friday i got off work, sweat blanched from my ride and headed straight to the fridge for a beer. i plopped down in front of my computer to read emails that will take me inappropriately long to respond to and see what all of you guys are up to.one block away from me is a road well traveled at a curve that meets at four corners that causes blind spots. like once before i heard an odd noise. i can't remember if i'd heard voices first or or banging crashing. i assume the latter as a result of logical mind, but still i wonder. because of the strangeness and increasing intensity of the screams that went along with certain subsequent noises, screams that included :

"oh god no"

"oh no please, no"

"it was an accident"

"help someone, please, no"

and lots of strange noises and strange silence it's beside me to describe..., because of that i fought my inner voice, that said, don't get involved, the last accident you saw at that corner was a drunken fender bender.

at this point a thousand possibilities ran on in my head such as,

'someone hit a dog or else they'd be freakin out way more, saying names'. then i heard that scream that you know is more personal yet no personal modifiers for the exception of God. no names, no he's, no she's, no cussing..

and then i decided,

someone is hurt. the block away i speak of runs diagnol to a golf course, this four corner coordinate and course creates a strange echo.i thought about my daughter and relieved she's 80 miles north, i thought about my boyfriends kids, who are four blocks away, are they on a bike ride? i panicked and crawled barefoot on my bike and and headed up the block. i see at the stop sign a ginormous black truck, engine running, mexican music blaring. i see neighbors moving in like white blood cells to the intersection. i see a motorcycle lying on its side about 15 feet a way. a black, slick, streamlined, stealth number. all the while the cadence of the aforementioned screaming heightens in intensity. i look across the street at the most movement, a woman rocking back and forth in a chair a nearby neighbor must have brought. two people are holding each of her hand as she weeps and screams and one of them is the manager of a restaurant i worked at for 6 1/2 yrs. the woman is staring panicked at the man lying on the road who's being given cpr by a young resident boy, his belly rising and collapsing. she is looking at him and begging for someone to please help him and she keeps looking north in hopes for better more suited help.i immediately bow my head and join my hands and pray to ganesha, unsure to whom i'm asking things be removed for, unsure if that's what is needed. i'm trying to figure out who everyone is and i assume that she is the one who hit him. i then see a girl in her 20s go over to the truck she rifles through the glove box and seems unphased and unaffected. finally she shuts the music off, as it was inappropriately eerie considering the severity, yet i doubt at times like that, hearing is acute.

a police officer shows up and helps the boy with cpr. they stop and take his helmet off. there is no blood. the ambulance shows up and the gurneys come and clearly the man is pronounced dead. his head was flat, his leg was twisted and broken. i assume the helmet provided things to be intact, but assume a shattering within. i believe he died instantaneously. they traded the gurney for a white blanket and the police walked to the woman who was now moaning "no please no"

my old manager walked over and i asked if she had hit him. she had not. the girl in the white tank top heading to the truck did. at this point i see the truck's headlight crashed. i say, "then who is that?" she said it was his girlfriend and her daughter was nearby, clearly traumatized. they hauled off the girl in the truck after giving her a neck brace and the cops starting showing up like ants getting everyone to leave.

it would seem that no one saw anything.it would seem the girlfriend was several cars behind or ahead of him.

it would seem that life was not linear to me at that moment and i wondered how personalizing moments like that make it so. i rode back home as i was not of help or witness and i internalized what the next few hours and days would be like for all of these people who's lives are completely altered and their perception is ripped from their day to day reality, emotional, psychological, spiritual reality, yet the scenes of the normal every day are all around them.

we wake up, we make coffee, we brush teeth, these mundane tasks and chores and responsibilities are all still set in place, but like a vapor of some strange existence they will wander. there will be absence. i thought of what was the last thing they said to each other, where were they going, where had they come from. i wondered about the girl in the truck and wondered if it were me.i wondered if everyone's role was mine. if i had 'killed' someone. if i had been killed. if i had watched as my love died in front of me. if i was a cop, or the neighbor who lives right there. i thought about the young girl and if it was her dad or her mom's boyfriend. i thought about the girl in the truck and if she felt something now as shock seems to have put her in an unreactive place.

i thought about how personalizing things brings compassion. i thought about how i wanted to go and hold that woman who was screaming when i first saw her and tell her energetically things she couldn't humanly accept and i thought about how i wanted to do that thinking she was the one who had hit him.

i don't know anything more.

Shown here is an image of Case 1 from the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

LEVENT BUDUS INTERVIEWING AND WRITING WITH THE GRAY COLONEL

Translation: Robot Assistant REMMI U09

08/11/2022 7th DAY 7 ART and CULTURE MAGAZINE SPECIAL PUBLICATION

"You've been frightened of the Grays, but it's not the one you're afraid of, it's the one that frightens you." Levent Budus

Here are some of the explanations you can find in this post:

Clergy, Back Side Coding, Extraterrestrial Attack, Worldwide Information System, Commercial Genocide, Commercial Deception, Human Playground, Human Stockpile, Incubation Families, Human Life…

 

INTERVIEW WITH THE GRAY COLONEL

Hello from the country that is a disk planet, with a magnetic bar passing through its center, so it can be moved. From this planet, about which I will not reveal more details, for our Earth, we speak to people on Earth with interviews. The Disk Planet Security Colonel (Male-Gray) has important messages for you, I suggest you consider it. You've been frightened of the Grays until now, but it's not 'frightened' that you should be afraid of, but 'scary!'

 

All of the interviews were conducted with the President (Male-People), the Minister of Health (Female-People) and the Security Colonel (Male-Gray) in the governing office of the planet country. I find it appropriate to publish the sections related to the President and the Minister of Health later. I open only a part of my interview with the colonel to the reader.

 

Let's not forget that the evil people of Earth are currently being judged in another dimension. The provisions they wear of course bind themselves and the people they drag with them, so we publish these articles to support the natural people of nature and increase their attention level.

 

Levent Budus

 

08 NOVEMBER 2022

 

FIRST PART

 

“Your materialistic perception of life, like a child whose candy will be taken from you, is provided by spirituality; You celebrate trivial things as exaggerated experiences because your mental age is not deliberately developed. You fail to understand that you have been subjected to animal training because you are afraid of losing the designer things in your life in general.”

“Selling yourself means you are selling your own kind! You survive by selling people and humanity.”

REPORT

Levent Budus

Dear Colonel, on behalf of Earth Humans and Nature, I thank you for addressing the Earth's Natural People through the Universal Data Comrades. I ask you to explain to us about the real state of knowledge in the world and what is going on in the world, please come:

 

Colonel

The level of knowledge of the world is at the point where we can now describe it as corrupt. Of course, the forces that haunt people are responsible for the corrupt culture; In short, they are the structures that your elites depend on. The selfish lifestyles that you have chosen as the overwhelming majority of the population, namely the religious, racist, exploitation of women's rights, and your economic relations with your right-wing and left-wing political regimes are the source of the corruption policies spreading from the center. You are being dragged into more and more primitiveness. Your civilization, which you have built on the natural plunder of Planet Earth with your technology, which is just a toy for us, with your religions that are the art of blindfolding, your academic fabrications, and your ignorant customs, is very backward and degenerate to the peoples of our planet.

 

You should know that ninety percent of your clergy are not true spiritual people of nature and are Anti-Planet Earth. These are people who cauterize your senses, hypnotize your mind, and apply the magic of evil to dehumanize your humanity with the mask of goodness. It is a herd of blunted or partisan vanguards, most of whom do not even know the meaning of these words that I am talking about, but who take such jobs as civil servants in return for a salary as practitioners. Your people have become voluntary puppets and gatekeepers of religious people whom they have chosen on their own, so you see each other as enemies from border to border, and you feed off a bloody and dirty culture of spirituality. Your materialistic perception of life, like a child whose candy will be taken from you, is provided by spirituality; You celebrate trivial things as exaggerated experiences because your mental age is not deliberately developed. You cannot understand that you have been subjected to animal training because you are afraid of losing the design things in your life in general.

 

Not only in your own social life, but also in your inner world, you were made to develop a sick relationship with nature by being afraid of all species other than humans. The objective state of your connection with nature has been reduced to the level of the Zoo-Park, Pet Shop, where you identify yourself, and the stray dogs and cats actually represent you; your sick selves created them, you see them as your reflection.

You have been transformed into a kind of improved industrial farm animal for the world. Since slavery, camouflaged plans of remaining a slave are always injected into your mind by your masters and their servants, with your participation. The system creates the hierarchy of its servants from here. Of course, your slavery, your being a free-thinking farm animal, is also about using the technology of every age. Your public order is the so-called free slave human model, whose format is full obedience (with code on the back), which uses the technology, tools and weapons of modern times without questioning and can generate enough thoughts to vote (in democracy). Such peoples or human societies, individuals do not fall into the same category as natural people, they differ from natural people in terms of quality.

 

At this stage, we are working on enlightening those who obey evil, the peoples who were herded so that they do not obey the Anti-Earth, we try to erase the back-end codes. The cold-blooded human teams, trained for the science of torture, are specialized in probing the bodies of those who are not their own and ripping them through holes in order to get the information in their minds! They are spreading that we are abducting people by changing the direction of their torture, these are lies. They kidnap, brainwash and format and recruit people themselves.

 

Intervention in the world with weapons is not the solution, your problem is informational. Therefore, despite all your demons, we do not participate in your world evil, which is a total perverse except for natural human righteousness, and we do not destroy your barbarian order with weapons. If we wanted to, we would finish your work immediately, but the right way is not barbarism, you must learn the truth, but we protect the natural people of us from your perversion. Only those who learn have a chance to escape from the ignorant and barbaric idea-belief vortex that has invaded the Earth! There is currently no self-defense situation for the peoples (Humans, Grays and others…) on this planet (Disc Planet), if you have an Extraterrestrial attempt here then we can intervene with weapons.

 

Levent Budus

Under what conditions could an Extraterrestrial attempt to cause self-defense occur?

 

Colonel

We do not interfere with the world without knowledge, but we do not leave what is ours in the hands of evil, we protect it and they protect each other as necessary. We still see degraded people as human beings in one way or another, because although they have lost their naturalness, they have human roots, they belong to the Earth. There is a divided humanity on Earth, the only survivors are those who survived the commercial genocides. Opportunists who hold the fields, in other words, who hold monetary and political power, are genocidal nature plunderers who always chase booty. We know which tribe is what. If people from this ideology develop a ship in order to trade, and if that ship succeeds in crossing the earthly border and reaches here, we will immediately shoot the ship they came in, together with its contents! We can read thoughts, hidden intentions. Currently you are not able to get out of the Earth Boundary but you are getting support from another planet, this is a bad (country) planet! They go up and down the earth and need the actions of humans for their perpetual survival; they are preparing and using you (including your rulers) for themselves.

 

We will not attempt an armed attack against the world for the right of free life of the people who have not lost their naturalness in the world, the nature in captivity, but they can. When Earth's Matter Expiration is reached, your Savior will come to punish the guilty, and your Savior will take from Earth those worthy of salvation. Until the Matter in the World is out of date, we act with the victims natural beings of the world - including humans - with our ambassadors, without being institutionalized according to you. Some of them already produce services directly here (on Disk Planet). You have had the opportunity to examine it on the spot, you know the details and the processes, and you share them with Universal Data Comrades when necessary.

 

We have to support brotherly people who produce by holding on to free natural life. Why are we not institutional because it is the order established by the barbarians, institutional structure and hierarchical dictatorship! It does not belong to World Nature and Divine Wisdom, we have nothing to do with such a design structure.

 

As I said, we know very well the methods of using the substance by the regime guards and defenders in the world because they imported it from outside the world. Their exporters have deceived them, which is why they adhere strictly to the method of deceiving the local peoples of the Earth with trade, your elites and they treat people like Extraterrestrial ambassadors/delegates to nature because this is due to their import (marketer) training!

We support surviving natural people and those who are not collaborating with the Extraterrestrial Commercial Culture while preserving the Naturally True Knowledge. Anyone who loves the world must support naturally occurring channels of knowledge within the Earth's Natural People, such as the Universal Data Comrades. It should be understood that because of such informational structures the Earth Opponents will never be able to take over the Earth completely, but when the last right person puts his body to the ground, then the own unchanging reality of the people holding hands on Earth with the Earth Opponents will emerge in their own being. They will no longer see themselves as humans in the mirror, but as animals (monsters) they have become. This is a work of wisdom, its temporal data and numbers are clear.

 

Think of your religions and nationalities that have gone out of fashion over thousands of years; you are not advancing from 'animal to man' as they make you believe, you are advancing from man to beast (beast)! Within the scope of the newly created services, you are transformed into an animal that is even more advanced biologically and technologically. By you I mean the impoverished native-native and guinea pigs, not your sovereigns. They are advancing to become Anti-Earth from human to human by developing human dimensions according to their will towards the goals they have set. The reason is the ideal of imitating and becoming one of the creatures of the planet they support.

 

Your natural eyes need to be well connected for their order to work. While what you see with your eyes goes to your brain, the natural data you see in an organic processor set up by them (agents) changes and reflects on your brain by deviating from reality. This is how bad thought that is thought to be good is formed. After all, it is part of their sustainable plan to be deceived as if you are ignorant but share knowledge.

 

Your cities and technological applications are all managed as laboratories. It's a kind of human developer-educational playground. At this point, people are only material assets in the balance sheet of their rulers such as sheep, goats, horses and elephants; It is an item of holistic living stock inventory. The data in this inventory covers dimensions of what they do with living things (humans). According to this inventory, it is a reality that you will be killed by the administration (genocide) in some institutional situations.

 

Your system advocates always want war for looting, pillage, and genocide because their ancestors and parents alike come from the Foreign Imported training they received in this direction. Do not consider the wars designed as merely militaristic; what really matters is the secret war against the ego of individuals. It depends on the doctrine in the animalization track that it is applied to the memories with scientific methods through the academy. Their human stock must also be protected, so fashion is developed as a defense system tactic for the civilized appearance of the stock. By forgetting their natural humanity, people are brought into the system with the commands issued from the center regarding their artificial animal humanity and many other directions, so that the brutality that plunders the Earth, the real natural humanity is internalized with manners in directly coded human bodies.

 

Athletic predators to fight and protect, sexist breeders to breed and breed, dwarfs for errands, and ideal sex (sexist) players as objects of entertainment in leisure, stress relief; the construction of a dream world in real time with artistic human and space creation… Beings with all their elements are designed and embodied as class, industrial human-animals and their brains are managed by experts in order to be used in natural and private areas.

Levent Budus

According to this management model, what is the real structure of family culture in the world?

 

Colonel

It is to live faithful to the authority in incurable contradictions. As human beings, what do you do or make your mothers, fathers and children do to remain loyal to authority from generation to generation? And you see the Destiny Card as a collateral deed to all your evil. In this sense, the human self is not like a sheep, it is an entity that is well coded in the direction of allegiance to its sovereign, and whose mind is relatively free due to democracy. It can be trained and managed, but if it goes out of line while learning, it can find the trajectory of obedience belonging to the center again by punishing itself and each other, so it is the entity that is included again despite everything, both as an individual and as a family.

 

Natural naturalist people-families still living on earth, like the local free people-families of the Earth, who deserve to come together in this country (Disc Planet) by developing naturally in nature and developing natural ethics (naturalistic belief, culture-art and science) belong to the social tracks we have described. separate from coded entities (humans and families).

 

Due to their code, they despise natural people and families, and consider them poor: they cannot be people without a car without a symbol, but they can turn their own lives 180 degrees when they receive a command from the system.

 

Of course, the ideology of the genocidal, religious, materialist center they are affiliated with establishes this barbarian (animal-monster) family model in the form of imitation, copy and practice. His mindset is completely controlled by his superiors as the robotic mind. For example, the feeling of compassion (pity) that emerges with the ache of conscience, perhaps the flowing tears are transformed into another understanding by playing with the volume of the understanding in the person. Briefly, the event that needs to be comprehended is forgotten with an automatic understanding level, or it is replaced with understanding in favor of the centre. The important thing here is not wealth, poverty or money is gold, cars are not planes, the important thing is that these people have interchangeable memories! This change is not natural development or transformation, it is corporate management designed by certain superiors.

 

By the way, let's give the following warning to captive people and families: do not consider yourself superior to those who you see as bad, destitute, ignorant, contemptible, pathetic and poor. Neither the religion you are made to believe in nor the race you are made to believe is real, you are only deceived by the dominant species code that you are superior and that you have a superior religion, race, ideology. With your revealed energy (which is to serve your masters well) you draw natural people into the monolithic social darkness that you produce within your own body, so you are also responsible for the spilled blood of the poor, that is, the innocent, you are a partner in Extraterrestrial murder with your superiors. However, you are guilty of every bad bite that the poor have to eat, and every poisonous breath they breathe, the dirty water they drink. At this point, try to understand this: selling yourself means you are selling your own species! You survive by selling people and humanity. Of course, as a result, you will live in the place you deserve as traitors, you are already living!

 

In this sense, natural people are the natural knowledgeable man and the natural family, human-to-human with their spiritual guides; is one big family: the real earth family. You (code families) are a tech-savvy herd of human beings with merit, left ignorant by dark spiritual guides who think they are knowledgeable.

 

These families, which serve the same purpose but are brought together as opposing wheels consisting of different religions and ideologies, are the body and gears of the mechanism designed as the DESTROYERS OF THE NATURAL WORLD. In the interior, that is, in the more subtle scheme of world destruction, they are incubators of destruction and plunder. This informational, energetic, organic and spiritual structure rotates the other wheels to which they are connected and the main wheel as a whole. This path is as follows according to the progress of the wheel… (Publisher's Note: We cannot explain it due to current laws and customs.)

 

Another meaning of incubation family processes is the nature guides who, knowing the true language of nature, heal people when necessary, prevent people from breaking away from nature-nature, and develop the necessary tools in the natural system by producing science for this purpose, treating both mental/spiritual and organic wounds, born in incubation families of the system, that the growing beings destroy.

The brood families (GM families: nuclear family/inseminated-coded) are also on a mission to identify the True Sages of the Earth and act as informants on behalf of their superiors to hunt for information in their hands and minds. Codified individuals in incubation families form a basic structure and take an active role in the sterilization of imported ideology.

 

They are drawn into the system by their own will by selling their bodies and souls for a few items, gold, money, salary, special means, house, land and appearance. From this moment on, they are in the game and voluntarily follow orders. Orders are more or less the fulfillment of the things I just mentioned. Now there is a game, not a life, so the track and the reward system are active. More advanced rewards and track levels are also prepared for the growth and promotion of brood families consisting of coded beings, these processes are reflected in social reality in the form of class jumping. In certain respects, humans clamber up into some sort of beast and beast. When the terrestrial game is over, these people are no longer human and have evolved too artificially to live where pure human souls live. As a result, real Chiefs, who also use their human superiors, will use their existential lives forever. What we understand here is that the salt has lost its saltiness!

 

Levent Budus

Could you explain the insemination, coded nuclear family establishment processes a little more?

 

Colonel

They place their own seeds inside the women they choose before the nuptials. It is ensured that the husband knows the child as his own, so that such children are brought into the world and raised as if they were his own. When they are mature enough, they move away from the non-paternal family for real business and join their secret real family. The hindering father is killed if necessary, and even grandmothers and grandfathers are killed. These murders are not committed with weapons, but by suggestion, magic and poisoning methods; often recorded as natural death.

 

A woman can also be a carrier unknowingly, because reproductive organs are purchased so that in reality the man and his side become the owner of the woman, and the woman is used in reproductive and other service works. These processes are secular as well as religious. Women are not developed mentally, but they are given a little space to think they are awake, to think they are knowledgeable. As a result, as I tried to explain, the processes in these brood families have dark and hidden sides.

 

Today, generally, after the first child that the system directly acquires, men and women give birth to their own children. This means that the difference is usually hidden so that the first child is also left in the family, but the seed is of course different from the others, it is followed. That child belongs directly to the system, while the others are ludicrous. If only the uterus or testicles are sealed, no more children will be born after the first child inseminated by the system. Of course, there is a reason for this process, the energy of this family will be used for another work. In some cases, the origin of the only child is tied in the family, the parents really believe that the child is their own child.

 

Incubation families have very detailed workings, so often the role that natural righteous sages play in the annihilation processes so that the victim people do not understand the workings but also do not grasp them. In summary, seeds known to the mother but unknown to the man are placed in the wombs of women in brood families, and these children are used from birth to death. Special tasks are assigned to children at every stage of their lives, from infancy to old age, they live it as real life.

 

In all incubation family transactions, it is unimportant who the children, mothers, and fathers are. It is important to be told and know who they are rather than who they are. This process replaces the truth so that they can serve without suspecting it. The established incubation family model also forms the basis of making the lies true and defrauding people. Knowing that they are in the system, that they are fed by the system, as if it were politically and religiously natural, the process is on track and individuals continue to evolve by experiencing the data on the track.

These brood families are directly responsible for the blood of people in natural evolution who live the truth. By raising their successors, these families are always multiplying, narrowing the space of their natural neighbors and constantly destroying them, thus they carry out natural genocide. Just as they slander and kill their non-system natural human neighbor who lives alone, they also initiate actions that will destroy such a family without hesitation. The basis of their slander is of course religious and ideological.

 

Your science is full of lies, and your multitude of sectarian religions are correspondingly quackery fiction. We protect natural families of natural faith founded by genuine people of all ages; they know very well what to worship and what not to worship, and they successfully resist the animalization-monstrous processes that corrupt natural humans with the power they draw from their true selves. We also communicate with these genuine people, we support natural families. Until your global order explodes and you leave the last natural human body on the ground, we will continue to support the People of the Natural World, who live by the Natural Righteous Ancestors (Female-Male).

 

END OF CHAPTER ONE

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Barbara Gittings (left), an early lesbian rights activist, takes part in a panel discussion before a 50-member audience composed mostly of Catholic clergy November 12, 1970 at Catholic University.

 

Seated are Gittings, Lilli Vincens, a woman identified only as Misty, and Mo Starr.

 

Gittings and long-time gay activist Franklin Kameny were the gay “luminaries” invited to the conference on theology and homosexuality.

 

The five-day conference was interrupted that day by about 35 members of the Gay Liberation Front took who over the auditorium stage at McMahon Hall auditorium.

 

The protesters began their disruption about 2:00 in the afternoon as conference chair Dr. John R. Cavanagh began reading a treatise on homosexuality as a cause of marital discord.

 

While his companions hugged, held hands and occasionally kissed, a spokesperson produced a pink sheet and began reading from it.

 

“As members of the Gay Liberation Front, we deny your right to conduct this seminar.”

 

“It is precisely such institutions as the Catholic church and psychiatry which have created and perpetuated the immorality, myths and stereotypes of homosexuality which we as homosexuals have internalized and from which we now intend to liberate ourselves.”

 

“Only we as homosexuals can determine from our own experiences what our identity will be.”

 

The group then left the stage, paraded their pink flag around the room and regrouped outside where they left in a car caravan.

 

Dr. Cavanagh said afterward, “This conference isn’t supposed to be a forum to promote homosexuality. Our purpose here is to instruct these people in religious instittuions who don’t know anything about homosexuality. These things don’t prove anything to me but bad manners.”

 

Kameny, president of the Mattachine Society—an early gay rights group, smiled and told reporters, “I’m the token homosexual of the conference.”

 

The conference was sponsored by the School of Sacred Theology at Catholic University and the program included topics such as the clinical and psychological aspects of homosexuality, its relationship to theology and homosexuals in marriage.

