View allAll Photos Tagged ReCollection
c1910 postcard view of the Southern Indiana Railroad (S. I.)car repair shop at Bedford, Indiana. The 1910 Sanborn™ fire insurance map set for Bedford shows the S. I. facilities in an area some distance north of Fourth Street where it intersected “H,” “I” and “J” streets. The Perry-Matthews-Buskirk Stone Company and Henry Struble Cut Stone Company were just north of the S. I. facilities. The S. I. “Car and Woodwork Shop” building was surrounded by other related buildings. All of these were concrete block construction. The 1922 map set shows the same facilities with the name changed to Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway Shops.
The 1922 map set also shows the Consolidated Stone Company just north of where Fourth Street is located today. This was just south of the S. I. facilities. The long, narrow building sitting north of Fourth Street today was the main Consolidated Stone Company building. The car shop and the other S. I. buildings, including the round house, are gone, having been replaced by the GM Powertrain plant.
The stacks of lumber and the woodworking machinery in this scene show just how much wood was used in building the railroad cars back then. When the 1922 map set was being published, this building was labeled the “Carpenter Shop” and “Sawing and Planing Machinery” still occupied the building. The arched entrance beside the car in the background shows how the cars were moved into the building for repair work.
From a private collection.
A close-up section of this postcard image can be seen here.
www.flickr.com/photos/hoosier_recollections/34976377782/i...
Copyright 2003-2017 Hoosier Recollections. All rights reserved. This creative JPG file package is an original compilation of materials and data. The package is unique, consisting of a wide variety of related and integrated components. Neither this package in its entirety nor any of the individual components may be downloaded, transmitted or reproduced without the prior written permission of Hoosier Recollections.
RolleiFlex : FUJIFILM NEOPANN ACROS100
生まれたての緑は
空に向かい大きく呼吸していた
今年の春には眩しくて美しい藤の花を咲かせるのだろう。
【Recollection】 1/1~2/15
アイランドギャラリー沖縄さんにて展示しております。http://sesoko.ti-da.net/
Something different for the TOY (Re)collections show at LULUBELL toy Bodega in Tuscon Arizona. The concept of this show is for artists to create work that reflects their early memory of toys and what influenced them to become toy designers. I chose to illustrate the oft-told tale of when I was nine and tried to make a mold of my Greedo figure out of a bar of soap and then cast in in melted Green crayon.
The show is Saturday, June 5th
from 6-9PM
Lulubell Toy Bodega
439 N. 6th Avenue, Suite 187
Tucson, AZ 85705
RECOLLECTIONS OF OLD HOBART
THE POST OFFICE BLOCK. (By G. W. Rex.)
Noticing at different times accounts of old Hobart, the writer thought it might be interesting to put down from his own recollections and from mention in publications of early days some account of the buildings in the block at the corner of which the Post Office now stands, their occupants, and their history. The writer may claim to have had a particularly large intimate connection with this part of Hobart, since his business hours have been spent in it for the last 54 years, from January, 1857, down to the present time. But his first acquaintance with it dates even further back than that, and man's allotted span of three score years and ten has passed since he was taken, very young indeed, to the house of Mrs. Seal, which in the forties stood, as is mentioned below, where "The Mercury" office is now built. This is, of course, one of the oldest parts of Hobart, though not the very oldest. In a plan made in 1811, seven years after the settlement, the streets bounding it are shown with their present names. Collins-street is, of course, named after Colonel David Collins, Lieut.-Governor from 1804 till his death in-1810. Macquarie-street was so named by Governor Macquarie, after himself. Elizabeth-street was called after his wife and Argyle-street after his native county of that name in Scotland. It would be desirable, by the way, if someone did for Tasmania what has been done for South Australia, and gave us the origin as far as can be ascertainable of our place names. It may be anticipated, however, that it would be something of a labour of love, and that the circulation of the work would not be large. The first Government House stood opposite the Commercial Bank, and the ball-room on the other side of this block, about where the entrance to the Town-hall is now. This was built of wood, the timber being cut by nine Government sawyers employed by Collins from the trees which in those days grew thick and tall along the Hobart Rivulet. Elizabeth-street terminated at Macquarie-street, and when old Government House was pulled down the street was extended to the wharf. It is said that the first private house in Hobart was a hut built by Lieut. Lord, a little higher up, near where Macquarie House now stands. Coming down to a somewhat later date, there stood in the forties on the site now occupied by the General Post Office the residence of David Lord, father of the late John and James Lord, but a distinct family from that ot Lieutenant Lord. The house had a neat flower garden in front, where Mrs. Lord was often to be seen in the morning watering her garden. After her death the house was occupied by Mr. John Lord and his family. Next door to Mr. Lord's, where "The Mercury" office now stands was the residence of Mr. Charles Seal, merchant and shipowner. His son, the late Matthew Seal, was chairman of