View allAll Photos Tagged kintsugi
:: skin & makeup ::
joann // the skinnery
aphrodite lipstick // velour
kintsugi eyeshadow // warpaint
:: set dressing ::
mini boho kitchen // kraftwork
farmhouse kitchen items // nutmeg
kitchen clutter items // kraftwork
mediterranean kitchen stool // kopfkino
pooch in a purse // black bantam
autumn flowers bouquet // ariskea
:: accessories ::
ballerina short nails // cazimi
starlight necklace // michan
alice rings // vibing
mug + teabag (now @equal10) // lavish
:: hair ::
lydia hair // magika
:: outfit ::
kamryn sweater // ison
leilani lalazzo pants // ison
What a surprise to find this little corner in the woods above the garden with lanterns. Two foxes were up there looking like something out of a fairy tale book. A very enchanting spot.
Not sure if this actually is a fox or maybe a wolf ; )
Photo Location ~ Kintsugi, Spirited Beyond
Flickr Group ~ www.flickr.com/groups/14751711@N22/
**************
What is Kintsugi? Known as Kintsugi or Kintsukuroi is a Japanese technique for fixing ceramic pieces (also other materials) In this artistic technique, the fractures of any piece are fixed with gold. In fact, the most faithful translation of kintsugi is “golden repair”.
¿Qué es el Kintsugi? Conocido como Kintsugi o Kintsukuroi es una técnica japonesa para arreglar piezas de cerámica (también otros materiales) En esta técnica artística, las fracturas de cualquier pieza se arreglan con oro. De hecho, la traducción más fiel de kintsugi es «reparación de oro».
Outfit
↝ Daisy Wool Knit Dress 〜 @ Uber Event 〜 Kaithleen´s
Fit for Maitreya Lara and Petite, Legacy and Perky , Slink HG, Belleza. eBody, Kupra
Comes in 20 Colors, Customizable
Pose
↝ We Belong 〜 West End
Couple Bento Pose,Copy/Modify
* More Info In Alexandra Sunny Styles*
maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Runaway/42/108/21
the lone pink tree sitting in the water at Kintsugi. peaceful.
Bento Mesh Head: Catwa Margeaux
Bento Mesh Body: Maitreya Lara
Face/Body Applier: Momoka by DeeTaleZ
Hair: Sei by [monso]
Ensemble: Phoenix Kimono, Hose, & Shoes (all pink) by Silvery K now @ The Japonica Event @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/BAROQUED/96/128/2
Japanese Talisman Headpiece w/ texture HUD by Butanik83 now @ The Japonica Event @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/BAROQUED/96/128/2
Decoration Obi (Cherry Blossoms) by Naminoke
Dragon Rings: RealEvil
Xou Eyeshadow: SlackGirl
DimpleMe dimples: SlackGirl
Lush Lipgloss: *League*
Leila Eyes Applier: .euphoric
Mini Sakura Hand Particles: Curious Kitties
POSE: My own
Garden Pavilion Lantern: [DDD]
Draglette - blush: Foxwood
SIM: Kintsugi, Spirited Beyond @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Runaway/143/133/27
What a wonderful world_Eva Cassidy & Katie Melua
see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Songwriters: Robert Thiele / George Douglas / George David Weiss
Picture taken @ Kintsugi; Spirited Beyond "Made with Care"
Bento Mesh Head: Genus Baby Face
Bento Mesh Body: Maitreya Lara
Face/Body Applier: Jayleen by DeeTaleZ
Hair: Creme by eXxEsS
Body Tatt: Demon's Vines by Rekt Royalty
Ensemble: Autumn Faerie by Boudoir (incl. Pumpkin vines skirt, Pumpkin headpiece, chest deco)
Titania Bento Wings (peach): Harvest Moon
