AlexIII's turn for portraits - Dollmore Cold Heartbroken Kara Klum, made slightly different by me XD

only slightly.

Sometimes when I'm heartbroken I just have to bake a little. 🍪

My darling Ishmael went to the Rainbow Bridge today..... His Aunty Blue was waiting for him there. She'll look after him like she did when he was a pup......

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Yesterday I went to check on my cat colony. Unfortunately "Bonita" is still missing and I am now fearing the worst. I am heartbroken over it.

It had been awhile so I thought I'd better check on Traci and the new pup that lives a mile away from the cat colony.

Imagine my horror and anger to find them in the storage barn crying their hearts out. [ See below].

The main shot was taken last month. It was impossible to take pics of Traci & the pup after I freed them, as they had to "relieve" themselves, find a puddle to drink from as they were so thirsty and were running non-stop w/ excitement to see me.

I'm not sure if I can talk the family into letting me take them away and place w/ a dog rescue group but am going to try. This is unacceptable.

Update: March 30, 2013:

I drove by the property where Tracy and their other dog lives today and was shocked to see that the trailer was vacated. No people. No Tracy. They've moved. I wish her well.

...cause in my dreams i'm always with you

money can't buy you love. but it can buy you hope for love :)

Even though you embarass me with your begging Capri, I adore you and your tactics xxxx Sadly Capri has passed away God Bless her xxxxxxxxxx

All photos used in this mosaic are property of the original photographer, not me. Please visit the originals at the links below:

1. Cold Heart, 2. Sweeter Love, 3. I *heart* you!, 4. candy blossoms, 5. yummy love, 6. Heartbroken, 7. I *heart* candies, 8. Jelly heart, 9. Love, 10. heart afloat........., 11. Sweets, 12. Bonbon d'amour..., 13. crushed, 14. A lost heart, 15. hug me, 16. L

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

It's hard to admit, but it is definitely true... At least for me.

:::

Last night, as I was walking home from the bus stop, this little guy and a car collided. I can only hope that Owl felt nothing as by the time I reached it, it's little heart slowed to a stop within a minute.

I carried Owl home, not knowing what to do with it but take it's picture.

I will bury Owl in a quiet spot in my yard.

Excerpt from an online source-

"Owl Medicine:

Owl knows that all apparent manner of death is in fact a liberation into a new life. Something must first be cleared away for anything new to be born. When a person moves, leaves a job or relationship, has a baby, adopts a new animal friend, something in the old way of life had to die for the new to be created. At the time it may seem incredibly painful because we have been taught that death is an ending, not a new beginning, and that what is in the process of being born is always more beneficial than the old. The pain and grief is extended and heightened when we try to hang on to what was because we believe that s the best we would ever have. The unknown can seem dreadfully forbidding, how will we cope, who will be there if we stumble, what if we fail?"

:::

hey darling

i hope you're good tonight.

and i know you don't feel right when I'm leaving

yeah, i want it but no, i don't need it

tell me something sweet to get me by

cause i can't come back home til they're singing

Anyone is welcome to read this post, or I wouldn't be putting it here. But it's not an advert for my love life. Not actively searching for someone at the moment, and I am writing this for my own reasons and entertainment. But feel free to chime in with comments, if you wish:

Right now my personal life has been rough on me. Have had some bitter, heartbroken crying jags, to be sure. For one thing, after 4 and a half years of separation from Cameron, I am filing for divorce. The paperwork is in process. Luckily, he and I are still friendly, and though we don't share more than brief notes, now and then, we are both agreeable to this difficult change.

In the past year, especially, I have been content and happy and vibrant, due in part to my own efforts to fill my life with what is good. But I can not forget to thank all the wonderful friends, new and old, who have made my journey even better.

Also, a few blokes along the way have taught me more about what I do and do not want in a relationship, when I am ready to have a boyfriend again. And I will be, before too long...

So, I am kicking up my heels, and loving every other aspect of life right now: my artwork, my family and friends, my own interests/hobbies, my strides in good health, doing charity events and having fun in my downtime, with visits to friends, and concerts, etc.

Soooo..to have a bit of fun with it all... what DO I want in a man, when I am officially available?

This is a list of things off the top of my head, some things would be nice, others are a must. Certainly not a full list, at any rate:

1. Have a sense of humor. It helps if you get mine, which can be odd at times.

2. You can be bawdy with me. I am more used to it than some might assume...but I do not like to be openly rude or nasty in public, and if you are, forget it.

3. I'm looking for someone who will value education and wit and have a good appreciation for art.

4. It's great if you know the true worth of good and inspiring music. You certainly don't have to like the same kinds of music that I do, but I have a wide range of interest, and it would be fun to go to some concerts together.