the Fisheries Board, and died at the Great Lake while on a salmon fishing trip. The house was afterwards occupied by Mr. George Burn, auctioneer, and others. Adjoining this is the old "Mercury" printing establishment, still in the possession of Messrs. Davies Bros. Limited, and used as a store, etc. On this spot, in very early days, the business of the Bank of Australasia was started, and the word "Bank." in gold letters, is still visible over the blocked-up old-entrance. Later on it was used as the residence of Mr. John Moore, printer, and then as a boarding-house kept by a family of the name of Jones. At the back of this was a yard, abutting on which were the "Herald" and the ''Guardian" printing office, and a tinsmith's workshop. In June, 1854, the late Mr. John Davies, M.H.A., purchased the printing office, and the newspaper, and altered the latter's name to ''The Mercury," which it has borne ever since. About 1852 three shops were built in the front, and occupied by Mr. R. J. Edwards, tobacconist (who previously had a shop in Liverpool street, and was burnt out by the large fire which raged between Wellington Bridge and Messrs. Brownell Bros.), Mr. Ellis Williams, tinsmith, and Mr. W. Hissey, a taxidermist and hairdresser. At the corner of Argyle and Macquarie streets in the building now known as Norman's Coffee Palace, but then called Ingloehall, after Mr. Ingle, who at one time owned a large portion of this square, a school, the nucleus of the present Hutchins School, was conducted by the Rev.J. R. Buck land, who afterwards became head master of Hutchins School. Before this the building had been occupied by Messrs. R. Lewis and Sons as a drapery establishment. Like most of the very old buildings, it stands a little back from the street, and is probably one of the oldest buildings still standing in this block. A little later Mr. W. Robertson, who had previously had a draper's shop in Elizabeth-street, where Mr. Cumming's shop now is, moved to this house, out he afterwards went to Victoria, and settled at Colac. The writer remembers two Norfolk Island pines which grew in front of Ingle-hall, being taken up and replanted in front of St. Andrew's Church, Bathurst-street, where they are still growing. Turning to Argyle-street, the first place was an oil and colour warehouse occupied by Mr. O. H. Hedberg. Mr. Hedberg, who was a Swede by birth, and a man of great strength and energy, was also superintendent of the Fire Brigade, and the Tasmanian Fire Insurance Company's manual fire engine was kept on his premises. The buildings next to these were occupied by Mr. James Burdon, coach-builder. They are still used for the same purpose, being occupied by Vout, Chisholm, and Co. The place at the corner of Argyle and Collins streets was occupied by Mr. Alex. Gellie, merchant and corn-dealer. Later on Mr. Guillois, a Frenchman, carried on the mattress-making business on these premises, and at his death Mr. Mangan, who still carries it on, took over the business. In part of the same premises in Collins-street Mr. R. Sawyer had a boot and shoe establishment. This part of the town was then something of an educational centre, for the next place up Collins-Street was a children's school, kept by Mrs. Metheringham. Next to her Mr. Alex. Fraser, who was also superintendent of the Melville street Wesleyan Sunday school, carried on business as a coach builder. Later on he went to Melbourne, and finally became Minister for Lands and Works in Victoria. His business here was taken over by Mr. J. McPherson, but later on the place was bought by Mr. G. S. Crouch, who carried on the business of an auctioneer there. The building next to this has had a very varied history. In those days it was used as auctioneering premises, and as such occupied by Messrs. Lowes and Macmichael, then by Mr. T. Y. Lowes, and then by Messrs. Brent and Westbrook. After this Mr. Daniel Graham carried on business there as a grocer and tea dealer. When he retired the place was renovated, and turned into a dancing saloon, called "the Polytechnic." It then reverted for a time to auctioneering uses under Mr. Thomas Westbrook and finally became the office of the "Tasmanian News." Where the building now occupied by Mr. Nettlefold stands there was in those days a gable ended building. To this Messrs. Ferguson and Co. at a later date built a front and carried on a wine and spirit business there. Before long building and front alike will probably be things of the past. On the corner where tho A.M.P. Society's buildings now stand were the stores of Messrs. L. Stevenson and Sons, drapery importers (in whose office Sir Philip Fysh and his brother were accountants), and occupied the place. Later on they moved to where Tattersalls now stands. Horwitz and Marks then occupied it, and Mr. J. G. Parker succeeded them on the corner. His business was that of a general importer, and there was also a bark mill near by. The building was a very old one, and, stood back a few yards from the footpath ; finally the A.M.P. Society bought it, and erected their present premises. Next door, in Elizabeth-street, was a small tailor's shop, occupied by a Mr. Capurn, who hailed from Lincolnshire. After him it was occupied successively by John Dean (baker and store), Messrs. Boyle Robertson Patey (agent), Robin Hood (picture-frame maker), and W. Le grand (old book-dealer), and finally became a tea-room. The place next-door was an upholstery and cabinet warehouse, occupied by Mr. Leonard Pear| son. After his death Mr. Henry Hopkins; jun. (son of Henry Hopkins, who built Westella, and is said to have been the first to export Tasmanian wool) carried on business as a machinery importer there. The place was afterwards purchased by Mr. James Robb, saddler, who still occupies it. Next door to this Mr. M. Fitzgerald had a tailoring business which afterwards passed to Mr. Henry Cook. and is still carried on by his son. It is interesting to notice that on this spot there stood, in still earlier days according to J. H. Walker's Early Tasmania, the Derwent Hotel, which was in its time the best inn in the town, and was kept by Mr. William Thomas Stocker, who was appointed by Lieut.