 

Gittings and Kemeny were early gay rights advocates establishing groups in the 1950s and picketing the White House, Pentagon and the Civil Service in 1965—the first known organized public protests by gay rights advocates.

 

Gittings was edtor of The Ladder, an early lesbian magazine in the 1960s and was headed the American Library Association’s Gay Task Force.

 

Kameny waged a 30 year campaign to overturn D.C.’s sodomy laws and, along with Gittings, was successful in getting the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from the list of mental diseases in 1973.

 

Kameny remarked tongue-in-cheek that December 15, 1973 was the day "we were cured en masse by the psychiatrists..”

 

He ran for office a number o times and remained an activist the rest of his life.

 

Kamendy died in 2011. Gittings died in 2007.

 

The Gay Liberation Front

 

In D.C. at least two communal collectives existed in the Dupont Circle area. They were multi-racial and initially included members of both sexes, but as time passed the women moved on to form their own groups like the Furies.

 

Locally the GLF staged the Nov. 28, 1970 demonstration at the Zephyr Bar on upper Wisconsin Avenue after four GLF members were refused service.

 

Several dozen GLF members and supporters came to the restaurant and staged an impromptu demonstration chanting slogans inside the restaurant. Some minor property damage occurred and twelve GLF demonstrators were arrested, although charges were later dropped.

 

The GLF also was responsible for the Nov. 1970 disruption of a conference on the “psychiatric treatment of homosexuals” at Catholic University.

 

The D.C. GLF also played a role in the Panther’s Revolutionary People’s Constitutional Convention also in Nov. 1970. They wrote an expansive platform proposal on gay and lesbian rights that was adopted by the convention.

 

Press reports indicated the collectives lingered for some time, but disbanded in the mid 1970s.

 

For more information and related images, see flic.kr/s/aHsjCQ69wA

 

Photo by Bill Beall. The image is courtesy of the D.C. Public Library Washington Star Collection © Washington Post.

Shown here is an image of Case 1 from the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

Shown here is an image of Case 1 from the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

CONTACT: K. Alane Golden

Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/NARANCMHAD and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

 

Shown here is an image of Case 1 from the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

A resident of the Regional Addiction Prevention (RAP) treatment facility at 1904 T Street NW named Harry (no last name) poses by the front doors sometime in 1973.

 

Ronald C. Clark, a co-founder of the RAP “pioneered a therapeutic approach to addiction aimed not just at detoxing the body but also the mind,” according to the Washington Post,

 

Clark was a bass player in the Charles Mingus band when addiction derailed his music career. After going through the Synanon treatment facility, he came to Washington, D.C. and never left.

 

The Post wrote upon his death in May 2019, “Many of his clients were African Americans, and he wanted to help them rid themselves of the poisonous effects of racism —the inferiority complexes, the low self-esteem, internalized oppression and self-hatred.”

 

“In a residential treatment setting that could last more than a year, patients studied African and African American history. Jazz musicians, black poets and artists performed and participated in group therapy sessions. Recovering addicts received nutrition counseling, reading lessons and job-skills training.”

 

The vintage Montgomery Spark wrote in 1971:

 

“The center’s approach is radically different from other ‘addict rehabilitation centers’ in the area. RAP operates as a collective, with staff and residents making decisions together.”

 

“RAP’s left-wing analysis of the heroin plague has led to attacks on the organization from reactionary elements who seek to capitalize on an addict’s plight through methadone maintenance or other exploitive methods.”

 

“RAP’s ‘success rate,’ as government authorities call it, has been remarkably higher than other types of treatment. This is probably because RAP’s residents learn that the root of the heroin problem lies in society’s illnesses, and by knowing this, the individual can better realize how to cope with their problems.”

 

Early counselors included radicals like Montgomery County’s John Dillingham that were supporters of the Black Panther Party.

 

RAP initially offered outpatient services before opening a residential facility at 1904 T Street NW in July 1970 and moved into the Willard Street property in 1973 when they were offered the facility for $1 in rent. They later opened other facilities in the District and Maryland.

 

Part of the program for the live-in treatment facility was community service. RAP organized to give out free vegetables and clothes, information on legal aid, welfare rights and where to find medical attention.

 

They worked to clean up the neighborhood around their facilities and ran workshops for the community called “survival teaching.”

 

RAP vigorously opposed the methadone as a drug that produced “Zombies” instead of instilling self-reliance.

 

Connie Clark, a co-director of RAP, said in a 1972 Washington Post interview, “Authorities like it because it cuts down on crime and makes people docile—easy to control. But all the same it addictive and babies born to methadone-taking mothers are addicts and persons on the drug are never free to think for themselves.”

 

RAP struggled financially in its first years of existence, holding benefits throughout the city to keep the facility functioning. Later grants from the city and private-pay residents would help to sustain it.

 

RAP adapted its treatment through the years as one drug epidemic after another swept through the city—heroin, crack, PCP, fentanyl—and everything in between, including alcoholism.

 

Nearly 50 years after opening, RAP describes itself, “RAP's overarching mission is to promote and enhance human health - physically, spiritually, emotionally and socially. Individualized intensive and comprehensive assessment and case management guarantee an all-inclusive care plan.”

 

“RAP, Inc. has served the Washington metropolitan area since 1970. We base our treatment approach on cultural values, respecting and supporting all individuals and their communities and recognizing that a client’s culture is an inseparable part of his or her self-image.”

 

“Teaching from the work of giants such as Malcom X, Frederick Douglass, and Maya Angelou who are models of recovery and overcoming abuse, we motivate clients to embrace the possibilities for their own sobriety.”

 

For more information and related images, see flic.kr/s/aHsmJB3Fvr

 

Photo by Reading/Simpson

 

I've been off flickr for a long while,I apologize. Problem is that i've been busy with school and then i went to Europe for a month; I had such a blast! First place i went to was Berlin, and to be honest, i was not having such a good time due to problems with both my sister and mother, still, i was not going to stay at the hotel, so with a lot of effort i tried to do my best and visit Berlin with them. I was thinking about everything while i was walking through the city until i got to Potsdamerplatz, where there were leftovers of the Berlin wall. I was looking at them and this little phrase got my attention; stop trying to please the world. You can't please everyone, there's always going to be someone who argues, so just try to be happy with whatever makes you happy and FUCK EVERYONE'S OPINIONS.

On September 6, the snow fell, families moved, and the wind whipped our faces raw. Huddling close to a ger stove, warming my fingers around a warm bowl of salty milk tea, with a spoonful of creamy butter floating and melting on top, the truth of this sentence struck me:

 

"Nomads do not live to migrate – they migrate to live"

P.C. Salzman, from Pastoralists – Equality, Hierarchy and the State

 

It's not that I didn't know this before, but when you can't feel your toes or your fingers or your ears, and groups of horses 25 meters away are hardly visible through the blizzard, the romantic aura surrounding nomadism fades... I guess you could say I internalized its meaning.

 

Ovorkhangai aimag, September 2006

  

Worth looking at large

CONTACT: K. Alane Golden

Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

 

CONTACT: K. Alane Golden

Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/NARANCMHAD and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

 

Shown here is an image of Case 1 from the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

August 20, 2009

Brazilian, but With a Different Beat

By LARRY ROHTER

 

In the world of Brazilian music Otto occupies a place as unusual and unlikely as his name. For more than a decade he has been thought of as the guy who combines the textures of electronica with the traditional African-derived rhythms he first heard growing up in a small town in the interior — a kind of Moby from the backlands.

 

But as Otto prepares for the release of a new CD, his fourth, and the show he is scheduled to perform Friday night as part of Lincoln Center’s Out of Doors series, chill-out, drum ’n’ bass and lounge music seem to be far from his mind. Otto, known on his passport as Otto Maximiliano Pereira de Cordeiro Ferreira, hasn’t exactly renounced his recent past. Yet he makes it clear that he is now seeking a more organic sound.

 

“I started in electronica because it was easier, something you could do quickly and cheaply, and that made it the ideal path” for a solo artist just beginning his career, he said in an interview at a Manhattan hotel. “I mean, two-thirds of global electronica was already Brazilian music anyway, so I always felt I could decode that and transform it into something else.”

 

Transformation continues to be Otto’s watchword. But as he has matured and traveled and read and been exposed to new influences, he has responded by casting his net wider and wider, so that electronica is now only one of numerous ingredients in his wide-ranging music.

 

“To me Otto is the personification of synthesis, with an ability to swallow a thousand different things and create something new,” said Ricardo Pessanha, co-author of “The Brazilian Sound: Samba, Bossa Nova and the Popular Music of Brazil” (Temple University Press, 2009). “He’s not a great singer and is never going to be a huge commercial success, because his commitment is not to what is popular or what sells. He’s the hillbilly who clears pathways and unlocks closed doors, chopping his way through the jungle and opening frontiers so that others can follow.”

 

That eclecticism began with Otto’s own background and upbringing. Born in 1968, he recalls hearing fife-and-drum bands on the street as a child, remembers the rhythms he tried to pound out as he listened to his parents’ records of samba and Brazilian country music, and marvels at how he was energized by punk and its “do it yourself” credo.

 

“I’m completely a mixture, of nationalities and ethnicities,” he said. “I’m Dutch and Portuguese combined with Indian and mulatto, precisely the blend that made my country the incredible, inventive place it is.”

 

At the age of 21, though, Otto headed for Paris, trying to woo a girlfriend. He was a busker there for a time but learned French and ended up playing percussion in the band of Raul de Souza, the Brazilian trombonist probably best known in the United States for his work with Sonny Rollins, Cal Tjader and George Duke.

 

Returning to his home state of Pernambuco in northeast Brazil, Otto quickly became a part of the mangue bit movement, which fused home-grown rhythms like the maracatu, frevo and ciranda with the latest in imported computer and studio technology. He played percussion in both Nação Zumbi and Mundo Livre S/A, the movement’s two most important bands, before releasing “Samba Pra Burro,” his first solo disc, in 1998. “Samba Pra Burro” was voted record of the year in many Brazilian polls, and also became an international hit, with several tracks being praised by bands like Oasis and emerging as favorites on the dance floor and fashion runways.

 

“Bob,” a moody, ambient piece with hints of bossa nova and a Nação Zumbi sample, written and performed by Otto and Bebel Gilberto in two versions that open and close the CD, drew the most attention and seemed to be the blueprint for a whole new approach to Brazilian pop.

 

Two more CDs, whose titles Otto has tattooed on his arms, the groove-heavy “Condom Black” and the more pop-oriented “Sem Gravidade,” followed quickly, and found Otto expanding his palette: to rap on “Cuba,” rock on “Pelo Engarrafamento” and romantic pop balladry on “Por Que.” Together the discs comprise what he calls “a real trilogy, a phase or cycle, one that had a beginning and an end and had to give way to a new sonority with more melody.”

 

In person, trying to explain his music and life, Otto is restless, with energy to burn. Curly-haired, burly and amiable, he fidgets and squirms as he talks, and his thoughts shift rapidly from one subject to another, an exercise in free association that helps explain both the fecundity of his imagination and the critical success he has enjoyed.

 

“Otto is the artist who never stops, like Tom Zé or my father,” Ms. Gilberto, a close friend, said, referring to one of the leaders of the Tropicalist movement and João Gilberto, a pioneer of the bossa nova, both of them northeasterners who have influenced Otto. “He’s always creating, thinking, inventing, with ideas gushing out of him continuously. Whether he’s playing an instrument or not, he’s always revving at high speed.”

 

Though it has been five years since the release of Otto’s last CD, he has hardly been idle. He has become a good friend, for example, of the Turkish-Swedish saxophonist Ilhan Ersahin, leader of the New York trip-hop collective Wax Poetic, whose past collaborators include Norah Jones.

 

Otto toured for a while as one of two singers in Wax Poetic, performing alongside a Turkish female vocalist, and has also written songs with Mr. Ersahin and spent time with him in Istanbul.

 

“Otto is all about making world music in the real sense,” Mr. Ersahin said, “not just putting an ethnic flute over a track, but taking all the elements and internalizing them and creating a new sound. In order to do that, you have to live with it for a while, meet people and play with drummers from different places, musicians who have been around the block, and that’s what Otto has been dedicating himself to.”

 

Recently Otto has also been spending time in New York, hanging out at the Nublu club in the East Village. There, he said, he has been stimulated by his exposure to American musicians with roots in avant-garde jazz, like the composer and conductor Butch Morris and the drummer Kenny Wollesen.

 

Otto’s new CD, which is to be released by Nublu in the United States on Sept. 1 and shortly thereafter in Brazil, reflects all those changes. It is called “Certa Manhã Acordei de Sonhos Intranqüilos,” or “One Morning I Awoke From Uneasy Dreams,” which happens to be a paraphrase of the opening sentence of the Franz Kafka novella “Metamorphosis.”

 

The CD begins and ends with densely orchestrated string arrangements, perhaps an indication of Mr. Morris’s influence. It also features reflective lyrics, some crunchy rock-style guitar solos, saxophone for the first time and vocals from Julieta Venegas, the Mexican pop singer, on two tracks.

 

“This record is about having choices and following the path you think is cool,” Otto said. “I’m 41 now and this is surely my most mature work, with a melancholy that mirrors my view of the state of the world. But my music remains receptive to all things. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned, it’s that music is obliged to be open.”

 

Otto will perform at Lincoln Center’s Out of Doors series on Friday at Damrosch Park Bandshell, 62nd Street and Columbus Avenue, lincolncenter.org

 

Shown here is an image of Case 1 from the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

CONTACT: K. Alane Golden

Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/NARANCMHAD and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

 

The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.

 

Read more about the project here:

tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html

 

Purchase prints here:

society6.com/TiffanyGholar

 

Buy the book on Amazon and Etsy.

CONTACT: K. Alane Golden

Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

 

THE TRANSMODERN ALCHEMIST hacks the undifferentiated potential, exploring the theoretical usefulness of Dynamics for modeling processes in the alchemical art. Dynamics is an organic model, an alternative to mechanistic or cyber- models of process. It prioritizes life as the root science. Alchemy is a multidisciplinary pursuit focusing on mystic technologies, spagyrics, healing, life sciences, metallurgy, chemistry, dynamics and physics.Transmodern alchemy is a new Renaissance science-art -- a treasury of psychophysical meaning. Alchemists sought the experience of Unus Mundus, the one world united through material, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects. Science illuminates the spiritual quest, and spiritual tech illuminates the deep nature of matter and our nature.Universal Meta-Syn

 

Alchemy is a metanarrative, a way of framing all our experience. Alchemy begins and ends in the quest for eternal life. It is a spiritual technology of rebirth using natural methods that in their effect transcend nature by amplifying that which is immortal within us. It does not exist in nature but must be prepared by Art. Art is a form of manifesting, making and objectifying the world - spiritual physics.

 

Artists and mystics are aware of their own internal space and thus able to enter it, playing the mindbody like a musical instrument. Looking inside, they see the true nature of reality and can express that literally and symbolically. We all possess the creative potential. All creative acts are a marriage of spirit and matter, reaching down into the body as the source of our essential being and becoming."There is a generic process in nature and consciousness which dissolves and regenerates all forms. The essence of this transformative, morphological process is chaotic -- purposeful yet inherently unpredictable holistic repatterning. The Great Work of the art of alchemy is the creation of the Philosopher's Stone, a symbol of wholeness and integration. The liquid form of the Stone, called the Universal Solvent, dissolves all old forms like a rushing stream, and is the self-organizing matrix for the rebirth of new forms. It is thus a metaphor or model for the dynamic process of transformation, ego death and re-creation." -- Iona Miller, ‘Chaos As the Universal Solvent’

 

ABSTRACT: Physicist Wolfgang Pauli and psychologist Carl Jung suggested, “We should now proceed to find a neutral, or unitarian, language in which every concept we use is applicable as well to the unconscious as to matter, in order to overcome this wrong view that the unconscious psyche and matter are two things.”

 

Jung thought both alchemy and physics mirrored the psyche and were central in the process of transformation, the Great Work. Alchemist Fulcanelli (1937) claimed that Great Work involved “…a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call a 'field of force.' The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-a-vis the Universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy.” Today we understand that primal unitive field is holographic in nature and we are embedded within it. Electromagnetic energy and particles arise from the virtual vacuum flux of subspace – the Void, which is the metaphysical root of all form. We are embedded within that field and our existential root is Likewise constantly in local virtual photon fluctuation. The fine vehicle of that interaction has been called the ‘energy body,’ ‘body of light,’ ‘diamond body,’ ‘astral body,’ ‘Merkabah,’ and a variety of cultural variations.

 

The classical magical operation known as The Middle Pillar provides a way of nourishing the energy body by feeding off that virtual light, connecting with Cosmos, our primordial Source or Groundstate for renewal. Alchemy provides a Unitarian language that reconciles the tension of opposites between magic and physics, between psyche and matter. A transmodern view of virtual vacuum physics allows us to employ the language of alchemy to move medieval natural philosophy into the 21st Century.

 

Transmodern Alchemy & Chaos

Alchemical philosophy supports the phenomenological notion that the universe exists primarily as we perceive it through what we know. Therefore, by changing perception, we can essentially change the universe and ourselves. Transmodern scientific imagination confirms this transformative postulate as the basis of matter/consciousness in dynamics, holographic and chaos theories. Trans- is the prefix that guides the vision of reality as virtual and fluctuating process. At the subquantal level, virtual photon flux, “cosmic zero,” or zero-point energy is the literal and metaphysical substrate of manifestation. An ocean of energetic flux boils into and out of existence as virtual vacuum fluctuation. The fiction of substantive ‘reality’ is revealed and nature’s transparent veil is ripped away.Alchemy is a science-art and tradition of participatory wisdom. Medieval alchemy was couched in the archaic language of its time, but we are not limited to that, or to theological, Hermetic, Masonic, Theosophical or New Age jargon. Philosophies and sciences evolve in articulation, theory and practice. New discoveries and statements of meaning inform our practice at all levels. In many cases, alchemy anticipated them. Like the cryptic tomes and dense texts of alchemy, unfamiliar scientific or philosophical theories require thoughtful reflection until they take root in our awareness. Models from many disciplines weave together, amplifying the meaning of alchemical process and patterns. Old experiments can be revisioned in a new light while new dynamical phenomena remain to be discovered. We can even revision the alchemical formula for surviving death.

At the zero-point time is no longer a flow, projection or hope. It accelerates at overwhelming speed, turns back on itself and becomes compressed and plays itself out. Instantaneously, everything takes place before us simultaneously, including retrievals of the past and projections of multiple futures. We have a greater understanding of deep time, earthly cycles and cosmic process than ever before. We communicate at light speed. We talk of supraliminality -- faster than light potentials. Light is our essential nature.Learning each technical or symbolic language is like learning a foreign language, but becomes second-nature once we sense the overall gestalt. It takes contemplation and consideration of implications. We unpack them one metaphor at a time as we descend into finer domains of existence, from particles to the subquantal world of the microcosm. Motivation theory suggests if we adopt a mastery orientation to our subjects, we exhibit all the productive learning behaviors we know will work. Even when challenged, we have the natural ability to learn and to keep at it while understanding grows. Simple concepts, not mathematical details, from dynamics and physics are all that is required for illuminating alchemical practice. Field and Flow Our worldview has evolved to include quantum physics and dynamics in our models of reality. As in the alchemical dictum, "As Above, So Below," a satisfactory theory must explain both cosmogenesis and microphysics. In the 20th Century, Carl Jung described alchemy in terms of depth psychology and the physics of his day, shedding new light on an old science. The Modern Alchemist, (1994) describes Jung’s process of individuation -- the transformation of personality and Self. Searching for the hidden structure of matter, the alchemists discovered that of the psyche. Depth psychology continues to redefine itself beyond postmodern notions as new research emerges in nonunitary consciousness, the fractal nature of archetypes and complexes and new models in microphysics mirroring cosmos and co-creator. The alchemical process is its own solution. Jung's notions of a heroic, striving Self have been transcended with imaginal, nonlinear models of consciousness, archetypes as strange attractors and metanarratives as healing fictions. If new theories in astrophysics, quantum physics and depth psychology supersede the old, can we expect any less from 21st century alchemy itself? The esoteric pursuit for the arcane nature of matter continues.Transmodern alchemy describes the secrets of matter in scientific terms with correlates of the alchemical worldview. The dynamic blueprints of nature as we comprehend them today are unfolded by stripping away Nature's etheric veil, revealing naked awareness. As we deconstruct our old notions, new realities emerge. The Philosopher's Stone is awakened consciousness.Hacking the undifferentiated potential, we can explore the theoretical usefulness of Dynamics for modeling processes in the alchemical art. Dynamics is an organic model, an alternative to mechanistic or cyber- models of process. It prioritizes life as the root science. Alchemy is a multidisciplinary pursuit focusing on mystic technologies, spagyrics, healing, life sciences, metallurgy, chemistry, dynamics and physics.

Transmodern alchemy is a new Renaissance science-art -- a treasury of psychophysical meaning. Alchemists sought the experience of Unus Mundus, the one world united through material, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects. Science illuminates the spiritual quest, and spiritual tech illuminates the deep nature of matter and our nature.Universal Meta-SynAlchemy is a metanarrative, a way of framing all our experience. Alchemy begins and ends in the quest for eternal life. It is a spiritual technology of rebirth using natural methods that in their effect transcend nature by amplifying that which is immortal within us. It does not exist in nature but must be prepared by Art. Art is a form of manifesting, making and objectifying the world - spiritual physics.

 

Artists and mystics are aware of their own internal space and thus able to enter it, playing the mindbody like a musical instrument. Looking inside, they see the true nature of reality and can express that literally and symbolically. We all possess the creative potential. All creative acts are a marriage of spirit and matter, reaching down into the body as the source of our essential being and becoming.Today, we might describe this resonance as accessing biophotonic or free energy that regenerates the mindbody. Healing is an aspect of creativity; nature is within and without us. Resonating with the whole, the Magus does not dominate reality but develops embodied psychophysical equilibrium, clarity, wisdom and compassion. We perform our greatest experiment on ourselves. Creative work originates in the body and is projected out into the world. The projections are then internalized into awareness. The bodymind of the artist is an alchemical vessel containing the creative flux and lux of transformation. We feed on Light.

 

Awareness and consciousness form a continuous alchemical movement. The creative gold is generated and embodied in the alembic of the mindbody. The mindbody is the same substance as the Cosmos and contains and reveals its mysteries. Alchemy reduces all to the first state, the ground state of being - original experience that is timeless, infinite. The classical Void, the quantum vacuum is a carrier of information. The energy body or the field body -- along with the scalars (virtual photons) of our holographic blueprint -- connect us directly with the negentropic potential of the zero-point field. Radiant light literally emerges from this mystic void. Primordial structuring processes are common to both psyche and matter, working in the gap or empty interval between intention and action. Alchemy refines the way the mindbody generates and processes inherent light as medicine. It refines the aspirant's ability for tapping and amplifying Medicine Light. This primordial state is the luminous ground of our being, hidden deep in the heart of things.All other goals are subordinate to this prime directive which includes meditative techniques for continuing consciousness after death. This Philosopher's Stone is the Universal Medicine, the regenerative Elixir of Life. The greatest mystery is Life After Death: we don't die but continue in transcendent form. This is the secret of man and nature.

