My eldest boy Christopher who would have turned 18 yesterday Saturday 23rd September 2023 died at the scene of a horrific motorcycle accident at the corner of Forest Road and Roach Street in the Sydney suburb of Arncliffe whilst attempting to be resuscitated despite his injuries and best efforts to no avail 19:28 Sunday 17th September 2023 😭

Investigation is underway with the coroner to determine findings (accident investigation, cause of death and toxicology report) but we know after identifying Christopher’s body at the Coroner, Christopher’s body sustained violent high speed direct impact injuries both internal and external which are horrific at the least.... Christopher would have faced a poor quality of life and outcome if he survived but no matter what and unconditionally, I would have looked after and cared for my boy 😭 Christopher's body is yet to be released by the coroner

Christopher acquired his motorcycle license two weeks prior to his motorcycle accident, Christopher had never ridden motorcycles before.... We tried to brainwash Christopher into not buying a motorcycle but he was determined and would have gone down that path with or without my support so in light of his decision to buy a motorcycle commuting back and forth for work I took him shopping gifting him $700 for a helmet and gloves one week after acquiring his motorcycle license as an early birthday gift then we had lunch out spending the rest of day together…. Additionally I gave Christopher $3k towards the purchase of motorcycle which he would contribute $1.5k of savings…. Christopher went to buy a 2013 HONDA CB500F the following week 16:00 Sunday 17th September 2023 and on the way home lost control without any interference of another vehicle and violently slammed into a tree taking full brunt at 87kmh whilst in a 60kmh zone at 19:28 😭 It was a big motorcycle, I would have been afraid to ride it! Christopher had the motorcycle in his possession for less than four hours and never made it home down the driveway to show me in his enthusiasm 😭 You can’t imagine my guilt and feeling responsible regardless.... I can take it and own it! I will live with it and carry that shit on my back for the rest of my existence along with everything else accumulated thus far in my timeline and journey! 😐

All I wanted to do is support Christopher's effort and enthusiasm, he was making great strides, I wanted him to be happy and I contributed in killing him 😭 We discussed all week how I wanted to go with him to inspect and buy the motorcycle but insisted every time ‘no dad, my friend rides bikes’ and so they would go together.... I wanted to respect his decision and give him space to learn, be independent and grow not stepping on his toes so to speak but rather support him…. Christopher enthusiastically asked me the night before, when he comes home with the bike if I wanted to come downstairs to look at it with him and I said 'Christopher, its going to be dark by the time you get home but I'll wait for you downstairs on Monday to have a look when you get back from work' 😭 I am plagued and hunted by that conversation everyday! I knew Christopher was high risk, OMG what have I done, I can’t grasp and fathom it, I'm a fucking idiot and totally out of my mind supporting the idea of a motorcycle when I could have brought 10 cars for him! I am part of the chain of events that killed my lovely boy 😭

Christopher started his carpentry trade apprenticeship working 6 days per week a few months ago and was starting TAFE in October with officially being backdated…. Christopher would contribute 10% of earnings towards the household, would wake up for work on his own, clean up, wash and pick up after himself, was very pleasant to be around and was a fine young man to be proud of…. I am gutted and numb, how could this be a reality!

We talked for months about going out for lobster September 23rd to celebrate Christopher’s 18th birthday then have a few drinks at the bar, sadly we never made it for lobster and drinks 😭 Instead, Christopher’s friends and us 6 days after his death celebrated his 18th birthday roadside last night at the site of his accident which has turned into a shrine both day and night, setup a table with steamed dumplings and dim sims, Greek spanakopita (spinach and cheese pita) also spinach and cheese filled triangle puff pastries, mini meat pies and sausage rolls, custard layered sponge birthday cake with fruit and berries on top, baked his favorite homemade banana cake, icebox with beers and water also his favorite drink Galliano Sambuca…. Christopher’s inner circle of five all got the number 17 tattooed on their hand and they also ordered t-shirts to be made which were worn on the night