-Governor Collins captain of the night watch soon after the first settlement of Hobart. Down Lord's Lane (now known as Cook's Lane) was a third-class educational establishment, a select academy and boarding-school for young gentlemen, conducted by Mr. Henry Wolff, the father of Mrs. George Levy, who is still a resident of Hobart. In addition to this, there were in the lane buildings occupied by Mr. C. E. Wilmot (registrar of births), Mr. J. Gill (solicitor, father of the late Mr. J. W. Gill), and other tenements and stables At the corner of Lord's Lane facing Elizabeth-street, stood Mrs. Gilford's choice silk, satin, and drapery establishment. Later on, Mr. McGregor used this as an office, and ultimately it, together with Lord's corner with which we began our catalogue, was bought as a site for the now Post Office. This fine building, which now adorns the city, is of course of very recent origin, the foundation stone having been laid on July 6, 1901, by our present King, George V., then Duke of York.
NLA Reference trove.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/article/10070110
A wonderful collection designed by Katarina Roccella for Art Gallery Fabrics. The colors are so unusual and amazing at the same time!
At the beginning of the year I started to make something with these pretties and I hope that soon I will have opportunity to finish it.
Uncle Walters recollections and photographs (See rest of set for more info)
This is the Tiergarten. It was here they used to have a big black market. Did I tell you about that Russian officer I picked up? I was in the Russian Zone, this was when you could go into the Russian Zone. I can’t remember what I was doing there, but I was on me way out, by myself. And this Russian flagged me down like. He was quite a decent sort of bloke, I think he might have been in the airforce. I stopped and he said “Alexanderplaatz”, it was in the Russian Sector, near where Checkpoint Charlie was later on. I picked him up and I was driving down there, and I didn’t know where the bloody hell I was going! I was a bit lost! Anyway I was driving down and there was this big notice up, on the side of a building. I couldn’t understand it, it was in Russian! He says “Ahh! Alexanderplaatz, that way.” So I carried on down, and we came to another one, “Alexanderplaatz!” So we got to Alexanderplaatz, and I knew where we was from then. Then he said “Brandenburg Gate?” So I says “Oh yeah, righto.” We was driving down there, and it was quite nice. We were sort of talking. The little bit of German that I knew, plus a little English he knew, it was going well! “Hey Tommee, Churchill, very good!” So I said “Stalin, very good!” “Tommee, very good!” So we were shaking hands and all that. When I got to the Brandenburg Gate, he got out, and that was where he was going, the black market!
Did you need passes to get into the different zones then?
No, we just drove into the zones. I did go into the American Zone, but I didn’t have much to do with the French Zone, and we used to do quite a bit in the Russian Zone, until things started going wrong.
This one job we had, we had to go to Spandau railhead, and these wagon loads of potatoes come in. And these German
civilians, they just loaded the potatoes in the back of our wagons with shovels, so they were all loose, and we’d pile them up. And then we used to go in convoy, probably about four or five of us, with a corporal in charge. When we’d go round a corner potatoes would fall off the back of the wagons, and these kids out there, they were picking the potatoes up! They got it so that they had a stick you see, and as we went past they used it to knock the potatoes off! It was dangerous, but I don’t think anybody got hurt.
The thing was, we used to take them all over the place, and this one place was in the Russian Zone, a depot of some kind. We just drove into a yard, and tipped the potatoes out and off we went. But there was one convoy went, with a corporal in charge, and the corporal got out and went to find out where they’d got to go. Of course the kids were helping themselves to these potatoes, and when the wagons did drive in, and tip their loads, the Russians closed the bloody gates, locked them, and wouldn’t let them out! They said they were selling their potatoes to the Germans. So they were stuck there for two or three days. Course when they got out the corporal was on a charge, but he wasn’t selling them at all. The Russians were like that.
There was another one. It was somewhere around about the Brandenburg Gate, and he was driving into the Russian Zone, and a Russian soldier stopped him. They used to carry machine guns, and obviously he stopped. They made him get out, and when he got out they got in and drove the bloody thing off! That’s the sort of things they used to do! This was when it started to turn sour, then of course they stopped us from going in the Russian Sector, but before that we used to drive straight through there.
“The human brain is like a railroad freight car -- guaranteed to have a certain capacity but often running empty.”
