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Almost the end of the month! :) When I started this project, I mainly began so I can attract followers and give them good daily photos. Lately, I feel like I should do this for ME. No matter how many followers I have.
I want to accomplish at least one project. Just for self-accomplishment, I guess.
Although, I do thank everyone who has ever commented or faved any of my images. You all push me to keep going when I feel like giving up on my self. No one to blame but myself. Hope you all enjoy my project!
On a sunny Sunday in January 2025, I took my Mamiya RZ67 for a walk around Steglitz. I wanted to take some black-and-white pictures of the Bierpinsel and a tunnel that is closed for construction.
I'm still getting used to this camera, but I am getting a handle on it and how to use it with a tripod. The results are getting closer to what I had in mind. I used an expired Rollei Superpan 200, and I blame it for the debris and the numbers that you can see in the pictures here.
Also, this was the first time I self-developed a film using Rodinal, and I'm happy with the results!
Pew!
In the Blame! universe, weapon’s pwning level is inversely proportional to their size. Be sure to remember it. For your own safety.
When posing, the weakest articulation is the knee double joint. The technic pins do not provide enough friction and collapse easily under weight. Anyway, cool poses can still be achieved without need for auxiliary supports.
you weren't perfect but you made life worth it. been a long time since i spoke to you. and i hope you are have a good time, cause i definitely be having mine. and i was satisfied being in love with the lie. who to blame? you to blame, me to blame, for the pain? and it poured every time when it rained.. let's play the blame game. things used to be, now they not. anything but us is who we are. we've become public enemies. we walk away like strangers in the street, gone for eternity. we erased one another. so far from where we came with so much of everything, how do we leave with nothing? lack of visual empathy equates the meaning of L-O-V-E. hatred and attitude tear us entirely.
Blame Angie for inspiring this one with her comment on another Costa coffee shot.
A large hot Costa Coffee with a hot cheese, tomato and herb toastie.
Just the way to start a cold day
"The Lord God called to the man after he had eaten of the tree. ‘Where are you?’ he asked. ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden;’ he replied ‘I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.’ ‘Who told you that you were naked?’ he asked ‘Have you been eating of the tree I forbade you to eat?’ The man replied, ‘It was the woman you put with me; she gave me the fruit, and I ate it.’ Then the Lord God asked the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman replied, ‘The serpent tempted me and I ate.’"
– Genesis 3:9-13, which is part of today's 1st reading at Mass.
My sermon for today can be read here.
Stained glass window from St Jean-Baptiste church in NYC.
first day as a trainee a HQ tech centre at Phoebe base:
...so after I was blamed for what later would be called the "crayfish incident" I got relocated from the lab to the spaceship repair workshop...
my day started at 0-0-0-23 standard Mid-system time the first quarter I got to know the Risk-tech leader, he told me that we were gonna repair the celebrity ace-pilot Pinkeydot, The Famous Erina Pinkeydot the "pink Baroness" I was so excited to meet her in the flesh, I mean golly Josh she is one of the most amazing Pilots in the fleet...
Dear Diary, eh I mean Trainee log... she started flying for the fleet at the age of only 12 had her first battle at 13 and was the sole survivor and winner!
...anyhow my trainee supervisor said that they didn´t manage to send her away at some "fake mission" in another ship since they were non available...
I thought to my self, Golly Josh!
why would they try to send her away, I mean I wouldn´t do that, I would be happy to meet her...
little did I know about her then other than her amazing feats in space battle!
0-0-0-25 Erina lands her ship in hangar docking bay berth 5B
she goes through the problems with her super-smack speed accelerator and the problems it cause to the Hyper-ventilator circuit and the Coffee-bunson burners!
0-0-0-27
I get to talk to her in private in the coffee-break room, I ask for an autograph she says: "well hun´I´ll give it to you if you undress down to your knickers for me and give me a kiss on the cheek!"
I laughed it off as a sort of lame joke...
