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„My story is in fact that I am a diptych which is not all that comfortable sometimes.“
Dean Scully
das Gebäude dreht sich um das Mobile ... das Mobile dreht sich im Raum ...
;-) ...
2x
ƒ/6.3
14.0 mm
1/80
100
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Just when you seek a moment's peace,
Let magazines your thoughts release,
For in their pages, stories rhyme,
In paperbound whispers, through all time.
My Wonderful boys Rupert and Razzle. They are my world, my life and my worth xx
Hope you are all doing ok? xxx
Taken beside the Strathmore/Hope Road north of Altnaharra: a scene full of time from distant mountains to history of the foreground disused shepherd's house surrounded by former grazing terraces.
“There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved
It can happen to anyone, from any walk of life.
20 years ago I had a career that I was incredibly proud of, saving lives, I had a home, mortgage, car and disposable income. I was confident and, even though I hate to blow my own trumpet, I was incredibly good at the work that I did.
I was, however, bullied, harassed, abused, belittled and ostracised by management and many colleagues in a toxic environment where this behaviour had spread like a cancer. This went on daily for 13 years. I thought that I was 'ignoring' it and just knuckling down in my work. I didn't know, until it was too late, that this was damaging both my physical and mental health.
After some time off due to a stress breakdown I returned and the bullying turned into a witch hunt. They succeeded. My mental and physical health had been destroyed. I was wrongly advised to resign by a union that had representatives embedded in management. I was too unwell to pursue any means of recompense.
Losing my career lead to my first Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy attack. This one was nearly fatal.
I have suffered from Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) for at least 20 years as a direct result of this. Only finally receiving help for the condition last year after years of medical denial because the establishment at the time did not understand the connection between non-life threatening instances and PTSD despite mounting evidence. Thankfully it is much better understood today.
The bullies took my career, my confidence, my identity, my physical health, my mental health and now they have taken my relationship and my home. My ex being unable to cope with my PTSD and reacting to it in a way that was making it worse in a cycle that just destroyed our relationship.
Now, unable to work and unable to claim benefits for the moment, unwell, terrified and struggling at times to cope with basic life things, I am facing this horrendous situation that is so daunting there are times that my thoughts go to a very dark place.
I never imagined any of this would happen to me. I was on top of the world back in the early 2000s. The best time of my entire life.
Maybe I deserved this. Maybe I did something terrible in a former life. I don't know. I can't make sense of it.
I don't want to give up just yet. I want to fight back. I just have so little actual physical support. PTSD can cause isolation. Distrust. Withdrawal.
I have lost my few best friends since moving to Scotland for numerous reasons outside of my control. My family are 300 miles away and offer just loving thoughts. I am on my own.
On Friday I will be completely on my own for the first time in 20 years. This time without the confidence and abilities I had back then. I have to try and find them but without safety, comfort and familiarity I face an impossible task. It can take monumental effort just to cook a simple meal. PTSD is a terrible thing to have.
I am sharing my story as I don't know when or how I will return to Flickr.
Photography has been my recovery. My saviour from PTSD. An adrenaline kick from street photography, the excitement of the edit when you return home. Sharing my photographs with you and taking time to enjoy your photographs. The Flickr routine has kept my sanity and been an important part of my day for years now. I fully intend to return but the odds are against me at least for the moment.
Some of you wanted to help by donating towards the expensive Internet costs I will face in temporary housing.
I hate asking for help but please know that I am incredibly grateful for the help that I have received, both financially and otherwise. Just knowing that people care is a help in itself.
If you wish to keep in touch with me via WhatsApp while I am unable to get my PC online then please Flickrmail me your contact details. (bearing in mind that over the next few days my time is limited).
My PC will be packed tomorrow so I may make one more post before I go. I'll make sure it is a happier picture.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am profoundly thankful for the friendships and acquaintances that I have made here. You are all wonderful, awesome people. Thank you.
Homelessness can happen to anyone.
Remains of an old homestead in the Arkansas Woods.
Winter 1986/87
Minolta X370 Minolta Rokkor MD 45mm f2.
Kodak Gold 200
B&W conversion Lightroom Classic
My photograph taken from a flat-screen tv and digitally altered. Source: film "The Great Gatsby" (2013).
Included in the gallery The Making of a Story www.flickr.com/photos/soniaadammurray/galleries/721576328...
American Oystercatcher (Haematopus palliatus)
New Jersey
A reprocess and post of this older image..
This is the first image in a three image set, which will show this Oystercatchers mollusc feeding technique. Each image will tell a bit of the story...
