

Surah Al-Hijr, Verse 40

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Al Mukhliseen: The Sincere are the ones who have saved their necks from the noose of the nafs e Ammara (the lowest self of three). They are the ones who are content and steadfast, standing firmly on the Station of seeking the Pleasure of Allah and surrendering.”

 

Tauba - Repentance

 

14. Except he who repents

 

‏إِلَّا مَن تَابَ وَءَامَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًۭا صَلِحًۭا فَأُو۟لَٓئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ ٱللَّهُ سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ حَسَنَتٍۢ ۗ

وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا

 

Except he who repents and believes and does deeds righteous,

then for those will replace Allah their evil deeds with good ones.

And is Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Surah Al-Furqan: Verse 70

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Illa man taba: The one who repents over his wrongful deeds made by wrong decisions, and return to Allah regretful for them these deeds which rendered him in a state of loss and harmfulness. When he returns to Allah ashamed, in fear of His Punishment, declaring his nafs to be the liar, making it feel ashamed, sighing and feeling sad about that which has passed in his life...

 

Wa: and along with all this…

 

Aamana: he believes in Allah’s One-ness and strengthens his repentance by renewing his faith, imaan, enjoining it with sincerity, and keeping other believers safe from committing sins against the faith, (so overall; He renews his faith, believing, sighing regretfully, for the times when he was committing sins and not being a Mo’min)...

 

Wa: (again) with repentance and renewing of his imaan…

 

Amila amilan salihan: he does good deeds, based on sincerity in that faith and that repentance, knowing of its certainty and recognition of those good deeds.

 

Fa ulaika: So these are the fortunate ones who repent and return and are accepted by Allah. Only these are the ones who…

 

Yubadilullahu: Allah, Al Hakeem, The Wise One, Al Muslihu, The Reformer, changes the states of His Servants, after He gives them the ability for sincere repentance and a truthful return…

 

Sayyatihim: (He changes) their bad deeds committed before their tauba, repentance, into…

 

Hasanatin: good deeds afterwards. This is such that Allah, by His Bounty, erases their sins which have been written on their records before their repentance (before Him), and in exchange he writes for those sins, good deeds.

 

Wa Kana Allahu: And Allah is The One Well Informed of the secrets of His Servant and of his sincerity.

 

Ghafoor-an: He is The Forgiver, the One who lets go their sins no matter how major they are after they have come with sincere repentance.

 

Rahim-an: He accepts with His Mercy their tauba and forgives them their sins.

 

It took us two classes to translate the verse and I saw myself in only the first three words; illa man tab - except he who repents.

 

15. The one who repents is extended forgiveness

 

‏فَمَن تَابَ مِنۢ بَعْدِ ظُلْمِهِۦ وَأَصْلَحَ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَتُوبُ عَلَيْهِ ۗ

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌ

 

But whoever repented from after his wrongdoing and reforms, then indeed,

Allah will turn in forgiveness to him. Indeed, Allah (is) Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Surah Al Maidah, Verse 39

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Faman ta’aba: So the one who repents and returns towards Allah sincere (in heart), in fear (of reckoning)…

 

Min ba’ada dulmihi: after he transgressed boundaries set by Him …

 

Wa aslaha: and reformed themselves with repentance (by returning towards Allah with sincerity) for the corruption that they have brought upon their own nafs (self) by disobeying Allah’s Orders.

 

Fa innallaha: Indeed, Allah is Al Musleh, The Reformer of all states of His Servant.

 

Yatubu alaihi: And Allah also turns towards Him and accepts his tauba, repentance, after giving him the ability for that repentance.

 

Innallaha: Without doubt, Allah is the One who is Al Muyassir, the One who gives ease in all matter for His Servants…

 

Ghafur an: He is the Forgiver of all their sins.

 

16. Repent and reform

 

‏إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ تَابُوا۟ مِنۢ بَعْدِ ذَلِكَ وَأَصْلَحُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌ ‎

 

Except those who repent from after that, and reform[ed] themselves.

Then indeed, Allah (is) Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 3

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Illaladina taabu: Except for the ones who were repentant amongst them in this life.

 

Min ba’ada dalika: then after this, they who had turned away from the faith and become astray…

 

Waslahu: then reformed their state with repentance and sincerity of the heart, seeking forgiveness, expressing regret upon that which they did…

 

Fa Innallaha: Indeed, Allah is Al Muwwafiq, the One who gives the ability for the tauba,

 

Ghafur-an: concealing their crimes…

 

Rahim-an: Affectionate, letting go of their mistakes.

  

17. From Darkness into Light

 

‏ٱللَّهُ وَلِىُّ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ يُخْرِجُهُم مِّنَ ٱلظُّلُمَتِ إِلَى ٱلنُّورِ ۖ

 

Allah is the Protecting Guardian of those who believed.

He brings them out from the darkness towards the light.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 257

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Allahu: The One who is the Gatherer of All Attributes and All Names…

 

Walliulladina Aamino: He is the Friend of those who bring faith upon Him. He raises them, according to His Qualities and all that He encompasses (which is everything)…

 

Yukhrijjuhum min adulumaat: and brings them out of the darkness, which is the darkness of their nature and darkness of their doubts (of possibilities) and all other darkness…

 

Ilan Noor: towards the Light, crystal clear, His Pure One-ness, free of dust and all other associations.

 

18. The strategy of Satan is weak

 

إِنَّ كَيْدَ ٱلشَّيْطَنِ كَانَ ضَعِيفًا

 

Indeed, the strategy of the Shaitaan is weak.

Surah An-Nisa’, Verse 76

 

Inna kayda Ash Shaitan: Indeed the plotting of Shaitan, as compared to the planning of Allah and His Response to his cunningness…

 

Kana daeefan: is insignificant and without influence.

  

The Delusion of the World

 

الدنيا ظل زائل

The world is a shadow, disappearing.

Maula e Kayinaat, Hazrat Ali (ratu)

 

19. It is all that it is

 

وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا مَتَعُ ٱلْغُرُورِ

But is not the life of the world anything except the enjoyment of delusion.

Surah Al-Hadeed, Verse 20

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Mal Hayatud duniya illa: In the eyes of those who are ahraar, free before their Lord, who are detached and not bound by their desire or will or need or anything else, who have reached the rank of ae’tabar, certainty and istibsaar, witnessing by the eye…

 

Illa Mata ul ghurror: according to these ahraar, the life in the world is an illusion that deludes and is false like a mirage. And the one who is caught in that deception and starts indulging in whatever is in the world, then indeed, he become deserving of destruction and ruin. And is rendered deprived of the Peace in Allah’s Closeness and the Tranquility of His Presence.

 

20. Wealth and children are trials

 

‏إِنَّمَآ أَمْوَلُكُمْ وَأَوْلَدُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌۭ ۚ

وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُۥٓ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌۭ ‎

 

Verily, your wealth and your children are a trial, and Allah - with Him is a reward great.

Surah At-Taghabun, Verse 15

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Innama amawalkum wa auladakum fitna: Without doubt, your wealth and your children are a trial great and an intense test for you. So it is incumbent upon you to not show-off because of them. For they are both a web of Satan’s party and ropes by which they (appear to) entangle you because the party of Satan and their ropes, (both of these), want to stop you from Allah’s Path by beautifying your wealth and children for you and making them beloved for your hearts so you become occupied by them both, so you are withdrawn from the company of the Mukhliseen, the sincere.

 

Wa Allahu inda hu ajrun azeem: Allah has the greatest reward for those who are sincere, who keep away from focusing on anything other than Him at all.

 

21. All is an adornment

 

إِنَّا جَعَلْنَا مَا عَلَى ٱلْأَرْضِ زِينَةً لَّهَا لِنَبْلُوَهُمْ أَيُّهُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلًا

 

(Truly we have made all that is on Earth as an adornment for it)

that We may try them, as to which of them is best in their deed.

Surah Al-Kahf, Verse 7

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Inna ja’alne ma ala alardi: Without doubt We created upon this Earth three basic things; animals and humans, vegetation, and buried treasures. And Ee created whatever else comes from this Earth; different tastes and different lusts, which are physical or fantasy.

 

Zeenatal laha: These are adornments for it that make it (the world) beautiful and attractive…

 

Ayyuhum ahsan amlan: to see which of them (Mankind) has the best deeds and these deeds are the ones which are completed with true guidance and reflection by detachment from the world. And the absence of focus towards it and staying away from its enjoyment which is an illusion. And staying away from the distraction it creates and its lusts which bring with them all kinds of pain and difficulties and desires. It is these wishes which in turn cause different sins and crimes.

 

It is then imperative that in this world then one lives in a single room and wears a single outfit and eats simply, for everything else is just debris which is transient, which inherits sinfulness and trials.

 

22. Listen, obey, spend

 

‏فَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مَا ٱسْتَطَعْتُمْ وَٱسْمَعُوا۟ وَأَطِيعُوا۟ وَأَنفِقُوا۟ خَيْرًۭا لِأَنفُسِكُمْ ۗ

وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ ‎

 

So be mindful of Allah as much as you can and listen (to Him) and obey and spend,

it is better for your selves.

And whoever is saved from their own greed, those are the successful ones.

Surah At-Taghabun, Verse 16

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Fattaqu Allah ma astata’tum: So be conscious of Allah as much as you can and make Him your Protector for yourselves from the delusions Satan inserts and the trials that come due to him…

 

Wasma’u: and listen carefully the Words of Allah with the ears of surrender and acceptance…

 

Wa ati’u: and obey His Commands and stay away from what He forbids and don’t become disobedient from His Orders at all.

 

Wanfiqu: and spend from that which Allah has given you. Allah has made you His Vice-regent so obey His Order (to be obedient) and to seek His Pleasure and do all that He Commands, especially sacrifice and spending…

 

Khairallakum: is best for you, in this world and will be a treasure for you in the next life. And the greatest benefit of this spending is that it will save your nafs, self, from the dishonor and humiliation of miserliness.

 

Wa mayyuqa shu’ha nafsihi: And the one who was saved from stinginess of the nafs by giving and spending…

 

Fa ulaika: these are the ones who are fortunate and the ones who personify the attributes of large heartedness and generosity…

 

Hum ul muflihoon: and they are the ones who are rendered successful by Allah with great rewards and the highest ranks.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

23. The ones who spread vulgarity

 

‏إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يُحِبُّونَ أَن تَشِيعَ ٱلْفَحِشَةُ فِى ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌۭ فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا وَٱلْءَاخِرَةِ ۚ

 

Indeed, those who like that immorality should spread among those who believe, will have a punishment painful in the world and the Hereafter.

Surah An-Nur, Verse 19

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Then said Allah as a warning to all peoples;

 

Inna: Indeed the mufsideen, the ones who spread harm and those who transgress His Boundaries…

 

Alladina Yuhibbuna: they are the ones who love, from the wickedness of their inner beings (the batin)…

 

An Tasheeh’: and they exhibit and spread…

 

Al Fashiha: vulgarity that is considered ugly by the reflecting mind as well as the Sharia’ (Islamic Law)…

 

Filladina Amano: amongst those who have belief i.e. amongst the Mo’mineen.

 

Lahum: For them is the punishment for the publishing and distributing (of such material)…

 

Azabun Aleem: which is painful and scary…

 

Fi Duniya: in the world physically

 

Wal akhira: and in the Hereafter with flames of fire.

 

24. Man is a Transgressor

 

‏كَلَّآ إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَنَ لَيَطْغَىٰٓ ‎

‏أَن رَّءَاهُ ٱسْتَغْنَىٰٓ ‎

 

Indeed, Man surely transgresses all bounds,

whenever he sees himself to be self-sufficient.

Surah Al-Alaq, Verse 6-7

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

And so Allah says admonishingly;

 

Kalla inna al insaana: Surely Man, who has been born from the lowest of the matter (smelly earth, sperm) and then given the highest ranks which reach the zenith of dignity and praise…

 

Layatgha: he transgresses all the limits set by Allah and assumes arrogance before Him, forgetting the original lowly materials of his creation.

 

Ar ra’ahu: For he thinks he is all in all, assuming that on his own…

 

Astaghna: he is self-sufficient and becomes careless about Allah and thinks that he needs nothing from Him. He becomes prideful with His Servants, and walks on this Earth arrogantly because of the debris which he has collected from this world and its transient attractions.

  

The End of Al-Araaf – from the Tafseer e Jilani

 

In those days, I was reading Surah Al-Araaf from the Tafseer e Jilani. Ghaus Pak (ra) starts and ends each Surah with an address. The first, the beginning, is for the ones Chosen by Allah, the extraordinary. The end is for the rest of us, the ordinary. When I reached it and read what Ghaus Pak (ra) said to me, the reader, I was struck by how it was always all about Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him);

 

“O one who turns their direction towards the Qibla of Ahmed (peace be upon him) and who intends to reach the destination of the One-ness of Allah through Muhammad (peace be upon him)! It is imperative for you to…

 

May Allah give you guidance towards the the Straight Path and enjoins you to the Station of Tauheed.

 

…turn your attention towards the states of your qalb, the seat of recognition of God, and remember what is in it from your Lord’s as gifts, through investigation and quest for these treasures, whilst avoiding that which places you in doubt from the dust of obscurity of others, so that you reach the standard of receiving admonition and trust.

 

That you do it in a way that the evil prompting of the plotter, Satan, does not come into your heart. Nor the betrayals of the world with their deceit and unfaithfulness. None of this will be achieved by you except with remembrance through Allah’s Book which has advice and information and history. So obey the commands it orders and forbids and reflect on its overt secrets and the unveiling of its wisdom and its hidden secrets.

 

It is incumbent upon you that if you want to receive true guidance from the Book, you have to enjoin yourself with the ahadith of Rasool Allah (peace be upon him). Because the ahadith are meant to explain it, reveal the secrets and signs in it, and make clear that which is ambiguous in it. The ahadith will give you the security you need to have true belief and secure you from slipping and turning away from guidance. It is the ahadith that which take you, according to your capacity, to the path of One-ness.”

 

25. The Guiding Friend

 

مَن يَهْدِ ٱللَّهُ فَهُوَ ٱلْمُهْتَدِ ۖ

وَمَن يُضْلِلْ فَلَن تَجِدَ لَهُۥ وَلِيًّا مُّرْشِدًا

 

Whoever guides Allah and he is the guided one,

and whoever He lets go astray then never you will find for him a protector,

or a guiding friend.

Surah Al-Kahf, Verse 17

 

I studied the verse form the tafseer of Ghaus Pak (ra) to see what he meant by “guiding friend.”

 

Waliyan: A friend, who helps him in his affairs by interceding for him, so that the friend can save him from the waywardness that is naturally present (in all people in the nafs). And he delivers him from the punitive consequences of what the nafs will bring upon him.

 

Murshid an: The friend is the one who shows him (the way of the Sharia’) and guides him (through the path of spirituality) towards the Straight Path.

 

Imam Maalik (ra) said;

 

من تفقه ولم يتصوف فقد تفسق

ومن تصوف ولم يتفقه فقد تزندق

ومن جمع بينهما فقد تحقق

The one who follows Fiqh, Islamic Jurisprudence, but does

not purify the heart,

so indeed he becomes a fasiq, defiantly disobedient.

 

The one who purifies the heart and ignores the laws of Jurisprudence,

he becomes a zindeeq, of the disbelievers.

 

And the one who gathers them both, indeed he attains

certainty and arrives at the truth.

 

As someone who tends to pay little attention to the Sharia, I was amazed; I could become a zindeeq, a heretic!

 

26. Those who are Mindful – the Muttaqi – are reminded

 

‏إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوْا۟ إِذَا مَسَّهُمْ طَٓئِفٌۭ مِّنَ ٱلشَّيْطَنِ تَذَكَّرُوا۟ فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ

 

Indeed, those who are mindful and conscious of Allah, when touches them an evil thought from the Shaitaan,

they remember Allah and then they are those who begin to see things clearly.

Surah Al-Araaf, Verse 201

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Then said Allah reminding His Beloved (peace be upon him);

 

Innalladina ittaqau: Those who are conscious and mindful of Me amongst My Servants, they are in a routine such that…

 

Ida massahum: whenever touches them and tries to overcome them…

 

Taifun: the sender from Satan who awaits and encircles their hearts…

 

Min Ash-Shaitan tadakkaru: they remind themselves of what they been commanded to do and what is forbidden for them from Allah…

 

Fa idahum: so in the same moment, due to the remembrance of what has been commanded and that which is forbidden…

 

Mubsiroon: they become able to differentiate the placement of the sins and therefore become careful of them and come into the Refuge of Allah from those things that put them into false illusions about Him.

 

27. When anger is stirred

 

وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ نَزْغٌ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ

 

If an evil suggestion come to you from Satan stirring you (to blind anger),

then seek refuge with Allah. Surely He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

Surah Al-A’raf, Verse 200

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa Imma Yanazaghannaka: So if reaches you whispers which then disappear, thus placing you in a state of disruption…

 

Min Shaitaan: it is from Shaitaan, who influences you physically through the organs which cause anger and stokes the ego in a way that is only ignorant creating a false sense of dignity…

 

Nazghun: causing doubts and delusions that persuade you to become angry and take you out of the state that you have been ordered to stay in, which is tolerance and softness of behaviour.

 

Fasta’iz billah: So come into the Refuge of Allah from these entrapments and return to Him from these doubts and this plotting. He is with His Glory Enough to protect you from his evil and treachery.

 

Inna hu: Indeed, Allah is Pure from everything that is negative…

 

Sami’un: and is the Acceptor of your prayers,

 

Aleem: and the Fulfiller of your needs.

 

Said Maula e Kayinaat, Hazrat Ali (ratu);

 

إِذَا قَدَرْتَ عَلَى عَدُوِّكَ

فَاجْعَلِ الْعَفْوَ عَنْهُ شُكْراً لِلْقُدْرَةِ عَلَيْهِ

 

Whenever you gain power over your adversary,

keep practicing forgiveness,

out of gratitude (to God), for the control you gained over them .

 

28. The Wickedness and Goodness in Us

 

‏وَنَفْسٍۢ وَمَا سَوَّىٰهَا ‎

 

Consider the human spirit and who perfected it.

Surah Ash Shams, Verse 7

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wa nafsin: Allah takes an oath upon the spirit that receives nourishment from His Names and Attributes, which is revealed in all forms which are named (by Him). The spirit comes into the organs (in these bodies), both higher (the angels) and lower (Mankind) so that everything can gain benefit from the remembrance of their origin and their true purpose of existence.

 

Wa ma sawaaha: And He takes an oath on Himself who made this spirit, meaning He made it moderate and created it as a compound fitted with the influences of the higher (heavenly) and the lower (earthly) elements.

 

29-31: To succeed or fail

 

فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَىٰهَا

‏قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّىٰهَا ‎

‏وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّىٰهَا ‎

 

And He inspired it (to distinguish) its wickedness and its righteousness.

Indeed, he succeeds who purifies it,

And indeed, he fails who buries it (in darkness).

Surah Ash Shams, Verse 8-10

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Fa alhamaha fujuraha wa taqwaha: So He inspired it (the nafs) to both, wickedness and mindfulness, according to that which is placed in it from the forces of heavens as well as of the Earth. Then He burdened it according to what it can bear so that the one who is truthful can be differentiated from the one who is false, and the astray from the guided, and the denier of Truth from the believer, completing the wisdom, which is rooted in certainty, which reaches the Essence of Allah and which reflects the Dominance of His Power.

 

Qad aflaha man zakkaha: Indeed he was successful and prosperous due to the success He prospered by receiving from Allah the highest ranks…

 

Man zakkaha: the one who cleansed his nafs from the vileness of the world and from the possibilities of the demands of its desires and its lusts.

 

Wa qad khaba: And he was in a loss and ruined himself…

 

Man dassaha: the one who prevented the nafs from reaching its higher level (from Ammara, corrupt to Mutma’inna, content) and made it wayward. He did this by persuading it to be disobedient and sinful, which was done due to the demands of its base nature, its lustful desires and the wickedness of the world. This persuasion is what makes it deserving of different kinds of losses and deprivation and humiliation.

 

Maqam al Ummiya – The Station of being an Ummi

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

“Amongst the 124,000 Prophets and 313 Messengers, the maqam, station, of being Ummi is specific to only the Last Messenger (peace be upon him). Never before has the word been used previously for any Prophet or Messenger.

 

The Meaning of Ummi: The word Ummi is derived from the word umm which means origin or source or root. So Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) is Ummi because he is the origin of everything. For example, Mecca is called Umm ul Qura because it is the origin and first of the cities. The Quran is called Umm ul Kitab because it is the base and source of all the books.”

 

32. Those who deny the Afterlife

 

‏إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ بِٱلْءَاخِرَةِ زَيَّنَّا لَهُمْ أَعْمَلَهُمْ فَهُمْ يَعْمَهُونَ ‎

 

As for those who will not believe in the life to come – behold, We made their own doings appear goodly have unto them, and so they stumble blindly to and fro.

Surah An-Naml, Verse 4

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Then said Allah according to His Sunnah everlasting in His Book:

 

Innaladeena la yu’minoon: Those who do not affirm and testify that…

 

Bil akhirati: there is an Afterlife, out of pride and out of stubbornness…

 

Zayyana: We make good…

 

Lahum a’malahum: the ugly, the evil and the worldly acts for them and we give them time for a while, such that they become deserving of the worst punishment and the worst end.

 

Fahum: So these people because of Us giving them this time, they are intoxicated in their addictions and their waywardness…

 

Ya’mahoona: wandering in a state of bewilderment, proud, showing off of their luxurious lives and their blessings.

 

33. The Guided and the Astray

 

‏أَفَمَن زُيِّنَ لَهُۥ سُوٓءُ عَمَلِهِۦ فَرَءَاهُ حَسَنًۭاۖ

فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُضِلُّ مَن يَشَآءُ وَيَهْدِى مَن يَشَآءُۖ

فَلَا تَذْهَبْ نَفْسُكَ عَلَيْهِمْ حَسَرَتٍۚ

 

Is, then, he to whom the evil of how own doings so alluring that he regards it as good?

For verily, Allah lets him go astray who wills to go astray, just as he guides him that wills to be guided.

Hence, O Allah’s Habeeb (peace be upon you), don’t let your sorrow over them destroy you.

Surah Fatir, Verse 8

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

A faman zuyyana lahu soo’u amalihi faraahu hasanan: Does the human being think that Shaitaan, Satan, has made his sinful deeds for him attractive, when in fact they are entirely wrong. This happens because of his false beliefs and wicked thoughts, so how can he be like the one who is in fact good in his matters and his faith? Can it be that the two become equal and deserving of the same reward? Never ever!

 

Fa Innallaha: The One who possess all Honour (Al-Mutazziz), who has Supreme Authority and Majesty, who controls all He wants…

 

Yudillu: He makes (some) wayward from the Path of Tauheed, according to His Wrath and according to His Majesty…

 

Mayya sha’: those of His Creation who are disobedient, sinking them in waywardness and making them lost…

 

Wa yahdi maayya sha’: and He guides and gives guidance (to others), for indeed, this is what is asked for as help by them first of all. This (Decision) is a function only and only of Allah’s Will and His Choice. Nothing is allowed to interrupt that or become involved in it in any way whatsoever.

 

Fa la tadhab nafsuka: So don’t exhaust yourself, O Beloved (peace be upon him), and don’t be a cause of your own extreme anguish and torment…

 

Alaihim: over the ones who are astray, though you love for them guidance and wish it for them…

 

Hasaraat: feeling sad for them and sorry for them, pining over this wish of yours for them again and again feeling that sorrow for them, layering grief upon grief because of their waywardness and refusal to accept guidance.

 

Then in repeating the meaning again Ghaus Pak (ra) says for emphasis:

 

“For that person who thinks his sin is goodness and thinks the deed is good for his nafs and believes it to be correct, all the time being unaware that it is in fact falsehood. This is the reason he has turned from the Right Path, thus totally distancing himself from guidance.

 

And you, O Beloved Messenger (peace be upon him) who completes The Message, will you torture yourself over them in sorrow wondering all the whole; “Why don’t they accept guidance and why don’t they bring faith?” Indeed, Allah makes astray those He wishes to make astray and guides those He wishes to guide. So don’t feel badly for them.”

 

34. Allah has full knowledge

 

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلِيمٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

 

Indeed, Allah has full knowledge of what they do.

Surah Fatir, Verse 8

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

In Allaha: No doubt, Allah is The One is watching all states…

Aleemun bima yasnaoon: And He knows everything that they do. He will give them the result of their evil and wrongful deeds, so don’t belabor yourself for them over that which they are missing in instruction and guidance.

 

35. The Reward of Amil Saleh – Good deeds

 

‏مَنْ عَمِلَ صَلِحًۭا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌۭ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُۥ حَيَوٰةًۭ طَيِّبَةًۭ ۖ

وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ ‎

 

Whoever does righteous deeds whether male or female while he is a believer, then surely We will give him life, a good life,

and We will pay them their reward to the best of what they used to do.

Surah An-Nahl, Verse 97

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Man amila: The one amongst you who does deeds…

 

Salihan: the deeds that We accept and that make you accepted by Us…

 

Min zakiran: by the men amongst you…

 

Au unthawa: or the females, in the state that they are…

 

Huwa: during the performance of the deed…

 

Mo’min: (if they are) believers in the One-ness of Allah, testifying to His Books sent upon them and His Messengers, obedient to all that which The Last Messenger (peace be upon him) brings, wanting increase in their ranks from Ilm ul Yaqeen, Knowledge of the Truth, to Ayn ul Yaqeen, Witnessing of the Truth, towards Haq ul yaqeen the Truth of the Truth…

 

Falanuh ya yanna hu: We, Allah, surely give them life after the death of their worldly needs and lusts and when they withdraw and become detached from their animalistic instincts by their will and choice,

 

Hayatan tayyaba: We give them a pure life with actual purity which is eternal, without the stain of death (for it is everlasting) and loss, which is devoid of the ill of expiry and finality, which is cleansed of all grudges and ills (of the heart) which are connected to the overt life (in the world).

 

Wa lanajzeeyannahum ajrahum: and We will give them the reward of their deeds and their patience which they exercised against fulfilling the demands of their base self in their overt life…

 

Bi ahsana ma kanu yamuloon: with the best and most abundant of rewards for their deeds which they performed when they traveled towards Us, wanting of the union with Our Pure One-ness.

 

36. Each soul earns its doing

 

‏لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا ٱكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ

 

Allah does not burden Allah any soul with more than its capacity to bear.

For it is every good that it earned, and against is every evil it what it has incurred.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 286

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

La Yukallifullaha: The Allah who guides towards Him does not place any burden…

 

Nafsan illa Wusaha: upon any soul more than it can bear i.e. except that which it can bear, according to its capacity and strength and capability, which He set in His Ever-Present Knowledge for this purpose. So this makes clear…

 

Laha Ma Kasabat: that the soul will only be rewarded for its virtues and good deeds according to the capability of its nature.

 

Wa Aliyha Maktasabat: and it will be held accountable for that which it earns from its wrongful deeds, due to following the powers of the nafs, self, as much as follows it because it is the abode of all degeneration.

 

37. Allah is the Protector

 

وَٱللَّهُ يَعْصِمُكَ مِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ ۗ

 

And Allah will protect you from the people.

Surah Al Maidah – Verse 67

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wallahu: The One who safeguards every state of yours (O Beloved (peace be upon you))…

 

Ya’simuka: and protects you…

 

Min: from the harm of…

 

An-naas: people and that which they plot to kill you and hurt you. And Allah will defend you against the injuries they want to inflict upon you with His Power and His Majesty.

 

38. So be patient, O Beloved (peace be upon you), for you are in Our Eyes

 

وَٱصْبِرْ لِحُكْمِ رَبِّكَ فَإِنَّكَ بِأَعْيُنِنَا ۖ

 

So be patient with your Lord’s Judgement for you are, indeed, in Our Eyes.

Surah At-Tur, Verse 48

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wasbir: O Messenger who completes The Message (peace be upon him)!

 

Li Hukmi Rabbika: By the Order of your Lord, be patient with these people who are malevolent. Since He gave them time till the Day of Judgement and you will be amongst them, He gave you the strength to be steadfast on the different forms of vexation from the pain and difficulties they create in you. So don’t become hasty in inciting His Anger towards them so that He may destroy them and don’t fear their plotting and betrayal towards you.

 

Fa innaka: For indeed...

 

Bi A’yunina: You are in Our Special Safeguarding and Our Surrounding and Our Fortress. We are Enough for you and your grief and difficulty that comes because of others’ malice, We are Enough for you. And don’t pay any heed to them and don’t care about their wickedness and their deceit. And don’t move away from Us because of them and their enmity towards you.

 

39. What is a spouse for Ghaus Pak (ra)?

 

قُلْ أَؤُنَبِّئُكُم بِخَيْرٍ مِّن ذَٰلِكُمْ ۚ

لِلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوْا۟ عِندَ رَبِّهِمْ جَنَّـٰتٌ تَجْرِى مِن تَحْتِهَا ٱلْأَنْهَـٰرُ خَـٰلِدِينَ فِيهَا وَأَزْوَٰجٌ مُّطَهَّرَةٌ وَرِضْوَٰنٌ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ ۗ

وَٱللَّهُ بَصِيرٌۢ بِٱلْعِبَادِ

 

Say, O Prophet (peace be upon you), “Shall I inform you of what is better than all of this?

(‘This” being he enjoyment of ˹worldly˺ desires—women, children,1 treasures of gold and silver, fine horses, cattle, and fertile land.)

Those mindful ˹of Allah˺ will have Gardens with their Lord under which rivers flow, to stay there forever, and pure spouses, along with Allah’s pleasure.”

And Allah is All-Seeing of ˹His˺ servants,

Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 15

 

As a single person I looked up the word azwaaj specifically. I knew Ghaus Pak’s (ra) tafseer of the word would have something for me as well.

 

Wa azwaaj: Deeds and states

 

Verses 40-55 continued on flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51684479886/in/dateposted-...

 

Continued from Part I of The Upside of Humiliation: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52272860962/in/datepos...

 

From a lecture on his person: “The grief of the event, his witnessing of it, never left him for a single second his entire life. Not for an instant. So let’s look at grief for a moment. What is it? It is an emotional and psychological experience that we undergo after some loss. It applies to all kinds of losses. But then there is a term bereavement. Which is a specific type of grief. It is what you undergo when you lose a loved one.

 

We will still use the word grief for the purpose of this lecture. Grief is an individualized process. You cannot generalize it. Everybody’s reaction and endurance of it is unique. There can be no time limit set for how long it should be felt. The stages defined by psychology in the West are denial, anger, bargaining (with God), depression, and finally acceptance.

 

There are two kinds of grief, acute and prolonged. Acute is a shock, the pain is sharp but transient. The Sufis call it a meaning making tone. When you start making sense of things. Prolonged grief is an emotional crisis, almost like a paralysis.

It’s a numbness, a social withdrawal, total pain. It causes dysfunctionality. Grief has four components; separation distress, traumatic distress, guilt and remorse and social withdrawal.

 

But Hazrat Zain ul Abideen’s (as), the unmatched social reformer of his time, a political reformer, his reaction and way of dealing with pain, for him the answer lay in three verses in the Quran. For what someone might face as a test once in a while over a lifetime, he underwent it all in nine days.

 

‏وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّبِرِينَ ‎

 

And surely We will test you with something of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good news to the patient ones.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 155

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa lunabluwannakum: And We test them, Allah takes an oath on Himself, We will test you and we will place you in a trial, testing your steadfastness and your reach in Allah’s Tauheed, His One-ness…

 

Bi shayin: just a little, which will tell of most of it (your steadfastness) and the duality (of your reach in Tauheed)…

 

Min al khauf: from something of fear that comes from things that you hate that are external for e.g. fire, drowning, an enemy etc…

 

Wal joou’: and from something that comes from the things that you despise that are internal like greed and (excessive) hopes and miserliness and such…

 

Wa naqsim minal amwaal: and a little bit of loss of possessions which make your hearts incline towards them naturally…

 

Wal anfus: and a little bit of loss of something that belongs to your self which make you feel strength and pride because of them, from your children and your siblings and your relatives and your clan…

 

Was samaraat: and something of fruits, which are dependent on possessions and children, which grant honour and your showing off of your domination upon the enemy.