Then she said I wasn´t kidding, then luckily my supervisor came back... puuh!
0-0-0-29 I and my Supervisor named Kahumba Freck started to investigate the damages with two of those amazing new hover-drones where you get a VR-view from the hover-bots position on a visor, I got to try out the VR equipment, really amazing!
0-0-0-34
Working really hard together we managed to pinpoint the cause of the problem it was a micro-deflator which had gotten jammed in the Hyper-ventilator ditch, it was mendable, but a relly high dexterity macro-micro typer of work, but luckily we had our two hover-drones to use...
0-0-0-41 after some hard work we had the Deflator almost pinned down to the module, just a nanometer to go, when a bunch of screaming humanoid service droids made my boss lose focus and the joypad took a joyride all around so we dropped the micro component just as we were so close of completing the circuit!
The cause of the screaming bot, yes you guessed, it was Erina watching at their most private moment, when they are "undressed of parts" and getting re-oiled!
well, I am too tired to write more I will try to recall the rest i my log tomorrow, since I got so worn out by this day, not my trainee workmanship, but by Erina, she is really a omnisexual predator, I really understand why she is always away fighting, no one can stand being with her...
well enough said, oh wait tomorrow we are gonna service another celebrity ace-pilor Miss Gray... I hope she isn´t like the "pink Baroness" because if she is, I need another transfer, since then it must be something wrong with the Pilots, perhaps I could be a trainee at the garbage decomposition site?
- Work log Over and out !
The Manhattan Bridge is a suspension bridge that crosses the East River in New York City, connecting Lower Manhattan at Canal Street with Downtown Brooklyn at the Flatbush Avenue Extension. The main span is 1,470 ft (448 m) long, with the suspension cables being 3,224 ft (983 m) long. The bridge's total length is 6,855 ft (2,089 m). It is one of four toll-free bridges spanning the East River; the other three are the Queensboro, Williamsburg, and Brooklyn Bridges.
The bridge opened to traffic on December 31, 1909. It was built by The Phoenix Bridge Company and designed by Leon Moisseiff, and is noted for its innovative design. As the first suspension bridge to employ Josef Melan's deflection theory for the stiffening of its deck, it is considered to be the forerunner of modern suspension bridges, and this design served as the model for many of the long-span suspension bridges built in the first half of the twentieth century. The Manhattan Bridge was also the first suspension bridge to utilize a Warren truss in its design.
History
The Manhattan Bridge was the last of the three suspension bridges built across the lower East River, following the Brooklyn and Williamsburg Bridges. In the earliest plans, the Manhattan Bridge was to have been called "Bridge No. 3" because it was the third bridge to be built. The Manhattan Bridge's current name was given in 1902. The name was confirmed in 1904. The New York Times criticized the name as "meaningless" and that the Manhattan Bridge's name "would have geographical and historical significance if it were known as the Wallabout Bridge". This was a reference to Wallabout Bay, located near the proposed bridge's Brooklyn side. In 1905, the Times raised another objection, stating, "All bridges across the East River are Manhattan bridges. When there was only one, it was well enough to call it the Brooklyn Bridge, or the East River Bridge".
Construction
Construction on the bridge's towers had commenced by at least 1901. By 1903, three workers had died while working on the Brooklyn-side tower's caisson. A $10 million grant for the bridge's construction was granted in May 1904 with the expectation that work on the span would start later that year.
A plan for the suspension-bridge span was announced in 1903. Elevated and trolley routes would use the Manhattan Bridge, and there would be large balconies and enormous spaces within the towers' anchorages. However, the Municipal Art Commission raised objections to one of the bridge's plans, which delayed the start of construction for the span. Another set of plans was unveiled in June 1904 by New York City Bridge Commissioner Gustav Lindenthal, but the second plan was also rejected. The dispute revolved around whether eyebars or wire cables should be used in the new bridge. The MAC voted to use wire cables in the bridge in September 1904. Because of this dispute, the plans for Manhattan Bridge are sometimes mistakenly attributed to Lindenthal. Other delays arose over the proposed placement of the bridge's termini on either side.
