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Attachment theory describes several behavioural systems, the function of which is to regulate human attachment, fear, exploration, care-giving, peer-affiliation and sex. Attachment is defined as any form of behaviour that results in a person attaining and retaining proximity to a differentiated other. The primary caregiver is the source of the infants stress regulation and, therefore, sense of safety and security. Attachment theory emphasises the role of the parent as mediator, reflector and moderator of the childs mind and the childs reliance on the parent to respond to their affective states in ways that are contingent to their internal experience, a process often referred to as secure base/safe haven functioning. Within the close parent-child relationship neural networks dedicated to feelings of safety and danger, attachment and the core sense of self are sculpted and shaped. These networks are conceptualised as internal working models of attachment.
Characteristic patterns of interaction operating within the familys caregiving-attachment system give rise to secure, insecure and disorganized patterns of attachment. These discrete patterns have been categorized using the Strange Situation research procedure, which observes the young childs behaviour when separated and reunited with his or her primary caregiver. Attachment patterns are represented in the childs internal working models of self-other relationships. Secure attachment is promoted by the interactive regulation of affect, which facilitates the recognition, labelling and evaluation of emotional and intentional states in the self and in others, a capacity known as reflective function or mentalization. The recognition of affects as having dynamic, transactional properties is the key to understanding behaviour in oneself and in another. The child comes to recognize his or her mental states as meaningful self-states via a process of parental affect mirroring and marking. Secure children are able to use sophisticated cognitive strategies to integrate and resolve their fear of separation and loss.
When the parent is unavailable, inconsistent or unpredictable, the infant develops one of two organized insecure patterns of attachment: avoidant or ambivalent-resistant. These defensive strategies involve either the deactivation or hyper-activation of the attachment system. Deactivation is characterized by avoidance of the caregiver and by emotional detachment. In effect, the avoidant child immobilizes the attachment system by excluding thoughts and feelings that normally activate the system. Hyper-activation is manifested by an enmeshed ambivalent preoccupation with the caregiver and with negative emotions, particularly anger. However, in common with the avoidant child, the ambivalent child appears to cognitively disconnect feelings from the situation that elicited the distress. Disorganised-disoriented attachment is discussed below.
Attachment research, then, demonstrates that discrete patterns of secure, insecure, and disorganized attachment have as their precursor a specific pattern of caregiver-infant interaction and their own behavioural sequelae. Repeated patterns of interpersonal experience are encoded in implicit-procedural memory and conceptualized as self-other working models of attachment. These mental models consist of generalized beliefs and expectations about relationships between the self and key attachment figures, not the least of which concerns ones worthiness to receive love and care from others.
In sum, the care-giving environment generally, and the infant-caregiver attachment relationship particularly, initiate the child along one of an array of potential developmental pathways. Disturbance of attachment is the outcome of a series of deviations that take the child increasingly further from adaptive functioning. Child abuse and cumulative developmental trauma violate the childs sense of trust, identity and agency and have pernicious and seminal influences on the developing personality. In essence, internal working models of early attachment relationships provide the templates for psychopathology in later life, which may include violent, destructive and self-destructive forms of behaviour. In attachment theory, the main purpose of defence is the regulation of emotions. The primary mechanisms for achieving this are distance regulation and the defensive exclusion of thoughts and feelings associated with attachment trauma.
Early trauma in the form of abuse, loss, neglect and severe parent-child misattunement compromises brain-mediated functions such as attachment, empathy and affect regulation. From an attachment theory perspective, patterns of attachment are encoded and stored as generalized relational patterns in the systems of implicit memory. These are conceptualized as cognitive-affective internal working models which are seen as mediating how we think and feel about ourselves, others and the relationships we develop. Although open to change and modification in the light of new attachment experiences, whether positive or negative, these non-conscious procedural models, scripts or schemas within which early stress and trauma are retained, tend to persevere and guide, appraise and predict attachment-related thoughts, feelings and behaviours throughout the life cycle via the implicit memory system. Psychopathology is seen as deriving from an accumulation of maladaptive interactional patterns that result in character traits and personality types and disorders.
Disorganised attachment may occur when the childs parent is both the source of fear and the only protective figure to whom to turn to resolve stress and anxiety. In such instances, neither proximity seeking nor proximity avoiding is a solution to the activation of the childs attachment and fear behavioural systems. If the trauma remains unresolved and is carried into adulthood, it leaves the individual vulnerable to affect dysregulation in interpersonal conflict situations that induce fear, hate, shame and rage. In such cases, alcohol and illicit drugs are often resorted to as a maladaptive means of suppressing dreaded psychobiological states and restoring a semblance of affective equilibrium.
Findings show that disorganised attachment developed in infancy shifts to controlling behaviour in the older child and adult, reflecting an internalized mental model of the self as unlovable, unworthy of care and support, and fearful of rejection, betrayal and abandonment. Disorganised attachment is associated with a predisposition to relational violence, to dissociative states and conduct disorders in children and adolescents, and to personality disorders in adults. This state of mind constitutes a primary risk factor for the development of borderline, anti-social and sociopathic personality disorders. The rate of such disorders in forensic settings is particularly high. Clinically, dissociated traumatic experience is unsymbolized by thought and language, being encapsulated within the personality as a separate, non-reflective reality which is cut off from authentic human relatedness. The information contained in implicit memory may be retrieved by state-dependent moods and situations. Dissociated archaic internal working models are then activated, influencing and distorting expectations of current events and relationships outside of conscious awareness, particularly in situations involving intense interpersonal stress. In such situations, the self is felt to be endangered, thereby increasing the risk of an angry and potentially violent reaction.
Shown here is a label from Case 1 of the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.
The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:
Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:
The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.
On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.
The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.
The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:
The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.
Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:
In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere
could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.
School Closings, 1959:
The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.
Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:
After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.
In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.
From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.
Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
The U.S. Military Academy at West Point hosts Projects Day on May 3, 2018. Projects Day highlights academic excellence across USMA showcasing leaders of character who think critically, internalize their professional identity and will employ their education to help build the Army and the Nation’s future. (U.S. Army photo by Michelle Eberhart)
CONTACT: K. Alane Golden
Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/NARANCMHAD and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD
Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.
NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.
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CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden
Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224. 1044, extension 264
agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD
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Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
I could think of no better model that My Scene's Kennedy for the "Broadcast Yourself" series. She has the distinctive Barbie face, with the unsettling addition of bedroom eyes, and cherry red slightly parted lips. Combined with her girlish ponytails, she channels a myriad of forbidden fantasies and desires. I decided to use a different doll's body, which I couse for its suggestive pose and sheer red nightie.
She is using the built-in webcam on her little laptop to share images of herself with the world. She makes a digital slide show for her social networking pages using a song by The Pussycat Dolls. The lyrics of the song are about wanting fame and attention, and being called sexy by boys. She knows no better way to express herself that to take photos that expose her breasts. She is not thinking of the consequences of her actions, especially what kind of influence this could have on her little sister Ana.
read more at tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/11/yasmin-kennedy-and-lol...
The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.
Read more about the project here:
tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html
Purchase prints here:
Built in 1826 by James Lambert for auctioneer Joseph LeCarpentier, this Greek Revival was named after the two most famous occupants. In 1865 the property was rented to Lt Gen Pierre Beauregard, Mexican-American War hero of Contreras, Churubusco and Chapultepec and later the famed Confederate general who fired on Fort Sumter, igniting the American Civil War. He led Southern armies to victory at First Bull Run, and defeat at Shiloh and Corinth, after which he was removed from command for being absent without leave. After the war, Beauregard sought and received a pardon, and lived here from 1866 to 1868, flirting with commanding foreign armies ranging from Brazil to Romania.
Beauregard remains a slightly controversial figure, as the Confederate commander that ignited the Civil War. However he is seen as a local figure. Furthermore, while he was definitely conservative and opposed Reconstruction, that seemed related more to party affiliation than anything racial. Indeed Beauregard led an effort by conservative businessmen to give civil rights and the vote to the freedmen, hoping that they'd vote Democrat as opposed to Republican. A statue of him in New Orleans was removed in May 2017.
In 1904 the house came into the possession of Pietro Giacona, an Italian immigrant who established a well-off wine business with his brother, the Giacona and Company Wholesale Liquor Dealers. This was a period of large Italian immigration to New Orleans, and with them came the mafia. With their wealth, the Giacona family soon ran afoul of the Black Hand. June 16, 1908, four members of the Black Hand arrived at the house to talk about payment, ie extortion. If payment was refused, the business would be damaged or destroyed, or family members would end up dead.
Evidently the talks over dinner and wine did not go well, for Pietro Giacona finally agreed to paying, got up, returned with his rifle, and blasted away. Three of the stunned Black Hand members were killed immediately at the kitchen table, the final one managed to escape and was ultimately found blocks away, trying to staunch the wound to a lung. Pietro Giacona was arrested the next day, then found innocent and released, becoming a hero to the local Italian community.
In 1925 the home was threatened to be torn down and a factory built in its place. Using Beauregard's ties to the property, local women formed the Beauregard Memorial Association and purchased it for preservation.
In 1950 famed Southern author Francis Keyes purchased the property. She soon became a fixture in the French Quarter. She wrote several books here, most famously Madame Castel's Lodger, about Beauregard, and The Chess Players, on famed local World chess champion Paul Morphy. Keyes also rebuilt the famed adjacent garden destroyed in the 1920s. The Beauregard-Keyes House remains a museum and is popular with weddings
With its Spanish influence, the French Quarter of New Orleans is filled with courtyards. Traditionally these were utilitarian in nature, serving as stables, kitchens, and places where the resident could leave their carriages without muddying their feet in the streets outside. However as these functions gradually became internalized, the courtyards were converted to lavish gardens, with trees and fountains to allow the residents to cool off in privacy.
French Quarter, New Orleans, Louisiana
Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.
NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.
...
-----------------------------------------------------
CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden
Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224. 1044, extension 264
agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD
—
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720.221.3606
As your landscape matures, you're Monument Colorado irrigation system may become inefficient. Plants grow and cover-up sprinklers. Heads may become clogged with mineral deposits. Pipes may start to corrode or break. If you're looking to upgrade or retrofit your system, we can offer our expertise in making your system work right. If your looking for sprinkler repair companies in Colorado Springs we are your people.
Our Sprinkler Repair Services Include:
Repair and/or Replace Sprinkler Timers (Clock)
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Add New Sprinkler Heads or Entire Zone(s) of Sprinkler Heads Drip Systems
Repair Broken Sprinkler Pipes and/or Fittings
Install, Repair and/or Replace Automatic Rain Freeze Sensors
Check System for Coverage & Operation of all Heads & Zones
Diagnose & Repair Low-Pressure Problems
Sprinkler Leaks Found & Eliminated
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Sprinkler Maintenance Programs
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If you are in need of having your sprinklers repaired, Lawn Pros Sprinkler Services is the sprinkler company for you. Our expert irrigation technicians are trained to troubleshoot the oldest to newest sprinkler systems in the industry. Even if your sprinkler system consists of old brass and cooper parts we can take care of your system. Our irrigation technicians can repair anything including broken heads, valves, manifolds, backflows, leaks, timers and rain sensors.
Why Lawn Pros Irrigation Services:
We Have a Record of Thousands of Sprinkler Repairs.
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By choosing Lawn Pros sprinkler services you can have the peace of mind that you have selected a sprinkler and irrigation company that will keep your sprinkler system running all year round and your yard will remain beautiful season after season!
We service the following area's:
Black Forest CO,Glen Eagle CO,Flying Horse CO,North Gate CO,Briargate CO,Peyton CO,Falcon CO,Monument CO,Stetson Hills CO,Manitou Springs CO,
Garden OF The Gods CO,Security CO,Falcon CO.
Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.
NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.
...
-----------------------------------------------------
CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden
Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224. 1044, extension 264
agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD
—
Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.
Read more about the project here:
tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html
Purchase prints here:
Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.
Read more about the project here:
tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html
Purchase prints here:
Shown here is the introduction from the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.
The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:
Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:
The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.
On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.
The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.
The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:
The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.
Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:
In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere
could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.
School Closings, 1959:
The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.
Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:
After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.
In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.
From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.
CONTACT: K. Alane Golden
Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
For more information, join the conversation on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD
Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.
NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.
...
-----------------------------------------------------
CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden
Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224. 1044, extension 264
agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD
—
Self-doubt often comes from the negative messages of narcissistic parents
Adult children raised by narcissistic parents internalize negative messages about themselves that can be unwound and released with good recovery work. As you went through each childhood stage of growth and development with ...
howdoidate.com/personal-development/often-self-doubt-star...
LEARNED HELPLESSNESS:
ON AUTHORITY, OBEDIENCE, AND CONTROL
[…] in the 1940s, psychotic patients would express delusions about their brains being controlled by radio waves; now delusional patients commonly complain about implanted computer chips,”[1]
“The Matrix is everywhere, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.” (Morpheus);
“What truth?” (Neo);
“That you’re a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into a prison, a prison that you cannot smell or touch, a prison for your mind.” (Morpheus)[2]
Now, in fact, we already live largely in a negationist society. No event is ‘real’ any longer. Terror attacks, trials, wars, corruption, opinion polls – there’s nothing now that isn’t rigged or undecidable. Government, the authorities and institutions are the first victims of this fall from grace of the principles of truth and reality. Incredulity rages. The conspiracy theory merely adds a somewhat burlesque episode to this mental destabilization. Hence this urgent need to combat this creeping negationist and at all costs, safeguards a reality that is now kept alive on a drip.[3]
Humans constantly learn how do things, how to explain phenomena, how to model the world: how to minimize the difference between expectation and observation. To that end, not only learning from success has proven useful, but also learning from failures, realizing when it is time to give up trying something: Repeated failure frustrates us, the pain incurred by failed attempts undermines our self-esteem. We feel powerless and embarrassed in the face of an overwhelming difficulty. And eventually we give up. It is a sign of intelligence to do so; we have learned that something is impossible. The insight of impossibility gets encoded in an emotion, especially if punishment or pain is associated with a failed attempt. This internalized experience of incapability is often so traumatic that we never ever take another attempt, even if the conditions may have changed. We do not even take notice of them any longer. Even if all obstacles get removed: We don’t try anymore. We have given up. We have learned helplessness.
Humans learn not only from own experiences, but also by observing the successes and failures of their peers. There are numerous narrative forms for passing on frustrations, there is a tone reserved in every social group’s repertoire of jokes, sighs and lamentos for expressing it. We pat our shoulders and agree that it simply could not be done: We learn the helplessness of our ancestors and peers.
Moreover, the future can only be made from what is considered possible: We can only choose among the options for behaviour that we are aware of. Many of the possibilities that our ancestors have gotten frustrated with never become part of our world. They get buried on the cemetery of failed attempts, and pride and pain prevents the ancestors from telling stories about them. Especially when some attempt gets punished by psychological or physical violence, then the emotion that encodes the failure is not just frustration, but a deep injury of the soul: apathy, depression and despair are what the victim will suffer.
Human emotions are the material of which power is forged. A plethora of elaborate techniques exist to plant and dung them, stake or trim, harvest, lay, ferment and distil them. Especially learned helplessness has proven an extremely effective means of dressage, particularly in its indirect, socially mediated form: To the end of controlling and stabilizing a status quo, nothing is more powerful than the invisible leash that is formed from the almost instinctive flinching from change that we have developed from frustrated attempts.
