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I have just recently started playing Bloodborne.

And thus far it has been sheer and total Hell.

We won't even talk about

how it took ten million deaths before

I even got past that first wicked werewolf

at the clinic library lounge.

We also won't talk about how

I had to fight the damn beast with my bare hands

because I could not, for the bleeding life of me, figure out how to equip my weapons.

I have never played a game where the supposed simple act

of enabling your gear was not intuitive.

Forget about just clicking them in the top most visible menu.

No. That'd be too easy.

So--after totally winging it and finally beating the werewolf from hell

and Still not having any weapons in my hands,

I broke down and went online to investigate--

only to discover that I have to go down into a fucking sub-menu,

add the chosen weapons to the 1st and 3rd boxes,

and then activate my saw-cleaver and pistol from there?

Seriously???

No wonder I was just using my bare hands.

Anyway--after I got past that fucking werewolf,

I strolled into Yharnam proper

and proceeded to die a billion more deaths.

I could Not even get down the first part of that street

without being chopped to pieces over and over

and over and over and over and over.

I am enjoying it though.

It's scary, dark and mysterious.

Also, the architecture is pleasing and the enemies are intelligent.

Still, after being destroyed at every turn,

I am learning how to navigate and fight better. And run.

I have learned how to run away really fast.

We'll see how it goes.

Again, this is all just the very beginning of the damn game.

I know it's going to get much worse.

Last night, I finally made it to the first boss---

The Cleric Beast.

And Jesus--it's a living screaming nightmare.

I probably won't get past it's abominable ass until January.

p.s.

I wonder if the guy at that first Pink Lamp is interested in maybe being my Romantic interest.

He seems to have a really bad cough but his voice is soothing and sexy as hell.

(I made him give me directions multiple times just so I could listen to him talk).

I mean, I might be an Outsider,

but I am cleaning up his city

by ridding the streets and sewers

of hideously transformed citizens

and monstrous black magick beasts.

The least he could do is let me in

and let me have my way with him.

I've got a couple of things

to help---clear up his cough.

Vincent Underverse.

---

"You will never see the Underverse!

He will kill us both before our due time."

I have been playing The Witness.

And, while enjoying the scenery and wandering around a bit,

have mostly been banging my dumb head

against the aggravating puzzles.

While I am glad someone finally made a great (console)(spiritual) successor to Myst and Obsidian,

I am not pleased to discover I that I am not very bright.

I'm not even that far into the game

and there have already been two locations where I could not even begin the section

because I couldn't even figure out the first damn puzzle.

And since the puzzles

(at least the ones I've come across so far)

are mostly sequential, you have to figure out the

key/pattern that will help you progress

and unlock the cable to the next puzzle.

Sounds simple doesn't it?

Well, it's anything but that.

 

What, for the love of God,

do the squares inside the squares mean??

I can't figure that one out and it's shown up again

when I peeked into another area.

So far I've completed the entry garden,

the little bunker outside the garden,

that symmetry/boat house area,

the desert ruins area

(except for puzzle that opens the bunker door by the sea)

the pink orchard,

and the two puzzle installations before the pink orchard.

 

Now that I'm writing this I think I've only activated two lasers.

Oh--I did get the windmill going--

which I noticed has a puzzle on it's face

and which I'm sure will haunt me later-

but that area underneath with the video--is bizarre.

I wasn't able to solve any of those puzzles.

 

I did solve two puzzles in--shit-

I don't where or what the area is called

but--whatever--I've stopped playing for now.

I would sit there after work staring at the screen so long

trying to figure out a pattern/path

and would eventually feel what energy I had left

just fade right out of me.

I kept nodding out.

 

So I bought Call of Duty: Black Ops III.

I'll be battling rouge operatives

and storming enemy camps in Singapore at night.

And during the day (on the weekends)

I'll wrestle with The Witness--

on the island of mind bending puzzles--

since I'll be armed with fresh coffee

and a clear head from a full night's sleep.

Combat ready Culture-Bot.

Come get you some.

 

For Berdle

From Vyr.

