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I thought I got there too late. My feet were placed squarely on the blacktop parking lot at one of my favorite soul places, a space I have been to recently but haven’t been to, ever, to simply be and write.
Sam and I used to come here during his home school day to collect wood and explore and we still come here so he can ride on the tire swing and we can throw rocks into the river. We have explored the area fully and know it pretty well from those moments, but I wanted to come to know this place intimately by connecting to it quietly, with my body connected to its body, my soul connected mindfully to its center.
The autumn-colored leaves I would kick away from the foot path were long gone, returned to the Earth. Their crunchy selves had surrendered completely and I had missed that process.
Then I stepped into a spot off the path, by a small stream to sit and write and I realized I hadn’t missed the process at all. I stepped onto what looked like Earth and instead, I was stepping into a pile of leaves that was choosing to merge with the soil. My choice to take a moment or two or sixty to be in a space of quiet soulfulness was graciously allowing me to become a part of the process, too.
I discovered how deeply they had piled themselves up, creating a soft sofa and pillows just for me so that I could sit upon them and experience them, their luscious returning-to-dirt-scent. They seemed to giggle as I sat down with my paper and pink notepaper and trusty black mirado warrior and started to move it, contentedly, along the page.
In that moment it was as if the leaves hugged me, welcoming my reality to rise up and meet my longing, leftover from months ago when I was in a time of profound sadness, a time when I wasn’t able to settle into their crackly, crisp newly fallen selves. Instead, I got to sit upon their softened not quite moist selves.
It was then that I heard the unsurrendered leaves, the ones still on the trees that pushed against one another, applauding my return. It is like those leaves held on, bravely, past their amber-golden time to their withered crusty selves so I could hear my message.
Divinity says, “Be with me. Trust. Follow my lead. Don’t try so hard, but do know the strategy that works best, beloved one.”
I felt an exclamation point rise up as two trucks rumbled past and the wind blew and suddenly I was aware that my stomach was telling me of its hunger.
The exclamation was part celebration as I heard the words “Beloved one!” and knew Divinity meant me.
I sat, still, for a moment, just being with the leaves and the trees and the water. I heard a frog singing her song. I smiled in gratitude.
I wrote:
Sometimes surrender comes quickly and sometimes the holding on, like the crusty withered leaves held on, is the surrender. It is in the unknowing of whether or not its right or wrong and being ok with it no matter which way the judgment or comparison lands that holds the power of truth.
Today, do I go deeper? I asked. Do I go further on the path, closer to the larger parts of the river, or did I get what I was supposed to get here, on my leaves-turning-to-dirt sofa.
I smelled the leaves below me, supporting me. I heard the wind play my ears like a drum and the grass and leaves pirouetting and doing a grande jete or many grande jetes. I watched a plane use the air as a mattress. A man with a grey covered hood covering his head and speckled deck shoes covering his feet walked silently behind my surrendered leaf throne.
SUVs and pick up trucks a stone’s throw away rumbled past, separated by steel from all this wonder right here, oh so close.
Did any of the drivers or passengers capture the bright pink of my shirt out of the corner of their eye, strikingly out of context in this place I sat, deeply entrenched in awe?
It doesn’t matter whether they do or do not, but I prayed for each of them anyway.
I realized then that although I hadn’t gone deeper on the path, I had gone deeper.
My heart was swollen with joy.
I wasn’t too late. I was right on time.
Set from another engine built with processing from processing.org. This engine essencially rotates some geometry in 3D space while painting with particles at it's vertices.
Day 128 [5-7-2016]
An abandoned tour! My job allows for me to do many things. One of which getting to explore abandoned property and take photos of it with my friends. My dad took us to a huge abandoned factory which turned out to be absolutely beautiful. After our abandoned adventure we set off on our own adventure to a large camera store north of Boston which had so much more than we were expecting. We went up to the Sony booth and tried out all of the new G Master lenses along with some of the others that Scott and I have been fanboying over for quite some time. We are both avid Sony users but don't own a single Sony lens which is something that needs to change soon. Luckily more and more Sony lenses are being released so owning one is becoming closer to a reality. We ended our night with a few beautiful long exposure locations and ending the night on an earlier note than we have been for the past few nights. All this adventuring has been fantastic and such a great experience. Being back home is so much better than I could have ever hoped.
Can't wait to see what the next day brings!
Part of our Flickr group weekly challenge. To process and/or manipulate a picture supplied by the previous winner in the group.
Original picture is Here:
www.flickr.com/photos/24506073@N06/5156608487/
Decided to do a slightly different crop, Mainly cause those lights are so cool.
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Using Peter Kirkeskov Rasmussen's photo 'return the cart' as the source [ www.flickr.com/photos/peterras/15732813631 ] & a bit of Processing code to swaps blocks of pixels inside the image continually . . . the little app creates decay in the image. I'm continuing a series of works meditating on forgetting, recognition, loss, avoidance, etc.
Some sketches for Ticonderoga Publications' limited edition of Angela Slatter's collection Black-Winged Angels: ticonderogapublications.com/index.php/our-books/184-black...
Made with Processing.
Using edge detection and random walk to generate an old, grungy photo. I like the way it draws not only the outlines but also some areas.
Inspired by www.openprocessing.org/sketch/59807, but I didn't checked his code.
Code:
www.openprocessing.org/sketch/61722
Video:
Photo:
Train station of Hildesheim, taken in 2011 by me.
Ektachrome 100 from 1995, Zenith E (1980 Olympics model), Görlitz Lydith 30mm lens. Film acceleration process.
Little recoding. Trying to figure out why the particles got so spastic when near the shell of the central orb in older builds. Think I fixed it and to show the stability, threw a couple hundred particles into the space to see what architectural forms they would create.
Trying out alternative processes.
This is a new print of an image previously uploaded to flickr, this time made with home-made gum-bichromate paper. I rather like this process: it has the advantages that I am using "real" paint on "real" paper, and the process is rather forgiving in the problems of coating the paper evenly. The main down-side is obtaining the dichromate and using it safely. Details appear in my blog at cameramods.blogspot.com/2011/08/gum-bichromate.html .
Sinar Norma, 4x5. Contact print onto textured paper.
// HACKPACT
// Showcase of 20 brief experiments (sound machines) we coded during november (MMXI).
// All of them explore the sound/graphic co-relation.
// Built with Processing and almost all of the audio with SuperCollider
// More info/detail about our codes here: www.realitat.com/HACKPACT
sweet things to come once i have > 10 minutes.