Recollections of a Visit to Leningrad, 1965. Oil on canvas (1922-1993) Private collection. Crocker Art Museum
RECOLLECTIONS OF OLD HOBART
THE POST OFFICE BLOCK. (By G. W. Rex.)
Noticing at different times accounts of old Hobart, the writer thought it might be interesting to put down from his own recollections and from mention in publications of early days some account of the buildings in the block at the corner of which the Post Office now stands, their occupants, and their history. The writer may claim to have had a particularly large intimate connection with this part of Hobart, since his business hours have been spent in it for the last 54 years, from January, 1857, down to the present time. But his first acquaintance with it dates even further back than that, and man's allotted span of three score years and ten has passed since he was taken, very young indeed, to the house of Mrs. Seal, which in the forties stood, as is mentioned below, where "The Mercury" office is now built. This is, of course, one of the oldest parts of Hobart, though not the very oldest. In a plan made in 1811, seven years after the settlement, the streets bounding it are shown with their present names. Collins-street is, of course, named after Colonel David Collins, Lieut.-Governor from 1804 till his death in-1810. Macquarie-street was so named by Governor Macquarie, after himself. Elizabeth-street was called after his wife and Argyle-street after his native county of that name in Scotland. It would be desirable, by the way, if someone did for Tasmania what has been done for South Australia, and gave us the origin as far as can be ascertainable of our place names. It may be anticipated, however, that it would be something of a labour of love, and that the circulation of the work would not be large. The first Government House stood opposite the Commercial Bank, and the ball-room on the other side of this block, about where the entrance to the Town-hall is now. This was built of wood, the timber being cut by nine Government sawyers employed by Collins from the trees which in those days grew thick and tall along the Hobart Rivulet. Elizabeth-street terminated at Macquarie-street, and when old Government House was pulled down the street was extended to the wharf. It is said that the first private house in Hobart was a hut built by Lieut. Lord, a little higher up, near where Macquarie House now stands. Coming down to a somewhat later date, there stood in the forties on the site now occupied by the General Post Office the residence of David Lord, father of the late John and James Lord, but a distinct family from that ot Lieutenant Lord. The house had a neat flower garden in front, where Mrs. Lord was often to be seen in the morning watering her garden. After her death the house was occupied by Mr. John Lord and his family. Next door to Mr. Lord's, where "The Mercury" office now stands was the residence of Mr. Charles Seal, merchant and shipowner. His son, the late Matthew Seal, was chairman of the Fisheries Board, and died at the Great Lake while on a salmon fishing trip. The house was afterwards occupied by Mr. George Burn, auctioneer, and others. Adjoining this is the old "Mercury" printing establishment, still in the possession of Messrs. Davies Bros. Limited, and used as a store, etc. On this spot, in very early days, the business of the Bank of Australasia was started, and the word "Bank." in gold letters, is still visible over the blocked-up old-entrance. Later on it was used as the residence of Mr. John Moore, printer, and then as a boarding-house kept by a family of the name of Jones. At the back of this was a yard, abutting on which were the "Herald" and the ''Guardian" printing office, and a tinsmith's workshop. In June, 1854, the late Mr. John Davies, M.H.A., purchased the printing office, and the newspaper, and altered the latter's name to ''The Mercury," which it has borne ever since. About 1852 three shops were built in the front, and occupied by Mr. R. J. Edwards, tobacconist (who previously had a shop in Liverpool street, and was burnt out by the large fire which raged between Wellington Bridge and Messrs. Brownell Bros.), Mr. Ellis Williams, tinsmith, and Mr. W. Hissey, a taxidermist and hairdresser. At the corner of Argyle and Macquarie streets in the building now known as Norman's Coffee Palace, but then called Ingloehall, after Mr. Ingle, who at one time owned a large portion of this square, a school, the nucleus of the present Hutchins School, was conducted by the Rev.J. R. Buck land, who afterwards became head master of Hutchins School. Before this the building had been occupied by Messrs. R. Lewis and Sons as a drapery establishment. Like most of the very old buildings, it stands a little back from the street, and is probably one of the oldest buildings still standing in this block. A little later Mr. W. Robertson, who had previously had a draper's shop in Elizabeth-street, where Mr. Cumming's shop now is, moved to this house, out he afterwards went to Victoria, and settled at Colac. The writer remembers two Norfolk Island pines which grew in front of Ingle-hall, being taken up and replanted in front of St. Andrew's Church, Bathurst-street, where they are still growing. Turning to Argyle-street, the first place was an oil and colour warehouse occupied by Mr. O. H. Hedberg. Mr. Hedberg, who was a Swede by birth, and a man of great strength and energy, was also superintendent of the Fire Brigade, and the Tasmanian Fire Insurance Company's manual fire engine was kept on his premises. The buildings next to these were