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Vista inferior del bogie de la unidad remolcada de un AS-2002 del Metro de Santiago. En la foto se pueden ver claramente los sistemas de freno de discos ventilados, junto con los carbones que mejoran el deslizamiento de las pestañas en las curvas más cerradas del trayecto.
Foto tomada con autorización.
Bottom view of an AS-2002 bogie of the Santiago Metro. In the photo it is possible to see the ventilated disc brake systems, together with the carbon brushes that improve the sliding of the wheel's flange in the tighter curves of the line.
Photo taken with permission.
As my previous cracked mud didn't propel into Explore. I am doubling down with some volcanic fissures.
Whitstable again in Kent, went with Mark (code.dude) for the sunset this time, the longish exposure make the waves and those canoeists a little blurred but that does not really matter, the light and colours were the main subject!
I don't really like many of my photos artistically as of late, so I'm just going to upload something that makes me happy even though it's blurry and technically unsatisfying.
And with it I want to write something that I've been thinking about a lot. It isn't going to be beautiful but it doesn't have to be, because it's not being written to be pretty. It's just going to be.
Going off to college has been sinking in lately, and I've realized that I've never given enough credit to all the students who have made the transition before me. I watched as upperclassmen seemingly glided into a new environment effortlessly, gladly, and it never seemed like a big deal. But it is. It's not the starting of a new "life" somewhere else--that's exciting, exhilarating--but the leaving behind of an old one that is troubling. I think most of all I'm scared of forgetting, of moving on and never returning to the people that currently make me so happy. I'm scared to lose what I now have. Reflecting on this makes my stomach tighten up and my throat feel a little funny. I don't like it. But the reflecting has to be done, because it leads me to an end; with the help of the movie Lost in Translation and a song I don't remember from the play Wicked I heard during a car ride with my best friend I had an epiphany. Moving on is ok. Letting go is alright. Because if these people and places and moments are really as important as they seem, they will never really be gone. They all leave changes in you, on you, whatever. They all shape and mold; some destroy and others encourage growth. Mrs. Furphey taught me to appreciate the absurdity and the irony in life. Carla showed me that it's ok to succeed when you deserve it, even if it doesn't seem like it. Fransisco and Hugh made me feel beautiful. Mrs. Laudadio taught me that it doesn't all have to be so hard. And these are just the ones that I realize. Think of all the things that must have changed you that you haven't figured out.
When I was really little I used to fantasize about being able to pack up all of my possessions, shrink them, and carry everything with me when I traveled. This is kind of like that; I find solace in knowing that even if I don't see some of these people who made high school days such a pleasure again, I will always be able to carry part of them with me. I don't know if I was supposed to take Lost in Translation this way, but I understood it as the story of two people meeting and connecting, and staying together despite a literal separation. Each changed the way the other thought or approached problems or whatever, and for that there will always be a bit of one with the other.
And now, like every other time I've thought about it, I've twisted myself around, utterly confusing my meaning. I feel like there is so much more I should be writing (as if this wasn't long enough), but that I cannot transform it all from mere feelings and currents to comprehensible concepts and audible words. Of course, I've found that my favorite ideas are the ones that I can never fittingly explain. And anyways, I feel inside me that I've figured it out somehow.
hopefully you didn't waste your time and read all this.
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Veteran Suicide, is the topic for today. This is going to be another long one folks. As you read; I don’t want you to think of me. I’d like you to think of your husband, your wife, your partner, your son, daughter, grandson, grand daughter. The 1%, having the courage, to serve and defend our nation. I will be covering events that happened yesterday, and the impact it has on the mental health of our veterans.
Again, this is not about me. Its how veterans are treated at VA facilities, and some of the civilian medical facilities, we are sent to.
I had an appointment, with an ophthalmologist, early the other morning. I have intermediate vision loss in my right eye, and now problems in my left eye. Very similar, to the description from a woman, who’s child was a victim of Electronic Weapons (also know as the Havana Syndrome). She, a US Citizen, a child of a person interviewed, on 60 Minutes; 2-20-22. I’ve had problems with my right eye, for over two years now. Bouncing from VA Hospitals, VA Clinics; trying to find someone that gives a shit.
I get ready, lock up the motorhome and head for Grand Junction, Colorado, VA. I’m only 30 minutes away, and not rushed. VA, is an abbreviation for the Veteran’s Administration. A place where Veterans, are supposed to receive medical care. I pull off the National Forest Road, onto the main highway. Just, as I come over the hill, not a mile from our camp; there’s a State Trooper. Waiting, to try and catch me speeding. This happens, over and over again, when I have an appointment. I look at my speedometer, and slow it down a bit. I also see a guy just up the road. This minion, sets along the road, waiting to see which direction I take. Its another act to let me know I’m being watched. An attempt of intimation, along with a physiological attack on my mental health. Koda and I, head on down the road to Grand Junction.