 

Wa bashirr: And give them glad tidings, O Akmal Ar Rasool, The Messenger who perfects The Messengers (peace be upon him and his family)…

 

As Saabireen: the patient ones among the ones who are certain in Tauheed and they…

 

‏ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌۭ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَجِعُونَ ‎

 

Those who, when strikes them a misfortune, they say, "Indeed, we belong to Allah and indeed we towards Him will return."

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 156

 

Alladina ida asabathum museebatun qalu: are the ones who when affliction touches them, they say with collective union in their tongue…

 

Inna: Indeed, We are a shadow…

 

Lillah: of Allah Al Wahid, The One One, Al Ahad, The One and Only, Al Mutajjali, The One who reveals and unveils with His Perfect Names and His Exalted Attributes in this world…

 

Wa inna: and indeed we are, after our returning in the Afterworld…

 

Ilayhi: towards Him and not towards anyone other than Him from the shadows (of association)…

 

Raji’oon: the ones returning, the ones who make the returning of the shadow towards The One who created the shadows.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

‏أُو۟لَٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَتٌۭ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌۭ ۖ وَأُو۟لَٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ ‎

 

Those are the ones, on them are blessings from their Lord and Mercy.

And those are the guided ones.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 157

 

Ulaika: They are the ones, happy, steadfast in the place of Tauheed, who are cleansed from the imprisonment of time and space, being and not being.

 

Alaihim: Upon them, not upon other than them from the people of ranks, is…

 

Salawaat: His Inclination and His Focus, which rise from the Ocean of His Essence, flowing from the streams of Attributes and Names towards the Cosmos of Appearance to grow Divine Recognition and Truth which make one reach towards the Giver of the Eternal Blessings and towards an enjoyment that lasts forever, pouring upon them forever…

 

Mir Rabbihim: from their Lord who brought them to the Place of Honour…

 

Wa rahmatun: and Mercy which covers them, and no one other than them, in abundance.

 

Wa ulaika: And they are the Al Wasiloon, the one who reach..

Hum ul muhtadoon: as the guided ones towards the True Origin and the True Abode.

 

I was left speechless.

 

There was an incident in the lecture about Imam Zain ul Abideen’s (as) blessed person which created a reflection. As if I could see the verses through his being. At one point the Imam (as) was imprisoned by his arch enemy Marwan. Zuhri, the Supreme Justice of the court of the time went to see him. Seeing his condition, shackled in chains, hardly any food and water, he fell on his feet and crying, expressed how something like this could happen to one of the sons of the one who brought the faith to this world.

 

Imam Zain ul Abideen (as) only said this: “It is enough for make me feel proud that in Karbala my father was beheaded and left without a burial, without even clothes, his body trampled by horses. It is enough to make me feel proud that my aunt and my sisters were made to sit bareback on camels for a thousand miles without a veil, when no one even set eyes on their shadow before and I was dragged behind them in markets through cities.”

 

It was the word he used in Arabic, fakhar, that I knew. It exists in Urdu but I still had to look it up to make sure I was translating it right: something that makes you proud!

 

And I thought about what Allah Subhanahu had said to Hazrat Bayazid Bastami (ra) when the means to gain what he had been told: his ilm, knowledge, his taqwa, restraint, piety and mindfulness, and his sakhawat, generosity had not granted him his heart’s only desire, Nearness, closeness, qurb!

 

“Bayazid, Come to me by way of that which I am not,” Allah Subhanahu had said.

 

“But what is it that you are possibly not?” The saint had asked, baffled.

 

He received the answer, “Humility and humiliation.”

 

Everything the Imam (as) was describing sounded like nothing but the purest and deepest humiliation a human being could possibly experience. Yet he was proud of it. I wondered, just like the martyr sees Allah in his final moment of life in this world, hence his title shaheed, the witness, was the Imam (as) and his blessed family seeing Allah Al Baseer, The Seeing One, throughout the time of their pain? Like their father, Imam Ali (as) who never prayed a sala’t where he didn’t see his Lord?

 

Perhaps that was why even in those 10 days of Karbala, never did any person of the household of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) miss a single raka’t of the 1,000 they prayed every single night. When I, if I haven’t eaten properly the night before, find myself tired and making excuses to shorten my dawn prayers, which are hardly of length to begin with.

 

Imam Zain ul Abideen (as) said to Zuhri, “You believe me to be helpless?”

 

He looked down and Zuhri narrates, ‘I looked at the Imam’s (as) hands and the shackles were broken and he said to me, Put them back on again.’

 

Zuhri said I placed the chains around his wrist and asked,

 

“What was that Ya Imam (as)?”

 

He replied, “This is surrender to the Pleasure of your Lord God. We only do that which is His Pleasure and nothing else.”

 

Was it any wonder they were the ones Chosen Ones whose capacity was deeper than oceans?

 

يَخْتَصُّ بِرَحْمَتِهِۦ مَن يَشَآءُ ۗ

 

He chooses for His Mercy whom He wills.

Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 74

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Yakhtassu bi rahmatihi: He chooses for His Mercy, a Mercy Expansive, All Encompassing, a Mercy which is a collection of Excellence and Perfection…

 

Mayya sha’u: whom He wills from His Chosen Worshippers, honoring them with His Bounty from Himself, according to their capacity, whose (that Mercy’s) depth cannot be known and its boundary cannot be estimated.

 

I realized then that my humiliation, it could never make me feel fakhar. It was a courtesy of my nafs. I chose it every time. Almost always, it misguided me by making me believe I was softer and kinder than others, hiding from me all the while that it was just proud. It thought in secret for me to only discover later, I was imagining I was better than the other. Like Iblis!

 

I ticked all the boxes of transgressors; wicked, disobedient, hypocritical, angry, ruled by my tabyat, impatient. The only thing I had going for me was that I always felt deep regret. I instantly apologized. I yearned to be forgiven so repentance poured forth from me.

 

The lecture on Muharram continued: “Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) said that in the first instance of the difficulty, patience must be exercised. Not hours or days later. Not thinking one needed time to “process.” In the first instant. Meaning what? That the family of the Prophet (peace be upon him and them) understand that every relationship is through and from Allah alone. It is never yours to lose. Nothing is yours. It all belongs to only Him.”

 

When I had first started feeling confused about the coldness of the behaviour of someone who seemed to be walking on air days ago around me, it was Qari Sahib who happened to say something in a class that made my heart calm.

 

“Before you rely on someone,” he was quoting Ghaus Pak (ra), “Kissi pe bharosa karne se pehle uss se dosti karo. (Before you rely on someone, make sure they are your friend!) And how do you know anyone for sure? Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) says through three things; either live next to them as their neighbor so you know how their days and nights are timed, travel with them so their character is revealed or engage in business with them to see their morals.”

 

The verse from my last video appeared before my eyes: it was always easy to rely on God. He had already said He was my Friend. And His Beloved (peace be upon him and his family).

And Imam Ali (as) for whom specifically, the verse descended.

 

‏إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ ٱللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُۥ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱلَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَيُؤْتُونَ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَهُمْ رَكِعُونَ ‎

 

Your only Friend is Allah and His Messenger, and those who believe,

and those who establish prayer and give zakat and they are those who bow down in prayer.

Surah Al Maida’, Verse 55

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Inna walliyyukum Allah: Indeed, Allah is your Friend, The One who is in charge of your matters as related to all kinds of ordinary love…

 

Wa Rasooluhu: and so is His Messenger (peace be upon him and his family), who is His Vice-regent second to Him, also in charge…

 

Walladina aamino: and those who brought faith in Allah with a special love (extraordinary) because of their following the Prophet (peace be upon him) and they…

 

Alladina yuqeemoona: are the one who are forever…

As salat: in prayer that brings one close to Allah’s Essence…

 

And yu’toona az zakata: and they give charity which cleanses their batin, inner being, from focus on anything other than Allah…

 

Wa: in the state of…

 

Hum rak’ioon: bowing in their prayer.

 

Huzoor Ghaus Pak (ra) says the verse is revealed for Maula Ali (may Allah gives honour to his countenance), when a beggar asked him (for alms) while he was in ruku’, bowing in prayer, and he loosened his ring so that it dropped (for him to take).

No wonder all my friendships fizzled into thin air one by one. How else was I going to learn that Innama, only three were my friends!

 

At first when I started to apply the rule of Wahjurhum hajran jameela, my nafs only brought me further humiliation in every encounter. The rule had been given. The key word was “avoid” and then it appeared again, “with gracious avoidance.” My nafs decide to ignore exactly that word. It would say to me on random days, “Well if we’re having a lunch and inviting four people, can’t we invite a fifth?”

 

It would sound reasonable enough so I would. Then would come the slap of humiliation from the other end. On another day it would say, “If we’re going to the same place an hour away, might as well driver together.” I would agree and a harder slap would come. “We’re in the area,” it would suggest, “let’s stop by and say hi.” And the humiliation would further intensify.

 

Until I understood why only because of the kindness of my guide who guides all guides!

 

In those days, one night I would read Al Fath Ar Rabbani and in it Ghaus Pak (ra) would say: Knowledge without the application of deed will only take you back to creation again and again.

 

Basically towards humiliation instead of towards dignity.

I realized what I was doing or rather was made to realize it because I was constantly reiterating the verse of avoidance in the lectures with the kids. I would circle back to it all the time. But I was tweaking the rule. Hence, the rest of its application was rendering it void. It wasn’t even that it was without result. It was having the exact opposite effect. Instead of bringing me into safety, my nafs was forcing me into harm.

 

So I reminded myself:

 

Wahjurjum: leave them and turn your attention away from them…

 

Hajran jameela: with beautiful avoidance, smiling, cheerfully,

without inclining towards their false delerium (confusion and reduced awareness)

and without consideration for them or looking after them

and without speaking to them

and with tawakkul, reliance upon Allah and entrust the matter of avenging them to Him. For indeed, He is Enough for you regarding their supply of misdeeds and ridicule.

 

It took me two weeks to apply the rule correctly. For 14 days I burned in the hell of my own creation. But each time I brought the blame upon myself because of another verse that lives with me every single day of my life to the point that I memorized it to utter in the prostrations of my namaz:

 

وَلَوْ أَنَّهُمْ إِذ ظَّلَمُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَهُمْ جَآءُوكَ فَٱسْتَغْفَرُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ

وَٱسْتَغْفَرَ لَهُمُ ٱلرَّسُولُ لَوَجَدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا

 

And if they, when they wronged themselves, come to you and asked forgiveness of Allah,

and the Messenger (peace be upon him) asked forgiveness for them,

surely, they would have found Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Surah An-Nisa’, Verse 64

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa lau annahum: And if they, without doubt, due to the intensity of their ghaflat, forgetfulness and hypocrisy…

 

Id zalamu anfusahum: that which befalls you of affliction, (which is) harmful, not submitting to you (O Beloved)…

 

Jaa’uka: they must come to you as the ones who repent, the one who are apologetic because of that which happened from them…

 

Fastaghfarullah: then they ask for forgiveness from Allah (being) sincere and regretful…

 

Wastaghfara lahum Ar Rasoolu: and The Messenger (peace be upon him) also asks for forgiveness for them through intercession and praying before Allah, asking for the acceptance (of the person by Him) after they have come as the ones who are apologetic…

 

Lawajadullaha: surely, they will find Allah (to be) and they will testify to Him being the One who grants Bounty and Mercy…

 

Tawwaban: (and find Allah to be) The One who accepts their repentance…

 

Raheeman: The One who is Merciful to them and grants them ability to do this (go the The Messenger (peace be upon him).

I was ghafil, forgetful, (of the rule). I was a hypocrite. I had lied to my nafs so I trained it to lie to me. Except now when it spoke I believed it and those lies only harmed me. I believed them just like once it believed me.

 

Sigh!

 

I had quoted the above verse on forgiveness countless times. But this time different words were hitting me like arrows as I read it in repetition:

 

My affliction came upon me from my own self because I didn’t submit, not to Allah Subhanahu, but His Beloved (peace be upon him and his family).

 

When I appeared before him then, tired, sad, needing release from what I had done which had imprisoned me, I needed to be

1.apologetic

2.regretful

3.repentant

4.sincere

5.then again feeling regret

6.then again being apologetic

 

A common friend had asked me when I finally started refusing invites, “Will you not ever meet again?”

 

“No,” I said, “We might. But I’m not thinking about it.”

 

I knew I would never take any steps to initiate contact. My friend became silent. She asked if I needed an apology for a shift to happen, hinting that it seemed unlikely. I smiled.

 

“I’ve had this experience many times before,” I said, “I hold no grudge. You will only find me smiling and cheerful,” I laughed, feeling again that pang of gratitude that I did not have to act cold. My heart still liked them. I did not need to distress it with a false sense of dignity.

 

Pir Naseeruddin Naseer (ra) says the person who does something wrong and does not apologize or express regret, their heart is sealed. Since it is the exercise of a choice, the person, perhaps unconsciously, becomes defiant. Disobedient. The Quran defines such a person as a fajir and Maula e Kayinaat (as) said to his son just before his passing;

 

و ایاک و مصادقۃ الفاجر فانہ یبیعک بالتاقۃ

 

And avoid the Fajir, the one who is defiant about his disobedience and insistent upon it,

for, without doubt, he will sell you for nothing.

 

The elusive “sell me for nothing” line was now crystal clear. Anyone entirely governed by their tabyat, acquired nature, was in a constant state of fear or sadness. Whereas the Friends of God never felt either because they controlled their tabyat while we were controlled by ours.

 

أَلَآ إِنَّ أَوْلِيَآءَ ٱللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ

 

Verily, the Friends of Allah, there will be no fear upon them and not they will grieve.

Surah Yunus, Verse 62

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Ala Inna auliya Allah e: Al Munkhalaeena, the ones who are detached from the demands of being human in total, Al Munsalekheena, the one who are far from the requirements of desires of their selves in totality...

 

La khauf-un alayhim wa la hum yahzanoon: there is no fear upon them nor do they feel grief because fear and sadness, they only come from the effects of the tabyat, (the secondary nature that is acquired from outside), and the pursuit of that which fulfills it.

 

Not to mention the layer of forgetfulness, likely the top layer of the tabyat. My being existent or non-existent for them, it was the same.

 

And suddenly I was free! Not from one relationship or two but all that held no sincerity towards me. Smiling and cheerful!

 

And of all things I was the one in a place, courtesy of the hadith of my Nabi, who is Rauf and Rahim (peace be upon him and his family), where I might be rendered love from my Lord for executing a command perfectly.

 

إنَّ اللهَ تعالى يُحِبُّ إذا عمِلَ أحدُكمْ عملًا أنْ يُتقِنَهُ

 

Indeed, Allah The Exalted One loves when one of you does a deed exactly as it should be done.

 

The hadith brought home the point of the verse that when every single person was in the same boat of khusr – loss. The only possibility of separation from that state, any distinction, was a deed, salih, good.

 

‏وَٱلْعَصْرِ

إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ

‏ ‎ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ

‏

(Allah takes an oath) upon time,

that the human being is surely in a state of loss,

except those who believe and do righteous deeds…

Surah Al-Asr, Verses 1-3

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Wal Asr: Then Allah Suban Ta’ala takes an oath upon time and the ages, the meaning of which is about the Eternal Essence of Allah, from the beginning till the end, Timeless and Everlasting.

 

Innal Insaana: Indeed, the human being, created such to have a natural propensity towards the nature of ma’rifa, the Recognition of God and imaan, faith according to his share of the Lahoot, the Realm of the Divine, where there is no time and space…

 

Lafe khusr: is in a state of loss, immense and humiliating failure, as a result of their busyness in that which is useless due to the requirements (and needs) of his physical being, as related to his share of the world of Nasoot, the life in this world.

 

Illa: Except the Muqinoon, those who possess inner certainty…

 

Alladina Aamino: about the One-ness of Allah Subhan Ta’ala and are conscious, through their steadfastness, in their behaviour continuously in His Kingdom and about His Authority.

 

Wa: And with this faith and certainty…

 

Amilos Sualihaat: they do good deeds which points towards their ikhas, sincerity and their yaqeen, absolute conviction, and niyyat, intention.

 

“When someone makes a particular action beautiful, Allah falls in love with that person,” a friend who is a scholar told me. “But the problem lies in us humans defining beauty itself. As long as my fitrat, the core being of a human being as created by Allah remains saleem, pure, then I will have a proper consciousness of beauty. I will call a beautiful thing beautiful and an ugly thing ugly.

 

But if my nature gets corrupted, then things become the opposite. If my tabyat, which is acquired by my habits and environment, overpowers the fitrat, ugly things become beautiful for me and beautiful things become ugly. What is beautiful loses its worth. That is the problem with the corruption of the soul. That is why one of the meanings of Islam is keeping the fitrat safe. That is why in the Hereafter Allah says what will save you is your qalb, your heart within the heart which recognizes Him, if it is saleem.”

 

I looked up the verse he quoted:

 

‏إِذْ جَآءَ رَبَّهُۥ بِقَلْبٍۢ سَلِيمٍ ‎

 

Remember when he came to his Lord with a pure heart.

Surah As Saffat, Verse 84

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Remember, O Messenger who completes the Messengers (peace be upon you and your family), the time when…

Id ja’a Rabbuhu biqalbin saleem: when he, the Prophet Ibrahim (as), came to his Lord with a heart perfect, intact from all of the inclinations false and opinions untrue.

In another lecture I came upon the most interesting definition of freedom from within my faith, of being free as a human being.

 

“What is freedom?” the scholar asked his audience. “The first question one has to ask is freedom for what and freedom from what. If you cannot answer these questions, you don’t understand what freedom is.

 

Freedom is defined as removing the obstacles from my path of prosperity and evolving. But removing others from my path of freedom is easy. The problem arises when I am the block in my own path of freedom. That is the challenge. What if I am the hurdle in my spiritual or socio-economic or moral progress.

 

The Quran addresses both social freedom and individual freedom through the context of sending Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family).”

 

The he quoted the verse:

 

لَقَدْ مَنَّ ٱللَّهُ عَلَى ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِذْ بَعَثَ فِيهِمْ رَسُولًۭا مِّنْ أَنفُسِهِمْ

يَتْلُوا۟ عَلَيْهِمْ ءَايَتِهِۦ

وَيُزَكِّيهِمْ

وَيُعَلِّمُهُمُ ٱلْكِتَبَ

وَٱلْحِكْمَةَ

وَإِن كَانُوا۟ مِن قَبْلُ لَفِى ضَلَلٍۢ مُّبِينٍ ‎

 

Indeed, Allah has bestowed a favour upon the believers, when he raised in their midst an apostle from among themselves,

to convey His Messages unto them,

and to cause them to grow in purity,

and to impart unto them the Divine Writ as well as wisdom,

where as before that they were, indeed, most obviously, lost in error.

Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 164

 

I had translated its tafseer so I went back to it.

 

Laqad Mannallahu: By the Name of Allah, He bestowed a great Favour…

 

Ala al Mo’mineen: upon the ones who are sincere…

 

Id ba’atha fi-him: when he raised him, the Prophet (peace be upon him)), from amongst them for their guidance…

 

Rasool an: as a Messenger to be their Murshid, guide, who was brought up…

 

Min Anfusihim: in them to guide them with different types of guidance.

 

Yatlu alihim: First of all, he recites to them (the Quran) and makes them listen…

 

Ayati hi: to Allah’s Verses, which indicate towards the One-ness of His Essence.

 

Wa Yuzzakihim: Secondly, he purifies them from the evils whisperings of Satan and those desires that lead one astray from the Path of Allah’s One-ness.

 

Wa Yuallimuhim: And thirdly, he teaches them…

 

Al Kitab: the Book, which explains and clarifies to them the means to cleanse the overt, the zahir, as well as everything which is related to the apparent world.

 

Wa: Then fourthly he teaches them…

 

Al hikmat; the wisdom that purifies their inner being, the batin, from the inclination towards anything other than Allah, (both people and things), and which connects them to Sidrat al Muntaha, the Lote Tree, near which is Jannat ul Mawa, Heaven.

 

Wa in Kanu Min Qablu: And they were before the unveiling of these four stations…

 

Lafi Dalalin Mubeen: in clear waywardness and severe humiliation.

 

At the end then Ghaus Pak (ra) prays: “Ya Allah! By Your Bounty, save us from the sleep of those who are heedless.

I re-read each word carefully. Through the perfect being of Ajmal Ar Rusul alone, the most beautiful Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) because he is the noor who brings, reveals, unveils and clarifies it, the Book cleanses the overt. Through the wisdom he alone teaches, the inner is purified.

 

But before both he does the tazkiya, the purification of thought.

 

As Qari Sahib says, “For purity to enter, the vessel must be pure!”

 

I counted the number of times the verb hada’, to guide, appeared in the verse. Only through his guidance, seeking it, staying in it, came the safety from the whisperings of Satan and one’s own desires, unending and dictated by the nafs.

In another verse, I saw an additional meaning of what malice in the breast is: selfishness, duality.

 

I was noticing how Mankind was entirely blanketed in self-centeredness courtesy of the addiction to technology. For the first consequence of any addiction, be it sick love, eating, watching tv or holding a phone 24/7, is selfishness. The second cause of wickedness of the heart, was duality. Which Ghaus Pak (ra) defined as hopes and expectations associated with others.

 

وَنَزَعْنَا مَا فِى صُدُورِهِم مِّنْ غِلٍّ تَجْرِى مِن تَحْتِهِمُ ٱلْأَنْهَـٰرُ ۖ

وَقَالُوا۟ ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ ٱلَّذِى هَدَىٰنَا لِهَـٰذَا وَمَا كُنَّا لِنَهْتَدِىَ لَوْلَآ أَنْ هَدَىٰنَا ٱللَّهُ ۖ

 

And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of malice.

Flows from underneath them the rivers.

And they will say, "All the praise (is) for Allah, the One Who guided us to this, and we were not to receive guidance if not (had) guided us Allah. Certainly, came Messengers of our Lord with the truth."

Surah Al-Araaf, Verse 43

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: After they have entered the Heaven of Tauheed, One-ness…

 

Naza’na ma fi sudoorihim min ghill-in: after We erased from their breasts, duality and selfishness

 

Tajri min tahtihal anhaar: (the Heaven) under which flow rivers of Ma’rifat, Knowledge of God and Haqaiq, Realities of the Essence of God, sprouting from the Ocean of the His One-ness.

 

Wa: After their unveiling due the dissolving of their identity and they triumph in the Everlasting Existence of Allah…

 

Qaalu: they said, with the capability of their tongues as inspired by Allah, that they may become steadfast on gratitude…

 

Alhamdo: praise and admiration that rises from tasleem o raza, surrender and acceptance…

 

Lillah alladi hada-na li hada: for The One who made us reach the status of contentedness and the Place of the Honour of meeting Him…

 

Wa ma kunna li nahtadiya: Which we would not have reached if we had stayed in the company of our desires and the darkness of our selves…

 

Lau la an hada-na: were it not for his Lutf, Kindness and Endless Generosity and Vast Mercy.

 

I memorized the second verse instantly to utter in my prostrations.

 

The lecture continued: “The Rasool (peace be upon him and his family) has been sent to cleanse your overt and inner beings. So in fact he has been sent to free you from your own self that shackles you.”

 

I went back to my notes from my lecture for the kids and looked up the list of what emanates from my self to remember exactly the definition of those “shackles:”

 

وَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ وَنَعْلَمُ مَا تُوَسْوِسُ بِهِۦ نَفْسُهُۥ ۖ

 

And certainly We created man and We know what his self whispers to him.

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And We…

 

Na’alamu: We know him from that point…

 

Ma tuwaswisu: (as to) what whispers and makes up a rambling story…

 

Bihi nafsohu: from his own self and sways his heart (from that point) until now from

1.those kinds of delusions and false imaginings

2.and those things that descend upon him as animalistic desires

3.and those thoughts that are imprisoned by the chains of rituals

4.and shackles of inherent habits that are inherited

5.as a result of useless ponderings which are mixed with unthinking paranoia.

 

I began to look up the verses the scholar had quoted to emphasize that there was only one original source of tazkiya, purification. There was only one human being that Allah Subhanahu had chosen, appointed, named in all His Other Books and announced that he in turn, determined and then commanded, solely, what was intrinsically beneficial and what caused harm for the self.

 

The lecture continued: “Ma’roof is that which my fitrat knows and recognizes as good and munkir is that which my iftrat knows is sinful and wrong. So the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) does not command anything that the fitrat dislikes and only commands that which it already knows as good.

 

For the Quran repeatedly uses the words “transgression of boundaries” in the context of the injustice we do to our own selves. Not the injustice we perpetrate on others. Not the injustice others impose on us. The focus is always brought to one’s own nafs al Ammara. Similarly he only forbids that which the fitrat already knows is harmful for it. Nothing else! There is no conflict in his instruction and order for the soul.”

 

Then he quoted the verse which I translated with Qari Sahib:

 

ٱلَّذِينَ يَتَّبِعُونَ ٱلرَّسُولَ ٱلنَّبِىَّ ٱلْأُمِّىَّ

ٱلَّذِى يَجِدُونَهُۥ مَكْتُوبًا عِندَهُمْ فِى ٱلتَّوْرَىٰةِ وَٱلْإِنجِيلِ يَأْمُرُهُم بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ

وَيَنْهَىٰهُمْ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ وَيُحِلُّ لَهُمُ ٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ

وَيُحَرِّمُ عَلَيْهِمُ ٱلْخَبَـٰٓئِثَ وَيَضَعُ عَنْهُمْ إِصْرَهُمْ وَٱلْأَغْلَـٰلَ ٱلَّتِى كَانَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ

فَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِهِۦ وَعَزَّرُوهُ وَنَصَرُوهُ وَٱتَّبَعُوا۟ ٱلنُّورَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أُنزِلَ مَعَهُۥٓ ۙ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ

 

Those who follow the Messenger, the Ummiyy Prophet (peace be upon him) whom they find written with them in the Torah and the Injīl ,

and who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair,

and makes lawful for them good things,

and makes unlawful for them impure things,

and relieves them of their burden, and of the shackles that were upon them.

So, those who believe in him and support him, and help him and follow the light sent down with him, - those are the ones who are successful.

Surah Al Ara-af, Verse 157

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wahum: And they are…

 

Alladina yatti’buna As Rasool: the ones who follow the Messenger (peace be upon him), the one who was sent with the Essence of One-ness (Al Mursil bi Tauheed)…

 

An Nabiyya: the Prophet, Al Mutammim li mukarim il akhlaq, the one who was sent to complete the nobleness of manners (upon Allah’s Akhlaq, His Attributes)…

 

Al Ummiya: the one who is Al Muttahaqiq, the one who was made inevitable, Al Makhsoos, the one who was made uniquely special with Ilm il Luduni, the Divine Knowledge, which was taught to him from his Lord without acquisition (from other means), without effort, without any formal training from any teacher, and he is…

 

Alladi yajidoonahu: who they find in all of the books of the faiths…

 

Maktooban: written about in those books, about his being sent and his religion and his name and his appearance and all of his attributes…

 

Ayndahum fi Torat wal Ineel: in the Torat and in the Injeel, Bible, that when he will announce his Prophet-hood…

 

Ya’monohum bil ma’roof and yanhahum ayn al munkir ya

yahillu lahum tayyebaat: who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair, and makes lawful for them the good things, which they forbid upon their own selves…

 

Wa yuharrimu alaihum al khabais: and makes unlawful for them impure things, which they made lawful for themselves…

Wa aidan: And also…

 

Yada’u anhum israhum: relieves them of their loads i.e. the burdens which they carry by leaving the world and detaching from it, which was more than their strength to bear, just like they cut their bodily parts by which they sinned and just like they cut the cloth they wore if it became soiled and other than this…

 

Wa; he also made them free…

 

Al aghlaal: of their shackles i.e. the painful difficulties…

 

Allati kanat alaihim falladina aamino bihi: which came upon them. So those who believed in him, (the Messenger peace be upon him), when he was sent and gave his invitation (towards the One-ness of Allah)…

 

Wa azzaruhu: and they honoured him in the way that he was deserving of honour and glorification…

 

Wa nasaruhu: and they helped him, supporting him in his religion…

 

Wstaba’u an Noor: and they followed The Light, which is the Quran…

 

Alladi unzila ma’hu: which is sent with him from Allah to help him and to testify…

 

Ulaika: these are the ones who are the fortunate and radiant and accepted by Allah. They are the Al Muwwafiqoon, the ones given the ability to follow him.

 

Humul muflihoon: It is they who are the successful ones i.e. Al Muqassaroon, the ones who are confined by Him in success and triumph with victory.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

It was exactly what the scholar said. There was no conflict in what he ordered and what was intrinsically a source of ease. The hurdle was indeed one’s own self every single time that pulled on in the opposite direction of what was naturally good for it. In the form of hesitation, reluctance, delay, refusal, denial!

 

The lecture continued: “Imam Ali (as) says it most beautifully in the exact opposite manner of the mantra of the West which is ‘We are all born free.’ Because Islam gives one the right of social and individual freedom like nothing else for it is a freedom given by God Himself.

 

لا تكُن عبدا لغيرك، وقد خلقك الله حُرًا

 

Don’t be a slave to any other because indeed, Allah Subhanahu, has created you free.

 

Those who themselves are as individuals enslaved by their nafs, they are the ones who try to enslave others as well. Only the likes those who are free, like Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family), free others. Like Hazrat Bilal (ratu), Hazrat Anas (ratu), you, me. If I am free from my nafs I want everybody to be free. And if I am enslaved by it, I want everybody to be enslaved by it as well. And then become enslaved to me.”

 

I realized that once I decided I would adhere to a rule, my nafs surrendered itself never because of my own “determination.” I had written once before, because I learnt it from Maulana Rum (ra), that the nafs holds the aql prisoner. Reflection, consideration, they’re all impossibilities because the nafs does not bow to that which it imprisons. On top of it the ghaflat, perpetual state of forgetfulness, allows for a permanence of the dire state.

 

Masnavi Shareef: “Your nafs has made itself your lord and master. The one who slaughters it is your aql, the power to reflect. But it becomes hostage to the ego and prays for blessings from the Divine without struggling for them. But the price of receiving that blessing without trial is the killing of the ego, for it is the root of all wrongdoing. And that is impossible without a guide.”

 

رزق جانی کے بری با سعی و جست

جز با عدل شیخ کو داؤد تست

 

How can you ever gain blessings from your own struggles and endeavours?

Without the assistance of the Spiritual Master who intervenes for you like Hazrat Dawood (as)?

 

نفس چوں با شیخ بیندگام تو

از بن دندان شود او رام تو

 

When your nafs, your ego, sees you in the footsteps of your guide, it will have no choice but to become obedient to you.

 

عقل گایے غالب آید در شکار

بر سگ نفست کہ باشد شیخ یار

 

The aql, your powers to reflect, will only conquer the enemy, your ego, in this battle

when you are accompanied by your Sheikh.

 

My nafs allowed me to follow the rule of the verse of avoidance only because of the attention of someone upon me. A Master, A Master of Masters. A Master of the Universe!

 

As I wrote the piece and translated from the Arabic word by word the exegesis of the verses, I started honing in on Allah’s Names and Attributes to deepen my understanding of them. So that when my heart uttered them in my namaz, my qalb felt something. That Station of Ma’rifat, Recognition of The Divine, if not saw, then at least heard something. If not from the Realm of the Unseen, then from my own tongue.

 

And I remembered that the Prophet who perfected the Message (peace be upon him and his family) saying:

 

لا یستقیم ایمان احدکم حتی یستقیم قلبہ

و لا یستقیم قلبہ حتی یستقیم لسانہ

و لا یستقیم لسانہ حتی تستقیم اعمالہ

 

“None of you can persevere in your imaan, faith, till his qalb, the Seat of Recognition of Allah, becomes steadfast.

And his qalb cannot be unfaltering until his tongue becomes correct.

And his tongue cannot be correct until his deeds become unwavering.”

 

Ghaus Pak (ra) says; “Anything that I have been bestowed in my life as a blessing only came to me by way of the Ahl e Bait – the blessed household of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family).”

 

This comes from someone who is in fact one of the most extraordinary members of that household himself. The one who is the unquestioned conduit of spirituality for the Universe till the end of its existence. After Damascus I knew with certainty that the same held true for me. Everything I was ever bestowed in my entire life only came to me by way of the Ahl e Bait (as).

