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I <3 Life,
Life is GOOD :D
oh yay finally, im BACK!
hahaha.guess what happened?
i was sick. and after i recovered (but i still cough), i cannot ONLINE!
some technical problems, argh! T_T
oh my god how do i live without internet?? D:
FINALLY everything IS FINE, NOW! oh yesssss :D
i love healthy life now ^_^
i missed 4 days to school in once, aww, that was boring.
so..YAYYYYY :D everything is alright now ~!
okay so this week doesnt have the weekly motto, thanks Sara :)
because im the 1 who should choose for this week but i cant online and i didnt online to tell them the motto this week! x.x (and i missed the last motto, but i'll do :D sorry sorry im late again =\)
a lot of people get sick recently,
please do take care, every1! :D
oh yay i'll go n c every contact's photos that i've missed last week :O
eeee i hate seeing my photostream now,
they're not cool at all D: hmm im looking for more of creative photos, ying! :D
explore:#295 :)
explore loves life too! :D
I wanted to state that this is not my house; although I wish it were. When we were kicking around the idea to move to Massachusetts, we flew out during Thanksgiving week to make sure we wanted Massachusetts to become our new home. I had been drooling over this house on a real estate website so we decided to drive out and take a look during an open house. First of all, the house is PINK! I loved the idea of living in a pink house. This house felt so right to me; the owner was selling because his girlfriend (I don't think they were married) had passed away and I believe he wanted to get away and start over. She was an artist and the walls were covered with her art. I will confess, I teared up when I walked inside. It was built in the late 1800's and had charm oozing out of its walls. We weren't in the position to buy at that time (we still had a house in Seattle to sell), but I'll never forget this house. So glad I took photos that day.
So the problem is not so much to see what nobody has yet seen, as to think what nobody has yet thought concerning that which everybody sees.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer
Pacific National 8135 & 8178 waste no time flying through Illabo on Empty Grain Train no. 5CM6 bound for Geelong
18/9/25
The problem with losing weight is that things that I thought would fit when I go thrift shop cruising turn out to be a little big. as is the case with dress. its fine for walking around but not very good for dancing in as things don't get held in place as they should.
Still my hair held up better than the dress did even if I do have a rather high forehead.
I actually like this look and I am a little disappointed about the dress but all is not lost as my wife is on a diet (hence my getting thinner) and the dress can go her way :-)
Makes a change.
Ghosts of Feature Film: A Cinematography Project
This project is an experimental collaboration where shots were composed from a cinema standpoint, incorporating actors actually acting out scenes, in-character, instead of modeling or just being photographed. With Joseph Petito acting on-camera as the main star, I lensed different scenes from 7 films. Each sequence is part of that specific film's larger story, each film having it's own style and distinct types of shots & angles. We designed this project to create a cohesive cinematic illusion that these are real movie screenshots, but for movies that don't actually exist... hence Ghosts of Feature Film.
Joseph Petito as Chris Platt
Jennifer Rizzi as Victoria
Sucre's obitsu broke again ... So I played with her head and some ribbons again :D She looks like an easter egg haha
I am wondering if 2015 could possibly be the year that I take Helene to a new level. So far since I began cross-dressing fifteen years ago, then age 41 with much smoother skin, I have transformed into my female alter-ego mainly in privacy and usually alone. I have rarely net another transvestite. I did venture out in public very briefly in 2002 but soon lost my nerve and since then have felt queasy at the prospect of going out in public while dressed as a woman.
I'm aware I have been fortunate enough to be complimented on my appearance when attempt the art of female illusion. My problem is I cannot quite see myself as others do, I feel a complete failure in my efforts but I’m not gloomy or down, far from it. I feel elation and joy and love to be dressed as a woman. I just feel I don’t actually look remotely feminine in any way. I wish I did.
However, I feel my fears on venturing out starting to recede somewhat more because I so enjoy the rare occasions I become Helene that part of myself is desiring to actually spend time actually being her out in the world. There is an enthusiasm starting to build within me.