As we pull into the parking lot, a man quickly cuts us off, and takes the last spot, close to the entrance door. It’s early, and hardly anyone is in the office. Once I check in; the perps start rolling in. Koda and I are setting in the lobby. These perps start with their over the top; hand in pocket skit. Then, some start the hair flipping shit. I’m talking 5 women, coming and going, flipping their hair as far int the air as they can. Even the staff chime in. Yes, folks, Koda and I are in a medical facility. As the women flip their hair, the men stair directly into Koda’s eyes. One even comes over, looking as threatening as possible. Wearing a big billed cap, big dark glasses, and a large black mask. He sets down right beside us, bends down, looks directly into Koda’s eyes. Koda, laying at my feet. The man asked if he could pet Koda, as he looks sternly into his eyes. I said no, he a Service Dog. I then asked if he wouldn’t stare into his eyes. I told him; dogs can take it as threatening. Koda, didn’t, because he’s used to it. Many VA staff, do it all the time. Even a Patient Advocate, that is supposed to help Veterans. This person is supposed to help veterans; having problems with the VA.
I stood up for myself and my dog, so now the minions are really pissed. They send in more Village Idiots, Sociopaths and Narcissist. Displaying their Perp Colors, fake coughs, arms flailing, American Flag Face Masks, large dark glasses, and stupidly big headphones. I’m talking big, big headphones. Not earbuds.
After seeing the doctor, a nurse has Koda and I, set in the hallway. She then, brigs over the guy with the stupid big headphones. She tells him to set right beside Koda, on my left. Even though, there are seats to my right. Koda, is getting uncomfortable, but continues to lay by my side, unmoved. He starts to whine a bit, as he looks up to me. He’s getting very uncomfortable, I see it in his face. The guy is playing something through his headphones that’s irritating Koda, intensely. I can’t hear it, and I’m not hard on hearing. The ‘Stupid Big Headphone Skit’, is used on us quite often. Especially, when we go to a laundry mat. They use something that makes Koda, extremely anxious and irritated. Many, actually smile, while doing so. This was at a civilian ophthalmologist office. I will say, the doctor was more thorough in the hour and a half, we were there; than the VA has, in over 2 years. This doctor ordered lab work, and an ultra sound. A skit; is what I call these, conspired, and practiced acts, of Gang Stalking/Domestic Terrorism.
I’m still waiting on an MRI read, from over two moths ago, that I got at the Phoinex VA. The Neuro-Ophithmoligest, at Barrow Neurological Institute. Spent less time with me, than I did filling out a little paperwork. He was dismissive and short. After, over two years of dealing with my right eye; I had to demand an MRI. I’m still waiting for a video call, so he can give me the MRI results. I have no confidence in a diagnosis or prognosis, from this guy. Their office Gaslighting me, leaving repeat message; that I have an in office appointment Monday, in Phoenix. This appointment is a video conference call, I set up before heading back to Colorado. I confirmed it two weeks ago. This week, and today, as I write this; they call with prerecorded messages and text. Wanting me to confirm, an in office visit for Monday. I’ve called them many times, left messages, and got ghosted.
So, now we are headed to the Grand Junction, VA, to get my lab work done. The front parking lot is full, so we head to the parking garage. We have the minions, trolling around to see where we park. We find a spot in the garage and park. I gather my things, and Koda the Magnificent. I open the car door, someone just behind us, honks their car horn 6 times. This wasn’t an alarm, this was one of the minions, letting everyone know; we are getting out of the car. It’s also a psychological stimuli, that lets you know, you are being watched. We get it, all the time, and have recorded it.
We walk to the back entrance. There are two VA Police Officers, and a man; standing in front of the door, blocking our way. We get through these guys, I use the hand sanitizer. The guy with the tan blazer, says something about my “furry friend.