Shiny Elf Ears: ^^Swallow^^
Precious Set Nails/Rings: RealEvil
Dimples: SAGNIS
Giselle Eyes Applier: .euphoric
Lipstick Applier: Pandora by Tres Beau
Eyeshadow Applier: Starlit by ~Shiny Stuffs~
Faerie Maiden Emerald: *HEXtraordinary*
Fennec Fox Companion Cream: *HEXtraordinary*
Storyteller's Burrow (boat w/ poses) - Uncertain Destiny RARE by 8f8
Japanese Floating Lanterns Kanji by Tsunami Creations (on MP)
SIM: Kintsugi; Spirited Beyond @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Runaway/109/137/21
Bento Mesh Head: LeLutka Aida
Bento Mesh Body: Maitreya Lara
Face Applier: Candace 3 by [The Skinnery]
Body Tatt: Technojewels by [Pickle Ink]
CentLightaur: JINX
Centaur Wings: JINX
Boxy Boots for CentLightaur: JINX
Flag Tail: Cinnamon (hard to see, but it's there! :D )
Hair: Embers by Stealthic
Fantasy Headdress Mask: Unzipped
Sophia Tank Top: Addams
Elektra Nails & Rings: RealEvil
Black Heart Necklace (WLRP gift): Wicca's Originals
Belly Piercing: [ bubble ]
Secret Love Eyes Applier: .euphoric
Crush Lip Applier: *League*
POSE: Take a Bow HUD (arms tweaked) by JINX
SIM: Kintsugi, Spirited Beyond @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Runaway/159/201/42
♡ portrait of my sweet and crazy long time friend Zalindah at this amazing new SIM called Kintsugi, that she built with the talented Bambi ♡
Look! 0.99 BETA - [Runaway,-$ńř,Ně;,ǟƫv,-£ɣđ,Oġĉ,ǟwơ]
Visit this location at Kintsugi; Spirited Beyond "Made with Care", Runaway in Second Life
♥::SnowWhite:: Parl Earings & Ring
Thank you------♥♥♥
[COLLABOR88]～March 6, 2022
▶WarPaint* Kintsugi eyeshadow
[ETC]
▶tram L0108 hair
I'm sorry.
I've replaced the SS💦
Up close and personal today with the LOGO Chelsea head - I have to say this is a shape I'm really growing to love a lot. In general, my experience with LOGO heads has been fantastic - they tend to be easy to shape and the expressions/animations are superb. The only real issue is finding more options for customization, so we need more beauty brands out there to make more LOGO products, pretty please!!
Also, IKON has been busy creating newness, the newest of which are these gorgeous Ascension Redux eyes. Want to win some free eyes? Take a little time to fill out the IKON Customer Survey for a shot - or join the in-world group and you can get the latest for free!
The deets:
LOGO Chelsea Head
Pink Fuel Paulina Skin
IKON Ascension Redux Eyes
WarPaint Kintsugi Eyeshadow
Stealthic Dice hair - available at Equal10 through 5-Jul
Full details at Grumpy Kitten.
I do know a lot about plants and gardening.... love my yard...
how ever, my green fingers are not able to keep orchids alive 😉
I did read that they are regarded as emblems of integrity, elegance and friendship. They also have a reputation for being symbols of fertility and elegance.
Though different colored orchids have a diverse range of symbolisms.
* White orchids symbolize innocence and purity, as well as elegance and reverence.
* Pink orchids symbolize femininity, grace, and joy.
* Yellow orchids symbolize friendship and new beginnings. They make great gifts for a friend to celebrate an accomplishment.
* Purple orchids symbolize royalty and admiration, and are traditionally given as a sign of respect.
* Orange orchids symbolize pride, enthusiasm, and boldness.
