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'Evolving Perceptions' 2011
resin, nails, enamel, acrylic on wood 24"x24"
The world is full of magic things,
patiently waiting
for our senses to grow sharper.
~W.B. Yeats
in SENSORIA at art sites April 6th-May 5th 2013
Thursday, February 9th, 2017
A Distorted Perception
My monthly New Braunfels Photographic Society Club meeting is coming up on Monday and this month's theme is "Distorted." We could distort the image in camera using a variety of technical choices or distort in post-processing which is what I chose to do.
As most of you know, I've been working on overcoming my anxiety. I've been seeing my therapist and reading books. I've been using self-portraits as a way to be introspective and to push myself to grow. When I look in the mirror, I see a distorted perception, a reflection that isn't accurate. I pick apart faults... my nose is crooked, my upper lip is getting too thin, those wrinkles are more pronounced, look at all that gray hair, my face is too asymmetrical, just how many chins can one woman have?... it's shameful. I shame myself.
Shame is what keeps me in anxiety and misperception. I'm reading Dr. Brené Brown's I Thought It Was Just Me which is all about how shame keeps us from living an authentic life. I am changing this. I've been journaling. Someday I may will share my stories. I spent some time yesterday in front of my camera, alone, and made myself feel pretty. Some day I may will have the confidence to share some of those images. Until then, I will be kinder to myself.
If you live with anxiety, insecurity, perfectionism, or shame, read Dr. Brené Brown. You are worth it. Thanks for looking!
All of us see the world around from a different viewpoint based on our experiences. Many have seen this pic taken today, so far none have been able to discern the subject matter.
It is a solo cup with water......
copyright, 2012, Ferran Cubedo.
SALE OF PRINTED ARTS > : society6.com/ferrancubedo/Perception-Nature_Framed-Print#...
I saw a friend today with wounds on his wrists. We all know what that means. Nearly every time we meet, he talks blithely, nihilistically, about the meaninglessness of his life. He says he hopes not to live too long, but I don't buy it – time passes quick enough as it is. Might as well hang on to the last bitter minute, all the more time to make yourself useful. That's why I create things, because it's a lifetime guarantee. No matter how feeble I get, hefting a camera or pushing a pen should still be possible. My body is temporary, and I know better than to rely on my brain.
I know where that man is coming from, because I've been crawling around in the dark since I was a little kid. I've always had that steady stomach and headache, that broken-hearted battering of anxiety and depression. There was never a reason, just the incredible intensity of every emotion at once, overwhelming me. Neuroscience calls it "sheer perception", the period before our brain learns to process all the sensory noise. It took me years to pull out the pieces, to difference music from lyrics, to not go crazy with more than one person talking at once. You're supposed to grow out of it, but my emotions have always been raw and right at the surface. Maybe it's good for art, but it's rough for everything else. I feel for people who came crashing to earth later, because they were never ready for gravity.
The chaos never goes away completely. Even on the day I was married, I wrote a poem called "A Wedding in Death Valley". We were so happy, but I couldn't resist the beautiful bitter-sweetness of late autumn. That's how I always am, caught in the malestrom of emotion, a little bit upside-down. I see the brightest bit of beauty, and immediately go looking for the shadow it casts. On these long hikes in silent places, I ask myself what separates me from the man with bleeding wrists. For all the noise in my mind, I find comfort in myself. The escape is always safe, and no matter how ugly it gets, I can always be trusted to leave my heart at peace. I'm a solo sort, but I've seen how being a broken extrovert can destroy you. You've absolutely got to be good at solitude, just in case.
copyright, 2012, Ferran Cubedo.
SALE OF PRINTED ARTS > : society6.com/ferrancubedo/Perception-Nature_Framed-Print#...
One of my little side-projects: photographing doors, in a project I call "Doors of Perception" (yes, I am a fan of The Doors).
One of my little side-projects: photographing doors, in a project I call "Doors of Perception" (yes, I am a fan of The Doors).
Leather Overbust Corset and Neck Corset. 7 sizes: Standard sizes XXS-L, plus special sizes M+ and Bx. Copy/Mod
maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Mint Tulip/24/203/22
If you hadn't already noticed, I started a new series called "perception of light" which is why a lot of my pictures lately have been like that.
On another note, I need to rant about something. Taking another photographer's picture and re-creating exactly it isn't cool. Being inspired by something is great and awesome, but blatantly re-creating the picture the same exact way the original photographer did it isn't good. I've noticed on multiple occasions, people (and one person specifically, who I will not name) try to convince people that the idea for a picture was theirs, when it obviously wasn't. It makes me mad because the original photographers put so much time and effort into their work just to have some people do the same thing and try to convince others that its their own ideas and stuff. I'm not really one to talk here since I have pretty much copied another person's work in the past, but I'm not doing that anymore because I realize it's wrong, but I also gave credit for the idea. I'm not saying that if you've done that you're a horrible person or anything, I just personally think it isn't right to not give the photographer credit for your inspiration and basically plagiarize their work.
Facebook: www.facebook.com/karachristinad
Went to look at an expensive antique car yesterday. Talked on phone with owner several times seeing car was about one hundred thirty miles away.
Gave a little background on myself.
The reason I bring this up is. I really want this car if I can work it out. The person I was talking to thought I would be a good owner judging by the other vehicles I told her I possessed.
So when meeting, I wanted to project a strong confident no nonsense professional individual.
We are who we project. What you do at home and what you wear with friends are one thing. But how you are perceived by others, be it work, church, going to store, interactions, Will inevitably determine the outcome of the encounter.
And that holds so true in the Trans community. If you truly believe in your heart , that you were meant to be and live female, Project yourself as such.
This is me stopping for a cup of coffee before a ride home.
My encounter went great. After test driving and looking over I chatted with the owner for about an hour. She's an older Lady. Husband just died. He was the love of her life. She thinks he would want me to have. A daughter he never had. And that my Mother is the luckiest person in the world. Sandra and I then took her for coffee. I think in my heart..... I found a new Mother to replace my deceased one. Sandra did also.
And it all started with perception
Reality is just a manner of perception
Hey guys! I'm really sorry I haven't uploaded lately. I've been really busy with school and all the other stuff. Anyway, this is inspired by Fringe (the BRILLIANT tv serie). I continue to be in experimenting phase and I'm loving it!
I'm going down to my Grandpa's house today for Easter and I'm procrastinating like always.
Happy holidays guys <3
One of my little side-projects: photographing doors, in a project I call "Doors of Perception" (yes, I am a fan of The Doors).