A few years back I had surgery, one of many. I was living and working in Yosemite National Park. I was using the Fresno, California, VA. My daughter flew out, to help me with recovery, and spend Fathers Day with me. What a daughter…. While I was in the hospital, she would come to visit daily. When I was able to walk, she would walk with me down the halls of this beautiful hospital. These hallways filled with pictures of dedication, loyalty and sacrifice. Past wars, and their participants. She’s holding my arm, I look at her, looking at the pictures. Wondering if she can absorb, the depth of the sacrifice behind them. We get to the end of the hall and turn around. I see a young man in the hallway. Kooks to be early 20s. My daughter looked a little blushed. She looked directly at me and said; “Dad, that guy has been following me, every time I visit”. No Shit, my daughter was being stalked at the VA Hospital. All, the while; VA Police, watch on their many cameras. VA Police, will try to bait, intimidate and watch Targets, like a hawk. Yes, folks, this shit really happens at our VA facilities. You have to ask yourself; Is this how our CIA and FBI, train their Minions? They recruit KIDS, while they are in High School!
I knew better than to stop, and respond to these guys. I headed for the lab, with my ophthalmologist lab request. I went to the window, to check in. There was also supposed to a lab request, from the Phoenix VA. I was told last week, it was in the system; when speaking to one of the traveling vet coordinators. It wasn’t. I was told I had to go to the ER, and get a doctors authorization, for the new request. I didn’t have a problem with that, because; its to make sure and verify, its a legit request. What I have a problem with; is the Grand Junction VA Staff, and other minions, intently in wait, to attack my mental health, bait me, harass me, and set me up.
We go back down, to the ER. As we walk towards the check in window, a guy standing a distance from it, steps up to the window. He’s stalling, Gaslighting about the Mental Health Ward, He’s giving more minions time to show up. They weren’t expecting me to come right in today. This also gave the staff time enough time, to come up with excuses, for why my other lab request, was not in the system. When I was told by phone, it was.
I finally check in, and we have a seat. There are a few people in the area, but not too crowded. As soon as we do, a guy close to us; leans over and looks directly into Koda’s eyes. Koda looks away. The man continues this, with extremely stern looks. I asked him please not to, said it’s a threatening act to a dog. He knows this, but is baiting for a confrontation. The simple fuck, is finally called away, but is replaced by two others. One not wearing a mask. The VA requires a face mask at this facility, and I believe all. Koda, has been uncomfortable since we walked in. He knows where we are, and what to expect. We got the same treatment last Friday. He still lays patiently, at my side. A woman comes in, sets a large purse on a seat across from us. Then, sits on our side across from it. I start receiving a light Electronic Weapons attack. I don’t know if its coming from her purse. As she sets there smiling, her mask pulled down, so I can see.
A nurse calls us up to the front. As Koda and I squeeze through the minions sent to bait and harass us. We walk pass the purse, the woman so intently sat in a chair. Koda stops and sniffs it. Seriously, he does. He gets attacked with Electronic Weapons, and audio stimuli, too. Koda and I work are way through the now, packed waiting area. The nurse has my records in his hand. As we walk towards him; several nurses rush to cut us off. When we do reach him; he tells me, I’m the wrong patient, have a seat. Koda and I look for a clear path back to our seat; another nurse comes up and start Gaslighting about the Mental Health Ward. I stood up for a while, because of setting all morning at two different facilities. There was a man in an electric wheelchair. He asked about Koda, so we stopped and talked with him for a while.
He asked about service dogs. I told him; as far as I know, the VA does not provide Service dogs. There are many civilian groups that help veterans obtain a service dog. Many times, at no, or low cost to the veteran. That’s the norm, for our Veterans. They have to reach out to civilian organizations, to get their required medical needs. That’s because the VA, and our government wont. Why is that Mr President? You continually bring up your sons military service, while veterans are reaching out to civilian agencies, because the VA WON’T fulfill their needs. How long have you been in politic? Why don’t you add another 800 Billion to the Defense Spending; while veterans kill themselves.
I told the man I am, an Advance Certified Animal Care Specialist, and trained Koda myself. He asked to pet Koda, and I let him. Koda, licked his hand softly and gave him his sweetest look. I showed him a few hand signals, I’ve taught him. We were both lost in the gentle actions of Koda. For a moment; we forgot about the crowded clinic. That didn’t last long; because the minions, can’t have it. Rick is enjoying himself; we have to do something about it. Nurse, after nurse strolling by. Clicking pens, fake coughs, flailing arms, and Mental Health Ward Gaslighting. Then, one brings out the American Flag. Yep, they have to throw that in our face. When all else fails, they use the American Flag. It’s folded, and just a Gaslighting Prop. They pulled that one two years ago, after I complained to the Patient Advocate. Koda, and I handle ourselves like pros, because we are. This is a small VA Hospital, with very limited doctor staff. Nurses, think they control the show, Many times they do. Free Speech, is not so Free; in the United States of America. It can cost you dearly.