Paradoxically, when we look into the depths of matter, we look into the depths of ourselves. Scientists and mystics report similar phenomena in their models and phenomenology. Spiritual technologies, the software of sacred penetration and amplification, virtually predicted the fine nature of matter as nothing but a complex illusion. We now understand energy/matter as a hologram. Mystics have also always emphasized the primal nature of Light, and claimed that we are in fact made of light itself. Science has confirmed this in numerous ways. Ambient Vacuum is a Plenum of Transformation Light is an excitation of empty space. "Aether" means ‘shine’ in Greek. Scalar physics tells us the ambient void is omnipresent, yet inherently nonobservable -- it is an omnipresent field of radiant energy potential emanating from every zero-point in the cosmos. But we can observe and infer results of this virtual vacuum fluctuation. Quantum Mechanics demonstrates no discrete particle or solid chunk of anything exists in metric space -- the whole Physical Universe. Everything is made of Light. Only light matters. Nothing arises but standing waves from the seething zero-point field created by cosmic beings like ourselves. How we do so is a mystery to ourselves. But we are getting closer to non-religious descriptions of reality that curiously have profound mystical overtones. The properties of mass, inertia, charge and gravity -- and those who observe them -- are the result of space resonances produced by zero-point scalar waves. At zero-point, waves pass through waves without interference. We come from, are sustained by, and are returning to the radiant light of our mass. All electromagnetic force is mediated by virtual photons.

The void is not devoid. In the absence of "solid" matter, we can take a revolutionary view of today's alchemy as dynamic process using Chaos Theory, and related sciences to inform our search. We are indivisibly wedded to our earthly and cosmic environment through zero point field phenomena and resonance. Could consciousness order the world?

Alchemy's prima materia and 'sensitive initial conditions' of chaos are the same. Initiation recalibrates our "initial conditions" and sets transformational "butterfly effects" in motion. The potential of enfolded time energy is transduced into dynamic spatial energy as cosmic jitter (ZPE, Isotropic Vector Matrix). Zero represents the Cosmic egg, the primordial Androgyne merging positive and negative charge - the Plenum. Zero point creative process manifests cosmos, nature and consciousness from roiling quantum flux.

Biophysics tells us we are brilliantly disguised photonic humans -- Homo Lumen -- if we but realize that awareness. The quantum vacuum is a radiant sea of light, encrypted information waves, a dynamic matrix of energy exchange. Our bioplasmic energy pulsates along with this matrix. Because it is ubiquitous, inside and outside, we are blind to it. It is the groundstate of our being. Transmodernity is the synthesis of modernity and postmodern philosophy, reflected in alchemical notions of transcendence, transformation and transmutation. It transcends the construction and deconstruction of recent historical eras by re-enchanting the post-Millennial world. So what might a chaos-informed Transmodern Alchemy look like? First and foremost our existential state space is in flux. We arise from an infinite ocean of quantum foam. Phenomena no longer correspond with old-paradigm frameworks. Anomalies, the strangest phenomena have the most to teach us.

 

Nonlinear Recursive Process Paradoxically, chaos is the essence of order. That order is inherent in and emerges from chaos. Dynamics has successfully explained many natural phenomena and been heralded as a new scientific paradigm. The quintessence is now found in nonlinear dynamics, the holographic field and the virtual vacuum of absolute space. Only when we comprehend the groundstate of being can we fathom reality. It fundamentally changes and deepens our alchemical and scientific notions about transformations in ourselves, matter, systems, patterns and structure.Psychology and neurology now recognize the psyche and brain as a dynamic dissipative system. Therapeutic techniques lead to reorganization of the individual at a higher level of order. Medicine realizes chaos is essential to health. Biophysics recognizes the primacy of light in life processes. The artworld recognizes the aesthetic appeal, rhythm and beauty of fractals. But the poetic science of alchemy made a workable theoretical and experimental system in which chaos was central centuries ago. Each era views nature from the paradigm of its time. Chaos Theory has been associated with every aspect of human behavior. Alchemy is an irreducible fusion of mysticism, science and art that also happens to be therapeutic or growth-promoting and tantalizingly hints at illumination. The process begins in nigredo, with doubts and lack of conviction but time spent on self-knowledge, experiments and spiritual exercises is amply rewarded. Chaos keeps the process fluid. Alchemy calls chaos the "universal solvent." Virtual Physics describes jitterbugging quantum subspace plasma as a superconducting superfluid.

 

Alchemy is a nonlinear organizational framework, a model to make sense of our experience, and a means of facilitating transformation. The universe without and within is our alchemical laboratory. The fire is kindled and stoked in the ‘magic theatre’ of the mind and the retort vessel of the body. Alchemy plants virtual fractal seeds in the gaps or intervals of consciousness. We are the portal for the fractal seed to unfold its liberating potential. But we must remain open.

 

Cosmic Zero The universe is the cosmic "parent fractal" of the microcosmic scale. Matter and consciousness share deep unity. The outer world we observe through our senses is nothing more than a consistent series of mental images that exists in our mind. Matter itself is an image in the mind, and mental images are the natural phenomena of consciousness. Mining the soul, we disassemble ourselves to reorganize in more refined form, reintegrating at a holistic level.

 

Alchemy calls Chaos the prima and ultima materia. The prima materia is ubiquitous, everywhere all the time. As we practice spiritual and practical alchemy, we come to understand the deep nature of chaos as the source of all transformative energy. In this chaosophical philosophy, all systems emerge from and eventually dissolve back into chaos. Solve et Coagula: Chaos is the essence of self-organization. Chaos Theory allows us to follow the Hermetic Spirit deep into the heart of matter and beyond into the subquantal realm in our quest for Nature's secrets. The undecomposable domain of Chaos is not an emptiness, but a rich, generative source -- a bornless nothingness from which all form

emerges.Consciousness, like creativity, is an emergent phenomenon patterned by strange attractors which govern the complexity of information in dynamic flow. Our consciousness appears co-temporaneously with our embodiment, creating the imaginal flux of representational and nonrepresentational perception - the stream of consciousness. The cosmic trinity of chaos, matter, and attraction appears at the heart of modern chaos theory and alchemy.

 

The Vedas identify all creative intent and substance as a manifestation of primal consciousness -- the basis of all manifestation. In this worldview, there is nothing but primordial consciousness. Complex dynamics is implicated in the energetic translation of "waves of unborn nothingness". Healing is the biological equivalent of creativity. The more complex a system, the more stable and self-correcting it is.

The objective (Sol, Frater) and subjective (Luna, Soror Mystica) are not divorced from one another, anymore than the left and right hemispheres of the brain. They marry in the mystic, in entanglement with Cosmos. Science adapted the artist’s sense that the detail of nature is significant. Like yin and yang, they rely on one another in a dynamic meld that transcends the tension of opposites. Synthesizing and transcending opposites is the theme of alchemy.

 

Truth of the Matter Alchemy, quantum mysticism and the holographic paradigm reveal the secrets of nature's subquantal realm. Metaphors are instructive. They are a Way of leaping the chasm between old and new knowledge, old and new ways of essential being. We can tap the source of creativity, healing and holistic restructuring through imagination and metaphor, including alchemical operations. They can be deeply transformative -- more than mere language. They are a technology for changing our behaviors, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs -- our spirit and soul.

 

Alchemy is a science-art, a tool to describe and mold reality using experimental and meditative techniques. As an art medium, alchemy helps us illustrate nature and our own nature in contemporary terms by creating new paradigms and environments. Matter has lost its central role in physics to dynamics. Alchemy can be informed by this new physics. There is aesthetic pleasure in finding likenesses between things once thought unalike. It gives a sense of richness and understanding. The creative mind looks for unexpected likenesses, through engagement of the whole person. Organic metaphors of quantum physics, field theory, and chaos theory illuminate the alchemical art.

 

The many theories of reality are the post-Millennial version of the alchemical peacock’s tail that heralds the beginnings of integration, the Unus Mundus -- the Grand Unified Theory or Theory of Everything in physics. The search for the Stone is a long rite of initiation, culminating in the cauda pavonis which signals the perfect transmutation. It is a dazzling synthesis of all qualities and elements much like rainbow colors unite as white light. The iridescent tail represents all the colors of light while the "eyes" symbolize all potential universes. The Peacock's Tail is the central part of the alchemical process. The myriad eyes in the tail suggest the highly-chromatic view includes multiple perspectives of imaginal vision. The kaleidoscopic vision is a metaphor for the spiritual rebirth that awakens the Third Eye and consciousness of the deeper subtle and field bodies. The universe informs our awareness and being. Sometimes the universal laws of nature lead us beyond ordinary science. Subjects in isolation don't provide enough to accurately describe our complex world. More disciplines, more tools, better technologies lead to best practice. In theoretics we build up and tear down relentlessly, questioning our own underpinnings, adhering to no stale theory: "Solve et Coagula."Since matter remains a paradox, our Work, comprehending the spirit of matter, means learning more than the Standard Theory of physics. Both orthodox and heterodox theories stimulate our imaginative and spiritual perception. Energy and information fields, not just genetics, drive human psychophysiology. Libido (psychic energy) drives the imagination. When we speak of Mercury, Sulphur and Salt, we mean our spiritual, energetic and physical bodies as well as the elements. Each theory adds another piece to the puzzle of existence and meaning, potentially leading to breakthrough on the bench or in consciousness. Such a brief, conceptual survey of alternate theories in physics cannot do them justice, but it can provide leads for further contemplation and research for the esoteric physics of lab work. We study the nature of being and our own being, the essence of inner reality. Consciousness is a timeless transformative force unfolding in nature. Alchemy, art and physics are complimentary modes of inquiry. Symbolic contemplation and interaction transform the material and immaterial self.

 

BODY OF LIGHT

 

The body of light is a spiritual term for the non-physical body associated with enlightenment. It is known by many names in different spiritual traditions, such as "the resurrection body" and "the glorified body" in Christianity, "the most sacred body" (wujud al-aqdas) and "supracelestial body" (jism asli haqiqi) in Sufism, "the diamond body" in Taoism and Vajrayana, "the light body" or "rainbow body" in Tibetan Buddhism, "the body of bliss" in Kriya Yoga, and "the immortal body" (soma athanaton) in Hermeticism.Enlightenment is not purely psychological; it is psychophysical, including the energy or subtle body. In the course of realizing full human potential, physical changes also occur, most dramatically in the later phases of the enlightenment process. In the final phase, according to various sacred traditions, the body is alchemically changed into light. Enlightenment becomes literally so, through the transubstantiation of flesh, blood, and bone into an immortal body of light. Through a combination of personal effort and divine grace, a person attains a deathless condition through the alchemical transmutation of his or her ordinary fleshly body. This transubstantiated body is called various names in the traditions, such as light body, solar body, diamond body, or resurrection body. (John White) www.wie.org/j21/white.asp

 

The radiant ground is the fundamental source beyond the boundary layer of quantum foam. Our healing task is to somehow realize this radiant image of the body in earth, to ground this body in its essential nature, which is the source of creativity and healing. It is precisely in the world, in life itself, that we experience compassion, wisdom, enlightenment. It is only our persistent rigid delusions to the contrary that prevents us from realizing it every moment.

 

Meditation masters speak of an inner Light that pervades the physical and energy bodies, and now science investigates it as biophotons, and through quantum physics we can watch that matter/energy/information devolve back into the unstructured void from which potential emanates.

 

Mystics have often equated this pervasive Light/Sound with primordial Consciousness and the source of life as well as matter. Quantum bioholography shows the DNA literally produces coherent light, which transduces to sound that directs the formative processes of life. Radiant energy is radiant energy. Whether we look outside into our environment or inside into ourselves we find primordial Light.

 

Biophotons are weak emissions of light radiated from the cells of all living things. The light is too faint to be seen by the naked eye, but biophotons have been detected and verified using photomultiplier tubes. Light is constantly being absorbed and remitted by DNA molecules within each cell's nucleus, creating a dynamic, coherent web of light. This system could be responsible for chemical reactions within the cells, cellular communication throughout the organism, and the overall regulation of the biological system, including embryonic development into a predetermined form.

 

Photonic Body is a biohologram projected by coherent light and sound. We arise from and are sustained by field phenomena, waves of biophotonic light and sound, which form our essential nature through acoustic holography This coherent light transduces itself into radio waves (holographic biophoton field), which carry sound as information that decodes the 4-D form as a material object. We also suspect chromosomes transform their genetic-sign laser radiations into broadband genetic-sign radio waves. The polarizations of chromosome laser photons are connected nonlocally and coherently to polarizations of radio waves. Thus, we have an explicit physical analogue for the traditional mystical apprehension of inner Light and the Audible Life Stream.

 

Sacred Light is generated internally by DMT, the spirit molecule. Meditation evokes pineal DMT release through EM vibrations. Visionary experience with symbolic or religious content gives way to dazzling light of illumination, reported in eastern and western religions.

 

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, it is called "the resurrection body " and "the glorified body." The prophet Isaiah said, "The dead shall live, their bodies shall rise" (Isa. 26:19). St. Paul called it "the celestial body" or "spiritual body " (soma pneumatikon) (I Corinthians 15:40). In Sufism it is called "the most sacred body " (wujud al-aqdas) and "supracelestial body " (jism asli haqiqi). In Taoism, it is called "the diamond body," and those who have attained it are called "the immortals" and "the cloudwalkers." In Tibetan Buddhism it is called "the light body." In Tantrism and some schools of yoga, it is called "the vajra body," "the adamantine body," and "the divine body." In Kriya yoga it is called "the body of bliss." In Vedanta it is called "the superconductive body." In Gnosticism and Neoplatonism, it is called "the radiant body."

 

In the alchemical tradition, the Emerald Tablet calls it "the Glory of the Whole Universe" and "the golden body." The alchemist Paracelsus called it "the astral body." In the Hermetic Corpus, it is called "the immortal body " (soma athanaton). In some mystery schools, it is called "the solar body." In Rosicrucianism, it is called "the diamond body of the temple of God." In ancient Egypt it was called "the luminous body or being" (ankh).

 

In Old Persia it was called "the indwelling divine potential" (fravashi or fravarti). In the Mithraic liturgy it was called "the perfect body " (soma teilion). In the philosophy of Sri Aurobindo, it is called "the divine body," composed of supramental substance. In the philosophy of Teilhard de Chardin, it is called "the ultrahuman."

 

The idea of the “Body of Light” often called the “Rainbow” or “Diamond Body” is the perfection of a vehicle for the exteriorization (projection), and continuation of consciousness beyond material reality. In Qabala, the astral body has access to three levels of consciousness, and then must be shed, or encounter the ‘Second Death” in order to penetrate the Veil, or Paroketh, to the next three levels of the “Thrice Born.”

 

DIAMOND AWARENESS

 

In this dynamic model there are no “things”, just energetic events. Light and sound (acoustic cymatics) modulate all matter. This “holoflux” includes the ultimately flowing nature of what is, and all possible forms. All the objects of our world are three-dimensional images formed of standing and moving waves by electromagnetic and nuclear processes. This is the guiding matrix for self-assembly, and manipulating and organizing physical reality. It is how our DNA creates and projects our psychophysical structure.

 

Our brains mathematically construct ‘concrete’ reality by interpreting frequencies from another dimension. This information realm of meaningful, patterned primary reality transcends time and space. Thus, the brain is an embedded hologram, interpreting a holographic universe. Supernal light emerges from this ground of being, both in the cosmos and our human brains and bodies.

 

All existence consists of embedded holograms within holograms, fractally embedded waves within waves of clear light. Their interrelatedness somehow gives rise to our existence and sensory images. When we embody this intimate wisdom, our bodies become temples of the living spirit.

 

Absolute space is the womb of creation and the physics of virtual photon fluctuation reflects not only Nature, but also our nature. Only now are we learning just how literal that experience of Light is, and the interactive mechanisms it engages in our holistic psychophysical Being

ionamiller.weebly.com/transmodern-alchemist.html

Fatshion February, Day 22. Okay, y’all, we need to talk about this outfit for a minute. I love this top, for reasons which should be self-explanatory. Unfortunately, I rarely (read: never) wear it, because it sits right in the middle of my belly, and means that my FUPA is basically, just, there. I was practising poses in the mirror (as you do), and thought, “Well, if I suck my tummy in enough, it’s not so obvious,” and decided this outfit was worth photographing.

 

It turns out I’m fat, y’all. No tummy-suckage was going to hide the fact that I have fat on my torso. And after looking through all the photos I took, seeing that nary a one managed to hide this, I had a little sad moment. Sad because despite trying really hard to love myself for the last 10 years, there are still parts of my body that I’m unhappy with. Sad because I still have to work really hard to examine what messages I’m internalizing about what’s “flattering.” Sad because I actually think I look really hot in this photo, upon half an hour’s reflection, but I still think I’d change clothes if I had to leave the house.

 

This shit is hard. But putting it on the internet is a step in the right direction for me.

 

Top: TK Maxx

Jeggings: Style369

Shoes: New Look

A thangka, also known as tangka, thanka or tanka (Nepali pronunciation: [ˈt̪ʰaŋka]; Tibetan: ཐང་ཀ་; Nepal Bhasa: पौभा) is a painting on cotton, or silk appliqué, usually depicting a Buddhist deity, scene, or mandala of some sort. The thangka is not a flat creation like an oil painting or acrylic painting but consists of a picture panel which is painted or embroidered over which a textile is mounted and then over which is laid a cover, usually silk. Generally, thangkas last a very long time and retain much of their lustre, but because of their delicate nature, they have to be kept in dry places where moisture won't affect the quality of the silk. It is sometimes called a scroll-painting.

 

These thangka served as important teaching tools depicting the life of the Buddha, various influential lamas and other deities and bodhisattvas. One subject is The Wheel of Life, which is a visual representation of the Abhidharma teachings (Art of Enlightenment).

 

Thangka, when created properly, perform several different functions. Images of deities can be used as teaching tools when depicting the life (or lives) of the Buddha, describing historical events concerning important Lamas, or retelling myths associated with other deities. Devotional images act as the centerpiece during a ritual or ceremony and are often used as mediums through which one can offer prayers or make requests. Overall, and perhaps most importantly, religious art is used as a meditation tool to help bring one further down the path to enlightenment. The Buddhist Vajrayana practitioner uses a thanga image of their yidam, or meditation deity, as a guide, by visualizing “themselves as being that deity, thereby internalizing the Buddha qualities (Lipton, Ragnubs).”

 

Historians note that Chinese painting had a profound influence on Tibetan painting in general. Starting from the 14th and 15th century, Tibetan painting had incorporated many elements from the Chinese, and during the 18th century, Chinese painting had a deep and far-stretched impact on Tibetan visual art. According to Giuseppe Tucci, by the time of the Qing Dynasty, "a new Tibetan art was then developed, which in a certain sense was a provincial echo of the Chinese 18th century's smooth ornate preciosity."

 

HISTORY

Thangka is a Nepalese art form exported to Tibet after Princess Bhrikuti of Nepal, daughter of King Lichchavi, married Songtsän Gampo, the ruler of Tibet imported the images of Aryawalokirteshwar and other Nepalese deities to Tibet. History of thangka Paintings in Nepal began in the 11th century A.D. when Buddhists and Hindus began to make illustration of the deities and natural scenes. Historically, Tibetan and Chinese influence in Nepalese paintings is quite evident in Paubhas (Thangkas). Paubhas are of two types, the Palas which are illustrative paintings of the deities and the Mandala, which are mystic diagrams paintings of complex test prescribed patterns of circles an square each having specific significance. It was through Nepal that Mahayana Buddhism was introduced into Tibet during reign of Angshuvarma in the seventh century A.D. There was therefore a great demand for religious icons and Buddhist manuscripts for newly built monasteries throughout Tibet. A number of Buddhist manuscripts, including Prajnaparamita, were copied in Kathmandu Valley for these monasteries. Astasahas rika Prajnaparamita for example, was copied in Patan in the year 999 A.D., during the reign of Narendra Dev and Udaya Deva, for the Sa-Shakya monastery in Tibet. For the Nor monastery in Tibet, two copies were made in Nepal-one of Astasahasrika Prajnaparamita in 1069 A.D. and the other of Kavyadarsha in 1111 A.D. The influence of Nepalese art extended till Tibet and even beyond in China in regular order during the thirteenth century. Nepalese artisans were dispatched to the courts of Chinese emperors at their request to perform their workmanship and impart expert knowledge. The exemplary contribution made by the artisans of Nepal, specially by the Nepalese innovator and architect Balbahu, known by his popular name Araniko bear testimony to this fact even today. After the introduction of paper, palm leaf became less popular, however, it continued to be used until the eighteenth century. Paper manuscripts imitated the oblong shape but were wider than the palm leaves.

 

From the fifteenth century onwards, brighter colours gradually began to appear in Nepalese.Thanka / Thangka. Because of the growing importance of the Tantric cult, various aspects of Shiva and Shakti were painted in conventional poses. Mahakala, Manjushri, Lokeshwara and other deities were equally popular and so were also frequently represented in Thanka / Thangka paintings of later dates. As Tantrism embodies the ideas of esoteric power, magic forces, and a great variety of symbols, strong emphasis is laid on the female element and sexuality in the paintings of that period.

 

Religious paintings worshipped as icons are known as Paubha in Newari and Thanka / Thangka in Tibetan. The origin of Paubha or Thanka / Thangka paintings may be attributed to the Nepalese artists responsible for creating a number of special metal works and wall- paintings as well as illuminated manuscripts in Tibet. Realizing the great demand for religious icons in Tibet, these artists, along with monks and traders, took with them from Nepal not only metal sculptures but also a number of Buddhist manuscripts. To better fulfil the ever - increasing demand Nepalese artists initiated a new type of religious painting on cloth that could be easily rolled up and carried along with them. This type of painting became very popular both in Nepal and Tibet and so a new school of Thanka / Thangka painting evolved as early as the ninth or tenth century and has remained popular to this day. One of the earliest specimens of Nepalese Thanka / Thangka painting dates from the thirteenth /fourteenth century and shows Amitabha surrounded by Bodhisattva. Another Nepalese Thanka / Thangka with three dates in the inscription (the last one corresponding to 1369 A.D.), is one of the earliest known Thanka / Thangka with inscriptions. The "Mandalaof Vishnu " dated 1420 A.D., is another fine example of the painting of this period. Early Nepalese Thangkas are simple in design and composition. The main deity, a large figure, occupies the central position while surrounded by smaller figures of lesser divinities.

 

Thanka / Thangka painting is one of the major science out the five major and five minor fields of knowledge. Its origin can be traced all the way back to the time of Lord Buddha. The main themes of Thanka / Thangka paintings are religious. During the reign of Tibetan Dharma King Trisong Duetsen the Tibetan masters refined their already well-developed arts through research and studies of different country's tradition. Thanka painting's lining and measurement, costumes, implementations and ornaments are mostly based on Indian styles. The drawing of figures is based on Nepalese style and the background sceneries are based on Chinese style. Thus, the Thanka / Thangka paintings became a unique and distinctive art. Although the practice of thanka painting was originally done as a way of gaining merit it has nowadays only evolved into a money making business and the noble intentions it once carried has been diluted. Tibetans do not sell Thangkas on a large scale as the selling of religious artifacts such as thangkas and idols is frowned upon in the Tibetan community and thus non Tibetan groups have been able to monopolize on its (thangka's) popularity among Buddhist and art enthusiasts from the west.

 

Thanka / Thangka have developed in the northern Himalayan regions among the Lamas. Besides Lamas, Gurung and Tamang communities are also producing Tankas, which provide substantial employment opportunities for many people in the hills. Newari Thankas (Also known as Paubha) has been the hidden art work in Kathmandu valley from the 13th century. We have preserved this art and are exclusively creating this with some particular painter family who have inherited their art from their forefathers. Some of the artistic religious and historical paintings are also done by the Newars of Kathmandu Valley.