 

My heart was flooded by that love in the city called Paradise by Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) himself. The first time, the second, every single time. Upon each return I felt like I entered a womb, the only word to describe my feelings. I was loved and cared in a way I had never experienced in my life. Hence if that life were to hit reset, if I was also allowed one thing that wasn’t a part of the first one, I would request that I be born in Damascus and live there forever.

 

Iqbal said, and I have quoted him umpteenth times in my pieces, that heaven and hell are here in this world. Ghaus Pak (ra) says the same. His definition of hell is unforgettable: deprivation, humiliation, doubt, desires, endless hopes. All due to the nafs causing paranoia and delusions.

 

Fi naari jahannuma (Surah Tauba, Verse 109): in the fires of Hell i.e. a deep valley, very wide, full of the fire of deprivation and humiliation.

 

And doubt!

 

لَهُم مِّن جَهَنَّمَ مِهَادٌ وَمِن فَوْقِهِمْ غَوَاشٍ ۚ

وَكَذَٰلِكَ نَجْزِى ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ

 

For them Hell (is) their resting place and their covering as well. And thus We recompense the wrongdoers.

Surah Al-Araaf, Ayaat 41

 

Lahum min jahannama: Hell is the torture of imkaan, possibility which is doubt.

 

Mihaad: They will burn in these fires of their false desires…

 

Wa min fauqihim ghiwash: covered with the fires of their power and wealth and claims of being great and possessing abundance.

 

Wa ka daalika najzi ad-dualimeen: The zalimeen are the ones who transgress the boundaries of Allah due to their nafs which are drowning in the addiction of their senses, their paranoia and their delusion.

 

In a lecture on a day, Qari Sahib quoted the iconic line in the Quran about the faith that all Muslims know; La ikrahu fi-deen.

“There is no compulsion in embracing Islam and none in practicing it. Pray, don’t pray. Give zaka’t, don’t give it. Forgive or hold a grudge. Lie or tell a truth. It is all up to you. Be clear on the influence of your own nafs upon your own self.”

 

We studied the tafseer of the verse by Ghaus Pak (ra). I wanted to understand what it meant. And of course I was rewarded for the effort. For when translations called Taghut, “false deities and gods,” Ghaus Pak (ra) called the nafs al Ammara, bringing the matter from the “other” back upon one’s own self.

 

‏لَآ إِكْرَاهَ فِى ٱلدِّينِ ۖ قَد تَّبَيَّنَ ٱلرُّشْدُ مِنَ ٱلْغَىِّ ۚ

فَمَن يَكْفُرْ بِٱلطَّغُوتِ وَيُؤْمِنۢ بِٱللَّهِ فَقَدِ ٱسْتَمْسَكَ بِٱلْعُرْوَةِ ٱلْوُثْقَىٰ لَا ٱنفِصَامَ لَهَا ۗ

وَٱللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ ‎

 

There is no compulsion in the religion. Surely has become distinct the right (path) from the wrong. Then whoever rejects false deities and believes in Allah, then surely he grasped the handhold - firm, which will not break for him.

And Allah (is) All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 256

 

Tafseer Jilani

 

La ikraha: There is no force and there is no threat and there is no compulsion...

 

Fi deen: in compliance in the religion of Islam and being obedient of it, after the appearance of the ultimate truth because…

 

Qad tabayyana: indeed, it becomes clear and indeed, it is made distinct…

 

Ar rushd: the right path and guidance…

 

Min al gayye: from allurement and misguidedness.

 

Fa man yakfur bit taaghute: So anyone who denies the truth by believing in false idols, which is the nafs al Ammara which misguides from the Path of Truth…

 

Ya yu’min billah: and brings faith in Allah Al Hadi, The True Guide, towards the Straight Path…

 

Faqad-is-tamsaka: surely he attached himself to, and in fact, grasped and clung…

 

Bil urwatil wusqa: to the strong rope which is the Rope of Allah Subhanahu, hanging from the Permanence of His Essence to the Everlasting-ness of His Names and Attributes…

 

Lan fisama: It (the rope) will not break and it will not disconnect…

 

Laha: from itself ever.

 

Wallahu: And Allah Al Hadi, The Guide, is for all…

 

Samee’un: The All Hearing with His Essence the words of everyone…

 

Aleem-un: All Knowing of everything and the interests of all which have been placed inside them.

 

“So reflect,” says Ghaus Pak (ra), “O you are perishing, where do you place yourself in this?”

 

The marker of distortion and disruption in faith was the nafs. And the savior: connection of Allah Subhanahu’s Names and Attributes woven inside the rope that brought attachment to Him.

 

While I wrote the piece, my reflections were all concentrations upon the namaz. I began to write down each line in it to understand the sequence of the meaning.

 

The beginning is a seeking of refuge in Allah Subhanahu:

Audobillah e min as Shaitan ar rajeem – I seek refuge from Satan the accursed.

 

Then comes Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim – the first invocation of Allah’s Names.

 

It was followed by the Surah Al Fateha, the preface of the Quran. In it the first three lines of the Surah were praise of Allah Subhanahu. The first line also being the expression of gratitude:

 

Alhamdolillah e Rabbil Aalmeen – All praise is for Allah, the Lord of all the Universe.

 

The second and third verses both invoked His Names, the same ones:

 

Ar Rahman Ar Rahim – The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful.

 

Then Maalik e Youm iddin – The King of the Day of Judgement.

After came the submission; We only worship you and We only ask You for help.

 

And finally the prayer, which was for guidance!

 

But in that ask was a secret. The Sirat e Mustaqeem for which guidance was sought, that Straight Path, the verse reveals, was the one walked upon by those someones who were blessed by Him – siraat alladaina an’amta alayhim.

 

From the verb, I learnt a new Name of Allah: Naeem.

I heard a scholar say once: “Allah Subhanahu did not come to Earth and walk that path Himself. He sent others to show it and those who followed them and those after who followed them until in a meadow of grass, footsteps became outlined. A path leads to the Path.”

 

The greatest conflict within the faith today exists because people refuse to follow anyone else. But they don’t know, their aql imprisoned by their nafs will never surrender to anything except precisely when they follow another.

 

As my attention upon the words in the namaz intensified, I began to wonder that was actually being said by me in the part called the Tashahhud.

 

Part III Continued on: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52274085984/in/datepos...

I learnt this past week that the punishment of pride, of arrogance, here in this world is loneliness. the most intense and root cause of misery in which nothing allows for happiness. Even the master of hypocrisy cannot deny the wretchedness of its burden.

 

This cause for loneliness will surprise some. They might consider themselves humble and well mannered. the arrogance then, if not with other human beings, is coming with the attitude one might have towards Allah's Chosen Ones, or in terms of rejection in favour of their own "beliefs." all the while knowing they are false, yet clinging to them out of habit and a sense of loyalty to what has already betrayed.

 

Iblis is the perfect manifestation of that loneliness. his arrogance renders him alone. he has followers and disciples, countless, and his "work" continues non-stop but he doesn't want to hang out with those followers and disciples. he wants to be with the one he loves; Subhanahu, and that is what he is deprived of. No, that is what he deprives himself of, in the trap that he is placed in by his own self.

 

The nafs cannot change on its own. it can identify its flaws and repent. continuously, constantly. but it moves a step forward, then regresses, alone, or with another. But the words of someone will change that. tonight might start ramadan and the words of Imam Zain ul Abedin (as) will change that for me as the one who will pray his prayers and those who he includes in those prayers for me. those i know and those i dont.

 

So if you have an anger you wish would dissipate, an ungratefulness that has become second skin, a denial that is hardened, a sadness that wont evaporate, an anxiety that worsens, a faith that seems invisible, a loneliness that is torturing, chose a dua from his book this month and free yourself just by reading it.

 

Ramadan Mubarik!

 

From the prayers of the blessed Imam Zain ul Abedin (as):

www.duas.org/mobile/sahifasajjadia-dua43-new-moon.html

 

When he looked at the crescent moon

 

أَيُّهَا ٱلْخَلْقُ ٱلْمُطِيعُ

ayyuha alkhalqu almuti`u

O obedient creature,

 

ٱلدَّائِبُ ٱلسَّرِيعُ

aldda'ibu alssari`u

speedy and untiring,

 

ٱلْمُتَرَدِّدُ فِي مَنَازِلِ ٱلتَّقْدِيرِ

almutaraddidu fi manazili alttaqdiri

frequenter of the mansions of determination,

 

ٱلْمُتَصَرِّفُ فِي فَلَكِ ٱلتَّدْبِيرِ

almutasarrifu fi falaki alttadbiri

moving about in the sphere of governance!

 

آمَنْتُ بِمَنْ نَوَّرَ بِكَ ٱلظُّلَمَ

amantu biman nawwara bika alzzulama

I have faith in Him Who lights up darkness through you,

 

وَأَوْضَحَ بِكَ ٱلْبُهَمَ

wa awdaha bika albuhama

illuminates jet-black shadows by you,

 

وَجَعَلَكَ آيَةً مِنْ آيَاتِ مُلْكِهِ

wa ja`alaka ayatan min ayati mulkihi

appointed you one of the signs of His kingdom

 

وَعَلاَمَةً مِنْ عَلاَمَاتِ سُلْطَانِهِ

wa `alamatan min `alamati sultanihi

and one of the marks of His authority,

 

فَحَدَّ بِكَ ٱلزَّمَانَ

fahadda bika alzzamana

so, He identified time through You,

 

وَٱمْتَهَنَكَ بِٱلْكَمَالِ وَٱلنُّقْصَانِ

wa imtahanaka bilkamali walnnuqsani

and humbled you through increase and decrease,

 

وَٱلطُّلُوعِ وَٱلأُفُولِ

walttulu`i wal-ufuli

and rising and setting,

 

وَٱلإِنَارَةِ وَٱلْكُسُوفِ

wal-inarati walkusufi

and illumination and eclipse.

 

فِي كُلِّ ذٰلِكَ أَنْتَ لَهُ مُطِيعٌ

fi kulli dhalika anta lahu muti`un

In all of this you are obedient to Him,

 

وَإِلَىٰ إِرَادَتِهِ سَرِيعٌ

wa ila iradatihi sari`un

and prompt toward His will.

 

سُبْحَانَهُ مَا أَعْجَبَ مَا دَبَّرَ مِنْ أَمْرِكَ

subhanahu ma a`jaba ma dabbara min amrika

Glory be to Him! How wonderful is what He has arranged in Your situation!

 

وَأَلْطَفَ مَا صَنَعَ فِي شَأْنِكَ

wa altafa ma sana`a fi sha'nika

How subtle what He has made for Your task!

 

جَعَلَكَ مِفْتَاحَ شَهْرٍ حَادِثٍ لأَمْرٍ حَادِثٍ

ja`alaka miftaha shahrin hadithin li'amrin hadithin

He has made You the key to a new month for a new situation.

 

فَأَسْأَلُ ٱللَّهَ رَبِّي وَرَبَّكَ

fa-as'alu allaha rabbi wa rabbaka

So I ask Allah, my Lord and Your Lord,

 

وَخَالِقِي وَخَالِقَكَ

wa khaliqi wa khaliqaka

my Creator and Your Creator,

 

وَمُقَدِّرِي وَمُقَدِّرَكَ

wa muqaddiri wa muqaddiraka

my Determiner and Your Determiner,

 

وَمُصَوِّرِي وَمُصَوِّرَكَ

wa musawwiri wa musawwiraka

my Form-giver and Your Form-giver,

 

أَنْ يُصَلِّيَ عَلَىٰ مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

an yusalliya `ala muhammadin wa ali muhammadin

that He bless Muhammad and his Household

 

وَأَنْ يَجْعَلَكَ هِلاَلَ بَرَكَةٍ لاَ تَمْحَقُهَا ٱلأَيَّامُ

wa an yaj`alaka hilala barakatin la tamhaquha al-ayyamu

and appoint You a crescent of blessings not effaced by days

 

وَطَهَارَةٍ لاَ تُدَنِّسُهَا ٱلآثَامُ

wa taharatin la tudannisuha al-athamu

and of purity not defiled by sins;

 

هِلاَلَ أَمْنٍ مِنَ ٱلآفَاتِ

hilala amnin min al-afati

a crescent of security from blights

 

وَسَلاَمَةٍ مِنَ ٱلسَّيِّئَاتِ

wa salamatin min alssayyi'ati

and of safety from evil deeds;

 

هِلاَلَ سَعْدٍ لاَ نَحْسَ فِيهِ

hilala sa`din la nahsa fihi

a crescent of auspiciousness containing no misfortune,

 

وَيُمْنٍ لاَ نَكَدَ مَعَهُ

wa yumnin la nakada ma`ahu

of prosperity accompanied by no adversity,

 

وَيُسْرٍ لاَ يُمَازِجُهُ عُسْرٌ

wa yusrin la yumazijuhu `usrun

of ease not mixed with difficulty,

 

وَخيْرٍ لاَ يَشُوبُهُ شَرٍّ

wa khayrin la yashubuhu sharrun

of good unstained by evil;

 

هِلالَ أَمْنٍ وَإِيـمَانٍ

hilala amnin wa imanin

a crescent of security and faith,

 

وَنِعْمَةٍ وَإِحْسَانٍ

wa ni`matin wa ihsanin

favor and good-doing,

 

وَسَلاَمَةٍ وَإِسْلاَمٍ

wa salamatin wa islamin

safety and submission!

 

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَىٰ مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

allahumma salli `ala muhammadin wa ali muhammadin

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَٱجْعَلْنَا مِنْ أَرْضَىٰ مَنْ طَلَعَ عَلَيْهِ

waj`alna min arda man tala`a `alayhi

place us among the most satisfied of those over whom the crescent has risen,

 

وَأَزْكَىٰ مَنْ نَظَرَ إِلَيْهِ

wa azka man nazara ilayhi

the purest of those who have looked upon it,

 

وَأَسْعَدَ مَنْ تَعَبَّدَ لَكَ فِيهِ

wa as`ada man ta`abbada laka fihi

the most fortunate of those who have worshiped You under it;

 

وَوَفِّقْنَا ٱللَّهُمَّ فِيهِ لِلطَّاعَةِ وَٱلتَّوْبَةِ

wa waffiqna allahumma fihi liltta`ati walttawbati

give us the success during [the new month] to repent,

 

وَٱعْصِمْنَا فِيهِ مِنَ ٱلآثَامِ وَٱلْحَوْبَةِ

wa`simna fihi min al-athami walhawbati

preserve us within it from misdeeds and exposition to punishment,

 

وَأَوْزِعْنَا فِيهِ شُكْرَ ٱلنِّعْمَةِ

wa awzi`na fihi shukra alnni`mati

allot to us within it thanksgiving for Your favor,

 

وَأَلْبِسْنَا فِيهِ جُنَنَ ٱلْعَافِيَةِ

wa albisna fihi junana al`afiyati

clothe us during it in the shields of well-being,

 

وَأَتْمِمْ عَلَيْنَا بِٱسْتِكْمَالِ طَاعَتِكَ فِيهِ ٱلْمِنَّةَ

wa atmim `alayna bistikmali ta`atika fihi alminnata

and complete for us Your kindness by perfecting therein obedience to You!

 

إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ ٱلْمَنَّانُ ٱلْحَمِيدُ

innaka anta almannanu alhamidu

Surely You are All-kind, Praiseworthy.

 

وَصَلَّىٰ ٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِهِ ٱلطَّيِّبِينَ

wa salla allahu `ala muhammadin wa alihi alttayyibina

And bless Muhammad and his Household, the good, the pure.

 

وَٱجْعَلْ لَنَا فِيهِ عَوْناً مِنْكَ عَلَىٰ مَا نَدَبْتَنَا إِلَيْهِ

waj`al lana fihi `awnan minka `ala ma nadabtana ilayhi

And grant us aid from You to carry out that which You have ordered us to do in it;

 

مِنْ مُفْتَرَضِ طَاعَتِكَ

min muftaradi ta`atika

Such as the obedience to You which You have made incumbent upon us,

 

وَتَقَبَّلْهَا إِنَّكَ ٱلأَكْرَمُ مِنْ كُلِّ كَرِيمٍ

wa taqabbalha innaka al-akramu min kulli karimin

and accept them from us, for You are the most Generous of all those who show generosity

 

وَٱلأَرْحَمُ مِنْ كُلِّ رَحِيمٍ

wal-arhamu min kulli rahimin

and the most Merciful of all those who show mercy.

 

آمِينَ آمِينَ رَبَّ ٱلْعَالَمِينَ

amina amina rabba al`alamina

Respond! Respond! O Lord of the Worlds.

  

When he welcomed the month of Ramadan

www.duas.org/mobile/sahifasajjadia-dua44-coming-of-ramadh...

 

الْحَمْدُ للهِ الَّذِي هَدَانَا لِحَمْدِهِ

aal-h'amdu lil-laahil-lad'ee hadaanaa lih'am-dihee

Praise belongs to God who guided us to His praise

 

وَجَعَلَنَا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ، لِنَكُونَ لِإِحْسَانِهِ مِنَ الشَّاكِرِينَ

wa jaa'lanaa min ah-lih linakoona liih'-saanihee minash-shaakireen

and placed us among the people of praise, that we might be among the thankful for His beneficence

 

وَلِيَجْزِيَنَا عَلَى ذلِكَ جَزَآءَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

wa leeaj-zeeanaa a'laa d'alika jazaaa-al-muh'-sineen

and that He might recompense us for that with the recompense of the good-doers!

 

وَالْحَمْدُ للهِ الَّذِي حَبَانَا بِدِينِهِ،

wal-h'am-du lil-laahil-lad'ee h'abaanaa bideenih

And praise belongs to God who showed favour to us through His religion,

 

وَاخْتَصَّنَا بِمِلَّتِهِ، وَسَبَّلَنَا فِي سُبُلِ إحْسَانِهِ،

wakh-tas'-s'anaa bimil-latih wa sab-balanaa fee subuli ih'-saanih

singled us out for His creed, and directed us onto the roads of His beneficence,

 

لِنَسْلُكَهَا بِمَنِّهِ إلَى رِضْوَانِهِ،

linas-lukahaa biman-niheee ilaa riz''-waanih

in order that through His kindness we might travel upon them to His good pleasure,

 

حَمْدَاً يَتَقَبَّلُهُ مِنَّا، وَيَرْضَى بِهِ عَنَّا.

h'am-day-yataqab-baluhoo min-naa wa yar-z''aa bihee a'n-naa

a praise which He will accept from us and through which He will be pleased with us!

 

وَالْحَمْدُ لِلّه الَّذِي جَعَلَ مِنْ تِلْكَ السُّبُلِ شَهْرَهُ شَهْرَ رَمَضَانَ،

wal-h'am-du lil-laahil-lad'ee jaa'la min til-kas-subuli shah-rah shah-ra ramaz''aan

And praise belongs to God who appointed among those roads His month, the month of Ramadan,

 

شَهْرَ الصِّيَامِ، وَشَهْرَ الإِسْلاَم، وَشَهْرَ الطَّهُورِ،

shah-ras'-s'eeaam wa shah-ral-is-laam wa shah-rat'-t'ahoor

the month of fasting, the month of submission, the month of purity,

 

وَشَهْرَ التَّمْحِيْصِ، وَشَهْرَ الْقِيَامِ،

wa shah-rat-tam-h'ees' wa shah-ral-qeeaam

the month of putting to test, the month of standing in prayer,

 

الَّذِي أُنْزِلَ فِيْهِ الْقُرْآنُ هُدىً لِلنَّاسِ،

(al-lad'eee unzila feehil-qur-aaanu hudana liln-naasi

"in which the Qur'an was sent down as guidance to the people,

 

وَبَيِّنَات مِنَ الْهُدى وَالْفُرْقَانِ،

wa bay-yinaatim-minal-hudaa wal-fur-qaan)

and as clear signs of the Guidance and the Separator" (2:185)!

 

فَأَبَانَ فَضِيْلَتَهُ عَلَى سَائِرِ الشُّهُورِ

faabaana faz''eelatahoo a'laa saaa-irish-shuhoori

He clarified its excellence over other months

 

بِمَا جَعَلَ لَهُ مِنَ الْحُرُمَاتِ الْمَوْفُورَةِ وَالْفَضَائِلِ الْمَشْهُورَةِ،

bimaa jaa'la lahoo minal-h'urumaatil-maw-foorati wal-faz''aaa-ilil-mash-hoorah

by the many sacred things and well-known excellencies which He placed therein,

 

فَحَرَّمَ فِيْهِ ما أَحَلَّ فِي غَيْرِهِ إعْظَاماً،

fah'ar-rama feehee maaa ah'al-la fee ghay-riheee ia'-z'aamaa

for He made unlawful in it what He declared lawful in others to magnify it,

 

وَحَجَرَ فِيْهِ الْمَطَاعِمَ وَالْمَشَارِبَ إكْرَاماً،

wa h'ajara feehil-mat'aai'ma wal-mashaariba ik-raamaa

He prohibited foods and drinks in it to honour it,

 

وَجَعَلَ لَهُ وَقْتاً بَيِّناً لاَ يُجِيزُ جَلَّ وَعَزَّ أَنْ يُقَدَّمَ قَبْلَهُ،

wa jaa'la lahoo waq-taa bay-yinaa laa yujeezu jal-la wa a'z-za ay-yuqad-dama qab-lah

and He appointed for it a clear time which He (majestic and mighty is He) allows not to be set forward

 

وَلا يَقْبَـلُ أَنْ يُؤَخَّرَ عَنْهُ،

wa laa yaq-balu ay-yoo-akh-khara a'n-h

and accepts not to be placed behind.

 

ثُمَّ فَضَّلَ لَيْلَةً وَاحِدَةً مِنْ لَيَالِيهِ عَلَى لَيَالِي أَلْفِ شَهْر،

thum-ma faz''-z''ala lay-lataw-waah'idatam-mil-layaaleehee a'laa layaaleee al-fi shah-ri

Then He made one of its nights surpass the nights of a thousand months

 

وَسَمَّاهَا لَيْلَةَ الْقَدْرِ،

wa sam-maahaa lay-latal-qad-r

and named it the Night of Decree;

 

تَنَزَّلُ الْمَلائِكَةُ وَالرُّوحُ فِيهَا بِإذْنِ رَبِّهِمْ مِنْ كُلِّ أَمْر،

(tanaz-zalul-malaaa-ikatu war-roohoo feehaa biid'-ni rab-bhim min kul-li am-rin)

"in it the angels and the Spirit descend by the leave of their Lord upon every command,

 

سَلاَمٌ دَائِمُ الْبَرَكَةِ إلَى طُلُوعِ الْفَجْرِ،

salaamun daaa-imul-barakati ilaa t'ulooi'l-faj-ri

a peace" (97:4-5) constant in blessings until the rising of the dawn

 

عَلَى مَنْ يَشَاءُ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ بِمَا أَحْكَمَ مِنْ قَضَائِهِ.

a'laa may-yashaaa-u min i'baadihee bimaaa ah'-kama min qaz''aaa-ih

upon whomsoever He will of His servants according to the decision He has made firm.

 

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ،

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

O God, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَأَلْهِمْنَا مَعْرِفَةَ فَضْلِهِ وَإِجْلاَلَ حُرْمَتِهِ

wa al-him-naa maa'-rifata faz''-lih wa ij-laala h'ur-matih

inspire us with knowledge of its excellence, veneration of its inviolability,

 

وَالتَّحَفُّظَ مِمَّا حَظَرْتَ فِيهِ

wat-tah'af-fuz'a mim-maa h'az'ar-ta feeh

and caution against what You hast forbidden within it,

 

وَأَعِنَّـا عَلَى صِيَامِـهِ بِكَفِّ الْجَـوَارِحِ عَنْ مَعَاصِيْكَ،

wa ai'n-naa a'laa s'eeaamihee bikaf-fil-jawaarihee a'm-maa'as'eeka

and help us to fast in it by our restraining our limbs from acts of disobedience toward You

 

وَاسْتِعْمَالِهَا فِيهِ بِمَا يُرْضِيْكَ

was-tia'-maalihaa feehee bimaa yur-z''eek

and our employing them in that which pleases You,

 

حَتَّى لاَ نُصْغِىَ بِأَسْمَاعِنَا إلَى لَغْو،

h'at-taa laa nus'-gheea bi s-maai'naaa ilaa lagh-w

so that we lend not our ears to idle talk

 

وَلا نُسْرِعَ بِأَبْصَارِنَا إلَى لَهْو،

wa laa nus-ria' bi b-s'aarinaaa ilaa lah-w

and hurry not with our eyes to diversion,

 

وَحَتَّى لاَ نَبْسُطَ أَيْدِيَنَا إلَى مَحْظُور،

wa h'at-taa laa nab-sut'a ay-deeanaaa ilaa mah'-z'oor

we stretch not our hands toward the forbidden

 

وَلاَ نَخْطُوَ بِأَقْدَامِنَا إلَى مَحْجُور،

wa laa nakh-t'oo bi q-daaminaaa ilaa mah'-joor

and stride not with our feet toward the prohibited,

 

وَحَتَّى لاَ تَعِيَ بُطُونُنَا إلاَّ مَا أَحْلَلْتَ،

wa h'at-taa laa tae'ea but'oonunaaa il-laa maaa ah'-lal-t

our bellies hold only what You hast made lawful

 

وَلا تَنْطِقَ أَلْسِنَتُنَا إلاَّ بِمَا مَثَّلْتَ

wa laa tant'iqa al-sinatunaaa il-laa bimaa math-thal-t

and our tongues speak only what You hast exemplified,

 

وَلا نَتَكَلَّفَ إلاَّ ما يُدْنِي مِنْ ثَوَابِكَ،

wa laa natakal-lafa il-laa maa yud-nee min thawaabik

we undertake nothing but what brings close to Your reward

 

وَلاَ نَتَعَاطَى إلاّ الَّذِي يَقِيْ مِنْ عِقَابِكَ،

wa laa nataa'at'aaa il-laal-lad'ee yaqee min i'qaabik

and pursue nothing but what protects from Your punishment!

 

ثُمَّ خَلِّصْ ذَلِكَ كُلَّهُ مِنْ رِئآءِ الْمُرَائِينَ وَسُمْعَةِ الْمُسْمِعِينَ،

thum-ma khal-lis' d'alika kul-lahoo min reeaaa-il-muraaa-een wa sum-a'til-mus-mie'en

Then rid all of that from the false show of the false showers and the fame seeking of the fame seekers,

 

لاَ نَشْرَكُ فِيهِ أَحَداً دُونَكَ،

laa nash-raku feeheee ah'adana donak

lest we associate therein anything with You

 

وَلا نَبْتَغِيْ فِيهِ مُرَاداً سِوَاكَ.

wa laa nab-taghee bihee muraadana siwaak

or seek therein any object of desire but You!

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ،

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

O God, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَقِفْنَـا فِيْـهِ عَلَى مَـوَاقِيْتِ

wa qif-naa feehee a'laa mawaaqeeti

in it make us attend to the appointed moments

 

الصَّلَوَاتِ الْخَمْس بِحُدُودِهَا الَّتِي حَدَّدْتَ،

s'alawaatil-kham-si bih'udoodihaal-latee h'ad-dat-t

of the five prayers within the bounds You hast set,

 

وَفُرُوضِهَا الَّتِي فَرَضْتَ وَوَظَائِفِهَا الَّتِي وَظَّفْتَ،

wa furooz''ihaal-latee faraz''-t wa waz'aaa-ifihaal-latee waz'-z'af-t

the obligations You hast decreed, the duties You hast assigned,

 

وَأَوْقَاتِهَا الَّتِي وَقَّتَّ،

wa aw-qaatihaal-latee waq-qat

and the times You hast specified;

 

وَأَنْزِلْنَا فِيهَا مَنْزِلَةَ الْمُصِيْبينَ لِمَنَازِلِهَا

wa anzil-naa feehaa manzilata al-mus'eebeena limanaazilihaa

and in the prayers make us alight in the station of the keepers of their stations,

 

الْحَافِظِينَ لاِرْكَانِهَا الْمُؤَدِّينَ لَهَـا

al-h'aafiz'eena liar-kaanihaa al-moo-ad-deena lahaa

the guardians of their pillars, their performers in their times,

 

فِي أَوْقَاتِهَـا عَلَى مَا سَنَّـهُ عَبْدُكَ وَرَسُـولُكَ صَلَوَاتُـكَ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِـهِ

feee aw-qaatihaa a'laa maa san-nahoo a'b-duka wa rasooluka s'alawaatuka a'lay-hee wa aaalihee

as Your servant and Your messenger set down in his Sunna (Your blessings be upon him and his Household)

 

فِي رُكُوعِهَا وَسُجُودِهَا وَجَمِيْعِ فَوَاضِلِهَا

fee rukooi'haa wasujoodihaa wa jameei' fawaaz''ilihaa

in their bowings, their prostrations, and all their excellent acts,

 

عَلى أَتَمِّ الطَّهُورِ، وَأَسْبَغِهِ وَأَبْيَنِ الْخُشُوعِ وَأَبْلَغِهِ،

a'laa atam-mit'-t'ahoori wa as-baghih wa ab-yanil-khushooi' wa ab-laghih

with the most complete and ample ritual purity and the most evident and intense humility!

 

وَوَفِّقْنَا فِيهِ لاِنْ نَصِلَ أَرْحَامَنَا بِالبِرِّ وَالصِّلَةِ

wa waf-fiq-naa feeh lian-nas'ila ar-h'aamanaa bil-bir-ri was'-s'ilah

Give us success in this month to tighten our bonds of kin with devotion and gifts,

 

وَأَنْ نَتَعَاهَدَ جِيرَانَنَابِالاِفْضَالِ وَالْعَطِيَّةِ

wa an-nataa'ahada jeeraananaa bil-if-z''aali wal-a't'ee-yah

attend to our neighbours with bestowal and giving,

 

وَأَنْ نُخَلِّصَ أَمْوَالَنَا مِنَ التَّبِعَاتِ،

wa an-nukhal-lis'a am-waalanaa minat-tabia'at

rid our possessions from claims,

 

وَأَنْ نُطَهِّرَهَا بِإخْرَاجِ الزَّكَوَاتِ،

wa an-nut'ah-hirahaa biikh-raajiz-zakawaat

purify them through paying the alms,

 

وَأَنْ نُرَاجِعَ مَنْ هَاجَرَنَـا

wa an-nuraajia' man haajaranaa

go back to him who has gone far from us,

 

وَأَنْ نُنْصِفَ مَنْ ظَلَمَنَا

wa an-nuns'ifa man z'alamanaa

treat justly him who has wronged us,

 

وَأَنْ نُسَـالِمَ مَنْ عَادَانَا

wa an-nusaalima man a'adaanaa

make peace with him who shows enmity toward us

 

حَاشَا مَنْ عُودِيَ فِيْكَ وَلَكَ،

h'aashaa man u'wdeea feeka wa laka

(except him who is regarded as an enemy in You and for You,

 

فَإنَّهُ الْعَدُوُّ الَّذِي لاَ نُوالِيهِ،

fa in-nahu al-a'doo-wul-lad'ee laa nuwaaleeh

for he is the enemy whom we will not befriend,

 

وَالحِزْبُ الَّذِي لاَ نُصَافِيهِ.

wal-h'iz-bul-lad'ee laa nus'aafeeh

the party whom we will not hold dear),

 

وَأَنْ نَتَقَرَّبَ إلَيْكَ فِيْهِ مِنَ الأَعْمَالِ الزَّاكِيَةِ بِمَا تُطَهِّرُنا بِهِ مِنَ الذُّنُوبِ،

wa an-nataqar-raba ilay-ka feehee minal-aa'-maaliz-zaakeeati bimaa tut'ah-hirunaa bihee minad'-d'unoob

and seek nearness to You through blameless works which will purify us from sins

 

وَتَعْصِمُنَا فِيهِ مِمَّا نَسْتَأنِفُ مِنَ الْعُيُوبِ،

wa taa'-s'imunaa feehee mim-maa nas-taa-nifu minal-u'yoob

and preserve us from renewing faults,

 

حَتَّى لا يُورِدَ عَلَيْكَ أَحَدٌ مِنْ مَلاَئِكَتِكَ

h'at-taa laa yoorida a'lay-ka ah'adum-mim-malaaa-ikatika

so that none of Your angels will bring for You

 

إلاّ دُونَ مَا نُورِدُ مِنْ أَبْوابِ الطَّاعَةِ لَكَ، وَأَنْوَاعِ القُرْبَةِ إلَيْكَ.

il-laa doona maa nooridu min ab-waabit'-t'aaa'ti laka wa anwaai'l-qur-bati ilay-k

the kinds of obedience and sorts of nearness-seeking unless they be less than what we bring!

