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A box of Kleenex: $20, Tub of Ben & Jerry's, $30, Playing "(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight" for the hundredth time: priceless.
November 1, 2010
Happy November! :)
Okay, so I cheated on this photo. I didn't take it today. It was taken this past weekend. This photo was the result of my photography quiz, and I really wanted it part of this album. :) So, please excuse my cheating-ness. In more ways than one? Hahaha!
I started working on my Nia wig today! It's taking a helluva lot long than I expected... x.x 3 hours my ass... I'll be working on this tomorrow!
A photo from approximately one lifetime ago. This was after my initial forays into 365 projects but before I had some successful runs at this in the 2010's on Instagram.
I look spotted like a leopard or a cheetah. I love the sun coming in my window.
from ift.tt/2inbM8Z
Firsts by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
This book was good, but it wasn’t. That may not be obvious since I rated it so low. Firsts tackled some tough subjects, but it didn’t really do so in a great or helpful way. I honestly wonder if it may have done more harm than good. The intention of the author, much like the intention of the main character Mercedes Ayres, was probably a good one at heart, but, as the proverb goes, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions cannot fix what is truly wrong with this book.
I understand the attempt to soften the approach people take to cheating and slut-shaming, but it doesn’t actually achieve that. Instead, it pushes those stereotypes even further and dismisses criminal behavior as seduction and bad parenting. Luke is portrayed as the former boyfriend, while the behavior described is clearly sexually abusive. He groomed Mercedes before forcing her to perform oral sex on him and before eventually raping her. Charlie’s actions are not really any better. Filming a person having sex without their consent is illegal. Trying to physically force someone to have sex with you is illegal. Attempting to blackmail someone over their sex life is, you guessed it, illegal. But the author chooses to say that Charlie was trying to “seduce” Mercedes. No, that’s not seduction. Those are acts of sexual violence. Kim is an emotionally abusive and emotionally & physically neglectful mother, and Mercedes’ absentee father who decided to punish Mercedes for her mom’s decisions isn’t much better. Kim is portrayed as a slut and a bimbo who only cares about spending the ill-gotten gains of her ex-husband. It’s the kind of storyline that you might get from websites run by “men’s rights activists” and MGTOW. Faye is the supposed-to-be-subtle-but-really-isn’t cautionary tale. Zach is the night-in-shining armor. Angela is the good girl, the girl with the patience of a saint and who is let back into Mercy’s life too easily. Mercedes is the fallen girl/girl gone bad who takes on the sins of all those involved & is nearly ruined in the process. She is constantly obsessing over what side she should show others, which is something that a lot of people feel, but it was never really addressed in the book. Yes, there’s the whole, her mom screwed up how she thinks about sex, beauty, weight, etc., but that’s not enough to explain why she is so hyper-critical and why she is convinced that she is unlovable. And if you’re going to spend a whole book tearing down the main character’s self-esteem, then you need to spend more than a couple of pages making her act like she’s all-better all of a sudden.
Sometimes it came across as preachy. No, wait, it always came across as preachy. The sex lives of most of the characters in the book are regularly criticized. Angela, Mercy’s BFF, is super-religious and pushes her faith onto everyone. (There are even Bible verses that are quoted and referenced.) Her sex-negative attitude only pushes Mercy to hide her actions. Kim’s antics seem to push the idea that adultery leads women to even more vice-filled lives. Mercy’s internal dialogue about how many guys she’s had sex with pushed the idea that girls & women who have ‘too much’ sex might be seen as used up goods. The outcome at school for Mercedes pushes the idea that women and girls have to be punished for being sexual.
When Mercedes describes how she feels about sex and intimacy, even when she sometimes thinks she’s attracted to Faye, it’s almost like reading a pamphlet on sex addiction. Honestly, I was a bit disappointed by the way that her pseudo-attraction to Faye was handled. I know that with sex addiction, a person might engage in sex with people that they aren’t really attracted to, but the whole “is she going to kiss me” thing that existed through most of their interactions was just shrugged away toward the end. I didn’t know if Mercedes was only thinking about Faye that way because she really doesn’t understand relationship boundaries or if she might not be as heterosexual as she eventually felt the need to declare she was. Sex addiction or figuring out that you’re LGBTQ might be an interesting topic to cover in a novel, but it needs to be addressed in a better way.
Come to think of it: all of the issues that are described within the book need to be addressed properly.
In attempting to counter the sex-negativity that people, especially women and girls, encounter in their lives, the book actually pushed an even more sex-negative outlook. The book essentially normalized sexual violence, parental neglect, and shaming young women for being interested in sex. That’s why I don’t think I could ever truly love this book. It almost seemed like a book I could like until it became clear that it was just another in a long line of anti-sex books with ambiguous attitudes toward abuse and sexual assault. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.
View all my reviews
Related Posts:
Review: Anatomy of a Single Girl November 6, 2014
Review: Anatomy of a Boyfriend October 30, 2014
Review: The Proposition January 8, 2015
Review: Citizen Girl October 20, 2012
Review: Because of Low April 6, 2015
I want to do full on photos of all my quilts (or at least the ones I've kept), so I got creative with some swing sets at the park and some binder clips.
I have more appreciation for this quilt now that it's washed up and crinkly. I'm very much in love with the texture created by the tight quilting, and really enjoy the optical illusion this quilt gives me of some portions receding and others popping forward.
Everything in this quilt came from stash.Binding used up strips leftover from the front, as did the backing.
"I came to Leeds about seven years ago. I wanted to run away from my boyfriend who I found out was cheating on me. I was so angry at the time, I didn’t want to see him again and around that time I had an opportunity to come here, so I took it. My loneliest moment was when I first arrived, my anger towards my boyfriend had subsided, but I was all alone without any friends or family. It was hard to settle initially, I was attacked by a group of people for being foreign and I thought I had made the wrong choice.”
“Was it the wrong choice?”
“No, I believe everything happens for a reason and all this happened to make me a stronger person. I never really believed in myself before, but I think you find out how strong you actually are when bad things happen to you. I had to put myself together, find a job and start a new chapter in my life. Now, I have an amazingly busy life, a gorgeous, clever little boy and a huge bunch of friends who I can rely on”
“What are your feelings towards your ex now?”
“I forgave him and we are actually good friends now. I told him once that if he hadn’t cheated on me I would never have forced myself to go abroad, and so I thanked him.”
Cheat Lake is located in Morgantown WV. This was taken while on Mont Chateau Road. This image was photoshop enhanced for my enjoyment.
Feeding is such hard work, sometimes you need to cheat a little! He's standing on the top bar of my garden bench. Now that I can see the bird more clearly, I have discovered that it is a juvenile male and not a female as I first thought!
Carte de visite by S.J. Thompson & Co. of Albany, N.Y. The perils and pitfalls of Victorian romance are front and center in this portrait of two couples. The brooding and reflective young lover, the smiling and hopeful suitor, the demure object of their affection and the spurned woman in the background tell a story of passion and intrigue.
I encourage you to use this image for educational purposes only. However, please ask for permission.