The Manhattan Bridge under construction in March 1909
The first temporary wire between the Manhattan Bridge's two towers was strung in June 1908. It was to be replaced later with permanent, thicker main cables, each 21 inches (53 cm) thick, on both sides of the bridge's deck. By this time, the construction cost had increased to $22 million. During the stringing of the anchorages, one of the cables on the Brooklyn side broke loose, injuring two people. The last of the suspender ropes supporting the main cables was strung in December of that year. The cables had been strung in four months, The construction of the bridge span required 30,000 tons of steel. Erection of the superstructure and steel fabrication were contracted to The Phoenix Bridge Company. The first girder for the new bridge was installed in February 1909. By April, the majority of the span had been fitted into place between the main cables.
The New York City Rapid Transit Commission recommended the construction of a subway line across the Manhattan Bridge in 1905. This line was approved in 1907. The New York City Public Service Commission requested permission to start constructing the subway tracks in March 1908. This plan was approved in May.
A group of 100 "leading citizens of Brooklyn" walked over the bridge on December 5, 1909, marking the unofficial completion of the bridge. The bridge was officially opened by outgoing Mayor George B. McClellan Jr. on December 31, 1909. Shortly after opening, a fire on the Brooklyn side of the Manhattan Bridge damaged the structure.
Later history
Floodlights and barbed-wire fences were installed at the bases of the bridge's anchorages in 1951, during the Cold War. The installations were fortified to protect against "possible sabotage attempts under wartime conditions". The anchorages themselves were sealed.
The subway trains crossing the Manhattan Bridge had a major impact on its condition (see § Trackage history), and the bridge started to tilt to one side based on how many trains used that side. This had supposedly been a problem since the tracks opened in 1917. In 1956, the bridge was renovated in order to rectify this tilt. However, by 1978, the Manhattan Bridge had deteriorated to such a point that the United States Congress voted to allocate money to repair the bridge, as well as several others in New York City. Minor repair work started in 1982. A discretionary grant for $50 million was allocated to these bridges' repairs in 1985. The first phase of repairs started that year. The bridge's condition was blamed on the imbalance in the number of trains crossing the bridge, as well as deferred maintenance during the New York City fiscal crisis of the 1970s.
In April 1986, workers temporarily closed the Manhattan-bound roadway on the upper level in order to repair the deck there. The north-side subway tracks, underneath the Manhattan-bound roadway, were also closed during this time. In December 1987, inspectors also shut one lane of the lower level due to a crack in the deck. The New York City Department of Transportation published a list of 17 structurally deficient bridges in the city. Among them was the Manhattan Bridge, which needed $166 million in repairs to fix "cable anchors and torsion of steel members as subways cross". Repairs on the northern side of the Manhattan Bridge were complete by the end of 1988, and the subway tracks on the north side were reopened. Simultaneous with the reopening of the north side, the south-side tracks were closed.[48] In 1991, trucks were banned from the lower level because they were too heavy for the decaying bridge.
"Major" repair work on the southern side began in 1992. The Yonkers Construction Company was awarded a $97.8 million contract for the repair project in August 1992. City Comptroller Elizabeth Holtzman originally denied the contract to the company because of concerns about corruption, but she was overridden by Mayor David Dinkins, who wanted to complete repairs quickly. At the same time, the NYCDOT increased the frequency of maintenance inspections for the bridge, after inspectors found holes in beams that had been deemed structurally sound during previous inspections. The Brooklyn-bound roadway on the upper level was closed from 1993 to 1996 so that side of the bridge could be repaired. The bridge repairs were repeatedly delayed as the renovation process uncovered more serious structural problems underlying the bridge. The original plans had been to complete the renovations by 1995 for $150 million, but by 1996, the renovation was slated to be complete in 2003 at a cost of $452 million. By 2001, it was estimated that the total cost of the renovations had reached half a billion dollars, including $260 million for the south side and another $175 million for the north side. At the time, the NYCDOT had set a January 2004 deadline for the renovation.
