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Over the years I have uploaded photos of my little girl. Some of you have watched her grow up. She graduates high school this year and is off to college in the fall. Don't blink.
Life continues to move on and I am now sixty…how did I get there so fast?…the reality is I have! I moved into my sixth decade of life earlier this year and it has given me a renewed outlook on my cross-dressing. I do have regrets in my life, the biggest being my self imposed suppression of my transgender self. Why did I hold back? The answer is I was not brave enough. I feared the reaction of others, I feared losing my family life and I feared losing my income. I just caved in and tried to ignore it.
Well, back in the year 2000, 19 tears ago, at the age of forty one I began to cross-dress as a woman. I could no longer suppress my inner desire to appear as a woman. It caused a lot of upset with my family and though I am now fortunate enough to engage in cross0dressing, it is a compromise in regard to the opportunities I have. My family tolerate it but my moments as my female alter-ego are rare. I have no wish to jeopardise my family life and work so I accepted the limited opportunities. I do adore becoming Helene and though it is rare it is always an amazing and rather emotional experience.
Now I am older and less hung up about my cross-dressing I find myself being more confident and at ease with it and having more fun when I do dress up as a woman. Last night I had a sudden opportunity to become Helene again ad I totally went for it. i was somewhat tired and not quite as focused as I would have liked, not to mention very much out of practice, but I intended to enjoy my time en femme.
Having emerged from the bath with freshly shaved, legs, chest and arms I enjoyed plucking my eyebrows into a better shape and excitedly sat down to start putting on my make-up. Part of my excitement was a new piece of equipment I purchased in December purely for my make-up application. I’m sure many of us struggle with getting a real world foundation coverage because of our beard shadows. The dreaded beard shadow , even after a super close shave, can feel smooth but the skin is bumpy due to the underlying hair follicles and this also leaves a visible shadow (unless you are fortunate enough to have light hair colour).
I usually employ all the techniques to neutralise the beard shadow cover then several layers of heavy foundation and can usually get a successful coverage result but it is rather heavy looking compared to real women. I had been looking into trying to get smoother coverage but without the thick layer result. On my male face after decades of shaving I could never get the look I hoped for ski coverage on my face.
I have new aspirations to spend more time out in the real world as a woman. I do love make-up and enjoy wearing it but to be amongst women and men in public in daylight had me wanting nice smooth makeup coverage that successfully disguised my shadows but did not look like a heavy coating on my face. As I say, I love wearing make-up and when I cross-dress in private I have no issue with wearing heavy coatings of foundation at all. For the real world though, I realised I need to up my game if I was to be perceived as a female when out and about.
This led me to look at applying foundation using an airbrush with a small air compressor. The look and finish from foundation applied with an airbrush is very good. I bought a kit and some silicone foundation for use with the airbrush and I have been biding my time to give it a go.
Last night was my chance. I set it all p, watched the manufacturers tutorials and set about spraying the foundation onto my face. It is a very different feel to the traditional method of applying foundation. It is a far more subtle approach. as you gradually build up the coverage using a light misted spray and moving in small circular motions.
I had to laugh when I began as I soon realised this required a degree of practice and my initial spraying efforts were somewhat inept. I was getting the hang of it but I definitely need a lot more practice and..patience! You cannot rush it. I think once one gets competent with it it is possible to apply the foundation considerably faster than my first effort.
Despite my poor technique I was amazed by the coverage, your skin looks amazing! It’s like a flexible, durable, long lasting coverage but none of the thick make up appearance. My skin is unavoidably bumpy around my upper lip, cheeks, chin and neck area but this cover was unlike any previous efforts and the realisation that this was going to work for real world trips in public made me dizzy with excitement. Even on m y sixty year old skin it was as smooth as I was ever going to look.
I bought the Airbase HD kit, which is bigger than I expected. In hindsight I may have been better with the compressor and airbrush alone. The HD kit comes in a se with a lighted mirror. There are alternative kits from other manufacturers such as DInair and Luminess.
If you are serious about trying to look female and avoiding the heavy coverage look during the day then I can recommend using airbrush foundation application. I will admit I have decided to book myself onto a one day training course in the late Spring in order to learn how to use it well. As I am obsessed with trying to look as female as I possibly can I think the cost of the training is a god personal investment as was purchasing the airbrush kit.
I took a lot of selfies last night and one accompanies this narrative. It was rather fabulous to be appearing as a woman once more :-)
Have been busy working and looking after cats that I have neglected flickr so here is a Critter update for all those missing him :-) ....you know who you are lol
I will catch up with commenting on your posts.