The adorable and supportive Pamela Lennon has encouraged me for several years now and I am grateful to her. Another T-Girl, Claire Doolan, has also been encouraging me and I am grateful to her as well. The warm hearted Amanda McG has been truly wonderful and has really boosted my confidence considerably recently.
I now find myself musing on what I will wear and how I will style my wig for the day I venture out….there, I’ve said it…venture out…
Yes, I am now musing over the prospect and I’m not quite as fearful as I was. My problem is I genuinely want to be perceived as female not male. I do not want to be a man dressed up i want to be a woman completely when I venture out. Obviously, this is down to me getting the look right, getting my behaviour and mannerisms right and coming across convincingly as female. I want this so much I feel momentum to g through with it pushing me within.
I often hear remarks such as don’t worry about passing, just be who you are. Well who I am is a man that seeks to pass, that’s what I dream of. I don’t ant anything else. I want to go out and portray myself as a woman wholeheartedly for the period I am dressed and acting as one. It’s my goal. I‘m not keen on just settling for a lesser experience I have been heading for this one for all of my adult life.
This is a picture taken on the camera self timer last June. It was evening and I was trying my utmost to create a real world female appearance. To be honest I felt rather nice and excited in this outfit. I was aiming for a feminine nicely dressed woman look with (hopefully) nice enhancing make-up and a shorter contemporary hair style. I am not very tall as a person and my face is quite bland with a weak chin (all good for me as a transvestite). I feel a shorter hair style back combed helps create a slightly more elegant shape to my whole body shape. More importantly, I find when I wear a shorter wig style I feel more feminine, it feels more real to me than the favoured transvestite choices of long hair styles. Some aces suit longer hair but I find a shorter wig opens up my face ore and is a bit more feminine as a result.
I usually study real women that look stylish and feminine and I noticed the key is choosing a hair style that works with ones facial shape not necessarily a hair style one wants to wear because as transvestites it fits more our perceived ideal of how a woman should look.
I believe fervently that discovering what works and looks female is the key to succeeding in creating a convincing female appearance. We usually pursue a goal of that which we like, which is fair enough, one should be free to enjoy what they like, but often that does not mean it is going to work out for the best. My mantra for several years is ‘be the woman you can be, not the woman you want to be’.
If you are keen to become a convincing looking woman then being willing to have an open approach is the best way to proceed in my personal view. It’s all bot getting the mix right and finding the right combinations of styles and make-up application. So often transvestites just put on things in a hotchpotch manner and don’t apply their make-up with any kind of direction to making the most of feminising one’s face. Cross-dressing is fun but you if you seek to pass then some discipline and direction needs to be adhered to of one wishes to look realistically like a woman. It is an art form and becoming skilled in the art of illusion is a skill worth mastering.
I would suggest one does not become too drab and dowdy, nice clothes are out thee for women of all ages, why blend in so much one is invisible. I know my vanity likes the feeling of being admired as a woman. I like the idea of being seen as feminine and (hopefully) attractive and if at all possibly, stylishly dressed. I would enjoy admiring glances for these reasons. It is what I call the right kind of attention. I know many women certainly enjoy admiring attention. As Helene I too would like that.
I suppose Helene frees up suppressed flamboyant aspects of my persona. The dressing up, the make-up, the hair, the click of the heels, the swish f hem on a dress…yes, I want to catch peoples eye but I know it is all just down to my vanity. I do feel more emboldened as a woman so I wonder just how I will become once I have ventured out on a few occasions? Will the dam break? Will I thrive on being Helene the woman out an about? I cannot help feeling I will probably get completely at home with the persona, something within me feels sure of this though I cannot say why.
I’ve reached the point now in my life where women I see and admire and who are quietly confident and draw the admiring glances of both men and women have inspired me to the cusp of I too want to become one of them (albeit part time). I want to be waking along in a tailored skirt suit, legs on display clad in nude coloured tights, feet swathed in stylish high heel court shoes, a perfectly ironed tailored blouse and precisely applied make-up and a beautifully styled wig with my nails painted and a fragrant air of perfume. Yes indeed, I really would like to be such a woman.
Will I finally become such a woman?