Any color or meaning..... whatever.....
don't give them to me.... they surely die :)
~ hugs ~
Taken at the beautiful spiritual sim
Bento Mesh Head: LAQ Ivy
Bento Mesh Body: Maitreya Lara
Face/Body Applier: Rozen by Glam Affair
Body Tatt: Glowing Tattoo -
Elven Princess by [Kensho]
Sylvan Ears: BentBox
Hair: Charisma by TRUTH
Ensemble: Accia by Les Encantades (w/ texture HUD) now @ We Love Role-Play @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Riverhunt/126/124/1503
Boots: Aerendyl (w/ texture HUD) by Eudora3D
Gaia Crown by Black Pearls
Aewel Fairy Gloves: RealEvil
Elegant Arm Cuffs: Just Because
Gerbera Fairy [Companion]: !Ohmai:
Osaguar (my steed) by Clover now @ We Love Role-Play @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Riverhunt/126/124/1503
SIM: Kintsugi; spirited Beyond @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Runaway/163/226/41
An incredibly beautiful garden graced with floating lanterns, I stood mesmerized while watching them in motion.
And now over the bridge to explore the other side ; )
Photo Location ~ Kintsugi, Spirited Beyond
Flickr Group ~ www.flickr.com/groups/14751711@N22/
**************
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love this particular spot on Kintsugi because it reminds me of the scene in "Memoirs of a Geisha" where our blue-eyed Sayuri, as a young girl, is running through a very similar place as she tries to be on time for her geisha classes. It was a very dramatic moment, and the cinematography was truly magnificent in this scene.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bento Mesh Head: Catwa Lona
Bento Mesh Body: Maitreya Lara
BOM Face Applier: Linna by 7
Deadly Skins
Skin Applier: Sand by 7 Deadly Skins
Guardian Face Tatt by Nefekalum Tattoos now @ We love Role-Play @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Riverhunt/129/130/1503
Body Tatt: Wrony by Juna
Hair: Medusozoa by .Shi Hair
Ensemble: Guardian Tunic & Wrist Bracers (wearing crimson & gold, available in 4 gorgeous colors) by RFyre now at We Love Role Play at maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Riverhunt/126/124/1503
Golden Lantern Sakkat (Chinese hat): {egosumaii}
Metal Choker: Sweet Lies Original
Nightmare Rings Set: (Yummy)
BOM Lip Applier: Ingrid (Kiss n' Go) True Blood by Essences
Eyes Applier: Giselle by .euphoric
POSE: *Animal Family* Respect by Le Poppycock (tweaked for picture)
Libellune Valyrian Dragon Arm Khaki #2 RARE: SEmotion
Grieving Focus - Still (magic lantern- available as both still & rotating): by unstable. now @ We maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Riverhunt/129/130/1503
Torii - Fushimi Inari - plate (red oriental overhang/pillars): Pucca Firecaster Creations
SIM: Kintsugi Spirited Beyond @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Runaway/27/91/21
The little man invites you over for lunch…
“Don’t worry. I made enough for everyone!”
Skippy envisioned his universe with the help of the following amazing creations:
hive’s Refrigerator, Island, Stove, Cabinets, Dishwasher, Drawers, Sink, and Backsplash, which are all part of the Modular Cozy Kitchen Collection!
Oh Deer!’s Wise, Robbie Robin, and Fox Lemon, which are all part of the Nailed It! Collection!
[Rezz Room]’s Shiba Inu Puppy!
Apple Fall’s Copper Pots, Recipe Books, and Gourds in Vintage Bowl!
dust bunny’s Sauce Pot, Colander, Holdable Mac, Prep Board, and Dish of Mac, which are all part of the Mac & Cheese Vibes Collection!
dust bunny’s Carmel Apples, and Coffee Machine!
8f8’s Pottery Cluster, Red Osier Dogwood in Wood Vase, Roll with It Paper Towels, Light of Concrete, Light of Broken, Light of Kintsugi, and Lost Fragments Mosaic, which are all part of the Art Of Nature Collection!
8f8’s Perfect Slice, which is part of The Sweetest Spot Collection!
8f8’s Pans & Pots, which are part of the New Beginnings Collection!
8f8’s Throw Rug, which is part of the Granny’s Winter Cottage Collection!
Thank you for your continued kindness and support, my friends.
You amaze and inspire.
So please keep creating.
Keep lifting one another up.
And keep shining so bright!
I know I feel your light.
And for that, I am grateful.