The original pedestrian walkway on the south side of the bridge was reopened after forty years in June 2001. It was shared with bicycles until late summer 2004, when a dedicated bicycle path was opened on the north side of the bridge. The northern bridge bike path is notable for poor signage that leads to cyclist and pedestrian conflicts. By the time work on the bridge was completed in 2004, the final cost of the renovation totaled $800 million.
To celebrate the bridge's centennial anniversary, a series of events and exhibits were organized by the New York City Bridge Centennial Commission in October 2009. These included a ceremonial parade across the Manhattan Bridge on the morning of October 4 and a fireworks display in the evening.[57] In 2009, the bridge was designated as a National Historic Civil Engineering Landmark by the American Society of Civil Engineers.
The Eurasian blue tit is a small passerine bird in the tit family Paridae. It is easily recognizable by its blue and yellow plumage and small size.
Model Faith Breese
Dress: bespoke handmade by Ann Rose
Hat and parasol: Ebay
34,361 and rising - this is Europe's migrant dead bodycount as at June 2018. (according to Dutch NGO, United for Intercultural Action, as reported in the Guardian).
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Pictures of drowned children, dusky skinned and dressed in "refugee" clothes are easy now to overlook. They look different, they are somebody's else's children, removed a few degrees from our own by colour and fashion to make us more unpitying to their plight. Their deaths somehow just don't quite register the same on most of us. They wash up like driftwood on our shores.
I did this shoot with English Roses, 5 year old Megan and her 12 year old sister Faith, dressing them in fashionable clothes, hoping the look may make people see differently. "Normal" looking white middle class childten. I've got no doubt I will get criticised for these images. Bad taste, sick, urgh, what was her mother thinking letting her kids pose for these shots. Oooh the concept of their death to us is shocking, distasteful, heartbreaking. Like all children's deaths * should * be - which is my point, it could be ANYBODY'S CHILD.
By the way, I don't believe an open door policy to economic migrants is wise, especially not to a country whose Benefits and Health system is limping along awaiting imminent collapse, but whatever one thinks or doesn't think of the politics of migration, it's hard not to sympathise for those striving for better living standards only to lose their lives or their children's lives at sea. I can't blame them - I'd do exactly the same in their shoes - wouldn't you?
Yep, I do!
Well, this just happened. :D
And Frogs.
And too much boredom.
And blaming Simon, of course. :D
Just for Information, I blame him, for making me build Micro-GARCs, and now I can't stop.. RAAAAAAA.. So yeah, thats the whole story. :D Btw, Simon your Mocs are awesome!
Want to learn how this image was created?
View the Before and After Comparison of this photo.
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spin that wheel
This is a main hub inside of the (humongous) Dubai Mall. And what exactly was I doing in a shopping mall?
In order to avoid the question, allow me to explain today’s post in “Wheel of Fortune” format:
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I_TE_G_L_CTIC S_OPPI_G SP_EE
(Pat Sajak) Eli, spin that wheel!
*bleep*bleep*bleep**bleep**bleep***bleep****bleep*****bleep*******bleep**********bleep
(Eli) I’d like to buy a vouel. “A”
(Pat Sajak) Yes, there are 2 As
I_TE_GALACTIC S_OPPI_G SP_EE
(Eli) hmm, I’d like to solve the puzzle, please. Is it: INTERGALACTIC SHOPPING SPREE?
*extended dramatic silence
(Pat Sajak) YES! Eli, you’re moving on to the bonus round!