An hour later, I finally got the Ophthalmologist request in. We headed back up to the lab. We had the minions rushing ahead of us, to the elevator. Koda and I entered, one man had a clear plastic bag. This bag had the exact items, I left on our kitchen counter this morning. This, another act of Gaslighting. It also, lets a Target Know, they are being watched, or someone has entered their home. It’s another Gaslighting Tactic; used to attack the mental health of a Target, to bait and discredit them.
Then, there are two others. Dressed in their Bright Perp Colors. The man, working his way, as close to Koda as possible. We stood to the back, but when the elevator opened, they wanted us to exit first. We didn’t, and I told the two by the door to go ahead. As they did, I could see the man in the tan blazer. He was the same man, with the two VA Police, when we first came in. He was standing just to the right of the elevator door. As Koda and I step to the door, I said wait. That’s his command to stop and wait. Knowing that at almost every corner, entrance or exit; a minion, is waiting. Koda, stops and waits. As we do, the man in the tan blazer, walks pass us. As he does, he reaches into the elevator, open handed, fingers separated, right at Koda face. The two that stepped out ahead of us, standing there, in their perp colors, to witness; if I act out. I didn’t, and neither did Koda. I told the man “He’s a service dog, you don’t do that to someones service dog”. He smiles and says “I was just saying hi”. I didn’t start a confrontation, and we left for the lab. We are in a medical facility, the staff is not educated enough, to not reach out, at a Service Dog? Give me a fucking break….
We go into this small room so I can get my blood drawn. The smell of sanitizer and alcohol, was overwhelming. It irritated Koda, immensely. He still, just lay at my left side. I ran labs at two veterinary facilities, and at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo; in Colorado. I know what labs and exam rooms smell like. This is a tactic used on Targets. They use the sense of smell to harass and Gaslight Targets. They will use sanitizer, alcohol, auto exhaust, second hand smoke, the smell of gasoline and diesel. You can see them in action, at the Grand Junction Walmart, parking lot. It’s on their cameras.
We finished our labs, and head to the parking garage. Ahead of us, rushes someone from the Hospital. He walks upwind, and lights a cigarette. We get in the car and leave, as the minions come out flipping their hair.
We drive across the street to have lunch. It was literally just across the street. It was a long morning, and our day not even half over. We gather our things, go in. As we enter; there are two young guys setting by the window. Probably in their early twenties, they start fake coughing. There’s a woman ahead of us, she stalling, giving other minions time to show up. Koda and I patiently wait. The guy at the counter disappeared. We are used to this. More minions, come marching in. Yep, its a Stupid Fest; sponsored by the Local Village Idiots Association. I finally get my order in, take my cup, get mobbed at the soft drink fountain. The Coke dispenser didn’t work, I mentioned it to the employee that rushed up there ahead of us. She moved the top of the Coke tap, and said try it. I did, as sprays all over Koda and I.
We have a seat, Koda laying at my left fett, minion after minion, walking by; looking directly down at Koda. Not even giving me a glance; just intently, looking into Koda’s eyes. Koda the Magnificent didn’t even flinch. He was looking at dad, waiting for the delicious morsels, he so well deserved. While we ate, someone blocked the view to our car, with an SUV. It was soon surrounded, by vans, trucks, and SUVs. None of them had an electric car, Mr Transportation Secretary. I don’t know where these Bottom Feeders are getting their gas money from? They don’t seem to be working.
We finished our lunch, headed to the door, as a minion rushes to the bathroom, thinking I may have to pee. They will leave piss all over the floor for Koda to step in. Really, they will. Just ask the Walmart employees in Grand Junction, Colorado, or Buckeye, Arizona. We get in the car, someone has moved my rear view mirror, changed my air conditioning settings (it’s going to be 100 today). Both my back windows were down about an inch. Nothing taken, just shit tampered with. This is the norm, for a Targeted Individual, in the United Sates of America.
Koda and I headed to the River Park. They have several fenced, dog play areas. We got there before noon, not to hot for Koda yet. I took him there often, after I first adopted him. For socialization and other training. There are pictures from two years ago, in our photostream.
When we arrived, there was no one in the three open play areas. I’m thinking great, Koda can be a dog! But, I know what’s coming. He’s looking around, a bit confused, its been two years. He finally realized where he was. He starts skipping across the grass, running, happy as can be. It was short lived; the minions start showing up. First, we had a guy brig in a big pit-bull. Thinking I would be intimidated. I’ve worked with military working dogs for years, pit-bulls are sweethearts; compared. Koda wasn’t intimidated either. His tail wagging, panting, happy to make a new friend. NOT, what they expected. Koda, rushes up to the bruit, as do I, covering his back. I started talking, with the young guy who brought him in. Just basic things, he had questions about his dog, I happily gave him suggestions. His wife (Miss Honey-Pot), setting in the car, joins us. Short-shorts, bending and stretching exposing way to much flesh. I didn’t mind, but didn’t drool over it. It’s Basic Gang Stalking 101.