 

TYPES

Based on technique and material, thangkas can be grouped by types. Generally, they are divided into two broad categories: those that are painted (Tib.) bris-tan—and those made of silk, either by appliqué or embroidery.

 

Thangkas are further divided into these more specific categories:

 

- Painted in colors (Tib.) tson-tang - the most common type

- Appliqué (Tib.) go-tang

- Black Background - meaning gold line on a black background (Tib.) nagtang

- Blockprints - paper or cloth outlined renderings, by woodcut/woodblock printing

- Embroidery (Tib.) tsem-thang

- Gold Background - an auspicious treatment, used judiciously for peaceful, long-life deities and fully enlightened buddhas

- Red Background - literally gold line, but referring to gold line on a vermillion (Tib.) mar-tang

 

Whereas typical thangkas are fairly small, between about 18 and 30 inches tall or wide, there are also giant festival thangkas, usually Appliqué, and designed to be unrolled against a wall in a monastery for particular religious occasions. These are likely to be wider than they are tall, and may be sixty or more feet across and perhaps twenty or more high.

 

Somewhat related are Tibetan tsakli, which look like miniature thangkas, but are usually used as initiation cards or offerings.

 

Because Thangkas can be quite expensive, people nowadays use posters of Thangkas as an alternative to the real thangkas for religious purposes.

 

PROCESS

Thangkas are painted on cotton or silk. The most common is a loosely woven cotton produced in widths from 40 to 58 centimeters. While some variations do exist, thangkas wider than 45 centimeters frequently have seams in the support. The paint consists of pigments in a water soluble medium. Both mineral and organic pigments are used, tempered with a herb and glue solution. In Western terminology, this is a distemper technique.

 

The composition of a thangka, as with the majority of Buddhist art, is highly geometric. Arms, legs, eyes, nostrils, ears, and various ritual implements are all laid out on a systematic grid of angles and intersecting lines. A skilled thangka artist will generally select from a variety of predesigned items to include in the composition, ranging from alms bowls and animals, to the shape, size, and angle of a figure's eyes, nose, and lips. The process seems very methodical, but often requires deep understanding of the symbolism involved to capture the spirit of it.

 

Thangka often overflow with symbolism and allusion. Because the art is explicitly religious, all symbols and allusions must be in accordance with strict guidelines laid out in Buddhist scripture. The artist must be properly trained and have sufficient religious understanding, knowledge, and background to create an accurate and appropriate thangka. Lipton and Ragnubs clarify this in Treasures of Tibetan Art:

 

“Tibetan art exemplifies the nirmanakaya, the physical body of Buddha, and also the qualities of the Buddha, perhaps in the form of a deity. Art objects, therefore, must follow rules specified in the Buddhist scriptures regarding proportions, shape, color, stance, hand positions, and attributes in order to personify correctly the Buddha or Deities.”

Feb 7, 2014 Friday | Asian Markets 10:15am

HSBC's Most Accurate Forecaster for ‪#‎Emerging‬ ‪#‎Markets‬ ‪#‎Philippines‬ on Bloomberg with Rishaad Salamat

 

Central Bank BSP sounds Hawkish

Rate 3.5% target range to 4.2%

Normalization to ease pressure

Food Household Rising

Strong Growth 7.2 with weak peso

Keeps an eye on FX movement

Not a negative event

Weaken export

Create 2.3m jobs Poverty Level to lower

Strong Favorable Growth

Issue is JOBS to absorb labor force

  

Govt focus on Infrastructure ENERGY

Rates will go up for summer Electricity Increase

One of the Stronger Countries on Debt

Strong Fiscal Policy

No effect from QE suffer less from portfolio re balancing

FUTURE BELONG TO THE PHILIPPINES

Above Forecast Strong Story

  

February 7, 2014 Friday | Understanding the Mind of a Fundie

The Next 5 Trading Days Shall Define Your Trade Positions

Over The Weekend Ponder on Which among your holdings

Will have to take a backseat (cut loss)

Will have to take the lead : add on to your winners

MSCI: Morgan Stanley Composite Index:Think Rating Agencies : S&P, Moody's, etc..

MSCI: Decides Drives the Price of Price. How? Placing Power

Placing Power By Black Rock (a Blackstone Company - a KRAKEN)

Placing Power? Think of a Super salesman, commitment of trades

Caution: Reference on DMCI inclusion 2012; 60 pesos Swan Dive to 45.00

On Re-balancing Positioning shall be processed on

Feb 12, 2014 Wed London Time that is 11AM Thur Manila Time (clarify?)

---------------------------------------------------------------

MSCI

read on rules and criteria for inclusion deletion back test

www.businesswire.com/news/home/20140205006611/en/MSCI-Feb...

---------------------------------------------------------------

use this to find out real time of London US Tokyo

www.forexfactory.com/market.php

----------------------------------

WELCOME NEW TAPPERS!! PLEASE READ FIRST: TAP's Mission Statement

www.facebook.com/groups/559132980815544/

 

TAP was formed by investment banker Tony Herbosa with

1.Roy "Senyor" Reyes - Swing Trading, Technical Analysis (TA)

2.Atty. Christian Del Rosario - Wealth preservation, Legal Aspects

3.Kithe Ortiz - Insurance, and

4.yours truly - Position Trading, Speculation, OPM/Leverage

 

Our goal is to reach out to younger Filipinos on HOW to create WEALTH.

 

Our ultimate objective is to kill "chicken joy" WEALTH formulas put out there, propagated by those who never made any serious wealth. There is so much ignorance out there that will only detract you from making any serious progress.

 

For one, there are many financial literacy "gurus" out there, and they supply you the basics of getting "financially fit". You need them and they do a good job. But being "financially fit", is not the same as being wealthy.

 

TAP doesn't believe true Wealth Creation can be learned by simply attending seminars. It's not what you KNOW, it's HOW you UNDERSTAND what you KNOW, after you have applied and experienced what you KNOW, and that leads to WISDOM.

 

Thus, it's best learned through interactions over time with other mentors, peers, buddies in actual "marketplace" conditions. After early wins, you become Bolder & BOLDER! Gradually strengthening both psychology & emotions, which are integral. Nothing wrong with starting small, i.e. "baby steps" until you can RUN.

 

Money and basic stock market seminars are a good 1st step to Basic Fundamentals, but they alone will not deliver actual results in a "chaotic" market place filled with volatility if not traps. Hence, a little fundamental knowledge is dangerous without the right market "instincts" or contextual experience.

 

TAP's approach to Wealth Creation is through distinct Modules and through Mentors. Best way to achieve your wealth GOALS is by being exposed to the right mentors and market PRACTICIONERS, where positive reinforcement in actual, DYNAMIC trading environments, emotional cycles such as "fear & greed", crowd psychology, and various asset classes are discussed.

 

TAP's basic beliefs as espoused by its TAP founders are as follows:

 

1) You cannot be a "one dimensional" wealth creator, just like you cannot be a ONE DIMENSIONAL MMA fighter in a chaotic battlefield. You need to have varied skill sets,- striking, wrestling, kicking & submission, but more importantly the ART of Fighting itself, including that ability to read your opponent. So you cannot overstay in the casino, nor can you "over depend" on stock trading or mere "savings" to become wealthy. But stock trading, when used to surf the PERFECT waves 1 & 3 or even 5 - or a specific stock play, can speed up your capital formation.

 

2) The key to a good fighter or a good trader is BALANCE. You cannot be a wealth creator & not have balance: TA vs. FA, long term vs. short term, swing vs. position, being cool vs. being edgy, financial vs. real assets, safe vs. riskier (but higher return) instruments, incremental plays vs. strategic home runs in Waves 1 and 3, downsizing bets in waves 2 and 4 and strategically "up sizing" for waves 1, 3 and 5.

 

Also everything must be aligned: 1) your Knowledge/Skills, 2) your understanding of Markets and Chaos, 3) the various Asset Classes ( i.e. the Wealth vehicles), and most significantly your 4) understanding of How the Game or POKER is played (i.e. the Art of Betting).

 

On top of these four (4) above, most important of all is your MENTAL GAME, your emotions, your ability to be detached from fear or greed when the time comes, your "Situational Awareness" gravitating from small to bigger bets in face of market chaos and panic, your ability not to brood over losses and move on. Part of this MENTAL GAME is how to lear how to think out-of-the-box, not to be linear and simply "think differently". Because CHAOS and the fruits of chaos is not often linear.

 

3) The key to making wealth is not simply avoiding RISK, it's understanding risk and embracing it. To learn to fight, you have to spar a lot. For instance, if you turn over your money to UITF guys or the banks, your chance of making money short term is greater. But longer term, you will not develop the right 'life or death' instincts. To learn to fly a plane, one cannot be on auto-pilot. You need that learning curve.

 

4) There is no such thing as a 5-year horizon in stocks. It depends on the bull cycle wave. You can be 5-year investor if you came in 2009. Crazy to be 5-year stock investor today when we are on Elliot Wave 5 and QE is about to end.

 

5) You have to embrace CHAOS. Chaos in markets is your friend. It is the one that gives you a chance. Without CHAOS, only the most logical, linear, deep pocket guys will make money. Like billiards, the game is to spot the next 4 shots way ahead,- not the immediate shot at hand which any dude can figure out.

 

TAP is the opposite of GO NEGOSYO. If you want to get rich without making bantay a restaurant 24/7 or running after sales quotas or receivables - TAP is for you. You may not be as wealthy as the founder of Jolibee Foods, but you will have more time for more important things like - family time, ball time, mah jong time, beach time, mall time, coffee or "tsismis" time with your kumare or people you love and cherish. Let me ask you, didn't Manny Pacquiao have a "Go Negosyo" strategy? What if he just invested all those billions in 2009 (start of supercycle Wave 1) in DMC, EEI, ALI or Aboitiz? What would that amount be now if he merely had a Trader's Apprentice strategy?

 

Ultimately, TAP is about FUN and FREEDOM, a journey of kindred spirits who believe that in "BARANGAY TAP" is where it all starts. If you have gym buddies, running buddies, dive buddies, travel buddies, drinking buddies, - then you need wealth creation buddies too.

 

TAP is for you, if you like > 1) REAL Talk, 2) if you believe you cannot grow wealth unless you internalize the right Wealth Strategies & Instincts, and lastly 3) if you believe that losing weight or gaining wealth involves not just silly formulas but a NEW "way of life" and a " way of thinking" that you build slowly on top of each success or milestone. Welcome to TAP!

Shown here is a label from Case 1 of the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

Continued from:

www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52650032173/in/datepos...

 

Patience is Beautiful

 

وَلَمَّا بَرَزُوا۟ لِجَالُوتَ وَجُنُودِهِۦ قَالُوا۟

رَبَّنَاۤ أَفۡرِغۡ عَلَیۡنَا صَبۡرࣰا وَثَبِّتۡ أَقۡدَامَنَا وَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡكَـٰفِرِینَ

 

And when they went forth to (face) Jalut and his troops they said,

 

“Our Lord! Pour on us patience and make firm our steps and help us against the people (who are) disbelieving.”

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 250

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa lamma barazu: And when they went forth to face him and came in front of them…

 

Li jalouta wa junudi-hi: Jalut and his army and came near them…

 

Qalu: they said, as the ones focusing towards their Lord, the ones beseeching Him, asking for His Help…

 

Rabba afrigh: O Our Lord, pour, with Your Favour…

 

Alayna sabr-an: and shower upon us patience so we are patient when descend upon us trials from You…

 

Wa sabbit aqdaamana: and make firm our footing in that affliction, seeking Your Raza, Pleasure, upon what You have decreed as fate…

 

Wansurna: and help us in being abiding in Your Command and its fulfillment…

 

Al-al qaum il kafireen: against the people who disbelieve and are ungrateful, who deny Your Favour and Your Blessings. Indeed, You are Aziz ul Hakeem!

 

It was in a class on Surah Yusuf that the verse on patience first appeared. The word associated with it was Jameelun. It is meant to be beautiful:

 

فَصَبۡرࣱ جَمِیلࣱۖ

وَٱللَّهُ ٱلۡمُسۡتَعَانُ عَلَىٰ مَا تَصِفُونَ

 

O patience (is) beautiful. And Allah (is) the One sought for help against what you describe.

Surah Yusuf, Verse 18

 

My cousin Sanya raised a point.

 

“I have never ever experienced patience as beautiful Qari Sahib. It is bitter and it is difficult. It is agonizing.”

 

Then she turned towards us, the others in the class and went down the line.

 

“Who here has experienced sabr as beautiful or practiced it beautifully? Have you?” she asked us, calling us by our names individually as if tallying the score.

 

The nays had it. Maybe one person answered in the affirmative. I was just silent. I was just wondering when I even practiced patience at all?

 

I looked up the verse in my class with Qari Sahib the next day.

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Fa sabrun jameel-un: So be patient beautifully, most beautiful (in your patience), over what you face as a trial.

 

Wallahu al Musta’anu ala: And I only seek help from Allah Al

 

Musta’aan, The One who gives help, against…

 

Ala Ma tasifoon: what you narrate with your tongues, O Al Musrifoona, O Transgressors from His Boundaries, because there is no power to bear what you say without the help of Allah and His Power.

 

I stared at the new Name of Allah Subhanahu that appeared.

 

Al Must’aan. The Only One who gives help. And when? In the verse it said, when they say, who are ignoring of all limits, knowingly or unknowingly, when what they say is hurtful, “because there is no power to bear what you say without the help of Allah and His Power.”

 

A few days later at the shrine, I came across the exact same words sabr-an jameel-an. This time it was in the context of the one who was the perfect manifestation of the Divine Attribute, Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon him and his manner of being patient by his Lord). In the tafseer, Ghaus Pak (ra) described exactly what that patience entailed.

 

فَٱصۡبِرۡ صَبۡرࣰا جَمِیلًا

 

So be patient with gracious patience.

Surah Al Ma’arij, Verse 5

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

And after the revealing of the matter for you:

 

Fasbir: Be patient, O Akmal Ar Rusul, O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (salutations and greetings upon you and your family by As Saboor Himself), upon the different kinds of pain from your enemies and their mockery…

 

Sabran jameel-an: with a patience beautiful, without the mix of unease and distress and dissatisfaction and displeasure and a haste for revenge, expecting to punish them due to their disrespecting you. For indeed, the one who is your enemy, soon will reach them a punishment promised.

 

Despite having quoted a hadith endlessly, for the first time in my life it made sense to me why patience was one of the two pillars upon which the religion stood. Why exercising it beautifully only meant one thing; a surrender to what was destined to happen. That surrender is what made it only a boon.

 

Just like the blessing was a trial, surrender made the trial a blessing!

 

And most remarkably, why the word used by Nabi Kareem (Subhanahu sends salutations and greetings upon as As Saboor) for the person who would be successful in the endeavor was “amazing!”

 

Ajban!

 

عن صهيب قال رسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم:

عَجَبًا لأمرِ المؤمنِ إِنَّ أمْرَه كُلَّهُ لهُ خَيرٌ

وليسَ ذلكَ لأحَدٍ إلا للمُؤْمنِ

إِنْ أصَابتهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ فكانتْ خَيرًا لهُ

وإنْ أصَابتهُ ضَرَّاءُ صَبرَ فكانتْ خَيرًا لهُ

 

Said the Prophet of God (salutations and greetings be upon him and his family),

“Amazing is the state of the Believer (Mo’min).

In all his matters is goodness and this is for no one except the Believer.

If happiness reaches him, he expresses gratitude so that is good for him.

And if comes to him adversity, he is patient so that is good for him.”

 

I looked up Allah Subhanahu’s Name – As Saboor: “The One who is most patient and enduring. He does not act hastily but rather waits until the proper time. He does not punish the disobedient and those who didn’t believe in Him. He allows time for them to repent or an opportunity to take the right path.”

 

And what did it mean for me?

 

From the root, suad, be, ra which has the following classical Arabic connotations: to be patience, to be enduring, to endure trial or affliction with good manner, to be contented in trial or affliction without show of complaint, to make no distinction between comfort and affliction, to bear calmly, to persevere cheerfully, to be steadfast, constant, to restrain.

 

The first time the opportunity presented itself for me to exercise that patience and to do so beautifully was whilst writing this piece in Karachi. In a house that I had visited for 35 years and therefore considered my own. A young staff member, who had been working there for a couple of years and was clearly in full possession of Shaitaan, had lost control of his tongue and therefore his tone.

 

The first time I noticed it I didn’t get a chance to react because the owner of the house, my friend, was in the room. She didn’t react so neither did I. The second time though I had asked him for something and he was giving me monosyllabic answers in a voice that reaching the absolute pinnacle of rudeness.

 

In my surprise I said to him on the phone, as we were on the home intercom, “Please control your tone and watch the manner in which you speak to me.”

 

Instead of saying what I expected, which was either denial or that I had misunderstood etc., he turned around and repeated his words with an even more adamant voice.

 

On the verse of losing my temper, I started to say, “Come upstairs…” when my friend’s therapist, who was also in the room, grabbed the phone from me saying, “Don’t! It’s not worth it.”

 

I went to my room in more bewilderment than rage and started thinking about how best to blast him to hell and back. But then a lecture I had heard recently kept coming to my head which kept negating my fury against the young man.

 

I had begun listening to an elderly gentleman called Ahmed Javaid Sahib. He spoke only in Urdu and it was the most refined and therefore difficult Urdu I had ever heard in my life. I had been introduced to him by my mother’s friend Ahad a few years ago.

 

I had tried to hear his talks then but felt I couldn’t comprehend anything so abandoned it. The other deterrent at the time was also that Ahmed Javaid Sahib’s lectures had extremely complicated titles. He was heavy into philosophy and they would start with words like epistemology of this and that. I avoided those completely.

 

His other favourite topic was poetry. He could spend an hour and a half dissecting a single couplet of Ghalib or Maulana Rum (ra). I didn’t hear those either. My vocabulary, tragically minimal in Urdu, prevented it. He was clearly brilliant though so I kept listening.

 

His sentences would be long. We had that in common but it wasn’t working in my favour. When I decided I wanted a few lines for this piece, translating them with Qari Sahib would take ages. It made me realize Urdu wasn’t like Arabic. In Arabic thoughts were expressed such that the words would sequentially describe the thought. In Urdu it was the reverse. The last part of the thought would appear first so going word by word didn’t work. In any case, I began.

 

Once he said about Nabi Kareem that it was not possible for the ordinary to know the realities of the person of the one who was second to Allah Subhanahu in the Universe (salutations and greetings upon him and his family by Al Wudood and His Angels). However, certain characteristics were identified as steadfastly placed in the core of his exalted nature:

 

1.Haya – modesty

2.Sakha – generosity

3.Murrawwat - affection

 

And this was the one that had floored me. The description of the virtue was given in this manner:

 

“Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon him and his family by Ar Raheem, uniquely Merciful for him) refrained at all times from embarrassing anyone. Such that even if he was upset with someone, he only expressed it as a signal. He never criticized anyone by name in front of others, always generalizing the admonition. ‘Why are people doing such and such things?’ he would say and the ones doing it would realize it was them. But he never took names…”

 

4.Tawadda’a – humility

 

Murrawwat!

 

In Karachi because of the incident, I noticed how I was different in my nature. 10 years ago I would have yelled at my friend, blasted the kid, packed my bags and left for Lahore. Instead I slept on it.

 

The verse returned to me and I saw what lay ahead. The possibility of patience being sweet instead of bitter!

 

فَصَبۡرࣱ جَمِیلࣱۖ

وَٱللَّهُ ٱلۡمُسۡتَعَانُ عَلَىٰ مَا تَصِفُونَ

 

O patience (is) beautiful. And Allah (is) the One sought for help against what you describe.

Surah Yusuf, Verse 18

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Fa sabrun jameel-un: So be patient beautifully, most beautiful (in your patience), over what you face as a trial.

 

Wallahu al Musta’anu ala: And I only seek help from Allah Al Musta’aan, The One who gives help, in…

Ala Ma tasifoon: what you narrate with your tongues, O Al Musrifoona, O transgressors from His Boundaries, because there is no power to bear what you say without the help of Allah and His Power.

 

What did I really want anyway, I asked myself. For a poor person to get fired? No. For him to be publicly reprimanded. Perhaps yes. But then was that murrawwat? Definitely not. All I was feeling was a false sense of dignity. Undeniably courtesy of Shaitaan. It was his preferred modus operandi.

 

So I let it go. I surrendered the matter, telling myself that I guess the worst case scenario was that I might not come back to the house.

 

One thing I did, at the advice of an elder in Lahore, was to avoid the person. So as not to put myself in a situation where he might be rude again because it was clearly no longer in his control. I knew what was going on in his head. He was taking care of the person who was most important person in the house. Who was also unwell. Even though he wasn’t doing anything that any other person couldn’t have done easily, Satan had whispered to him what he whispers to everyone who has an “important” job in a house.

 

“You are indispensable, indisposable. Do what you want. No one can do anything to you!”

 

There was a verse in the Quran that attested to it.

 

وَإِذۡ زَیَّنَ لَهُمُ ٱلشَّیۡطَـٰنُ أَعۡمَـٰلَهُمۡ وَقَالَ لَا غَالِبَ لَكُمُ ٱلۡیَوۡمَ مِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ وَإِنِّی جَارࣱ لَّكُمۡۖ

 

And when made attractive to them the Shaitaan their deeds and he said, "No (one) (can) overcome you today from the people and indeed, I am a neighbor for you.

 

Surah Al Anfal, Verse 48

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wa: And overall what help comes against you all (O Believers) and aid comes against you all (i.e. to harm you), that is only the deception of Shaitaan with vain hopes and his allurement towards your enemies (the opponents i.e. the deniers of truth), (supposedly) to help you by that misleading becoming a curse for them. Remember (O Mo’mineen)…

 

Id zayyana: when it was made beautiful and appealing…

 

Lahum Ash Shaitaan amaalahum: for them (the deniers of truth) their deeds by Shaitaan i.e. their enemity with you and their warfare with you.

 

Wa qala: And he said, Shaitaan, in fighting you, inspiring their mind with seduction in their state of fear and discouragement through his way of waswasa, paranoia, until they imagined that, certainly, nobody could prevail over them at all, with confidence in the excess of their numbers and their preparation…

 

La ghaliba lakum al youm min an naas: (he whispered), “No one can prevail upon you today from the people and for you all is the controlling and the victory…

 

Wa inni jaarullakum: and indeed, I am certainly your protector, the giver of refuge for you.”

 

It was literally that. His whole aura was so distorted it couldn’t have been anything else. So I let it go. Two days later I noticed a change. He started doing my work without my asking for it so I started thanking him. He started greeting me every time he saw me so I returned his greeting. And just like that, without reaction on my part, everything normalized.

Thus the Quran promises, that indeed, Allah Subhanahu is with the one who are the Sabireen who seek His Help through prayer.

 

یَـٰۤأَیُّهَا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱسۡتَعِینُوا۟ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ وَٱلصَّلَوٰةِۚ

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِینَ

 

O you who believed! Seek help through patience and the prayer.

Indeed, Allah (is) with the patient ones.

Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 153

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Then indeed, He, at the time when Allah Subhanahu placed extreme emphasis on admonition and instruction and called out to them in hope that they would become aware, even though their original nature is based upon the Essence of Tauheed, One-ness so He said:

 

Ya ayyahalladina aamano: O ye who attained to faith with the Essence of Tauheed…

 

Ista’eenu: seek help, the true reality of which and its unveiling…

 

Bis sabr: is with patience upon that which came to you from the repulsive mishaps of your nafs, selves…

 

Wa sala’t: and prayer i.e. the inclination towards the focus upon His Essence with all of your organs and parts.