The Oystercatchers long orange bill is not only for probing in the sand and mud, but is excellent at prying open molluscs like clams and mussels. I've read that some Oystercatchers have a more blunt shaped bill tip and will use it to smash open the shell of some molluscs species to get at its meat. Although I can't imagine the bill being strong enough to smash through this hardshell Cherrystone Clam.
When this Oystercatcher (pictured above) located a clam. It pryed it open, then worked it around a bit and sniped the adducter muscle (which opens and closes the clam) and split the clam in half exposing the clams soft edible tissues.
Shell and Autumn loved the new canopy bed.
"I think we could sit here and talk ALL night, don't you, Autumn?" Shell asked.
"I think so, too, Shell! The canopy is so magical! I love lace! And the coverlet- oh! It's so dainty!"
"What's this I hear about talking all night, you two?!" I laughed because little bears are always talking. "I think talking through naptime will be enough today!"
Happy Teddy Bear Tuesday!
Earlier in the year, I bought a bunch of "stuff" at the auction we frequent. There were pieces of a little canopy bed, made by The House of Miniatures that I thought was worth a try putting back together. Let me just say that miniatures in ANY sense of the word are difficult and fiddly things! But I learned a lot and managed it! Ken was terrified to see me drilling with the tiniest bit he had!
The original tiny mattress and canopy were an old and dirty fabric. I happened to have one little bit of a vintage fabric that I thought was perfect for the mattress cover, and managed to make a pillow with the remainder. The tiny coverlet here is a dainty vintage lady's handkerchief, and the canopy is a vintage doily.
(I am averaging 1 post for an hour. Ugh. AT&T sucks)
That is a story of shepherds live in Anatolian peninsula. Based on the story, each shepherds turn to a tree when they die. To show their thankfulness and respect to nature. I couldn't stop my self to think about that story when I saw this lovely 76 years old shepherd and the trees on the left side in this photo BeNowMeHere, Anatolia, Turkey, 2016 via 500px bit.ly/1VUNZLw
Season Finale in the Planet of the Dogs Series....
...maybe....
Canon 80D
EF-S10-18mm f/4.5-5.6 IS STM
Last month I had a Flickrmail from a young Californian man called James. He told me that his girlfriend Emmi was studying in Ireland and he was about to travel over to Ireland to meet up with her on St. Patrick's Day. James said that he was planning to propose to Emmi during his visit and wanted my advise on a nice quiet and scenic coastal location in Dublin for the proposal. Wow, talk about putting me under pressure, LOL! After a little thought I suggested the above elevated location in a large parkland at Killiney Hill and gave him detailed directions.
I didn't think I would hear from James again. However earlier this week I got another Flickrmail from a very happy James. He told me that the proposal went very well on Killiney Hill and that they both loved the location! So I'm sure you will all join me in congratulating James and Emmi on their Irish engagement.
I took the above shot a few days ago as a little tribute to the happy couple while I was up for a regular walk on Killiney Hill. The inserts are photos from James and Emmi which they took themselves on Killiney Hill just after the successful proposal. Yes I know the blended image is probably a bit mushy and sentimental...but I'm an incurable romantic, LOL!
You can visit James and Emmi's Irish proposal page photos at www.flickr.com/photos/jamesemmi/page22/
(Reached #167 on Explore)
I stand groggy at the door while Boo goes out to woof a couple of times. If I'm lucky she pees, too.
in the time of corona.
captured on the outside camera.
The last moments of sunlight mixed with color from the sky and the cooling off the dunes inside Death Valley National Park. If you REALLY want to see how amazing this is have a look here.... www.aaronreedphotography.com/photo/shadow-stories-death-v...
Featuring a bunch of beautiful Nutmeg:
Nutmeg Quiet Daybreak
Nutmeg. Gentle Melody Frames
Nutmeg. Quiet Daybreak Cabinet
Nutmeg. Quiet Daybreak Rug
Nutmeg. Home Clutter Basket
Nutmeg. Home Clutter Rolled Up Rugs
Nutmeg. Classic Bedroom Bench w/Throw Adult
Nutmeg. Classic Bedroom Lamp Long
Nutmeg. Classic Bedroom Clutter
Nutmeg. Cottage Lounge Books
Nutmeg. In Bloom Table
Nutmeg. In Bloom Vase
Nutmeg. In Bloom Armchair
Nutmeg. Home At Last Blanket Pile Bonus Item
Nutmeg. Homely Comfort Decorated Dresser
Nutmeg Mainstore: maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/REKA%20NUTMEG/233/125/21
Nutmeg Flickr: flic.kr/ps/Yr6Sn
Misc:
HISA - Floral Bouquet Vines
Pitaya - French lavabo
Thanks so much for all the support! I really do appreciate it! 😊