occupied by Mr. James Burdon, coach-builder. They are still used for the same purpose, being occupied by Vout, Chisholm, and Co. The place at the corner of Argyle and Collins streets was occupied by Mr. Alex. Gellie, merchant and corn-dealer. Later on Mr. Guillois, a Frenchman, carried on the mattress-making business on these premises, and at his death Mr. Mangan, who still carries it on, took over the business. In part of the same premises in Collins-street Mr. R. Sawyer had a boot and shoe establishment. This part of the town was then something of an educational centre, for the next place up Collins-Street was a children's school, kept by Mrs. Metheringham. Next to her Mr. Alex. Fraser, who was also superintendent of the Melville street Wesleyan Sunday school, carried on business as a coach builder. Later on he went to Melbourne, and finally became Minister for Lands and Works in Victoria. His business here was taken over by Mr. J. McPherson, but later on the place was bought by Mr. G. S. Crouch, who carried on the business of an auctioneer there. The building next to this has had a very varied history. In those days it was used as auctioneering premises, and as such occupied by Messrs. Lowes and Macmichael, then by Mr. T. Y. Lowes, and then by Messrs. Brent and Westbrook. After this Mr. Daniel Graham carried on business there as a grocer and tea dealer. When he retired the place was renovated, and turned into a dancing saloon, called "the Polytechnic." It then reverted for a time to auctioneering uses under Mr. Thomas Westbrook and finally became the office of the "Tasmanian News." Where the building now occupied by Mr. Nettlefold stands there was in those days a gable ended building. To this Messrs. Ferguson and Co. at a later date built a front and carried on a wine and spirit business there. Before long building and front alike will probably be things of the past. On the corner where tho A.M.P. Society's buildings now stand were the stores of Messrs. L. Stevenson and Sons, drapery importers (in whose office Sir Philip Fysh and his brother were accountants), and occupied the place. Later on they moved to where Tattersalls now stands. Horwitz and Marks then occupied it, and Mr. J. G. Parker succeeded them on the corner. His business was that of a general importer, and there was also a bark mill near by. The building was a very old one, and, stood back a few yards from the footpath ; finally the A.M.P. Society bought it, and erected their present premises. Next door, in Elizabeth-street, was a small tailor's shop, occupied by a Mr. Capurn, who hailed from Lincolnshire. After him it was occupied successively by John Dean (baker and store), Messrs. Boyle Robertson Patey (agent), Robin Hood (picture-frame maker), and W. Le grand (old book-dealer), and finally became a tea-room. The place next-door was an upholstery and cabinet warehouse, occupied by Mr. Leonard Pear| son. After his death Mr. Henry Hopkins; jun. (son of Henry Hopkins, who built Westella, and is said to have been the first to export Tasmanian wool) carried on business as a machinery importer there. The place was afterwards purchased by Mr. James Robb, saddler, who still occupies it. Next door to this Mr. M. Fitzgerald had a tailoring business which afterwards passed to Mr. Henry Cook. and is still carried on by his son. It is interesting to notice that on this spot there stood, in still earlier days according to J. H. Walker's Early Tasmania, the Derwent Hotel, which was in its time the best inn in the town, and was kept by Mr. William Thomas Stocker, who was appointed by Lieut.-Governor Collins captain of the night watch soon after the first settlement of Hobart. Down Lord's Lane (now known as Cook's Lane) was a third-class educational establishment, a select academy and boarding-school for young gentlemen, conducted by Mr. Henry Wolff, the father of Mrs. George Levy, who is still a resident of Hobart. In addition to this, there were in the lane buildings occupied by Mr. C. E. Wilmot (registrar of births), Mr. J. Gill (solicitor, father of the late Mr. J. W. Gill), and other tenements and stables At the corner of Lord's Lane facing Elizabeth-street, stood Mrs. Gilford's choice silk, satin, and drapery establishment. Later on, Mr. McGregor used this as an office, and ultimately it, together with Lord's corner with which we began our catalogue, was bought as a site for the now Post Office. This fine building, which now adorns the city, is of course of very recent origin, the foundation stone having been laid on July 6, 1901, by our present King, George V., then Duke of York.
Looking southeast off the Whole Foods parking lot. An inbound Rock Island train is arriving LaSalle Street in the distance, AMTK P42DC #192 is about to deadhead into Union Station with the Empire Builder, and IDTX SC-44 #4617 gets servicing at 14th Street.
Someday," I said to myself, "when I am rich and have nothing to do, I think I shall try and ride on every passenger train I can--and go to as many cities as I can, spending very little time in the city itself, but more in the clubcars and the elevated observation cars of the different trains." No, I didn't say it quite that way, but you get my drift if you are an adult reading this text.
We had so many dreams in youth, too many. There was no way they could all materialize, right? Sometimes I wonder if, as Americans, we create too many goals and dreams for ourselves, concentrating on one goal and then another, filling our minds with ambitions that would take several lifetimes to fulfill.
This alley is called "Omoide Yokocho".