 

Innallaha: Indeed Allah is Al Mu’abbir, The One who is expressed as being the Only One who is…

 

Ma’a as Sabireen: with the ones who practice patience, Al Mutahammileena, the ones who bear the burdens of their trials until they are delivered from them.

 

Then Ghaus Pak (ra) prays: “O Lord! Make us of them by Your Fazl, Bounty and your Karam, Generosity!”

 

That was the thing about the prayers of the Chosen. They were always about asking Subhanahu to just make us the way He wanted us to be. Without the striving, without the toiling. Like Kun Fayakun. Be and so it was!

 

Kun lana kama kunta lahum – Make us how You made them!

  

What is a Dua – The Secret of the Supplication

 

وَقُل رَّبِّ أَدْخِلْنِى مُدْخَلَ صِدْقٍۢ

وَأَخْرِجْنِى مُخْرَجَ صِدْقٍۢ

وَٱجْعَل لِّى مِن لَّدُنكَ سُلْطَـٰنًۭا نَّصِيرًۭا

 

And say (in your prayer O Beloved), “O my Sustainer!

Cause me to enter (in whatever I do) in a manner, true and sincere,

and cause me to leave it in a manner true and sincere.

And grant me of from Your Presence, a sustaining support.

Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 80

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

O one who is on the path of Allah, O worshipper, and after that you reached towards it, (the station of Maqam e Mahmood), there will not be remaining for you a (higher) rank of completion and guidance but instead you are now completed and are the guided one.

 

When revelations come to you and permission is granted to you by Subhanahu, you will become a perfect Murshid, guide, for the people with shortcomings, incomplete, interceding for them by the Permission of Allah, for their deliverance from the compulsions of imkaan, possibilities, that lead one to the pitfalls of fire and you will make even them reach the atmosphere of heavens with the ability granted by Allah to you and to them.

 

Wa: And after your reaching from your striving and your struggling and the different times of waking up at night and your praying during the nights by the ability granted by Allah and the ease He gave you so that you reached the stations exalted and the ranks high …

 

Qul: say, beseechingly, to your Lord, seeking refuge from Him, focusing towards him as the desirer of the highest standard of capability and being firmly placed in the station which you have reached by His granted ability and His Help…

 

Rabbi: O my Lord who raises me by different types of Lutf, Kindnesses and Karam, Mercy…

 

Adkhilni: Make me enter by Your Fazl, Bounty and Jood, Generosity…

 

Modkhala sidq-in: the entrance of truth and the destination of being settled and it is the Place of Tauheed, One-ness, free of all kinds of additions and excesses and make me be in it forever without fluctuation and without staining…

 

Wa akhrij-ni: and make me exit the demands of my selfishness and my identity for the atmosphere of dissolution which connects to the honour of ever-lastingness and meeting (The Divine)…

 

Mukhraja sidq-in: the exit of truth without hesitation and shaking…

 

Waj’al-i: and assign for me in the moment of my ego quarreling with me, overcoming me with wrongdoing…

 

Mil ladunka sultan-an: from Your Authority i.e. proven in a way that nothing can overrule it, clearly revealed, witnessed in totality, so it becomes…

 

Naseera: a helper who helps me against my enemies and frees me from their grip in the moment that they attack me.

 

The reality of the supplication also came to me via one of Ahmed Javaid Sahib’s lectures. I had clicked upon a talk by him on the Imam Zain ul Abideen (as), the blessed son of Imam Hussain (as) and the sole male survivor of Karbala. He had spent the rest of his life, until her passing, with his aunt, Hazrat Bibi Zainab (as). My relationship with her formed the essence of my entire spiritual and worldly existence.

 

Unknowingly after my first visit to Damascus in 2010 and in totality since the second in 2022!

 

In the lecture, Javaid Sahib spoke at length about the blessed Imam’s (as) supplications and because of that he defined what it, a dua, is. It was something that I had never paid much attention to at all mostly because I didn’t ask for things in my prayers. I had memorized certain ones from the Quran that Allah Subhanahu had taught His Beloved (salutations and greetings upon him and his family and the words they are taught to speak by their Lord).

 

I connected with the words here and there but not with much emphasis. I just picked a few, learnt them and it became a habit to recite them at some point once a day. I didn’t know until now that even those inattentive utterances had been having an impact. That every single word of the Quran and every sentence of Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon his speech and that of his blessed family) holds in it a ta’seer, an effect.

 

Just recently the dua that had come my way from Ghaus Pak (ra) had transformed my life. Even that was putting it mildly. Hence I was acutely interested in understanding more about what it really was.

 

Javaid Sahib said that the supplication was the core of worship and there was nothing more powerful than it. The ask, when one’s need, was in synchronicity in its words with those most beloved to Allah Subhanahu, fulfilled the demands of worship like no other act would or could. More so it raised the possibility of its being answered and there was nothing more extraordinary.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

“Dua, (and the supplications of those especially loved and favoured by Allah Subhanahu especially the Ahle Beit), offered in a daily routine, is what opens the door towards the path which leads to the essence of the way of worship of Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon him and his family by The Only One who answers prayers).

 

Imam Zain ul Abedin’s (as) prayers are the saplings for nisbat, association, with the duas Nabi Pak’s (salutations and greetings upon him and his family by Allah Al Wudood), with his invocations before His Lord, who raised him like He raised no other.”

 

Then he defined what a dua is:

 

“What is a dua? Dua is the jauhar e bandagi, the jewel of the act of worship, that is felt in its entirety and expressed in totality.

 

The jauhar e bandagi, the jewel of worship, its essence is felt in perfection in the asking for help and it is expressed in perfection as worship by the tongue in words. So both elements required are present and fulfilled (in the Surah Fatiha which is also recited in the beginning of each rak’at of the five prayers):

 

إِیَّاكَ نَعۡبُدُ وَإِیَّاكَ نَسۡتَعِینُ

 

You Alone we worship and You Alone we ask for help.

Surah Fatiha, Verse 5

 

(Iyyaka na’budu and Iyyaka nasta-een)

 

The essence of that act of worship, the way that it is felt when it is uttered, this feeling and its expression on that level does not exist in in any other routine of zikr azkaar, ways of remembering Allah and tasbeehat, His Praise.

 

So if we learn how to make the dua correctly i.e.

1.we begin to learn the reason that the dua is needed by us

2.and then express that need with the utmost humility

3.and with the certainty of Subhanahu’s Mercy before His Presence,

4.if we express it beautifully,

 

then we have been successfully able to internalize the act of worship from its foundation to its perfection.

 

That is how important a dua is. There is nothing else in the Universe that is equal to the dua, the supplication, in terms of encompassing within it in totality the jauhar e bandagi, the jewel of the act of worship. Through it one receives the ma’rifat, the recognition of its haqeeqat. Through the dua one recognizes the reality of worship. It is what opens the way which creates a nisbat, connection, of one’s appearance directly before The Divine.

 

Otherwise all other forms of worship, other than the dua, have the element of the intellect and the mind prevailing upon them (nisbat e zehni). While in the dua is the nisbat e wujoodi, the connection of the essence of the being.”

 

“One’s appearance directly before The Divine!” It was Javaid Sahib again who had told me what there were different chariots that Allah Subhanahu had created Himself to allow closeness with Him. One was shukr, gratitude. One was sabr, patience. Another was ilm, the pursuit of knowledge. There was charity etc. But the chariot that was the fastest, that brought a person, anyone, before their Lord, instantly, was tauba. Repentance! Ikhlas, sincerity, was the pre-requisite for all the chariots to move at all.

 

It made me wonder: was repentance then just a kind of supplication? It was! Because when a person admitted fault and wept over it, recognized the transgression with deep remorse, it was in fact a supplication. Because the repentance, inherently and intrinsically, held within its expression the ask of forgiveness.

 

On my way to Damascus in November, I had come across a dua of Syeda Bibi Fatima Az Zahra (as). I had been perusing a book on the bedside table of my friend’s house in Karachi. It was a book of supplications. Then I didn’t know anything about the power prayer held in it. The page had opened to a dua that was hers. I came across anything related to her person so rarely I had just stared at it. Then I took a picture of the page and memorized the words.

 

اللهم إني أسألك بوجهك الكريم واسمك العظيم ، أن تصلّي على محمدٍ وآل محمد ،

وأن تغفر لي ذنبي العظيم

 

O my Lord! Indeed I ask you for the sake of Your Most Merciful Essence and Your Exalted Name to send your salutations and greetings and praise upon Muhammad (saw) and his blessed family (as)

and to forgive me my greatest sin.

 

That was before my debacle. Every time I would recite the words, I thought two things. Why was there a plea for Subhanahu to send blessings upon Nabi Pak (salutations and greetings upon him) and the Ahl e Beit when He was already doing it continuously? And what was the danb-i adeem, my gravest sin?

 

I asked Qari Sahib the first.

 

He said, “This is because they know that Subhanahu is The Only One who fulfills the right of the sending of those salutations upon His Beloved and their family because He is the Only One who knows His Beloved’s reality and by extention theirs. Many scholars including Abu Muhammad Marjani says in his tafseer that the benefit of sending the salutation only returns upon one’s own self. Thus it becomes as if you are praying for your self. That is why it is considered the afdal prayer, the best one.”

 

Subhan Allah!

 

My gravest sin changed every single day to something new. But I had just discovered the one that had existed in continuum, coating all the other layerings; shirrk. Those hopes I had of others that melted into the fire of possibilities in my head, poisoning my heart with expectations, was what had always been my greatest sin. I was so deeply sorry about it that weeping over it from now till the day I died couldn’t express that regret.

 

But Allah is Al Barro, Kind, so He would let me forget that sin, even that gravest one of all!

 

إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْبَرُّ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

 

He, He, is the Most Kind, the Most Merciful.

Surah At Tur, Verse 28

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Indeed, Allah Subhanahu…

 

Huwal Barro: He is Al Mohsin, Kind, Al Makhsoos, The Only Benefactor, Al Munhasir, The Only One who exclusively possesses this quality of Ehsaan, Kindness and Inaam, bestowing blessings…

 

Ar Rahim: The Most Abundantly Merciful and giving of bounty to the Saileen, the ones who ask, the Mo’mineen, the believers, the Al Mustahiqqeen, the ones deserving, so Allah responds and answers, by His Kindness, our asks of Him. And He fulfills our hopes according to His Immense Generosity and Mercy.

 

I started thinking about the two kinds of forgetting. There was a forgetting that Allah Subhanahu Himself created for a human being. Then there was the forgetting that Shaitaan made a person do. What was the difference between them?

 

One thing was certain. When Subhanahu allowed a person to forget a wrong, it only created more mindfulness. Taqwa became raised out of the gratitude that the sin became forgotten. Forgotten by the mind, the heart and erased in the recording of deeds that held consequence in both places; the world and the Hereafter. Its result was tranquility because the expression of gratitude became intensified. Charity increased. Sensitivity and thoughtfulness for others heightened.

 

Shaitaan’s forgetfulness was ghaflat. It was neglectfulness and unawareness. Its consequence was of veils thick and curtains heavy. Over the heart as well as the ears and the eyes. It accentuated restlessness. It worsened behaviour because it was layered upon an attitude of persistent stubborn-ness and arrogance.

 

Since time immemorial, Shaitaan was in a constant, never-ending race against himself in trying to emulate what was ordained by Subhanahu for the Children of Adam with a singular goal; to see how he could warp Divine Structures and Commands sent for Mankind.

 

A verse in the Quran that said that about him. Whatever Allah made he would alter and corrupt and never stop doing it.

 

وَلَأُضِلَّنَّهُمۡ وَلَأُمَنِّیَنَّهُمۡ وَلَءَامُرَنَّهُمۡ فَلَیُبَتِّكُنَّ ءَاذَانَ ٱلۡأَنۡعَـٰمِ وَلَءَامُرَنَّهُمۡ فَلَیُغَیِّرُنَّ خَلۡقَ ٱللَّهِۚ

 

And I will surely mislead them and surely arouse desires in them, and surely I will order them so they will surely cut off (the) ears (of) the cattle

and surely I will order them so they will surely change (the) Creation (of) Allah."

Surah An Nisa, Verse 119

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Wala udillannahum: And I will surely mislead them with different kinds of deceit and whisperings of paranoia from the Path of Your Tauheed, One-ness…

 

Wala ummanniyannahum: and arouse false aspirations in them which relate to their livelihood in the abode of deception (the world), amongst them being greed and never ending hopes and all kinds of wishes of the nafs, the base self, and what is attractive for it…

 

Wala umarannahum: and I will command them with the changing of that which You have generated and (command them to) find faults in what You created and the breaking down of what You have invented…

 

Fala yubattikunna: so surely they will cut off and definitely tear…

 

A’adanal anaam: the ears of cattle and the nose of the horses (for their gods) and other such deeds which they will do with Your Creation without the permission (necessary) of Jurisprudence…

 

Wala aamorannahum falayughayyarunna khalqallah-i: and I will order them to change the Creation of Allah with my control over them and my consoling and sympathy with them until they change what was created upon the demands of the Wisdom of Divine Commands, which is made to arise upon the nature set by Allah and (as a result of my order) they will deviate from the path of balance and stability.

 

Endless examples came to my mind. The one that was appearing again and again on Drudge the week I wrote this was about living endlessly. The obsession of the billionaire was to never die. They were pouring a portion of their wealth into start-ups to make that happen. That had started years ago. I had written about it years ago.

 

Now even the ordinary had started believing it might happen. And rightly enough were terrified by the possibility (futurism.com/elderly-billionaires-immortal-compounding-we...).

 

Yet that same evil, conniving, hypocrite that Shaitaan was, when push came to shove and he saw defeat in front of him in the moment that it was about to appear, he turned and ran the other way. The betrayal was expected but even then the manner of it was unbelievable. As he ran abandoning his followers, he even declared loudly and clearly his separation from them:

 

Unlike them, he feared Allah!

 

إِنِّیۤ أَخَافُ ٱللَّهَۚ

 

Indeed, I [I] fear Allah.

Surah Al Anfal, Verse 48

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Inni akhaafullah: Indeed I am fearful of Allah, of His Qahr Wrath and His Ghadab, Anger.

 

I can’t help but wonder if asking for that forgiveness of my most serious sin invoking the exact words of the person who Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon him and his family who are purified by Subhanahu Himself) said was a part of him, what pleased her pleased him, that she would enter Paradise first, his beloved daughter, brought everything to unfold as it did.

 

When I was translating Ahmed Javaid Sahib’s lecture into English Qari Sahib remarked:

 

“In other forms of worship, no one knows whether one is fasting or reading the Darood or giving charity or not. But in making the dua, the hands being held up towards one’s Lord, that simple act itself creates a connection of the physical being with Allah.”

 

Javaid Sahib’s lecture continued: “No wonder Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon him and his beloved family which reverberate in the Universe) said:

 

عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ

الدُّعَاءُ مُخُّ الْعِبَادَةِ

 

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, (peace and blessings be upon him and his family who witnessed their Lord in each prayer) said,

“Supplication is the essence of worship.”

 

Subhan Allah!

 

“Dua is the only reason for the state of what is born in the heart of worship and what is needed as the fundamental strength for the cause of perfection in the expression of worship. In the whole life cycle of worship, dua is the deed which creates the greatest ability to cause self-contentment for the nafs.

 

No person can, with all of their qalb, their heart within the heart, with complete intention, with the totality of the nafs and everything in words, learn anything through worship unless he creates a connection with Nabi Pak’s (saw) supplications emotionally, needfully, and his words.

 

It is imperative that one makes the level of that connection with him so strong that the need mentioned in his prayer is also their need. The needs have to be the same.”

 

Even the “Ameen” was necessary. I had read once that Shaitaan tried hard to prevent a worshipper from say the word. The one inserted at the end of Surah Fatiha in each ruk’u. For Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon him and his blessed family) said that the angels also said it.

 

عن أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، ‏‏‏‏‏‏أَنّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، ‏‏‏‏‏‏قَالَ:

‏‏‏‏ إِذَا أَمَّنَ الْإِمَامُ فَأَمِّنُوا،

‏‏‏‏‏‏فَإِنَّهُ مَنْ وَافَقَ تَأْمِينُهُ تَأْمِينَ الْمَلَائِكَةِ غُفِرَ لَهُ مَا تَقَدَّمَ مِنْ ذَنْبِهِ

 

As narrated by Hazrat Abu Huraira (ratu) that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

“When the Imam says ‘Ameen’ say ‘Ameen’. Verily it is that the one whose ‘Ameen’ is in resonance with that of the angels, he will be forgiven that which had preceded in his sins.”

 

If the one in harmony with an angel was forgiven preceding sins, what lay in store for the one in synchronicity with those beloved to Allah!

 

The notion brought another prayer to my mind. It was also a prayer I had come across by chance. In the words of the blessed Imam Ali (as).

 

It was a long prayer. There were parts of it that struck my heart. One of those that I then memorized was this:

 

وَافْتَحِ اللّـهُمَّ لَنا مَصاريعَ الصَّباحِ بِمَفاتيحِ الرَّحْمَةِ وَالْفَلاحِ

 

O my Lord!

 

Open for us the doors of the morning with the keys of Mercy and Success.

 

My friend Amir had told me some time last year that he never used to pray the two ra’kat of Sunnah in the dawn prayer, Fajr. Until, that is, he read that those two raka’t were considered the most important.

 

I looked up the hadith related by Hazrat Bibi Aisha (ratu) who said that the concentration with which Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon him and his blessed family) prayed the two Sunnah of Fajr exceeded that of all his other prayers:

 

وعنها عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال‏:‏

‏ "‏ركعتا الفجر خير من الدنيا وما فيها‏"‏

‏ وفي رواية لهما لأحب إلي من الدنيا جميعًا‏.‏

 

Hazrat Aishah (ratu) reported:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "The two Rak'ah before the dawn (Fajr) prayer are better than this world and all it contains."

 

Another narration goes: "The two Rak'ah before the dawn (Fajr) prayer are dearer to me than the whole world."

 

I had been praying the Fajr prayer for a while but my concentration upon the two Sunnah because of the hadith began to exceed all my other prayers. In that prayer then, in my sajda, I would recite Bibi’s (as) prayer for forgiveness of my greatest sin and the Imam’s (as) prayer for Rahma and Falah as well. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

 

I would be alone. It would be quiet. The doors of the morning would literally be about to open. I wanted them to open for me with the Mercy of the Divine, good fortune and prosperity. I knew those keys were His Beloved (salutations and greetings upon him and his family who are the reason all goodness is gifted to this world by their Lord). They were the keys to everything!

 

As I uttered each word with the entire focus of my heart, it would make the beginning of each day extraordinary!

  

They feel no Fear or Grief

 

“The one who was loved by Allah from the beginning, He makes them pure in the world from that which might distract him even for a single moment from His Being.

So indeed, the true lover does not abandon his beloved in any situation that might harm him.”

Ghaus Pak (ra)

 

أَلَآ إِنَّ أَوْلِيَآءَ ٱللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ

Verily, the Friends of Allah, there will be no fear upon them and not they will grieve.

Surah Yunus, Verse 62

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Ala Inna auliya Allah e: Verily, the Friends of Allah, the Al Munkhala’eena, the ones who are detached from the demands of being human in total, Al Munsalekheena, the one who are far from the requirements of desires of their selves in totality...

 

La khauf-un alayhim wa la hum yahzanoon: there is no fear upon them nor do they feel grief because fear and sadness, they only come from the effects of the tabyat, (the secondary nature that is acquired from outside), and the pursuit of that which fulfills it.

 

Fear is an escapable feeling for a human being. Sadness is another. The Quran mentions both emotions together and repeatedly. More in its absence than its presence. As in His Friends do not feel either. I pride myself on not being scared by much in the world. Back in the day, my anger propelled that assumed arrogance to its heights. But anger cannot be exhibited in front of everyone.

 

There were times my relationship with my father was so badly ruptured that we didn’t see each other for months. That usually happened at the heel of an unpleasant incident. When I did have to see him again after that hiatus, I would feel fear. It would be so intense that I would not be able to stop crying for days before.

 

I was never alone in that interim. I remember on one occasion in particular that my friend Asma was with me. She would comfort me all day, tell me it would be fine, that she wouldn’t leave me alone with him. But it wouldn’t matter. That wouldn’t stem my tears because I would be scared of what would happen. It’s not like I thought it would be loud or violent. It was just the unknown of how he would react and would I be able to bear it.

 

My mother was dead. My sister had passed. I was the eldest. Moving from being the middle child till 26 and onwards to the eldest was the worst. It was strange that fact. With my sister alive, even though her father was different from mine, I wasn’t the eldest in my family because both husbands had been absent. But for him, in his eyes, in some form I must have been the eldest. I was his first child. Playing out both roles exactly like they are stereotyped was a drama and a half.

 

Woe upon me! How I wish I had known him then. My Prophet (salutations and greetings upon the one called Ar Rauf, the most kind and affectionate by His Lord Allah Ar Rauf) that I belonged to, the reason behind the Creation of everything, who worried for me, who felt my pain, who prayed for my suffering, of any kind, to end.

 

An Nahl, Verse 125: “Then pointed Allah Subhanahu towards the perfecting of honouring His Beloved (peace be upon and his family) and the majesty of his rank and the discipline of his etiquette and completing his wisdom and Messengerhood and making for everyone his kindness and his mercy as the gathering of kindness for all and sufficient for all Creation because he is sent in totality as mercy, Rahma, and he is the seal of the Prophethood and Messengerhood and the completer of the matter of religion and its perfection because the reason behind making the religion and the descent of the Books of Revelation and sending the Messengers, it is only to manifest his rank and his station, which is the inviting to the Essence of Tauheed, Tauheed Az Zaati.”

 

No one cared for me more than he did or even the way he did. If I had only known him then, he would have said to me too like he said to his best friend when he once felt fear, “Allah is with us.”

 

For me it was one of the most extraordinary incidents related in the Quran. Of course it was in At Tauba!

 

إِلَّا تَنصُرُوهُ فَقَدۡ نَصَرَهُ ٱللَّهُ إِذۡ أَخۡرَجَهُ ٱلَّذِینَ كَفَرُوا۟ ثَانِیَ ٱثۡنَیۡنِ إِذۡ هُمَا فِی ٱلۡغَارِ إِذۡ یَقُولُ لِصَـٰحِبِهِۦ لَا تَحۡزَنۡ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَنَاۖ

فَأَنزَلَ ٱللَّهُ سَكِینَتَهُۥ عَلَیۡهِ وَأَیَّدَهُۥ بِجُنُودࣲ لَّمۡ تَرَوۡهَا وَجَعَلَ كَلِمَةَ ٱلَّذِینَ كَفَرُوا۟ ٱلسُّفۡلَىٰۗ وَكَلِمَةُ ٱللَّهِ هِیَ ٱلۡعُلۡیَاۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَزِیزٌ حَكِیمٌ

 

If you didn’t help him, certainly, Allah helped him when drove him out those who disbelieved, the second (of) the two, when they both (were) in the cave, when he said to his companion,

"Do not grieve, indeed, Allah (is) with us."

Then sent down Allah His Tranquility upon him, and supported him with forces which you did not see, and made (the) word (of) those who disbelieved the lowest, while (the) Word (of) Allah it (is) the highest.

 

And Allah (is) All-Mighty, All-Wise.