To braid the invisible leash, it is necessary to create an initial frustration, or worse: a traumatic experience. The use of abasement, physical restraint and violence is unbearably effective at that. These are the knives with which traumata can be cut most directly into the fabric of the self. Alone the realization that these actions are in fact possible and have been applied during every single moment of mankind is deeply frustrating and embarrassing to everyone who has a hope in our propensity for learning.
The didactics of helplessness however knows much more subtle techniques, many of which exploit the dependence of the human self-model and self-esteem on the feedback of peers, and the self-evaluation in comparison to what is taught as exemplary by the textbook of the social. The key lesson that an organism needs to learn is one of own incapability: Human identity requires a sense of being in control of matters, such as of the own existence and fate. Make the students of helplessness poor – materially or symbolically; convince them that they are incapable; foster their existential fear; then offer them a straw: They will grasp it and have learnt that it is impossible for them to survive on their own. Give excessive help, function overly, and you shall receive helplessness.
The conviction (of an individual or a group) of being out of control needs to get reinforced, practiced and rehearsed. Repeat: We are incapable of dealing with the problem; the problem is overwhelmingly large; it is too complex for our simple minds to grasp; a solution is so improbable that it is impossible for all practical purposes. There is not only one problem: two more get reported every day. We don’t even know enough about the nature of the problems. A conspiracy might be pulling the strings, but there are conflicting theories about who is really, truly in control. No one can know what is going on behind the scenes. In fact, you cannot trust anyone; hence there is no truth. If you can’t convince them of their own helplessness, confuse them and overwhelm them: Immerse them in a constant stream of buzz, whirl their heads around until the liquid between their ears is spinning like an eddy.
The notion of “learned helplessness” can be summarized as a mental state that an individual or society arrives at when they internalize failure and stop trying to break out of an overpowering condition – even if that condition changes. Put forward by psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967, it has inspired a number of scholars working in the fields of gender politics, racism, genocide, authoritarianism and related subjects that are concerned with the dynamics of hegemony. It is through suppressive education processes, religious and moral principles (enacted both by families as well as institutions and cultures), violations of human rights and freedom, political pressure, and the continuous recall of the status quo by the media, that individuals and societies arrive at a fatal conclusion: That they do not have the necessary power to change the existing modus vivendi or the prevailing regimes.
The existing control mechanisms instrumentalise this aspect of human psychology in the form of social engineering and manipulation of societies. They employ the media, prisons, surveillance and security systems that operate on the basis of social psychology. They systematically manufacture a collective sense of helplessness. By using information overflow, normalizing corruption and injustice, monitoring privacy, manipulating law, operating a police system, applying psychological and physical violence, murdering, torturing, imprisoning, creating conflicts within societies, raising poverty and creating a financial need for their own existence, the ruling powers aggressively develop a system of even greater control.
In many of the so-called democratic countries of present day, large parts of society are reluctant about available alternatives in elections. Fewer and fewer people feel represented in parliaments. Often people think that their participation will not matter, given the strategies and games taking place in the election systems: Today, in many countries the notion of “free choice” has to be regarded an impossible dream. “The lesser of two evils”, “strategic voting”, or “voting grudgingly” are frequently heard utterances that give evidence of the lost hope.
Experiences of violence – massacres, military coup d’états, unsolved political murders, wars, terror attacks, etc. – are severe traumata in the collective memories of societies. They increasingly help cultivate a collective fear and justify the necessity for surveillance, as well as military and security forces. However, these comprehensible needs transform the role of the state from governing to ruling. This is where the abuse of power starts, and the security forces, media and monitoring agencies, which owe their existence to the collective anxiety, start functioning as tools for the defence of the ruling regime from its own public. It is through violence and an overflow of conflicting information that a society gets confused, loses its trust, and consequently its hope.
Is it possible to un-learn helplessness? The exhibition project “Learned Helplessness: On Authority, Obedience, and Control” is the result of a collective thinking process about this question. It brings together diverse positions analysing the phenomenon from the aspects of family, religion, psychology, politics, urbanism, gender, neuroscience and social education. The project encompasses a variety of artistic forms, including sound, video, object installations, photographs, graffiti and drawings – mainly produced for this exhibition. It aims at going beyond the artistic dialog that it suggests, and opening up a discussion platform for collective thinking and for debating the metaphor of unlearning helplessness.
CO-WRITERS OF THE CURATORIAL TEXT
Tobias Nöbauer & Işın Önol
LEARNED HELPLESSNESS:
ON AUTHORITY, OBEDIENCE, AND CONTROL
[…] in the 1940s, psychotic patients would express delusions about their brains being controlled by radio waves; now delusional patients commonly complain about implanted computer chips,”[1]
“The Matrix is everywhere, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.” (Morpheus);
“What truth?” (Neo);
“That you’re a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into a prison, a prison that you cannot smell or touch, a prison for your mind.” (Morpheus)[2]
Now, in fact, we already live largely in a negationist society. No event is ‘real’ any longer. Terror attacks, trials, wars, corruption, opinion polls – there’s nothing now that isn’t rigged or undecidable. Government, the authorities and institutions are the first victims of this fall from grace of the principles of truth and reality. Incredulity rages. The conspiracy theory merely adds a somewhat burlesque episode to this mental destabilization. Hence this urgent need to combat this creeping negationist and at all costs, safeguards a reality that is now kept alive on a drip.[3]
Humans constantly learn how do things, how to explain phenomena, how to model the world: how to minimize the difference between expectation and observation. To that end, not only learning from success has proven useful, but also learning from failures, realizing when it is time to give up trying something: Repeated failure frustrates us, the pain incurred by failed attempts undermines our self-esteem. We feel powerless and embarrassed in the face of an overwhelming difficulty. And eventually we give up. It is a sign of intelligence to do so; we have learned that something is impossible. The insight of impossibility gets encoded in an emotion, especially if punishment or pain is associated with a failed attempt. This internalized experience of incapability is often so traumatic that we never ever take another attempt, even if the conditions may have changed. We do not even take notice of them any longer. Even if all obstacles get removed: We don’t try anymore. We have given up. We have learned helplessness.
Humans learn not only from own experiences, but also by observing the successes and failures of their peers. There are numerous narrative forms for passing on frustrations, there is a tone reserved in every social group’s repertoire of jokes, sighs and lamentos for expressing it. We pat our shoulders and agree that it simply could not be done: We learn the helplessness of our ancestors and peers.
Moreover, the future can only be made from what is considered possible: We can only choose among the options for behaviour that we are aware of. Many of the possibilities that our ancestors have gotten frustrated with never become part of our world. They get buried on the cemetery of failed attempts, and pride and pain prevents the ancestors from telling stories about them. Especially when some attempt gets punished by psychological or physical violence, then the emotion that encodes the failure is not just frustration, but a deep injury of the soul: apathy, depression and despair are what the victim will suffer.
Human emotions are the material of which power is forged. A plethora of elaborate techniques exist to plant and dung them, stake or trim, harvest, lay, ferment and distil them. Especially learned helplessness has proven an extremely effective means of dressage, particularly in its indirect, socially mediated form: To the end of controlling and stabilizing a status quo, nothing is more powerful than the invisible leash that is formed from the almost instinctive flinching from change that we have developed from frustrated attempts.
To braid the invisible leash, it is necessary to create an initial frustration, or worse: a traumatic experience. The use of abasement, physical restraint and violence is unbearably effective at that. These are the knives with which traumata can be cut most directly into the fabric of the self. Alone the realization that these actions are in fact possible and have been applied during every single moment of mankind is deeply frustrating and embarrassing to everyone who has a hope in our propensity for learning.
The didactics of helplessness however knows much more subtle techniques, many of which exploit the dependence of the human self-model and self-esteem on the feedback of peers, and the self-evaluation in comparison to what is taught as exemplary by the textbook of the social. The key lesson that an organism needs to learn is one of own incapability: Human identity requires a sense of being in control of matters, such as of the own existence and fate. Make the students of helplessness poor – materially or symbolically; convince them that they are incapable; foster their existential fear; then offer them a straw: They will grasp it and have learnt that it is impossible for them to survive on their own. Give excessive help, function overly, and you shall receive helplessness.
The conviction (of an individual or a group) of being out of control needs to get reinforced, practiced and rehearsed. Repeat: We are incapable of dealing with the problem; the problem is overwhelmingly large; it is too complex for our simple minds to grasp; a solution is so improbable that it is impossible for all practical purposes. There is not only one problem: two more get reported every day. We don’t even know enough about the nature of the problems. A conspiracy might be pulling the strings, but there are conflicting theories about who is really, truly in control. No one can know what is going on behind the scenes. In fact, you cannot trust anyone; hence there is no truth. If you can’t convince them of their own helplessness, confuse them and overwhelm them: Immerse them in a constant stream of buzz, whirl their heads around until the liquid between their ears is spinning like an eddy.
The notion of “learned helplessness” can be summarized as a mental state that an individual or society arrives at when they internalize failure and stop trying to break out of an overpowering condition – even if that condition changes. Put forward by psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967, it has inspired a number of scholars working in the fields of gender politics, racism, genocide, authoritarianism and related subjects that are concerned with the dynamics of hegemony. It is through suppressive education processes, religious and moral principles (enacted both by families as well as institutions and cultures), violations of human rights and freedom, political pressure, and the continuous recall of the status quo by the media, that individuals and societies arrive at a fatal conclusion: That they do not have the necessary power to change the existing modus vivendi or the prevailing regimes.
The existing control mechanisms instrumentalise this aspect of human psychology in the form of social engineering and manipulation of societies. They employ the media, prisons, surveillance and security systems that operate on the basis of social psychology. They systematically manufacture a collective sense of helplessness. By using information overflow, normalizing corruption and injustice, monitoring privacy, manipulating law, operating a police system, applying psychological and physical violence, murdering, torturing, imprisoning, creating conflicts within societies, raising poverty and creating a financial need for their own existence, the ruling powers aggressively develop a system of even greater control.
In many of the so-called democratic countries of present day, large parts of society are reluctant about available alternatives in elections. Fewer and fewer people feel represented in parliaments. Often people think that their participation will not matter, given the strategies and games taking place in the election systems: Today, in many countries the notion of “free choice” has to be regarded an impossible dream. “The lesser of two evils”, “strategic voting”, or “voting grudgingly” are frequently heard utterances that give evidence of the lost hope.
Experiences of violence – massacres, military coup d’états, unsolved political murders, wars, terror attacks, etc. – are severe traumata in the collective memories of societies. They increasingly help cultivate a collective fear and justify the necessity for surveillance, as well as military and security forces. However, these comprehensible needs transform the role of the state from governing to ruling. This is where the abuse of power starts, and the security forces, media and monitoring agencies, which owe their existence to the collective anxiety, start functioning as tools for the defence of the ruling regime from its own public. It is through violence and an overflow of conflicting information that a society gets confused, loses its trust, and consequently its hope.
Is it possible to un-learn helplessness? The exhibition project “Learned Helplessness: On Authority, Obedience, and Control” is the result of a collective thinking process about this question. It brings together diverse positions analysing the phenomenon from the aspects of family, religion, psychology, politics, urbanism, gender, neuroscience and social education. The project encompasses a variety of artistic forms, including sound, video, object installations, photographs, graffiti and drawings – mainly produced for this exhibition. It aims at going beyond the artistic dialog that it suggests, and opening up a discussion platform for collective thinking and for debating the metaphor of unlearning helplessness.
CO-WRITERS OF THE CURATORIAL TEXT
Tobias Nöbauer & Işın Önol
LEARNED HELPLESSNESS:
ON AUTHORITY, OBEDIENCE, AND CONTROL
[…] in the 1940s, psychotic patients would express delusions about their brains being controlled by radio waves; now delusional patients commonly complain about implanted computer chips,”[1]
“The Matrix is everywhere, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.” (Morpheus);
“What truth?” (Neo);
“That you’re a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into a prison, a prison that you cannot smell or touch, a prison for your mind.” (Morpheus)[2]
Now, in fact, we already live largely in a negationist society. No event is ‘real’ any longer. Terror attacks, trials, wars, corruption, opinion polls – there’s nothing now that isn’t rigged or undecidable. Government, the authorities and institutions are the first victims of this fall from grace of the principles of truth and reality. Incredulity rages. The conspiracy theory merely adds a somewhat burlesque episode to this mental destabilization. Hence this urgent need to combat this creeping negationist and at all costs, safeguards a reality that is now kept alive on a drip.[3]
Humans constantly learn how do things, how to explain phenomena, how to model the world: how to minimize the difference between expectation and observation. To that end, not only learning from success has proven useful, but also learning from failures, realizing when it is time to give up trying something: Repeated failure frustrates us, the pain incurred by failed attempts undermines our self-esteem. We feel powerless and embarrassed in the face of an overwhelming difficulty. And eventually we give up. It is a sign of intelligence to do so; we have learned that something is impossible. The insight of impossibility gets encoded in an emotion, especially if punishment or pain is associated with a failed attempt. This internalized experience of incapability is often so traumatic that we never ever take another attempt, even if the conditions may have changed. We do not even take notice of them any longer. Even if all obstacles get removed: We don’t try anymore. We have given up. We have learned helplessness.
Humans learn not only from own experiences, but also by observing the successes and failures of their peers. There are numerous narrative forms for passing on frustrations, there is a tone reserved in every social group’s repertoire of jokes, sighs and lamentos for expressing it. We pat our shoulders and agree that it simply could not be done: We learn the helplessness of our ancestors and peers.
Moreover, the future can only be made from what is considered possible: We can only choose among the options for behaviour that we are aware of. Many of the possibilities that our ancestors have gotten frustrated with never become part of our world. They get buried on the cemetery of failed attempts, and pride and pain prevents the ancestors from telling stories about them. Especially when some attempt gets punished by psychological or physical violence, then the emotion that encodes the failure is not just frustration, but a deep injury of the soul: apathy, depression and despair are what the victim will suffer.
Human emotions are the material of which power is forged. A plethora of elaborate techniques exist to plant and dung them, stake or trim, harvest, lay, ferment and distil them. Especially learned helplessness has proven an extremely effective means of dressage, particularly in its indirect, socially mediated form: To the end of controlling and stabilizing a status quo, nothing is more powerful than the invisible leash that is formed from the almost instinctive flinching from change that we have developed from frustrated attempts.
To braid the invisible leash, it is necessary to create an initial frustration, or worse: a traumatic experience. The use of abasement, physical restraint and violence is unbearably effective at that. These are the knives with which traumata can be cut most directly into the fabric of the self. Alone the realization that these actions are in fact possible and have been applied during every single moment of mankind is deeply frustrating and embarrassing to everyone who has a hope in our propensity for learning.
The didactics of helplessness however knows much more subtle techniques, many of which exploit the dependence of the human self-model and self-esteem on the feedback of peers, and the self-evaluation in comparison to what is taught as exemplary by the textbook of the social. The key lesson that an organism needs to learn is one of own incapability: Human identity requires a sense of being in control of matters, such as of the own existence and fate. Make the students of helplessness poor – materially or symbolically; convince them that they are incapable; foster their existential fear; then offer them a straw: They will grasp it and have learnt that it is impossible for them to survive on their own. Give excessive help, function overly, and you shall receive helplessness.