"Omoide" means recollections and "Yokocho" means an alley.
Many pubs (Izakaya) gather here. Also, many people gather here.
Not only Japanese, but also many foreign travelers come here.
For travelers it is a place of exoticism.
And for the Japanese it is a place of healing and enjoyment.
Anyhow people coming here look back over their recollections, and also refresh themselves for tomorrow.
April 15, 2020 #BIRTHDAY RECOLLECTIONS.
PHOTO 1 (UPPER LEFT HAND CORNER): This is Joyce, my #biological #birthMother. She gave birth to me on this day, April 15, so long ago.
My Mom said Joyce’s decision to let her and my Dad #adopt me was the greatest #gift anyone ever gave her. Joyce trusted my Mom and Dad to give me a good #life, which they did.
I’m glad my parents were always honest with me about the fact I was adopted, I knew from an early age. Joyce passed away in the early 90s, and I never got the chance to meet her. And I don’t know who my biological #Father was. I wish I did and at some point I am going to take further steps to try and find out.
But again, I just wanted to thank Joyce for giving me life. I love you. And I know a part of your soul has always been with me and I thank you for watching over me all these years.
This photo was originally posted on Instagram.
——————
PHOTOS 2-5 (UPPER RIGHT HAND CORNER): I was a tiny #baby! And my adopted Dad, the only Dad I’ve ever known, he was Joyce’s doctor and as such, he was the doctor in charge of my delivery. Which I always thought was so cool. Not many can say that. I wish he was here today so I could thank him for it. I miss him everyday. I love him.
I was born Steven Robert Han Lee, and I forget why (I’ll have to ask my Mom why). Anyway, my adopted Dad was Korean. He came to Canada in 1952. Some of his family, including his parents were stuck in what became the North. He wouldn’t be able to contact his family in the North until the 1980s. I can’t imagine going thirty years without talking to my folks and unfortunately he never got to talk to them again, but he did reconnect with his siblings who were in the North. But when they wrote him - it was always addressed “Hanju Lee,” not “Han Choo Lee.” Apparently when he came to Canada, immigration services screwed up his name and recorded it as “Han Choo,” not “Hanju.” Many who know me today, know that I go by Steven Hanju Lee. I changed it legally as a teenager to get rid of Robert, which from what I recall, had no deep meaning in terms of say, representing some kind of a personal family history, and I chose to use Hanju as my only middle name as a way to honour my Dad’s birth name, that his parents gave him.
These photos were originally posted on Instagram.
——————
PHOTOS 6-12 (LOWER LEFT HAND CORNER): April 15, 2020: An assortment of photos of baby me. The fifth photo is of me with my adopted parents, from birth - my parents, the only parents I’ve ever known: Hanju and Beverly Jean Lee.
It’s been 1 day since my last emotional breakdown.
And this #photo is a part of my subverted selfie project of 2020, photo 106/366, originally posted on Instagram.
#selfies #SubvertedSelfies #366daychallenge #2020Selfies #livingmybestlife #pansexual #bodyneutrality #selflove #selfacceptance #growth #iweigh #light #love #acceptance #stayhome #dailyinspiration #dailymotivation #day #postoftheday #instagood #empowerment #male #introspection #lookinginward #photooftheday #baby #babyboy #babylife
——————
PHOTO 13 (LEFT SIDE, LOWER RIGHT HAND CORNER): It’s my #birthday and I should feel on top of the world but don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a lot of great moments and breakthroughs lately. But I still feel like I let others down, maybe even creep them out. I dunno.
I know I’m not a creep. I know I have so many amazing people in my life that care deeply for me. I know I’d never hurt another soul intentionally. I’ve let people down, but I wouldn’t ever look to cut another person down. I have love and reverence for all people, I always have. What I haven’t had was self-love. In fact I had years of self-loathing. There were times I couldn’t stand the skin I was born in. It’s why I’ve had suicidal ideation in the past and have attempted it in the past, and came close to wanting to try again this year. I even found Tuesday morning on my browser that I’d googled it the night before. I don’t remember doing it. But I want people to know and trust from the bottom of my heart that while I’ve had a history of difficulty loving me, I’d never hurt someone else. I could never harm someone else. It’s not who I am. If I ever had to, I’d never have a second thought about laying down my life to save others.
I want everyone to know this.
I’ve been talking to people about things in the past where I’ve let them down, as part of my healing. I’m slowly getting around to many people. I’ve had some amazing conversations with many already and those have been wonderful.
On another hand I have a history of spoiling my friends. And I’m learning more that none of that matters. A heartfelt homemade painting given as a gift resonates more because of the passion I put into it than say giving a camera or even a stuffed toy to someone I care for. In some of my past relationships I’d buy them half a hallmark store to try and to express my love but it didn’t result in love staying because I was filled with doubt and fear. The gifts I have were karmically tainted because of my sense of unworthiness. This is what I’m struggling to resolve by shifting my reality - that I know I’m a good man, a strong man, someone with lots to give the world. I’m tired of being afraid of rejection. I’m tired of rejection. I’m tired of feeling lost and alone.