 

Surah At Tauba, Verse 40

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Illa tansuruhu: If you didn’t help him i.e. his Prophet, (Nabi Kareem (peace and salutations upon him and his family by his Lord who loves him)), the one who was helped from Him…

 

Faqad nasarahullahu: then certainly help came from Allah, Ar Raqeeb, The Only One who watches over him. Remember the Help of Allah, O Beloved (peace and salutations upon him and his family by his Lord who loves him), at that time…

 

Id akhrajahu alladina kafaru: when he was driven out by those who denied the truth i.e. the people of Mecca from Mecca whilst he was…

 

Thani Ithnayn: the second of the two i.e. there was no one with him except one man and he was Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) so they went towards the mountain and entered the cave and the enemy, they followed the tracks of their traces and reached that cave…

 

Id huma: when they were, hiding…

 

Fil ghar: in the cave so his companion, Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) became distraught from being found out by the enemy, remember…

 

Id yaqoolu: when he was saying (salutations and greetings upon him and his family by His Exalted Lord) in that situation…

Li sahibi-hi la tahzan: to his companion, “Do not grieve on their knowing (about us) and do not despair of Allah’s Help and His Guardianship.

 

Inallaha: Indeed, Allah Ar Raqeeb, The One who is the Watcher, upon us, present (as a Companion)…

 

Ma’ana: is with us, He is Sufficient for us in help from their harm…

 

Fa anzala Allahu: so He desended, Allah Subhanahu, just as he spoke his words, Nabi Kareem (salutations and greetings upon you and your family by His Own Self)…

 

Sakeenatahu: His Serenity i.e. His Contentment and His Calmness…

 

Alayhi: upon him i.e. his companion…

 

Wa ayyadahu bi junood-in: and strengthened him with such armies i.e. the angels, safeguarding and fortressing (them), as guards for him…

 

Lam taroha: you cannot see with your eyes, such is that army.

 

Wa ja’ala: and He made, Subhanahu, by His Help and His strengthening, for Nabi Pak (salutations and greetings upon him and his family eternally)…

 

Kalimata alladeena kafaru: the word of the one who disbelieves i.e. that which they claimed and argued with him, the word they wanted to make their tradition…

 

As sufla: the lowest i.e. the lowermost in descent. It is not important and it is not paid attention to at all.

 

Wa kalimatullah: And the Word of Allah i.e. the Word of His Tauheed, One-ness, which He made appear through His Beloved (salutations and greetings upon him and his family by the angels and their Creator)…

 

Hiya al-uliya: this is the uppermost, most exalted because Al Haqq is Exalted and no one else is exalted over Him...

 

Wallahu: And Allah is Al Qadir, The Dominant, Al Muqtadir, The Only One with Authority, upon whatsoever He wills…

Aziz-un: The One with all Power, Ghalib, The Only One who prevails in the helping of His Friends upon their enemies…

Hakeem-un: The Most Wise in all His Actions and His Planning.

 

But I didn’t know it then. That if one believed Allah was with them at all times, all fear and all sadness was dispelled!

At the random opening of pages in the shrines, sometimes I had come across the same page again and again. Sometimes the same Surahs. Never did I come across Yaseen, except once. On that day as I read what my heart knew in words alone, I chose the verses from the famous story of the village where three Prophets were sent, only to be mocked and rejected by its residents.

 

One man in the village who had brought faith speaks to the others. His name was Habeeb. I translated a few verses of his call to the others and this verse in particular sparked my interest. What did it mean for the ordinary to be told to enter Heaven? What did it mean to be forgiven? Not promised it but in fact be forgiven? What did it mean to be made of the honored?

 

قِیلَ ٱدۡخُلِ ٱلۡجَنَّةَۖ قَالَ یَـٰلَیۡتَ قَوۡمِی یَعۡلَمُونَ

بِمَا غَفَرَ لِی رَبِّی وَجَعَلَنِی مِنَ ٱلۡمُكۡرَمِینَ

 

It was said, "Enter Paradise." He said, "I wish my people knew.

Of how has forgiven me my Lord and placed me among the honored ones."

Surah Yaseen, Verse 26-27

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

So when they heard from Habeeb his advice and his admonition, they decided to kill him and destroy him so they trampled him by feet to the extent that his intestines came out from his back and he was in that state, that the unveiling of His Lord increased.

 

And Allah took possession of him, The King of One-ness and the special Favour of Allah drew him towards Him and the Sanctity of His Generosity surrounded him, such that…

 

Qeela: it was said by Him from Al Haqq: Leave your nature and shed your egoistic self…

 

Udkhulil Jannah: Enter Paradise i.e. the Atmosphere of One-ness which has not in it hardship or illness and no pain and tiredness and leave it and shed it and enter instantly union. After that union towards what he became united with…

 

Qala: Habeeb said, hoping and feeling sad for them after he received the breezes of Divine Union…

 

Ya’layta qaumi ya’maloon: alas, I wish my people knew...

 

Bima ghafara-li: of how He has forgiven me and revealed upon me and pulled me towards Him after that He hid from me by my egoistic self and erased from me my nature…

 

Wa ja’alani minal mukrameen: and He made me of the honoured ones. The Mukrameen, honoured ones, of the Al Amineen, the ones in peace, Al Fa’izeen, the ones successful, Al Mustabshireen, the ones who are receiver of glad tidings which are, and Ghaus Pak (ra) pointed to the verse:

 

لَا خَوۡفٌ عَلَیۡهِمۡ وَلَا هُمۡ یَحۡزَنُونَ

 

There will be no fear upon then and not they will grieve.

Surah Yunus, Verse 62

 

Something of the extraordinary existed for the ordinary!

I had seen multiple instances of the appearance of the verse of no grief and no sadness with other verses. I was intrigued by the possibility. For the Friends of God it was easy. No aspect of their tabyat, secondary nature acquired in this world, ever prevailed over their fitrat, the original nature bestowed by Subhanahu. What about the rest of us whose tabyat ruled?

What appeared sequentially in the next verse (10/63) after La khaufan alayhim… for the Auliya was indeed a revelation. The secret was held in taqwa!

 

ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَكَانُوا۟ یَتَّقُونَ

 

Those who believe and are conscious (of Allah),

Surah Yunus, Verse 63

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

And after that they detached from its fulfillment and freedom from its demands and they annihilated themselves in Allah’s Essence and they became what they became thereafter. There was nothing remaining in them which was the generator of (the feelings of) fear and unhappiness and peace and tranquility. That person then is not characterized by the example of these opposites and they are…

 

Alladina aamano: the ones who attained to faith in the beginning of their spiritual journey i.e. they were steadfast in the place of the Knowledge of Certainty.

 

Wa: And after they established their abode and were steadfast upon it…

 

Kanu yattaqoon: they were mindful of Allah and safeguarded themselves from the control of Power of Allah’s Attributes which create awe (Jalali) due to their occupation with the attraction of their desires and they were conscious of their bonds with the selection (of their choices).

 

There it was again. Allah’s Jalal, being fearful of Him. The “occupation with the attraction of desires and the selection of those choices.” Choices which most often never even took on any form of reality and almost always just remained fire and poison of possibilities!

 

It was up to the nafs to pick its path.

 

فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَىٰهَا

‏قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّىٰهَا ‎

‏وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّىٰها ‎

 

And He inspired it (to distinguish) its wickedness and its righteousness.

Indeed, he succeeds who purifies it,

And indeed, he fails who buries it (in darkness).

Surah Ash Shams, Verse 8-10

 

Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Fa alhamaha fujuraha wa taqwaha: So He inspired it (the nafs) to both, wickedness and mindfulness, according to that which is placed in it from the forces of heavens as well as of the Earth.

 

Then He burdened it according to what it can bear so that

1.the one who is truthful can be differentiated from the one who is false and

2.the astray from the guided and

3.the denier of Truth from the believer, completing the wisdom, which is rooted in certainty, which reaches the Essence of Allah and which reflects the Dominance of His Power.

 

Qad aflaha man zakkaha: Indeed he was successful and prosperous due to the success He prospered from by receiving from Allah the highest ranks…

 

Man zakkaha: the one who cleansed his nafs from the vileness of the world and from the possibilities of the demands of its desires and its lusts.

 

Wa qad khaba: And he was in a loss and ruined himself…

 

Man dassaha: the one who prevented the nafs from reaching its higher level (from Ammara, corrupt to Mutma’inna, content) and made it wayward. He did this by persuading it to be disobedient and sinful, which was done due to the demands of its base nature, its lustful desires and the wickedness of the world. This persuasion is what makes it deserving of different kinds of losses and deprivation and humiliation.

 

Again possibilities! Again losses, deprivation, humiliation!

 

Subhanahu had defined Paradise for Habeeb as “the Atmosphere of One-ness which has not in it hardship or illness and no pain and tiredness” if he left his egoistic self and shed it. Then union was instant. Then there was no pain and sadness.

 

In my egoistic nafs, the root of pain and sadness was for two reasons. Lack of reliance and lack of gratitude. For every time I wasn’t grateful for a blessing, it was taken from me.

 

Continued on: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52649553016/in/datepos...

 

Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.

 

NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.

...

-----------------------------------------------------

CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden

Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224. 1044, extension 264

agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

—

Mr. President,

Excellencies Ambassadors,

Representatives of international organizations,

Representatives of civil society institutions,

Dear colleagues,

Ladies and gentlemen,

 

It is an honour to represent Brazil in the adoption of the report of our Universal Periodic Review by the Plenary of the Human Rights Council.

 

Brazil participated in the second cycle of the Universal Periodic Review in a transparent, constructive and inclusive manner, reiterating its unwavering support for the International Human Rights System.

 

Today is the culmination of a long and arduous, but very fruitful work. For more than a year now, my Government – and our Mission in Geneva – has been actively preparing for this exercise.

  

This includes a thorough process of consultations amongst governmental bodies;

countless discussions with special procedures mandate-holders, colleagues from the Office of the High Commissioner and from other delegations; and numerous consultations with civil society.

 

We thank all stakeholders who took their time and energy to help us prepare ourselves for this second cycle of the UPR. We also thank those delegations who participated in our review. A special thanks to our troika: China , Ecuador and Poland .

 

We received with great satisfaction the international recognition of the positive results achieved by recent public policies for the realization of human rights. Nearly a third of the recommendations used the expression "to continue its efforts", and a number of them referred to "sharing with other countries the good practices and progresses achieved", especially with regard to poverty reduction and social inclusion.

 

Mr. President,

 

This long process led us to this moment, when my Government has the honour to share the results of our thorough analysis of all comments and the 170 recommendations received at our review on May 25, an average of 2.2 recommendations per participant.

   

During the past few months, a careful examination of the recommendations was undertaken from a legal, political and institutional point of view. 15 Ministries were involved.

   

This broad discussion was essential to lay the foundation for a more effective implementation of the accepted recommendations, in partnership with the Legislative and the Judiciary branches, and with civil society.

   

In reviewing the recommendations, our goal has been to accept as many recommendations as possible, and to do so in a way to facilitate their implementation by the competent bodies.

   

Mr. President,

   

I have the honour to announce, in accordance with the Addendum to the report of the Working Group, that Brazil has accepted nearly all recommendations as formulated: (159 out of 170), in the extent that we share their ideals and are committed to their implementation.

   

A small number of recommendations, 10 of them, whose content face institutional constraints, have enjoyed our partial support.

   

Only one recommendation, which is inconsistent with constitutional and legal principles of the Brazilian legal system, could not enjoy our support.

   

During this presentation, I will focus on the grounds for accepting partially those 10 recommendations and rejecting on sole recommendation out of 170.

   

Mr. President,

   

My Government supports nearly all general recommendations on human rights.

   

Among those general recommendations, Brazil expresses partial support for recommendation No. 127 [“Protect the natural family and marriage, formed by a husband and a wife, as a basic cell of society as it provides the best conditions for raising children”]. The Federal Constitution provides for the State protection of the family, which is the basis of society. Brazil has public policies aimed at protecting the family and ensuring the conditions for raising their children. However, Brazilian institutions recognize other family arrangements as also eligible for protection, such as women raising children alone.

Mr. President, dear colleagues,

   

All recommendations regarding development and social inclusion enjoy the support of Brazil .

   

Brazil also supports all recommendations regarding a National Human Rights Institution.

   

Mr. President,

   

On the issue of international human rights instruments, the following recommendations enjoy the support of Brazil : 1, 2, 4, 5, 7 and 8.

   

Recommendation No. 3 [“Consider withdrawing reservations to the core international human rights instruments, in particular to the Second Optional Protocol to ICCPR”] enjoys the partial support of Brazil. The Brazilian State has ratified nearly all international human rights treaties. Regarding the Second Optional Protocol to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, to which Brazil is a signatory, the reservation mentioned at the recommendation was fundamental to the consensus needed for the celebration of the instrument, and is provided for in its Article 2 (1).

   

Brazil expresses partial support for recommendation No. 9 [“Sign and ratify as soon as possible the optional protocol to the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights”]. The Brazilian State attaches great importance to the promotion and protection of economic, social an cultural rights. Nevertheless, the ratification of the Protocol shall be preceded by comprehensive discussions among the different bodies and national councils responsible for debating the formulation and monitoring of public policies affecting economic, social and cultural rights, since its ratification will generate obligations whose implications need to be understood by all key State and non-State actors.

   

Recommendation No. 10 [“Ratify the ILO conventions No. 189 and 87 regarding, respectively, decent conditions of work for female and male domestic workers and freedom of association and protection of the right to organise”] enjoys the partial support of Brazil . Regarding ILO Convention No. 189, the Ministry of Labor created, in 2012, a Tripartite Commission on Domestic Work, which is responsible for

examining the Convention and for issuing advisory opinions on its content and its referral to the Congress. On the same topic, it must be highlighted that the Proposed Constitutional Amendment No. 478 of 2010, which extends rights to domestic workers, is under consideration at the Congress. With regard to Convention No. 87, Brazil recognizes the right to freedom of professional or union association, according to Article 8 of the Federal Constitution, observing the principle of union unity, as provided for in item II of Article 8.

   

Mr. President, dear colleagues,

   

On the issue of human rights defenders, all recommendations enjoy the support of Brazil . However, Brazil partially supports recommendation No. 79 [“Adopt a policy of taking an explicit and published decision on instituting a federal investigation and prosecution in all cases involving violence against human rights defenders”]. In 2004, the Federal Constitution was amended to allow the Attorney-General of the Republic to request the Supreme Federal Court, at any stage of the investigation or judicial proceeding, the transfer of cases involving serious human rights violations to the jurisdiction of the Federal Justice.

   

Mr. President,

   

On public security, justice and prison system, Brazil supports the great majority of recommendations.

   

However, Brazil partially supports recommendation No. 12 [“Prompt adoption of Bill no. 2442 with amendments that guarantee the independence and autonomy of the National Preventative Mechanism members, in conformity with Brazil ’s OPCAT obligations”]. The Executive Power drafted a bill, currently under discussion at the Congress, which ensures the independence and autonomy of the members of the National Mechanism for the Prevention and Combat of Torture, in accordance with the Optional Protocol to the Convention against Torture.

Recommendation No. 60 [“Work towards abolishing the separate system of military police by implementing more effective measures to tie State funding to compliance with measures aimed at reducing the incidence of extrajudicial executions by the police”] cannot enjoy the support of Brazil, in light of the constitutional provision on the existence of civilian and military police forces. Civilian Police Forces are responsible for the tasks of judiciary police and for the investigation of criminal offenses, except military offenses. Military police forces are responsible for ostensible policing and for the preservation of public order. It should be noted that Brazil has adopted measures to improve control over the actions of public safety professionals, in particular through ombudsmen and internal affairs offices, as well as through the permanent training of professionals in human rights and the encouragement of the differentiated use of force.

   

Brazil expresses partial support for recommendation No. 62 [“That other state governments consider implementing similar programmes to Rio de Janeiro ’s UPP Police Pacifying Unit”]. The government has violence-reduction policies aimed at the security of the population, such as "Brasil Mais Seguro" (“Safer Brazil”) and "Crack, é possível vencer” (“It is possible to beat crack”). The extension to other federal states of any action, such as Pacifying Police Units, depends on the specifics of each location and on the acquiescence of each federal entity, due to the federal pact enshrined in the Federal Constitution. It must also be noted that the model of proximity policing, integrated in the program of Pacifying Police Units in the state of Rio de Janeiro , is encouraged by the Brazilian government in the other states of the federation, within the framework of the National Policy of Public Safety.

   

Mr. President,

   

Nearly all recommendations on the promotion of equality enjoy the support of Brazil .

   

Brazil partially supports recommendation No. 24 [“Amend its legislation for the legal recognition of same-sex couples”]. The civil union of persons of the same sex is already legally recognized in Brazil , as a result of a decision of the Supreme Federal Court.

   

Mr. President,

All recommendations on the rights of indigenous people enjoy the support of Brazil .

   

In what concerns recommendation No. 167 [“Ensure that indigenous peoples are able to defend their constitutional right to ancestral lands without discrimination and their prior, informed consent is sought in cases of projects that may affect their rights”], the Federal Constitution provides that indigenous communities shall be heard, and that the Congress shall issue an authorization for the use of water resources, research and mining of mineral resources in indigenous lands. Moreover, the Convention 169 of the ILO, internalized in Brazil in 2004, provides for previous consultation of indigenous people. The Brazilian State , therefore, already acts accordingly with the recommendation.

   

Mr. President,

   

All recommendations regarding migrants, refugees and trafficking in persons, related to children and adolescents’ rights, on the subject of major works and major events, and on the subject of right to memory and the truth enjoy the support of Brazil .

   

Mr. President,

   

On education, health, food security and the environment, Brazil supports the great majority of the recommendations.

   

On recommendation No. 149 [“Continue the process of expanding the possibilities of accessing the voluntary termination of pregnancy in order to ensure the full recognition of sexual and reproductive rights”], Brazil manifests its partial support. The Brazilian State provides access to health services in the cases of termination of pregnancy allowed by the legislation and by decision of the Supreme Court.

Brazil partially supports recommendation No. 156 [“Continue with its religious education programmes in public schools”], based on the understanding that both the Federal Constitution and Federal Law provide for religious education, with optional enrollment, at public schools of primary education, while ensuring respect for cultural and religious diversity and forbidding all forms of proselytism. Therefore, in compliance with the secular nature of the Brazilian State , religious education in Brazil does not constitute confessional or inter-confessional teaching of faith.

   

Mr. President,

   

Excellencies Ambassadors,

   

Dear colleagues and friends,

   

First, allow me to thank the delegations and civil society representatives who addressed us today. We take due note of their views, and hope to work together, in a cooperative manner, towards the implementation of all accepted recommendations.

   

In fact, our challenge now is to implement the accepted recommendations. My Government attaches great commitment to this effort.

   

As a matter of priority, Brazil will integrate all accepted recommendations into our National Human Rights Policy. This will be done through widespread consultations, including with civil society. The monitoring of recommendations will also benefit from the already existing mechanism. This will help ensure that the UPR is implemented as a core commitment of our government.

We intend to maintain and intensify our dialogue with the High Commissioner and her Office, including her Regional Office, fellow governments, civil society, and other stakeholders, both in Brazil and in Geneva , to ensure the implementation of the accepted recommendations.

   

You can count on our openness to continue discussing openly with all partners. With the promotion and protection of human rights in mind, we will continue to listen.

   

Thank you very much.

 

*************

Exame do Brasil no mecanismo de Revisão Periódica Universal do Conselho de Direitos Humanos da ONU.

Pronunciamento da Embaixadora do Brasil, Maria Nazareth Farani Azevêdo – Genebra, 20 de setembro de 2012

    

CONTACT: K. Alane Golden

Communications / S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224.1044, Xt. 264 / agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well-being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

 

2012 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day T-SHIRT: Front & Back

 

1st 300 Youth to 21 Get FREE T- Shirt!

 

Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.

 

NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.

...

-----------------------------------------------------

CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden

Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224. 1044, extension 264

agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

—

Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!

Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.

As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.

As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.

I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.

 

Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.

Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.

 

Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.

It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!

 

Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!

I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.

The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.

 

Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.

Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.

For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.

It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.

I began to see the entire world differently.

Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.

I began to see myself differently.

Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.

 

Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!

I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.

I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.

I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.

I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.

I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.

But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.

 

The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.

At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!

But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.

Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.

While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.

It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.

 

Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.

Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.

On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.

Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.

I shared the smoothies.

I shared the healthy dinners.

I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.

Because that’s what made me feel safe.

 

What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.

What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.

What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.

What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!

Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.

I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!

 

The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!

The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!

Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.

On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.

I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.

If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.

In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.

 

When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.

As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.

As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.

It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.

Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.

But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.

The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.

But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.

As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.

Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!

Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.

 

Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.

As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.

Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.

But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!

Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!

Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.

As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.

As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.

I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.

 

Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.

Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.

 

Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.

It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!

 

Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!

I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.

The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.

 

Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.

Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.

For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.

It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.

I began to see the entire world differently.

Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.

I began to see myself differently.

Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.

 

Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!

I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.

I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.

I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.

I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.

I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.

But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.

 

The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.

At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!

But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.

Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.

While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.

It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.

 

Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.

Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.

On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.

Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.

I shared the smoothies.

I shared the healthy dinners.

I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.

Because that’s what made me feel safe.

 

What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.

What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.

What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.

What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!

Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.

I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!

 

The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!

The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!

Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.

On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.

I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.

If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.

In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.

 

When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.

As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.

As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.

It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.

Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.

But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.

The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.

But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.

As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.

Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!

Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.

 

Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.

As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.

Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.

But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!

The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.

 

Read more about the project here:

tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html

 

Purchase prints here:

society6.com/TiffanyGholar

 

Buy the book on Amazon and Etsy.

Among the other photographers I know, there has been a great deal of conversation about social media and the effect it has on the one thing that keeps us sane as creatives. We all agreed that we often internalize the question and action we have all grown to despise, “What will generate the most “likes” on Facebook or other social media outlets, followed by the action of doing just that. David DuChemin writes about shooting with your heart and shooting what you love…something that is surely lacking among this new generation of social media photographer. Granted the ability for the everyday person with an iPhone to make compelling images is there, but I believe people with the intention of shooting for the masses have completely missed the point of why we fell in love with photography in the first place. Some people draw, some paint, some write poetry, some go so far as to journal their daily lives. Me? Photography is my journal, my poetry, and my peace.

  

From the second I laid eyes on a white sheet of paper being transformed into a photograph, I was transfixed, with an inability to speak or adequately form the words to describe what I felt. Part of the magic was, and has always been, the act of capturing a moment in time that will, for all intents and purposes, never happen again. I am throughly convinced that when I die, God will give mew the most elaborate slideshow of the images I have made with my eyes…those that could never be captured on any paper, screen, and the like. I will become transfixed again, with my eyes somewhere entirely different, where all of this won’t matter.

  

The point I’m trying to make in all of this is that you, no matter what your skill level, no matter what equipment you use, no matter what your musings are, have a duty behind the lens to shoot with your heart. Don’t concern yourself with what others are doing. Be progressive. Study. Contemplate what challenges in your craft you must overcome…the challenges you must overcome. If “likes” are what you desire, then so be it. But please my friends, never sell yourself out for a show that you’ll never see again and fill your life with images that you’d never want to see in your slideshow. Stay creative, be in love with your craft, and always ask yourself, “why?” -DvK

   

Sprinkler Repair Monument CO.

www.lawnpros.biz/sprinkler-repair-monument.html

3335 Landmark Lane

Colorado Springs CO 80910.

