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Straight from the Book of Genesis: "And lo, God did tell Adam that one day the Sons of Adam would have a protector named Jeebus, and the bees and the trees would demand that Jeebus be guarded by a vigilant redneck eating legs of crispy chicken from a colorful bucket."
"Muh truuuuuuuck is so redneck, even got camo on muh dashboard. 'Murca! Got muh big truuuuuuuck ... empty bed, hauling nothing. Gotta drive to muh jerb and pick up some groceries. Gots me sum big 'ol tires and big suspension so muh 4x4 truck can handle really intense terrain, like all these smooth, paved roads I drive on all the time. I don't believe in climate change and I don't believe in seat belts neither."