Christopher and I planned for so much, I use to make weekly BBQ smoked meats cooked low and slow with indirect charcoal, his favorite being pork ribs with honey, I would ask him every week what meat he wanted for the following week.... We were going to renovate, design and build an outdoors BBQ charcoal pit also wood fired oven, work on cars and bikes then develop a knockdown rebuild property turning into a duplex site or ideally terraces.... I told Christopher to keep his head down and keep doing what he was doing grinding out the routine because I was so proud of him and his progress, I told him that every day when he would come through the door after work.... I would buzz him up through the intercom and run to the door opening it to greet him then eager to warm up his food and serve him dinner, try to engage with 'how was your day and what were you working on?'…. I told Christopher we would go to Japan and South Korea for culture and street food next year also to Laos, Thailand and Vietnam another time.... I gave Christopher my old school custom lifted and locked 1995 Solid Axle LN106 Toyota Hilux yeah it was defected by police for illegal lift modifications and unregistered as a result which needed full pit inspection to pass for registration but it was going to be his (our) long term project and we were going to work on it together to restore and get it back on the road…. Christopher asked me to help him work on his bike when he got it and I said ‘yeah Christopher for sure’ 😭 I never got a chance to hear Christopher and the bike come down the driveway 😭

Christopher just started to get a taste for life - Girls, mateship, travel, work, money, responsibility, experimentation, vices, planning and decision making, independence and what a supporting family really meant in the real world outside of school as an adult and had the whole world in his palms 😭 Remember when you were 17? Christopher literally thought he turned into a man overnight and paid the ultimate price but in reality, Christopher was just a kid, my kid and I let him slip right through my fucking fingers and hands 😭

I must add and make no mistake, it was not all a bed of roses, strawberry cream, champagne, pot of gold at the end of a rainbow and certainly no fucking fairy tales! We had some tough times with Christopher after the last Sydney COVID lockdowns ended late 2021 after he was coerced like everyone one else in the population by our State Government into being jabbed twice with their vaccine poisons as this was in their own words 'the only path out of lockdown'.... Christopher started to smoke weed and drink alcohol also vape, skip school, not go to school, abruptly stopped doing homework and assignments, up until 4am on his phone, wake up at 2pm, became very aggressive and abusive, habitual lying, stealing money, street and park brawls, police coming to the house.... Christopher became an angry young man and we could not even talk to him without a supernova response.... Seems I was the source focus and cause to all his grievances.... Christopher's behavior increasingly exacerbated during the course of 2022, he had run away from home a few times then come back.... One time after coming back, Christopher crash tackled and assaulted me, ground and pounded on me whilst I was on the ground and stood over me like a UFC fighter, he meant it with hatred in his heart and had the eye of the tiger in his stare.... I cant even remember what was said for it to flare up and end up in a fight.... I know it sounds cowardly but Christopher was bigger, stronger, faster, unpredictable and extremely erratic…. I'm no push over, I grew up in tough migrant neighborhoods with hardship where violence, drugs and crime was normal along with the smell of death and misery filled the air so I've been around the block more than a few times and done it all, seen a lot in my time, more than most, self made and still going around the fucking block but I must admit and without shame, I was afraid of Christopher in my own home 😑 We didn’t know what to do but the fear of living in your home with your child like that was horrible…. I went away on a prospecting trip October 2022 for three weeks to have some respite and me time in the remote bush contemplating how to move forward, during this time things flared up at home and Christopher rampaged through the house destroying everything in his path, packed his bag and left again…. I cut my trip short to get back and try to deal with the aftermath…. Christopher’s behavior was out of control and I thought my boy would end up in the red light districts with needles in his arms overdosing in gutters, in/out of jail and mental health institutions or dead…. A week later Christopher returns, ends up at the door downstairs after moving from place to place sleeping on sofas and I tell him to put his bags down outside, to not bring his belongings in the house because we will go upstairs and talk in a civilized manner engaging and exchanging first and after hearing me out either he will agree to stay bringing his stuff up or he can take his stuff and go but he was to decide that and not us…. My terms were simple – No abusive behavior either verbally or physically, no slamming of doors or windows, no breaking of personal or household items, no drug use, phone off on or before 11pm and out of reach, finish school or find a job in a trade, respect and work around other people’s needs in the household, open communication so airing grievances and concerns, negotiation, when working contribute to the household also pay for personal and household items smashed in last rampage…. We never made it upstairs to talk, Christopher violently lashed out and came at me downstairs even before I got a chance to finish talking so my spouse and younger boy Constantine (16) intervened…. My spouse then drove Christopher to his grandmothers place where he stayed for a few months till they could no longer tolerate and support his behavior so Christopher voluntarily left before they kicked him out, went to stay at his mates place and that’s where he lived for the next five months till second week of May 2023 where I would take everyone out for dinner once per week including Christopher to figure out how to reintegrate him coming home and even if this proposal was possible…. We did that for six weeks once per week and I could not have asked for a better outcome, not for me or us but for Christopher whom made a complete turnaround, he was a changed man…. At Christopher's friend’s family house he would pay $100 per week in board, supply groceries along with toiletries and personal grooming items also cook his own meals and do his own laundry..... Christopher found a job in the early stages of moving into his friends family home, albeit unreliable work but was enough to pay his way week by week…. We monitored his progress behind the scenes through back channels trying to figure it all out with the good, the bad and the ugly.... That time away into the real world opened up his eyes to the reality of life outside of school and home changing his mindset perspective becoming reciprocal.... I was so proud of Christopher and his achievements moving forward…. As hard as it was for me as a parent, I supported him being away because it seems he was in a better frame of mind and became a better person being in the real world rather than at home with us and if that is what it took then so be it.... I was all for it, to sacrifice my needs to my child for his greater good, all the power to him.... Then when Christopher came home he was thin and malnourished but we nurtured him to good health and he continued to evolve, improve and positively progress, he was clearly not the same Christopher who left and we had also changed in the process…. Sadly, we only had Christopher at home for 10 weeks before he died 😭 and they were some of the best times I have had relating to Christopher as a man and mate, not a child I was raising.... What a privilege, honor and absolute pleasure! I didn't care that he drank and smoked weed explaining to him as long as it didn't interfere with his work, family, friends and relationships.... Young men will drink and smoke, that's what they do socially and I'm not a fucking fool, ignorant or arrogant as I too was a young man once upon a time.... What a waste of a young life with so much potential who barely touched and scratched the surface 😭