The conviction (of an individual or a group) of being out of control needs to get reinforced, practiced and rehearsed. Repeat: We are incapable of dealing with the problem; the problem is overwhelmingly large; it is too complex for our simple minds to grasp; a solution is so improbable that it is impossible for all practical purposes. There is not only one problem: two more get reported every day. We don’t even know enough about the nature of the problems. A conspiracy might be pulling the strings, but there are conflicting theories about who is really, truly in control. No one can know what is going on behind the scenes. In fact, you cannot trust anyone; hence there is no truth. If you can’t convince them of their own helplessness, confuse them and overwhelm them: Immerse them in a constant stream of buzz, whirl their heads around until the liquid between their ears is spinning like an eddy.
The notion of “learned helplessness” can be summarized as a mental state that an individual or society arrives at when they internalize failure and stop trying to break out of an overpowering condition – even if that condition changes. Put forward by psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967, it has inspired a number of scholars working in the fields of gender politics, racism, genocide, authoritarianism and related subjects that are concerned with the dynamics of hegemony. It is through suppressive education processes, religious and moral principles (enacted both by families as well as institutions and cultures), violations of human rights and freedom, political pressure, and the continuous recall of the status quo by the media, that individuals and societies arrive at a fatal conclusion: That they do not have the necessary power to change the existing modus vivendi or the prevailing regimes.
The existing control mechanisms instrumentalise this aspect of human psychology in the form of social engineering and manipulation of societies. They employ the media, prisons, surveillance and security systems that operate on the basis of social psychology. They systematically manufacture a collective sense of helplessness. By using information overflow, normalizing corruption and injustice, monitoring privacy, manipulating law, operating a police system, applying psychological and physical violence, murdering, torturing, imprisoning, creating conflicts within societies, raising poverty and creating a financial need for their own existence, the ruling powers aggressively develop a system of even greater control.
In many of the so-called democratic countries of present day, large parts of society are reluctant about available alternatives in elections. Fewer and fewer people feel represented in parliaments. Often people think that their participation will not matter, given the strategies and games taking place in the election systems: Today, in many countries the notion of “free choice” has to be regarded an impossible dream. “The lesser of two evils”, “strategic voting”, or “voting grudgingly” are frequently heard utterances that give evidence of the lost hope.
Experiences of violence – massacres, military coup d’états, unsolved political murders, wars, terror attacks, etc. – are severe traumata in the collective memories of societies. They increasingly help cultivate a collective fear and justify the necessity for surveillance, as well as military and security forces. However, these comprehensible needs transform the role of the state from governing to ruling. This is where the abuse of power starts, and the security forces, media and monitoring agencies, which owe their existence to the collective anxiety, start functioning as tools for the defence of the ruling regime from its own public. It is through violence and an overflow of conflicting information that a society gets confused, loses its trust, and consequently its hope.
Is it possible to un-learn helplessness? The exhibition project “Learned Helplessness: On Authority, Obedience, and Control” is the result of a collective thinking process about this question. It brings together diverse positions analysing the phenomenon from the aspects of family, religion, psychology, politics, urbanism, gender, neuroscience and social education. The project encompasses a variety of artistic forms, including sound, video, object installations, photographs, graffiti and drawings – mainly produced for this exhibition. It aims at going beyond the artistic dialog that it suggests, and opening up a discussion platform for collective thinking and for debating the metaphor of unlearning helplessness.
CO-WRITERS OF THE CURATORIAL TEXT
Tobias Nöbauer & Işın Önol
LEARNED HELPLESSNESS:
ON AUTHORITY, OBEDIENCE, AND CONTROL
[…] in the 1940s, psychotic patients would express delusions about their brains being controlled by radio waves; now delusional patients commonly complain about implanted computer chips,”[1]
“The Matrix is everywhere, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.” (Morpheus);
“What truth?” (Neo);
“That you’re a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into a prison, a prison that you cannot smell or touch, a prison for your mind.” (Morpheus)[2]
Now, in fact, we already live largely in a negationist society. No event is ‘real’ any longer. Terror attacks, trials, wars, corruption, opinion polls – there’s nothing now that isn’t rigged or undecidable. Government, the authorities and institutions are the first victims of this fall from grace of the principles of truth and reality. Incredulity rages. The conspiracy theory merely adds a somewhat burlesque episode to this mental destabilization. Hence this urgent need to combat this creeping negationist and at all costs, safeguards a reality that is now kept alive on a drip.[3]
Humans constantly learn how do things, how to explain phenomena, how to model the world: how to minimize the difference between expectation and observation. To that end, not only learning from success has proven useful, but also learning from failures, realizing when it is time to give up trying something: Repeated failure frustrates us, the pain incurred by failed attempts undermines our self-esteem. We feel powerless and embarrassed in the face of an overwhelming difficulty. And eventually we give up. It is a sign of intelligence to do so; we have learned that something is impossible. The insight of impossibility gets encoded in an emotion, especially if punishment or pain is associated with a failed attempt. This internalized experience of incapability is often so traumatic that we never ever take another attempt, even if the conditions may have changed. We do not even take notice of them any longer. Even if all obstacles get removed: We don’t try anymore. We have given up. We have learned helplessness.
Humans learn not only from own experiences, but also by observing the successes and failures of their peers. There are numerous narrative forms for passing on frustrations, there is a tone reserved in every social group’s repertoire of jokes, sighs and lamentos for expressing it. We pat our shoulders and agree that it simply could not be done: We learn the helplessness of our ancestors and peers.
Moreover, the future can only be made from what is considered possible: We can only choose among the options for behaviour that we are aware of. Many of the possibilities that our ancestors have gotten frustrated with never become part of our world. They get buried on the cemetery of failed attempts, and pride and pain prevents the ancestors from telling stories about them. Especially when some attempt gets punished by psychological or physical violence, then the emotion that encodes the failure is not just frustration, but a deep injury of the soul: apathy, depression and despair are what the victim will suffer.
Human emotions are the material of which power is forged. A plethora of elaborate techniques exist to plant and dung them, stake or trim, harvest, lay, ferment and distil them. Especially learned helplessness has proven an extremely effective means of dressage, particularly in its indirect, socially mediated form: To the end of controlling and stabilizing a status quo, nothing is more powerful than the invisible leash that is formed from the almost instinctive flinching from change that we have developed from frustrated attempts.
To braid the invisible leash, it is necessary to create an initial frustration, or worse: a traumatic experience. The use of abasement, physical restraint and violence is unbearably effective at that. These are the knives with which traumata can be cut most directly into the fabric of the self. Alone the realization that these actions are in fact possible and have been applied during every single moment of mankind is deeply frustrating and embarrassing to everyone who has a hope in our propensity for learning.
The didactics of helplessness however knows much more subtle techniques, many of which exploit the dependence of the human self-model and self-esteem on the feedback of peers, and the self-evaluation in comparison to what is taught as exemplary by the textbook of the social. The key lesson that an organism needs to learn is one of own incapability: Human identity requires a sense of being in control of matters, such as of the own existence and fate. Make the students of helplessness poor – materially or symbolically; convince them that they are incapable; foster their existential fear; then offer them a straw: They will grasp it and have learnt that it is impossible for them to survive on their own. Give excessive help, function overly, and you shall receive helplessness.
The conviction (of an individual or a group) of being out of control needs to get reinforced, practiced and rehearsed. Repeat: We are incapable of dealing with the problem; the problem is overwhelmingly large; it is too complex for our simple minds to grasp; a solution is so improbable that it is impossible for all practical purposes. There is not only one problem: two more get reported every day. We don’t even know enough about the nature of the problems. A conspiracy might be pulling the strings, but there are conflicting theories about who is really, truly in control. No one can know what is going on behind the scenes. In fact, you cannot trust anyone; hence there is no truth. If you can’t convince them of their own helplessness, confuse them and overwhelm them: Immerse them in a constant stream of buzz, whirl their heads around until the liquid between their ears is spinning like an eddy.
The notion of “learned helplessness” can be summarized as a mental state that an individual or society arrives at when they internalize failure and stop trying to break out of an overpowering condition – even if that condition changes. Put forward by psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967, it has inspired a number of scholars working in the fields of gender politics, racism, genocide, authoritarianism and related subjects that are concerned with the dynamics of hegemony. It is through suppressive education processes, religious and moral principles (enacted both by families as well as institutions and cultures), violations of human rights and freedom, political pressure, and the continuous recall of the status quo by the media, that individuals and societies arrive at a fatal conclusion: That they do not have the necessary power to change the existing modus vivendi or the prevailing regimes.
The existing control mechanisms instrumentalise this aspect of human psychology in the form of social engineering and manipulation of societies. They employ the media, prisons, surveillance and security systems that operate on the basis of social psychology. They systematically manufacture a collective sense of helplessness. By using information overflow, normalizing corruption and injustice, monitoring privacy, manipulating law, operating a police system, applying psychological and physical violence, murdering, torturing, imprisoning, creating conflicts within societies, raising poverty and creating a financial need for their own existence, the ruling powers aggressively develop a system of even greater control.
In many of the so-called democratic countries of present day, large parts of society are reluctant about available alternatives in elections. Fewer and fewer people feel represented in parliaments. Often people think that their participation will not matter, given the strategies and games taking place in the election systems: Today, in many countries the notion of “free choice” has to be regarded an impossible dream. “The lesser of two evils”, “strategic voting”, or “voting grudgingly” are frequently heard utterances that give evidence of the lost hope.
Experiences of violence – massacres, military coup d’états, unsolved political murders, wars, terror attacks, etc. – are severe traumata in the collective memories of societies. They increasingly help cultivate a collective fear and justify the necessity for surveillance, as well as military and security forces. However, these comprehensible needs transform the role of the state from governing to ruling. This is where the abuse of power starts, and the security forces, media and monitoring agencies, which owe their existence to the collective anxiety, start functioning as tools for the defence of the ruling regime from its own public. It is through violence and an overflow of conflicting information that a society gets confused, loses its trust, and consequently its hope.
Is it possible to un-learn helplessness? The exhibition project “Learned Helplessness: On Authority, Obedience, and Control” is the result of a collective thinking process about this question. It brings together diverse positions analysing the phenomenon from the aspects of family, religion, psychology, politics, urbanism, gender, neuroscience and social education. The project encompasses a variety of artistic forms, including sound, video, object installations, photographs, graffiti and drawings – mainly produced for this exhibition. It aims at going beyond the artistic dialog that it suggests, and opening up a discussion platform for collective thinking and for debating the metaphor of unlearning helplessness.
CO-WRITERS OF THE CURATORIAL TEXT
Tobias Nöbauer & Işın Önol
Somewhere between Cleveland (CLE) and Saint Louis (STL). Could be the Ohio or Mississippi river, below. Note the tow (barge) on the river. Click to enlarge. Travel direction, based on the hull & propeller wash from the tow stern, is toward the upper left • Not sure what caused the black blobs in the middle of the image. Lumps of coal on the iPhone camera lens?
This Boeing 737 had their latest double-scimitar (split-scimitar?) Max AT Winglet (or most of one), at upper-right... “The new 737 MAX AT winglet is the most efficient ever designed for a production airplane.” A brief, dirt simple, Boeing description with illustrations, is viewable at... www.boeing.com/commercial/737max/737-max-winglets/ Internalize it and regale your fellow 737 passengers with your newfound aviation knowledge • Painting “SOUTHWEST.COM” on the winglet adds attractive free advertising to their overall paint scheme.
June 2017 • iPhone 6s with ProCamera 10.3 + integrated vividHDR apps (takes and auto merges 3 or 5 images) • Photoshop Elements and Anthropics' Smart Photo Editor plugin (eliminated 20,000 feet of haze and improved color saturation)
Very well positioned and sleek looking the Dogma XC internalizes all cables and hides everything as much as can be done. road influence on a MTB in a good way.
Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!
Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.
As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.
As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.
I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.
Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.
Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.
Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.
It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!
Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!
I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.
As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.
The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.
Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.
Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.
For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.
It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.
I began to see the entire world differently.
Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.
I began to see myself differently.
Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.
Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!
I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.
I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.
I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.
I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.
I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.
But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.
The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.
At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!
But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.
Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.
While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.
It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.
Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.
Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.
On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.
Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.
I shared the smoothies.
I shared the healthy dinners.
I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.
Because that’s what made me feel safe.
What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.
What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.
What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.
What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!
Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.
I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!
The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!
The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!
Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.
On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.
I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.
If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.
In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.
When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.
As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.
As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.
It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.
Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.
But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.
The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.
But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.
As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.
Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!
Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.
Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.
As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.
Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.
But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!
I could think of no better model that My Scene's Kennedy for the "Broadcast Yourself" series. She has the distinctive Barbie face, with the unsettling addition of bedroom eyes, and cherry red slightly parted lips. Combined with her girlish ponytails, she channels a myriad of forbidden fantasies and desires. I decided to use a different doll's body, which I couse for its suggestive pose and sheer red nightie. Perched atop her head are red Lolita sunglasses. The only light in the room emanates from her computer screen. It illuminates her body.
She is using the built-in webcam on her little laptop to share images of herself with the world. She makes a digital slide show for her social networking pages using a song by The Pussycat Dolls. The lyrics of the song are about wanting fame and attention, and being called sexy by boys. She knows no better way to express herself that to take photos that expose her breasts. She is not thinking of the consequences of her actions, especially what kind of influence this could have on her little sister Ana.
read more at tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/11/yasmin-kennedy-and-lol...
The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.
Read more about the project here:
tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html
Purchase prints here:
Chitra, also spelled as Citra, is an Indian genre of art that includes painting, sketch and any art form of delineation. The earliest mention of the term Chitra in the context of painting or picture is found in some of the ancient Sanskrit texts of Hinduism and Pali texts of Buddhism
NOMENCLATURE
Chitra (IAST: Citra, चित्र) is a Sanskrit word that appears in the Vedic texts such as hymns 1.71.1 and 6.65.2 of the Rigveda. There, and other texts such as Vajasaneyi Samhita, Taittiriya Samhita, Satapatha Brahmana and Tandya Brahmana, Chitra means "excellent, clear, bright, colored, anything brightly colored that strikes the eye, brilliantly ornamented, extraordinary that evokes wonder". In the Mahabharata and the Harivamsa, it means "picture, sktech, dilineation", and is presented as a genre of kala (arts). Many texts generally dated to the post-4th-century BCE period, use the term Chitra in the sense of painting, and Chitrakara as a painter. For example, the Sanskrit grammarian Panini in verse 3.2.21 of his Astadhyayi highlights the word chitrakara in this sense. Halls and public spaces to display paintings are called chitrasalas, and the earliest known mention of these are found in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata.
A few Indian regional texts such as Kasyapa silpa refer to painting by others words. For example, abhasa – which literally means "semblance, shining forth", is used in Kasyapa-shilpa to mean as a broader category of painting, of which chitra is one of three types. The verses in section 4.4 of the Kasyapa-silpa state that there are three types of images – those which are immovable (walls, floor, terracota, stucco), movable, and those which are both movable-immovable (stone, wood, gems).[5] In each of these three, states Kasyapa-shipa, are three classes of expression – ardhacitra, citra, and citra-abhasa. Ardhacitra is an art form where a high relief is combined with painting and parts of the body is not seen (it appears to be emerging out of the canvas). The Citra is the form of picture artwork where the whole is represented with or without integrating a relief. Citrabhasha is the form where an image is represented on a canvas or wall with colors (painting). However, states Commaraswamy, the word Abhasa has other meanings depending on the context. For example, in Hindu texts on philosophy, it implies the "field of objective experience" in the sense of the intellectual image internalized by a person during a reading of a subject (such as an epic, tale or fiction), or one during a meditative spiritual experience.