Then comes in the Red Husky. It was followed by a manly-man. Shaved head, muscles bulging everywhere, tight shirt and pants. Koda rushes to greet the Husky, his happy self. The Husky, a young male, seemed a bit taken. Koda and the Pittie rushing at him. The guy who brought it in, came over to the picnic table. The Perp Couple, still there. The Husky had a Service dog vest, so I asked the guy about him. He told me about a local organization, that trains them and gives them to vets.
Then he tried to repeat some of the same conversation, I had with the guy in the electric wheel chair, this morning. He tried hard, but flubbed it. This is called Street Theater. The guy told me he was a vet with PTSD. I’m not going to question that. I could tell the man was troubled. It showed in his eye contact, facial expressions. I could tell anxiety was setting in. I didn’t fault this man. I didn’t judge him. I’m sure so many have. He told me he was a veteran, I could see he was troubled; that was enough. Some people are recruited into Gang Stalking, even veterans. Often, being offered something that can’t achieve for themselves. Unknowing, of the full picture. Mr President; why don’t you help veterans in need of service dogs? This poor guy tried his best, then went and sat in his truck, with his dog. My heart weighing heavy, knowing this struggling man, has been so wrongly misguided.
As Koda is having a blast; a FedEx Semi pulls into the parking lots. He takes up a ton of parking places. Parking, facing the side of my car. So, he can set in his truck, watch me, and my car. Then a big construction truck pulls in. It has a cherry picker. It parked behind us. This is a small, city parking lot.
I get mobbed, followed, blocked and cut off by FedEx, UPS, and USPS drivers, all the time. No shit folks, many people are afraid to discuss it, but IT IS TRUE. Our Government Agencies; have their minions all over the United States. Spying on, baiting and harassing, Targets. They even have your neighbors spying on you. Some call it the Neighborhood Watch, others call it Gang Stalking. It’s Domestic Terrorism! Just look up he definition if you need to. Educate yourselves, please.
Karen came in, as he was leaving the play area. Her job was to throw balls towards the fence. Close to the outer sidewalk. As she did; local sociopaths, waiting for an opportune moment. They would ride by on a bikes, skates; in their colors. Some, carrying floats for the swimming area (too far away). There’s a parking lot, not full at all. Trying everything to try and get Koda to chase and bark after them. All the while, getting their daily needs, of sociopathic fulfillment. It didn’t work that well. Koda was getting to hot and tired to chase anything. They continued trying, in their bright orange and red colors. Their combined intelligence, far lower, than this amazing dog that has blessed my life. But, they will try and take that away from me. Weekly, daily; sometimes. Koda was getting hot, so it was time for us to leave.
We needed to get a few groceries. I wanted to try a local City Market in Fruita, Colorado. It’s only about 12 miles from our camp. The minions in wait; knowing there are a few things I need. Yep, they really do. I’m sure they did an inventory while I was gone. They tamper with my motorhome, all the time. They like to tamper with my frig in the summer, move things around, sometimes destroy small items. They did this in Yosemite National Park too.
As we pull in; they had the Honey-Pot walking pass me. There were minions waiting to mob and block us at the carts; just like Walmart. Once inside, they started setting up. Using their carts, their bodies; to block me from getting ranch dressing, veggies, salad-mix, bread, butter and water. One woman attempting 4 times, thinking I needed more than I did. I was tempted to ask her to hold my phone, as I start a prerecord, loud, extended fart, on it. But, decided against it. A prank I share with my granddaughters. Yes, I’ve been watching too much YouTube.
We get the same community mobbing show, as we do at Walmart. But, with less intensity; piece of cake. I wanted one, as I walked through the bakery. Koda helps pull my heavy cart, with the water and all. We headed to the checkout. Billy-Bob, was waiting to cut in front of us. The young couple ahead of him, were keeping the cashier occupied by their personal life. Long after they paid. They gave another, time to slip in behind us. Sometimes these people will switch things out; from my cart, or the conveyor. As another keeps me occupied, by harassing Koda. This guy didn’t, he just got smothering close. As we leave, we get blocked at the doors, a bid diesel truck; setting up to accelerate just in front of us, as we step out the doors. As we leave; here comes the Hony-Pot again.