A friends sim was closing tonight, so I went and got some last minute pics! This was the last one, as they were pulling it down, so I had to hurry!
When nature meets art, it's sure to be a compilation of beautiful things by 8f8....inspired by the current world situation, 8f8 made a "Quarantine Dreamhouse"..equipped with walls that can come down when things settle a bit...my glass is half full so I decided to showcase the pond area with the walls gone...(can be put back up with one magic click of your mouse). You can find this beautiful set out now at the Epiphany. Pictured from the Art of Nature collection :
01_8f8 - Art of Nature - HomeHe.art.h RARE
02_8f8 - Art of Nature - Spring Bringer RARE
03_8f8 - Art of Nature - Time is... Running
08_8f8 - Art of Nature - Inner Garden
11_8f8 - Art of Nature - Light of Kintsugi
12_8f8 - Art of Nature - Missing Pieces
13_8f8 - Art of Nature - Long Rest
16 8f8 - Art of Nature - Oliver
17_8f8 - Art of Nature - Catch me if you can!
18_8f8 - Art of Nature - Cherry Garden
19_8f8 - Art of Nature - Spring Table
22_8f8 - Art of Nature - Gingko
25_8f8 - Art of Nature - Liberated Grass
26_8f8 . Art of Nature - Young Maple
29_8f8 - Art of Nature - Lotus Bunch
30_8f8 - Art of Nature - Daffodils
8f8 - Art of Nature - Pottery Cluster VIP
8f8 - Art of Nature - Bunch of Flowers 8f8 GG
The Epiphany: maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/The%20Epiphany/167/183/167
8f8 Mainstore: maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Black%20Kite/138/109/21
8f8 Flickr: flic.kr/ps/2iWGNc
8f8 items that can be found at the mainstore (LM above)
8f8 - Beautiful Imperfections - Petit yet Grown
Thanks for your support and have a safe and healthy week ahead! 😊
:: skin & makeup ::
joann // the skinnery
andromeda lashes // warpaint
juju lipstick // velour
rainstorm eyes // the mars
kintsugi eyeshadow // warpaint
:: set dressing ::
street 44 backdrop // paleto
noella pose // sweet art
:: accessories ::
anna's rings // kibitz
cute hearts earrings // andore
lovella septum // sadgirl
ballerina short nails // cazimi
:: hair ::
lethal // stealthic
:: outfit ::
the oh! dress // cynful
Location: Where our journey begins
maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Santa%20Iria/23/206/26
Genus Baby Face head
Maitreya Lara body
7 Deadly s[K]ins Mirrah skin in “Marshmallow”
euphoric Anna eyes
MICHAN Olivia lashes
IDTTY Faces Sweet Babe eyeshadow
VELOUR Erina blush
Finer Threads Suly beauty marks & freckles
IDTTY Faces Golden Heart lipstick
FABIA Lirica hair (Gacha #3)
IlCoColI Kya top & skirt
Kibitz So Loving necklace
alme Porcelain Kintsugi nails
REIGN Floral Jacori Plats
.::Crystal::. Parfait
As she looks down in obedience,
she simply waves her hand
Inviting you in with a humble sign
knowing you would understand.
She moves away with grace and silent pas
leaves you behind at the wonderful tree
You sit down and enjoy the silence
then she comes back to serve you tea.
(What else did you expect 😉)
~ Kit ~
Taken at the beautiful spiritual sim
Kintsugi ~ Spirited Beyond "Made with Care"
Outfit from irrISIStible
Thank you Isis for your amazing creations and creativity....🌹
Head: Lelutka - Inez
Skin: Heaux - Caro
Moles: Jack Spoon - La Boheme (@Fifty)
Eyeshadow: Warpaint - Kintsugi
Eyebrows: Warpaint - Anais (@Anthem)
Nose Contour: Jack Spoon - Nose Contour
Eyebags: The Skinnery - Wornout
Hair: Tram - L0425 (@Uber)
Hickies/bites: Ladybird -Cheyenne
Necklace: Kibitz - See you
Choker: Conviction - Hexem Choker
Bodysuit/Cardigan: Lunar - Moth (@Equal10)
Headwings: I I C I N G - Cherub Headband
Septum: Unicult - Barbed Septum
Bento Mesh Head: Catwa Daria
Bento Mesh Body: Maitreya Lara
Face/Body Applier: Kyouko by DeeTaleZ
Kitsune Face Painting: LeForme
Outfit: Hikari (4 commons, 1 rare, 2 styles + hat not pictured) by Les Sucreries de Fairy available @ the Harajuku Event @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Intimacy/102/64/2514 June 20th - July 10th.