The view from St James Station, looking straight up the Clarence River Valley, Northern Canterbury.
At 230km long, the Clarence is NZ's 8th-longest river.
This shingle road (Tophouse Rd.) will eventually lead you to Lake Tennyson, a small glacial lake on the eastern edge of Nelson Lakes National Park.
And if you were suitably equipped and skilled (and mad!), you could continue on this road until you reached Nelson...!
Brighton
Rolleiflex 3.5C and Ilford HP5 Plus, developed in HC-110 dilution H for 9 mins and 30 sec at 23C.
I got to do a big project on a CP Lishe ^^
It's actually a project that I did before. Maybe you remember this girl with her facial leopard tattoo.
But the face-up got damaged a little while ago, and my friend asked if I could do it again, plus some extras.
I redid the leopard print on the face and even made it smaller and more detailed. And the print now also goes from her neck to her lower back.
I also did a tattoo on her arm. It was so tiny!!
It's actually an illustration I made of another doll's character.
The character is called Neobe, and is a doll of another friend.
The doll in the photos (Mylo), and Neobe are lovers, so Mylo really needed a tattoo of her sweetheart on her arm haha ;)
UP #5702 leads a manifest along Roseville Road past the Sacramento Regional Transit base of operations on the opposite side of the tracks.
I met Rahul again, new pictures coming soon. I photographed him one year ago, view also last years picture:
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© Marcos Duarte
Há quem passe e deixe só cicatrizes,
Há quem passe banhando-nos em lágrimas,
Há quem passe aplaudindo nossos fracassos.
Há quem passe fazendo-nos cair.
Há quem passe como sombra,
Há quem passe como pedra no caminho,
Há quem para todo deslize veja uma falha
irreparável,
Há quem ignore nossos erros,
Há quem passe rápido, veloz, despercebido,
Há quem simplesmente passe,
Há quem passe pela vida,
Há quem passe semeando flores.
Há quem passe disposto a secá-las.
Há quem passe torcendo por nossa vitória,
Há quem passe ajudando-nos a levantar,
Há quem passe como luz.
Há quem passe como pedra de construção.
Há quem nos ofereça o perdão.
Há quem nos ajude a corrigir.
Há quem deixe marcas profundas.
Há quem fique para sempre
Mas, há quem não deixe a vida passar
( R.C. Suppi )
"A verdadeira função do homem é viver, não existir.
Eu não gastarei meus dias tentando prolonga-los.
Eu usarei meu tempo.
O medo mata todos os outros sentimentos "
(Jack London)
UP 8828, classified by UP as an SD70AH, is a heavier version of the SD70ACe for increased tractive effort. Seen here with a UP stack train heading north at Sandcut, CA, with two SD70Ms.
16 March 2014.
ML_20140316_0845br
A rather unexpected first UK butterfly photo of 2025 features as my 400th post in the Butterflies and Moths album.
It is a Wood White photographed at the only site where the species is found in Dorset, Lyme Regis. Due to the clement spring weather, they have emerged about three weeks earlier than average so I was keen to get down there as their flight period is quite short.
Butterflies of Dorset # 43
Model: Angelique van Dinter
MUA: Merve Kilickaya
Hairdresser: Aycha Jaiisz
Location: Koninklijke Luchtmacht Historische Vlucht
A SP Patch equipped with dual shields, chugs through Baldwin with westbound manifest PRVP. The SD70M was dead so 6193 was giving it all she had.
This barefoot moppet providing her own entertainment at the "Wednesdays on the Wharf" summer entertainment in Salmon Arm
WEEK 22 – Clarksdale Kroger Closing, Set I
Here's a closer-up shot of the greenhouse itself, as we prepare to head inside in a moment or two. It's interesting – I don't think I've come across any two greenhouse Krogers with the exact same entryway setup! This store's entrance doors are located beneath the right side of the greenhouse; obviously, the left side is otherwise occupied, as you can tell from those white walls blocking off the space. A little bit later on, we'll see what it was being used for at the time, and also get an idea of its original purpose.
Kroger (now closed) // 870 S State St, Clarksdale, MS 38614
(c) 2018 Retail Retell
These places are public so these photos are too, but just as I tell where they came from, I'd appreciate if you'd say who :)
For this 5 second exposure of an escalator in motion I placed my camera and tripod on a step and let them ride up while the shutter was open. The result was escalator steps that appear to be stationary (while moving they were still in relation to the camera) and motion blur to the surroundings.
The lights to either side of the steps are actually evenly spaced rectangular fixtures. Due to the motion effect they appear to be one solid bar of light.
Photo taken in downtown Los Angeles, CA (USA).