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Hoy he vuelto a ser quien soy
La vida me regala la ocasión
Si, si en algo te ofendí
Te pido me perdones no es la intención
Todo vuelve a colapsar
Todo vuelve a ser normal
Solo hay que entender
Que nada es por siempre, por siempre
Todo después de un final
Todo vuelve a comenzar
Solo hay que entender
Que nada es por siempre
Todo vuelve a comenzar
Chicago, IL
April 21st, 2021
All photos © Joshua Mellin per the guidelines listed under "Owner settings" to the right.
This kind of says it all for me right now. I don't often say too much about my personal life but I am really struggling with this and it will pretty much effect the future.
Last week I was diagnosed as having Chronic Invasive Lung disease, in late stages. I have been really unwell all year but this came as a big shock. I am really very unwell right now and I have to say very scared.
Waiting to see the consultant again on August 1st and until then I do not know the prognosis but it doesn't feel good to me as in recent days I have been coughing up blood and am in the most unbearable pain. Even posing my dollies hurts and it is making me feel so sad as they give me so much pleasure.
Anyway, just saying as photos have been hard to get together and if I have not responded to photos I so apologise, just sometimes I am feeling so unwell, but I do read everything people leave and so value everyones' comments.
Thank you all, I have some wonderful friends here xxx
One day, I knew you
It seemed like I went back to my childhood
Just your embrace when I sleep is like a cradle
Your breath, your sighs, are like a lullaby
Only sometimes, I want to become a child
And sometimes, I realize
That no matter how I want to
Your hands are not always there to lock with mine
*These were children I saw collecting nice stones at the seashore. I asked them if they can model for me and they agreed.
Sometimes my head feels as though it is going to explode so many decisions and so many outcomes I tend to wonder if I make the right decisions. I'm stuck at the moment with one of the most hardest decisions yet, time is ticking and I need to decide fast. No matter what option I choose, I sacrifice something. The question is am I strong enough the make the necessary sacrifice.
Sometimes when you're on a roadtrip, driving in the heat, you have to pull over at a random roadside hotel and enjoy their pool. Jessica and I did just that and boy did it feel good!!!
Buttonwillow, CA 2009