Hair: F135 by KMH Hair
Kistune Mask: Kokoro poses
Kyoto Okobo: Dahlia (shoes)
High Waisted Tights Applier: Izzie's
Precious Set Rings: RealEvil
Lush Lipgloss: *League*
Eyebrows Set 3 by Adam & Eve
Leila Eyes Applier: .euphoric
Parakeet Pal - Cloud: *HEXtraordinary*
Green Finch: *HEXtraordinary*
Spirit Fox - Yuki (Sitting): [Harshlands]
[on the Beach] Floor pillows . boho RARE: Sway's
SIM: Kintsugi, Sprited Beyond @ maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Runaway/42/77/21
________________________________________________
'Kintsukuroi is the general concept of highlighting or emphasizing imperfections, visualizing mends and seams as an additive or an area to celebrate or focus on, rather than absence or missing pieces.'
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi
________________________________________________
Nefekalum's fab new materials tattoo, Medusa's Gaze, reminded me a lot of the Japanese art of Kintsuku - especially with the gold in the gaps of the cracks. I added cinphul's carnal headpiece [I turned it upside down for a different look] and completed the entire outfit with various pieces for that otherworldly Mage look. Yes, the diet is going well...
________________________________________________
Nefekalum Tattoos - Medusa's Gaze- @Mainstore [New Location!]
cinphul // carnal II @The Darkness Event till Aug 31st 2020
Nefekalum // [CX] Sceleratis Drip Augment
[CX] Sceleratis Ears
-Both @The Men’s Dept till Aug 30th 2020
Dura-B101-FAT PACK2 @ManCave till Sept 11th 2020
{aii & ego} + Ibaraki BOM Horns +
{aii & ego} + Flame Dual Magical Orbs +
Both @Mainstore
ANTINATURAL[+] Lost Saints / Unsainted / JAKE / RARE @Mainstore
- PENDULUM - PATIH . BlackChromatic @Mainstore
LUX AETERNA [Sigillum Dei Aemeth] Group Gift @Mainstore
LeLUTKA.Head Skyler 2.0 @Mainstore
-Belleza- Jake 2.1 Bento @Mainstore
Femme Fatal Odd Jobs.
Its break time at the Naughty Shop, Flit's been dancing in that window all night undercover and her feet are killing her. This assignment is super weird but she has to get her mark at any cost.
--
FEATURES
CYBER FAIR One year anniversary // Dates: March 4 - 14
- Fika - Zira Suit - Maitreya
SEKA's Un.Plugged Shoulder FATPACK
THIS IS WRONG Error anim tattoo
EXTRA CREDIT
AZOURY - Assuetude Maitreya Lara [Right Leg]
AZOURY - Systeme D Red [Left Leg]
BackBone Princess Pleasure Place
BackBone Display Mannequin - Holo & Kintsugi
*Bolson / Tattoo - Hort
FOXCITY. Mani Bento Pose Set
FOXCITY. Decor - NAILED Mag Stack
*katat0nik* Leg Bandana
[ kunst ] - Nose plaster
[ kunst ] - Piercing 6
LEMME... Game over
[MANDALA] STRETCHED Ears Season2 HUMAN
.Shi : Gavri'ela / Unisex
:: skin & makeup ::
fen v2 // pepe skins
winsome gloss // the mars
lxiv eyes // shimmershop
kintsugi eyeshadow // warpaint
:: set dressing ::
bull terrier // foxwood
kali 02 // lyrium
scattered autumn leaves // dad
// taken at old town
:: accessories ::
ballerina short nails // cazimi
coco's necklace // kibitz
manon earrings // orsini
cookies // dahlia
:: hair ::
melanie hair // doux
:: outfit ::
kathleen sweater // decoy
blakely jeans // cold ash
rebekah booties // reign
The Japanese art of celebrating beauty in the imperfect.