In some Buddhist and Hindu texts on methods to prepare a manuscript (palm leaf) or a composition on a cloth, the terms lekhya and alekhya are also used in the context of a chitra. More specifically, alekhya is the space left while writing a manuscript leaf or cloth, where the artist aims to add a picture or painting to illustrate the text.
HISTORY
The earliest explicit reference to painting in an Indian text is found in verse 4.2 of the Maitri Upanishad where it uses the phrase citrabhittir or "like a painted wall". The Indian art of painting is also mention in a number of Buddhist Pali suttas, but with the modified spelling of Citta. This term is found in the context of either a painting, or painter, or painted-hall (citta-gara) in Majjhima Nikaya 1.127, Samyutta Nikaya 2.101 and 3.152, Vinaya 4.289 and others. Among the Jain texts, it is mentioned in Book 2 of the Acaranga Sutra as it explains that Jaina monk should not indulge in the pleasures of watching a painting.
The Kamasutra, broadly accepted to have been complete by about the 4th-century CE, recommends that the young man should surprise the girl he courts with gifts of color boxes and painted scrolls. The Viddhasalabhanjika – another Hindu kama- and kavya–text uses chitra-simile in verse 1.16, as "pictures painted by the god of love, with the brush of the mind and the canvas of the heart".
The nature of a chitra (painting), how the viewer's mind projects a two dimensional artwork into a three dimensional representation, is used by Asanga in Mahayana Sutralamkara – a 3rd to 5th-century Sanskrit text of the Mahayana Buddhist tradition, to explain "non-existent imagination" as follows:
Just as in a picture painted according to rules, there are neither projections nor depressions and yet we see it in three dimensions, so in the non-existent imagination there is no phenomenal differentiation, and yet we behold it.
— Mahayana Sutralamkara 13.7, Translated in French by Sylvain Levi
According to Yoko Taniguchi and Michiyo Mori, the art of painting the caves at the c. 6th-century Buddhas of Bamiyan site in Afghanistan, destroyed by the Taliban Muslims in the late 1990s, were likely introduced to this region from India along with the literature on early Buddhism.
TEXTS
There are many important dedicated Indian treatises on chitra. Some of these are chapters within a larger encyclopedia-like text. These include:
Chitrasutras, chapters 35–43 within the Hindu text Vishnudharmottara Purana (the standard, and oft referred to text in the Indian tradition)
Chitralaksana of Nagnajit (a classic on classical painting, 5th-century CE or earlier making it the oldest known text on Indian painting; but the Sanskrit version has been lost, only version available is in Tibet and it states that it is a translation of a Sanskrit text)
Samarangana Sutradhara (mostly architecture treatise, contains a large section on paintings)
Aparajitaprccha (mostly architecture treatise, contains a large section on paintings)
Manasollasa (an encyclopedia, contains chapters on paintings)
Abhilashitartha chinatamani
Sivatatva ratnakara
Chitra Kaladruma
Silpa ratna
Narada silpa
Sarasvati silpa
Prajapati silpa
Kasyapa silpa
These and other texts on chitra not only discuss the theory and practice of painting, some of them include discussions on how to become a painter, the diversity and the impact of a chitra on viewers, of aesthetics, how the art of painting relates to other arts (kala), methods of preparing the canvas or wall, methods and recipes to make color pigments. For example, the 10th-century Chitra Kaladruma presents recipe for making red color paint from the resin of lac insects. Other colors for the historic frescoes found in India, such as those in the Ajanta Caves, were obtained from nature. They mention earthy and mineral (inorganic) colorants such as yellow and red ochre, orpigment, green celadonite and ultramarine blue (lapis lazuli). The use of organic colorants prepared per a recipe in these texts have been confirmed through residue analysis and modern chromatographic techniques.
THEORY
The Indian concepts of painting are described in a range of texts called the shilpa shastras. These typically begin by attributing this art to divine sources such as Vishvakarma and ancient rishis (sages) such as Narayana and Nagnajit, weaving some mythology, highlighting chitra as a means to express ideas and beauty along with other universal aspects, then proceed to discuss the theory and practice of painting, sketching and other related arts. Manuscripts of many these texts are found in India, while some are known to be lost but are found outside India such as in Tibet and Nepal. Among these are the Citrasutras in the 6th-century Visnudharmottara Purana manuscripts discovered in India, and the Citralaksana manuscript discovered in Tibet (lost in India). This theory include early Indian ideas on how to prepare a canvas or substrate, measurement, proportion, stance, color, shade, projection, the painting's interaction with light, the viewer, how to captivate the mind, and other ideas.
According to the historic Indian tradition, a successful and impactful painting and painter requires a knowledge of the subject – either mythology or real life, as well as a keen sense of observation and knowledge of nature, human behavior, dance, music, song and other arts. For example, section 3.2 of Visnudharmottara Purana discusses these requirements and the contextual knowledge needed in chitra and the artist who produces it. The Chitrasutras in the Vishnudharmottara Purana state that the sculpture and painting arts are related, with the phrase "as in Natya, so in Citra". This relationship links them in rasa (aesthetics) and as forms of expression.
THE PAINTING
A chitra is a form of expression and communication. According to Aparajitaprccha – a 12th-century text on arts and architecture, just like the water reflects the moon, a chitra reflects the world. It is a rupa (form) of how the painter sees or what the painter wants the viewer to observe or feel or experience.
A good painting is one that is alive, breathing, draws in and affects the viewer. It captivates the minds of viewers, despite their diversity. Installed in a sala (hall or room), it enlivens the space.
The ornaments of a painting are its lines, shading, decoration and colors, states the 6th-century Visnudharmottara Purana. It states that there are eight gunas (merits, features) of a chitra that the artist must focus on: posture; proportion; the use of the plumb line; charm; detail (how much and where); verisimilitude; kshaya (loss, foreshortening) and; vrddhi (gain). Among the dosas (demerits, faults) of a painting and related arts, states Chitrasutra, are lines that are weak or thick, absence of variety, errors in scale (oversized eyes, lips, cheeks), inconsistency across the canvas, deviations from the rules of proportion, improper posture or sentiment, and non-merging of colors.
LIMBS OF THE PAINTING
Two historical sets called "chitra anga", or "limbs of painting" are found in Indian texts. According to the Samarangana Sutradhara – an 11th-century Sanskrit text on Hindu architecture and arts, a painting has eight limbs:
Vartika – manufacture of brushes
Bhumibandhana – preparation of base, plaster, canvas
Rekhakarma – sketching
Varnakarma – coloring
Vartanakarma – shading
lekhakarana – outlining
Dvikakarma – second and final lining
Lepyakarma – final coating
According to Yashodhara's Jayamangala, a Sanskrit commentary on Kamasutra, there are sadanga (six limbs)[note 5] in the art of alekhyam and chitra (drawing and painting):
Rupa-bhedah, or form distinction; this requires a knowledge of characteristic marks, diversity, manifested forms that distinguish states of something in the same genus/class
Pramanani, or measure; requires knowledge of measurement and proportion rules (talamana)
Bhava yojanam, or emotion and its joining with other parts of the painting; requires understanding and representing the mood of the subject
Lavanya yojanam, or rasa, charm; requires understanding and representing the inner qualities of the subject
Sadrsyam, or resemblance; requires knowledge of visual correspondence across the canvas
Varnika-bhanga or color-pigment-analysis; requires knowledge how colors distribute on the canvas and how they visually impact the viewer.
These six limbs are arranged stylistically in two ways. First as a set of compound (Rupa-bhedah and Varnika-bhanda), a set of joining (middle two yojnam), and a set of single words (Pramanani and Sadrsyam). Second, states Victor Mair, the six limbs in this Hindu text are paired in a set of differentiation skills (first two), then a pair of aesthetic skills, and finally a pair of technical skills. These limbs parallel the 12th-century Six principles of Chinese painting of Xie He. {refn|group=note|The Hua Chi of Teng Ch'un, a 12th-century Chinese text, mentions the Buddhist temple of Nalanda with frescoes about the Buddha painted inside. It states that the Indian Buddhas look different from those painted by Chinese, as the Indian paintings have Buddha with larger eyes, their ears are curiously stretched and the Buddhas have their right shoulder bare. It then states that the artists first make a drawing of the picture, then paint a vermilion or gold colored base. It also mentions the use of ox-glue and a gum produced from peach trees and willow juice, with the artists preferring the latter. According to Coomaraswamy, the ox-glue in the Indian context mentioned in the Chinese text is probably the same as the recipe found in the Sanskrit text Silparatna, one where the base medium is produced from boiling buffalo skin in milk, followed by drying and blending process.
The six limbs in Jayamangala likely reflect the earliest and more established Hindu tradition for chitra. This is supported by the Chitrasutras found in the Vishnudharmottara Purana. They explicitly mention pramanani and lavanya as key elements of a painting, as well as discuss the other four of the six limbs in other sutras. The Chitrasutra chapters are likely from about the 4th or 5th-century. Numerous other Indian texts touch upon the elements or aspects of a chitra. For example, the Aparajitaprccha states that the essential elements of a painting are: citrabhumi (background), the rekha (lines, sketch), the varna (color), the vartana (shading), the bhusana (decoration) and the rasa (aesthetic experience).
THE PAINTER
The painter (chitrakara, rupakara) must master the fundamentals of measurement and proportions, state the historic chitra texts of India. According to these historic texts, the expert painter masters the skills in measurement, characteristics of subjects, attributes, form, relative proportion, ornament and beauty, states Isabella Nardi – a scholar known for her studies on chitra text and traditions of India. According to the Chitrasutras, a skilled painter needs practice, and is one who is able to paint neck, hands, feet, ears of living beings without ornamentation, as well as paint water waves, flames, smoke, and garments as they get affected by the speed of wind. He paints all types of scenes, ranging from dharma, artha and kama. A painter observes, then remembers, repeating this process till his memory has all the details he needs to paint, states Silparatna. According to Sivatattva Ratnakara, he is well versed in sketching, astute with measurements, skilled in outlining (hastalekha), competent with colors, and ready to diligently mix and combine colors to create his chitra. The painter is a creative person, with an inner sense of rasa (aesthetics).
THE VIEWER
The painter should consider the diversity of viewers, states the Indian tradition of chitra. The experts and critics with much experience with paintings study the lines, shading and aesthetics, the uninitiated visitors and children enjoy the vibrancy of colors, while women tend to be attracted to the ornamentation of form and the emotions. A successful painter tends to captivate a variety of minds. A painter should remember that the visual and aesthetic impact of a painting triggers different responses in different audiences.
The Silparatna – a Sanskrit text on the arts, states that the painting should reflect its intended place and purpose. A theme suitable for a palace or gateway is different from that in a temple or the walls of a home. Scenes of wars, misery, death and suffering are not suitable paintings within homes, but these can be important in a chitrasala (museum with paintings). Auspicious paintings with beautiful colors such as those that cheer and enliven a room are better for homes, states Silparatna.
PRACITICE
According to the art historian Percy Brown, the painting tradition in India is ancient and the persuasive evidence are the oldest known murals at the Jogimara caves. The mention of chitra and related terms in the pre-Buddhist Vedic era texts, the chitra tradition is much older. It is very likely, states Brown, the pre-Buddhist structures had paintings in them. However, the primary building material in ancient India was wood, the colors were organic materials and natural pigments, which when combined with the tropical weather in India would naturally cause the painting to fade, damage and degrade over the centuries. It is not surprising, therefore, that sample paintings and historic evidence for chitra practice are unusual. The few notable surviving examples of chitra are found hidden in caves, where they would be naturally preserved a bit better, longer and would be somewhat protected from the destructive effects of wind, dust, water and biological processes.
Some notable, major surviving examples of historic paintings include:
Murals at Jogimara cave (eight panels of murals, with a Brahmi inscription, 2nd or 1st century BCE, Hindu), oldest known ceiling paintings in India in remote Ramgarh hills of northern Chhattisgarh, below on wall of this cave is a Brahmi inscription in Magadhi language about a girl named Devadasi and a boy named Devadina (either they were lovers and wrote a love-graffiti per one translation, or they were partners who together converted natural caves here into a theatre with painted walls per another translation)
Mural at Sitabhinji Group of Rock Shelters (c. 400 CE Ravanachhaya mural with an inscription, near a Shiva temple in remote Odisha, a non-religious painting), the oldest surviving example of a tempera painting in eastern states of India
Murals at Ajanta caves (Jataka tales, Buddhist), 5th-century CE, Maharashtra
Murals at Badami Cave Temples (Hindu), 6th-century CE, Karnataka (secular paintings along with one of the earliest known painting of a Hindu legend about Shiva and Parvati inside a Vaishnava cave)
Murals at Bagh caves (Hallisalasya dance, Buddhist or Hindu), Madhya Pradesh
Murals at Ellora caves (Flying vidyadharas, Jain), Maharashtra
Frescoes at Sittanavasal cave (Nature scenes likely representing places of Tirthankara sermons, Jain), Tamil Nadu
Frescoes at Thirunadhikkara cave temple (Flowers and a woman, likely a scene of puja offering to Ganesha, another of Vishnu, Hindu), Travancore region, Kerala-Tamil Nadu
Paintings at the Brihadisvara temple (Dancer, Hindu), Tamil Nadu
Manuscript paintings (numerous states such as Gujarat, Kashmir, Kerala, Odisha, Assam; also Nepal, Tibet; Buddhist, Jain, Hindu
Vijayanagara temples (Hindu), Karnataka
Chidambaram temple (Hindu), Tamil Nadu
Chitrachavadi (Hindu, a choultry–mandapa near Madurai with Ramayana frescoes)
Pahari paintings (Hindu), Himachal Pradesh and nearby regions
Rajput paintings (Hindu), Rajasthan
Deccan paintings (Hindu, Jain)
Kerala paintings (Hindu)
Telangana paintings (Hindu)
Mughal paintings (Indo-Islamic)
CONTEMPORARY CULTURE
Kalamkari (Hindu)
Pattas (Jain, Hindu)
WIKIPEDIA
Edie N.O.S. (1996 - 2014) was the thinnest model ever to work the runway.
The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.
Read more about the project here:
tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html
Purchase prints here:
The Man Who Created Light to Overcome Darkness
Though Betty Jean Lifton has written the definitive English-language biography of Janusz Korczak in the form of her excellent The King of Children: The Life and Death of Janusz Korczak, Adir Cohen here offers an in-depth and insightful portrait of the Polish educator who devoted his life - and ultimately perished for his love of children. He thoroughly covers this beloved children's advocate's philosophy of life and learning, as well as how his writings and practices reflect the man, his thoughts, and his personal, ethical, and religious values.
The book starts out with Korczak's background and early childhood, both of which were formative in his declaration of his desire to change the world, first as a doctor and later as an educator. The new orphanage at 92 Krochmalna (Warsaw, Poland) is discussed, as is the life of the orphans there. Cohen also chronicles Korczak's later years - his visits to Kibbutz Ein Harod in Palestine and the increasingly difficult life for Jews under the ominous dark clouds of the rise of Nazism - culminating with the hell that was the Warsaw Ghetto. The primary sources are How to Love a Child and The Ghetto Dairy.