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Technical Mumbo Jumbo:
- Nikon D700 - Nikkor 14-24 f/2.8 @ 18mm f/2.8 Iso: 100 / 5 (handheld) Exposure Brackets (-2,-1,0,1,2)
- HDR Photography Processing & Tone Mapping using Photomatix Pro
- Post Processing & Color Correction using Photoshop
- Enhanced detail with Nik Software Sharpener Pro
- Additional enhancement with Topaz Detail
- Visited the foodcourt
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Don't forget to view the HDR Before and After Comparison and follow My Daily HDR Photo Blog
For HDR tips, tutorials, and to view HDR Photography before and afters, visit: www.blamethemonkey.com
* All comments are welcome & Monkey Business is strongly encouraged. Thanks for viewing!
Today's experiment was to capture pictures using my Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 macro lens.
I have been frustrated for quite a while now by the lack of crispness when using my 70-300mm IS lens. It turns out there is a service notice on the lens because in portrait mode the lens has soft focus. Well, I have soft focus 24/7, so that's a good excuse to send my lens back to Canon (which I was going to do anyway, but now this way hopefully it'll all be resolved under the service notice for free).
The second part of resolving the 70-300 issues was, for my own sanity, to take some shots using another lens to prove that the camera (and my technique) were not to blame for the lack of sharpness in the photos. I think the photo above is reasonable proof that the camera is capable of resolving detail quite nicely, and my 70-300 sucks. I'll be shipping the 70-300 to Canon on Monday, so maybe in a few weeks I'll be giggling like an idiot if it comes back taking sharp pictures again.
Rant over ;-)
I think that some of my past abandonment issues along with other problems with opening up to people really stemmed from my parents and their toxic relationship. There was a messy divorce when I was 5 years old, they fought a lot even afterward and that definitely hurt more than it helped us kids. My dad eventually married again and had another family, and although my dad kept in contact through email (early 2000’s) and an occasional phone call our visits grew far and few between. I always wanted to be the light of my dads life, always getting good grades and trying to be the best well mannered kid that ate all of her vegetables and impressed all of the adults. I held out hope that my parents would get back together and I blamed my moms resentful demeanor towards him as the reason why I would never belong to a happy and whole family. In my adolescence though I grew more and more angry at how HE handled things and understood more why she had her outbursts and nights crying in her room. When I finally stood up to him about how he essentially disowned my little sister he cut off contact. I not only grew up thinking I wasn’t worthy of love after my father left but also had no idea of what love looked like. I’ve looked back on a lot of my adult relationships and realized I self sabotage when things start to get really real. I push people away to see if they really care about me.
7 years ago I started dating a guy who I was so overwhelmingly into, he was from a good family, he just got out of the Army, and we had a matching sense of humor. Great right?! But I was the one texting/calling him and trying to make plans, only recently did I realize that I was simply seeking his approval (just like I had with my father) and wondering why I wasn’t good enough to be thought of first. We started dating which I was over the moon about because OH MY GOD HE PICKED ME but soon after I noticed he had bouts of rage but I chocked it up to PTSD from Afghanistan. I stuck through it and I got pregnant after the holidays in 2015.
I got the news and told him the same day but he was less than thrilled and it actually looked like the blood drained from his face. Thats when the switch flipped. He told me he wanted me to get an abortion and that he didn’t want to have a kid with me or anyone. He was cold and heartless for the whole month before I went to the abortion clinic. The day of my appointment, I was sad. I remember my mom texted me that morning telling me she loved me and I wore my late grandmothers comfy sweater so I would feel like I had some support. My ride had to cancel because it snowed so HE had to drive me. He sat with me in the waiting room but I felt utterly alone, he was even joking with his friend via text saying that he was “at the clinic, where miracles go to die” and showed me it thinking I would laugh. I didn’t, I took the phone and threw it across the room. They have you speak with a psychiatrist before you go in and ask you questions like “are you being pressured into this?” Then I was asked “Why are you doing this?” To which I replied “Because I feel like I have nothing to offer a child” and the response that I got was one I’ll never forget and still brings tears to my eyes “you have yourself to offer”. But to me I wasn’t good enough, or so that’s what I had thought all my life. So, I went into the back room, and I got put under during the procedure. I woke up groggy and already sobbing uncontrollably. I was comforted by the nurses briefly and then carted into a room to “recover” for 30 minutes before I could leave. We drove home and even though it was late in the afternoon I went straight to bed and slept.