Wabi sabi suki -
"Wabi, sabi, and suki are important yet illusive concepts that explain the notion of Japanese beauty. Wabi denotes simplicity and quietude and incorporates rustic beauty, such as patterns found in straw, bamboo, clay, or stone. It refers to both that which is made by nature and that which is made by man. Sabi refers to the patina of age, the concept that changes due to use may make an object more beautiful and valuable. This incorporates an appreciation of the cycles of life and careful, artful mending of damage. Suki means subtle elegance referring to beauty in accidental creation or unconventional forms." by Patricia Ward
Listen: youtu.be/ZCu2gwLj9ok
Survival is weird.
Drawing from the process of Kintsugi, I’m giving myself:
Permission to be break and be broken//
Understanding that even when put together I won’t be the same again//
Acceptance, hope , celebration - that metamorphosis can be messy but in the chaos there will be structure and it will all come together eventually.
#NSPM20
This is my first official post as a blogger for .random.Matter. and I am so very happy to have been chosen to show off their gorgeous products.
some things on me:
.random.Matter. - Caithe Collar (coming soon to kustom9)
.random.Matter. - Lunar Freckles (group gift at their main store)
.random.Matter. - Natural Elfie Ears
.random.Matter. - Orianthi Nose Chain V2
DOUX - Cyanna Hairstyle
[Salem] The Countess // Maitreya
-SU!- Dagger Earrings
+ LUX AETERNA [The Throne's Halo]
[SC] Kintsugi Gold Omega+BoM v3
TOP1SALON - HD LASHY EYESHADOW
TF: Mort :: Veings :: With Mouth
-[TWC]- Wasn't an Antidote
Appearance
Body: Legacy Female Classic
Head: LeLUTKA Avalon Head 3.0
Skin: [Heaux] Soren - Snow
Eyes: AG. Enlightened Eyes
Hair: Stealthic - Rewind
Eyeshadow: -SU!- Tired Eyebags - Liner, WarPaint* Kintsugi eyeshadow, WarPaint* Utopia palette - metal accents (eyes) - gold
Lipstick:
Brows: -SU!- Aneira Eyebrows
Worn
Blazer: TETRA - Valerie Blazer
Skirt: Look At Me. Veronica : Skirt - redgreen
Turtle Neck: TETRA - Neva - Turtleneck (Black)
Earrings: e.marie // Trina Earrings - Golds
Backdrop: .PALETO.Backdrop: A.P. DU CAFE
Today is my father’s birthday and he would have been 74 years old in the way that us humans who still have bodies measure time. I know his consciousness still exists because he’s sent me signs and I had a visitation dream from him a few months ago. If I had met myself right now a year ago, I might not recognize the person I am today in many ways. But, I have accepted that to dismiss the idea that consciousness continues and that we live on this Earth for many lives is just arrogance. We cannot continue to demand proof for everything, either. That is also a form of arrogance. We have to open ourselves like a door to different possibilities. In any case, I can’t look back at the human I was. I have to move forward.
Still, it’s really hard to experience your first holidays and birthdays “without" a person you’ve known your whole life. It’s not just them that it feels like vanishes in your darkest moments but it’s also an aspect of yourself in a weird way. Everyone sees you and experiences moments with you that are unique and that helps you piece together what your identity is now and what it can become. We’re still all in this primordial mess, really, just trying to figure it all out. So it goes, as Kurt Vonnegut would say.
Also, your body knows the truth even if your heart believes consciousness still exists. In this case, my hair started falling out in long red strands. I still have a full head of hair but I feel like something is missing a little more each day.