The second chapter explores Korczak's religious life. Though Korczak was not a member of a temple or other religious institution, Cohen portrays him as a man with an intense religious longing an acute seeker of perfect justice and ideal moral values and behavior. He postulated that one's perception of God is highly personal, especially as God lies within the soul of each living person, which includes every child. Jewish ritual was a very important part of life at the orphanage, but prayers were always kept in silence, allowing each child and teacher to express or her religious belief individually.
The third chapter discusses his early work in children's camps and how, though intense reflection, sought to learn from his mistakes as a new teacher. Korczak himself discussed these experiences in a separate chapter of How to Love a Child and how listening to the voice within would become central to his ways as an educator.
Chapter 4 covers the orphanage as "a home and house of education." Korczak sought to discern three elements in the orphanage, namely fulfilling children's immediate biological needs and protection from outside dangers; ensuring and environment in which each child will be able to develop his or her physical, social, academic, and spiritual talents (with the Alderian concept that each child is unique, with his or her similarly unique background which must be taken into consideration)
Chapter 5 goes into internalizing the father and mother as role models in building the personality of the child. Cohen also discusses the Children's court, with its focus on education through forgiveness rather than punishment, and the importance of communication through the children's newspapers and bulletin board, as detailed in How to Love a Child. This theme is explored further in Chapter 10. Also central to Korczak's philosophy was that one should not preach but, rather, express a generous (and forgiving) attitude, that corporal punishment in any of its manifestations is wrong, and that learning right from wrong is more important than any academic matter. In short, children must be viewed as persons worthy of respect who should be accorded full human rights.
In Chapter 6, Cohen discusses the importance Korczak placed on child's play as a moment that belonged entirely to the child, a time in which he or she could realize childhood dreams, especially those they were not sure adults were willing to take seriously.
How Korczak incorporated his background in medicine in his teaching is the topic of Chapter 7, mainly in that he did his best to educate the child but realized he had little control in the child's ultimate outcome beyond the positive moral values he sought to instill. He went on to show how "to do no harm," or "to touch without burdening" in Chapter 8. The educator is obliged to know the secret of giving, the secret of surrender, the secret of devotion. Moreover, the educator must learn from his mistakes and extend that privilege to his students. Korczak was very much a progressive educator, in the manner of John Dewey, whereby children are encouraged to learn from experience and free activity rather than being handed orders from above; here Chapter 9 is in a way an extension of Chapter 7, in that children are encouraged to take advantage of life's opportunities now rather than prepare for some nebulous future. Moreover, children should be encourage to explore and search for new learning rather than rely on material handed down. In addition, Cohen reports that Korczak warned against following a single school of thought in teaching, something that corresponds to his warning not to rely on books - especially a single book - on child rearing.
The remainder of the book explores Korczak's writings. The Drawing Room Kid exposes the hypocrisy and decadence of the Polish bourgeoisie, especially in their attitudes toward the poor. Published in 1925, When I Shall Be Little Again, is Korczak's description how he is able to relate to children on their terms, first imagining himself being little among the adults in his life and then himself as the adult and his peers as children, a feat of literary philosophy that has never been replicated with the skill that Korczak has shown. Korczak also devoted special attention to the relationships among the children, both their compassion and their malice (and how the two polar opposites could seemingly coexist). He has succeeded in showing both how adults view children and how children view adults. In The Senate of Madmen, Korczak explores insanity in multiple manifestations, including his autobiographical memory of his own father, who died in an institution. Cohen quotes other authors' commentary on how this work is also a metaphor for the madness of institutions in society. Cohen's chapter on the Ghetto Diary is surprisingly short, but it does a good job in exploring Korczak's attempt to find meaning in the face of death - what it will mean to him, his orphans, the Jewish people, and humanity overall. This remarkable short book is deep on reflection, almost an abbreviated autobiography. Finally, Cohen explores Korczak's two-part masterpiece of children's fairy tale fiction, King Matt and King Matt and the Desert Island, how these remarkable books have enchanted children and adults who can empathize with children for decades. Unlike most fairy tales, there is no happy ending, except for hope; perhaps that is where happiness ultimately lies. That was certainly true of Korczak himself, as Adir Cohen's superb study so aptly shows.
The U.S. Military Academy at West Point hosts Projects Day on May 3, 2018. Projects Day highlights academic excellence across USMA showcasing leaders of character who think critically, internalize their professional identity and will employ their education to help build the Army and the Nation’s future. (U.S. Army photo by Michelle Eberhart)
Gary Clark Jr.
Magazzini Generali - Milano
23 Maggio 2014
ph © Mairo Cinquetti
o sum up Gary Clark Jr. is more challenging every day. He’s a musical universe unto himself, expanding at a nearly immeasurable rate, ever more hard to define — as a mind-blowing guitarist, a dazzling songwriter and engagingly soulful singer.
With his debut album Blak And Blu he has just become the first artist ever recognized by the Recording Academy with Grammy Award nominations in both the rock and R&B categories for the same album in the same year, winning the latter: Best Traditional R&B Performance” - “Please Come Home” (from the album Blak And Blu). And the day after claiming those honors he provided one of the highlights of the highlights-filled “The Night That Changed America: A Grammy Salute to the Beatles,” with sparks flying as he dueled with Joe Walsh on an incendiary “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” Dave Grohl behind them pounding the drums.
But that barely scratches the surface. The album’s a rocket ride from the Mississippi Delta of a century ago to multiple points still out beyond the horizon. Rock and R&B sure, but blues, soul, pop, psychedelia, punk and hip-hop are also in Clark’s expansive musical embrace and insatiable hunger for inspiration, which he’s internalized into music all his own. And his two acoustic blues performances on the soundtrack album for the acclaimed movie 12 Years a Slave show the distinct talent and personality he brings to his music.
That, in turn, has been inspirational to others — including some who inspired him. Just ask Eric Clapton, the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Jay-Z, Jimmy Page, Alicia Keys, the Roots, Buddy guy, Dave Matthews, Roger Waters, Keith Urban, Sheryl Crow, Jeff Beck, among the many who hailed his arrival as a major talent and cherished chances to perform with him. It’s no accident that he was invited to make more “special guest” appearances on the Stones’ recent 50th anniversary tour than any other artist, including the concluding Hyde Park blowout in which he and band also were the opening act.
Or ask President Barak Obama himself, who seeing Clark command the stage of the PBS White House concert honoring the blues — with Jagger, Beck, B.B. King and Buddy Guy among the veterans performing — declared of the young man, “He’s the future.”
Rolling Stone dubbed Clark “The King of the Summer Festivals” as he captivated audiences from Coachella to Glastonbury, Lollapalooza to the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, from Metallica’s Orion Festival to Jay-Z’s Made in America, and of course his hometown Austin City Limits Festival, where he his band set a daytime attendance record. He’s dominated late night and daytime TV with multiple appearances on Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, Conan, Fallon, Arsenio Hall, Queen Latifah, Today, CBS This Morning and so on. Guitar Player magazine made him the first emerging artist to grace its cover in more than 15 years. Rolling Stone proclaimed him no less than “The Chosen One.”
It’s a lot to live up to, but through it all his musical ambition and reach continue to grow. New songs he’s previewed to delighted audiences show him exploring ever further combinations of sounds and styles, all with his distinct stamp.
A man of few words, he’s quietly grateful that the music he makes his way has connected with so many. “To think a weird idea I noodled on at the house has gone to something 40,000 people might hear at a festival is an indescribable feeling,” he told Esquire recently. “As cool as I might try to be, I think, ‘Oh my God, this is real!’”
Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.
NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.
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CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden
Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224. 1044, extension 264
agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD
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Macro Economic Drivers of Philippine Capital Markets
Rules Applicable to Philippines
Sell the Losers and Let the Winners Run
Institutions go where the Action is
Respect the Relative Strength
Eye ball the Mean Regression
www.mystockquery.com/historical_netforeignbuys.php
WELCOME NEW TAPPERS!! PLEASE READ FIRST: TAP's Mission Statement
www.facebook.com/groups/559132980815544/
TAP was formed by investment banker Tony Herbosa with
1.Roy "Senyor" Reyes - Swing Trading, Technical Analysis (TA)
2.Atty. Christian Del Rosario - Wealth preservation, Legal Aspects
3.Kithe Ortiz - Insurance, and
4.yours truly - Position Trading, Speculation, OPM/Leverage
Our goal is to reach out to younger Filipinos on HOW to create WEALTH.
Our ultimate objective is to kill "chicken joy" WEALTH formulas put out there, propagated by those who never made any serious wealth. There is so much ignorance out there that will only detract you from making any serious progress.
For one, there are many financial literacy "gurus" out there, and they supply you the basics of getting "financially fit". You need them and they do a good job. But being "financially fit", is not the same as being wealthy.
TAP doesn't believe true Wealth Creation can be learned by simply attending seminars. It's not what you KNOW, it's HOW you UNDERSTAND what you KNOW, after you have applied and experienced what you KNOW, and that leads to WISDOM.
Thus, it's best learned through interactions over time with other mentors, peers, buddies in actual "marketplace" conditions. After early wins, you become Bolder & BOLDER! Gradually strengthening both psychology & emotions, which are integral. Nothing wrong with starting small, i.e. "baby steps" until you can RUN.
Money and basic stock market seminars are a good 1st step to Basic Fundamentals, but they alone will not deliver actual results in a "chaotic" market place filled with volatility if not traps. Hence, a little fundamental knowledge is dangerous without the right market "instincts" or contextual experience.
TAP's approach to Wealth Creation is through distinct Modules and through Mentors. Best way to achieve your wealth GOALS is by being exposed to the right mentors and market PRACTICIONERS, where positive reinforcement in actual, DYNAMIC trading environments, emotional cycles such as "fear & greed", crowd psychology, and various asset classes are discussed.
TAP's basic beliefs as espoused by its TAP founders are as follows:
1) You cannot be a "one dimensional" wealth creator, just like you cannot be a ONE DIMENSIONAL MMA fighter in a chaotic battlefield. You need to have varied skill sets,- striking, wrestling, kicking & submission, but more importantly the ART of Fighting itself, including that ability to read your opponent. So you cannot overstay in the casino, nor can you "over depend" on stock trading or mere "savings" to become wealthy. But stock trading, when used to surf the PERFECT waves 1 & 3 or even 5 - or a specific stock play, can speed up your capital formation.
2) The key to a good fighter or a good trader is BALANCE. You cannot be a wealth creator & not have balance: TA vs. FA, long term vs. short term, swing vs. position, being cool vs. being edgy, financial vs. real assets, safe vs. riskier (but higher return) instruments, incremental plays vs. strategic home runs in Waves 1 and 3, downsizing bets in waves 2 and 4 and strategically "up sizing" for waves 1, 3 and 5.
Also everything must be aligned: 1) your Knowledge/Skills, 2) your understanding of Markets and Chaos, 3) the various Asset Classes ( i.e. the Wealth vehicles), and most significantly your 4) understanding of How the Game or POKER is played (i.e. the Art of Betting).
On top of these four (4) above, most important of all is your MENTAL GAME, your emotions, your ability to be detached from fear or greed when the time comes, your "Situational Awareness" gravitating from small to bigger bets in face of market chaos and panic, your ability not to brood over losses and move on. Part of this MENTAL GAME is how to lear how to think out-of-the-box, not to be linear and simply "think differently". Because CHAOS and the fruits of chaos is not often linear.
3) The key to making wealth is not simply avoiding RISK, it's understanding risk and embracing it. To learn to fight, you have to spar a lot. For instance, if you turn over your money to UITF guys or the banks, your chance of making money short term is greater. But longer term, you will not develop the right 'life or death' instincts. To learn to fly a plane, one cannot be on auto-pilot. You need that learning curve.
4) There is no such thing as a 5-year horizon in stocks. It depends on the bull cycle wave. You can be 5-year investor if you came in 2009. Crazy to be 5-year stock investor today when we are on Elliot Wave 5 and QE is about to end.
5) You have to embrace CHAOS. Chaos in markets is your friend. It is the one that gives you a chance. Without CHAOS, only the most logical, linear, deep pocket guys will make money. Like billiards, the game is to spot the next 4 shots way ahead,- not the immediate shot at hand which any dude can figure out.
TAP is the opposite of GO NEGOSYO. If you want to get rich without making bantay a restaurant 24/7 or running after sales quotas or receivables - TAP is for you. You may not be as wealthy as the founder of Jolibee Foods, but you will have more time for more important things like - family time, ball time, mah jong time, beach time, mall time, coffee or "tsismis" time with your kumare or people you love and cherish. Let me ask you, didn't Manny Pacquiao have a "Go Negosyo" strategy? What if he just invested all those billions in 2009 (start of supercycle Wave 1) in DMC, EEI, ALI or Aboitiz? What would that amount be now if he merely had a Trader's Apprentice strategy?
Ultimately, TAP is about FUN and FREEDOM, a journey of kindred spirits who believe that in "BARANGAY TAP" is where it all starts. If you have gym buddies, running buddies, dive buddies, travel buddies, drinking buddies, - then you need wealth creation buddies too.
TAP is for you, if you like > 1) REAL Talk, 2) if you believe you cannot grow wealth unless you internalize the right Wealth Strategies & Instincts, and lastly 3) if you believe that losing weight or gaining wealth involves not just silly formulas but a NEW "way of life" and a " way of thinking" that you build slowly on top of each success or milestone. Welcome to TAP!
A thangka, also known as tangka, thanka or tanka (Nepali pronunciation: [ˈt̪ʰaŋka]; Tibetan: ཐང་ཀ་; Nepal Bhasa: पौभा) is a painting on cotton, or silk appliqué, usually depicting a Buddhist deity, scene, or mandala of some sort. The thangka is not a flat creation like an oil painting or acrylic painting but consists of a picture panel which is painted or embroidered over which a textile is mounted and then over which is laid a cover, usually silk. Generally, thangkas last a very long time and retain much of their lustre, but because of their delicate nature, they have to be kept in dry places where moisture won't affect the quality of the silk. It is sometimes called a scroll-painting.
These thangka served as important teaching tools depicting the life of the Buddha, various influential lamas and other deities and bodhisattvas. One subject is The Wheel of Life, which is a visual representation of the Abhidharma teachings (Art of Enlightenment).
Thangka, when created properly, perform several different functions. Images of deities can be used as teaching tools when depicting the life (or lives) of the Buddha, describing historical events concerning important Lamas, or retelling myths associated with other deities. Devotional images act as the centerpiece during a ritual or ceremony and are often used as mediums through which one can offer prayers or make requests. Overall, and perhaps most importantly, religious art is used as a meditation tool to help bring one further down the path to enlightenment. The Buddhist Vajrayana practitioner uses a thanga image of their yidam, or meditation deity, as a guide, by visualizing “themselves as being that deity, thereby internalizing the Buddha qualities (Lipton, Ragnubs).”
Historians note that Chinese painting had a profound influence on Tibetan painting in general. Starting from the 14th and 15th century, Tibetan painting had incorporated many elements from the Chinese, and during the 18th century, Chinese painting had a deep and far-stretched impact on Tibetan visual art. According to Giuseppe Tucci, by the time of the Qing Dynasty, "a new Tibetan art was then developed, which in a certain sense was a provincial echo of the Chinese 18th century's smooth ornate preciosity."