You may ask; who is “they”. “They”, are some of the people you work with. “They”, are some of people working in our VA Hospitals, Clinics. “They”, are some of your neighbors. “They”, may be a relative, someone you may consider as a friend. “They”, are some of the police officers, in your community, your state. “They”, are many, in our government agencies.
Mr President, Mr CIA, FBI, and Homeland Security Directors, as you cower in the Halls of our Nation. Like, the Law Enforcement Officers, in the Halls, of the a Uvalde Texas, Grade School. As teachers and children are slaughtered. How many veterans have have ended their lives today? How many have committed suicide while on your watch? How many can be attributed to the horrific treatment, at VA Facilities; from VA Staff. By the retaliation, mobbing, gaslighting, harassment, dismissal; from VA Staff? How long are you going to pretend that Electronic Weapons; are not being used and tested, on us citizens, on US Soil? How long are you going to pretend Gang Stalking is not real? That this is not Domestic Terrorism! You criticize other Nations on their Human Rights Treatment! You can’t even keep your own houses in order! Look at our History!
There are veterans afraid to speak out. I’ve spoken to some of them. I don’t question their courage, one bit. No one should. So, send you minions my way. The Airplanes, Jets and Helicopters. The Village Idiots, Sociopaths, and Narcissist; that do your bidding. Attack my character, discredit me, destroy my life. My mental health is fine, I can take it; I have for 14 years. There are many that can’t!
And, LEAVE MY DAUGHTER AND DOG ALONE.
Like, many would like you to belive; No, I don't belive everyone is out to get me. Just the Bottom Feeders, trying to destroy our democrocy.
I have spoke to many in the medical field. Gaslighting in our medical facilities (not just veteran), is extremely common. Workplace Mobbing, is at all time highs. Employers, are scratching their heads, wondering why; many don’t want to return to work. It’s the Toxic Work Environment, in the United States. Workplace Mobbing, is rewarded in the United States Workplace. Those that are willing to lie, cheat, steal and ride on the backs of others; are the ones being promoted.
The title, The Morning After; is from the following morning of my last post (Contentment). In that post; I wrote the Gunfire ended. I spoke to soon. When I stepped out the next day, putting our solar panels out; the Gunfire started again. When I took Koda out to pee, at 7 am; there was a motorcycle waiting behind the hill. The one in the picture, the right foreground. He comes flying through the dry creek bed, to the left of our motorhome. You see it in the picture. I took it standing 5 foot, to the left of our motorhome. I play fetch with Koda there. In the mornings and some evenings. That's why they do it. The minion on the motorcycle, does a couple loops around the back of the motorhome, too. That day, we had the Loma, Colorado, Village Idiots firing high powered rifles. When we went out to move solar panels, and our morning walk. I solar for 95% of my electrical needs, and move them to get max output. They use the sun, to judge the time of day, and when I will come out. When I took Koda out to pee, for the evening; here comes another motorcycle, doing the same thing. But yes, Mr FBI Director and Local Law Enforcement; its all just a coincidence. As you would like the United States of America, and the world to think.
I need to move in my solar panels folks. Billy-Bob is waiting by the roadside. He wants to see if I bring Koda out, without a leash. Everything I’ve told you is real, and TRUE. Its not based on my feelings; as a VA staff member, tried to tell me today. It’s based on some of the best, military reconnaissance training, in the world. It’s based on 14 years, of documents, videos, pictures and conversations with other Targeted Individual, in the United States. Gang Stalking is real in the United States of America. Don’t let anyone tell you its not, or just a Conspiracy Theory (their normal Scape-Goat). Violence, is not the answer. Neither, is Mobbing someones house, or workplace. Educate yourself, speak out, us online venues, vote. If you look hard enough, you will find the truth. Please do, before it disappears; like so much, in American History. As I tried to upload this, I couldn’t log onto Flickr. Someone had changed my password. I had to reset it. Someone, also locked me out of my VA, online account. This is what happens when you tell the TRUTH, about the United States of America.
All photos and content, in my photostream are free to download, copy, print and share. All I ask; is you keep all copyright and logos on them. And, try and share something with someone in need. Even, if its time.
Thanks for visiting our photostream.
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In one of my favorite Charlotte County locations south of Drakes Branch—a field in late evening light in June.