My dad wasn’t a very easy person to be around when I was growing up, to be honest with you. He had a bad temper at times and it was best you avoided him when he was in a certain mood. There was a part of me that felt I could never live up to what he wanted me to be, especially in terms of my intelligence. I don’t think he ever realized that I felt this way, though, or maybe he didn’t understand how pervasive my thoughts about this were. I was and still am a very sensitive person. If someone is in a bad mood, I assume it’s my fault. I’ve had significant OCD symptoms since I was little and, because of this, I tend to play and replay interactions in my head, wondering what I could have done differently and perseverating on everything I did wrong. It’s hard for me to move past conflict because of this. My dad had this perception that if you didn’t do things his way, you were contradicting him on purpose or just flat out wrong without realizing fully how different brains can truly be. He didn’t seem to mind conflict (in fact, he seemed to thrive on it) and sometimes things I wasn’t even aware I was doing would set him off. Everyone has their “things” so to speak and rules they decide on in order to exist in a reality they consider reasonable and fair. That’s all I will say about that because I’ve accepted it in my own way.
My dad was also a highly intelligent, talented, progressive, and passionate person. I realized this when I actually sat down to write his Obituary in the summer. Making sense of a life-my life or another person’s life is laughable. We are just so complex. But, we still have to try. As a photographer, I was drawn to all of the photos of memories I had forgotten about with my dad I went through to put together for the service. I don’t have any brothers or sisters so I don’t have a comparison point for how my dad treated siblings. My mom just recently found this photo and it’s very much the age my dad appeared when he visited me in my dream and we were back in my first childhood home in the dining room. He was younger than I am now in the dream and I am still thinking about how absolutely absurd time seems.
What I found in these photos were moments of genuine love and acceptance, even if I wasn’t always aware of them at the time. I was always so stuck in my own head space. If I didn’t squeeze my toes every time I passed a yellow house, something bad was going to happen. If I didn’t tap my fingers every time a red truck went by, something bad was going to happen. If I told anyone why I was hysterically crying for seemingly no reason, something bad was going to happen. Must be, everyone felt like this and went through this, I thought. It was probably just a part of life anyway. I’m sure I wasn’t the easiest daughter. I always thought I was going to be poisoned or get gangrene or fall prey to some unexplained event because I didn’t do all the right things at all of the right times. That’s what having OCD is like for a child, by the way. And, keep in mind that if you know a child who seems melodramatic often, again they might not tell you why they are upset because they are too superstitious about it to do so. There’s an unexpected monster lurking around every corner. It always seems like there’s far more danger in the world than safety to us. Random and painful, life is coming for you. And as Douglas Adams said, “Life is wasted on the living.”
But what I actually just realized in the last few hours of my existence is that going through all of the photos, all of the memories, all of the things my dad wrote in his memoirs class (like when I flew out of a roller coaster at Canada’s Wonderland and he pulled me to him until the end of the ride) is a little like Kintsugi. We’re such broken beings and every day a little more cracked and aching. So, we have to do our best to piece it all back together and make sense of our life on Earth and our relationships. We can re-attach with twine or even lacquer or superglue but what we have left might transform completely from what we started with before we fell apart. I have fallen apart many times myself.
Isn’t it great that we can use Kintsugi with photos to put it all back together again? We’re going to continue to exist, no matter how hard it is. The world can feel like a bunch of noisy nonsense most days. Sometimes, we ask for more when we don’t deserve it or at least think we don’t. We are going to mend and try to make amends. We are going to make mistake after mistake after mistake and we are going to feel so sad about it in a way that feels relentless and we’re just going to keep crawling on our knees to find all of the missing pieces. It’s ok if we leave some of the pieces out when we reconstruct. Maybe we find them and maybe we don’t. Then, we look in the mirror and don’t recognize ourselves. Maybe that’s ok, too. But then we find ourselves in a photo all over again with someone we love and somehow in that moment things make sense again.
Happy Birthday, Dad!
**All photos and senseless rambles are copyrighted. So it goes**