HISTORY
Thangka is a Nepalese art form exported to Tibet after Princess Bhrikuti of Nepal, daughter of King Lichchavi, married Songtsän Gampo, the ruler of Tibet imported the images of Aryawalokirteshwar and other Nepalese deities to Tibet. History of thangka Paintings in Nepal began in the 11th century A.D. when Buddhists and Hindus began to make illustration of the deities and natural scenes. Historically, Tibetan and Chinese influence in Nepalese paintings is quite evident in Paubhas (Thangkas). Paubhas are of two types, the Palas which are illustrative paintings of the deities and the Mandala, which are mystic diagrams paintings of complex test prescribed patterns of circles an square each having specific significance. It was through Nepal that Mahayana Buddhism was introduced into Tibet during reign of Angshuvarma in the seventh century A.D. There was therefore a great demand for religious icons and Buddhist manuscripts for newly built monasteries throughout Tibet. A number of Buddhist manuscripts, including Prajnaparamita, were copied in Kathmandu Valley for these monasteries. Astasahas rika Prajnaparamita for example, was copied in Patan in the year 999 A.D., during the reign of Narendra Dev and Udaya Deva, for the Sa-Shakya monastery in Tibet. For the Nor monastery in Tibet, two copies were made in Nepal-one of Astasahasrika Prajnaparamita in 1069 A.D. and the other of Kavyadarsha in 1111 A.D. The influence of Nepalese art extended till Tibet and even beyond in China in regular order during the thirteenth century. Nepalese artisans were dispatched to the courts of Chinese emperors at their request to perform their workmanship and impart expert knowledge. The exemplary contribution made by the artisans of Nepal, specially by the Nepalese innovator and architect Balbahu, known by his popular name Araniko bear testimony to this fact even today. After the introduction of paper, palm leaf became less popular, however, it continued to be used until the eighteenth century. Paper manuscripts imitated the oblong shape but were wider than the palm leaves.
From the fifteenth century onwards, brighter colours gradually began to appear in Nepalese.Thanka / Thangka. Because of the growing importance of the Tantric cult, various aspects of Shiva and Shakti were painted in conventional poses. Mahakala, Manjushri, Lokeshwara and other deities were equally popular and so were also frequently represented in Thanka / Thangka paintings of later dates. As Tantrism embodies the ideas of esoteric power, magic forces, and a great variety of symbols, strong emphasis is laid on the female element and sexuality in the paintings of that period.
Religious paintings worshipped as icons are known as Paubha in Newari and Thanka / Thangka in Tibetan. The origin of Paubha or Thanka / Thangka paintings may be attributed to the Nepalese artists responsible for creating a number of special metal works and wall- paintings as well as illuminated manuscripts in Tibet. Realizing the great demand for religious icons in Tibet, these artists, along with monks and traders, took with them from Nepal not only metal sculptures but also a number of Buddhist manuscripts. To better fulfil the ever - increasing demand Nepalese artists initiated a new type of religious painting on cloth that could be easily rolled up and carried along with them. This type of painting became very popular both in Nepal and Tibet and so a new school of Thanka / Thangka painting evolved as early as the ninth or tenth century and has remained popular to this day. One of the earliest specimens of Nepalese Thanka / Thangka painting dates from the thirteenth /fourteenth century and shows Amitabha surrounded by Bodhisattva. Another Nepalese Thanka / Thangka with three dates in the inscription (the last one corresponding to 1369 A.D.), is one of the earliest known Thanka / Thangka with inscriptions. The "Mandalaof Vishnu " dated 1420 A.D., is another fine example of the painting of this period. Early Nepalese Thangkas are simple in design and composition. The main deity, a large figure, occupies the central position while surrounded by smaller figures of lesser divinities.
Thanka / Thangka painting is one of the major science out the five major and five minor fields of knowledge. Its origin can be traced all the way back to the time of Lord Buddha. The main themes of Thanka / Thangka paintings are religious. During the reign of Tibetan Dharma King Trisong Duetsen the Tibetan masters refined their already well-developed arts through research and studies of different country's tradition. Thanka painting's lining and measurement, costumes, implementations and ornaments are mostly based on Indian styles. The drawing of figures is based on Nepalese style and the background sceneries are based on Chinese style. Thus, the Thanka / Thangka paintings became a unique and distinctive art. Although the practice of thanka painting was originally done as a way of gaining merit it has nowadays only evolved into a money making business and the noble intentions it once carried has been diluted. Tibetans do not sell Thangkas on a large scale as the selling of religious artifacts such as thangkas and idols is frowned upon in the Tibetan community and thus non Tibetan groups have been able to monopolize on its (thangka's) popularity among Buddhist and art enthusiasts from the west.
Thanka / Thangka have developed in the northern Himalayan regions among the Lamas. Besides Lamas, Gurung and Tamang communities are also producing Tankas, which provide substantial employment opportunities for many people in the hills. Newari Thankas (Also known as Paubha) has been the hidden art work in Kathmandu valley from the 13th century. We have preserved this art and are exclusively creating this with some particular painter family who have inherited their art from their forefathers. Some of the artistic religious and historical paintings are also done by the Newars of Kathmandu Valley.
TYPES
Based on technique and material, thangkas can be grouped by types. Generally, they are divided into two broad categories: those that are painted (Tib.) bris-tan—and those made of silk, either by appliqué or embroidery.
Thangkas are further divided into these more specific categories:
- Painted in colors (Tib.) tson-tang - the most common type
- Appliqué (Tib.) go-tang
- Black Background - meaning gold line on a black background (Tib.) nagtang
- Blockprints - paper or cloth outlined renderings, by woodcut/woodblock printing
- Embroidery (Tib.) tsem-thang
- Gold Background - an auspicious treatment, used judiciously for peaceful, long-life deities and fully enlightened buddhas
- Red Background - literally gold line, but referring to gold line on a vermillion (Tib.) mar-tang
Whereas typical thangkas are fairly small, between about 18 and 30 inches tall or wide, there are also giant festival thangkas, usually Appliqué, and designed to be unrolled against a wall in a monastery for particular religious occasions. These are likely to be wider than they are tall, and may be sixty or more feet across and perhaps twenty or more high.
Somewhat related are Tibetan tsakli, which look like miniature thangkas, but are usually used as initiation cards or offerings.
Because Thangkas can be quite expensive, people nowadays use posters of Thangkas as an alternative to the real thangkas for religious purposes.
PROCESS
Thangkas are painted on cotton or silk. The most common is a loosely woven cotton produced in widths from 40 to 58 centimeters. While some variations do exist, thangkas wider than 45 centimeters frequently have seams in the support. The paint consists of pigments in a water soluble medium. Both mineral and organic pigments are used, tempered with a herb and glue solution. In Western terminology, this is a distemper technique.
The composition of a thangka, as with the majority of Buddhist art, is highly geometric. Arms, legs, eyes, nostrils, ears, and various ritual implements are all laid out on a systematic grid of angles and intersecting lines. A skilled thangka artist will generally select from a variety of predesigned items to include in the composition, ranging from alms bowls and animals, to the shape, size, and angle of a figure's eyes, nose, and lips. The process seems very methodical, but often requires deep understanding of the symbolism involved to capture the spirit of it.
Thangka often overflow with symbolism and allusion. Because the art is explicitly religious, all symbols and allusions must be in accordance with strict guidelines laid out in Buddhist scripture. The artist must be properly trained and have sufficient religious understanding, knowledge, and background to create an accurate and appropriate thangka. Lipton and Ragnubs clarify this in Treasures of Tibetan Art:
“Tibetan art exemplifies the nirmanakaya, the physical body of Buddha, and also the qualities of the Buddha, perhaps in the form of a deity. Art objects, therefore, must follow rules specified in the Buddhist scriptures regarding proportions, shape, color, stance, hand positions, and attributes in order to personify correctly the Buddha or Deities.”
WIKIPEDIA
Gary Clark Jr.
Magazzini Generali - Milano
23 Maggio 2014
ph © Mairo Cinquetti
o sum up Gary Clark Jr. is more challenging every day. He’s a musical universe unto himself, expanding at a nearly immeasurable rate, ever more hard to define — as a mind-blowing guitarist, a dazzling songwriter and engagingly soulful singer.
With his debut album Blak And Blu he has just become the first artist ever recognized by the Recording Academy with Grammy Award nominations in both the rock and R&B categories for the same album in the same year, winning the latter: Best Traditional R&B Performance” - “Please Come Home” (from the album Blak And Blu). And the day after claiming those honors he provided one of the highlights of the highlights-filled “The Night That Changed America: A Grammy Salute to the Beatles,” with sparks flying as he dueled with Joe Walsh on an incendiary “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” Dave Grohl behind them pounding the drums.
But that barely scratches the surface. The album’s a rocket ride from the Mississippi Delta of a century ago to multiple points still out beyond the horizon. Rock and R&B sure, but blues, soul, pop, psychedelia, punk and hip-hop are also in Clark’s expansive musical embrace and insatiable hunger for inspiration, which he’s internalized into music all his own. And his two acoustic blues performances on the soundtrack album for the acclaimed movie 12 Years a Slave show the distinct talent and personality he brings to his music.
That, in turn, has been inspirational to others — including some who inspired him. Just ask Eric Clapton, the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Jay-Z, Jimmy Page, Alicia Keys, the Roots, Buddy guy, Dave Matthews, Roger Waters, Keith Urban, Sheryl Crow, Jeff Beck, among the many who hailed his arrival as a major talent and cherished chances to perform with him. It’s no accident that he was invited to make more “special guest” appearances on the Stones’ recent 50th anniversary tour than any other artist, including the concluding Hyde Park blowout in which he and band also were the opening act.
Or ask President Barak Obama himself, who seeing Clark command the stage of the PBS White House concert honoring the blues — with Jagger, Beck, B.B. King and Buddy Guy among the veterans performing — declared of the young man, “He’s the future.”
Rolling Stone dubbed Clark “The King of the Summer Festivals” as he captivated audiences from Coachella to Glastonbury, Lollapalooza to the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, from Metallica’s Orion Festival to Jay-Z’s Made in America, and of course his hometown Austin City Limits Festival, where he his band set a daytime attendance record. He’s dominated late night and daytime TV with multiple appearances on Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, Conan, Fallon, Arsenio Hall, Queen Latifah, Today, CBS This Morning and so on. Guitar Player magazine made him the first emerging artist to grace its cover in more than 15 years. Rolling Stone proclaimed him no less than “The Chosen One.”
It’s a lot to live up to, but through it all his musical ambition and reach continue to grow. New songs he’s previewed to delighted audiences show him exploring ever further combinations of sounds and styles, all with his distinct stamp.
A man of few words, he’s quietly grateful that the music he makes his way has connected with so many. “To think a weird idea I noodled on at the house has gone to something 40,000 people might hear at a festival is an indescribable feeling,” he told Esquire recently. “As cool as I might try to be, I think, ‘Oh my God, this is real!’”
Barbara Gittings (left), an early lesbian rights activist, takes part in a panel discussion before a 50-member audience composed mostly of Catholic clergy November 12, 1970 at Catholic University.
Seated are Gittings, Lilli Vincens, a woman identified only as Misty, and Mo and Dr. Dorothy Starr.
Gittings and long-time gay activist Franklin Kameny were the gay “luminaries” invited to the conference on theology and homosexuality.
The five-day conference was interrupted that day by about 35 members of the Gay Liberation Front took who over the auditorium stage at McMahon Hall auditorium.
The protesters began their disruption about 2:00 in the afternoon as conference chair Dr. John R. Cavanagh began reading a treatise on homosexuality as a cause of marital discord.
While his companions hugged, held hands and occasionally kissed, a spokesperson produced a pink sheet and began reading from it.
“As members of the Gay Liberation Front, we deny your right to conduct this seminar.”
“It is precisely such institutions as the Catholic church and psychiatry which have created and perpetuated the immorality, myths and stereotypes of homosexuality which we as homosexuals have internalized and from which we now intend to liberate ourselves.”
“Only we as homosexuals can determine from our own experiences what our identity will be.”
The group then left the stage, paraded their pink flag around the room and regrouped outside where they left in a car caravan.
Dr. Cavanagh said afterward, “This conference isn’t supposed to be a forum to promote homosexuality. Our purpose here is to instruct these people in religious instittuions who don’t know anything about homosexuality. These things don’t prove anything to me but bad manners.”
Kameny, president of the Mattachine Society—an early gay rights group, smiled and told reporters, “I’m the token homosexual of the conference.”
The conference was sponsored by the School of Sacred Theology at Catholic University and the program included topics such as the clinical and psychological aspects of homosexuality, its relationship to theology and homosexuals in marriage.
Gittings and Kemeny were early gay rights advocates establishing groups in the 1950s and picketing the White House, Pentagon and the Civil Service in 1965—the first known organized public protests by gay rights advocates.
Gittings was edtor of The Ladder, an early lesbian magazine in the 1960s and was headed the American Library Association’s Gay Task Force.
Kameny waged a 30 year campaign to overturn D.C.’s sodomy laws and, along with Gittings, was successful in getting the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from the list of mental diseases in 1973.
Kameny remarked tongue-in-cheek that December 15, 1973 was the day "we were cured en masse by the psychiatrists..”
He ran for office a number o times and remained an activist the rest of his life.
Kamendy died in 2011. Gittings died in 2007.
The Gay Liberation Front
In D.C. at least two communal collectives existed in the Dupont Circle area. They were multi-racial and initially included members of both sexes, but as time passed the women moved on to form their own groups like the Furies.
Locally the GLF staged the Nov. 28, 1970 demonstration at the Zephyr Bar on upper Wisconsin Avenue after four GLF members were refused service.
Several dozen GLF members and supporters came to the restaurant and staged an impromptu demonstration chanting slogans inside the restaurant. Some minor property damage occurred and twelve GLF demonstrators were arrested, although charges were later dropped.
The GLF also was responsible for the Nov. 1970 disruption of a conference on the “psychiatric treatment of homosexuals” at Catholic University.
The D.C. GLF also played a role in the Panther’s Revolutionary People’s Constitutional Convention also in Nov. 1970. They wrote an expansive platform proposal on gay and lesbian rights that was adopted by the convention.
Press reports indicated the collectives lingered for some time, but disbanded in the mid 1970s.
For more information and related images, see flic.kr/s/aHsjCQ69wA
Photo by Bill Beall. The image is courtesy of the D.C. Public Library Washington Star Collection © Washington Post.
(http://www.artdaily.org/index.asp?int_sec=11&int_new=47124)
NEW YORK, NY.- Madison Square Park Conservancy’s Mad. Sq. Art presents the New York public art premiere of internationally acclaimed artist Jaume Plensa, featuring a new monumental, site-specific sculpture for Madison Square Park. Plensa’s Echo marks the single largest monolithic work of art presented in the 7-year history of Mad. Sq. Art, on view May 5 through mid- August 2011.
Echo, Plensaʼs new site-specific installation serves as a monument to everyday people, both within and without Madison Square Park. Creatively inspired by the presence of the 9-year old daughter of a restaurant proprietor near Plensaʼs home in Barcelona, the 44-feet tall sculpture comprised of white fiberglass resin depicts the face of this inspiring young girl in a dream state from the neck, up. Plensaʼs sculpture, made from marble gel-coated fiberglass-reinforced plastic, can be sited on the central Oval Lawn of Madison Square Park. Its monumental size and vertical orientation reflect the parkʼs surrounding architecture, while the visage of the sculptorʼs subject exudes a welcoming tranquility perfectly suited to this cherished urban oasis.
