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spotted this heart shaped stone in my garden

Jess 18:01:07 - 30:07:12

It's taken a while for me to post this here. I'm not sure why. I think maybe it's because this is where I shared most of my experiences. When she died, I was so heartbroken, I found it almost impossible to write anything, finding the right words seemed beyond me. Now, weeks later, it's still beyond me. She's been gone for 3 months and I still can't say all the things I want to say. Except that I miss her. And, I'll always love her.

I would also like to say thank you to those of you who have been so supportive, those who sent cards, listened to me crying on the phone, hugged me when I needed it and just let me be sad when I needed to be sad. And, thanks for sharing your stories and experiences. x

I wrote this shortly after she died.

Our girl is gone.

She left us on Monday 30th July. I've been trying to make this post since then, but it's so difficult to articulate everything I want to say. Everybody told me, when it's time, you'll know. When Jess is ready to go, she'll let you know. I took her for a walk in the forest on the Thursday before she died, she stopped and just gave me a look, a look I hadn't seen before, she looked at me... She looked at everything, at the sky, the treetops, all around her, then, just as normal she was off running. I can't describe it, but I knew it was going to be our last weekend together.

Cancer is such a fucking horrible disease, it creeped up on her, at first there were no signs, then there were some, then in what seemed like hours it took over her body. Even short bursts of play exhausted her, she lost interest in going for walks and she was restless at night. It broke our hearts to watch her lose herself.

I know cancer, and I know pain and more than anything else, I knew I didn't want her to suffer. Our vet had gave us more pain relief to keep her comfortable and a steroid to help pick her up a little. We were liberal with it, and she improved, but we knew the time was close. I had read somewhere that dogs dream of the last activity they do, it was so important to us, her dreams would be filled with the things she loved most and the love we felt for her. Her dreams will forever be of swimming in the sea, the sand in her toes, the breeze blowing through her fur and flapping her crazy ears, finding tennis balls in the bushes, of our home, and of us, Cathal & I and how much we absolutely adored her. She had a good last day. We wanted it that way, we didn't want her final hours to be filled with pain, fear and disorienting experiences.

As soon as we walked into the Vets surgery, I felt the most sobering feeling I have ever felt, Jess was my only focus, I don't think I spoke a word, except to tell her what a good Jess she was and we loved her. She fell asleep in our arms, she felt just like a little puppy. And now she's gone.

The emptiness is horrible... Her memory is everywhere, every corner of our house, my car, Cathals van, the forest, the sea, the fields of long grass, my head, my heart.

Our girl is gone

"Though I have a broken heart

I'm too busy to be heartbroken

There's a lot of things that need to be done

Lord I have a broken heart

Though I have a broken dream

I'm too busy to be dreaming of you

There's a lot of things that I gotta do

Lord I have a broken dream

And I'm wasted all the time

I've gotta drink you right off of my mind

I've been told that this will heal given time

Lord I have a broken heart

And I'm crying all the time

I have to keep it covered up with a smile

And I'll keep on moving on for a while

Lord I have a broken heart"

goo.gl/JqnAr

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Im gonna miss you so much <3

by fantasticaldreams ift.tt/20A4HNw

It's hard to admit, but it is definitely true... At least for me.

So confused and heartbroken in the making.

I won't be uploading my PROJECT 365 photos here :) Until I get a flickr pro account, but you can all browse them here

The other day, someone asked me"What do tell your models in order to get that emotion out of them?"

I didn't have an immediate answer. But when I thought of it, I realized that I never really tell them anything. All you really have to do is listen.

*Featured on Flickr Explore*

Mark J. Sebastian | www.markjsebastian.com

but how does it feel?

to swim in your own tears?

you lied and you lied

and i died and i died.

christina perri 'bang bang bang'

thanks to my sister here who modelled for me at 4 in the afternoon in the UK in the cold after having got in the shower wearing a dress so she was soaked. i owe you one Hannah.

an amazing project has just been started - go here to check it out

Heartbroken to see that our favorite 747-8 livery, the Hong Kong Trader, is no more. B-LJA has been repainted in the standard CX livery like her sisters, B-LJN and B-LJB. Thankful for the last chance we had to document her back in January before the repaint!

via Instagram ift.tt/1mQkXNt

For a minute ago you were mine.

- Picture to my school assignment

Have you ever been so shocked and heartbroken? This past week has taken me through the depths of all depressions. This is truly a sucky feeling.

www.brentgambrellphotography.blogspot.com

Add me as a contact on FLICKR

There aren't many things I enjoy photographing more than herons at the nest, I haven't seen any sign of them yet this year though, I'll be heartbroken if they don't come back ! These are the three ' babies ' by the way although they look pretty big by this time in May.

And so I'll go... yes I'll go.

So I'll take that train and ride...

Hoping I can write her a rhyme, that might stop the tick of time...

Get off this situation and feel fine.

♫

Call this one the big tease.

After 69 years in operation, Colorado's famous Ski Train made its last run on 29 Mar 09 leaving its fans and followers heartbroken. To be fair, the Ski Train had been operating at a financial loss to its owners for 21 years, but the economic collapse, rising liability coverage, and pending and uncertain upgrades at Denver's Union Station were enough to push the Ski Train into the history books.

But in stepped the San Luis & Rio Grande with a plan to continue the 69-year tradition of a passenger train running between Denver and Winter Park, CO. The SLRG had worked out a deal with Union Pacific (who owned the line) and Amtrak (who would run the trains) and the resurrected Ski Train was set to make its first run under new owners on 27 Dec 09! But in the days leading up to the first departure, pending issues remained unresolved. Verbal agreements and good will didn't stand up and things started to fall apart. On 28 Dec 09, the 2009-2010 Ski Train was cancelled. The main issue was that Amtrak could not reach a deal to run the trains citing unsafe equipment.

But none of that drama was in play when I "accidentally" happened out onto the passenger platform at Union Station a week before departure day to snap some shots of the recently leased and arrived SD90MACs which would provide power for the upcoming Ski Train. These things sparkled in the sunshine and I wondered what they would look like heading up the mountains and through the tunnels on their way to Winter Park.

After a brief discussion with a security guard, I was on my way with a rare sampling of the Ski Train that never was...

LOVE U PRINCE! Just Heartbroken

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

~ Kahlil Gibran

211/365 Photo Manipulations Project

After all, it's the unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day today.

And I'm still single. Funny that.

Also see the rejected day 136, and the still life shot I had to do.

And check out day 135 while you're at it!

I've had loads of fun with the real heart... The titles, the punniness... etc etc. Yep, I'm surviving... But I think the smell of the heart is rather strong, so I think that's it from the heart... I promise, from the bottom of my heart!