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Urban Chronicles ~ Paris ~ MjYj
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A pair of giraffes browse the bush for some late snacks as the sun sets in Chobe. Although hard to see in the dim light, the giraffe on the left is the male, with smooth ossicones, and his companion is female, with tufts of hair on hers.
I am continuing my browse through my photo archives and I have noticed a theme that regularly emerges at some stage in my cross-dressing sessions. Part of me is thrilled by that and part of me is embarrassed and part of me questions the motivation behind it. If my narratives irritate then I suggest stop reading now as I have another scenario I am musing over and intrigued by.
In this photo I am clearly trying to be sexy and alluring and attractive to men. I am an heterosexual male so why am I doing this?
Since my early cross-dressing days, I started to cross-dress at the age of 41 nearly fifteen years ago, I have seen a very definite theme in that I have dressed in certain clothing and posed in a way that can only be described as sexual. In my early days there was a period when I was dressing in a way that looking back now resembles ones expectations of how a prostitute may appear. I also recall I was highly aroused by my cross-dressing back then and had some very intense pleasurable moments. I see no point in denying any of this as the reality is I did it, it happened.
I have noticed on browsing through transvestite pictures that I am far from alone in having at some point dressed in the provocative sexual style of a prostitute. I fact I cannot help but note that such pictures are very popular receiving high viewing numbers on transvestite photo pages. It seems a lot of cross-dressers are captivated by others cross-dressing in such a way.
I won’t deny that I find it rather exciting to dress in a sexy style and enjoyed the erotic nature of doing so and posing for a photo. I can acknowledge now I did want men to be attracted to me and excited by my female appearance. I loved the idea I may be able to do this.
This brings me back to one of my recurring themes in my narratives regarding sexuality. On the face of it dressing up like a prostitute and posing in a picture and hopefully stirring excitement in men is surely the act of an homosexual man? I say no, it is I believe the act of an heterosexual man.
My view is that what lies behind transvestites going for this look and provocative posing is our own male sexual fantasies. Most transvestites deny any kind of sexual arousal is involved in their cross-dressing. At some stage in one’s years of cross-dressing I feel fairly certain there was a definite sexual element and masturbation involved. This can cause dismay and guilt and self loathing after it has occurred, I definitely experienced such feelings. However, as one evolves with their transvestism and grows older it is easier to be more accepting of oneself and start to enjoy the experience with the sexual aspect and some of the earlier style choices diminishing.
I do feel that our male fantasies about the ideal woman affects our approach to how we cross-dress. We may be men dressing up as women but for the majority of us we are most definitely heterosexual men; as is fairly accepted now most transvestites are not homosexual. That is not a definitive statement as there can be other factors behind ones desire to dress and look female. In my case I am an heterosexual male but I do have a definite transsexual aspect to me but not strong enough to dominate. I will admit I enjoy the dressing up and the illusion and the knowledge I am really a man. The transsexual side I feel puts in me in the ball park so to speak of why I desire to spend time as a woman now and again.
I think cross-dressing has a lot of the male fantasy about women involved in it. We often wear outfits and make style choices real women would not choose themselves, We frequently dress to suit our inner fantasies rather than real world female appearances. Let me be clear I am not condemning this, I will admit I like to indulge in my fantasies now and again despite knowing I am being unrealistic, it’s fun and yes, can be pleasurable.
I conducted an experiment with some female friends and showed them a few pictures that were hugely popular with transvestites, often with comments such as ‘totally convincing’, you get the idea. Interestingly they found them anything but convincing. The pictures they preferred were ones that indeed looked more realistic and real world but it was noted were not being viewed much. It seems that utterly convincing, passing one hundred percent in the outside world as a woman in a totally realistic way is not what most of us aspire to even if we think we do. Only a minority pursue this and do well . The majority go in for overtly feminine, more towards glamorous looks and often with a high degree of sexual fantasy such as mini skirts, very high heels, heavy make-up, long hair styles, long painted nails, posing in lingerie, adopting provocative expressions and poses. I see this all the time and I have even done this myself quite a lot over the years. Still don’t believe it’s motivated by sexual fantasy? I rather think it is, I rather do.
I fully expect this post to be unpopular and draw a high degree of negative responses but I like to talk openly about my transvestism when I can so please bear in mind this is my own view I do not expect agreement. I do feel though we can be less than honest with ourselves about why we engage in cross-dressing and I think the whole taboo around the sexual aspects, which many deny vehemently, does exist for a lot of cross-dressers and it would be a lot easier for many to accept if they admitted this and enjoyed it instead of the angst that can be felt.
What I’m saying is dressing up in sexy way and looking like a prostitute does seem to be a stage many of us go through and may well retain. Don’t feel bad about it just get on with it and enjoy it. It may be a stage that passes or always be something one goes in for. Whatever, don’t feel too bad about it, don’t question your sexuality, it is I believe an heterosexual act and one can derive a lot of pleasure from it. Have fun, have a lot of fun!
With her housework finished for the day, Elizabeth relaxes at her desk to catch up on the latest doll fashion news and plot her shopping choices at Penny Lane boutique tomorrow.
Taming Light #17.
Deep in the depths these strange creatures of light feed on radiant filaments of green.
Well, that's what I can see. Perhaps you see something else? :)
For new viewers: These are light refraction patterns or 'caustics' formed by a light beam passing through a shaped and textured plastic form. Colour is added into the clear plastic which modifies the way the plastic hardens further enhancing the patterns.The pattern is captured directly on to 35mm film by removing the camera lens and putting the transparent object in its place. The processed film is digitally scanned for uploading. Please note these are not computer generated images but a true analogue of the way light is refracted by the objects I create.
View large to see the 'rainbow' refraction colours and the diffraction effects.
DAY FOUR. To download with phone browsers, force them into the "PC" or "Desktop" mode and you'll see a download arrow. Tag your photographer! Requests to Instagram or waterbloggged at mail dot com
I heard the killdeer calling to each other by Boyd Lake in northeastern Colorado, USA, and found this loner doing his stroll and little running spurts on the edge of the water.
Browsing fashion catalogue,looking to pick a pretty dress,something sparkly that will impress everyone at the Christmas party ❤️❤️
This site has more information about the bridge: historicbridges.org/bridges/browser/?bridgebrowser=ontari...
Wild South Africa
Kruger National Park
Sharpe's Grysbok are very shy and rare. These solitary small antelope are roughly the size of a grey duiker, though their body is more squat and stocky in build. They have a reddish-brown coat streaked with narrow splotches of white and their backs have a characteristic hunched appearance. Males have short stubby horns.
These small antelope are rarely seen. By day they rest in the protective cover of tall grass or beneath the shady canopy of shrubs. They are very timid and dart off into concealment at the first sign of anything unusual. They feed mainly at night, browsing or grazing as the opportunity arises.
The muntjac deer, Colby and Violet, were excited when their keeper delivered browse. My camera and I were glad to see them so happy.
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After Seaton Sluice we drove a bit further down the coast and stopped at Marsden Bay, Whitburn. It was a sunny day so the beach was extremely busy, but managed a few shots of Marsden's famous rock without anyone walking in front of the camera!
Have to give a shout out to Steve Boote www.flickr.com/photos/amblekingrat/ who kindly gave me a comprehensive guide to all the decent spots in Northumbria before we left for our trip. I'm sure many of you are familiar with Steve's seascapes, but if not I'd definately recommend a browse through his photostream.