 

أللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ بِحَقِّ هَذَا الشَّهْرِ،

al-laahum-ma in-neee as-aluka bih'aq-qi had'aash-shah-r

O God, I ask You by the right of this month

 

وَبِحَقِّ مَنْ تَعَبَّدَ لَكَ فِيهِ

wa bih'aq-qi man taa'b-bada laka feehee

and by the right of him who worships You within it

 

مِنِ ابْتِدَائِهِ إلَى وَقْتِ فَنَائِهِ

mini ab-tidaaa-iheee ilaa waq-ti fanaaa-ih

from its beginning to the time of its passing,

 

مِنْ مَلَك قَرَّبْتَهُ أَوْ نَبِيٍّ أَرْسَلْتَهُ

mim-malakin qar-rab-tah aw nabee-yin ar-sal-tah

whether angel You hast brought nigh to You, prophet You hast sent,

 

أَوْ عَبْد صَالِح اخْتَصَصْتَهُ

aw a'b-din s'aalih'in akh-tas'as'-tah

or righteous servant You hast singled out,

 

أَنْ تُصَلِّيَ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ،

an tus'al-leea a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

that You bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَأَهِّلْنَا فِيهِ لِمَا وَعَدْتَ أَوْلِياءَكَ مِنْ كَرَامَتِكَ،

wa ah-hil-naa feehee limaa waa't-ta aw-leeaaa-aka min karaamatik

make us worthy of the generosity You hast promised Your friends,

 

وَأَوْجِبْ لَنَا فِيهِ مَا أَوْجَبْتَ لأِهْلِ الْمُبَالَغَةِ فِي طَاعَتِكَ،

wa aw-jib lanaa feehee maaa aw-jab-ta liah-lil-mubaalaghati fee t'aaa'tik

make incumbent for us what You hast made incumbent for those who go to great lengths in obeying You,

 

وَاجْعَلْنَا فِي نَظْمِ مَنِ اسْتَحَقَّ الرَّفِيْعَ الأعْلَى بِرَحْمَتِكَ.

waj-a'l-naa fee naz'-mi mani as-tah'aq-qar-rafeea'l-aa'-laa birah'-matik

and place us in the ranks of those who deserve through Your mercy the highest elevation!

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ،

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

O God, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَجَنِّبْنَا الإلْحَادَ فِي تَوْحِيدِكَ وَالتَّقْصِيرَ فِي تَمْجِيدِكَ

wa jan-nib-naa al-il-h'aada fee taw-h'eedik wat-taq-s'eera fee tam-jeedik

turn us aside from deviation in professing Your Unity, falling short in magnifying You,

 

وَالشَّكَّ فِي دِينِـكَ وَالْعَمَى عَنْ سَبِيْلِكَ وَالاغْفَالَ لِحُرْمَتِكَ،

wash-shak-ka fee deenik wal-a'maa a'n sabeelik wal-igh-faala lih'ur-matik

uncertainty in Your religion, blindness toward Your path, heedlessness of Your inviolability,

 

وَالانْخِدَاعَ لِعَدُوِّكَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ.

walin-khidaaa' lia'doo-wikash-shay-t'aanir-rajeem

and being deceived by Your enemy, the accursed Satan!

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

O God, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَإذَا كَانَ لَكَ فِيْ كُلِّ لَيْلَة مِنْ لَيَالِيْ شَهْرِنَا هَذَا

wa id'aa kaana laka fee kul-li lay-latim-mil-layaalee shah-rinaa had'aa

and when in every night of this month's nights

 

رِقَابٌ يُعْتِقُهَا عَفْوُكَ أَوْ يَهَبُهَا صَفْحُكَ

riqaabuy-yua'-tiquhaa a'f-wuka aw yahabuhaa s'af-h'uk

You hast necks which Your pardon will release and Your forgiveness disregard,

 

فَاجْعَلْ رِقَابَنَا مِنْ تِلْكَ الرِّقَابِ

faj-a'r-r-riqaabanaa min til-kar-riqaab

place our necks among those necks

 

وَاجْعَلْنَا لِشَهْرِنَا مِنْ خَيْرِ أَهْل وَأَصْحَاب.

waj-a'l-naa lishah-rinaa min khay-ri ah-liw-wa as'-h'aab

and place us among the best folk and companions of this our month!

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

O God, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَامْحَقْ ذُنُوبَنَا مَعَ امِّحاقِ هِلاَلِهِ

wam-h'aq d'unoobanaa maa' im-h'aaqi hilaalih

efface our sins along with the effacing of its crescent moon,

 

وَاسْلَخْ عَنَّا تَبِعَاتِنَا مَعَ انْسِلاَخِ أَيَّامِهِ

was-lakh a'n-naa tabia'atinaa maa' ansilaakhi ay-yaamih

and make us pass forth from the ill effects of our acts with the passing of its days,

 

حَتَّى يَنْقَضِي عَنَّا وَقَدْ صَفَّيْتَنَا فِيهِ مِنَ الْخَطِيئاتِ

h'at-taa yanqaz''eea a'n-naa waqad- s'af-fay-tanaa feehee minal-khat'ee-aat

until it leaves us behind, while within it You hast purified us of offenses

 

وَأَخْلَصْتَنَا فِيهِ مِنَ السَّيِّئاتِ

wa akh-las'-tanaa feehee minas-say-yi-aat

and rid us of evil deeds!

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ،

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

O God, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَإنْ مِلْنَا فِيهِ فَعَدِّلْنا، وَإنْ زِغْنَا فِيهِ فَقَوِّمْنَا

wa im-mil-naa feehee faa'd-dil-naa wa in zugh-naa feehee faqaw-wim-naa

and should we go off to one side in this month, set us aright; should we swerve, point us straight;

 

وَإنِ اشْتَمَلَ عَلَيْنَا عَدُوُّكَ الشَّيْطَانُ فَاسْتَنْقِذْنَا مِنْهُ

wa ini ash-tamala a'lay-naa a'doo-wukash-shay-t'aanu fas-tanqid'-naa min-h

and should Your enemy Satan enwrap us, rescue us from him!

 

أللَهُمَّ اشْحَنْهُ بِعِبَادَتِنَا إيَّاكَ

al-laahum-ma ash-h'an-hoo bii'baadatinaaa ee-yaak

O God, fill this month with our worship of You,

 

وَزَيِّنْ أَوْقَاتَهُ بِطَاعَتِنَا لَكَ،

wa zay-yin aw-qaatahoo bit'aaa'tinaa laka

adorn its times with our obedience toward You,

 

وَأَعِنَّا فِي نَهَـارِهِ عَلَى صِيَـامِـهِ،

wa ai'n-naa fee nahaarihee a'laa s'eeaamih

help us during its daytime with its fast,

 

وَفِي لَيْلِهِ عَلَى الصَّـلاَةِ

wa fee lay-lihee a'laas'-s'alaati

and in its night with prayer

 

وَالتَّضَرُّعِ إلَيْكَ وَالخُشُوعِ لَكَ،

wat-taz''ar-rui' ilay-k wal-khushooi' laka

and pleading toward You, humility toward You,

 

وَالذِّلَّةِ بَيْنَ يَدَيْكَ

wad'-d'il-lati bay-na yaday-k

and lowliness before You,

 

حَتَّى لا يَشْهَدَ نَهَارُهُ عَلَيْنَا بِغَفْلَة، وَلا لَيْلُهُ بِتَفْرِيط.

h'at-taa laa yash-hada nahaaruhoo a'lay-naa bighaf-latiw-wa laa lay-luhoo bitaf-reet'

so that its daytime may not bear witness against our heedlessness, nor its night against our neglect!

 

أللَّهُمَّ وَاجْعَلْنَا فِي سَائِرِ الشُّهُورِ وَالأَيَّامِ كَذَلِكَ مَا عَمَّرْتَنَا،

al-laahum-ma waj-a'l-naa fee saaa-irish-shuhoori wal-ay-yaami kad'alika maa a'm-mar-tanaa

O God, make us like this in the other months and days as long as You givest us life,

 

وَاجْعَلْنَا مِنْ عِبَادِكَ الصَّالِحِينَ

waj-a'l-naa min i'baadikas'-s'aalih'een

and place us among Your righteous servants,

 

الَّذِينَ يَرِثُونَ الْفِرْدَوْسَ، هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ،

(al-lad'eena yarithoonal-fir-daw-sa hum feehaa khaalidoon)

"those who shall inherit Paradise, therein dwelling forever" (23:11),

 

وَالَّذِينَ يُؤْتُونَ مَا آتَوْا وَقُلُوبُهُمْ

(wal-lad'eena yoo-toona maaa aaataw-a waquloobuhum

"those who give what they give, while their hearts quake,

 

وَجِلَةٌ أَنَّهُمْ إلَى رَبِّهِمْ رَاجِعُـونَ،

wajilatun an-nahum ilaa rab-bihim raajiu'wn)

that they are returning to their Lord" (23:60),

 

وَمِنَ الَّذِينَ يُسَارِعُونَ فِي الْخَيْرَاتِ وَهُمْ لَهَا سَابِقُونَ.

wa minal-lad'eena (yusaariu'wna fil-khay-raati wahum lahaa saabiqoon)

those who "..vie in good works, outracing to them" (23:61)!

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ،

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

O God, bless Muhammad and his Household

 

فِي كُلِّ وَقْت وَكُلِّ أَوَان وَعَلَى كُـلِّ حَال

fee kul-li waq-t wakul-li awaan wa a'laa kul-li h'aal

in every time, in all moments, and in every state,

 

عَـدَدَ مَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى مَنْ صَلَّيْتَ عَلَيْهِ،

a'dada maa s'al-lay-ta a'laa man s'al-lay-ta a'lay-h

to the number that You hast blessed whomsoever You hast blessed

 

وَأَضْعَافَ ذَلِكَ كُلِّهِ بِالاضْعافِ

wa az''-a'afa d'alika kul-lihee bil-az''-a'afi

and to multiples of all that, through multiples

 

الَّتِي لا يُحْصِيهَا غَيْرُكَ،

latee laa yuh'-s'eehaa ghay-ruk

which none can count but You!

 

إنَّكَ فَعَّالٌ لِمَا تُرِيدُ.

in-naka faa'-a'alul-limaa tureed

Surely You art Accomplisher of what You desirest.

  

His supplication in the Night Prayer

www.duas.org/mobile/sahifasajjadia-dua32-after-night-pray...

 

أَللَّهُمَّ يَا ذَا الْمُلْكِ الْمُتأبِّدِ بِالْخُلُودِ وَالْسُلْطَانِ

al-laahum-ma yaa d'aal- mul-kil-mutaab-bidi bil-khulood was-sul-t'aan

1.O God, O Possessor of kingdom perpetual in everlastingness,

 

الْمُمْتَنِعِ بِغَيْرِ جُنُود وَلاَ أَعْوَان،

al-mum-tanii' bighay-ri junoodiw-wa laaa aa'-waan

2.authority invincible without armies or helpers,

 

وَالْعِزِّ الْبَاقِي عَلَى مَرِّ الدُّهُورِ،

wal-i'z-zil-baaqee a'laa mar-rid-duhoori

3.might abiding through aeons past,

 

وَخَوَالِي الأَعْوَامِ، وَمَوَاضِي الأَزْمَانِ وَالأيَّامِ،

wa khawaaleel-aa'-waami wamawaaz''eel-az-maani wal-ay-yaam

4.years gone by, times and days elapsed!

 

عَزَّ سُلْطَانُكَ عِزّاً لا حَدَّ لَهُ بِأَوَّلِيَّةٍ وَلاَ مُنْتَهَى لَهُ بِآخِرِيَّةٍ،

a'z-za sul-t'aanuka i'z-zal-laa h'ad-da lahoo biw-walee-yatiw-wa laa muntahaa lahoo biaakharee-yah

5.Your authority is mighty with a might that knows no bound by being first nor utmost end by being last!

 

وَاسْتَعْلَى مُلْكُكَ عُلُوّاً سَقَطَتِ الأشْيَاءُ دُونَ بُلُوغِ أَمَدِهِ

was-taa'-laa mul-kuka u'loo-wana saqat'atil-ash-yaaa-u doona bulooghi amadih

6.Your kingdom towers high with a towering before which all things fall down without reaching its term;

 

وَلاَ يَبْلُغُ أَدْنَى مَا اسْتَأثَرْتَ بِـهِ مِنْ ذَلِكَ أَقْصَى نَعْتِ النَّـاعِتِينَ.

wa laa yab-lughu ad-naa mas-taa-thar-ta bihee min d'alika aq-s'aa naa'-tin-naai'teen

7.the least of it which You hast kept to Yourself is not reached by the furthest description of the describers!

 

ضَلَّتْ فِيْـكَ الصِّفَاتُ وَتَفَسْخَتْ دُونَكَ النُّعُوتُ

z''al-lat feekas'-s'ifaat wa tafas-sakhat doonakan-nuu'wt

8.Attributes go astray in You, descriptions fall apart below You,

 

وَحَارَتْ فِي كِبْرِيِائِكَ لَطَائِفُ الأوْهَامِ،

wa h'aarat fee kib-reeaaa-ika lat'aaa-iful-aw-haami

9.the subtlest of imaginations are bewildered by Your magnificence!

 

كَذلِكَ أَنْتَ اللهُ الأَوَّلُ فِي أَوَّلِيَّتِكَ،

kad'alika antal-laahul-aw-walu feee aw-walee-yatik

10.So art Thou: God, the First in Your firstness,

 

وَعَلَى ذَلِكَ أَنْتَ دَائِمٌ لا تَزُولُ،

wa a'laa d'alika anta daaa-imul-laa tazool

11.and so art You everlastingly. You dost not pass away.

 

وَأَنَا الْعَبْدُ الضَّعِيْفُ عَمَلاً الجَسِيْمُ أَمَلاً،

wa anaal-a'b-d az''-z''ae'efu a'malaan al-jaseemu amalaa

12.But I am the slave, feeble in works, immense in hopes.

 

خَرَجَتْ مِنْ يَدِي أَسْبَابُ الْوُصُلاَت إلاّ مَا وَصَلَهُ رَحْمَتُكَ ،

kharajat mee-yadeee as-baabul-wus'ulaati il-laa maa was'alahoo rah'-matuk

13.The tying links are outside my hand, except what is tied by Your mercy;

 

وَتَقَطَّعَتْ عَنِّي عِصَمُ الآمَالِ

wa taqat'-t'aa't a'n-nee i's'amul-aaamaali

14.the bonds of hopes have been cut away from me,

 

إلاّ مَا أَنَا مُعْتَصِمٌ بِهِ مِنْ عَفْوِكَ،

il-laa maaa ana mua'-tas'imum-bihee min a'f-wik

15.except the pardon to which I hold fast.

 

قَلَّ عِنْدِي مَا أَعْتَدُّ بِهِ مِنْ طَاعَتِكَ

qal-la i'ndee maaa aa'-tad-du bihee min t'aaa'tik

16.Little on my part is the obedience toward You upon which I count,

 

وَكَثُرَ عَلَيَّ مَا أَبُوءُ بِهِ مِنْ مَعْصِيَتِكَ،

wa kathura a'lay-ya maaa abooo-u bihee mim-maa'-s'eeatik

17.and great against me the disobedience toward You to which I have reverted.

 

وَلَنْ يَضِيْقَ عَلَيْكَ عَفْوٌ عَنْ عَبْدِكَ وَإنْ أَسَاءَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي.

wa lay-yaz''eeqa a'lay-ka a'f-wun a'n a'b-dika wa in asaaa-a faa'-fu a'n-nee

18.But pardoning Your slave will not constrain You, even if he be bad, so pardon me!

 

أللَّهًمَّ وَقَدْ أَشْرَفَ عَلَى خَفَايَا الأَعْمَالِ عِلْمُكَ

al-laahum-ma waqad ash-rafa a'laa khafaayaal-aa'-maali i'l-muk

19.O God, Your knowledge watches over hidden works

 

وَانْكَشَفَ كُلُّ مَسْتُور دُونَ خُبْرِكَ

wankashafa kul-lu mas-toorin doona khub-rik

20.every covered thing is exposed before Your awareness,

 

وَلاَ تَنْطَوِي عَنْكَ دَقَائِقُ الأُمُورِ

wa laa tant'awee a'nka daqaaa-iqul-umoor

21.the intricacies of things are not concealed from You,

 

وَلاَ تَعْزُبُ عَنْكَ غَيِّبَاتُ السَّرَائِرِ،

wa laa taa'-zubu a'nka ghay-yibaatus-saraaa-ir

22.and unseen mysteries slip not away from You.

 

وَقَدِ اسْتَحْوَذَ عَلَيَّ عَدُوُّكَ الَّذِي اسْتَنْظَرَكَ لِغِوَايتِي فَأَنْظَرْتَهُ،

wa qadi as-tah'-wad'a a'lay-ya a'doo-wukal-lad'ee s-tanz'araka lighawaayatee faanz'ar-tah

23.But over me Your enemy has gained mastery: He asked a delay from You to lead me astray, and You gavest him the delay!

 

وَاسْتَمْهَلَكَ إلَى يَوْمِ الدِّيْنِ لاِضْلاَلِي فَأَمْهَلْتَهُ،

was-tam-halaka ilaa yaw-mid-deeni liiz''-laalee faam-hal-tah

24.He asked a respite from You until the Day of Doom to misguide me, and You gavest him the respite!

 

فَأوْقَعَنِيْ وَقَدْ هَرَبْتُ إلَيْكَ

faaw-qaa'nee wa qad harab-tu ilay-ka

25.So he threw me down, though I had fled to You

 

مِنْ صَغَائِرِ ذُنُوبٍ مُوبِقَةٍ

min- s'aghaaa-iri d'unoobim-moobiqah

26.from small, ruinous sins

 

وَكَبَائِرِ أَعْمَالٍ مُرْدِيَـةٍ

wa kabaaa-iri aa'-maalim-mur-deeah

27.and great, deadly works,

 

حَتَّى إذَا قَارَفْتُ مَعْصِيَتَـكَ

h'at-taaa id'aa qaaraf-tu maa'-s'eeatak

28.until, when I had yielded to disobeying You

 

وَاسْتَوْجَبْتُ بِسُوءِ سَعْيِي سَخْطَتَكَ

was-taw-jab-tu bisooo-i saa'-yee sakh-t'atak

29.and merited Your anger through my bad efforts,

 

فَتَلَ عَنِّي عِذَارَ غَدْرِهِ،

fatala a'n-nee i'd'aara ghad-rih

30.he turned the bridle of his treachery away from me,

 

وَتَلَقَّانِي بكَلِمَةِ كُفْرهِ،

wa talaq-qaanee bikalimati kuf-rih

31.met me with the word of his ingratitude,

 

وَتَوَلَّى الْبَراءَةَ مِنِّي وَأَدْبَرَ مُوَلِّيَاً عَنِّي،

wa tawal-laal-baraaa-ata min-nee wa ad-bara muwal-leeana a'n-nee

32.undertook to be quit of me, turned his back to flee from me,

 

فَأَصْحَرنِي لِغَضَبِكَ فَرِيداً،

faas'-h'aranee lighaz''abika fareedaa

33.threw me to the desert of Your wrath alone,

 

وَأَخْرَجَني إلى فِنَاءِ نَقِمَتِكَ طَرِيداً

wa akh-rajaneee ilaa finaaa-i naqimatika t'areedaa

34.and sent me as an outcast into the courtyard of Your vengeance.

 

لاَ شَفِيعٌ يَشْفَعُ لِيْ إلَيْـكَ،

laa shafeeu'y-yash-fau' leee ilay-k

35.There is no intercessor to intercede for me with You,

 

وَلاَ خَفِيـرٌ يُؤْمِنُنِي عَلَيْـكَ

wa laa khafeeruy-yoo-minunee a'lay-k

36.no protector to make me feel secure against You,

 

وَلاَ حِصْنٌ يَحْجُبُنِي عَنْكَ

wa laa h'is'-nuy-yah'-jubunee a'nk

37.no fortress to veil me from You,

 

وَلاَ مَلاَذٌ أَلْجَأُ إلَيْهِ مِنْكَ.

wa laa malaad'un al-jaa ilay-hee mink

38.no shelter in which to seek asylum apart from You!

 

فَهَذَا مَقَامُ الْعَائِذِ بِكَ، وَمَحَلُّ الْمُعْتَرِفِ لَكَ،

fahd'aa maqaamul-a'aa-id'i bika wa mah'al-lul-mua'-tarifi lak

39.This is the station of him who takes refuge with You, the place of the confessor to You:

 

فَلاَ يَضِيقَنَّ عَنِّي فَضْلُكَ، وَلا يَقْصُـرَنَّ دونِي عَفْوُكَ،

falaa yaz''eeqan-na a'n-nee faz''-luk wa laa yaq-s'uran-na doonee a'f-wuk

40.Let not Your bounty be too narrow for me, let not Your pardon fall short of me!

 

وَلا أكُنْ أَخْيَبَ عِبَادِكَ التَّائِبِينَ،

wa laaa akun akh-yaba i'baadikat-taaa-ibeen

41.Let me not be the most disappointed of Your repentant servants,

 

وَلاَ أَقْنَطَ وفُودِكَ الآمِلِينَ

wa laaa aq-nat'a wfoodikal-aaamileen

42.nor the most despairing of those who come to You with expectations!

 

وَاغْفِرْ لِي إنَّكَ خَيْرُ الْغَافِرِينَ.

wagh-fir leee in-naka khay-rul-ghaafireen

43.Forgive me, surely You art the best of the forgivers!

 

أللَّهُمَّ إنَّكَ أَمَرْتَنِي فَتَرَكْتُ، وَنَهَيْتَنِي فَرَكِبْتُ،

al-laahum-ma in-nak amar-tanee fatarak-t wa nahay-tanee farakib-t

44.O God, You commanded me, and I refrained, You prohibited me, and I committed.

 

وَسَوَّلَ لِيَ الْخَطَأَ خَاطِرُ السُّوءِ فَفَرَّطْتُ،

wa saw-wala leeal-khat'aaa-a khaat'irus-sooo-i fafar-rat'-t

45.evil thoughts tempted me to offend, and I was negligent.

 

وَلا أَسْتَشْهِدُ عَلَى صِيَامِي نَهَـاراً،

wa laaa as-tash-hidu a'laa s'eeaamee nahaaraa

46.I cannot call upon daytime to witness my fasting,

 

وَلاَ أَسْتَجِيرُ بِتَهَجُّدِي لَيْلاً،

wa laaa as-tajeeru bitahaj-judee lay-laa

47.nor can I seek sanctuary in night because of my vigil;

 

وَلاَ تُثْنِي عَلَيَّ بِإحْيَائِهَا سُنَّةٌ

wa laa tuth-nee a'lay-ya biih'-yaaa-ihaa sun-natun

48.no Sunna praises me for keeping it alive,

 

حَـاشَا فُرُوضِـكَ الَّتِي مَنْ ضَيَّعَها هَلَكَ،

h'aashaa furooz''ikal-latee man z''ay-yaa'haa halak

49.only Your obligations, he who neglects which has perished.

 

وَلَسْتُ أَتَوَسَّلُ إلَيْكَ بِفَضْلِ نَافِلَة

wa las-tu atawas-salu ilay-ka bifaz''-li naafilatin

50.I cannot seek access to You through the excellence of a supererogatory work,

 

مَعَ كَثِيرِ مَا أَغْفَلْتُ مِنْ وَظَائِفِ فُرُوضِكَ،

maa' katheeri maaa agh-fal-tu miw-waz'aaa-ifi furooz''ik

51.given the many duties of Your obligations of which I have been heedless

 

وَتَعَدَّيْتُ عَنْ مَقَامَاتِ حُدُودِكَ

wa taa'd-day-tu a'm-maqaamaati h'udoodika

52.and the stations of Your bounds which I have transgressed,

 

إلَى حُرُمَات انْتَهَكْتُهَا، وَكَبَائِرِ ذُنُوب اجْتَرَحْتُهَا

ilaa h'urumaatin antahak-tuhaa wa kabaaa-iri d'unoobin aj-tarah'-tuhaa

53.thereby violating sacred things and committing great sins,

 

كَانَتْ عَافِيَتُكَ لِي مِنْ فَضَائِحِهَا سِتْراً.

kaanat a'afeeatuka lee min faz''aaa-ih'ihaa sit-raa

54.though You hast given me safety from their disgraces as a covering.

 

وَهَذَا مَقَامُ مَنِ اسْتَحْيَى لِنَفْسِهِ مِنْكَ،

wa had'aa maqaamu man as-tah'-yaa linaf-sihee mink

55.This is the station of him who is ashamed of himself before You,

 

وَسَخِطَ عَلَيْهَا، وَرَضِيَ عَنْكَ

wa sakhit'a a'lay-haa wa raz''eea a'nka

56.angry with himself, and satisfied with You.

 

فَتَلَقَّاكَ بِنَفْس خَاشِعَة، وَرَقَبَة خَاضِعَة، وَظَهْر مُثْقَل مِنَ الْخَطَايَا

fatalaq-qaaka binaf-sin khaashia'h wa raqabatin khaaz''ia'h wa z'ah-rim-muth-qalim-mina alkhat'aayaa

57.He meets You with a humble soul, a neck bent down, a back heavy with offenses,

 

وَاقِفاً بَيْنَ الرَّغْبَةِ إلَيْكَ وَالرَّهْبَةِ مِنْكَ،

waaqifam-bay-nar-ragh-bati ilay-ka war-rah-bati mink

58.hesitating between longing for You and fear of You.

 

وَأَنْتَ أَوْلَى مَنْ رَجَـاهُ،

wa anta aw-laa mar-rajaahoo

59.You art the most worthy of those in whom he might hope,

 

وَأَحَقُّ مَنْ خَشِيَـهُ وَاتّقـاهُ،

wa ah'aq-qu man khasheeahoo wa at-taqaah

60.the most deserving for him to dread and fear.

 

فَاعْطِنِي يَا رَبِّ مَا رَجَوْتُ، وَآمِنِّي مَا حَذِرْتُ،

faaa'-t'inee yaa rab-bi maa rajaw-t wa aaamin-nee maa h'ad'ir-t

61.So give me, my Lord, what I hope for, make me secure against what frightens me,

 

وَعُدْ عَلَيَّ بِعَائِدَةِ رَحْمَتِكَ إنَّكَ أكْرَمُ الْمَسْؤُولِينَ.

wa u'd a'lay-ya bia'aa-idati rah'-matik in-naka ak-ramul-mas-ooleen

62.and act kindly toward me with the kindly act of mercy! Surely You art the most generous of those from whom are asked!

 

أللَّهُمَّ وَإذْ سَتَـرْتَنِي بِعَفْوِكَ وَتَغَمَّـدْتَنِي بِفَضْلِكَ

al-laahum-ma wa id' satar-tanee bia'f-wik wa tagham-mat-tanee bifaz''-lika

63.O God, since You hast covered me with Your pardon and shielded me with Your bounty

 

فِي دَارِ الْفَنَاءِ بِحَضرَةِ الأكْفَاءِ

fee daaril-fanaaa-i bih'az''-ratil-ak-faaa-i

64.in the abode of annihilation and the presence of equals

 

فَأَجِرْنِي مِنْ فَضِيحَاتِ دَارِ الْبَقَاءِ

faajir-nee min faz''eeh'aati daaril-baqaaa-i

65.grant me sanctuary from the disgraces of the Abode of Subsistence

 

عِنْدَ مَوَاقِفِ الأشْهَادِ مِنَ المَلائِكَةِ الْمُقَرَّبِينَ

i'nda mawaaqifil-ash-haad minal-malaaa-ikatil-muqar-rabeen

66.at the standing places of the Witnesses (the angels brought nigh,

 

وَالرُّسُلِ الْمُكَرَّمِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ،

war-rusulil-mukar-rameen wash-shuhadaaa-i was'-s'aalih'een

67.the messengers honoured, the martyrs, the righteous)

 

مِنْ جَار كُنْتُ أُكَاتِمُهُ سَيِّئاتِي

min jaarin kuntu ukaatimuhoo say-yi-aatee

68.before the neighbour from whom I have hidden my evil deeds

 

وَمِنْ ذِي رَحِم كُنْتُ أَحْتَشِمُ مِنْهُ فِي سَرِيرَاتِي،

wa min d'ee rah'imin kuntu ah'-tashimu min-hoo fee sareeraatee

69.and the womb relative before whom I feel ashamed in my secret thoughts!

 

لَمْ أَثِقْ بِهِمْ رَبِّ فِي السِّتْرِ عَلَيَّ،

lam athiq bihim rab-bi fis-sit-ri a'lay

70.I trust them not, my Lord, to cover me over,

 

وَوَثِقْتُ بِكَ رَبِّ فِي الْمَغفِرَةِ لِيْ،

wa wathiq-t bika rab-bi fil-magh-firati lee

71.but I trust You, my Lord, to forgive me!

 

وَأَنْتَ أوْلَى مَنْ وُثِقَ بِهِ وَأَعْطَى مَنْ رُغِبَ إلَيْهِ

wa anta aw-laa maw-wuthiqa bih wa aa'-t'aa mar-rughiba ilay-h

72.You art the most worthy of those in whom confidence is had, the most giving of those who are besought,

 

وَأَرْأَفُ مَنِ اسْتُرْحِمَ فَارْحَمْنِي.

wa ar-afu mani as-tur-h'im far-h'am-nee

73.and the most clement of those from whom mercy is asked. So have mercy upon me!

 

أللهُمَّ وَأنتَ حَدَرْتَنِي مَاءً مَهِيناً مِنْ صُلب،

al-laahum-ma wa anta h'adar-tanee maaa-am-maheenaa min s'ul-bim

74.O God, You caused me to descend as mean water from loins

 

مُتَضَائِقِ الْعِظَامِ حَرِجِ الْمَسَالِكِ

mutaz''aaa-iqil-i'z'aami h'arijil-masaalik

75.of narrow bones and tight passages

 

إلَى رَحِم ضَيِّقَة سَتَرْتَهَا بِالْحُجُبِ

ilaa rah'imin z''ay-yqatin satar-tahaa bil-h'ujub

76.into a constricted womb which You hadst covered with veils;

 

تُصَرِّفُنِي حَالاًَ عَنْ حَال حَتَّى انْتَهَيْتَ بِيْ إلَى تَمَامِ الصُّورَةِ

tus'ar-rifunee h'aalana a'n h'aalin h'at-taa antahay-ta beee ilaa tamaamis'-s'oorah

77.You turned me about from state to state until You tookest me to the completion of the form

 

وَأَثْبَتَّ فِيَّ الْجَوَارحَ

wa ath-bat-ta fee-yal-jawaarih'

78.and fixed within me the bodily parts,

 

كَمَا نَعَتَّ فِي كِتَابِكَ

kamaa naa't-ta fee kitaabik

79.as You hast described in Your Book:

 

نُطْفَةً ثُمَّ عَلَقَةً ثُمَّ مُضْغَةً ثُمَّ عِظَاماً

(nut'-fatan thum-ma a'laqatan thum-ma muz''-ghatan thum-ma i'z'aamana

80.a drop, then a clot, then a tissue, then bones,

 

ثُمَّ كَسَوْتَ الْعِظَامَ لَحْماً ثُمَّ أَنْشَأتَنِي خَلْقَاً آخَرَ كَمَا شِئْتَ،

thum-ma kasaw-tal-i'z'aama lah'-mana thum-ma anshaa-tanee khal-qan aaakhar) kamaa shi-t

81.then You garmented the bones with flesh, then You produced me as another creature as You willed (ref.23:12-14).

 

حَتَّى إذَا احْتَجْتُ إلَى رِزْقِكَ،

h'at-taaa id'aa ah'-taj-tu ilaa riz-qika

82.Then, when I needed Your provision,

 

وَلَمْ أَسْتَغْنِ عَنْ غِيَـاثِ فَضْلِكَ

wa lam as-tagh-ni a'n gheeaathi faz''-lik

83.and could not do without the aid of Your bounty,

 

جَعَلْتَ لِي قُـوتـاً مِنْ فَضْلِ طَعَام وَشَرَاب

jaa'l-ta lee qootam-min faz''-li t'aa'amiw-wa sharaabin

84.You appointed for me a nourishment from the bounty of the food and drink

 

أَجْرَيْتَهُ لاِمَتِكَ الَّتِيْ أَسْكَنْتَنِي جَوْفَهَا وَأَوْدَعْتَنِي قَرَارَ رَحِمِهَا،

aj-ray-tahoo liamatikal-latee as-kantanee jaw-fahaa wa aw-daa'-tanee qaraara rah'imihaa

85.which You bestowed upon Your handmaid in whose belly You gavest me to rest and in the lodging of whose womb You deposited me.