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Japanese Garden also called as The Garden of Three Islands is one of the many gardens within the Chicago Botanical Gardens. Here it is indeed easy to overlook how the Japanese respect for nature and age are revealed. If you look closely, though, the effect is evocative, as seamless as a traditional haiku. The larger rocks are partially buried, as if they have been in place forever. Flowering plants have a short bloom time, reflecting the yin-yang balance between the ephemeral existence of human life and the timelessness of nature. Many of the trees are pruned and trained to give the illusion of age.
This 17-acre lakeside garden includes three islands. Only two (Island of Clear, Pure Breezes & Island of the Auspicious Cloud) are open to the public. Across the lake, the inaccessible island (Island of Everlasting Happiness) is symbolic of paradise—in sight yet elusive.
Sunset is particularly an awesome time to take a walk by the lake around these islands :)
One thing I’m aware of when I crossdress as a woman is just how much inner joy and excitement I feel. I am not unhappy with my life as a man yet when I dress up as a woman I feel more confident and at ease. I have no intention of ever becoming a woman full time through surgery and hormones but I definitely desire to spend time presenting as a female.
I have deep fears about this as the reality is I am not a woman and can never really know what that reality is like for real women. I am merely a facade and, the bottom line, a man enjoying himself wearing make-up and women’s clothing. I admit there is a part of me that always wanted to be a girl but I see this as a mild existence of transsexualism. It’s not enough to make me transition but I feel it is partly what motivates me to dress up as a woman.
I say dress up as that is undeniably an aspect I really enjoy. It is also a form of performance. I am playing a role I have created. Like an actor adopting a character for their performance. I do get into being my female alter-ego and have at times felt so at home when I become her that I am thrilled to believe I am a woman. Ultimately, I know I’m not and I am in that privileged position of enjoying myself wearing make-up, dresses, heels and shaving my legs. All that I do is create an illusion of being a woman. The reality for women is not all about make-up, hair, clothes and high heels. I’m aware I am focusing on aspects of femininity that men find attractive when women choose them. My fear is I am insulting women by doing this. For me I have a deep desire to dress up as a woman but I feel maybe I am indulging in a male fantasy of women. It’s an awareness that causes me some unease about my cross-dressing.
I find emotionally I do feel more free when I cross-dress and I become somewhat delusional. I find myself not wanting to be a man ever again. That emotion is powerful and it always occurs yet I know within a few hours it will lose it’s potency and I do return to being a man.
I like feeling feminine and I dream, oh how I dream, of looking feminine. I feel very much at home appearing as a woman and do experience a yearning for it to be real. I am also aware a part of me is enjoying the thrill of dressing up, the make-up, the wigs, the dresses and the high heels, it is more a case of female impersonation than being a true female.
I know my description of myself as a transvestite is a description most cross-dressers despise but the reality is I am a transvestite! I live as a man but I occasionally like to dress up as a woman. That dressing up does bring out emotional responses from within me and I do love the feeling of presenting myself as a woman. It enables the part of me that wishes I was girl some freedom and yet I always feel a bit like an actor playing a role.
I am genuinely thrilled I am a transvestite, I like being one and I like the knowledge I’m a man yet I can put on make-up and a dress and enjoy myself wearing them. It’s not what most men wish to do but since the growth of the Internet I have become aware that far more men than I ever could have imagined also enjoy dressing up as women. The term transvestite may not be popular but I am delighted to know there are a lot of us all over the world. As a teenager, I felt alone with my desire to dress up as a woman so it’s still a marvel to me to realise so many men feel the same way. Just browsing here on Flickr is proof of that!
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Forest of the Elves || Set: Fairy Tales || Peter Pan
Feat com a ceci
Peguei o psd dela, e dei uma modificada na tipografia e na posição das imagens, e acrescentei umas coisas
versão p&b: oi46.tinypic.com/jrsgg4.jpg
comentem na dela: www.flickr.com/photos/67901712@N08/7411712752/in/photostream
créditos ao tricky e ao ivvie.
Might as well post an image of this dress again. Had it on last night for a while just to remind myself what a fab number it is
I just got my birthday, Christmas, and many other occasions, present. A new lens! The lens I've been dreaming of for months - Canon 24-70 f/2.8. Unfortunately by the time I put it on the camera and went out to try it, the sun was going down at a racer's speed. I played with this shot in Photoshop to lighten it up a bit, but can't wait to test it again today in daylight!
View it large, the details are much better shown
....to a tree
A Civil War Soldiers letter to his wife.
Remembering Helen McCreary
In Search of Fall Colors in the Woods of Virginia.
IMG9583
As always in pre-christmas time people are quite busy and are running through the streets. At least these four girls had enough time for a group shot. I wonder if they have me on their picture. :-) See the details in the large version.