Two weeks later I found out I had been cheated on for almost my entire relationship. I found out I was pregnant again. I wasn’t sure what to do about my newly ended relationship but I knew I wasn’t going to give up my invitation to motherhood like before. I wasn’t going to let anyone sway my decision, even if that meant raising my child alone. For the whole first trimester of my pregnancy he told me he hoped I had a miscarriage, asked me “if it was still alive” and told me to have another abortion. I didn’t even live with him and he was relentless. I couldn’t sleep, I ate only because I knew I had to, and spent most of my days in my bedroom binging shows or going to the gym. I was depressed and I don’t use that term lightly. I couldn’t keep a job and felt like my world was imploding, I didn’t know what was next but I knew I had hope as long as my child was healthy and I could take care of him.
When we found out it was a boy it’s almost like the switch flipped on again and he was excited for his son to be born. I ended up moving back in with my sons father and for the next 4 years I was treated as a guest in his home and told that I was worthless and to kill myself. I tried to seek help and talk about it with his family but the blind eye kept being turned. I felt that because he was so narcissistic that no one bothered to speak up to him. His mother did, with the first pregnancy, and I’ll always be thankful for that. But the years of emotional and verbal abuse afterward took a huge chunk out of me as an individual. My mother spoke up when I told her that he said to kill myself for about the 8th time but that didn’t stop him from getting in my face from time to time and yelling at me to get the fuck out of his house and to leave our son there. He had a heavy drinking problem and one night pissed on the floor in the bathroom because he couldn’t stand straight, as I stood there in disbelief my son who was 3 years old at the time asked me “why is daddy doing that?” And I decided then that we needed to move out.
After a while I ended up getting my own place a few towns away and he had already been talking to a woman he met online. That was difficult for me only because she has a son almost the same age as mine and not only had I felt instantly replaced but my son was confused as well, and it didn’t make matters easier when he had them move in a few months later. I was out of control with my anger and resentment and started to see a pattern I had seen in my childhood. I would blow up over the phone, name call, and I tried to control the situation any way I knew how.
It wasn’t until mid March of 2020 that I decided I needed to seek real help. I went to my doctor because I had been crying so much and felt like every day was just a blur into the next. I knew that my son deserved better than to see me like that and immediately started therapy and Serotonin inhibitors. My healing process hasn’t been ideal or easy but I guess when you have a major life shift there’s a lot of soul work that needs to be done. I kept up with my therapist and my meds and did a ton of self care. The best advice I can give to anyone is do whatever is self care for you. Take a shower, shave your legs, paint your nails, play with your dog, visit or call friends or family you know love you, sit on the couch and read/write, paint, just do anything that makes you feel even the slightest bit alive because those are the things that kept me going on the hard days. It was really crucial for me that I had a support system, and even when I felt like I didn’t want to talk about something with a loved one I went straight to my therapist or wrote in my journal.
I really wanted to share my experiences to help another person who may have gone through something similar. I feel that sharing our downfalls and our failures brings people together more than pretending our lives are hunky-dory. But even if no one gets any insight or clarity from this, it has helped me IMMENSELY to write it down and let that shit go. I still have a long way to go in realizing what is healthy in a relationship, I recently I lost someone who I truly believed to be the love of my life because of my own toxic behavior. It’s all about coming back to yourself and not expecting anyone else to do the work for you. It’s an uphill climb coming out of a dark hole and remembering who YOU are and what YOU love and where YOU came from but as the pieces come back it’s the most beautiful and grounding thing. We’re learning (and unlearning!) as we go and everyone has their own set of traumas and difficulties, but make sure that you’re not building your wall so high that you’re keeping out the good people too. Love and light to anyone whose read this.