 

وَلَوْ تَكِلُنِي يَا رَبِّ فِي تِلْكَ الْحَـالاتِ إلَى حَوْلِي،

wa law takil-nee yaa rab-bi fee til-kal-h'aalaati ilaa h'aw-leee

86.Hadst You entrusted me in those states, my Lord, to my own force

 

أَوْ تَضْطَرُّنِي إلَى قُوّتي

aw taz''-t'ar-runeee ilaa qoo-watee

87.or driven me to have recourse to my own strength,

 

لَكَانَ الْحَوْلُ عَنِّي مُعْتَزِلاً، وَلَكَانَتِ الْقُوَّةُ مِنِّي بَعِيدَةً،

lakaanal-h'aw-lu a'n-nee mua'-tazilaa wa lakaanati alqoo-watu min-nee bae'edah

88.force would have been removed from me and strength taken far away.

 

فَغَذَوْتَنِي بِفَضْلِكَ غِذَاءَ البَرِّ اللَّطِيفِ ،

faghad'aw-tanee bifaz''-lika ghid'aaa-al-bar-ril-lat'eef

89.So You hast fed me through Your bounty with the food of the Good, the Gentle;

 

تَفْعَلُ ذَلِكَ بِي تَطَوُّلاً عَلَيَّ إلَى غَايَتِي هَذِهِ،

taf-a'lu d'alika bee tat'aw-wulana a'lay-ya ilaa ghaayatee had'ih

90.You hast done that for me in graciousness toward me up to this my present point.

 

لاَ أَعْدَمُ بِرَّكَ وَلاَ يُبْطِئُ بِي حُسْنُ صَنِيعِكَ،

laaa aa'-damu bir-rak wa laa yub-t'i-u bee h'us-nu s'aneei'k

91.I do not lack Your goodness nor does Your benefaction keep me waiting.

 

وَلاَ تَتَأكَّدُ مَعَ ذَلِكَ ثِقَتِي،

wa laa tataak-kadu maa' d'alika thiqatee

92.Yet with all that, my trust has not become firm enough

 

فَأَتَفَرَّغَ لِمَا هُوَ أَحْظَى لِيْ عِنْدَكَ،

faatafar-ragha limaa huwa ah'-z'a lee i'ndak

93.that I might free myself for that which is more favoured by You.

 

قَدْ مَلَكَ الشَّيْطَانُ عِنَانِي فِي سُوءِ الظَّنِّ وَضَعْفِ الْيَقِينِ،

qad malakash-shay-t'aanu i'naanee fee sooo-iz'-z'an-ni waz''aa'-fil-yaqeen

94.Satan has taken possession of my reins through my distrust and frail certainty.

 

فَأَنَا أَشْكُو سُوْءَ مُجَاوَرَتِهِ لِي وَطَـاعَةَ نَفْسِي لَـهُ،

faanaa ash-koo sooo-a mujaawaratihee lee wa t'aaa'ta naf-see lah

95.I complain of his evil neighbourhood with me and my soul's obedience toward him!

 

وَأَسْتَعْصِمُـكَ مِنْ مَلَكَتِهِ، وَأَتَضَـرَّعُ إلَيْكَ في صَرفِ كَيدِهِ عَنّي

wa as-taa'-s'imuka mim-malakatih wa ataz''ar-rau' ilay-ka fee s'arf-i kaydihee 'annee

96.I ask You to preserve me against his domination, and I plead with You to turn his trickery away from me!

 

و أسأَلُكَ فِي أَنْ تُسَهِّلَ إلَى رِزْقِي سَبِيلاً،

wa as-aluka feee an tusah-hila ilaa riz-qee sabeela

97.I ask You to make the path to my provision easy,

 

فَلَكَ الْحَمْدُ عَلَى ابْتِدَائِكَ بِالنِّعَمِ الْجِسَامِ،

falakal-h'am-du a'laa ab-tidaaa-ika bin-nia'mil-jisaami

98.since to You belongs praise for Your beginning with immense favours

 

وَإلْهَامِكَ الشُّكْرَ عَلَى الإحْسَانِ وَالإِنْعَامِ ،

haamikash-shuk-ra a'laal-ih'-saani wal-in-a'am

99.and Your inspiring gratitude for beneficence and bestowing favour!

 

فَصَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ

fas'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

100.Bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَسَهِّلْ عَلَيَّ رِزْقِي وَأَنْ تُقَنِّعَنِي بِتَقْدِيرِكَ لِيْ ،

wasah-hil a'lay-ya riz-qee wa an tuq-nia'nee bitaq-deerika lee

101.and make the way to my provision easy for me! [I ask You] to make me content with Your ordainment for me,

 

وَأَنْ تُرْضِيَنِي بِحِصَّتِيْ فِيمَا قَسَمْتَ لِيْ،

wa an tur-z''eeanee bih'is'-s'atee feemaa qasam-ta lee

102.to make me satisfied with my lot in that which You hast apportioned for me

 

وَأَنْ تَجْعَـلَ مَـا ذَهَبَ مِنْ جِسْمِيْ وَعُمُرِيْ

wa an taj-a'la maa d'ahaba min jis-mee wau'm-ree

103.and to place what has gone of my body and my life-span

 

فِي سَبِيْلِ طَاعَتِكَ إنَّكَ خَيْرُ الرَّازِقِينَ.

fee sabeeli t'aaa'tik in-naka khay-rur-raaziqeen

104.into the path of Your obedience! Surely You art the Best of providers!

 

أللَهُمَّ إنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مَنْ نَارٍ تَغَلَّظْتَ بِهَا عَلَى مَنْ عَصَاكَ،

al-laahum-ma in-neee su'wd'u bika min-naar taghal-laz'-ta bihaa a'laa man a's'aak

105.O God, I seek refuge in You from the Fire through which You art harsh toward him who disobeys You

 

وَتَوَعَّدْتَ بِهَا مَنْ صَدَفَ عَنْ رِضَاكَ،

wa tawaa'-a't-ta bihaa man s'adafa a'r-riz''aak

106.and by which You hast threatened him who turns away from Your good pleasure;

 

وَمِنْ نَارٍ نورُهَا ظُلْمَة وَهَيِّنُهَا أَلِيمٌ، وَبَعِيدُهَا قَرِيبٌ،

wa min-naarin-nooruhaa z'ul-mah wa hay-yinuhaaa aleem wa bae'eduhaa qareeb

107.from the Fire whose light is darkness, whose ease is pain, and whose far is near;

 

وَمِنْ نَارٍ يَأْكُلُ بَعْضَهَا بَعْضٌ،

wa min-naaree-yaa-kulu baa'-z''ahaa baa'-z''

108.from the Fire parts of which devour parts

 

وَيَصُولُ بَعْضُهَا عَلَى بَعْض،

wa yas'oolu baa'-z''uhaa a'laa baa'-z''

109.and parts of which leap upon parts;

 

وَمِنْ نَارٍ تَذَرُ الْعِظَامَ رَمِيماً،

wa min-naarin tad'arul-i'z'aama rameemaa

110.from the Fire which leaves bones decayed

 

وَتَسْقِي أَهْلَهَا حَمِيماً ،

wa tas-qeee ah-lahaa h'ameemaa

111.and lets its people drink boiling water;

 

وَمِنْ نَارٍ لاَ تُبْقِي عَلَى مَنْ تَضَرَّعَ إلَيْهَا،

wa min-naaril-laa tub-qee a'laa man taz''ar-raa' ilay-haa

112.from the Fire which 'does not spare him who pleads to it,'

 

وَلاَ تَرْحَمُ مَنِ اسْتَعْطَفَهَا،

wa laa tar-h'amu mani as-taa'-t'afahaa

113.has no mercy on him who seeks sympathy from it,

 

وَلاَ تَقْدِرُ عَلَى التَّخْفِيفِ عَمَّنْ خَشَعَ لَهَا وَاسْتَسْلَمَ إلَيْهَا،

wa laa taq-diru a'laat-takh-feefi a'm-man khashaa' lahaa was-tas-lama ilay-haa

114.and has no power to relieve him who humbles himself before it and yields himself to it;

 

تَلْقَى سُكَّانَهَا بِأَحَرِّ مَا لَدَيْهَا مِنْ أَلِيْمِ النَّكَالِ وَشَدِيدِ الْوَبَالِ،

tal-qaa suk-kaanahaa bih'ar-ri maa laday-haa min aleemin-nakaali washadeedil-wabaal

115.it meets its inhabitants with the hottest that it possesses: painful punishment and intense noxiousness.

 

وَأَعُوذُ بكَ مِنْ عَقَارِبِهَا الْفَاغِرَةِ أَفْوَاهُهَا،

wa au'wd'u bika min- a'qaaribihaal-faaghirati af-waahuhaa

116.seek refuge in You from its gaping-jawed scorpions,

 

وَحَيّاتِهَا الصَّالِقَةِ بِأَنْيَابِهَا،

wa h'ay-yaatihaas'-s'aaliqati binyaabihaa

117.its scraping-toothed serpents,

 

وَشَرَابِهَا الَّذِي يُقَطِّعُ أَمْعَاءَ وَأَفْئِدَةَ سُكَّانِهَا، وَيَنْزِعُ قُلُوبَهُمْ،

wa sharaabihaal-lad'ee yuqat'-t'iu' am-a'aa-a wa af-idata suk-kaanihaa wa yanziu' quloobahum

118.and its drinks, which tear apart the intestines and hearts of its inhabitants and root out their marrows.

 

وَأَسْتَهْدِيْكَ لِمَا باعَدَ مِنْهَا وَأَخَّرَ عَنْهَا.

wa as-tah-deeka limaa baaa'da min-haa wa akh-khara a'n-haa

119.I ask guidance from You to that which will keep far from it and make it retreat!

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِـهِ

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalih

120.O God, bless Muhammad and his Household,

 

وَأَجِرْنِي مِنْهَا بِفَضْل رَحْمَتِكَ،

wa ajir-nee min-haa bifaz''-li rah'-matik

121.grant me sanctuary from it through the bounty of Your mercy,

 

وَأَقِلْنِي عَثَرَاتِي بِحُسْنِ إقَالَتِكَ ،

wa aqil-nee a'tharaatee bih'us-ni iqaalatik

122.release me from my stumbles through Your good releasing,

 

وَلاَ تَخْذُلْنِي يَا خَيْرَ الْمُجيرِينَ

wa laa takh-d'ul-nee yaa khay-ral-mujeereen

123.and abandon me not, O Best of the sanctuary-granters!

 

أللَّهُمَّ إنَّكَ تَقِي الْكَرِيهَةَ ، وَتُعْطِي الْحَسَنَةَ ،

al-laahum-ma in-nak taqeel-kareehah wa tua'-t'eel-h'asanah

124.O God, You protectest from the disliked, givest the good,

 

وَتَفْعَلُ مَا تُرِيـدُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْء قَدِيرٌ.

wa taf-a'lu maa tureed wa anta a'laa kul-li shay-in qadeer

125.dost what You wilt, and You art "powerful over everything" (3:26).

 

أللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ، إذَا ذُكِرَ الأبْرَارُ،

al-laahum-ma s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaaliheee id'aa d'ukiral-ab-raar

126.O God, bless Muhammad and his Household when the pious are mentioned

 

وَصَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّد وَآلِهِ مَا اخْتَلَفَ اللَّيْلُ وَالنَّهَارُ

wa s'al-li a'laa muh'am-madiw-wa aaalihee makh-talafal-lay-lu wan-nahaar

127.and bless Muhammad and his Household as long as night and day come

 

صَلاَةً لاَ يَنْقَطِعُ مَدَدُهَا،

s'alaatal-laa yanqat'iu' madaduhaa

128.and go with a blessing whose replenishment is never cut off

 

وَلاَ يُحْصَى عَدَدُهَا صَلاَةً تَشْحَنُ الْهَوَاءَ،

wa laa yuh'-s'aa a'daduhaa s'alaatan tash-h'anul-hawaaa-a

129.and whose number cannot be counted, a blessing that will fill up the air

 

وَتَمْلاُ الأرْضَ وَالسَّماءَ.

wa tam-laal-ar-z''a was-samaaa-

130.and crowd the earth and the heaven!

 

صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ حَتَّى يَرْضَى،

s'al-laal-laahoo a'lay-hee h'at-taa yarz''aa

131.God bless him until he is well pleased

 

وَصَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ

wa s'al-laal-laahoo a'lay-hee wa aaalihee

132.and God bless him and his Household

 

بَعْدَ الرِّضَا صَلاَةً لا حَدَّ لَها

baa'-dar-riz''aa s'alaatal-laa h'ad-da lahaa

133.after good pleasure with a blessing that has neither bound

 

وَلاَ مُنْتَهَى يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِيْنَ.

wa laa muntahaa yaaa ar-h'amar-raah'imeen

134.nor utmost limit! O Most Merciful of the merciful!

   

thegrangehall.com/2009/03/23/communication/#more-1028

"Telephone companies have been abandoning their public telephone booths by taking out the phones and leaving the structures beehind. (Probably due to the rise in cell phone users.) I want to reuse these structures as a way of communication with the public once more by replacing that empty space with paper-mache beehives. To me, this symbolizes the irony beehind the question, 'where have so many of the bees gone' and the theory that cell phone signals have been misguiding their normal patterns of migration"

  

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Preface :)

 

Anything of goodness that came to me, came by way of the blessed Ahl e Beit - the family of the Prophet (salutations and greetings upon Sayyeduna Misbah, the Lantern, and his family) - Ghaus Pak (ra)

 

In the context of all my relationships as of late, I have discovered that the "misfortune" that comes my way in the form of disappointment or sadness of the heart, comes by way of a naqs, shortcoming or deficiency in my character and manners. What we call akhlaq in the Arabic.

 

in the Quran the verse that extols the highest praise upon the Beloved (salutations and greetings upon the one He calls Ajmal, the most beautiful and his most beautiful family) is

 

‏وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍۢ ‎

 

Indeed, surely, you are of an excellent moral character.

 

Surah Al Qalam, Verse 4

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa Innaka: And indeed, you, the one whose manner is the perfection of the Attributes of Allah Subhanahu, (man takhalluqe-ka bil akhlaq Allah) and your being in a state of conviction in the Station of Friendship and Vice-regency…

 

La’ala khuluq-in adeem: you are of an excellent moral character. No one’s excellence of manners is more superb than your manners because you hold and have gathered the characters of the ones before you and the ones after you as per the totality of your rank.

 

The Naqshbandi Spiritual Master, Sheikh Nurjan (ra), says notably that the verse is the proof that of all things being observed by Subhanahu in a human being, above all is their manner with another.

 

"What is Allah Azzo Jal then saying here; Not you have the perfect aqeeda, belief, imaan, faith, taqwa, piety, iqaan, certainty, shukr, gratitude, sabr, patience and on and on the list goes, even though he is without doubt gifted them all as the perfect manifestation of all of Subhanahu's Beautiful Names and Attributes.

 

It is that you possess the most excellent manners, how you behave with other human beings in every single sense."

 

Hence it doesn't matter what we do as much as how we do it. For all generosity and all consideration goes to naught if the manner of its execution is harsh and an attitude towards anyone is unforgiving.

 

After a lifetime of knowing the words, I finally hear the call of Maula e Kayinaat (as) who said, "Your disappointments are not from people. They come from your expectations of them." Which breed the silent bughz, grudges and unspoken gheebat, back-biting between me and my self, making me miserable that I feel those things about whom I claim affection.

 

For all it ever makes me is vehement. I learnt the word, مَلَكَةِ الْحَمِيَّةِ, from a prayer of Imam Zain ul Abedin's (as) where he asked for refuge from hateful things and it struck me how I was drowning my own self in that state. Overcome by a quality that came naturally, insane "strictness" with "misguided enthusiasm."

 

But now I hear a call that says: Ya Mariam! Be who you are. Not who you become because another regresses and you regress right along with them. Every single time!

 

I was telling my dearest cousin Rahim, We cannot change. We have to be changed. Two means of that, I conclude, are feeding the hungry and dua - invoking Subhanahu in the words of His Chosen Ones. It's that simple.

 

For everything in spirituality pivots on ehsaas, consideration for the state of another's heart. The needle of that pivot is akhlaq.

 

On that note, we await the night that will change us. Just like the moon changes effortlessly...because any ease that came my way, undeniably came by way of the blessed Ahl e Beit (salutations and greetings upon them and their gaze of love upon me).

 

Subhan Allah!

  

437. Whatever problems befall you come from your own hands

 

وَمَآ أَصَـٰبَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍۢ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُوا۟ عَن كَثِيرٍۢ ٣٠

 

And whatever befalls you of (the) misfortune, (is because) of what have earned your hands. But He pardons much.

 

Surah Shoora, Verse 30

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And know Ayyoha al adlaal al haalika, O ones who are shadows that are vanishing in themselves…

 

Ma asaabakum mim museebat-in: that which befalls you of misfortune, harmful, painful…

 

Fabima kasabat aydeekum: so it is because it is the outcome of your own hands i.e. because of your perpetrating disobedience and sinful deeds…

 

Wa: and while (He knows it)…

 

Ya’fu: He forgives, Subhanahu…

 

An katheer: most of it. He does not punish you because of those sins with misfortune, showing you kindness and giving you ease.

 

Subhan Allah!

  

438. Allah is our Lord and yours and for us are our deeds and you yours. There is no argument between us and we will all return to Him

 

ٱللَّهُ رَبُّنَا وَرَبُّكُمْ ۖ

لَنَآ أَعْمَـٰلُنَا وَلَكُمْ أَعْمَـٰلُكُمْ ۖ

لَا حُجَّةَ بَيْنَنَا وَبَيْنَكُمُ ۖ

ٱللَّهُ يَجْمَعُ بَيْنَنَا ۖ

وَإِلَيْهِ ٱلْمَصِيرُ ١٥

 

Allah (is) our Lord and your Lord.

For us our deeds and for you your deeds.

(There is) no argument between us and between you.

Allah will assemble [between] us,

and to Him (is) the final return."

 

Surah Ash Shoora, Verse 15

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

(Continuing from the first part of the same verse) so I am ordered to do the preaching of His Messages and clarifying them for you and (I am bidden to do) your training and your perfection because…

 

Allahu: Allah is Al Mudabbir, The Only One who governs the matters of all His Servants…

 

Rabbu-na: who is our Lord who raises us for instruction and perfection…

 

Wa Rabbu-kum: and your Lord who wills that He raises you with guidance and instruction and if it was not that we were commanded from Him, Subhanahu, for your guidance and your instruction, we would not be with you because…

 

Lana a’maaluna: for us are our deeds i.e. the reward for whether they are good or wicked…

 

Wa lakum: and (the reward) for you your deeds will be the same because all of us and all of you are recompensed by what we do.

 

La hujjatan: There is no argument i.e. no fight and enemity…

 

Baynana wa baynakum: between us and between you after we have conveyed to you what we were commanded to convey and we clearly explained to you the way of Allah Al Haqq and overall…

 

Allahu: Allah i.e. The Essence that is Al Mustajmi’u, who collects all of the (existing) Names and Attributes…

 

Yajam’u baynana: He gathers us and all of you if it is His Will to gather us…

 

Wa: and how can He not gather us, Subhanahu…

 

Ilayhi al maseer: (when) we will all return to Him i.e. the returning of all is towards Him as they appeared from Him.

  

On a night of keeping vigil, an understanding of some verses on supplication from Ghaus Pak (ra)

 

426. The Prayer series – Call upon Me and I will respond to you

 

وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدۡعُونِیۤ أَسۡتَجِبۡ لَكُمۡۚ إِنَّ ٱلَّذِینَ یَسۡتَكۡبِرُونَ عَنۡ عِبَادَتِی سَیَدۡخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِینَ

 

And said your Lord, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you.

Indeed, those who (are) proud to worship Me will enter Hell (in) humiliation."

 

Surah Ghafir, Verse 60

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And after Subhanahu points towards the station of the two groups, the muwwahid, the believer in One-ness and the mushrik, the one who associate others with Allah, He pointed towards the one who focuses his attention upon Him affectionately and intends towards His One-ness, persevering and endeavouring, invoking Him humbly, that He answers him and makes him receive success in his ask, such that…

 

Qala Rabbukum: Your Lord said, who raises you upon the nature of Tauheed, One-ness and Irfaan, recognizing (Him)…

 

Ud’ooni: call Me O Mukallifoon, the ones who are ordered to obey Allah’s Commands, according to the aql, the power to reason, poured (upon you) as is appropriate for My Being invoked, and they remained focused towards Me in the state of being Mukhliseen, the sincere, without looking towards (other) means and ways in the Universe…

 

Astajib lakum: I will respond to your prayer and connect you to your purpose and your goal, which is Tauheed az Zaati, the One-ness of My Essence, so compulsory upon you is to not become too proud to worship Me and to be obedient to Me.

 

And overall:

 

Inna: Indeed, Al Musrifeena, the ones who are the transgressors of boundaries…

 

Alladina yastakbiroona: who are too arrogant and refuse…

 

An ibadati: My worship (i.e praying before Me) due to their false opinions and (following) their corrupt desires…

 

Sayadkhuloona: so soon they will enter on the Day of Recompense…

 

Jahannama: the Hell of deprivation and disappointment…

 

Dakhireen: belittled, humiliated, disgraced.

 

Astaghfirullah!

  

427. And when they ask about me, tell them O Beloved (salutations and greetings upon you and your family by Me, your Lord who raises you will only with love), I am near

 

وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِى عَنِّى فَإِنِّى قَرِيبٌ ۖ

أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ ٱلدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ

ۖ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا۟ لِى وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا۟ بِى لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ ١٨٦

 

And when they ask you, My Servants, about Me then (tell them), indeed I am near. I respond (to the) invocation (of) the supplicant when he calls Me. So let them respond to Me and let them believe in Me, so that they may (be) led aright.

 

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 186

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And for this reason (the Companions asked in their love for their Lord, Is Allah near us or far?), Subhanahu informs His Prophet (salutations and greetings upon Nabi Kareem who is His Gift to the Universe and his blessed family) for the instruction of His Servants, who are grateful for His Blessing, about His Closeness towards them by His Saying:

 

Ida sa’alaka: If they ask you, Ayyoha Ad’Daa’i, O Caller of Creation towards Allah Al Haqq (salutations and greetings upon you and your family from Me in continuance)…

 

Ibadi: My Servants, Ash Shakireen, the ones grateful for The Bestower of the Blessings…

 

Ann-ni: (they ask) about Me by their words: Is He near us, our Lord who raises us, so we should speak to him softly like we speak to ourselves or is He far from us so we should call out to Him as we call out to someone distant, tell them Ya Akmal Ar Rusul, O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (salutations and greetings upon the Hadi-n, the guide, and his blessed family), in answer to them on behalf of Me …

 

Fa-inni qareebun: indeed I am nearer to them than their own selves such that…

 

Ajeebu da’wata ad-da’i da’ani: I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls Me, answering him swiftly with an answer to his prayer like He points towards Himself in the Hadith Qudsi narrated by Subhanahu (tell them…)…

 

Falyastajeebu li: so let them respond to Me also in all of their affairs and their needs…

 

Walyu-mino bi: and believe in Me as the ones Mu’taqideen, the ones with strong belief that I will make them reach towards the fulfillment of their wishes because there is no place of return for them apart from Me and no refuge for them in (their) being except Me and indeed, they were informed and commanded by what they were commanded…

 

La’allahum yarshudoon: hoping that they are guided towards the Rank of Tauheed, Allah’s One-ness, as Rashideen, the guided ones, Mutma’ineen, the contended ones.

 

Then Ghaus Pak (ra) prays:

 

اهدنا بلطفك إلى مقر عزك يا هادي المضلين

 

Guide us by Your Lutf, Kindness, towards Maqarra Izzika, the Abode of Your Honour, Ya Hadi il Mudaleen, O You who is the Only Guide for the ones astray!

 

Ameen!

  

428. Who responds to the one distressed when he call Him and removes his evil? Allah!

 

أَمَّن يُجِيبُ ٱلْمُضْطَرَّ إِذَا دَعَاهُ وَيَكْشِفُ ٱلسُّوٓءَ وَيَجْعَلُكُمْ خُلَفَآءَ ٱلْأَرْضِ ۗ

أَءِلَـٰهٌۭ مَّعَ ٱللَّهِ ۚ قَلِيلًۭا مَّا تَذَكَّرُونَ ٦٢

 

Or Who responds (to) the distressed one when he calls Him and He removes the evil and makes you inheritors (of) the earth? Is there any god with Allah? Little (is) what you remember.

 

Surah An Naml, Verse 62

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

A’mmayyu yujeebul mudtarra: (Continuing from the verses 60-61 Subhanahu asks) Or does the one who answers the distressed, the one anxious, confused in his matter without instruction about deliverance from it and being saved from it forever…

 

Ida da’ahu: when he supplicates before Him, calling him, hopeful, beseeching Him, Subhanahu…

 

Wa: and who…

 

Yakshifu us soo’a: removes the hardship, causing aggravation for the people of grief and pain…

 

Wa: and who…

 

Yajalukum khulufa’ al ard: makes you the inheritors of the Earth from amongst your ancestors who passed upon it…

 

A’ ilahun ma’allah-i: are they a god with Allah, Al Wahid, The Only One, Al Ahad, The One and Only, As Samad, The One above everything, whom you call upon or worship, Ya Ayyoha Jahiloon, O Ignorant Ones, Al Musrifoona, who transgress boundaries, Al Makabiroona, the ones who think of themselves as proud and arrogant and from the extremes of your jahal, ignorance and ghaflat, forgetfulness, about the worship of Allah Al Haqq and the depths of your transgression and waywardness from His Tauheed, One-ness…

 

Qaleelam ma tadakkaroon: little is the advice you accept i.e. only a few from amongst you remember the Blessings of Allah and His Favours (pouring) continuously upon you, following each other in succession. 

  

429. Allah Subhanahu is Ever-Living so call Him sincerely

 

هُوَ ٱلْحَىُّ لَآ إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ فَٱدْعُوهُ مُخْلِصِينَ لَهُ ٱلدِّينَ ۗ

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ ٱلْعَـٰلَمِينَ ٦٥

 

He (is) the Ever-Living; (there is) no god but He, so call Him, (being) sincere to Him (in) the religion. All praise (be) to Allah, (the) Lord (of) the worlds.

 

Surah Ghafir, Verse 65

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Instead…

 

Huwal Hayyu: He is the Ultimate Truth, forever, till the end, in permanence (without a beginning and an end), Al Mustaghni, Self-Sufficient from the counting of time and measurement of space totally…

 

La ilaha: there is no god in presence except Him and there is no one present who can be worshipped…

 

Illa huwa: except His Essence and after you heard this, O Mukallifoona, those obedient to Allah’s Commands, the characteristics of His Names and Attributes of Subhanahu…

 

Faduhu mukhliseen: then call Him, O sincere ones, and worship only and only Him…

 

Lahu ud deen: in the religion i.e. worshipping and following because there is no one else deserving of obedience and worship except Him. And after you return to Him as Mukhliseena, sincere, and after you worship only and only Him, say with the tongue wholeheartedly:

 

Alhamdo: all praise is for Al Mustaw’ib, The Only Collector of all of the admiration arising from the tongues of the ordinary in appearance, which is for sure (that praise)…

 

Lillahi Rabbil alimeen: for Him, the Lord of the Worlds because He is Alone in His being worshipped and permanent in His being Rabb, Lord, without doubt of association and sharing.

 

Subhan Allah!

  

430. So call Subhanahu by His Perfect Names

 

وَلِلَّهِ ٱلْأَسْمَآءُ ٱلْحُسْنَىٰ فَٱدْعُوهُ بِهَا ۖ

وَذَرُوا۟ ٱلَّذِينَ يُلْحِدُونَ فِىٓ أَسْمَـٰٓئِهِۦ ۚ

سَيُجْزَوْنَ مَا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ ١٨٠

 

And for Allah (are) the names - the most beautiful, so invoke Him by them.

And leave those who deviate concerning His names.

They will be recompensed for what they used to do.

 

Surah Al Ar’aaf, Verse 180

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And know Ayyoha al Fudula’, the special ones who use their intellect, al Urufa, the special ones who recognize Allah, Al Muwwahidoon, the special ones who believe in His One-ness…

 

Lillahi: for Allah Al Muttawahid, The Only Lord, Al Muttafarrid, The Uniquely Incomparable One in His Essence…

 

Al Asma’ ul Husna: are the Perfect Names, which are derived from the Exalted Attributes arising out of the signs of happenings in the realm of creation and destruction and the realm of appearing and the unseen and this world and the Hereafter…

 

Fad’uhu: so call Him, Subhanahu, Ayyoha al Muwwahidoona, the ones who believe in his One-ness…

 

Biha: by them and relate to the happenings which are happening from these Names first and by His Essence…

 

Wa daro: and leave those i.e. rebuff and leave the words…

 

Alladina yulhidoona: of those who refuse to believe, who turn away and who associate others with Him…

 

Fi Asma’i-hi: in His Names by associating happenings with means first and (also associating) with His Essence and stay away from their religions and isolate from them and their gatherings and be sure that every one…

 

Sa-yujzauna: will soon be rewarded upon the requisites…

 

Ma kanu ya’maloon: of what they do, if it is good then with goodness and if it is evil then with evil.

  

431-432. The one who purifies himself succeeds and remembers His Lord’s Names and prays

 

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن تَزَكَّىٰ ١٤

وَذَكَرَ ٱسْمَ رَبِّهِۦ فَصَلَّىٰ ١٥

 

Certainly, has succeeded (one) who purifies (himself),

And remembers (the) name (of) his Lord and prays.

 

Surah Al’a, Verse 14-15

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Then said Subhanahu in the way of admonition…

 

Qad aflaha: certainly is successful and achieved triumph with the great rank and the station exalted…

 

Man tazakka: the one who purified and cleansed the pollution of (one’s) nature and the tarnish of their identity from the inclination towards the world and everything in it from the temporary attractions and the forbidden desires, which do not remain, and focus towards Al Maula, The Lord, with sincere determination.

 

Wa dakara: And he remembered in the beginning of his desire and the origin of his want (towards Him)…

 

Isma’ Rabbi-hi: the Names of His Lord i.e. the group of the Names of His Lord, keeping in mind their meaning, consciously, feeling happy, with a yearning…

 

Fa salla: so he prays and is inclined towards Him, Subhanahu, in all times of His Commands, establishing them, abstaining upon his nafs, self, the ordinary attractions of his world.

  

433-434. There are signs within the Earth and within yourselves, then do you not see?

 

وَفِى ٱلْأَرْضِ ءَايَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْمُوقِنِينَ ٢٠

وَفِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ

أَفَلَا تُبْصِرُونَ ٢١

 

There are ˹countless˺ signs on earth for those who are certain,

And within yourselves, so do you not see?

 

Surah Ad-Dhariyat, Verse 20-21

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Then pointed Subhanahu towards the Expansiveness of the One-ness of His Essence, which comprises everything which is apparent and hidden in the horizons and in the selves with permanence and in all individuals and the specific Secrets of Allah’s One-ness in each speck of the Universe, warning the mureed, the one who intends to reach His Essence, al mustabsir, the one who wants to see Him and to arouse them from the sleep of ghaflat, ignorance and the yawn of nisyaan, forgetfulness, so He said…

 

Wa fil ardi: and in this Earth i.e. the realm of means and capabilities expressed in the horizons, prepared for the appearance of the Signs of the Perfect Control of Allah being Lord from the amazing and strange (things), sprouting from Perfect Knowledge and Abundant Wisdom which are certain arguments and clarifications and a witnessing of the clear proof which are manifesting the Power of As Sani’, The Only One who manufactures, Al Hakeem, The Only One whose Judgement is perfect, and manifesting the Essence of His One-ness and His Control in all of His Matters and His

Permanence in His Governing and His Authority…

 

Lil Mo’qineen: for the ones possessing certainty, Al Munkashifeena, the ones who unveil by knowledge and witnessing and (experiencing) the ultimate truth and also…

 

Wa fi anfusikum: and in your selves (the ordinary) also, Ayyoha al Mustabsiroona, those who want to see Him, Al Mustakshifoona, the ones who seek to unveil the Secrets of Allah’s being the only One worshipped and the Secrets of His Being Lord and considering Him as being The Only One in His Appearance and His Presence…

 

Afala tubsiroon: and still do you not see Ayyoha al Majbuloona, the ones set up upon the nature of kashf, unveiling and shuhood, witnessing.