#4: As of 11/20/20, under Flickr's popularity rankings of my 2700+ pics, this is listed as #4 in "interestingness."
#22: As of 11/19/20, of my 2700+ pics, this is listed as #22 in most # of comments.
#190: As of 11/17/20, of my 2700+ pics, this is listed as #190 in most # of faves.
As described further in my September 22, 2020 Update on my flickr profile page, I have launched another retrospective series, this one featuring my earliest CD pics dating from 1989-2003. There are various reasons described there for rolling out this series, and know that this is not just a re-posting of old pics. This is a new more-authentic look at some classic pics of mine.
This pic is from Halloween 1995. After getting a makeover at a regular beauty salon in LA, and going out shopping en femme, I changed into the party dress seen here and went to get some long red acrylic nails put on at this nail salon. These were my first such nails, and (with the hair shaved off my hand) I was pleased with the very femme result. What do you think?
I hit the town for Halloween after this, in and around West Hollywood, and had a blast.
Let me know your thoughts... :-)
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Hauxley, went down at low/ medium tide this morning and the place was a mess.
Not much to photograph other than the off rock or bit of seaweed.
As the sunrise was naff, I waited until high tide to photograph these large sea defences. They make for a great LE subject.
EXPLORED - 07.01.17
These are grains of sand on seaweed by the seashore. They look like precious stones, and yet they are minuscule. Quite truly though, many things of infinite value are of very small size.
What would you like to have in the same amount as the grains of sand on the seashore?
Exif: ISO 100 ; f/2.8 ; 1/100 ; @100mm
As one can easily guess, this picture was not taken recently :-)
Nikon F3
Tamron 28-75mm 2.8
Luckyfilm ISO 100
Negativscan
Another day and another memory from my times cross-dressed as a woman. I wrote the other day of my preference for cross-dressing in private. I have only ventured out as a woman in public very rarely. I lack confidence in my ability to look female and this causes me a lot of angst on the few occasions I have been out in public cross-dressed.
One should ‘never say never’ as perhaps my confidence may grow in the future, who knows! At the moment I have to admit the few trips out I’ve had have proved more traumatic than pleasurable. I just could not relax or believe I looked like a woman.
I have tried and failed to develop a female persona and appearance to work in the real world and to be honest, this is an issue I genuinely don’t think I can overcome. I promised my wife and family I would only cross-dress in private so the rare trips out feel like I am betraying their trust. I feel bad as I am not being truthful with them. I had not admitted I was going to step out the door dressed as a woman and trying to pass myself off as a female. This awareness along with my lack of confidence with my cross-dressing abilities is what induces the fear and traumatic experiences. Instead of elation I just feel fearful. In private I have none of that and experience real joy, excitement and pure delight. In public I feel a failure.
So let me explain this picture. I am obviously in a car in a public place. I did in fact venture out soon after this picture. In fact, I recorded two videos of this trip. What is interesting, in the second video I express I am happy about it. I can admit son after the recording my mood went in the opposite direction and the fear kicked in once more.
I was fortunate to be accompanied by a friend on that trip. She was looking out for me and kindly recorded the video and took the stills. I doubt without her being with me I would ever have gone through with what I did.
I did find myself questioning myself. I was not at all sure just why I actually had to go out in public as a woman? I think as cross-dressers many of us are unconsciously steered that direction. There are male to female cross-dressers who are confident and at ease enough to go out in public as a woman. I admire their confidence. Not all of us though have such confidence. It’s interesting that despite my enjoyment of cross-dressing in private I feel like I am a failure because I only dress in private and do not go out in public. I know I shouldn’t feel that but I do. Despite my feelings of failure I am not actually motivated to go out in public as I don’t enjoy the angst and betrayal of trust with my wife and family.
I do enjoy recording the videos as my female self and I think this is probably my best outlet for expressing my female persona. As for this picture, I was very reluctant to get out of the car when the picture was taken. I’m smiling with nervousness and I was feeling incredibly anxious and just wanted to drive away. The two videos are a brief highlight of the whole experience. I wanted to be honest and explain after my final words the whole thing became overwhelming and the happiness I expressed on camera was soon replaced by angst!
I fear no evil because I'm blind in one eye and there's
four large jungle dogs at my side, they comfort me.
"Well, I came upon a man at the top of a hill,
he called himself the savior of all the human race.
Said he came to save the world from destruction and pain"
But I asked him, "How can you save the world from itself ?"
- This is my office, where I work - Planet of The Apes !
Thanks for all your comments and support ;-)
Thank You.
Jon&Crew.
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