This photo was originally posted on Instagram.
——————
PHOTO 14 (RIGHT SIDE, LOWER RIGHT HAND CORNER): There’s a deeper problem I’ve kept hidden, for two months now. For years now. I was so sick in January, with bronchitis and high fever. It took almost two months to get over. I thought I was over it at one point but it came back and knocked me down again. Overall my teachers were all great and were very accommodating to help me succeed. All but one.
I’ve had trouble in the past with this one, we just don’t always communicate well I guess. My education over the last decade has been up and down. I know at times it likely seemed I didn’t give it my all. After my ex left me, I ended up bombing out altogether and I know I let teachers who cared about me down.
Since I returned though, it’s been largely positive. With the odd exception I’ve gotten grades in the A range, between A- and A+. Up until the reading break, in spite of my bronchitis I was getting similar grades again, on track to getting through a full course load.
But as I’ve documented here, in addition to my bronchitis the depression has loomed over me. And in one class, I ended up being late with one important assignment. It was when the fever came back. I thought well, the teacher docks a certain percent per day so I thought I’ll take the hit and hand it in late as long as I got better. But then I didn’t get better. And two became three days, three became five, and then after seven days the assignment is worth nothing. It’s what has happened before with the same teacher and I know this teacher hates excuses and I retreated. I ignored them. But I saw my doctor for the physical and bloodwork, the first since 2017... and I even got a note just for that one assignment. And I reached out to them. I laid my case bare with honesty which is all I knew to do.
And I was rejected. I was told it was inappropriate to have told them what I had been going through. They were referring me to Kwantlen’s early alert. They were cancelling a meeting cause they felt unsafe and I was not to contact them until I spoke with counselling. This was something they did before years ago. And at that time counselling got back to me within like 48 hours. I actually genuinely like and respect this teacher, and wanted to do well. I got “A” range grades on the first three or four assignments for them. I feel like I’ve just let them down again.
Anyway, I didn’t hear from counseling. I went to the class, but sat at the back And kept mostly quiet Although I answered a few questions during class discussion, and the teacher acknowledge me whenever I raised my hand, letting me talk. But I was absolutely terrified.
Another week went by, and I had still heard nothing from the university about the situation. I actually wondered if she had even sent anything to the early alert. So, as I was finishing the homework for the next class, I received an email from the professor. In the email, the sharply told me that they were failing me in the class, As they had not received the outstanding assignment (even though I had attached what I had completed in my email to them the week before, along with several doctors notes: the ones I received from the walk-in clinic in January when I was originally very sick; and a new one from my primary care physician, written directly for them and asking that they grant me allowance). In their email, they said the decision had been made in consultation with the Dean, and the Office for Student Support. It’s funny, because after I got her first email the week before, I had thought about approaching the Dean, but didn’t. I decided to wait for counselling to contact me about the situation, as I didn’t want to be seen as going over their head. They finished their email by also saying I was to not contact them again about this situation, as that would be viewed as a violation of Kwantlen’s Student Code of Conduct. They then unfriended me and blocked me on social media, including Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
So this latest run-in with this teacher just brought back a flood of insecurity, doubt and depression. I stopped going to my other classes, and I slept a lot. At one point I even ended up on the phone with the suicide hotline, which I’ve spoken to before on my feed, also sharing about the attempt during a Kwantlen speaker’s series. I also got into Kwantlen counselling, who I called immediately the same afternoon I got the professor’s email. I was heartbroken and in tears when I finally went to counseling for an assessment, the same week I spoke.
And sadly, I can’t take these classes with anyone else as this professor is the only person teaching the upper level courses I need. But what upset and disturbed me the most was how the professor said that they were afraid of me. That sentence was like a knife to the gut, tearing it open like a Japanese warrior would tear themselves apart during Seppuku, a ritualized suicide by disembowelment. I remember telling all of this to my aesthetician, and when I mentioned they were scared of me, she exclaimed, “What?! You’re the biggest teddy bear I know!”
So I let March and April slip away. I did start on the final project for this class. I should have reached out to the Dean, but I really hate confrontation. Which has made me feel spineless, and asking myself when I became so weak… I’ve just never been good at confrontation, I fucking hate it. What’s worse is that it’s mainly rooted in the fact I’ve never been good at standing up for me. If I can’t get this class, I can’t even graduate. Which pains me, because if I had been able to get this class done, I’d be on track to graduate in spring 2021 (COVID concerns aside). But now, all that’s in limbo.
Counselling said I should appeal to the Dean. Everyone I’ve discussed this with has said I should fight it. But I haven’t. I build up resolve, and then crumble. I build up courage, and then crumble. In fact, today is likely the very last possible day to appeal to the Dean… having said that, I have been able to reach out to some of my other teachers, one of whom has already given me an incomplete contract, to finish outstanding work over the next month or so. Getting that did boost my confidence.