  

Thus we begin the night with the prayers by way of the blessed Imam Zain ul Abedin (as).

  

www.duas.org/sajjadiya/sajjadiya.htm

  

*** Keeping in mind the important requisite that the etiquette of dua is to give a sadqa, a charitable giving, not obligatory, before it ***

 

And on that note...

 

442. If you people owned the treaures of the world, you would never spend them for Man is stingy

  

قُل لَّوْ أَنتُمْ تَمْلِكُونَ خَزَآئِنَ رَحْمَةِ رَبِّىٓ إِذًۭا لَّأَمْسَكْتُمْ خَشْيَةَ ٱلْإِنفَاقِ ۚ وَكَانَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنُ قَتُورًۭا ١٠٠

 

Say, "If you possess the treasures (of) the Mercy (of) my Lord, then surely you would withhold (out of) fear (of) spending." And is man stingy.

 

Surah Bani Israel, Verse 100

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Qul: Say to the Munkireen, the refusers, Al Muttawahhimeen, who are deluded in thinking of the perishing of Allah’s Qudra, Authority and His Hawla, Power and His Quwwat, Strength, that it will expire, (tell them) about His Intent: Don’t compare the unseen with the witnessed and don’t think of miserliness and stinginess and helplessness and obligation on behalf of Allah but instead (know) everything is from your attributes and your characters because:

 

Lau antum tamlikoona khaza’in rahma Rabbi: if you possessed the treasures of the Mercy of my Lord with their abundance and the absence of their finishing and certain endlessness…

 

Idan la amsaktum: so then surely you would withhold and be stingy…

 

Khashiyat infaaq: out of fear of spending i.e. the fear of it finishing with spending without replacing what is spent…

 

Wa kana al insaanu: and Man is indeed created in his original nature…

 

Qatoora: stingy, withholding (by hoarding) in abundance the necessities in this world, not spending of the treasures, because he is most needy of everything created and is most distant from the Essence of the One-ness of Allah because Man is the last point of the circle of Creation and he is the end-game and he can become the first dot of the circle of Allah’s Presence, if he removes himself from the garments of the world and detaches himself from it just once without the mixture of disfigurement and shortcomings.

 

Just once......Unbelievable!

 

The first key to reverse the worst of my nature: Dua No. 20

  

ْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

 

bis-mil-lahir-rahmamnir-rahim

 

In the Name of Allah, the All-merciful, the All-compassionate

 

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَبَلِّغْ بِإِيمَانِي أَكْمَلَ الإِيمَانِ

 

wa bal-ligh bi-imani ak-malal-iman

 

cause my faith to reach the most perfect faith,

  

وَاجْعَلْ يَقِينِي أَفْضَلَ الْيَقِينِ

 

waj-a'l yaqini af-zalal-yaqin

 

make my certainty the most excellent certainty,

  

وَانتَهِ بِنِيَّتِي إِلَى أَحْسَنِ النِّيَّاتِ، وَبِعَمَلِي إِلَى أَحْسَنِ الأَعْمَاِل

 

wantahi bi-ni-yati ila ah-san-ni-yati wa bi-a'mali ila ah-sanil-a'-mal

 

and take my intention to the best of intentions, and my works to the best of works!

  

اللَّهُمَّ

 

allahumma

 

O Allah,

  

وَفِّرْ بِلُطْفِكَ نِيَّتِي

 

waf-fir bilut-fika ni-yati

 

complete my intention through Your gentleness,

  

وَصَحِّحْ بِمَا عِندَكَ يَقِينِي

 

wa sah-hih bima i'ndaka yaqini

 

rectify my certainty through what is with You,

  

وَاسْتَصْلِحْ بِقُدْرَتِكَ مَا فَسَدَ مِنِّي

 

was-tas-lih biqud-ratika ma fasada min-ni

 

And set right what is corrupt in me through Your power!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَاكْفِنِي مَا يَشْغَلُنِي الإِهْتِمَامُ بِهِ

 

wak-fini ma yash-ghalunil-ih-timamu bih

spare me the concerns which distract me,

  

وَاسْتَعْمِلْنِي بِمَا تَسْألُنِي غَداً عَنْهُ

 

was-ta'-mil-ni bima tas-aluni ghadan a'n-h

 

employ me in that about which You will ask me tomorrow,

  

وَاسْتَفْرِغْ أَيَّامِي فِيمَا خَلَقْتَنِي لَهُ

 

was-taf-righ ay-yami fima khalaq-tani lah

 

And let me pass my days in that for which You hast created me!

  

وَاغْنِنِي وَأَوْسِعْ عَلَيَّ فِي رِزْقِكَ

 

wa agh-nini wa aw-sia' a'lay-ya fi rizqik

 

Free me from need, and expand Your provision toward me,

  

وَلا تَفْتِنِّي بِالنَّظَرِ

 

wa-la taf-tin-ni bin-nazar

 

And tempt me not with ingratitude!

  

وَأَعِزَّنِي وَلا تَبْتَلِيَنِّي بِالْكِبْرِ

 

wa ai'z-za ni wa-la tab-tali-yani-y bil-kib-r

 

Exalt me and afflict me not with pride!

  

وَعَبِّدْنِي لَكَ وَلا تُفْسِدْ عِبِادَتِي بِالعُجْبِ

 

wa a'b-bid-ni laka wa-la tuf-sid i'bidati bil-u'j-b

 

Make me worship You and corrupt not my worship with self-admiration!

  

وَأَجْرِ لِلنَّاسِ عَلَى يَدَيَّ الْخَيْرَ وَلا تَمْحَقْهُ بِالْمَنِّ

 

wa aj-ri lin-nasi a'la yaday-yal-khayra wa-la tam-haq-hu bil-man-n

 

Let good flow out from my hands upon the people and efface it not by my making them feel obliged!

  

وَهَبْ لِي مَعَاِلي الأَخْلاَقِ

 

wa hab liya ma'ali-yal-akh-laq

 

Give me the highest moral traits

  

وَاعْصِمْنِي مِنَ الْفَخْرِ

 

wa a'-sim-ni minal-fakh-r

 

And preserve me from vainglory!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَلا تَرْفَعْنِي فِي النَّاسِ دَرَجَةً إِلا حَطَطْتَنِي عِندَ نَفْسِي مِثْلَهَا

 

wa la tar-fa'-ni fin-nasi darajatan il-la hatat-tani i'nda naf-si mith-laha

 

raise me not a single degree before the people without lowering me its like in myself

  

وَلا تُحْدِثْ لِي عِزّاً ظَاهِراً إِلاَّ أَحْدَثْتَ لِي ذِلَّةً بَاطِنَةً عِندَ نَفْسِي بِقَدَرِهَا

 

wa-la tuh-dith li i'z-zan zahiran il-la ah-dath-ta li dhil-latam batinatan i'nda naf-si biqadariha

 

And bring about no outward exaltation for me without an inward abasement in myself to the same measure!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-li muhammad

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and Muhammad's Household,

  

وَمَتِّعْنِي بِهُدَىً صَاِلحٍ لا أَسْتَبْدِلُ بِهِ،

 

wa mat-tia'-ni bihudan salihil-la as-tabdilu bih

 

give me to enjoy a sound guidance which I seek not to replace,

  

وَطَرِيقَةِ حَقٍّ لا أَزِيغُ عَنْهَا،

 

wa tariqati haq-qil-la azighu a'n-ha

 

a path of truth from which I swerve not,

  

وَنِيَّةِ رَشْدٍ لا أَشُكُّ فِيهَا

 

wa ni-yati rush-dil-la ashuk-ku fiha

 

And an intention of right conduct in which I have no doubts!

  

وَعَمِّرْنِي مَا كَانَ عُمْرِي بِذْلَةً فِي طَاعَتِكَ، فَإِذَا كَانَ عُمْرِي مَرْتَعاً لِلشَّيْطَانِ فَاقْبِضْنِي إِلَيْكَ، قَبْلَ أَن يَّسْبِقَ مَقْتُكَ إِلَيَّ، أَوْ يَسْتَحْكِمَ غَضَبُكَ عَلَيَّ

 

wa a'mmir-ni ma kana u'm-ri bidhlatan fi ta'tika fa-idha kana u'm-ri mar-ta'al-lish-shaytani faq-bizni ilayka qab-la ayyasbiqa maq-tuka ilay-ya aw yas-tah-kima ghazabuka a'lay-ya

 

Let me live as long as my life is a free gift in obeying You, but if my life should become a pasture for Satan, seize me to Yourself before Your hatred overtakes me or Your wrath against be becomes firm!

 

اللَّهُمَّ

 

allahumma

 

O Allah,

  

لا تَدَعْ خِصْلَةً تُعَابُ مِنِّي إِلاَّ أَصْلَحْتَهَا

 

la tada' khas-latan tua'abu min-ni il-la as-lah-taha

 

deposit in me no quality for which I will be faulted, unless You settest it right,

  

وَلا عَائِبَةً أُؤَنَّبُ بِهَا إِلاَّ حَسَّنتَهَا،

 

wa-la a'a-ibatan uan-nabu biha il-la has-santaha

 

no flaw for which I will be blamed, unless You makest it beautiful,

  

وَلا أُكْرُومَةً فِيَّ نَاقِصَةً إِلاَّ أَتْمَمْتَهَا

 

wa-la uk-rumatan fi-ya naqisatan il-la at-mam-taha

 

And no deficient noble trait, unless You completest it!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-li muhammad

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and Muhammad's Household,

  

وَأَبْدِلْنِي مِنْ بُغْضَةِ أَهْلِ الشَّنَانَ الْمَحَبَّةَ

 

wa abdil-ni mim bugh-zati ah-lish-shinanil-mahab-bah

 

and replace for me the animosity of the people of hatred with love,

  

وَمِنْ حَسَدِ أَهْلِ الْبَغْيِ الْمَوَدَّةَ،

 

wa min hasadi ah-lil-bagh-yil-mawad-dah

 

the envy of the people of insolence with affection,

  

وَمِن ظِنَّةِ أَهْلِ الصَّلاَحِ الثِّقَةَ،

 

wa min zin-nati ah-lis-salahith-thiqah

 

the suspicion of the people of righteousness with trust,

  

وَمِنْ عَدَاوَةِ الأَدْنَيْنَ الْوَلايَةَ،

 

wa min a'dawatil-ad-naynal-walayah

 

the enmity of those close with friendship,

  

وَمِنْ عُقُوقِ ذَوِي الأَرْحَامِ الْمَبَرَّةَ،

 

wa min u'quqi dhawil-ar-hamil-mabar-rah

 

the disrespect of womb relatives with devotion,

  

وَمِنْ خِذْلانِ الأَقْرَبِينَ النُّصْرَةَ،

 

wa min khidhlanil-aq-rabinan-nus-rah

 

the abandonment of relatives with help,

  

وَمِنْ حُبِّ الْمُدَارِينَ تَصْحِيحَ الْمِقَةِ،

 

wa min hub-bil-mudarina tas-hihal-miqah

 

the attachment of flatterers with love set right,

  

وَمِن رَّدِّ الْمُلاَبِسِينَ كَرَمَ الْعِشْرَةِ،

 

wa mir-rad-dil-mulabisina karamal-i'sh-rah

 

the rejection of fellows with generous friendliness,

  

وَمِن مَّرَارَةِ خَوْفِ الظَّالِمِينَ حَلاَوَةَ الأَمنَةَ

 

wa mim-mararati khaw-fiz-zalimina halawatal-amnah

 

And the bitterness of the fear of wrongdoers with the sweetness of security!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَاجْعَل لِّي يَداً عَلى مَن ظَلَمَنِي،

 

waj-a'l-li yadan a'la man zalamani

 

appoint for me a hand against him who wrongs me,

  

وَلِسَاناً عَلَى مَنْ خَاصَمَنِي،

 

wa lisanan a'la man khasamani

 

a tongue against him who disputes with me,

  

وَظَفَراً بِمَنْ عَانَدَنِي

 

wa zafaram biman a'anadani

 

And a victory over him who stubbornly resists me!

  

وَهَبْ لِي مَكْراً عَلَى مَن كَايَدَنِي،

 

wa hab li mak-ran a'la man kayadani

 

Give me guile against him who schemes against me,

  

وَقُدْرَةً عَلَى مَنِ اضْطَهَدَنِي،

 

wa qud-ratan a'la mani-ztahadani

 

power over him who oppresses me,

  

وَتَكْذِيباً لِمَن قَصَبَنِي،

 

wa tak-dhibal-liman qasabani

 

refutation of him who reviles me,

  

وَسَلاَمَةً مِّمَّن تَوَعَّدَنِي

 

wa salamatam-mimman tawa'-adani

 

And safety from him who threatens me!

  

وَوَفِّقْنِي لِطَاعَةِ مَن سَدَّدَنِي،

 

wa waf-fiq-ni lita'ti man sad-dadani

 

Grant me success to obey him who points me straight

  

وَمُتَابَعَةِ مَنْ أَرْشَدَنِي

 

wa mutaba'ti man ar-shadani

 

And follow him who guides me right!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household

  

وَسَدِّدْنِي لأَنْ

 

wa sad-did-ni li-an

 

and point me straight to

  

أُعَارِضَ مَنْ غَشَّنِي بِالنُّصْحِ،

 

ua'ariza man ghash-shani bin-nus-h

 

resist him who is dishonest toward me without counsel,

  

وَأَجْزِي مَنْ هَجَرَنِي بِالْبِرِّ،

 

wa aj-ziya man hajarani bil-bir-r

 

repay him who separates from me with gentle devotion,

  

وَأُثِيبَ مَنْ حَرَمَنِي بِالْبَذْلِ،

 

wa uthiba man haramani bil-badhli

 

reward him who deprives me with free giving,

  

وَأُكَافِئَ مَن قَطَعَنِي بِالصِّلَةِ،

 

wa ukafi-a man qata'ni bis-silah

 

recompense him who cuts me off with joining,

  

وَأُخَاِلفَ مَنْ اغْتَابَنِي إِلَى حُسْنِ الذِّكْرِ،

 

wa ukhalifa mangh-tabani ila hus-nidh-dhik-r

 

oppose him who slanders me with excellent mention,

  

وَأَنْ أَشْكُرَ الْحَسَنَةَ،

 

wa an ash-kural-hasanah

 

give thanks for good,

  

وَأُغْضِي عَنِ السَّيِّئَةِ

 

wa ugh-ziya a'nis-say-yiwah

 

And shut my eyes to evil!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَحَلِّنِي بِحِلْيَةِ الصَّاِلحِينَ

 

wa hal-lini bihil-yatis-salihin

 

adorn me with the adornment of the righteous,

  

وَأَلْبِسْنِي زِينَةَ المُتَّقِينَ فِي

 

wa al-bis-ni zinatal-mut-taqina fi

 

And clothe me in the ornaments of the god-fearing, through:

  

بَسْطِ الْعَدْلِ

 

bas-til-a'd-l

 

spreading justice,

  

وَكَظْمِ الْغَيْظِ

 

wa kazmil-ghayz

 

restraining rage,

  

وَإِطْفَاءِ النَّائِرَةِ

 

wa it-fa-in-na-irah

 

quenching the flame of hate,

  

وَضَمِّ أَهْلِ الْفُرْقَةِ

 

wa zammi ah-lil-fur-qah

 

bringing together the people of separation,

  

وَإِصْلاَحِ ذَاتِ الْبَيْنِ

 

wa is-lahi dhatil-bayn

 

correcting discord,

  

وَإِفْشِاءِ الْعَارِفَةِ

 

wa if-shia-il-a'arifah

 

spreading about good behavior,

  

وَسَتْرِ الْعَائِبَةِ

 

wa sat-ril-a'a-ibah

 

covering faults,

  

وَلِينِ الْعَرِيكَةِ

 

wa linil-a'rikah

 

mildness of temper,

  

وَخَفْضِ الْجَنَاحِ

 

wa khaf-zil-janah

 

lowering the wing,

  

وَحُسْنِ السِّيرَةِ

 

wa hus-nis-sirah

 

beauty of conduct,

  

وَسُكُونِ الرِّيحِ

 

wa sukunir-rih

 

gravity of bearing,

  

وَطِيبِ الْمُخَالَفَةِ

 

wa tibil-mukhalafah

 

agreeableness in comportment,

  

وَالسَّبْقِ إِلَى الْفَضِيلَةِ

 

was-sib-qi ilal-fazilah

 

precedence in reaching excellence,

  

وَإِيثَارِ التَّفَضُّلِ

 

wa itharit-tafaz-zul

preferring bounteousness,

  

وَتَرْكِ التَّعْيِيرِ

 

wa tar-kit-ta'-yir

 

refraining from condemnation,

  

وَالإِفْضَاِل عَلَى غَيْرِ الْمُسْتَحِقِّ

 

wal-if-zali a'la ghayril-mus-tahiq-q

 

bestowing bounty on the undeserving,

  

وَالْقَوْلِ بِالْحَقِّ وَإِنْ عَزَّ

 

wal-qaw-li bil-haq-qi wa in a'z-z

 

speaking the truth, though it be painful,

  

وَاسْتِقْلاَلِ الْخَيْرِ وَإِن كَثُرَ مِن قَوْلِي وَفِعْلِي

 

was-tiq-lalil-khayri wa in kathura min qaw-li wa fia'-li

 

making little of the good in my words and deeds, though it be much,

  

وَاسْتِكْثَارِ الْشَّرِ وَإِن قلَّ مِن قَوْلِي وَفِعْلِي

 

was-tik-tharish-shari wa in ql-la min qaw-li wa fia'-li

 

And making much of the evil in my words and deeds, though it be little!

  

وَأَكْمِلْ ذَلِكَ لِي

 

wa ak-mil dhalika li

 

Perfect this for me through

  

بِدَوَامِ الطَّاعَةِ،

 

bi-dawamit-ta'h

 

lasting obedience,

  

وَلُزُومِ الْجَمَاعَةِ،

 

wa luzumil-jama'h

 

holding fast to the community,

  

وَرَفْضِ أَهْلِ الْبِدَعِ، وَمُسْتَعْمِلِي الرَّأْيِ الْمُخْتَرَعِ

 

wa raf-zi ah-lil-bidai' wa mus-ta'-milir-ra-yil-mukh-tarai'

 

And rejecting the people of innovation and those who act in accordance with original opinions.

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَاجْعَلْ أَوْسَعَ رِزْقِكَ عَلَيَّ إِذَا كَبِرْتُ،

 

waj-a'l aw-sa' rizqika a'lay-ya idha kabir-tu

 

appoint for me Your widest provision in my old age

  

وَأَقْوَى قُوَّتِكَ فِيَّ إِذَا نَصِبْتُ

 

wa aq-wa qu-watika fi-ya idha nasib-tu

 

And Your strongest strength when I am exhausted,

  

وَلا تَبْتَلِيَنِي بِالْكَسَلِ عَنْ عِبَادَتِكَ،

 

wa-la tab-tali-yani bil-kasali a'n i'badatika

 

And try me not with laziness in worship of You,

  

وَلا الْعَمى عَن سَبِيلِكَ،

 

wa lal-a'ma a'n sabilik

 

blindness toward Your path,

  

وَلا بِالتَّعَرُّضِ لِخِلاَفِ مَحَبَّتِكَ،

 

wa-la bit-ta'r-ruzi li-khilafi mahab-batika

 

undertaking what opposes love for You,

  

وَلا مُجَامَعَةِ مَن تَفَرَّقَ عَنْكَ،

 

wa-la mujama't man tafar-raqa a'nk

 

joining with him who has separated himself from You,

  

وَلا مُفَارَقَةِ مَنِ اجْتَمَعَ إِلَيْكَ

 

wa-la mufaraqat manij-tama' ilayk

 

And separating from him who has joined himself to You!

  

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنِي أَصُولُ بِكَ عِندَ الضَّرُورَةِ،

 

allahummaj-a'l-ni asulu bika i'ndaz-zarurah

 

O Allah, make me leap to You in times of distress,

  

وَأَسْألُكَ عِندَ الْحَاجَةِ،

 

wa as-aluka i'ndal-hajah

 

ask from You in needs,

  

وَأَتَضَرَّعُ إِلَيْكَ عِندَ الْمَسْكَنَةِ

 

wa atazar-rau' ilayka i'ndal-mas-kanah

 

And plead to You in misery!

  

وَلا تَفْتِنِّي بِالإِسْتِعَانَةِ بِغَيْرِكَ إِذَا اضْطُرِرْتُ،

 

wa-la taf-tin-ni bil-is-tia'anati bighayrika idhazturir-tu

 

Tempt me not to seek help from other than You when I am distressed,

  

وَلا بِالْخُضُوعِ لِسُؤَاِل غَيْرِكَ إِذَا افْتَقَرْتُ،

 

wa-la bil-khuzui' li-suali ghayrika idhaf-taqar-tu

 

to humble myself in asking from someone else when I am poor,

  

وَلا بِالتَّضَرُّعِ إِلَى مَن دُونِكَ إِذَارَهِبْتُ

 

wa-la bit-tazar-rui' ila man dunaka idharahib-tu

 

or to plead with someone less than You when I fear,

  

فَأَسْتَحِقُّ بِذَلِكَ خِذْلانَكَ وَمَنْعَكَ وَإِعْرَاضَكَ

 

fas-tahiq-qu bidhlika khidhlanaka wa man-a'ka wa ia'-razak

 

for then I would deserve Your abandonment, Your withholding, and Your turning away,

  

يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحَمِينَ

 

ya ar-hamar-rahamin

 

O Most Merciful of the merciful!

  

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ مَا يُلْقِي الشَّيْطَانُ فِي رَوْعِي منِ التَّمَنِّي وَالتَّظَنِّي وَالْحَسَدِذِكْراً لِعَظَمَتِكَ، وَتَفَكُّراً فِي قُدْرَتِكَ، وَتَدْبِيراً عَلَى عَدُوِّكَ،

 

allahummaj-a'l ma yul-qish-shaytanu fi raw-e'e mint-taman-ni wat-tazan-ni wal-hasadidhik-ral-li-a'zamatika wa tafak-kuran fi qud-ratika wa tad-biran a'la a'du-wika

 

O Allah, make the wishing, the doubt, and the envy which Satan throws into my heart a remembrance of Your mightiness, a reflection upon Your power, and a devising against Your enemy!

  

وَمَا أَجْرَى عَلَى لِسَانِى مِن لَّفْظَةِ فُحْشٍ أَوْ هَجْرٍ أَوْ شَتْمِ عِرْضٍ أَوْ شَهَادَةِ بَاطِلٍ أَوِ اغْتِيَابِ مُؤْمِنٍ غَائِبٍ أَوْ سَبِّ حَاضِرٍ أَوْ مَا أَشْبَهَ ذَلِكَ،

 

wa ma aj-ra a'la li-sani mil-laf-zati fuh-shin aw haj-rin aw shat-mi i'r-zin aw shahadati batilin awigh-tiyabi mu-minin gha-ibin aw sab-bi hazirin aw ma ash-baha dhalika

 

Make everything he causes to pass over my tongue - the indecent or ugly words, the maligning of good repute, the false witness, the speaking ill of an absent man of faith, or the reviling of one present, and all things similar—

  

نُطْقاً بِالْحَمْدِ لَكَ،

 

nut-qam bial-ham-di lak

 

a speech in praise of You,

  

وَإِغْرَاقاً فِي الثَّنَاءِ عَلَيْكَ

 

wa igh-raqan fith-thana-i a'ilayk

 

a pursual of eulogizing You,

  

وَذَهَاباً فِي تَمْجِيدِكَ

 

wa dhahaban fi tam-jidik

 

an excursion in magnifying You,

  

وَشُكْراً لِّنِعْمَتِكَ

 

wa shuk-ral-linia'-matik

 

a thanksgiving for Your favour,

  

وَاعْتِرَافاً بِإِحْسَانِكَ

 

wa a'-tirafam biih-sanik

 

an acknowledgment of Your beneficence,

  

وَإِحْصَاءاً لِّمِنَنِكَ

 

wa ih-sa-al-li-minanik

 

And an enumeration of Your kindness!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَلا أُظْلَمَنَّ وَأَنتَ مُطِيقٌ لِّلدَّفْعِ عَنِّي

 

wa-la uzlaman-na wa anta mutiqul-lid-daf-i' a'n-ni

 

let me not be wronged, while You canst repel from me,

  

وَلا أَظْلِمَنَّ وَأَنتَ الْقَادِرُ عَلى الْقَبْضِ مِنِّي

 

wa-la azliman-na wa antal-qadiru a'lil-qab-zi min-ni

 

let me not do wrong, while You are powerful over holding me back,

  

وَلا أَضِلَّنَّ وَقَدْ أَمْكَنَتْكَ هِدَايَتِي

 

wa-la azil-lan-na wa qad am-kanat-ka hidayati

 

let me not be misguided, while You are able to guide me,

  

وَلا أَفْتَقِرَنَّ وَمِنْ عِندِكَ وُسْعِي

 

wa-la af-taqiran-na wa min i'ndika wus-e'e

 

let me not be poor, while with You is my plenty,

  

وَلا أَطْغَيَنَّ وَمِنْ عِندِكَ وُجْدِي

 

wa-la at-ghayan-na wa min i'ndika wuj-di

 

let me not be insolent, while from You comes my wealth!

  

اللَّهُمَّ

 

allahumma

 

O Allah,

  

إِلَى مَغْفِرَتِكَ وَفَدتُّ

 

ila magh-firatika wafad-tu

 

I come to Your forgiveness,

  

وَإِلَى عَفْوِكَ قَصَدتُّ

 

wa ila a'f-wika qasad-tu

 

I go straight to Your pardon,

  

وَإِلَى تَجَاوُزِكَ اشْتَقْتُ

 

wa ila taja-wuzikash-taq-tu

 

I yearn for Your forbearance,

  

وَبِفَضْلِكَ وَثِقْتُ

 

wa bi-fazlika wathiq-tu

 

And I trust in Your bounty,

  

وَلَيْسَ عِندِي مَا يُوجِبُ لِي مَغْفِرَتَكَ

 

wa laysa i'ndi ma yujibu li magh-firatak

 

but there is nothing with me to make me warrant but Your forgiveness,

  

وَلا فِي عَمَلِي مَا أَسْتَحِقُّ بِهِ عَفْوَكَ

 

wa-la fi a'mali ma as-tahiq-qu bihi a'f-wak

 

nothing in my works to make me merit but Your pardon,

  

وَمَا لِي بَعْدَ أَنْ حَكَمْتُ عَلَى نَفْسِي إلاَّ فَضْلُكَ

 

wa ma li ba'-da an hakam-tu a'la naf-si il-la fazluka

 

And nothing on my behalf after I judge my soul but Your bounty,

  

فَصَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

fa-sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lihi

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household

  

وَتَفَضَّلْ عَلَيَّ اللَّهُمَّ

 

wa tafaz-zal a'layil allahumma

 

O Allah, bestow Your bounty upon me!

  

وَأَنطِقْنِي بِالْهُدَى

 

wa antiq-ni bial-huda

 

make my speech be guidance,

  

وَأَلْهِمْنِي التِّقْوَى

 

wa al-him-nit-tiq-wa

 

inspire me with reverential fear,

  

وَوَفِّقْنِي للَّتِي هِي أَزْكَى

 

wa waf-fiq-ni lil-lati hiya azka

 

give me success in that which is most pure,

  

وَاسْتَعْمِلْنِي بِمَا هُوَ أَرْضَى

 

was-ta'-mil-ni bima huwa ar-za

 

And employ me in what is most pleasing to You!

  

اللَّهُمَّ اسْلُكْ بِي الطَّرِيقَةَ الْمُثْلَى

 

allahummas-luk bi-yat-tariqatal-muth-la

 

O Allah, let me tread the most exemplary path

  

وَاجْعَلْنِي عَلَى مِلَّتِكَ أَمُوتُ وَأَحْيَا

 

waj-a'l-ni a'la mil-latika amutu wa ah-ya

 

And make me live and die in Your creed!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَمَتِّعْنِي بِالإقْتِصَادِ

 

wa mat-tia'-ni bil-iq-tisad

 

give me to enjoy moderation,

  

وَاجْعَلْنِي مِنْ أَهْلِ السَّدَادِ،

 

waj-a'l-ni min ah-lis-sadad

 

make me into one of the people of right behavior,

  

وَمِنْ أَدِلَّةِ الرَّشَادِ،

 

wa min adil-latir-rashad

 

the proofs of right conduct,

  

وَمِن صَاِلحِي الْعِبَادِ

 

wa min salihil-i'bad

 

And the servants of righteousness,

  

وَارْزُقْنِي فَوْزَ الْمَعَادِ،

 

war-zuq-ni fawzal-ma'adi

 

And provide me with triumph at the place of Return

  

وَسَلاَمَةَ الْمِرْصَادِ

 

wa salamatal-mir-sad

 

And safety from the Ambush!

  

اللَّهُمَّ

 

allahumma

 

O Allah,

  

خُذْ لِنَفْسِكَ مِن نَّفْسِي مَا يُخَلِّصُهَا

 

khudh linaf-sika min-naf-si ma yukhal-lisuha

 

take to Yourself from my soul what will purify it

  

وَأَبْقِ لِنَفْسِي مِن نَّفْسِي مَا يُصْلِحُهَا،

 

wa ab-qi linaf-si min-naf-si ma yus-lihuha

 

And leave for my soul that of my soul that will set it right,

  

فَإِنَّ نَفْسِي هَاِلكَةً أَوْ تَعْصِمَهَا

 

fa-in-na naf-si halikatun aw ta'-simaha

 

for my soul will perish unless You preservest it!

  

اللَّهُمَّ

 

allahumma

 

O Allah,

  

أَنتَ عُدَّتِي إِنْ حَزِنتُ

 

anta u'd-dati in hazintu

 

You are my stores when I sorrow,

  

وَأَنتَ مُنتَجَعِي إِنْ حُرِمْتُ

 

wa anta muntajae'e in hurim-tu

 

You are my recourse when I am deprived,

  

وَبِكَ اسْتِغَاثَتِي إِن كُرِثْتُ

 

wa bikas-tigha-thati in kurith-tu

 

from You I seek aid when troubled

  

وَعِندَكَ مِمَّا فَاتَ خَلَفٌ،

 

wa i'ndaka mimma fata khalaf

 

and with You is a substitute for everything gone by,

  

وَلِمَا فَسَدَ صَلاَحٌ،

 

wa lima fasada salah

 

a correction for everything corrupted,

  

وَفِيمَا أَنكَرْتَ تَغْيِيرٌ

 

wa fima ankar-ta tagh-yir

 

a change from everything You is approvest.