This year? Maybe…
...that I don't have a problem.... but not enough time... :-)
This is Yarow, one of the Dogs from Zbyszek Kunert (PL). I was in Austria last weekend - Sled Dog Race in Sportgastein.
Unfortunately there was a storm on Saturday so only on Sunday the stage was opened for the race.
A lot of dogs of course, a lot of fun with great people.
I will miss this kind of action on the weekend for the next months. It was a great pleasure to be on those events with the mushers and the beautiful dogs
When trying to read on my sunny patio in the evening with a cool, refreshing drink, I too often get distracted by the sunlight and how it moves across my borders. Normally I just sit and stare, and wish I had my camera.
Yesterday, I actually moved and grabbed my camera. Really hoping it doesn't become a habit; i want to keep enjoying my evening reading.
Apologies for no commenting today. Problems with Flickr all day. Sometimes I can access my own page - but sometimes not even that. And no success with anyone else's page either. State of play this evening! Having to give up for the night. Maybe things will be working tomorrow - hopeful!
Flickr outage map outage.report/flickr/map
Managed a Blog post - so there's a nice photo out there ;o))
Explored - #15
Minneapolis, MN
Due to the cold weather and continuing car problems, I've hardly done any shooting in the past month and a half! But I did just release my "December" set of Photoshop actions on Tuesday! This is a photo of Casey from last winter, and I used "Chestnut" along with "Merriment" at 25% beneath it.
"December" is a set of 12 actions, made using a combination of adjustment layers (including curves, color balance, gradient maps, color fills, and more). The set also includes two additional actions for brightening or darkening using curves. Check out more at www.sarakiesling.com/actions :)
Canon 5D Mark II, 50mm f/1.4. Natural light.
www.sarakiesling.com || blog || twitter || facebook || actions
"OK little buddy, we have a break in the rain. Go potty and poopie. Come on, please. It's day two and I know you can't hold it any longer. I have a nice chunk of rib eye in my pocket. Fine it's the old cheese we won't eat, but you sometimes do. This isn't going to happen is it? You're going to go on the floor the moment we go back in, aren't you? Well I tried and no, you can't have the stinky cheese that's now stuck to the inside of my pocket."
"She would've made such a lovely bride
What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said
But you'll find the real thing instead
She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred
And hold your hand while dancing
Never leave you standing
Crestfallen on the landing
With champagne problems
Carmen has been wearing this dress since January, I think she is too perfect in it, so I guees she will keep it on for a little while :P
Seeking to "norm" problem drinking by making hilarious boasts about it could be indication that someone isn't handling alcohol well.
Rollei SL66E Fomapan200 diafine (3+3)
Pelicula fomapan 200 revelada con diafine y el resultado es este. ¿Alguien le ha pasado esto alguna vez? Las manchas estan en todo el negativo, inlcuso en la parte no expuesta. Otro dato curioso es que carecia de numeros y de marca de pelicula.
Fomapan 200 developed in diafine (3+3) Can anyone tell me what could be the problem? The strange spots are all over the negative even in the unexposed parts.Another curious thing is that the film doesn´t have any numbers or film maarks.
Thanks in advance
A BNSF SD70ACe, 3 ES44C4's, NS SD90MAC, and a NS C44-9W lead 31K west after the 5th unit in consist developed brake problems.
Film stock: Kodak Tmax 400
Expiry 01/2003
Format: 135
Camera: Pentax P30
Lens: SMC Pentax-A 50mm F1.4
Developer: Caffenol C-L
Time: 60 min @ 20-21degC semi-stand
NB The film base was still fogged. New precision scales used so it is not a problem of incorrect proportions of caffenol ingredients.
Hi Everyone,
Just a quick note to let everyone know what it happening!! My wife was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday and will just say that the issues have not resolved!! Please no emails at this time because I don't have time to address them!! We only have questions at this time and no answers so it will do no good to speculate!! I ask that for those of you who pray that we would appreciate it if you kept her in your prayers!! I will try to get back here as soon as possible and fill everyone in but it has been a 20 hour day today! Peace and blessings to everyone!!
Thanks to all. Jerome
DSL_1115uls