5. Truly listen, and know that I will do the same for you.

6. Have at least some financial stability and live in the same area as me, for a change. :)

7. Buy me flowers, from time to time, without me asking for them. (Don't worry, I'll hint and clue you in on what kinds I like.) I won't expect you to read my mind, and I'm also not afraid to ask for things directly, if you don't get the hint! ;-)

8. If I send you fake mustaches in the mail, please be kind enough to put some on and photograph yourself for me. It's only fair, and I promise I won't use them for blackmail in the future.

9. Take me dancing! (No, I don't know how! I just like it, when I've danced at parties, with guys who do know how. I wouldn't expect you to do it all the time, if it's not your thing.)

10. It's nice to get dressed up to go out on the town, now and then, but I am usually happiest in comfy clothes, in a restaurant that isn't stuffy in any way...heck..hanging out on the couch and watching a good movie with Chinese food sounds fun to me.

11. Not looking for a relationship where we are trying to change one another, but when there is something important that needs attention, please tell me you "can't change" because you are set in your ways. Please. I really REALLY love that. :/

12. Surprise me with something unexpected from time to time. That does not mean a) something that is obviously for you. b) something that is in the category of weird and gross stuff that only men appreciate most. or c) that you've got a wife in Bolivia

13. Take care of yourself, for both you and me....grooming, health, etc. I am by no means perfect, and am still working on my own fitness (and happily seeing results) but it is important. Not just for looks..I want to live a long life. I want you to live a long life.

14. I certainly won't knock back handsome, but heart and soul trumps looks every time. If you got the looks, but you aren't inwardly beautiful ..see ya! If it's the other way around, as far as being a good man, and you aren't a male model, we'll get along famously.

15. Be honest with me..from the start. About the big things, about the little things..not talking white lies. I will accept you fully, for who you are, if you've got your priorities straight. Please don't think you have to invent something to impress me.

16. I think your great Aunt Margie is really hot. (See my first point ^)

17. Be affectionate.

18. Want to know my loved ones, and when we spend time with them I would love to see that you genuinely are having fun, because we are a fun-loving bunch. If I like you well enough to be with you, I will take a natural interest in your folks, too. Family is important to me.

19. Keep going, and work at it, when some of those initial giddy feelings of being "in love" fade. Because passion waxes and wanes, but it can come back 'round and knock you for a loop..in a good way. Steady and true. It works both ways.

20. Don't buy old man jeans, with elastic in the waistband.

21. A man who does some cooking, and household chores on his own initiative? It's only gonna help ya when it comes to sharing the REALLY good aspects of having a girlfriend.

22. I ab allergic to cats. Cats in the housbe are are sorta a deal breaker. I wouldbn't be aball to see you with my eyes gluedt shubt. ACHOO!

23. Dogs are great. I love dogs.

24. Hmmm. I think I'm gonna get a dog, to lure men into my clutches, as we walk in the park. "He's so cute! What's his name?" "Yes, got him from a rescue shelter, last week. His name is Lewis" "Oh, yeah? What's the story behind that name?" "Well, he came with it, but I like to...."

25. You've always been, and will always be, yourself.

Plenty for now. Still, I'm serious about wanting to share all that I have to offer someone, in the near future...we can start out slow. I'm not rushing headlong into any kind of major commitment. I want us to be friends before anything. And, well, heck, I know how to do sexy, and laugh and have fun. Seriously, dude. You don't even KNOW. ;-) We'll have a good time.

Taking a break - Series

Flickr Today

my favorite plate..

Heartbroken: EVERY Monday night at Studio80 on the Rembrandtplein in Amsterdam! Party: Heartbroken Venue: Studio80 Coverage by: Waking up in Amsterdam!

Oct.19, 2010 - Please think good thoughts for Kismet. She has just been diagnosed with a lymphoma (cancer) in her stomach. She is starting on a treatment of steroid and chemotherapy drugs. The oncologist vet tells me that cats usually tolerate this treatment well and their average survival rate can be years.

Feb. 28, 2011 - We lost our battle against Kismet's cancer. Her poor little body just shut down. I am heartbroken.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HDX1Nim4DU

Since there are a lot of heartbroken moments in life, we all need some kinds of remedy. For me, being in touch with nature is the best thing. Welcome to my little garden of kitchen herbs; or you may throw some into your cauldron for wicked potions as you wish.

And FYI, coriander is my favourite herb: delicate when growing, but she is a true survivor; nostalgically good smell; easy to use (eventually, with most of my dishes if not all).

Tip: cut the second waves of leaves, which you are going to use, straight away when they appear. This will trigger the plant to grow stronger, otherwise, the plant will just be like some kinds of delicate micro herb, which we do not want.

I wasn't going to get another kitty after Elliot died..I was so heartbroken... But I got this kitty from a girl that really loves her, but is too busy with school and college to spend time with her.. I told her I'd give it a try...