  

فَامْنُنْ عَلَيَّ قَبْلَ الْبَلاءِ بِالْعَافِيَةِ،

 

fam-nun a'lay-ya qab-lal-bala-i bil-a'afi-yah

 

So show kindness to me with well-being before affliction,

  

وَقَبْلَ الطَّلَبِ بِالْجِدَةِ،

 

wa qab-lat-talabi bial-jidah

 

wealth before asking,

  

وَقَبْلَ الضَّلاَلِ بِالرَّشَادِ

 

wa qab-laz-zalali bilr-rashad

 

right conduct before misguidance;

  

وَاكْفِنِي مَؤُونَةَ مَعَرَّةِ الْعِبَادِ

 

wak-fini ma’unata ma'r-ratil-i'badi

 

suffice me against the burden of shame toward the servants,

  

وَهَبْ لِي أَمْنَ يَوْمِ الْمَعَادِ

 

wa hab liya am-na yaw-mil-ma'ad

 

give me security on the Day of Return,

  

وَامْنَحْنِي حُسْنَ الإِرْشَادِ

 

wam-nah-ni hus-nal-ir-shad

 

And grant me excellent right guidance!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَادْرَأْْ عَنِّي بِلُطْفِكَ

 

wad-ra a'n-ni bi-lut-fik

 

repel from me through Your gentleness,

  

وَاغْذُنِي بِنِعْمَتِكَ

 

wagh-dhuni binia'-matik

 

feed me through Your favour,

  

وَأَصْلِحْنِي بِكَرَمِكَ

 

wa as-lih-ni bikaramik

 

set me right through Your generosity,

  

وَدَاوِنِي بِصُنعِكَ

 

wa dawini bisuni'k

 

heal me through Your benefaction,

  

وَأَظِلَّنِي فِي ذَرَاكَ

 

wa azil-lani fi dharak

 

shade me in Your shelter,

  

وَجَلِّلْنِي رِضَاكَ

 

wa jal-lil-ni rizak

 

wrap me in Your good pleasure,

  

وَوَفِّقْنِي إِذَا اشْتَكَلَتْ عَلَيَّ الأُمُورُ لأَهْدَاهَا،

 

wa waf-fiq-ni idhash-takalat a'lay-yal-umuru li-ah-daha

 

And give me success to reach the most guided of affairs when affairs confuse me,

  

وَإِذَا تَشَابَهَتِ الأَعْمَالُ لأَزْكَاهَا

 

wa idha tasha-bahatil-a'-malu li-azkaha

 

the purest of works when works seem similar,

  

وَإِذَا تَنَاقَضَتِ المِلَلُ لأَرْضَاهَا

 

wa idha tanaqazatil-milalu li-ar-zaha

 

and the most pleasing to You of creeds when creeds conflict!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَتَوِّجْنِي بِالْكِفَايَةِ

 

wa taw-wij-ni bil-kifayah

 

crown me with sufficiency,

  

وَسُمْنِي حُسْنَ الْوِلاَيةِ

 

wa sum-ni hus-nal-wilayah

 

place in me excellent guardianship

  

وَهَبْ لِي صِدْقَ الْهِدَايَةِ

 

wa hab li sid-qal-hidayah

 

give me to guide correctly ,

  

وَلا تَفْتِنِّي بِالسَّعَةِ

 

wa-la taf-tin-ni bis-sa'ah

 

tempt me not with plenty,

  

وَامْنَحْنِي حُسْنَ الدَّعَةِ

 

wam-nah-ni hus-nad-da'ah

 

grant me excellent ease,

  

وَلا تَجْعَلْ عَيْشِي كَداًّ كَداًّ

 

wa-la taj-a'l a'yshi kad-dan kad-da

 

make not my life toil and trouble,

  

وَلا تَرُدَّ دُعَائِي عَلَيَّ رَدّاً

 

wa-la tarud-da dua'a-i a'lay-ya rad-da

 

And refuse not my supplication in rejection,

  

فَإِنِّي لا أَجْعَلُ لَكَ ضِدّاً

 

fa-in-ni la aj-a'lu laka zid-da

 

for I make none rival to You

  

وَلا أَدْعُو مَعَكَ نِدّاً

 

wa-la ad-o'o ma'ka nid-da

 

And I supplicate none with You as equal!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَامْنَعْنِي مِنَ السَّرَفِ

 

wam-na'-ni minas-saraf

 

hold me back from prodigality,

  

وَحَصِّن رِّزْقِي مِنَ التَّلَفِ

 

wa has-sir-rizqi minat-talaf

 

fortify my provision against ruin,

  

وَوَفِّرْ مَلَكَتِي بِالْبَرَكَةِ فِيهِ

 

wa waf-fir malakati bil-barakati fih

 

increase my possessions through blessing them,

  

وَأَصِبْ بِي سَبِيلَ الْهِدَايَةِ لِلْبِرِّ فِيمَا أُنفِقُ مِنْهُ

 

wa asib bi sabilal-hidayati lil-bir-ri fima unfiqu minh

 

And set me upon the path of guidance through piety in what I spend!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَاكْفِنِي مَؤُونَةَ الإكْتِسَابِ،

 

wak-fini ma’unatal-ik-tisab

 

And spare me the burden of earning,

  

وَارْزُقْنِي مِنْ غَيْرِ احْتِسَابٍ

 

warzuq-ni min ghayrih-tisab

 

provide for me without reckoning,

  

فَلا أَشْتَغِلَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِكَ بِالطَّلَبِ،

 

fa-la ash-taghila a'n i'badatika bit-talab

 

lest I be distracted from Your worship through seeking

  

وَلا أَحْتَمِلَ إِصْرَ تَبِعَاتِ الْمَكْسَبِ

 

wa-la ah-tamila is-ra tabia'atil-mak-sab

 

And carry the load of earning's ill results!

  

اللَّهُمَّ

 

allahumma

 

O Allah,

  

فَأَطْلِبْنِي بِقُدْرَتِكَ مَا أَطْلُبُ

 

fa-t-lib-ni bi-qud-ratika ma at-lubu

 

bestow upon me what I seek through Your power

  

وَأَجِرْنِي بِعِزَّتِكَ مِمَّا أَرْهَبُ

 

wa ajir-ni bi-i'z-zatika mim-ma ar-hab

 

And grant me sanctuary from what I fear through Your might!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَصُن وَّجْهِي بِالْيَسَارِ،

 

wa suw-waj-hiya bil-yasar

 

save my face through ease,

  

وَلا تَبْتَذِلْ جَاهِي بِالإِقْتَارِ

 

wa-la tab-tadhil jahi bi-liq-tar

 

And demean not my dignity through neediness,

  

فَأَسْتَرْزِقَ أَهْلَ رِزْقِكَ،

 

fa-as-tarziqa ah-la rizqik

 

lest I seek provision from those whom You hast provided

  

وَأَسْتَعْطِي شِرَارَ خَلْقِكَ

 

wa as-ta'-ti shirara khal-qik

 

And ask for bestowal from the worst of Your creatures!

  

فَأَفْتَتِنَ بِحَمْدِ مَنْ أَعْطَانِي،

 

fa-af-tatina biham-di man a'-tani

 

And Then I would be tried by praising him who gave to me

  

وَأُبْتَلي بِذَمِّ مَن مَّنَعَنِي

 

wa ub-tala bidhammi mam-mana'ni

 

afflicted with blaming him who held back from me,

  

وَأَنتَ مِن دُونِهِمْ وَلِيُّ الإِعْطَاءِ وَالْمَنْعِ

 

wa anta min dunihim wali-yul-ia'-ta-i wal-man-i'

 

While You— not they— art patron of giving and holding back

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household

  

وَارْزُقْنِي صِحَّةً فِي عِبَادَةٍ،

 

warzuq-ni sih-hatan fi i'badah

 

And provide me with soundness in worship,

  

وَفَرَاغاً فِي زَهَادَةٍ،

 

wa faraghan fi zahadah

 

detachment in renunciation,

  

وَعِلْماً فِي اسْتِعْمَالٍ،

 

wa i'l-man fis-tia'-mal

 

knowledge put into action,

  

وَوَرَعاً فِي إِجْمَالٍ

 

wa wara'an fi ij-mal

 

And abstinence in measure!

  

اللَّهُمَّ اخْتِم بِعَفْوِكَ أَجَلِي

 

allahummakh-tim bia'f-wika ajali

 

O Allah, seal my term with Your pardon,

  

وَحَقِّقْ فِي رَجَاءِ رَحْمَتِكَ أَمَلِي

 

wa haq-qiq fi raja-i rah-matika amali

 

verify my expectation in hoping for thy mercy,

  

وَسَهِّلْ إِلَى بُلُوغِ رِضَاكَ سُبُلِي

 

wa sah-hil ila bulughi rizaka subuli

 

smooth my paths to reach Your good pleasure,

  

وَحَسِّن فِي جَمِيعِ أَحْوَاِلي عَمَلِي

 

wa has-sin fi jamii' ah-wali a'mali

 

And make my works good in all my states!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lih

 

O Allah, bless Muhammad and his Household,

  

وَنَبِّهْنِي لِذِكْرِكَ فِي أَوْقَاتِ الْغَفْلَةِ

 

wa nab-bih-ni lidhik-rika fi aw-qatil-ghaf-lah

 

Incite me to remember You in times of heedlessness,

  

وَاسْتَعْمِلْنِي بِطَاعَتِكَ في أَيَّامِ الْمُهْلَةِ

 

was-ta'-mil-ni bita'tika fi ay-yamil-muh-lah

 

employ me in Your obedience in days of disregard,

  

وَانْهَجْ لِي إِلَى مَحَبَّتِكَ سَبِيلاً سَهْلَةً

 

wan-haj li ila mahab-batika sabilan sah-lah

 

open a smooth road for me to Your love,

  

أَكْمِلْ لِي بِهَا خَيْرَ الدُّنيَا وَالآخِرَةِ

 

ak-milu li biha khayrad-dunyawal-a-khirah

And complete for me thereby the good of this world and the next!

  

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَّآلِهِ كَأَفْضَلِ مَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى أَحَدٍ مِّنْ خَلْقِكَ قَبْلَهُ وَأَنتَ مُصَلٍّ عَلى أَحَدٍ بَعْدَهُ

 

allahumma sal-li a'la muhammadiw-wa a-lihi ka-af-zali ma sal-layta a'la ahadim min khal-qika qab-lahu wa anta musal-lin a'la ahadim-ba'-dah

 

O Allah, and bless Muhammad and his Household the best You hast blessed any of Your creatures before him and wilt bless any of them after him,

  

وَآتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَّفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً

 

wa a-tina fid-dunya hasanataw-wa fil-a-khirati hasanah

 

And give to us in this world good, and in the next world good,

  

وَقِنِي بِرَحْمَتِكَ عَذَابَ النَّارِ

 

wa qini birah-matika a'dhaban-nar

 

And protect me through Your mercy from the chastisement of the Fire!

  

إِنَّكَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيٍْء قَدِيرٌ، وَهُوَ عَلَيْكَ يَسِيرٌ

 

in-naka a'la kul-li shay-in qadiruw-wahua a'ilayka yasir

 

You are powerful over everything, and that is easy for You!

 

Ameen summa Ameen summa Ameen...

 

"Telephone companies have been abandoning their public telephone booths by taking out the phones and leaving the structures beehind. (Probably due to the rise in cell phone users.) I want to reuse these structures as a way of communication with the public once more by replacing that empty space with paper-mache beehives. To me, this symbolizes the irony beehind the question, 'where have so many of the bees gone' and the theory that cell phone signals have been misguiding their normal patterns of migration"

  

Rohani services for manpasand shadi k liye wazifa, pasand ki shadi k liye online baba g.manpasand ki shadi in dubai,Manpasand shadi in usa. Insaan ki had se barhti khawahishat jaise k jin ki takmeel ke liye halal aur haram ki tameez ko balay-e-taaq rakh dena is musibat ki bunyadi wajah hai. Is ke ilawa Allah ki janib se ata shuda naimaton ko apna zati kamal aur zati khoobi jana aur phir us ke natije main shukar guzari se ghaflat aur ghaflat ke baes faraiz aur wajbat ko tark kar dena musibat ki dusri wajah hai. Jub insan Allah ki na farmani main had se badhne lagta hai tou woh tarah tarah ki problems ka shikar hona shuru ho jata hai. Kabhi usay business main bay barkati ki shikayat hoti hai aur kabhi ghar main bay sakooni ka samna karna parta hai, kabhi aulad ki na farmani pareshan karti hai aur kabhi jawan betiyon ki ghar main mojod gii aur naik rishte, shadi manpasand ki, pasand ki shadi, manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi ka door door tak nazar na aana aur maa baap ke liye ghar main sub se bari preshani aur fikar mandi bachiyon ke liye munasib rishta milna hai.

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Islam is the true religion and it provide the clear guide line for its followers in all aspects of life, so in this way whenever there is a legal problem arise Islam provide the solution for that particular problem according to the light of Holy Quran.Through Quranic verses you can heal your illness and other spiritual problems and delays in your daily tasks.The given Dua ( Pray) is for early wedding and for marriage of your own choice it mean love marriage. Recite the given dua according to the guide and then Inshallah you will get the desire result through these Dua. Here is wazifa for love marriage, if you want to do love marriage and you are facing problems from both sides from girl parents and your parents please try this wazifa for marriage. For those boys who want to marry the girl they love, girl wants to marry boy she loves. so this wazifa is helpful in both cases.Wazifa for love between husband and wife.Please let me know what should I do. Please note that she offers prayers take “tasbeeh” Zikar and Durood shareef. (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.) Answer: Sifli amal magic In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for girls,kala jadu taweez for boy ,kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers. Your Question: Please let me know. Is there “Sifli Amal”. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for boy, kala jadu taweez for girls, kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.

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istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

 

Rohani services for manpasand shadi k liye wazifa, pasand ki shadi k liye online baba g.manpasand ki shadi in dubai,Manpasand shadi in usa. Insaan ki had se barhti khawahishat jaise k jin ki takmeel ke liye halal aur haram ki tameez ko balay-e-taaq rakh dena is musibat ki bunyadi wajah hai. Is ke ilawa Allah ki janib se ata shuda naimaton ko apna zati kamal aur zati khoobi jana aur phir us ke natije main shukar guzari se ghaflat aur ghaflat ke baes faraiz aur wajbat ko tark kar dena musibat ki dusri wajah hai. Jub insan Allah ki na farmani main had se badhne lagta hai tou woh tarah tarah ki problems ka shikar hona shuru ho jata hai. Kabhi usay business main bay barkati ki shikayat hoti hai aur kabhi ghar main bay sakooni ka samna karna parta hai, kabhi aulad ki na farmani pareshan karti hai aur kabhi jawan betiyon ki ghar main mojod gii aur naik rishte, shadi manpasand ki, pasand ki shadi, manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi ka door door tak nazar na aana aur maa baap ke liye ghar main sub se bari preshani aur fikar mandi bachiyon ke liye munasib rishta milna hai.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

  

Islam is the true religion and it provide the clear guide line for its followers in all aspects of life, so in this way whenever there is a legal problem arise Islam provide the solution for that particular problem according to the light of Holy Quran.Through Quranic verses you can heal your illness and other spiritual problems and delays in your daily tasks.The given Dua ( Pray) is for early wedding and for marriage of your own choice it mean love marriage. Recite the given dua according to the guide and then Inshallah you will get the desire result through these Dua. Here is wazifa for love marriage, if you want to do love marriage and you are facing problems from both sides from girl parents and your parents please try this wazifa for marriage. For those boys who want to marry the girl they love, girl wants to marry boy she loves. so this wazifa is helpful in both cases.Wazifa for love between husband and wife.Please let me know what should I do. Please note that she offers prayers take “tasbeeh” Zikar and Durood shareef. (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.) Answer: Sifli amal magic In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for girls,kala jadu taweez for boy ,kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers. Your Question: Please let me know. Is there “Sifli Amal”. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for boy, kala jadu taweez for girls, kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

 

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We admire genuine activists for their commitment but being unspecific will backfire and harm the society and the country.

 

To give some examples, some genuine activists are demanding `Ban Nudity` or `Reduce Reservation` or `Bring law to reduce Corruption` or `Bring Back Black Money`

 

This is all their demand. When we asked more, they refused to give details for their demands.

 

Now, if there is a good procedure-draft with detailed instructions to the government officials for a demand and also defining what role common citizens are to play, and if the same will benefit the commons, we will be happy to promote the same.

 

But unspecific demand will backfire. How ?

 

Let us see some examples –

 

1) Unspecified noise over rising unemployment and poverty and NREGA scam –

===================================

 

In 1990s , there was a lot of unspecified noise over rising rural unemployment and poverty. So, in 2005, the government brought NREGA (National Rural Employment Guarantee Act).

 

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi_National_Rural_Emplo...

 

But soon this flawed law turned out nothing to be a hell-hole of corruption and it was clear that the scheme is unsustainable, did not reduce rural poverty or unemployment and the infrastructure built under this scheme was very poor.

 

It is a prime example of how central, state, district and local officials all formed nexuses with each other to loot the commons. The scam was estimated to be 6000 crores in Bihar, few crores in Gujarat and did not leave out any state with few exceptions.

 

Fake accounts were created and the money was siphoned out of that, work which was shown on paper was not at all done on ground, all with the connivance of the government officials.

 

NREGA scam in Bihar -

 

www.rediff.com/news/report/cbi-probe-sought-in-rs-5900-cr...

 

NREGA scam in Gujarat -

 

articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2010-11-19/news/276...

 

Dhori villagers have alleged that in the name of NREGA scheme 3 crore scam is done by officials. Roads are not made, job cards are not allotted but entered in records. They have alleged that contractors and government officials are involved in it.When DDO was asked regarding this he said that proper investigation will be carried out after verification of allegations.

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oRg0JWfS5c

 

NREGA scam in Assam -

 

www.asianage.com/india/nrega-workers-claim-salary-scam-as...

 

NREGA scam in Rajasthan -

 

articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-10-07/jaipur/28...

 

Download full draft of NREGA, 2005 -

 

www.linkpong.tk/?511bd62e1314f

 

===================================

  

Some other relevant links of NREGA scam -

 

articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-07-14/india/326...

 

www.frontlineonnet.com/fl2601/stories/20090116260100700.htm

 

www.im4change.org/law-justice/disaster-relief-4237/print

 

www.hindu.com/mag/2010/10/03/stories/2010100350010100.htm

 

=====================

 

Now, who is to blame ? The activists who made unspecified noise about reducing employment and poverty without giving any detailed instructions or drafts are the ones to be blamed.

 

The activists should give their own detailed procedure-drafts to reduce unemployment and poverty. Also, they can see our proposal-drafts for the same in chapter 5, www.3linelaw.wordpress.com

 

2) Vague noise for Bringing Back Black Money from Swiss Banks and Revision of Double Tax Avoidance Treaty with Switzerland -

=================================

 

In 2010, BST made a `vague noise` over black money abroad especially in Swiss banks and Mauritius route but did not give any procedure-draft for bringing back black money.

 

bharat-swabhiman.com/en/elimination-of-black-money-economy/

bharat-swabhiman.com/en/report-on-swiss-bank-money/

 

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_black_money

 

This `vague noise` was pretty strong. What was the result ?

 

The government revised it`s double tax avoidance treaty with Switzerland and claimed it was done on public demand to “access information on Swiss accounts of Indians more easily”

 

a) Black money law easier said than done -

 

www.indianexpress.com/news/black-money-law-easier-said-th...

 

b) India, Switzerland conclude talks to revise tax treaty -

 

articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2010-07-31/news/275...

 

c) Revised Indo-Swiss taxation treaty comes into effect -

 

articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2011-10-11/news/302...

 

d) Amended DTAA with Switzerland will provide sharing of information on Indians having unaccounted wealth in secret Swiss bank accounts -

 

taxguru.in/income-tax/amended-dtaa-with-switzerland-will-...

 

e) Switzerland and India sign revised double taxation agreement -

 

www.admin.ch/aktuell/00089/index.html?lang=en&msg-id=...

 

But wait. Please note the amendment would be effective only for “income arising in any fiscal year beginning on or after the first day of April next following the calendar year in which the Amending Protocol entered into force (that is 2011)” and that too “if backed by evidence of tax evasion”

 

www.news.admin.ch/NSBSubscriber/message/attachments/20216...

 

www.eda.admin.ch/etc/medialib/downloads/edactr/ind.Par.01...

 

Now, what does that mean ? That the black money deposited before 2011 is legally allowed not to be investigated by the corrupt government. And even after that, tax evasion will continue since evidence is very difficult to get in face of lack of procedures like Narco test in public (see chapter 27 of www.3linelaw.wordpress.com)

 

So, the demand for `Bringing Back Black money` into India from tax heavens did have an effect but it lead to a flawed law made in the name of the public demand and for public good while actually only benefitting the corrupt. But people like Jethmalani, SS etc. still misguide genuine activists by talking about `law to curb black money` but not giving any proposed procedure-draft.

 

articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-04-15/indore/31...

 

Some other relevant links of Revised Double Tax Treaty with Switzerland -

 

www.thehindu.com/news/switzerland-may-clear-tax-treaty-wi...

 

www.taxpointindia.com/blog_detail.asp?id=17

 

www.thehindu.com/news/national/article1609599.ece

 

3) Unspecified noise for increasing accountability and fake Right to recall procedures

===================================

 

There has been unspecified noise for increasing accountability of the government officials for which various fake, useless, Right to recall drafts have been proposed and implemented.

 

Some of them are the Right to recall-mayor in Rajasthan, RTR-corporator in Bihar, RTR-sarpanch proposed by Arvind Kerjriwal. All these are signature based procedures. But signatures cannot be verified since government does not have any database of signatures to compare the signatures and verify them.

 

Please read more at these links -

 

0062. Nitishkumar passes utterly useless Right to Recall law-draft

 

www.facebook.com/notes/right-to-recall-against-corruption...

 

0211. Fake RTR in Rajasthan - in true RTR, power to initiate recall poll is with citizens, not with a small body

 

www.facebook.com/notes/right-to-recall-against-corruption...

 

0215. Useless, flawed, anti-common Swaraj Document and Nagar Raj Bill bill which do not benefit commons but benefit only elite

 

www.facebook.com/notes/right-to-recall-against-corruption...

 

4) Vague Demand of `Banning nudity`

=========================

 

Similarly, take example of activists making `unspecified noise` for `banning nudity` without giving any procedure drafts.

 

Taking advantage of this noise, government (any government) will make a flawed law on `Banning Nudity` and say that this law was made on public demand.

 

Then, they can misuse the law and punish the Naga Babas (Naked Saints), whom many people hold divine. Why ? Just because the law was not defined properly by genuine activists and because we commons do not have power to give OBJECTIVE opinions on laws.

 

So, whose fault is it ? It is fault of us activists that we blindly ape leaders. Leaders do not give detailed instructions, so we also do not do so for our proposals.

 

But leaders have certain limitations which we activists do not have. So, we do not need to blindly follow them. Not many people know us, so we can give detailed instructions to be implemented by the government officials.

`Ban Nudity` was just one example. You can replace that with anything like `Remove corruption`, `Improve education` etc.

 

Unspecific demand will lead to government making a flawed law, which is not what the demanding activist had in mind.

 

Then, the activist eventually loses all faith in system and laws and thinks that all laws can be manipulated etc.

 

So, it is our humble request to all genuine activists to please give detailed procedure-drafts for their demands and proposals. Without this, just making noise can backfire.

 

And after that they must create consensus amongst other activists and citizens by discussing the draft. Once there is a consensus, they should send sms/mail orders to the public servants.

 

Details of this method is given in this link -

 

www.facebook.com/notes/right-to-recall-against-corruption...

Rohani services for manpasand shadi k liye wazifa, pasand ki shadi k liye online baba g.manpasand ki shadi in dubai,Manpasand shadi in usa. Insaan ki had se barhti khawahishat jaise k jin ki takmeel ke liye halal aur haram ki tameez ko balay-e-taaq rakh dena is musibat ki bunyadi wajah hai. Is ke ilawa Allah ki janib se ata shuda naimaton ko apna zati kamal aur zati khoobi jana aur phir us ke natije main shukar guzari se ghaflat aur ghaflat ke baes faraiz aur wajbat ko tark kar dena musibat ki dusri wajah hai. Jub insan Allah ki na farmani main had se badhne lagta hai tou woh tarah tarah ki problems ka shikar hona shuru ho jata hai. Kabhi usay business main bay barkati ki shikayat hoti hai aur kabhi ghar main bay sakooni ka samna karna parta hai, kabhi aulad ki na farmani pareshan karti hai aur kabhi jawan betiyon ki ghar main mojod gii aur naik rishte, shadi manpasand ki, pasand ki shadi, manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi ka door door tak nazar na aana aur maa baap ke liye ghar main sub se bari preshani aur fikar mandi bachiyon ke liye munasib rishta milna hai.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

  

Islam is the true religion and it provide the clear guide line for its followers in all aspects of life, so in this way whenever there is a legal problem arise Islam provide the solution for that particular problem according to the light of Holy Quran.Through Quranic verses you can heal your illness and other spiritual problems and delays in your daily tasks.The given Dua ( Pray) is for early wedding and for marriage of your own choice it mean love marriage. Recite the given dua according to the guide and then Inshallah you will get the desire result through these Dua. Here is wazifa for love marriage, if you want to do love marriage and you are facing problems from both sides from girl parents and your parents please try this wazifa for marriage. For those boys who want to marry the girl they love, girl wants to marry boy she loves. so this wazifa is helpful in both cases.Wazifa for love between husband and wife.Please let me know what should I do. Please note that she offers prayers take “tasbeeh” Zikar and Durood shareef. (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.) Answer: Sifli amal magic In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for girls,kala jadu taweez for boy ,kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers. Your Question: Please let me know. Is there “Sifli Amal”. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for boy, kala jadu taweez for girls, kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

 

The ‘newspaper stand’ is soon becoming a forgotten way to communicate with the public. With more online news subscriptions being made, newspaper companies are leaving these structures abandoned. I want to use this endangered specie as a new way to communicate with the public once more. This is achieved using the concept of ‘site specific’ in the real world as well as the online world, and also by introducing a different concept of ‘time specific’. This technique helps to create a story on the street as well as the webpage in which the images are added to. Each newspaper stand represents a single page in the story “The Story of How Things Came to Bee”. Once the newspaper stand is placed back in the location from which it was originally borrowed from, a picture is taken at the exact time in which the story takes place. By adding the images to the webpage it allows for a narrative to bee created by using ‘notes’ (these are viewed by scrolling over the image) which can not bee seen on the street. Lastly, a map showing the locations of the newspaper stand is sited as well, allowing the online viewer to travel to each location and view these scenes in real life.

 

"Telephone companies have been abandoning their public telephone booths by taking out the phones and leaving the structures beehind. (Probably due to the rise in cell phone users.) I want to reuse these structures as a way of communication with the public once more by replacing that empty space with paper-mache beehives. To me, this symbolizes the irony beehind the question, 'where have so many of the bees gone' and the theory that cell phone signals have been misguiding their normal patterns of migration"

Rohani services for manpasand shadi k liye wazifa, pasand ki shadi k liye online baba g.manpasand ki shadi in dubai,Manpasand shadi in usa. Insaan ki had se barhti khawahishat jaise k jin ki takmeel ke liye halal aur haram ki tameez ko balay-e-taaq rakh dena is musibat ki bunyadi wajah hai. Is ke ilawa Allah ki janib se ata shuda naimaton ko apna zati kamal aur zati khoobi jana aur phir us ke natije main shukar guzari se ghaflat aur ghaflat ke baes faraiz aur wajbat ko tark kar dena musibat ki dusri wajah hai. Jub insan Allah ki na farmani main had se badhne lagta hai tou woh tarah tarah ki problems ka shikar hona shuru ho jata hai. Kabhi usay business main bay barkati ki shikayat hoti hai aur kabhi ghar main bay sakooni ka samna karna parta hai, kabhi aulad ki na farmani pareshan karti hai aur kabhi jawan betiyon ki ghar main mojod gii aur naik rishte, shadi manpasand ki, pasand ki shadi, manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi ka door door tak nazar na aana aur maa baap ke liye ghar main sub se bari preshani aur fikar mandi bachiyon ke liye munasib rishta milna hai.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

  

Islam is the true religion and it provide the clear guide line for its followers in all aspects of life, so in this way whenever there is a legal problem arise Islam provide the solution for that particular problem according to the light of Holy Quran.Through Quranic verses you can heal your illness and other spiritual problems and delays in your daily tasks.The given Dua ( Pray) is for early wedding and for marriage of your own choice it mean love marriage. Recite the given dua according to the guide and then Inshallah you will get the desire result through these Dua. Here is wazifa for love marriage, if you want to do love marriage and you are facing problems from both sides from girl parents and your parents please try this wazifa for marriage. For those boys who want to marry the girl they love, girl wants to marry boy she loves. so this wazifa is helpful in both cases.Wazifa for love between husband and wife.Please let me know what should I do. Please note that she offers prayers take “tasbeeh” Zikar and Durood shareef. (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.) Answer: Sifli amal magic In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for girls,kala jadu taweez for boy ,kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers. Your Question: Please let me know. Is there “Sifli Amal”. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for boy, kala jadu taweez for girls, kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

 

 

i'm gonna smile and stay for a while

we're walking on a golden path

smash the past like sugarglass

laughing in the face of what we've lost

 

nothing more i could've said

you can't explain the things you dont regret

but you can forget

no longer on a tightrope with no safety net

i'm not a puppet

so go ahead and cut my strings

'cause it's misguiding

free me from this cage and let me spread my wings

---- Gabrielle Aplin <3

Rohani services for manpasand shadi k liye wazifa, pasand ki shadi k liye online baba g.manpasand ki shadi in dubai,Manpasand shadi in usa. Insaan ki had se barhti khawahishat jaise k jin ki takmeel ke liye halal aur haram ki tameez ko balay-e-taaq rakh dena is musibat ki bunyadi wajah hai. Is ke ilawa Allah ki janib se ata shuda naimaton ko apna zati kamal aur zati khoobi jana aur phir us ke natije main shukar guzari se ghaflat aur ghaflat ke baes faraiz aur wajbat ko tark kar dena musibat ki dusri wajah hai. Jub insan Allah ki na farmani main had se badhne lagta hai tou woh tarah tarah ki problems ka shikar hona shuru ho jata hai. Kabhi usay business main bay barkati ki shikayat hoti hai aur kabhi ghar main bay sakooni ka samna karna parta hai, kabhi aulad ki na farmani pareshan karti hai aur kabhi jawan betiyon ki ghar main mojod gii aur naik rishte, shadi manpasand ki, pasand ki shadi, manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi ka door door tak nazar na aana aur maa baap ke liye ghar main sub se bari preshani aur fikar mandi bachiyon ke liye munasib rishta milna hai.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

  

Islam is the true religion and it provide the clear guide line for its followers in all aspects of life, so in this way whenever there is a legal problem arise Islam provide the solution for that particular problem according to the light of Holy Quran.Through Quranic verses you can heal your illness and other spiritual problems and delays in your daily tasks.The given Dua ( Pray) is for early wedding and for marriage of your own choice it mean love marriage. Recite the given dua according to the guide and then Inshallah you will get the desire result through these Dua. Here is wazifa for love marriage, if you want to do love marriage and you are facing problems from both sides from girl parents and your parents please try this wazifa for marriage. For those boys who want to marry the girl they love, girl wants to marry boy she loves. so this wazifa is helpful in both cases.Wazifa for love between husband and wife.Please let me know what should I do. Please note that she offers prayers take “tasbeeh” Zikar and Durood shareef. (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.) Answer: Sifli amal magic In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for girls,kala jadu taweez for boy ,kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers. Your Question: Please let me know. Is there “Sifli Amal”. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for boy, kala jadu taweez for girls, kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

 

.

.

STUDENTS' FEDERATION OF INDIA ALL INDIA STUDENTS' FEDERATION .

24 09 2002 .

DOWN WITH ABVP GOEBBLESIAN PROPAGANDA ! .

DOWN WITH THE OPPORTUNISM OF NSUI & AISA II .

.

The s_FI-~ISF condemns in strongest p~ssible ~erms. the _infiltration and indiscriminate firing by 2-3 terronst m Akshar Dham Temple, Gandhmagar m wh1ch SIX persons have been killed, 40 injured and another hundred expose to life threatening condition within the premise of the temple as per the latest reports available on News Channel. The army has moved in and all efforts need to be made to prevent any further casualty of innocent people. We urge upon all to remain vigilant and maintain .

peace and communal harmony in the face of such provocation. .

.

Friends, ABVP-the organisation which has time and again exr0sed itself as an organisation of lumpens and communal, .

casteist and patriarchal elements, has once again embarkei; upon rabidly misleading campaigns among the student comn:unity. They have been shamelessly absent. from all legltir;:ate democratic activities of the JNUSU throughout the year -be 1t the UGBM on 27.2.02, the 4-day long stnke on the Xth Plan and the JNUSU charter of demands in April-2002, the struggle against the deliberate delay in the appointment of JNU's Vice-Chancellor by the HRD Ministry, or the numerous .

protests, processions and demonstrations against the JNU Administration throughout the last and this semester. .