We have never been parents, the kids have never been kids, there are no rehearsals OR scripts OR 101 how to and guidebooks OR rules OR time on/off/out OR magic solutions OR money trees nor respawn only examples from our parents and what character traits along with values they possessed to display but that was all in a different time and generation so everything is trial and error but at the same time constantly challenging and changing dynamic settings/environments making the best decisions possible weighing up all the available information at hand in any given situation with so many directions to go in with variables

So now, once the Coroner releases Christopher’s body to our funeral director, I will inspect his body in full detail as I want to dress him then we will have a formal viewing another evening then when it is time for cremation, on the day Christopher will be driven past our home in the hearse also around where my mom Angeliki lived as they were very close right up to Angeliki’s death 31st October 2019, a few weeks before this SARS-CoV-2 (COVID-19) shit hit the fan in Wuhan, then the long slow drive to Macquarie Park Cemetery and Crematorium where we will have a 1.5 hour service at the Lotus Pavilion outdoor undercover Chapel attended by a Chinese Buddhist Monk whom will send Christopher with spiritual chant and prayer then Christopher will be moved to the onsite Crematorium which we will do a Witness Insertion…. We will then collect Christopher’s ashes at a later date in an Urn, transport them to the Chinese Mingyue Lay Buddhist Temple in Bonnyrigg where another ceremony will be conducted again by a Chinese Buddhist Monk onsite in the location where Christopher’s ashes will finally reside and permanently

OMFG NONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOO, Christopher was ONLY 17! My son Christopher was taken away from us by a fucking tree GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 👿

I was working on this pic for about a week back and forth, would show Christopher my progress at night, particularly when I figured out how to do the blades effects.... I was so excited to show him and he would say ‘yeah dad nice’ so this post is in honor of 🚳 My 17 year old Motorcycle Warrior 😭 RIP my lovely young man after your short existence in turmoil and toil, I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH 😭

If you have made it this far, I respectfully ask that you please share the link 🚳 My 17 year old Motorcycle Warrior 😭 with your friends, family, loved ones and other Flickr members so they can also read the description which for me helps keep the spirit and memory of Christopher alive

Thank you