719.963.6267

720.221.3606

As your landscape matures, you're Monument Colorado irrigation system may become inefficient. Plants grow and cover-up sprinklers. Heads may become clogged with mineral deposits. Pipes may start to corrode or break. If you're looking to upgrade or retrofit your system, we can offer our expertise in making your system work right. If your looking for sprinkler repair companies in Colorado Springs we are your people.

Our Sprinkler Repair Services Include:

Repair and/or Replace Sprinkler Timers (Clock)

Repair and/or Replace Broken Sprinkler Heads

Add New Sprinkler Heads or Entire Zone(s) of Sprinkler Heads Drip Systems

Repair Broken Sprinkler Pipes and/or Fittings

Install, Repair and/or Replace Automatic Rain Freeze Sensors

Check System for Coverage & Operation of all Heads & Zones

Diagnose & Repair Low-Pressure Problems

Sprinkler Leaks Found & Eliminated

Detect & Repair Cut Sprinkler Wires

Locate, Repair and/or Replace Sprinkler Solenoid Valves

Sprinkler Maintenance Programs

And Much More

If you are in need of having your sprinklers repaired, Lawn Pros Sprinkler Services is the sprinkler company for you. Our expert irrigation technicians are trained to troubleshoot the oldest to newest sprinkler systems in the industry. Even if your sprinkler system consists of old brass and cooper parts we can take care of your system. Our irrigation technicians can repair anything including broken heads, valves, manifolds, backflows, leaks, timers and rain sensors.

Why Lawn Pros Irrigation Services:

We Have a Record of Thousands of Sprinkler Repairs.

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We Warranty All Sprinkler Repairs.

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We Provide Free Estimates on All Sprinkler Installations.

By choosing Lawn Pros sprinkler services you can have the peace of mind that you have selected a sprinkler and irrigation company that will keep your sprinkler system running all year round and your yard will remain beautiful season after season!

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Garden OF The Gods CO,Security CO,Falcon CO.

The anthropologist Edward T. Hall was born in Missouri in 1914. The foundation for his lifelong research on cultural perceptions of space was laid during World War II when he served in the U.S. Army in Europe and the Philippines. During this time, as well as during his subsequent service as director of the Foreign Service Institute training program for technicians assigned to overseas duty, Hall observed the many difficulties created by failures of intercultural communication. Hall began to believe that basic differences in the the way that members of different cultures perceived reality were responsible for miscommunications of the most fundamental kind. Along with his wife, Mildred Reed Hall, he has published numerous practical and academic books on cross-cultural communication. Hall is most associated with proxemics, the study of the human use of space within the context of culture. In The Hidden Dimension (1966), Hall developed his theory of proxemics, arguing that human perceptions of space, although derived from sensory apparatus that all humans share, are molded and patterned by culture. He argued that differing cultural frameworks for defining and organizing space, which are internalized in all people at an unconscious level, can lead to serious failures of communication and understanding in cross-cultural settings. This book analyzed both the personal spaces that people form around their bodies as well as the macro-level sensibilities that shape cultural expectations about how streets, neighborhoods and cities should be properly organized.

Hall's most famous innovation has to do with the definition of the informal, or personal spaces that surround individuals:

Intimate space—the closest "bubble" of space surrounding a person. Entry into this space is acceptable only for the closest friends and intimates.

Social and consultative spaces—the spaces in which people feel comfortable conducting routine social interactions with acquaintances as well as strangers.

Public space—the area of space beyond which people will perceive interactions as impersonal and relatively anonymous.

Cultural expectations about these spaces vary widely. In the United States, for instance, people engaged in conversation will assume a social distance of roughly 4–7', but in many parts of Europe the expected social distance is roughly half that with the result that Americans traveling overseas often experience the urgent need to back away from a conversation partner who seems to be getting too close. At the level of fixed and semi-fixed feature space, the terms Hall uses to describe furniture, buildings and cities, every culture has similar internalized expectations about how these areas should be organized. United States cities, for instance, are customarily set out along a grid, a preference inherited from the British, but in France and Spain a star pattern is preferred.

Hall's work inspired developments in several fields. In the field of anthropology, he was one of the first to consider the "anthropology of space." Today, this is a robust area of research pursued by anthropologists interested in how the built environment expresses culturally shared ideas and sustains relations of inequality between people (Lawrence and Low 1990). Hall's ideas have also had a significant impact in communication theory, especially intercultural communication, where it inspired research on spatial perception that continues to this day (Niemeir, Campbell and Dirven 1998). In geography, Hall's work has inspired geographers to consider the importance of relative and relational, as opposed to absolute, space, and to ask the questions about how different human communities create and make use of space. Edward Hall's Theory of Proxemics; Strangers waiting for a train in Oklahoma try to maintain at least 18" of personal space. Edward Hall's theory of proxemics suggests that people will maintain differing degrees of personal distance depending on the social setting and their cultural backgrounds. Ideal Suburban Life Near the Turn-of-the-Century

 

The design of houses and neighborhoods is also governed by culturally specific spatial principles and aesthetic standards. An aerial view of Yorkship Village in Camden NJ, a planned community constructed by the U.S. government in 1918, shows the winding residential streets and central community park that epitomized ideal suburban life near the turn-of-the-century.

       

Shown here is a label from Case 1 of the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!

Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.

As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.

As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.

I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.

 

Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.

Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.

 

Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.

It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!

 

Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!

I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.

The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.

 

Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.

Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.

For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.

It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.

I began to see the entire world differently.

Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.

I began to see myself differently.

Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.

 

Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!

I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.

I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.

I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.

I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.

I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.

But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.

 

The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.

At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!

But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.

Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.

While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.

It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.

 

Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.

Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.

On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.

Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.

I shared the smoothies.

I shared the healthy dinners.

I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.

Because that’s what made me feel safe.

 

What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.

What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.

What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.

What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!

Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.

I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!

 

The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!

The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!

Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.

On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.

I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.

If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.

In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.

 

When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.

As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.

As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.

It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.

Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.

But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.

The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.

But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.

As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.

Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!

Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.

 

Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.

As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.

Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.

But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!

LEARNED HELPLESSNESS:

ON AUTHORITY, OBEDIENCE, AND CONTROL

 

[…] in the 1940s, psychotic patients would express delusions about their brains being controlled by radio waves; now delusional patients commonly complain about implanted computer chips,”[1]

 

“The Matrix is everywhere, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.” (Morpheus);

“What truth?” (Neo);

“That you’re a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into a prison, a prison that you cannot smell or touch, a prison for your mind.” (Morpheus)[2]

 

Now, in fact, we already live largely in a negationist society. No event is ‘real’ any longer. Terror attacks, trials, wars, corruption, opinion polls – there’s nothing now that isn’t rigged or undecidable. Government, the authorities and institutions are the first victims of this fall from grace of the principles of truth and reality. Incredulity rages. The conspiracy theory merely adds a somewhat burlesque episode to this mental destabilization. Hence this urgent need to combat this creeping negationist and at all costs, safeguards a reality that is now kept alive on a drip.[3]

   

Humans constantly learn how do things, how to explain phenomena, how to model the world: how to minimize the difference between expectation and observation. To that end, not only learning from success has proven useful, but also learning from failures, realizing when it is time to give up trying something: Repeated failure frustrates us, the pain incurred by failed attempts undermines our self-esteem. We feel powerless and embarrassed in the face of an overwhelming difficulty. And eventually we give up. It is a sign of intelligence to do so; we have learned that something is impossible. The insight of impossibility gets encoded in an emotion, especially if punishment or pain is associated with a failed attempt. This internalized experience of incapability is often so traumatic that we never ever take another attempt, even if the conditions may have changed. We do not even take notice of them any longer. Even if all obstacles get removed: We don’t try anymore. We have given up. We have learned helplessness.

 

Humans learn not only from own experiences, but also by observing the successes and failures of their peers. There are numerous narrative forms for passing on frustrations, there is a tone reserved in every social group’s repertoire of jokes, sighs and lamentos for expressing it. We pat our shoulders and agree that it simply could not be done: We learn the helplessness of our ancestors and peers.

 

Moreover, the future can only be made from what is considered possible: We can only choose among the options for behaviour that we are aware of. Many of the possibilities that our ancestors have gotten frustrated with never become part of our world. They get buried on the cemetery of failed attempts, and pride and pain prevents the ancestors from telling stories about them. Especially when some attempt gets punished by psychological or physical violence, then the emotion that encodes the failure is not just frustration, but a deep injury of the soul: apathy, depression and despair are what the victim will suffer.

 

Human emotions are the material of which power is forged. A plethora of elaborate techniques exist to plant and dung them, stake or trim, harvest, lay, ferment and distil them. Especially learned helplessness has proven an extremely effective means of dressage, particularly in its indirect, socially mediated form: To the end of controlling and stabilizing a status quo, nothing is more powerful than the invisible leash that is formed from the almost instinctive flinching from change that we have developed from frustrated attempts.

 

To braid the invisible leash, it is necessary to create an initial frustration, or worse: a traumatic experience. The use of abasement, physical restraint and violence is unbearably effective at that. These are the knives with which traumata can be cut most directly into the fabric of the self. Alone the realization that these actions are in fact possible and have been applied during every single moment of mankind is deeply frustrating and embarrassing to everyone who has a hope in our propensity for learning.

 

The didactics of helplessness however knows much more subtle techniques, many of which exploit the dependence of the human self-model and self-esteem on the feedback of peers, and the self-evaluation in comparison to what is taught as exemplary by the textbook of the social. The key lesson that an organism needs to learn is one of own incapability: Human identity requires a sense of being in control of matters, such as of the own existence and fate. Make the students of helplessness poor – materially or symbolically; convince them that they are incapable; foster their existential fear; then offer them a straw: They will grasp it and have learnt that it is impossible for them to survive on their own. Give excessive help, function overly, and you shall receive helplessness.

 

The conviction (of an individual or a group) of being out of control needs to get reinforced, practiced and rehearsed. Repeat: We are incapable of dealing with the problem; the problem is overwhelmingly large; it is too complex for our simple minds to grasp; a solution is so improbable that it is impossible for all practical purposes. There is not only one problem: two more get reported every day. We don’t even know enough about the nature of the problems. A conspiracy might be pulling the strings, but there are conflicting theories about who is really, truly in control. No one can know what is going on behind the scenes. In fact, you cannot trust anyone; hence there is no truth. If you can’t convince them of their own helplessness, confuse them and overwhelm them: Immerse them in a constant stream of buzz, whirl their heads around until the liquid between their ears is spinning like an eddy.

 

The notion of “learned helplessness” can be summarized as a mental state that an individual or society arrives at when they internalize failure and stop trying to break out of an overpowering condition – even if that condition changes. Put forward by psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967, it has inspired a number of scholars working in the fields of gender politics, racism, genocide, authoritarianism and related subjects that are concerned with the dynamics of hegemony. It is through suppressive education processes, religious and moral principles (enacted both by families as well as institutions and cultures), violations of human rights and freedom, political pressure, and the continuous recall of the status quo by the media, that individuals and societies arrive at a fatal conclusion: That they do not have the necessary power to change the existing modus vivendi or the prevailing regimes.

 

The existing control mechanisms instrumentalise this aspect of human psychology in the form of social engineering and manipulation of societies. They employ the media, prisons, surveillance and security systems that operate on the basis of social psychology. They systematically manufacture a collective sense of helplessness. By using information overflow, normalizing corruption and injustice, monitoring privacy, manipulating law, operating a police system, applying psychological and physical violence, murdering, torturing, imprisoning, creating conflicts within societies, raising poverty and creating a financial need for their own existence, the ruling powers aggressively develop a system of even greater control.

 

In many of the so-called democratic countries of present day, large parts of society are reluctant about available alternatives in elections. Fewer and fewer people feel represented in parliaments. Often people think that their participation will not matter, given the strategies and games taking place in the election systems: Today, in many countries the notion of “free choice” has to be regarded an impossible dream. “The lesser of two evils”, “strategic voting”, or “voting grudgingly” are frequently heard utterances that give evidence of the lost hope.

 

Experiences of violence – massacres, military coup d’états, unsolved political murders, wars, terror attacks, etc. – are severe traumata in the collective memories of societies. They increasingly help cultivate a collective fear and justify the necessity for surveillance, as well as military and security forces. However, these comprehensible needs transform the role of the state from governing to ruling. This is where the abuse of power starts, and the security forces, media and monitoring agencies, which owe their existence to the collective anxiety, start functioning as tools for the defence of the ruling regime from its own public. It is through violence and an overflow of conflicting information that a society gets confused, loses its trust, and consequently its hope.

 

Is it possible to un-learn helplessness? The exhibition project “Learned Helplessness: On Authority, Obedience, and Control” is the result of a collective thinking process about this question. It brings together diverse positions analysing the phenomenon from the aspects of family, religion, psychology, politics, urbanism, gender, neuroscience and social education. The project encompasses a variety of artistic forms, including sound, video, object installations, photographs, graffiti and drawings – mainly produced for this exhibition. It aims at going beyond the artistic dialog that it suggests, and opening up a discussion platform for collective thinking and for debating the metaphor of unlearning helplessness.

 

CO-WRITERS OF THE CURATORIAL TEXT

Tobias Nöbauer & Işın Önol

Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!

Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.

As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.

As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.

I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.

 

Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.

Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.

 

Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.

It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!

 

Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!

I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.

The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.

 

Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.

Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.

For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.

It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.

I began to see the entire world differently.

Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.

I began to see myself differently.

Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.

 

Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!

I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.

I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.

I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.

I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.

I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.

But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.

 

The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.

At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!

But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.

Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.

While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.

It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.

 

Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.

Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.

On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.

Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.

I shared the smoothies.

I shared the healthy dinners.

I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.

Because that’s what made me feel safe.

 

What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.

What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.

What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.

What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!

Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.

I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!

 

The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!

The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!

Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.

On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.

I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.

If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.

In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.

 

When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.

As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.

As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.

It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.

Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.

But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.

The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.

But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.

As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.

Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!

Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.

 

Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.

As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.

Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.

But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!

A June 8, 1973 advertisement in the Washington Star for a June 8-10 benefit for the Regional Addiction Prevention (RAP) the radical drug treatment facility sought to fund its operation.

 

Ronald C. Clark, a co-founder of the Regional Addiction Prevention (RAP), “pioneered a therapeutic approach to addiction aimed not just at detoxing the body but also the mind,” according to the Washington Post,

 

Clark was a bass player in the Charles Mingus band when addiction derailed his music career. After going through the Synanon treatment facility, he came to Washington, D.C. and never left.

 

The Post wrote upon his death in May 2019, “Many of his clients were African Americans, and he wanted to help them rid themselves of the poisonous effects of racism —the inferiority complexes, the low self-esteem, internalized oppression and self-hatred.”

 

“In a residential treatment setting that could last more than a year, patients studied African and African American history. Jazz musicians, black poets and artists performed and participated in group therapy sessions. Recovering addicts received nutrition counseling, reading lessons and job-skills training.”

 

The vintage Montgomery Spark wrote in 1971:

 

“The center’s approach is radically different from other ‘addict rehabilitation centers’ in the area. RAP operates as a collective, with staff and residents making decisions together.”

 

“RAP’s left-wing analysis of the heroin plague has led to attacks on the organization from reactionary elements who seek to capitalize on an addict’s plight through methadone maintenance or other exploitive methods.”

 

“RAP’s ‘success rate,’ as government authorities call it, has been remarkably higher than other types of treatment. This is probably because RAP’s residents learn that the root of the heroin problem lies in society’s illnesses, and by knowing this, the individual can better realize how to cope with their problems.”

 

Early counselors included radicals like Montgomery County’s John Dillingham that were supporters of the Black Panther Party.

 

RAP initially offered outpatient services before opening a residential facility at 1904 T Street NW in July 1970 and moved into the Willard Street property in 1973 when they were offered the facility for $1 in rent. They later opened other facilities in the District and Maryland.

 

Part of the program for the live-in treatment facility was community service. RAP organized to give out free vegetables and clothes, information on legal aid, welfare rights and where to find medical attention.

 

They worked to clean up the neighborhood around their facilities and ran workshops for the community called “survival teaching.”

 

RAP vigorously opposed the methadone as a drug that produced “Zombies” instead of instilling self-reliance.

 

Connie Clark, a co-director of RAP, said in a 1972 Washington Post interview, “Authorities like it because it cuts down on crime and makes people docile—easy to control. But all the same it addictive and babies born to methadone-taking mothers are addicts and persons on the drug are never free to think for themselves.”

 

RAP struggled financially in its first years of existence, holding benefits throughout the city to keep the facility functioning. Later grants from the city and private-pay residents would help to sustain it.

 

RAP adapted its treatment through the years as one drug epidemic after another swept through the city—heroin, crack, PCP, fentanyl—and everything in between, including alcoholism.

 

Nearly 50 years after opening, RAP describes itself, “RAP's overarching mission is to promote and enhance human health - physically, spiritually, emotionally and socially. Individualized intensive and comprehensive assessment and case management guarantee an all-inclusive care plan.”

 

“RAP, Inc. has served the Washington metropolitan area since 1970. We base our treatment approach on cultural values, respecting and supporting all individuals and their communities and recognizing that a client’s culture is an inseparable part of his or her self-image.”

 

“Teaching from the work of giants such as Malcom X, Frederick Douglass, and Maya Angelou who are models of recovery and overcoming abuse, we motivate clients to embrace the possibilities for their own sobriety.”

 

For more information and related images, see flic.kr/s/aHsmJB3Fvr

 

The image is an advertisement clipped from the Washington Star newspaper.

 

Shown here is a label from Case 1 of the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.

Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!

Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.

As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.

As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.

I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.

 

Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.

Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.

 

Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.

It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!

 

Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!

I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.

The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.

 

Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.

Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.

For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.

It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.

I began to see the entire world differently.

Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.

I began to see myself differently.

Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.

 

Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!

I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.

I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.

I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.

I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.

I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.

But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.

 

The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.

At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!

But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.

Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.

While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.

It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.

 

Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.

Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.

On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.

Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.

I shared the smoothies.

I shared the healthy dinners.

I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.

Because that’s what made me feel safe.

 

What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.

What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.

What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.

What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!

Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.

I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!

 

The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!

The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!

Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.

On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.

I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.

If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.

In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.

 

When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.

As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.

As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.

It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.

Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.

But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.

The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.

But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.

As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.

Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!

Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.

 

Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.

As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.

Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.

But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!

I could think of no better model that My Scene's Kennedy for the "Broadcast Yourself" series. She has the distinctive Barbie face, with the unsettling addition of bedroom eyes, and cherry red slightly parted lips. Combined with her girlish ponytails, she channels a myriad of forbidden fantasies and desires.

 

She is using the built-in webcam on her little laptop to share images of herself with the world. She makes a digital slide show for her social networking pages using a song by The Pussycat Dolls. The lyrics of the song are about wanting fame and attention, and being called sexy by boys. She knows no better way to express herself that to take photos that expose her breasts. She is not thinking of the consequences of her actions, especially what kind of influence this could have on her little sister Ana.

  

read more at tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/11/yasmin-kennedy-and-lol...

 

The Doll Project is a series of conceptual digital photographs that uses fashion dolls to embody the negative messages the media gives to young girls. Though it would not be fair to blame it all on Barbie, there have been many instances in which she has come dangerously close. I chose to use Barbie dolls because they are miniature mannequins, emblems of the fashion world writ small, a representation of our culture's impossible standards of beauty scaled to one sixth actual size. The little pink scale and How To Lose Weight book are both real Barbie accessories from the 1960s. They are recurring motifs in the pictures in the series, symbolizing the ongoing dissatisfaction many girls and women feel about their weight and body image. The dolls' names, Ana and Mia, are taken from internet neologisms coined by anorexic and bulimic girls who have formed online communities with the unfortunate purpose of encouraging each other in their disordered eating. With each passing era, Ana and Mia are younger and younger, and the physical ideal to which they aspire becomes more unattainable. They internalize the unrealistic expectations of a society that digitally manipulates images of women in fashion and beauty advertisements and value their own bodies only as objects for others to look at and desire.

 

Read more about the project here:

tiffanygholar.blogspot.com/2008/08/doll-project.html

 

Purchase prints here:

society6.com/TiffanyGholar

PIECES OF MY HEART SUTRA - INSTALLATION

 

- Karin Faulkner 4/20/16

 

The Heart Sutra or Heart of Perfect Wisdom, Prajna Paramita in Sanskrit, is Buddha’s shortest lesson. If one can understand and internalize it’s meaning, it is a direct path out of suffering. If one dies with it in mind, or with its final phrase, ‘gate gate para gate para sum gate bodhi svaha,’ on their lips or while hearing this sutra, it is said to ensure enlightenment. Buddha said that understanding of the Prajna Paramita Sutra is all one needs to know of his teachings. He said that it contains it all.

 

If only it were an easy lesson ! I know it well enough to believe that is a simple lesson but, oh, how far I am from calling it easy. Like most others, I have never understood it by thinking about it. When I think about what the words mean my response it to argue against it. “No feeling, thought or choice?” “No eyes, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind? No color sounds smell, taste, touch or what the mind takes hold of?” But I like these things, except when I don’t like them. But I want them all the time.

 

But there are times that come upon me in meditation or just sitting in a calm place, or lying down watching clouds when I perceive a lighten-ing throughout me and I smile and say to myself, “Oh, that’s what the Heart Sutra is talking about.” The moments hold a sense of lifting - not that I am lifting, but something is lifted up, off from me. Maybe it’s a burden, but maybe not. It makes me lighter. It is a simple but gigantic feeling. Boundary-less-ness. These moments are slippery and fleeting.

 

I was a strange, quiet, haunted, "over-sensitive" child who sought refuge in reading and communion with animals. Aloneness was precious to me. I felt safe in quiet.

 

I think the experiences I'm having in meditation are probably the same experiences I sometimes had in my childhood. Never indoors, always outside, alone or with my dog, in a contented moment I'd slide into another 'place' where I was connected with everything. Everything was humming in a honey-golden sound - and indeed as the sutra I encountered decades later states several times, indeed all suffering of all kinds ceased.

  

When I first tried meditating at 30 years old it was utterly easy for me. I went into the meditation hall with others at Green Gulch Farm outside San Francisco as a day visitor. I sat down on the thick, round black cushion, copied everyone else's posture, got calm and comfortable. A bell rang. The stillness and focus held me. A few moments later another bell rang. I learned that 40 minutes had passed. "How remarkable," I thought. It was a glimpse but, while Buddhist tales and principles caught me and I wanted to learn more, meditation did not.

 

Trying to get thought a difficult period of time about five years later I went to a five day Zen Buddhist retreat. I did not anticipate that the meditation this time would be harsh to the point of pain, caustically realistic as if a mirror were hung 6 inches in front of my face. It was just about the same as the first day visit's practice. But the first period of sitting was at 4:00 A.M. And went on till sunset. And once more after dinner. I survived the first 2 days only because the 40 minute sitting periods alternated with 40 minutes of strictly patterned, very slow indoor walking. All was completely silent. I really liked that about it all.

 

After dinner the third evening it was my turn to talk to the man in robes who spoke English. Speaking again felt completely odd and the well-constructed silence I had been inhabiting shattered like a truck through a window. I did make my language work and explained in short, stark sentences the impossible suffering and my desire to flee. The master told me if I stayed and used the way he had just taught me to work my breath, that I would be strong enough and most likely something inside me would crack open. Then it would become comfortable, valuable and new on the other side of my pain.

 

The next morning, after light, after breakfast, we were all sitting on our black pillows facing blank walls and I was 'watching my breath', and grimly enduring. The man in robes who did not speak English was, as always, silently patrolling with his stick to gently prod and correct posture, poke to awaken. At one point, about mid-way through the session I knew that he had stopped behind me, not touched me with the stick but laid a blanket around my shoulders. It enclosed me with deep peace and warmth. I did not know that I was cold until the blanket made me glow. The bell rang. I unfolded myself, reached for and found no blanket. No blanket on me nor fallen off me.