True to the nature of their ancestors and bosses from the RSS-BJP who have always played the role of saboteurs and disrupters of the united struggles of the common Indian people, right from the days of the freedom struggle where the RSS supported the British and the likes of A. B. Vajpayee wrote submissive letters to the British Courts; to the Emergency where their leaders wrote letters apology to Indira Gandhi from jail; to the present times where the BJP-Ied NDA government represents nothing but the unapologetic loot and plunder of the country's resources through successive scams and the state-sponsored spread of communal violence and ideology among the people of our country; the ABVP, too, has not missed out on even a single chance to try and disrupt the unity of the student community against the onslaught of anti-student policies of privatisation and saffronisation of education. .

In the last semester, just a day after the UGBM on the X Plan proposals where students unanimously condemned the killing of 59 people in the Sabarmati Express in Godhra and the JNUSU brought out a silent march to condemn the brutal killings, the ABVP brought out an extremely provocative and communal procession in the campus and completely exposed the1r barbaric and violent character befc.te the student commun1ty. They even went to the extent of shouting abuses outside of houses of faculty members belo~1ging to the minority community. They agam opposed the movement by the JNUSU against the delay by the HRD-Ministry in appoint1ng a long overdue Vice-Chancellor to JNU, thereby, showing their connivance with the politically motivated designs of their RSS-BJP bosses 1n the government against JNU. In this semester, they indulged 1n the most brazen attack on the JNUSU office bearers and girl students on the night of 1oth August, 2002, at the behest of the1r VHP-Ieader Ashok Singhal, who has been spreading communal venom in different parts of our country. Subsequently, the cour'lcilcr« from SES deliberately absen.ted themselves from three successive Council Meetings called on 21/8/02, 25/8/02 and 5/9/02 in order to consciously prevent any formal council .

meeting from taking place on the issue of violence and saffronisation-privatisation of JNU through the X Plan proposals. .

However, 1t is to the credit of the student community of JNU, that inspite of all these disruptive efforts by the ABVP on campus, the students of JNU have time and again risen in defense of our secular culture under the banner of the JNUSU and united to build democratic students' movements against anti-student policies and measures. The bankrupt policies and ideology of the ABVP stands completely exposed before the student community today, and it is only in order to hide their complete inactivity and isolation among the common students of JNU that the ABVP is now desperately trying to create imaginary enemies out of institutions like the GSCASH and do shadow-boxing against "imagined" statements allegedly made by GSCASH members. Such crude attempts to spread confusion among the student community by successively repeating the same lies about GSCASH members who were not present in the JNUSU Public Meeting or who did not speak in the same would even put Hitler's propaganda minister Goebbles to shame. We warn the ABVP against taking the consciousness of the student community for granted. Such diversionary tactics cannot hide the fact that the ABVP has been completely inactive on students' issues on campus except for occasions of inc1t1ng or indulging in violence or spreading communal-patriarchal and reactionary ideology among the student community. .

While the ABVP understandably cannot understand the significance of the advances made by the recent JNUSU agitation against the saffronisation-privatisation of JNU through the X Plan Proposals and on several other issues like the Mahi-Mandavi Mess, better library-internet facilities, scholurshlps, transportation etc., the opportunism of organizations like the NSUI or AI SA in trying to misguide the student community about the recent JNUSU agitation shows the extent to which these organizations are prepared to go to undermine the gains made by the student community for scoring narrow political points. The NSUI has comfortably forgotten its absence from all struggles led by the JNUSU for the last several years and is now trying to apologise for its absence from the JNUSU agit::~tion for the umpteenth time by calling this agitation an .

.

" elect1on g1mmick. The NSUI, 1s effectively strengthening the hands of the ABVP on campus, as 1t has done in the recent DUSU elections in Delhi University. The AISA on the other hand, participated in the agitation but has started its old refrain of "compromises" and "betrayals" by the JNUSU. We would advise the AISA to behave more responsibly in the face of the serious attacks by the forces of obscurantism and communalism. We would also advise the AISA not to trivialise the significant achievements made by the JNUSU in the fight against saffronisation and refrain from confusing the student community through the jugglery of semantics and semiotics. .

The SFI-AISF once again congratulates the JNUSU for launching a determined agitation against saffronisation and privatization of JNU and making significant advances in defence of the academic character of JNU and for students' rights. .

.

LONG LIVE STUDENTS' STRUGGLE ! .

Sd/- Sdi- .

lndranil Chowdhury Shamshad A . Khan .

Secretary, SFI-JNU Secretary, AISF-JNU .

.

.

.

.

.

 

@ Szentendre

 

Komondor is among the very bests. Fantastic nomad one. Looks lazy but that is just misguidance :o). He can hear from the intonation of his master if he has to intervene without any command.

Traditional Hungarian Sheep dog and watchdog.

 

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Komondor

Rohani services for manpasand shadi k liye wazifa, pasand ki shadi k liye online baba g.manpasand ki shadi in dubai,Manpasand shadi in usa. Insaan ki had se barhti khawahishat jaise k jin ki takmeel ke liye halal aur haram ki tameez ko balay-e-taaq rakh dena is musibat ki bunyadi wajah hai. Is ke ilawa Allah ki janib se ata shuda naimaton ko apna zati kamal aur zati khoobi jana aur phir us ke natije main shukar guzari se ghaflat aur ghaflat ke baes faraiz aur wajbat ko tark kar dena musibat ki dusri wajah hai. Jub insan Allah ki na farmani main had se badhne lagta hai tou woh tarah tarah ki problems ka shikar hona shuru ho jata hai. Kabhi usay business main bay barkati ki shikayat hoti hai aur kabhi ghar main bay sakooni ka samna karna parta hai, kabhi aulad ki na farmani pareshan karti hai aur kabhi jawan betiyon ki ghar main mojod gii aur naik rishte, shadi manpasand ki, pasand ki shadi, manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi ka door door tak nazar na aana aur maa baap ke liye ghar main sub se bari preshani aur fikar mandi bachiyon ke liye munasib rishta milna hai.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

  

Islam is the true religion and it provide the clear guide line for its followers in all aspects of life, so in this way whenever there is a legal problem arise Islam provide the solution for that particular problem according to the light of Holy Quran.Through Quranic verses you can heal your illness and other spiritual problems and delays in your daily tasks.The given Dua ( Pray) is for early wedding and for marriage of your own choice it mean love marriage. Recite the given dua according to the guide and then Inshallah you will get the desire result through these Dua. Here is wazifa for love marriage, if you want to do love marriage and you are facing problems from both sides from girl parents and your parents please try this wazifa for marriage. For those boys who want to marry the girl they love, girl wants to marry boy she loves. so this wazifa is helpful in both cases.Wazifa for love between husband and wife.Please let me know what should I do. Please note that she offers prayers take “tasbeeh” Zikar and Durood shareef. (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.) Answer: Sifli amal magic In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for girls,kala jadu taweez for boy ,kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers. Your Question: Please let me know. Is there “Sifli Amal”. what is kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez online, online kala jadu taweez baba, kala jadoo for love/lust, kala jadu taweez for death, kala jadoo taweez aamil baba, Kala Jadu Kia Hai, Kaley Jadu ki Pehchan, Kala jadoo online, Kala jadoo taweez, kala jadu taweez, kala jadoo taweez online, kala jadoo taweez for manpasand shadi, kala jadu for manpasand shadi, manpasand shadi k liye kala jadu taweez, Kala jadoo taweez for sas, kala jadoo taweezats, kala jadu taweez for love, kala jadoo taweez for girl friend, kala jadu taweez for shohar, kala jadu taweez for husband, kala jadoo taweez for wife, kala jadoo taweez for business. kala jadoo taweez for boy friend, kala jadu taweez for boy, kala jadu taweez for girls, kala jadoo aamil baba, kala jadoo taweez amil baba online.

kalajadublackmagick.blogspot.com

istikharahpk.com

+92 300 4198211

 

View On Black

  

Lisztomania - Phoenix

 

Follow, misguide, stand still.

Discuss, discourage

On this precious weekend.

 

Canon EOS 5D Mark II + 24-70mm f2.8 L

Kaayaaroganeswarar Temple, Nagaikaaronam (Nagapattinam)

Deity :

Kaayaaroganeswarar - Neelaayadaakshi

  

According to legend, a Chola king named Mucukunta obtained a boon from Indra(a celestial deity) and wished to receive an image of Thyagaraja Swamy reposing on the chest of reclining Lord Vishnu. Indra tried to misguide the king and had six other images made, but the king chose the right image and installed it at at Tiruvarur. The other six images were installed in Thirukkuvalai, Nagapattinam, Tirukarayil, Tirukolili, Thirukkuvalai and Tirumaraikadu. All the seven places are villages situated in the river Cauvery delta.

MiraN Jani Peak is the highest point of the Galiat Tracts, MiraN Jani is 9700 feet above sea level and the track to summit it starts from Nathia Gali. You may start your trek near Governor House of Khyber Pukhtonkhwa (NWFP) Government. This trek takes some 3 to 3 and half hours to reach at top. The entire track is lush green, jam-packed with pine family jungle and you can watch birds too. The entire Galiat Tracts falls in monsoon belt, although this area receives rains through out the year but rainy season is from mid July to mid August.

 

The local people always try to make afraid tourists that track is horrible and one may lost in the jungle, they just want to be a guide to grab some 1500 to 2500 PKR. But it is not fair, they people are too much commercialized even misguide the tourists.

Track is very simple and one may do it without any guide. If you can afford guide you must arrange it as we should promote tourism of Pakistan. But if you are low at money you can do it without guide.

 

Anyhow I am here for any guidance, if someone is interested just drop an email or call me. (See my profile for email id or cell number)

 

This photo was taken at the half of trek, where a very very rainy lake is existed.

   

Visits on my Flickr stream when I had my hijra pictures sets poems collections on public view was about 20000 .. average always above 17000 every day since 5 years or more.

  

I have posted till date 233,281 blogs / 1,959,415 views

 

But ever since I decided to remove my hijra blogs from Flickr my average came down to 7000 visits on my photo stream..

 

And I happy as my other blogs on culture rituals is being seen by default,

 

Another lady has also put all my pictures of Raveena hijra as her own it does not bother me but she has taken over the identity of a good hijra friend thereby cheating Flickr members using my pictures to entice youth and this is the danger of fake profile at Flickr that Flickr mamagement does not take seriously , this will have serious repercussions one day..

 

I am not going to cry over spilt milk I refuse to kowtow before Flickr customer care the most insensitive , heartless least caring and I say this without malice I am a Pro member I abide by Flickr Terms conditions so why are my pictures being stolen, why is Flickr not doing something about the faulty spaceball tool that instead of preventing downloads allows everyone to take our pictures and post it as their own on their photo streams..

  

The person who has stolen my pictures is using the identity of my hijra friend to misguide people on Flickr I have threatened her with reporting her criminal intent to the cyber police if she does not remove my pictures from her photostream..

 

And Yahoo Copyright is laid back lazy good for nothing entity instead of helping us they throw aspersions on us ...they start with the premise perhaps we have stolen our own pictures .. and I am unhappy with this sad turn of events. I am the aggrieved party .. and I am not getting HELP from Flickr.

 

person who has stolen my raveena hijras pictures

www.flickr.com/photos/79831527@N07/7190635236/in/photostream

Derived from the rebellious personality of the 'eldest' in Greek art-house film Dogtooth, this series of mine has been created with the intention of using such a rebellious concept by putting it into that of the more orderly, complying siblings and using certain scenes and ideas throughout the film to create a series of photographs depicting the revolt and taking of control against the constant underlying feel of authority and misguidance.

Well, today when I was going out in the afternoon, this is what I found when I walked to my car. My poor car was broken into, and the little $200 GPS and my CDs were stolen with the charger and suction cup still remaining on the floor; glass shattered everywhere.

 

I don't even know if it's my luck or not, but this is the second time I become a victim of criminal acts this year. Earlier this year in Seattle my friend's vehicle was broken into, and the only thing missing was my camera bag along with some photography equipments. This time, I feel calm but I'm having some mixed feelings about the neighborhood.

 

I came to the vehicle at 2pm in the afternoon on a Saturday, with the vehicle parked within the apartment complex parking lot.

 

#1, Nobody even made an attempt to contact me through the apartment manager.

 

#2, For all those people (many, many of them) who live in this complex, nobody and I repeat NOBODY expressed any forms of simpathy or offered ANY help or even asked what happened seeing glass shattered everywhere and my car messed up like that.

 

#3, Crime sucks, it really does - especially when this mess is going to cost a lot more money to mend than that crappy GPS of mine is worth. As dumb as the thief is, I have a feeling that he might return to break into my car a second time just for the charger. I told the cop who came to "investigate", and all he did was doing everything according to the books - writing down my info, and the info of my vehicle, and NOTHING ELSE. No dusting the prints like you see on TV, no question of whether I saw anybody suspicious, no nothing.

 

I'm still going to have to buy a bunch of crap to try to take care of the glass shattered everywhere and trapped in my seat fabrics, and waste a lot of my time dealing with insurance people and body shop to make sure everything goes right.

I really don't know how to react to this anymore but feeling really numb. All I know is, the silly GPS that always take me around and around going through the smallest streets you probably will never be, won't be misguiding me again for a while... *sigh*

 

I can't wait til I move out of this rat hole away from these cold blooded people.

 

(ranting because i became the 5th+ victim of car vandalization of this apartment complex, and nobody was ever arrested and still no prints are even being dusted)

(I have a request tonite...when you here this..that is the introduction)

 

scratching....(do you love pianos?)

   

[Tekniq]

 

This is how I represent I rock the mic 110 percent

 

It's intimate, I keeps the party moving like a imigrant

 

Binary Star, superstar its no coincidence

 

Every verse is intricate, this ain't a circus in a tent

 

We don't get down like them clowns and the kids

 

I'm use to being indegent, who said its all about the Benjamin's?

 

I wanna fortune, I wanna make music and hit the lottery

 

Fortunately my music is never watery

 

That's how its gotta be, as far as I can see

 

Maybe you should grab a telescope to see my veiw its like astronomy

 

It aint all about economy

 

so the fact that these wack emcees is making G's don't bother me

 

Honestly, my number one policy is quality

 

never sell my soul is my philosophy

 

High velocity, lyrics like Nastradamus make a prophecy

 

I told you cats a long time a go it ain't no stoppin' me

 

I bomb your set that's not a threat its a promise

 

Got everybody ridin' on my wagon like the Amish

 

But still I never claim to be a big rap star

 

So no matter who you are its still Allah who act God

 

Better believe this, most rappers can't achieve this

 

I'm bad to the bone but x-rays can't even see this

 

See I'm strategic I letcha money talk bullshit walk

 

While I keep it rollin' like parapalegics

 

Whoever's on the microphone let it be known

 

You in danger, I got next(necks) like the Boston Strangler

 

You ain't never heard an emcee speak like this

 

And Rodney King ain't never felt a beat like this

   

Voice: (That is the Main theme)... scratching.. ( I wanna know something else)

   

[Senim Silla]

 

Get a grip on yourself cuz you ain't grippin mines

 

Life and times, outta lies rap guys outta line careers I finalize

 

collide with this seranade cyanide you apply for Silla's high

 

The thing that makes killa's high

 

Hang 'em high by the gold link necktie

 

And drain 'em dry into tempest eye now you ain't God

 

so you ain't that high wanna be aeronautic

 

And get swatted for actin' fly

 

Masterminds crafty rhymes, I'll rip from drafty lines

 

that chill spines like the Alpines, runnin up on some natural binds

 

A close encounter of the worst kind

 

Go ask the cats that heard I'm lyrical turpentine

 

Who wanna taste mine I gotta carry hill on the wasteline

 

God give the bassline so let the phlegm fly

 

I survive seven-five through the M-ine, when I forcefully Jedi

 

On the wooze I red-eye, heads fly bet I, sharpshoot dead-eye

 

Snooze crews bed bye, Mary lou flippin' I pistol pump grippin

 

I stompin, I semper-fi represent, temper high, signify

 

Walkin round ain't nothin similar

 

Like a Gemini, in this perimeter sublimin-ie

 

Cats be cut dry more why I wet guys

 

I be rainin precipitation 'til it's one inch your neck high

 

Less fly kids misguide, without an alibi

 

Who said you rap tight? You come unraveled by

 

Slice of this rap scalpel, guys quick as apple pie

 

I'm learned in old schools of thought and shit you baffled by

 

Conceptual intellectual fireslide

 

Silla oxide rhymes flow like a rockslide

 

you musta forgot I, have your ass knockneed and cockeyed

 

Bruised, battered, broken up, walkin, cut dipped in peroxide

 

Death to the Pop Fly

   

( I usualy don't do request numbers)... scratching..

 

( unless of course I have been asked to do so)...

this one is by minna street.

"Telephone companies have been abandoning their public telephone booths by taking out the phones and leaving the structures beehind. (Probably due to the rise in cell phone users.) I want to reuse these structures as a way of communication with the public once more by replacing that empty space with paper-mache beehives. To me, this symbolizes the irony beehind the question, 'where have so many of the bees gone' and the theory that cell phone signals have been misguiding their normal patterns of migration"

Yunusism by Rashidul Bari

 

Introduction by Jerald Posman, Vice President, CUNY

 

Publisher: Madhab Chandro Das, Trayee Prokashan, Bangla Bazer, Dhaka

 

Book Publication Ceremony: Dhaka Sheraton on August 22, 2008

 

Presided by: Dr. Emajuddin Ahamed, Vice Chancellor, Dhaka University

 

Chief Guest: Al Mahmud, Prodan Kobi

 

Read from New Age: www.newagebd.com/2008/aug/23/img6.html

  

SYNOPSIS OF YUNUSISM

 

We refuse to believe the “bank of food, wealth, minerals, and fuels” of the world is bankrupt. We refuse to believe there are insufficient resources in the great vaults of mother earth. However, a few rich people have hijacked the great vaults of mother earth to which the poor have no access. We must fight them.

We also refuse to obey the fatwas of the ulema and the mullahs, because for so long they have been misguiding us. They encourage us to keep women at home for sex and to raise children. They advocate us marrying five wives, prohibiting them from driving, banning them from school, and stoning them to death “if necessary.” During my stay in Bangladesh, in 2007, in the rural area of Chittagong, mullahs ordered an unmarried female stoned to death for adultery in front of a delighted field of empty-headed Islamic ulema. These days they encourage us to make bombs and throw them at infidels and blasphemers. Although the Quran condemns killing innocents, nevertheless these terrorists destroyed American buildings in the name of Islam! Having done so, they not only killed 5,000 innocents, but slew the image of Islam. In fact, they hijacked Islam.

It is time to proclaim a revolution against the aforesaid hijackers. It is time to help the oppressed. It is time to rise from the dark to establish equality. It is time to lift our world from the quicksand of poverty onto the solid rock of surplus. It is time to proclaim the manifesto of our revolution—and we can make this dream come true through one philosophy: Yunusism.

It is Yunus who promoted the Bangladesh Liberation War in 1971 through the Bangladesh News Letter. It is Yunus who theorized the new concept of microcredit to benefit the world’s economy. It is Yunus who kicked at the fundamentalists’ foreheads by founding the Grameen Bank, of which 90 percent of the borrowers are women.

Grameen is not merely a bank; it is a religion designed to reduce poverty, improve education, house the homeless, abolish terrorism, heal the sick, protect the planet—and empower women. Within a quarter century, the Grameen movement has spanned nearly one hundred countries—including the United States—under the leadership of one charismatic person: Professor Muhammad Yunus.

It is time to persuade 1.3 billion Muslims to follow the path of Yunus rather than the path of the evil Osama Bin Laden, the ulema, or the mullahs. If we do not then men like Dr. Alvin Harp will continue to have a basis upon which to ask why the lives of 15 million people (Jews) are of greater value than those of 1.3 billion (Muslims).

Grand Central Terminal:

It is a terminal station at 42nd Street and Park Avenue in Midtown Manhattan in New York City. It is the largest train station in the world by number of platforms: 44, with 67 tracks along them.

An interesting read - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Central_Terminal

 

A HDR after a long time! The biggest problem with HDR is that it is hard to choose between the realistic view, the tradeoff, the hdrish look. I choose the most realistic view!!! It was a tough choice.

 

That was one day when I wished I had lens wider than my 18mm! Cos I could neither step behind not forward! Hence I should say a weak composition! I liked the contrast! So posted it!! More to come, but this is the best of em all!!!

 

Better in Black

 

As usual some technical floatsum below! I guess these are pretty much speific to Qtpfsgui! The values below are misguiding, since the saturation was provided by fatal. Drago was the base though!

 

Qtpfsgui 1.9.3 tonemapping parameters:

Operator: Drago

Parameters:

Bias: 0.85

------

PreGamma: 1

  

you flipped your four door sedan over the meridian

you flipped your four door sedan over the meridian

music that makes you SIT UP IN YOUR DOUBLE BED

with your favorite person inside i thought about glass

broken glass in an alleyway in the middle of the night

trampoline misguidance, into outer space, being extracted from the earth by imaginary tweezers by the collar of my shirt

"how do i tell you that you are the best part of my day?"

besides,

what you said, that made my red blood cell count higher, probably

safety

safety

safety

safety

safety

relief?

is it too predictable to say, you are why i love this song

this time, we were driving away from an art exhibit, there were teenagers dying in the art exhibit

which was funny and melodramatic

when we got there we saw bouncing replicas of hot air balloons

i was wearing headphones, i think it was the microphones

tape holding my sides together

they were wearing some scents some non-animal scents

hide their pheromones, distract some snouts

there were bouncy balls installed into the ceiling, facing away from us, but we could see through their clear plastic bubbles

plush alligators hopped on them

i went up the stairs and my ex girlfriend sent me a text message that said

"maureen i liked your hot air balloons"

and that was weird

"i think that some people would say i live in a world similar to that of a skill crane full of plush replicas of shamu and basketball cards of dennis rodman from 1995"

is your language my language? is your language my language?

is it really the same one?

is the function of a writer to produce a masterpiece?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qsfnfnJ5yQ

 

Main points:

- The Quran does not promote violence; no Sufi has ever promoted violence or terrorism. Rumi said his poetry is the Persian translation of the Quran. Many in the West admire him. Having read his poetry, none turned violent.

 

- It's about understanding God's word. If your mind is corrupt already, you'll take the wrong meaning of it. You need pure heart to read Quran. Mujaddid Alif Sani, a Sufi scholar, said, 'Novices in Islam shouldn't go near Quran; they're not worthy of reading it.' Prophet Mohammad said that an evil is born with every human being (Nafs). You're a novice in Islam until your inner is completely purified.

 

- The Quran says that if you are impure, do not touch the Quran. This doesn't mean physical uncleanliness; Quran wasn't in book form when this verse was revealed. Quran itself says that it guides some and misguides others. Even Muslims practising Islam for years were unable to grasp meaning of God's word.

 

Further comments from His Holiness Younus AlGohar:

 

The Quran isn't an easy book to understand. People with inner impurities are advised against reading it. Only the pure of heart and cleansed souls are advised to read and study the Quran.

 

Those with impurities are misled by the Quran and only the purified ones find guidance by the Quran. Power of understanding is granted to purified hearts only. Those who remain impure and study the Quran fall prey to evil.

 

The Quran was revealed onto the heart of Prophet Mohammad. It was never meant to have been given form of a book. The Quran was to be transmitted spiritually from one heart to another. The Prophet said He was city of knowledge and Ali was the gateway to this knowledge.

 

Read the full transcript here: rariazgoharshahi.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/who-should-or-sho...

Chitrali lamented Trade Mafia for conspiracy to stop mobile greengrocers.

 

CHITRAL: Residents of Chitral strongly criticized trade mafia who are

busy in a conspiracy against mobile greengrocers who carrying

vegetable in their vehicle and selling it at a very low and cheap rate

as mobile venders. A government official on condition of anonymity

told this scribe that local shopkeepers and greengrocers were looting

the people with both hands by selling vegetables and edible things on

a very high price (rate) but when non local venders carrying

vegetables in vehicles and selling it as mobile vender on a very

cheap as comparative to local shopkeepers as a result trade mafia

shocked and they submitted applications to DCO and DPO to stop these

mobile venders. When president of Trade union Haji Habib Hussain

Mughal contacted he confirmed and said that we had submitted an

application to allow local traders that they too sell vegetable as

mobile vender in their vehicles but we were not allowed to do so

because of blocking of traffic. District Police Officer Chitral

Muhammad Jaafar Khan replied when he was contacted in this regard that

local shopkeepers took the plea that they paying tax and mobile

venders pay no tax that is why they appose them and trying to stop

them. But it was confirmed from the concern authority that Chitral is

a tax free zone and no shopkeeper pay any tax but they only want to

mislead ( misguide) the local administration and police by this way.

 

A number of citizen complained that local shopkeepers motivating

traffic police to book and fine mobile greengrocers and using

different tactics to discourage them and to create hurdles in their

way to not carry vegetables for selling it on a very cheap rate. It is

worth to mention here that before opening of Lawari tunnel for

passengers and vehicular traffic local shopkeepers and greengrocers

were selling tomato @ 40 to 50 rupees per KG but mobile venders

selling it @ 20 rupees similarly they were selling every items of

vegetable on double and triple rate as comparative to mobile venders.

But when Lawari tunnel was open for vehicular traffic and non local

people carrying vegetable and fruits in vehicles and selling it a very

cheap and reasonable rate as a result people not purchasing these

things from local shopkeepers and that is why they using different

tactics to discourage and for failure of these vendors. Social and

political circle of the area and president Legal Aid Forum for Human

Rights Abdul Nasir have warned these mafia and requested local

administration for cooperation these venders because the rendering

great service to poor people by selling edible thing with a very low

and cheap rate. They also have appeal DPO Chitral to direct traffic

police to not harass and worry these mobile greengrocers on gesture of

local shopkeepers so as to continue their service and local people get

benefits from them. They have warned if these mafia not stopped

these tactics they will approach to the court of justice against this

conspiracy against mobile venders because according to constitution of

Pakistan every Pakistani is allow to mobile and do work at any part of

the country.

 

G.H. Farooqi PO box No. 50 GPO Chitral Pakistan phone # 03025989602,

0943-302295, 414418

Email: gulhamad@gmail.com

O' creatures of Allah! the most beloved of Allah is he whom Allah has given power (to act) against his passions, so that his inner side is (submerged in) grief and the outer side is covered with fear. The lamp of guidance is burning in his heart. He has provided entertainment for the day that is to befall him. He regards what is distant to be near himself and takes the hard to be light. He looks at and perceives; he remembers (Allah) and enhances (the tempo of his) actions. He drinks sweet water to whose source his way has been made easy. So he drinks to satisfaction and takes the level path. He has put off the clothes of desires and got rid of worries except one worry peculiar to him. He is safe from misguidance and the company of people who follow their passions. He has become the key to the doors of guidance, and the lock for the doors of destruction.

 

He has seen his way and is walking on it. He knows his pillar (of guidance) and has crossed over his deep water. He has caught hold of the most reliable supports and the strongest ropes. He is on that level of conviction which is like the brightness of the sun. He has set himself for Allah, the Glorified, for performance of the most sublime acts of facing all that befalls him and taking every step needed for it. He is the lamp in darkness. He is the dispeller of all blindness, key to the obscure, remover of complexities, and a guide in vast deserts. When he speaks he makes you understand whereas when he remains silent then it is safe to do so. He did everything only for Allah and so Allah also made him His own. Consequently, he is like the mines of His faith and as a stump in His earth. He has enjoined upon himself (to follow) justice.

 

The first step of his justice is the rejection of desires from his heart. He describes right and acts according to it. There is no good which he has not aimed at nor any likely place (of virtue) of the Qur'an. Therefore the Qur'an is his guide and leader. He gets down when the Qur'an puts down his weight and he settles where the Qur'an settles him down.

am i muslim

am i hindu

am i christian

am i a jew

what am i

no i am not human

it is being human

that they dupe

me with

relgion

divide me

deride me

make me cry

offer me heaven

as a bribe

punish me with hell

man

the last and final call

of a lost tribe

what am i

a sunni

a shia

no not a tabbliki

no not a jammati

no not a wahabbi

no not a ahle hadees

no not a agha khani

what am i

no not a bahai

i am a blind man

a stick of my helplessness

misguiding me

with other peoples views

and other peoples eyes

what am i

a cypher yes

a human

i am not

humanity

a cowardice

i do deny

am i a hijda

am i transgender

am i a eunuch

am i a hermophrodite

what am i..

i am what i am

a tear muffled to a cry

a distant land

within the country of my birth

india ..a karbala

i dont deny

in my heart

lives a god

called

what am i

  

'Those that seek God without spiritual knowledge fall prey to satan.' - His Holiness Younus AlGohar

Location: Kafrul, Dhaka; Bangladesh

 

Gear: Canon EOS 550D

 

Behind The Shot: It’s a story about a boy, a young boy of 23. Is the name is so important? I don’t think, the name of that boy is that much important for my story. He is not that much different from the others who struggling for surviving and a little betterment of the life.

 

This young guy has mother and two sisters in his family. Don’t misguide by my previous line. His father is not dead. He’s simply left them. But this matter doesn’t really have such influence on them. Because once he was with them but like an inexistent character. They had to live. So they started fight against life and they are still trying to develop their life better every moment.

 

I’ll not tell the story of that family. My story is about that young boy of 23. He was not such an extra-ordinary boy of his class and had to change his school and medium of study for nine times just because of the wrong decision of his father. Anyway he passed his school with an unexpected good result. From that time he started to think about his family betterment.

 

His mother was old enough to retire but she wasn’t. His elder sister was made her and younger sister’s pocket money by doing tuition. He was feeling shame because he couldn’t contribute anything to the family even then. So he started to think, how could he? In the period of college, he asked his mother to make their built their two storied building into three storied. He worked so hard with the masons to save the money. When he was almost end of his college life, the fourth storey was also completed. He could also make an acceptable good result in the college.

 

At present this guy is in the under-graduation level. His mother is still doing job. This young guy still lives with a dream to see the day her mother can enjoy her retirement and also her sister can live their life with the smile of satisfaction. This battle of life is still to be conquered. At the end of the day, when his feet can get relax finally, he closes his eyes with the hope of the day of the victory of a warrior.

The English name is misguiding—they are found from Ecuador and Brazil down to the southernmost tip of the continent.

 

Phoenicopterus chilensis

English: Chilean Flamingo

Español (de Argentina): flamenco austral

Avañe'ẽ (guarani): guarimbo pytã

Qhichwa simi (quechua): tukuku

Mapudungun: pitral

Qom l'aqtaqa (toba): ca'agoxoic lalaxat, matacalo

 

Location / Lugar: Jardín Zoológico de La Plata (La Plata Zoological Garden), La Plata, Buenos Aires province, Argentina

Distribution range / Área de distribución: From Ecuador and Brazil to Tierra del Fuego; rare in Falkland Islands / Desde Ecuador y Brasil hasta Tierra del Fuego; raro en las Islas Malvinas

They Live, We Sleep

Artist Statement

 

“We are living in an artificially induced state of consciousness that resembles sleep. The poor and the underclass are growing. Racial justice and human rights are nonexistent.

They influence our decisions without us knowing it. They numb our senses without us feeling it. They control our lives without us realizing it.

They have created a repressive society and we are their unwitting accomplices ...their intention to rule rests with the annihilation of consciousness.

We have been lulled into a trance.

They have made us indifferent, to ourselves, to others; we are focused only on our own gain. They are safe as long as they are not discovered ...that is their primary method of survival.

Keep us asleep, keep us selfish, keep us sedated...they are dismantling the sleeping middle class.

More and more people are becoming poor. We are their cattle. We are being bred for slavery.”

– They Live

 

This photographic body of work is inspired by John Carpenter’s 1988 film, “They Live.” The movie was also credited by Shepard Fairey “as a major source of inspiration for his own subversive brand of street art.” They Live was the basis for his use of the word ‘OBEY’ that became his main campaign and a popular clothing brand consequently.

The protagonist of the movie, an unemployed drifter named "Nada," accidentally comes across a box of sunglasses. After putting a pair on, he realizes that they are quite special. He sees the world in black and white and discovers that it's not what it seems. The series of images I have created are like those unique sunglasses that Nada stumbled upon, aim to show the world to the viewer for what it truly is. I hope they will help people to take into consideration what they sacrifice by blindly following self-serving governments and corporations’ agendas.

Through this photographic project my intent is to encourage people to be more aware of the habitual ways of living that we have been thoughtlessly following for most of human history. It seems as though the human race would have learned by now to not put their trust in the hands of the misguiding ruling class. Unfortunately most of the humanity is still in the state of mindless consumerism and simply does not realize that their decisions, their entire lives are being manipulated.