But still, I’m paralyzed when it comes to approaching the Dean. School is supposed to leave you feeling inspired, and ready to take on the world. It’s not supposed to leave you feeling broken, stupid, and suicidal. It’s not supposed to make you hate yourself even more than you did before you started. It’s not supposed to make you feel like you’ll never succeed if you don’t get that piece of paper that says Bachelor of Fine Arts. What’s worse is how this has just in general, clamped down hard on my desire to create new work. I’m devastated, and so angry at myself for not having handled any of this better. I even lied to my counsellor about having already approached the dean. And I felt so guilty doing that, and I ended up skipping a session because I was so embarrassed.
I sadly see no positive outcome for any of this. And that breaks my heart.
This photo was originally posted on Instagram.
Paper: Recollections White, patterned paper (Lawn Fawn Bokeh in the Snow)
Accessories: Kawaii stickers, large gold paper clip, dies (Memory Box Pinpoint Rectangle Layers, snowflakes - not sure, left over from another project)
Techniques: There are two layers of Recollections 110-lb cardstock behind the sticker for sturdiness, plus another layer to cover the clip.
These clips are each on an ATC (artist trading cards), 3.5” x 2.5”, the perfect size for tucking into a greeting card, stocking, or pocket letter as a little gift. I found inspiration here:
Winter Coffee Lovers Blog Hop – Winter-themed Coffee, Tea, Cocoa Project
coffeelovingcardmakers.com/5342
Allsorts 445 – Snowflakes
allsortschallenge.blogspot.ca/2017/12/week-445-snowflakes...
ATC Around the World 36 - Anything Goes Optional Winter
atcaroundtheworld.blogspot.ca/2017/12/challenge-36.html
Choux Choux Paper Arts – Visions of Sugar Plums
www.chouxchouxpaperart.com/2017/12/visions-of-sugarplums-...
Crafty Hazelnut’s Christmas Extra – December
craftyhazelnutschristmaschallenge2.blogspot.ca/2017/12/ch...
Crafty Hazelnut’s Christmas 363 – Optional Touch of Sparkle
craftyhazelnutschristmaschallenge.blogspot.ca/2017/12/chn...
Crafty Hazelnut’s Patterned Paper – December
craftyhazelnutspatternedpaper.blogspot.ca/2017/12/craftyh...
Cupcake Inspirations CIC435 – Holiday
cupcakeinspirations.blogspot.ca/2017/12/cic435-poppy-stam...
Cute Card Thursday 507 – Anything Goes
cutecardthursday.blogspot.ca/2017/12/challenge-507-anythi...
D.L.ART – December Linky – Anything Goes
dianamlarson.blogspot.ca/2017/12/dlart-december-linky.html
Happy Little Stampers - ATC - Christmas
www.happylittlestampers.com/2017/12/hls-december-atc-chal...
Not Just Cards - December
notjustcardschallenges.blogspot.ca/2017/12/anything-goes....
Pammie’s Inky Pinkies 1750 – Anything Goes
pammiesinkypinkieschallenges.blogspot.ca/2017/12/pip-chal...
SUYP Cats Only 25 – Furrything Goes/Meowy Christmas
showusyourpussies.blogspot.ca/2017/12/show-us-your-pussie...
Simon Says Stamp Monday - Christmas/Winter Holiday
www.simonsaysstampblog.com/mondaychallenge/?p=10935
Simon Says Stamp Wednesday – Gift It
www.simonsaysstampblog.com/wednesdaychallenge/simon-says-...
The Outlawz Twisted Thursday TT120717– Polka Dot Christmas
outlawzchallenges.ning.com/group/prismaandothermediums/fo...
This composition for the Last Selfie of the Year best captured my feelings: As the sun set for the last time I mused warmly about the nicest bits of it - before the long winter commenced in November.
And a final shot from the little project I set myself this week to try and document my commute with my iphone. It was good fun breaking out of the usual routine with the big camera, and nice too not to be weighed down by it and the changing of lenses.
The iphone is never going to take over my photography, but I really feel like I pushed myself into seeing things a little differently again.
To infinity, and beyond!
No recollection of taking this.
(Fancy hotels don't use paper towels -- you get REAL towels, which go in a hamper [or your pocket] afterward.)
taking picture.
Twin Peaks shirt, camera, feet, reflection, washcloth.
drunk. funny face. intoxication.
bathroom, Chatham Bars Inn, Chatham, Cape Cod, Massachusetts.
August 2, 2010.
... Read my blog at ClintJCL.wordpress.com
BACKSTORY: Carolyn's family reunion was at Cape Cod this year. We stayed at the Chatham Bars Inn. It was a lot of fun, and we were happy to see everyone.
For Vicky's recount of the trip, visit: tgaw.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/cape-cod-day-1/