Drawing inspiration from the presence of a real person in real time, Plensaʼs monumental sculpture also references the myth of the Greek nymph Echo. According to Greek mythology, Echo was a nymph, who loved her own voice until it was later taken. From that point forward the legend tells of Echo being able to utter the thoughts of others but not her own. Jaume Plensaʼs Echo plays on the tale of this Greek myth, creating a sculpture of massive scale drawing parallels to the Greek Echoʼs origins as a mountain nymph. The reference is carried further by the artistʼs decision to depict the young 9-year old girlʼs face in a dream state, translating this massive sculptural portrait into a physical monument of all the voices and thoughts of others internalized by Madison Square Park as by the nymph in the myth of Echo.
Artist Jaume Plensa comments: Echo is the representation of the head of a young girl in a dream state. If in the myth of the nymph Echo, she was forced by the goddess to repeat the words uttered by others, in my project, the head becomes a mirror in where people can see themselves. With this work I aim to introduce quietness and serenity in Madison Square Park, to transform the Park further into a place to rest and dream. With Echo, I aim to create a new intimate place in the heart of NY, in where we can finally repeat the real words of our souls.”
“The Madison Square Park Conservancy is thrilled to present the New York City public art debut of Jaume Plensa, an artist who has contributed so much to the field of contemporary art in cities all around the world,” said Debbie Landau, President of the Madison Square Park Conservancy. “Jaume is an extraordinary artist and an incredibly compassionate person, qualities which are reflected in works of art that poetically bridge the boundaries between many different nationalities and cultures. Madison Square Park is a cherished public space at the heart of a culturally diverse city, making it the ideal home for the monumental and celebratory Echo, which itself is a perfect reflection of the vibrancy, vitality and optimism of New York City.”
Jaume Plensa, born and based in Barcelona, is one of the worldʼs leading contemporary sculptors. Working in a wide variety of materials, Plensa has invigorated the practice of figurative sculpture with works that examine the intersection of the human form, language and communication, and global citizenship. He was made a Chevalier des Arts et des Lettres by the French Ministry of Culture in 1993, among many other honors. His public art installations are particularly renowned, and include the legendary Crown Fountain in Chicagoʼs Millennium Park. Plensaʼs 2011 commission for Madison Square Park constitutes his long-awaited New York City public art debut.
Plensa is represented in New York by Galerie Lelong and in Chicago by Richard Gray Gallery.
I could think of no better model that My Scene's Kennedy for the "Broadcast Yourself" series. She has the distinctive Barbie face, with the unsettling addition of bedroom eyes, and cherry red slightly parted lips. Combined with her girlish ponytails, she channels a myriad of forbidden fantasies and desires. I decided to use a different doll's body, which I chose for its suggestive pose and sheer red nightie.
She is using her camera phone to share images of herself with the world. She makes a digital slide show for her social networking pages using a song by The Pussycat Dolls. The lyrics of the song are about wanting fame and attention, and being called sexy by boys. She knows no better way to express herself that to take photos that expose her breasts. She is not thinking of the consequences of her actions, especially what kind of influence this could have on her little sister Ana.
read more at tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/11/yasmin-kennedy-and-lol...
The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.
Read more about the project here:
tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html
Purchase prints here:
[View more photos from "Crossing Paths" on The People of Detroit]
The People of Detroit has allowed me to cross paths with folks I would not have met otherwise - given my basal metabolic rate curmudgeonly reclusiveness. Over the past year I've been obliged to attend a few events on behalf of TPOD. At several of these events, I've noticed a young man who was conspicuously tall while at the same time having a general affect that was inconspicuously unassuming. As fortuity would have it, I even accidentally collected evidence of this young man's unique disposition.
At the end of March, I made portraits of people who attended the launch of the Urban Innovation Exchange (UIX is a media initiative led by Issues Media Group with support from The Knight Foundation. The project is dedicated to profiling individuals who head and participate in community activities with a broad social impact. I will periodically contribute content from TPOD to the UIX project). One of the people I photographed was the dualistic mystery man.
While most of the attendees posed conventionally, when I raised my camera to the mystery man, he mirrored by motion and concealed himself behind a flier - forfeiting attention for himself in lieu of attention for his cause.
Yet again, I'd crossed paths with an interesting, socially engaged Detroiter.
As it turned out, the unpretentious mystery man was also concerned with crossing paths. The flier promoted Pathways to Parks - an innovative, emerging organization dedicated to creating public gathering places along busy pedestrian thoroughfares.
The theory is if people come together in public, they get to know each other. When they get to know each other, they think of each other as part of a whole. When they think of themselves as part of a whole, they are more likely to think of their fates as inextricably linked and treat each other with more consideration.
Though I didn't get his information at the event, I was able to finally name the mystery man when the good people over at UIX suggested I photograph Kyle Bartell for our first joint UIX/TPOD collaboration. I arranged to meet Kyle near his place in Midtown Detroit, discussed his ideas about community spaces, and photographed him as the late afternoon sun made its final reach through the historic neighborhood's sylvan* canopy (*Bucket List item #243: Use "sylvan" in a sentence. Check).
Kyle grew up on the northwest side of Detroit. He went on to study urban planning at Arizona State and Wayne State universities. That training prompted Kyle to think about how to give purpose to the empty lots that punctuate even Detroit's more populated communities - including Midtown. He had a vision to, among other things, install benches that would transform these unused parcels into places where people stopped and communed with each other.
To realize this vision, Kyle reached out to Sue Mosey. Sue is the president of Midtown Detroit Inc. - an organization that has played a fundamental role its namesake neighborhood's redevelopment. The organization was key in Whole Foods breaking ground in the neighborhood (the store is expected to open in Spring 2013). Midtown Detroit Inc. has also been instrumental in securing millions of dollars of development funding for the area, including $22 million in 2011 from NYC-based Living Cities.
"I just emailed [Sue]," Kyle said. "That led to a walk-through identifying paths in the city; one of them being one owned by Midtown Detroit Inc. in New Center [a neighborhood just north of Midtown]."
Far too often, people in Detroit - and in urban communities in general - are imagined as hapless victims of circumstance. Many people in these communities internalize this characterization and, instead of taking whatever steps they can to affirm positive change, instead wallow in their imagined inevitable destitution. That's why I think Kyle's initiative is particularly noteworthy. He identified a problem, considered a solution, and sought out a way to implement that solution. Even still, Kyle balks at the suggestion that he is a trailblazer.
"The foot traffic of people in the community literally carves out the path," Kyle said. "All I have to do is suggest an use for it."A conspicuously lofty vision from an inconspicuously unassuming guy. A path worth following.
- Noah -
Noah Stephens founded The People of Detroit Photodocumentary in April 2010 as a counterpoint to media fixated on despair and disrepair in the storied birthplace of American auto manufacturing. Since, TPOD has received national and international attention. Portraits from the project have appeared in Bloomberg BusinessWeek and other national publications.
In early 2011, a creative director saw the project online and hired Noah to shoot an ad campaign for McDonald's Corporation in Shanghai, China.
The People of Detroit Photodocumentary is funded in part by a grant from CEOS for Cities and the John S. And James L. Knight Foundation.
Exosomes-derived from human fibroblasts, labeled with Dil, internalized in melanoma receptor cells. In green we can observe the protein Connexin43 and in blue the nucleus (DAPI).
Chitra, also spelled as Citra, is an Indian genre of art that includes painting, sketch and any art form of delineation. The earliest mention of the term Chitra in the context of painting or picture is found in some of the ancient Sanskrit texts of Hinduism and Pali texts of Buddhism
NOMENCLATURE
Chitra (IAST: Citra, चित्र) is a Sanskrit word that appears in the Vedic texts such as hymns 1.71.1 and 6.65.2 of the Rigveda. There, and other texts such as Vajasaneyi Samhita, Taittiriya Samhita, Satapatha Brahmana and Tandya Brahmana, Chitra means "excellent, clear, bright, colored, anything brightly colored that strikes the eye, brilliantly ornamented, extraordinary that evokes wonder". In the Mahabharata and the Harivamsa, it means "picture, sktech, dilineation", and is presented as a genre of kala (arts). Many texts generally dated to the post-4th-century BCE period, use the term Chitra in the sense of painting, and Chitrakara as a painter. For example, the Sanskrit grammarian Panini in verse 3.2.21 of his Astadhyayi highlights the word chitrakara in this sense. Halls and public spaces to display paintings are called chitrasalas, and the earliest known mention of these are found in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata.
A few Indian regional texts such as Kasyapa silpa refer to painting by others words. For example, abhasa – which literally means "semblance, shining forth", is used in Kasyapa-shilpa to mean as a broader category of painting, of which chitra is one of three types. The verses in section 4.4 of the Kasyapa-silpa state that there are three types of images – those which are immovable (walls, floor, terracota, stucco), movable, and those which are both movable-immovable (stone, wood, gems).[5] In each of these three, states Kasyapa-shipa, are three classes of expression – ardhacitra, citra, and citra-abhasa. Ardhacitra is an art form where a high relief is combined with painting and parts of the body is not seen (it appears to be emerging out of the canvas). The Citra is the form of picture artwork where the whole is represented with or without integrating a relief. Citrabhasha is the form where an image is represented on a canvas or wall with colors (painting). However, states Commaraswamy, the word Abhasa has other meanings depending on the context. For example, in Hindu texts on philosophy, it implies the "field of objective experience" in the sense of the intellectual image internalized by a person during a reading of a subject (such as an epic, tale or fiction), or one during a meditative spiritual experience.
In some Buddhist and Hindu texts on methods to prepare a manuscript (palm leaf) or a composition on a cloth, the terms lekhya and alekhya are also used in the context of a chitra. More specifically, alekhya is the space left while writing a manuscript leaf or cloth, where the artist aims to add a picture or painting to illustrate the text.
HISTORY
The earliest explicit reference to painting in an Indian text is found in verse 4.2 of the Maitri Upanishad where it uses the phrase citrabhittir or "like a painted wall". The Indian art of painting is also mention in a number of Buddhist Pali suttas, but with the modified spelling of Citta. This term is found in the context of either a painting, or painter, or painted-hall (citta-gara) in Majjhima Nikaya 1.127, Samyutta Nikaya 2.101 and 3.152, Vinaya 4.289 and others. Among the Jain texts, it is mentioned in Book 2 of the Acaranga Sutra as it explains that Jaina monk should not indulge in the pleasures of watching a painting.
The Kamasutra, broadly accepted to have been complete by about the 4th-century CE, recommends that the young man should surprise the girl he courts with gifts of color boxes and painted scrolls. The Viddhasalabhanjika – another Hindu kama- and kavya–text uses chitra-simile in verse 1.16, as "pictures painted by the god of love, with the brush of the mind and the canvas of the heart".
The nature of a chitra (painting), how the viewer's mind projects a two dimensional artwork into a three dimensional representation, is used by Asanga in Mahayana Sutralamkara – a 3rd to 5th-century Sanskrit text of the Mahayana Buddhist tradition, to explain "non-existent imagination" as follows:
Just as in a picture painted according to rules, there are neither projections nor depressions and yet we see it in three dimensions, so in the non-existent imagination there is no phenomenal differentiation, and yet we behold it.
— Mahayana Sutralamkara 13.7, Translated in French by Sylvain Levi
According to Yoko Taniguchi and Michiyo Mori, the art of painting the caves at the c. 6th-century Buddhas of Bamiyan site in Afghanistan, destroyed by the Taliban Muslims in the late 1990s, were likely introduced to this region from India along with the literature on early Buddhism.
TEXTS
There are many important dedicated Indian treatises on chitra. Some of these are chapters within a larger encyclopedia-like text. These include:
Chitrasutras, chapters 35–43 within the Hindu text Vishnudharmottara Purana (the standard, and oft referred to text in the Indian tradition)
Chitralaksana of Nagnajit (a classic on classical painting, 5th-century CE or earlier making it the oldest known text on Indian painting; but the Sanskrit version has been lost, only version available is in Tibet and it states that it is a translation of a Sanskrit text)
Samarangana Sutradhara (mostly architecture treatise, contains a large section on paintings)
Aparajitaprccha (mostly architecture treatise, contains a large section on paintings)
Manasollasa (an encyclopedia, contains chapters on paintings)
Abhilashitartha chinatamani
Sivatatva ratnakara
Chitra Kaladruma
Silpa ratna
Narada silpa
Sarasvati silpa
Prajapati silpa
Kasyapa silpa
These and other texts on chitra not only discuss the theory and practice of painting, some of them include discussions on how to become a painter, the diversity and the impact of a chitra on viewers, of aesthetics, how the art of painting relates to other arts (kala), methods of preparing the canvas or wall, methods and recipes to make color pigments. For example, the 10th-century Chitra Kaladruma presents recipe for making red color paint from the resin of lac insects. Other colors for the historic frescoes found in India, such as those in the Ajanta Caves, were obtained from nature. They mention earthy and mineral (inorganic) colorants such as yellow and red ochre, orpigment, green celadonite and ultramarine blue (lapis lazuli). The use of organic colorants prepared per a recipe in these texts have been confirmed through residue analysis and modern chromatographic techniques.
THEORY
The Indian concepts of painting are described in a range of texts called the shilpa shastras. These typically begin by attributing this art to divine sources such as Vishvakarma and ancient rishis (sages) such as Narayana and Nagnajit, weaving some mythology, highlighting chitra as a means to express ideas and beauty along with other universal aspects, then proceed to discuss the theory and practice of painting, sketching and other related arts. Manuscripts of many these texts are found in India, while some are known to be lost but are found outside India such as in Tibet and Nepal. Among these are the Citrasutras in the 6th-century Visnudharmottara Purana manuscripts discovered in India, and the Citralaksana manuscript discovered in Tibet (lost in India). This theory include early Indian ideas on how to prepare a canvas or substrate, measurement, proportion, stance, color, shade, projection, the painting's interaction with light, the viewer, how to captivate the mind, and other ideas.
According to the historic Indian tradition, a successful and impactful painting and painter requires a knowledge of the subject – either mythology or real life, as well as a keen sense of observation and knowledge of nature, human behavior, dance, music, song and other arts. For example, section 3.2 of Visnudharmottara Purana discusses these requirements and the contextual knowledge needed in chitra and the artist who produces it. The Chitrasutras in the Vishnudharmottara Purana state that the sculpture and painting arts are related, with the phrase "as in Natya, so in Citra". This relationship links them in rasa (aesthetics) and as forms of expression.
THE PAINTING
A chitra is a form of expression and communication. According to Aparajitaprccha – a 12th-century text on arts and architecture, just like the water reflects the moon, a chitra reflects the world. It is a rupa (form) of how the painter sees or what the painter wants the viewer to observe or feel or experience.
A good painting is one that is alive, breathing, draws in and affects the viewer. It captivates the minds of viewers, despite their diversity. Installed in a sala (hall or room), it enlivens the space.