She hid in a closet at first ( totally understandable) ..I left her be and ran some errands.. When I got back home and was sitting on the couch, she jumped up into my lap and kept nuzzling my hand with her head..

She is very loving and sweet.. So far so good! ; ) I'll catch up later..Have a great day!

I don't really have the words to express how heartbroken I am over the tragedy that took the lives of so many of the Humboldt Broncos players & staff......

Tired and heartbroken, they wait for the milkman to come so they can hitch a ride.

Artist Bianca. Story of "Poor Mary Jane" by Anne Gage in book "Child-Library Readers Book Two" of 1925.

Child Library Readers, Book Two of the Life Reading Service published by Scott, Foresman and Co. Written by William H. Elson and Lura E. Runkel, various illustrators.

Illustrations mainly by L. Kate Deal and Blanche Maggioli.

1925.

Original art by Lisa Betournay. #fineart #painting #skeleton #skeletonart #darkart #heartbroken #skeletonpainting #acrylic #acrylicpainting #surrealism #brokenheartpainting #sadskeleton

Hair - Little bones Lana The Brunette

Outfit - DeviousMind Wicca Scarlet, Harness chest, arms, belts, ankles, panties.

Body- Maitreya Lara

Skin- The Skinnery

Head- Catwa Catya Bento

Hands- Vista Bento

Tattoo- Nanika - Spring is coming White[On9]

Little Bones

maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Penumbra%20Republic/120/16...

Nanika

maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Serena%20Almeria/74/156/2102

Catwa

maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Catwa%20Clip/143/62/23

Maitreya Lara

maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Maitreya%20Isle/128/133/23

TheSKinnery

maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Fruitatious/152/107/24

Vista Animations

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DeviousMind

maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/deviousMind/74/87/33

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iM bloody knackered to boot, u'aLL!

No love for pharmacoLogy @ the moment =[

No joy even after studying 50 hrs =[

after i saw my disappointing grade,

went into a mad baking mood.

Figured, i can at least do something right today.

*** mow ***

First attempt with coconut bread aka pan de coco.

The sweet filling expLoded to the top;

with a sLight burn.

Tried to make some of Tyler's spicy crab cakes.

Otherwise, miLd success.

*** deep sigh ***

Jess 18:01:07 - 30:07:12

It's taken a while for me to post this here. I'm not sure why. I think maybe it's because this is where I shared most of my experiences. When she died, I was so heartbroken, I found it almost impossible to write anything, finding the right words seemed beyond me. Now, weeks later, it's still beyond me. She's been gone for 3 months and I still can't say all the things I want to say. Except that I miss her. And, I'll always love her.

I would also like to say thank you to those of you who have been so supportive, those who sent cards, listened to me crying on the phone, hugged me when I needed it and just let me be sad when I needed to be sad. And, thanks for sharing your stories and experiences. x

I wrote this shortly after she died.

Our girl is gone.

She left us on Monday 30th July. I've been trying to make this post since then, but it's so difficult to articulate everything I want to say. Everybody told me, when it's time, you'll know. When Jess is ready to go, she'll let you know. I took her for a walk in the forest on the Thursday before she died, she stopped and just gave me a look, a look I hadn't seen before, she looked at me... She looked at everything, at the sky, the treetops, all around her, then, just as normal she was off running. I can't describe it, but I knew it was going to be our last weekend together.

Cancer is such a fucking horrible disease, it creeped up on her, at first there were no signs, then there were some, then in what seemed like hours it took over her body. Even short bursts of play exhausted her, she lost interest in going for walks and she was restless at night. It broke our hearts to watch her lose herself.

I know cancer, and I know pain and more than anything else, I knew I didn't want her to suffer. Our vet had gave us more pain relief to keep her comfortable and a steroid to help pick her up a little. We were liberal with it, and she improved, but we knew the time was close. I had read somewhere that dogs dream of the last activity they do, it was so important to us, her dreams would be filled with the things she loved most and the love we felt for her. Her dreams will forever be of swimming in the sea, the sand in her toes, the breeze blowing through her fur and flapping her crazy ears, finding tennis balls in the bushes, of our home, and of us, Cathal & I and how much we absolutely adored her. She had a good last day. We wanted it that way, we didn't want her final hours to be filled with pain, fear and disorienting experiences.

As soon as we walked into the Vets surgery, I felt the most sobering feeling I have ever felt, Jess was my only focus, I don't think I spoke a word, except to tell her what a good Jess she was and we loved her. She fell asleep in our arms, she felt just like a little puppy. And now she's gone.

The emptiness is horrible... Her memory is everywhere, every corner of our house, my car, Cathals van, the forest, the sea, the fields of long grass, my head, my heart.

Our girl is gone