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In 2001 I did my first bigger live act in Münster - in a small café which belonged to the community of the university. I am not quite sure, but I'd say that there were somwhat between 100 and 150 people there - and I was overwhelmed, because I had just hoped for 50. I have a recording of that evening - and if I hear it I am always amused and annoyed at the same time. So much I'd do differently, mostly more subtle nowadays.

One year later I got extremly optimistic. A coworker and musical friend of mine was just producing a CD with his band - and when I heard about the price I calculated for days - but still thought it would be doable. 1.800 Euro for 100 CDs - and I decided to sell them for 15 Euros. I would be still paying 300 for nothing - but I would have an own CD!

I miscalculated. The problem was that the CD was ready when the big summer holidays started. I had a CD - but most of the students were not in town but at home. So I got stuck with 80 CDs that really didn't sell very well.

I sold a few of them, of course - but mostly I started giving them to friends on their birthday - and in few situations also to special girls that I liked very much so they could get to know me.

In that moment my money-trouble really started and immediatly it got out of controll. I thought I could stil get it organized - but I didn't. From then on a special odyssee started. I got my own personal credit facilitie - which I tried to pay back for years.

During that times I have learned quite a lot. For example: How to live from 2 Euros a day. How to live some weeks just with toast, dry cacao powder and a pot of honey that I found in my cupboard. I have learned how to calculate on a cent exactly.

And after 4 years I nearly reached the zero line in 2006. But then my girlfriend decided to move in with me - in her town. I had to give up a lot of friends, a big time of my music - and financially most important: My job, which I loved and had for five years.

So I came into a new town, had to pay the move - and was in big depts again. For half a year I was without a good job, although I took everything I could get. I worked in a CD-store for 5 Euro in the hour - and had to skip a lot of university. I worked in the "Köln Messe" as waiter - but I was never happy. Then I got the job in the big cinema I still work in.

One month later my girlfriend broke up with me. Or better: sent me a shortmessage that I was not supposed to get: "It's not just about the lodging, I stil do like Tobias quite much". We talked, we cried - but she was not able to decide what she really wanted. And then - to be on the safe side - she broke up with me, because she didn't wanted me to raise hope. I had not much time for that at all - the next evening she was with the other guy. (She needed my help six month later, when she was sure that he was a jerk - and some month later changed him against some kind of optical twin of me... but that's another story...)

So I had to pay the second move within 6 month - and that raised the debts in astronomical dimensions. I worked hard and much - and earned a lot of money. But everytime when I had achieved a bigger step then I had to pay fees for the university. And sometimes I was so depressed that I did frustration-shopping - and so I did not really get out of that.

I can't describe how hard it is for me to talk so much about my money. I learned somehow in my childhoood not to. It was nearly some kind of intimate knowledge for me. But while doing this 365 I somehow change this attitude. There are still things I'd tell nobody. But money is not a bad topic in itself. And it somehow helps.

So here the last thing: I earn 1.000 to 1.200 per month. But I have to pay 300 for rent, 300 for insurances. 150 have to be put away to pay the fees for the university. And then I have not eaten yet. The problem is: Therefore I have to work 4 shifts (each has 7-9 hours) a week. And often I leave the cinema at two o'clock in the morning. How to study then well in the next morning? - The crazy thing is: I am quite sure that I learned a lesson seven years before: I know how to handle money if that means how to keep it. But at the moment it is so hard to pay it back... And I haven't been on vacation for years now...

But the nice thing - and that's the other part of that picture: I really find ways back to my music now. And that's something very important for me.

And... folks... thanks for reading that much. It seems to be just money-talk. But it is something taken deep from my heart. And I seldom give people the chance to understand that...

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carefully edited in contrast and saturation of red.

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Because I don't sell my CD anymore - and do not earn money with my music in any other way - I put here the link to myspace (.../tobiaskoelling). I guess it might be fun for some people to hear me singing. But remember: This is seven years old - and it is mostly german. But two songs have english text too. Look out for "Und ich" and "Here You are" ;)

Work by students by Gail Durbin

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Since im done with the idiot i could put up... now by fuzzywuzzyblah

(Work in Progress) by T. Michael Keesey

The horizontal axis is time: 7000000 years before present at left, present time at right. The vertical axis is longitude: 180° W at top, 180°E at bottom. Ellipses represent various populations. Labels at top are of the best-known populations (at least 10 specimens); other taxa are labelled at bottom. The area of the ellipses is proportional to the number of individuals known. (With the exception of the big blob at right for Homo sapiens sapiens, which has been greatly shrunk to fit on this graph.)

The dataset needs to be refined further. Large blobs need to be broken up, and extant chimpanzees have not been added. The labeling is obviously too crowded.

DSC07020_work by SVD Faustball Diepoldsau-Schmitter