 

After dinner I asked for a conversation with the Master. Through the translator I thanked him for putting a blanket around me. " No, the Master says he did not do that. No one put a blanket on you. He would have seen it." "But, I felt it. It changed everything. The pain, the misery, the sharp edges had gone." He smiled a little and nodded and sent me a sentence through the medium. "Perhaps it was grace. This is inside you. It is yours."

 

It was and it still is and still sometimes happens. I slide sideways in the honeyed-hum or am lifted by something familiar to me but still unknown by any words. It's softly breeze-like, but stronger than me in a completely welcome way. I recently saw a cartoon of SuWu Kong, the mischievous Monkey King of China's 'Journey to the West.' Monkey was standing, looking small, in the center of Buddha's hand. "Ah! That's exactly what I feel. And my vision goes beyond all the horizons and I breathe the language of all creatures. There is no pain or suffering anywhere."

 

So I know but cannot say, " The truth beyond all doubt" of the Heart Sutra's promise. I sit in meditation daily and try to "tame the vigorous horse" of my mind. She won't come when called. She's somewhere between tame and wild and I like it that way. Sometimes with calm inside me and quiet outside me, I ride that horse in fields of light and I name her Bliss.

 

.........................................................

 

Now I have cleared out an area of thicket on the edge of my garden, put a chair there and hung The Heart Sutra, broken into its 60 lines in a tree. It's handwritten on 60 long pieces of paper. I also wrote out the whole sutra and tacked it to the tree trunk. To lighten the mood I made more of these "pieces of my heart" from enjoyable quotes from other sources close to the same subject, and hung them there too. I wrote this out amidst the sutra today. I like to think that being with this profound but oh, so challenging topic in a different way, to sit among its pieces in plein aire, will help letting go get a bit more easy & comfortable.

 

UPDATE - May 5. The afternoon after I hung the sutra there was heavy rain and very high winds. I'ts ok, and part of the point of this project that the actual pieces of my heart sutra weather and disappear over time. But not the very next day. Margaret (flickr aka Blue Wind Girl) helped me take it down and we hung the strings inside my house. They were nice there. I lost time working on it, focus shifted to my dying computer. I took it back outside about 5 days ago and have been working with it, making adjustments. I cleared more room under the trees around it and today hauled many buckets of wood chips from the downed trees at the end of the street. When I spread them nicely under the sutra and the trees and on the path to them I felt like I was laying carpet. I brought out a cup of chai, sat down and suddenly, with loud thunder it started raining, hard. I went inside and started working the the photos of PIECES OF MY HEART SUTRA getting them ready to post here.

Warrior Shield Campaign Art by: Pearl Vanessa-Rose Scott, Fort Peck Sioux, age: 20.

 

NARA, NW Trauma Warrior Art by: Michael, Mechoopta Maidu, age: 12.

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CONTACT: K. @Alane Golden

Com./S.M. Specialist, NARA, NW: Nak-Nu-Wit

503.224. 1044, extension 264

agolden@naranorthwest.org

 

The Portland, Oregon Based Native American Rehabilitation Association of the Northwest, Inc., NARA NW, Will Join More than 1,000 National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day Celebrations’ Nationwide.

 

PORTLAND, OR — On Wednesday, May 9th, 2012, NARA, NW will host a Family Day celebration at Concordia University (2811 NE Holman Portland 97211) from 3 – 7pm, joining more than 1,000 communities and 115 federal programs and national organizations across the country participating in events, youth demonstrations, and social networking campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day seeks to raise awareness about the importance of positive mental health from birth. This year, the Awareness Day national event will focus on young children from birth to 8 years old by emphasizing the need to build resilience in young children dealing with trauma.

 

For the past forty – two years, NARA, NW has provided culturally appropriate education, physical and mental health services and substance abuse treatment to American Indians, Alaska Natives and other vulnerable people in the greater Portland metro community. NARA’s unique wraparound child and family mental health services program, Nak Nu Wit, serves families, their young children and youth with mental health challenges, offering culturally-based services and supports needed to thrive at home, in school, and in the community. Research has shown when children as young as 18 months are exposed to traumatic life events, they can develop serious psychological problems later in life and have a greater risk for experiencing problems with substance abuse, depression and physical health. Integrating social-emotional and resilience-building skills into every environment can have a positive impact on a child's healthy development.

 

In conjunction with the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board and Concordia University, NARA, NW will celebrate Awareness Day locally by hosting a Family Day with the culturally-rooted theme: "Warriors Against Trauma", highlighting the strengths & adventure-based youth and family activities, to Elder storytelling, traditional drumming, dancing and singing, the event offers something for everyone - blending rich history and traditions of the past with modern day tribal urban culture. Attendees will enjoy complimentary face-painting, food and drinks, arts, crafts, ceremony, storytelling with Ed Edmo and a special performance by Emcee One and an array of mental health materials and resources aimed at reducing stigma. The event will focus attention on the importance of providing comprehensive, community-based mental health supports and services to enhance resilience and nurture strength-based skills in young children from birth. In the NARA community, Elders, family relations, community members, spiritual helpers and friends are invited to help the family. Nak Nu Wit is a Sahaptin phrase describing the program’s philosophy and mission:

 

“Everything / All things are being taken care of for the people, the people are the project, our responsibility, our work.” It is in this spirit that NARA welcomes all to attend this free event.

 

NARA, NW holds sacred the culture and traditions’ passed down from our ancestors and believes that when we recognize our “Warrior Self”, we can exhibit strength, without sacrificing tenderness. It is precisely because our ancestors called upon their inner warriors to be a source of strength to draw upon in times of great need that we exist today. The “Warriors Against Trauma” campaign honors our ancestors and asks today’s youth to thoughtfully deploy their “Warrior Spirits” to manifest as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy and an unflappable zest for life.

 

“Trauma Warriors” understand a true warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities, and isn't afraid to pursue a purpose to its finish – in the face of hardship, adversity, or strife. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid greatly in the healing process. As our youth strive to incorporate these ideals with today’s fast-paced world, they broaden their realities to internalize mindfulness while overcoming life’s challenges with an unwavering intensity of spirit. Can we get a W.A.T., W.A.T.?

 

"’Awareness Day is an opportunity for us to join with communities across the country in celebrating the positive impact we have on the lives of young people when we’re able to integrate culturally relevant positive mental health into every environment,’ says Terry Ellis, Child and Family Services Clinical Manager. ‘When we focus on building resilience and coping skills in young children from birth, especially if they have experienced a traumatic event, we can help young children, youth, and their families thrive.’"

 

Data released on May 3, 2011, by SAMHSA indicates that an estimated 26% of American children will witness, or experience a traumatic event, before the age of 4 years. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 60% of American adults say they endured abuse, or other difficult family circumstances, during childhood. Research has shown exposure to traumatic events early in life can have many negative effects throughout childhood and adolescence, into adulthood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found a strong relationship between traumatic events experienced in childhood as reported in adulthood, and chronic physical illness such as heart disease, and mental health problems which includes depression.

 

The annual financial burden to society of childhood abuse and trauma is estimated to be $103 billion. NARA, NW is committed not only to treatment aimed at reducing this financial burden, but, strives to address historical trauma through culturally-based mental health services. Through NARA’s child and family mental health programs, our families and youth are treated by nationally recognized trauma experts who aim to decrease the prevalence of exposure to traumatic events among children and youth to eliminate intergenerational trauma, the problems trauma causes, and offer available treatments that can help children and youth recover through resilience. It is a great honor to act as liaisons, standing side-by-side with family and community members helping ensure the complete mental health and well being our youth so they may continue the traditions passed down from elders with strength, honor and dignity.

 

12 year old Mechoopta Maidu tribal member and Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day contributing artist reflects upon what a Warrior Against Trauma means to him, “I have very bad dreams that wake me up at night. With help from Amber, I learned to call my Warrior to make the bad things that happen to me when I sleep go away. He protects me by throwing a tomahawk at the bad things, making them disappear and helping me sleep better.” Michael, NARA Nak Nu Wit client.

 

For more information, join the conversation on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/NARANCMHAD/ and Follow us on Twitter @NCMHAD

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Just like anyone on social media, I like to fill my feed with happy images and highlights from my personal and professional life….but it’s time to start talking about the REAL stuff too!

Although it may seem like I have all of the happiness and confidence in the world if you look at my social media accounts, I have struggled with self esteem issues my entire life.

As a child, I grew up in an abusive environment filled with unresolved generational traumas where I was made to feel like I was the problem in myfamily, and unknowingly internalized that I as an individual was bad.

As with most abusive households, mine was an environment where nothing felt safe….even being myself. So, I began to develop a laundry list of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a state of “survival mode” became my baseline as I entered my developmental years.

I felt so powerless under my father’s endless emotional abuse and violent outbursts at home, that I not only began to believe that type of behavior was normal, but also constantly felt the need to gain agency and assert my own will wherever possible. Which, obviously, did not go over well with my peers and teachers, and only caused me to more deeply internalize that I must be bad as I began to establish my sense of self outside of my family.

 

Like millions of other people with unresolved trauma, as things got worse for me emotionally, I turned to food for comfort, and quickly found myself significantly larger than almost everyone around me in elementary school. Something that my peers and father often made note of in cruel ways that hurt me so deeply and only further caused me to internalize that I must be bad.

Eventually, all of the shame that I felt during my childhood snowballed into deep depression and uncontrollable anxiety that I tried to heal with piles of prescriptions from different doctors that couldn’t seem to figure out what was “wrong” with me. When, in reality there was nothing “wrong” with me. I simply needed to find peace and be reminded that I AM GOOD.

 

Over the years - especially as I became an expectant mother at 17 years old and faced so much judgement for my choice to leave school in order to work while I was a pregnant - I found that excelling at my job served as an excellent surrogate for the validation I was seeking in my personal relationships, and I began to throw myself into my career, both as a way to support myself and my daughter as a single parent, and as a way to prove to myself through tangible means like paychecks and promotions that I was good.

It wasn’t until all of the unresolved trauma that I had been trying to bury with work began to manifest itself physically, that I finally accepted it was time to begin trying to show myself the love I knew I needed in order for my body to heal….even if the concept of being lovable still seemed totally forgeign to me, and I had no idea where to begin!

 

Abuse is a hard cycle to break, and self love is a hard lesson to learn. So, my path to healing was far from linear, or easy, but once I made that commitment to find and nurture the parts of myself that I loved, amazing things began to happen!

I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was losing my mind more than finding myself at first! But, as I began to explore myself as an energetic being and learn more about inner child and shadow work, I discovered that I wasn’t bad. I had just learned to protect (rather dysfunctionally) the vibrant, loving and vulnerable little Melissa who had learned that she needed to stay hidden in order to stay safe so long ago!

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can tell you, the hardest part about breaking the cycle is having no example of how to be any other way. My life had been filled with negativity for so long that I struggled to find myself in a peaceful situation even as I worked to heal myself.

As anyone who has recovered from abuse can also tell you, you just get used to it.

The pain and chaos becomes your baseline, and even when you are consciously in a state of growth away from that state of being, it’s all too easy to find yourself slipping back into relationships that make you feel most comfortable - even if they are simply toxic AF. Which is exactly what I was doing…..until I met Nate.

 

Before I met Nate, I had no idea what it felt like to be seen completely, and not only be accepted for who I was, but adored for it.

Most importantly though, Nate made me feel safe.

For the first time in my life, I was able to stop just surviving, and started thriving in ways I had forgotten that I was capable of.

It was like I had been trudging through mud my entire life, and was finally walking on solid ground for the first time when I finally learned to accept his love.

I began to see the entire world differently.

Instead of an endless stream of stressful situations and impending disasters, I started to see my life as promising and full of possibilities.

I began to see myself differently.

Instead of someone I felt I should be ashamed of, I started to see myself as someone kind and capable that I was proud to share with other people.

 

Once that shift occurred, I began to accomplish so many more things I felt that I could be proud of!

I learned to show myself the kindness I wish I had been shown, and found how freeing it can be to see the world through a less defensive lense.

I launched a successful private chef business out of nothing but my passion for food while I was still waiting tables and had nothing but my intuition to guide me.

I grew that little business into something that could provide a better life, and was finally able to start working for myself.

I built second, and third, businesses that provided me with more opportunities to do what I love, and a real sense that I was capable of so much good.

I started to be able to show up as my authentic self in social situations with less fear of being “seen” and judged for it.

But, even with all of those things to be proud of, I still held so much shame and anxiety around the idea that I was still somehow fundamentally bad at my core, and it was only a matter of time before I, and everyone else, would start to see it again.

 

The way that I had once used paychecks and promotions to provide myself with tangible evidence that I was good, I began to use images on social media as a tangible way for me to remind myself of all the positives when the negative self talk began to sneak into my mind.

At the time, I didn’t really think much into my motivation for posting about my life’s highlights on social media, because after all, it’s what everyone else does too and, let’s be honest - who doesn’t like getting likes?!

But when the pandemic hit last year and my ability to produce content that I felt I could use to prove to myself that I AM good was halted, it forced me to really examine the deeper emotional reasons that I felt it was so important for me to only share things that aligned with an image of positivity and success.

Being positive, and constantly focused on growth, is a huge part of who I am at my core - but it’s far from who I am all the time.

While I spent hours scrolling through social media during the early days of quarantine, I felt completely paralyzed as I watched other people post photos and videos of themselves functioning in ways I couldn’t even imagine in the moment.

It might sound silly, but when I felt the most lost in my emotions, just being able to just create and share a post about how to make a healthy smoothie made me feel like I was at least doing one thing I could be proud of, no matter how ashamed of myself I felt in the moment.

 

Thankfully, resilience seems to be my super power (dysfunctional as some of my survival mechanisms may be.) So, it didn’t take long for me to snap out of that depression and into that familiar feeling of “survival mode” that allowed me to begin working on ways to keep my businesses alive.

Being able to snap myself out of that paralyzing depression reminded me that I am a survivor and gave me the energy I needed to keep moving forward, but it also triggered all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had worked so hard to move away from.

On the outside, I was pivoting like a pro. But, internally, it felt like my emotional state was falling to pieces.

Even though I knew that almost everyone else was struggling with their emotions as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to authentically share any of that darkness on social media.

I shared the smoothies.

I shared the healthy dinners.

I shared all of the milestones as I worked to rebuild my businesses.

Because that’s what made me feel safe.

 

What I didn’t share, was the insecurity.

What I didn't share, were the days that I could barely motivate myself to eat, let alone create something beautiful, or inspire anyone else to embrace taking care of themselves.

What I didn’t share, was the fear that everyone might see me at my worst and judge me for it.

What I didn’t share, was that I was really posting all of that for me, to prove to myself that I was still worthy of love - even though the only one who was even questioning that, was me!

Once I realized that I was using images on social media as a mask, I knew it was time to start healing those pieces of me that I still felt that I needed to hide.

I also knew that I wanted to share my story more authentically on social media somehow. But, I didn’t quite know how…..until I saw a post on Facebook from a local photographer working on a project about women sharing their authentic stories on social media, and it just spoke to me!

 

The concept was an unstyled shoot that showed the authentic me, accompanied by an essay to do the same - which seemed simple. But, it proved to be such a greater struggle than I had imagined!

The essay I could edit, and I’ve always loved to write, so I wasn’t worried about that. But, the photoshoot made me SO nervous!

Having grown up in a home where appearance and projecting the right image seemed to be of paramount importance, the idea of photos that might not portray me in the best light being published on the internet triggered all kinds of insecurities for me.

On the day of the shoot, I just chose to wear what was comfortable - the things I actually wear when I’m not trying to look a certain way.

I didn’t style my hair, or bother with more than my everyday makeup that consists of tinted moisturizer, a bit of bronzer and a little mascara.

If it were any regular day I would have felt perfectly comfortable with the way I looked.

In fact, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner right after the shoot and felt great about the way I looked for that experience! But, the idea of being photographed like that, especially outside by the water where the wind would inevitably reveal angles of my face that I find unflattering, gave me anxiety for days before the shoot.

 

When I arrived for the shoot, I was nervous and far from the outgoing, confident Melissa that usually arrives at photoshoots when I’m styled perfectly and feeling my best.

As we walked through the quiet woods with the snow crunching beneath my boots, I realized that I felt so nervous because I had shown up to this photoshoot as the little Melissa that I had learned to hide and protect.

As we began to shoot, I started to feel sad, and strange that this would be the side of me captured on camera for this project. But, I quickly realized that it wasn’t sadness for the situation at hand that I was feeling.

It was sadness for little Melissa who had internalized that she wasn’t worth being seen just as she was.

Throughout the shoot, I couldn’t seem to shake that sense of sadness and I worried the photos would be ruined because of it.

But, when I saw the photos from the shoot a few weeks later, I realized that as we were walking and talking throughout the shoot, the images that Nikki captured began to tell a story.

The first photos looked posed and happy. But, of course they did. Because that’s my favorite mask, especially in front of the camera! So, I obviously felt fine about those being shared.

But, then there were some awkward attempts at me actually being natural in front of a camera. Which completely triggered all of the negative self-talk that typically leads to me taking great measures to avoid photos like that from ever seeing the light of day.

As we moved on, I could see the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to let my guard down, and I felt so exposed knowing that side of myself would be shared.

Once we were by the water though, I started to see a sense of ease, and even strength emerging in the photos. Even if they weren’t my best angles and my hair was a mess, it looked like ME!

Not the styled, polished version of myself that I feel safest showing the world, but the authentic me that I have no problem sharing with the people I feel safe with.

 

Don’t get me wrong - I very authentically do LOVE to get dressed up, and genuinely think it’s fun to play with personal styling. It’s just fun for me! But, participating in this project has really helped me to reflect on how much I had been using my image as a mask to protect myself from negative self-talk.

As we all know now, wearing a mask can keep us safe, but it also prevents us from being fully seen.

Yes, taking off your mask can be a risk, just like letting other people see you completely can be a risk.

But, as we all know now after a year full of physical masking, nothing feels better than FINALLY being able to take off your mask and just breathe!

Shown here is a label from Case 2 of the exhibit "The Virginia Way of Life Must Be Preserved", on display in the Nancy Marshall Gallery on the 1st floor of Swem Library at the College of William & Mary. This exhibit is part of "From Fights to Rights: The Long Road to a More Perfect Union," Swem Library's project to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Movement. The exhibit is on display from June 18-October 22, 2012.

 

The following is a transcription of the labels presented in this case:

 

Brown v. Board of Education, 1954:

 

The students and parents of Farmville’s Moton High School worked with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in suing the school board of Prince Edward County. The NAACP previously had sought to force school boards to make black schools equal to white ones, but in 1950 it had changed its strategy to try to overturn segregation as unconstitutional. It was involved in cases all over the country, not just in Virginia. The Supreme Court bundled four of the cases, including the Farmville case, together into Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka. Thurgood Marshall and other NAACP lawyers argued before the Court that segregation violated the “equal protection” clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. constitution. Based on tests showing that black children preferred white dolls over black dolls, they also argued that mandatory segregation psychologically damaged children of color, making them internalize feelings of racial inferiority.

 

On May 17, 1954, the Supreme Court ruled in the Brown case that “separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.” Chief Justice Earl Warren, pictured here speaking at William & Mary later that year, worked hard to get a unanimous decision and became the target of white Southerners’ worst venom. In May 1955, in Brown II, the Supreme Court ordered that desegregation proceed “with all deliberate speed” but left supervision of the task to federal district courts.

 

The photograph of Moton High’s Class of 1956 visibly demonstrates that desegregation did not happen overnight. The school was just as segregated in 1956 as the schools attended by class sponsor Mabel Ragsdale Watson and her sister Laura Ragsdale when they were school girls in Roanoke decades earlier, as seen in Laura’s photo album.

 

The Gray Commission, 1954-1955:

 

The Brown decision stunned Virginia’s leaders. At first, they seemed willing to accept the Court’s ruling, but angry newspaper editors and white voters called for resistance. Governor Thomas Stanley then appointed a commission, chaired by State Senator Garland Gray and consisting entirely of white legislators, to determine how to respond. In November 1955, the Gray Commission issued recommendations designed to delay desegregation but allow localities to decide if they would desegregate quickly or not. Among other proposals, the Gray plan recommended giving tuition vouchers so parents could send their children to segregated private schools. The assembly quickly adopted the Gray Commission report in principle. Since the state constitution did not allow public money to be used for private schools, it needed to be amended for tuition vouchers to be possible. A referendum on January 9, 1956 overwhelmingly approved calling a constitutional convention which did just that.

 

Massive Resistance, 1956-1957:

 

In response to Brown II, the Arlington County School Board announced in late 1955 that it would gradually integrate. The NAACP helped parents and students file lawsuits to force integration elsewhere in Virginia. Ardent segregationists, fearing that integration anywhere

could lead to integration everywhere, demanded stronger resistance to Brown. Nowhere was resistance greater than among the white population of Southside, the most heavily black region in Virginia. Southside was the heart of the Byrd Organization, the Democratic machine that had run the state since the 1920s under the leadership of U.S. Senator Harry F. Byrd, pictured here with Republican State Senator Ted Dalton. In February 1956, Byrd proposed a program of “massive resistance” to school integration. Byrd supported the Virginia assembly’s resolution of “interposition” that declared the Brown decision unconstitutional and unenforceable, although this had no actual legal effect. More importantly, in September 1956, the assembly passed a program of massive resistance laws, known as the Stanley Plan after the governor. The plan denied state aid to any locality that allowed desegregation of even one school, authorized the governor to close any school that federal courts ordered integrated, and provided tuition grants to help white parents send their children to segregated private schools if their local public school closed.

 

School Closings, 1959:

 

The Stanley Plan met with immediate challenges in federal courts, with cases pending through 1957 and into 1958. As the school year began in the fall of 1958, federal judges ordered previously all-white schools in Warren County, Charlottesville, and Norfolk to integrate. Governor J. Lindsay Almond, Jr. shut the schools down rather than allowing them to integrate. In November, Norfolk voters voted against petitioning the governor to reopen the city schools, even though the closing affected 10,000 white students and seventeen black students. On January 19, 1959, the state supreme court ruled that the closings violated the state constitution’s provision requiring there to be public schools and the federal district court ruled that the closings violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. The courts ordered that the schools be reopened.

 

Prince Edward County, 1959-1964 and Beyond:

 

After briefly considering shutting the state’s public schools down entirely, Governor Almond conceded defeat and reluctantly allowed integration to proceed very slowly. The more extreme segregationists denounced Almond as a traitor. The state legislature once again adopted a local-option plan, with tuition grants and a pupil placement program that allowed students to be assigned to schools in ways that minimized “race mixing.” The county government in Prince Edward County, in the heart of Southside, shut down its public school system entirely. Using state tuition grants, many white students attended a new private academy, but other white students and all the students of color were left without formal schooling unless they left the county. The Supreme Court in 1964 ordered Prince Edward to reopen its public schools. At that point, only five percent of African American students statewide attended integrated schools.

 

In 1968, the Supreme Court invalidated the pupil-placement program and ordered an end to separate white and black school systems in a decision involving New Kent County. And in 1970, a federal judge ordered a busing plan implemented to desegregate Richmond schools. Not until the late 1980s did busing end.

 

From the Special Collections Research Center, Earl Gregg Swem Library at the College of William and Mary. See swem.wm.edu/scrc/ for further information and assistance.