The ornaments of a painting are its lines, shading, decoration and colors, states the 6th-century Visnudharmottara Purana. It states that there are eight gunas (merits, features) of a chitra that the artist must focus on: posture; proportion; the use of the plumb line; charm; detail (how much and where); verisimilitude; kshaya (loss, foreshortening) and; vrddhi (gain). Among the dosas (demerits, faults) of a painting and related arts, states Chitrasutra, are lines that are weak or thick, absence of variety, errors in scale (oversized eyes, lips, cheeks), inconsistency across the canvas, deviations from the rules of proportion, improper posture or sentiment, and non-merging of colors.
LIMBS OF THE PAINTING
Two historical sets called "chitra anga", or "limbs of painting" are found in Indian texts. According to the Samarangana Sutradhara – an 11th-century Sanskrit text on Hindu architecture and arts, a painting has eight limbs:
Vartika – manufacture of brushes
Bhumibandhana – preparation of base, plaster, canvas
Rekhakarma – sketching
Varnakarma – coloring
Vartanakarma – shading
lekhakarana – outlining
Dvikakarma – second and final lining
Lepyakarma – final coating
According to Yashodhara's Jayamangala, a Sanskrit commentary on Kamasutra, there are sadanga (six limbs)[note 5] in the art of alekhyam and chitra (drawing and painting):
Rupa-bhedah, or form distinction; this requires a knowledge of characteristic marks, diversity, manifested forms that distinguish states of something in the same genus/class
Pramanani, or measure; requires knowledge of measurement and proportion rules (talamana)
Bhava yojanam, or emotion and its joining with other parts of the painting; requires understanding and representing the mood of the subject
Lavanya yojanam, or rasa, charm; requires understanding and representing the inner qualities of the subject
Sadrsyam, or resemblance; requires knowledge of visual correspondence across the canvas
Varnika-bhanga or color-pigment-analysis; requires knowledge how colors distribute on the canvas and how they visually impact the viewer.
These six limbs are arranged stylistically in two ways. First as a set of compound (Rupa-bhedah and Varnika-bhanda), a set of joining (middle two yojnam), and a set of single words (Pramanani and Sadrsyam). Second, states Victor Mair, the six limbs in this Hindu text are paired in a set of differentiation skills (first two), then a pair of aesthetic skills, and finally a pair of technical skills. These limbs parallel the 12th-century Six principles of Chinese painting of Xie He. {refn|group=note|The Hua Chi of Teng Ch'un, a 12th-century Chinese text, mentions the Buddhist temple of Nalanda with frescoes about the Buddha painted inside. It states that the Indian Buddhas look different from those painted by Chinese, as the Indian paintings have Buddha with larger eyes, their ears are curiously stretched and the Buddhas have their right shoulder bare. It then states that the artists first make a drawing of the picture, then paint a vermilion or gold colored base. It also mentions the use of ox-glue and a gum produced from peach trees and willow juice, with the artists preferring the latter. According to Coomaraswamy, the ox-glue in the Indian context mentioned in the Chinese text is probably the same as the recipe found in the Sanskrit text Silparatna, one where the base medium is produced from boiling buffalo skin in milk, followed by drying and blending process.
The six limbs in Jayamangala likely reflect the earliest and more established Hindu tradition for chitra. This is supported by the Chitrasutras found in the Vishnudharmottara Purana. They explicitly mention pramanani and lavanya as key elements of a painting, as well as discuss the other four of the six limbs in other sutras. The Chitrasutra chapters are likely from about the 4th or 5th-century. Numerous other Indian texts touch upon the elements or aspects of a chitra. For example, the Aparajitaprccha states that the essential elements of a painting are: citrabhumi (background), the rekha (lines, sketch), the varna (color), the vartana (shading), the bhusana (decoration) and the rasa (aesthetic experience).
THE PAINTER
The painter (chitrakara, rupakara) must master the fundamentals of measurement and proportions, state the historic chitra texts of India. According to these historic texts, the expert painter masters the skills in measurement, characteristics of subjects, attributes, form, relative proportion, ornament and beauty, states Isabella Nardi – a scholar known for her studies on chitra text and traditions of India. According to the Chitrasutras, a skilled painter needs practice, and is one who is able to paint neck, hands, feet, ears of living beings without ornamentation, as well as paint water waves, flames, smoke, and garments as they get affected by the speed of wind. He paints all types of scenes, ranging from dharma, artha and kama. A painter observes, then remembers, repeating this process till his memory has all the details he needs to paint, states Silparatna. According to Sivatattva Ratnakara, he is well versed in sketching, astute with measurements, skilled in outlining (hastalekha), competent with colors, and ready to diligently mix and combine colors to create his chitra. The painter is a creative person, with an inner sense of rasa (aesthetics).
THE VIEWER
The painter should consider the diversity of viewers, states the Indian tradition of chitra. The experts and critics with much experience with paintings study the lines, shading and aesthetics, the uninitiated visitors and children enjoy the vibrancy of colors, while women tend to be attracted to the ornamentation of form and the emotions. A successful painter tends to captivate a variety of minds. A painter should remember that the visual and aesthetic impact of a painting triggers different responses in different audiences.
The Silparatna – a Sanskrit text on the arts, states that the painting should reflect its intended place and purpose. A theme suitable for a palace or gateway is different from that in a temple or the walls of a home. Scenes of wars, misery, death and suffering are not suitable paintings within homes, but these can be important in a chitrasala (museum with paintings). Auspicious paintings with beautiful colors such as those that cheer and enliven a room are better for homes, states Silparatna.
PRACITICE
According to the art historian Percy Brown, the painting tradition in India is ancient and the persuasive evidence are the oldest known murals at the Jogimara caves. The mention of chitra and related terms in the pre-Buddhist Vedic era texts, the chitra tradition is much older. It is very likely, states Brown, the pre-Buddhist structures had paintings in them. However, the primary building material in ancient India was wood, the colors were organic materials and natural pigments, which when combined with the tropical weather in India would naturally cause the painting to fade, damage and degrade over the centuries. It is not surprising, therefore, that sample paintings and historic evidence for chitra practice are unusual. The few notable surviving examples of chitra are found hidden in caves, where they would be naturally preserved a bit better, longer and would be somewhat protected from the destructive effects of wind, dust, water and biological processes.
Some notable, major surviving examples of historic paintings include:
Murals at Jogimara cave (eight panels of murals, with a Brahmi inscription, 2nd or 1st century BCE, Hindu), oldest known ceiling paintings in India in remote Ramgarh hills of northern Chhattisgarh, below on wall of this cave is a Brahmi inscription in Magadhi language about a girl named Devadasi and a boy named Devadina (either they were lovers and wrote a love-graffiti per one translation, or they were partners who together converted natural caves here into a theatre with painted walls per another translation)
Mural at Sitabhinji Group of Rock Shelters (c. 400 CE Ravanachhaya mural with an inscription, near a Shiva temple in remote Odisha, a non-religious painting), the oldest surviving example of a tempera painting in eastern states of India
Murals at Ajanta caves (Jataka tales, Buddhist), 5th-century CE, Maharashtra
Murals at Badami Cave Temples (Hindu), 6th-century CE, Karnataka (secular paintings along with one of the earliest known painting of a Hindu legend about Shiva and Parvati inside a Vaishnava cave)
Murals at Bagh caves (Hallisalasya dance, Buddhist or Hindu), Madhya Pradesh
Murals at Ellora caves (Flying vidyadharas, Jain), Maharashtra
Frescoes at Sittanavasal cave (Nature scenes likely representing places of Tirthankara sermons, Jain), Tamil Nadu
Frescoes at Thirunadhikkara cave temple (Flowers and a woman, likely a scene of puja offering to Ganesha, another of Vishnu, Hindu), Travancore region, Kerala-Tamil Nadu
Paintings at the Brihadisvara temple (Dancer, Hindu), Tamil Nadu
Manuscript paintings (numerous states such as Gujarat, Kashmir, Kerala, Odisha, Assam; also Nepal, Tibet; Buddhist, Jain, Hindu
Vijayanagara temples (Hindu), Karnataka
Chidambaram temple (Hindu), Tamil Nadu
Chitrachavadi (Hindu, a choultry–mandapa near Madurai with Ramayana frescoes)
Pahari paintings (Hindu), Himachal Pradesh and nearby regions
Rajput paintings (Hindu), Rajasthan
Deccan paintings (Hindu, Jain)
Kerala paintings (Hindu)
Telangana paintings (Hindu)
Mughal paintings (Indo-Islamic)
CONTEMPORARY CULTURE
Kalamkari (Hindu)
Pattas (Jain, Hindu)
WIKIPEDIA
How Edie stays so thin.
The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.
Read more about the project here:
tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html
Purchase prints here:
Our revolution was conceived in 1860's when our name, homosexual (same-sex) was coined in a German argument to decriminalize same sex relations. The word Homosexualität was coined by the German-Hungarian Károly Mária Kertbeny (born Karl Maria Benkert; 1824–82). It is a compound of Greek homo, same, and Medieval Latin sexualis, sexual. It occurs first in a letter to Karl Heinrich Ulrichs dated 6 May 1868, and then in two pamphlets published in 1869 in Leipzig arguing for reform of Paragraph 143 of the Prussian Penal Code penalizing sexual relations between men (Paragraph 143 des Preussichen Strafgesetzbuches vom 14.4.1851 und seine Aufrechterhaltung als Paragraph 152 im Entwurf eines Strafgesetzbuches für den Norddeutschen Bund [Paragraph 143 of the Prussian Penal Code and its Maintenance as Paragraph 152 of the Draft of a Penal Code for the North German Confederation].*
There follow a long pregnancy with gestation occurring mostly in Germany until the rise of Hitler, after which development moved to the English speaking world.
After growing labor pains in the 1950’s and early 1960's the water broke on Christopher Street in June 1969 but the birth was a few days later during July with the first meeting of the Gay Liberation Front. Oh, and where did we get that name? So many of the founders were college students involved in the anti-war movement that the name was adapted from the National Liberation Front in Vietnam - the Viet Cong.
This upfront and in your face political organization by their actions and example engendered hundreds more like it in cities and college towns across the nation. Many of which adopted the name GLF and then, the programs pioneered by both the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activist Alliance. Most took direct action; all had consciousness raising activities to liberate individuals from internalized oppression, and public education activities. All of which lead to an advancement in our freedom.
Without the Gay Liberation Front the GAA and their descendants the Stonewall Uprising would not be remembered today any more than the uprisings of leftists in 1848. In 1968 there were almost 130 major riots in the USA.
Stonewall would have been just another riot in a decade filled with riot, shootings, bombing and the burning of whole neighborhoods.
Although the generation that brought Gay Liberation into being has been replaced by a generation concerned with conceptualization of sex rolls rather than sexuality or perhaps because we are being left behind I offer to the early liberalizationists this tribute taken from a Jean Renoir film, "They can not wipe out what we have given to the World. Before we arrived people just stared at liberty like the lover forbidden to approach his beloved. Now thanks to us the lover embraces his beloved."
Happy Birthday G.L.F.!
Before we were born Whitman described the Spirit that awoke in us and moved us...
AS I lay with my head in your lap camerado,
The confession I made I resume, what I said to you and the open
air I resume,
I know I am restless and make others so,
I know my words are weapons full of danger, full of death,
For I confront peace, security, and all the settled laws, to unsettle
them,
I am more resolute because all have denied me than I could ever
have been had all accepted me,
I heed not and have never heeded either experience, cautions,
majorities, nor ridicule,
And the threat of what is call'd hell is little or nothing to me,
And the lure of what is call'd heaven is little or nothing to me;
Dear camerado! I confess I have urged you onward with me, and
still urge you, without the least idea what is our destination,
Or whether we shall be victorious, or utterly quell'd and defeated.
‘Sing if you’re glad to be Gay’
*GVGK Tang May 6, 2018 - Wikkimedia Commons.
PERIODICO DE AYER www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/0/BNSb013wcfU
LOS ENTIERROS www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/1/zu3sPt8zEpw
DE TODAS MANERAS ROSAS www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/2/n1xG6hncg4U
LAS CARAS LINDAS www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/3/BZ3w684Sfmg
PLANTACION ADENTRO www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/4/b-Ap266F7g8
MAXIMO CHAMORO www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/5/sKCx-DmE7Zk
LAMENTO DE CONCEPCION www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/6/AXOAi4cWNtE
LA CURA www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/7/iHnsIDlHECg
EVELIO Y LA RUMBA www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/8/NWJCq_S7NQ0
IBABAILA www.youtube.com/user/RANiEL1963#p/u/9/Bn48g_0mK5Q
GUAKIA INC www.guakia.org/index.html
Based in Hartford, Connecticut, Guakía, Inc. is the premiere Puerto Rican cultural center in southern New England.
Our mission is "to provide a focal point for the promotion of the cultural identity and heritage of Puerto Ricans in the United States through the advancement of the groups' history, language, music, arts, literature, and other cultural characteristics; and to establish a center that will serve as a clearinghouse for the study, celebration, and exposition of the Puerto Rican/Hispanic culture available to all residents of the city of Hartford and the capital region."
This page is just the beginning of our new website, being built with the assitance of Trinity College's "Smart Neighborhood Plan," a project funded in large measure by grants from the W.K. Kellogg Foundation. Additional funding for Guakia's website has been received from the Hartford Foundation for Public Giving.
We hope that you will soon be able to learn more about our organizations' history by exploring the pages of this site as they become available. The site will include detailed information on Guakía's educational and arts programs, its community partnerships, and will also feature photos and video clips of participant children and youth. We also welcome inquiries about how to help support Guakía, Inc. as we seek to expand our children and youth programs.
To provide a focal point for the promotion of the cultural identity and heritage of Hispanics in the United States through the advancement of the groups history, language, music, arts, and literature and to establish a center that will serve as a clearinghouse for the study, celebration and exposition of Hispanic cultureavailable to all residents of Connecticut.
Vision and Goals
To be the premier non-profit Hispanic arts, cultural and humanities organization dedicated to enriching the value of the Hispanic community by promoting, preserving and celebrating its cultural heritage and diversity.
To help our youth develop a strong sense of self, maximize their talents, acquire vision, internalize learning and in turn impact others in a positive way, fostering harmonic diversity in our community. Founded in 1983, Guakía is the most prominent arts and cultural organization in Hartfords Hispanic community. The word, guakia, means we in Taino, the language of the original inhabitants of the Caribbean (pre-Columbus). The word guakia signifies the unity of the Hispanic community no matter where individuals may be living. Volunteer parents who felt that their children had lost contact with the traditions of their culture and heritage founded Guakía. They felt their children needed to connect with their heritage in order to develop a sense of pride, community and self-esteem. Originally, Guakía was focused on the culture of Puerto Rico, however in recent years, as the community has become more diverse and the needs have shifted, Guakías mission has been broadened to include all Hispanic cultures. Using a curriculum based on both Puerto Rican and Latin American music, dance, and art forms, Guakía provides a wide array of visual and performing arts initiatives such as folkloric dance, painting, ceramics, traditional Hispanic music, and art classes. The early sacrifices of parents, volunteers, and teachers gave Guakía strong roots in the Puerto Rican culture. These roots have now expanded and sprouted like a beautiful tree with many branches and leaves to include all Hispanic cultures.
CONTACT: K. Alane Golden
Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit
503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org
The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.
PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.
For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.
In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:
“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.
NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.
“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?
"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"
Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.
The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.
12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.
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