 

Vincent is expected to medal in:

Spellcrafting

Levitation

Telekinesis

Golem construction

Psychic labyrinth

Electronic warfare

Handwriting analysis

Bowling

 

In a soft, breathlessly, excited announcer's voice:

Right now Vincent is going to attempt a 360 degree levitation spin

while releasing Gabriel fire onto 16 rotating targets placed around the football field.

6 of the targets will be hidden.

This exercise has a Level 42 Difficulty.

 

Vincent is sponsored by:

Arkansas Sports Association

ALDI

Aeon Flux Fan Club

Austin Merrick Fan Club

Martin Valko Fan Club

Lance Alexander Fan Club

Vic Hall Fan Club

Jarrod Scott Fan Club

Joakim Noah Fan Club

Jarvis Chandler Fan Club

Ty Roderick Fan Club

Tony Ward Fan Club

Ricky Sinz Fan Club

Drake Jaden Fan Club

Paul Carrigan Fan Club

Andres Risso Fan Club

Chubby Honeybear Club

Cocteau Twins Fan Club

Kirlian Camera Fan Club

Grace Jones Fan Club

Iain M. Banks Fan Club

Issabelle Huppert Fan Club

In Aisce Atelier

Sally's Beauty Supply

Skyscraper Page Forum

Black Men Can Do A Lot More Than Play Basketball Thank You Very Much Association

Blue Collar Men Association

Sexy Sicilian Men Association

Workin' Men

Chaos Men

Gemini Men

Gay Geeks Association

Avant Garde Aliens Association

Space Music Composers

Force Five Anime Productions

Fatal Frame Fotos

The Vampire Vittorio

Vampire Hunter D

Xavier Institute

University of Illinois Alumni

Unpublished Poets

Adult Literacy Program

Battle Royale Program

Black Cats Everywhere

Frou Frou Foxes In Midsummer Fires

Minotauro

Ivo

Donimo

Neo

Nigrum Solis Ordo

Namsiel

Illuminati

Operati

Otterley

Oomingmak Orbital

Vavatch Orbital

Chiark Orbital

The Mistake Not...

The Darkness

The Dreaming

The Dome Room

The Black Lodge

Polity War Drones

Project Pitchfork

Sony Playstation

Dieux De Stade

Delmonico's Gourmet Buffet

Crumb's Coffee Toffee Cupcake

Miss Que's Cross Country Club

Chicago Public Transit Authority

Cirque de la Lune Noire

Clan Ventrue

Cowboy Bebop

Afro Samurai

Assassin Zer0

Antelope

Abandoned Amusement Park Aficionados

Alcoholic's Anonymous

Low Self Esteem Equestrian Club

   

Master of the Abyss:

 

for Dr. Joseph E. Stack

R.I.P.

 

I miss you so much.

I needed you so much this past month.

I cannot stop being a fucking fool.

 

V.

I have just recently started playing Bloodborne.

And thus far it has been sheer and total Hell.

We won't even talk about

how it took ten million deaths before

I even got past that first wicked werewolf

at the clinic library lounge.

We also won't talk about how

I had to fight the damn beast with my bare hands

because I could not, for the bleeding life of me, figure out how to equip my weapons.

I have never played a game where the supposed simple act

of enabling your gear was not intuitive.

Forget about just clicking them in the top most visible menu.

No. That'd be too easy.

So--after totally winging it and finally beating the werewolf from hell

and Still not having any weapons in my hands,

I broke down and went online to investigate--

only to discover that I have to go down into a fucking sub-menu,

add the chosen weapons to the 1st and 3rd boxes,

and then activate my saw-cleaver and pistol from there?

Seriously???

No wonder I was just using my bare hands.

Anyway--after I got past that fucking werewolf,

I strolled into Yharnam proper

and proceeded to die a billion more deaths.

I could Not even get down the first part of that street

without being chopped to pieces over and over

and over and over and over and over.

I am enjoying it though.

It's scary, dark and mysterious.

Also, the architecture is pleasing and the enemies are intelligent.

Still, after being destroyed at every turn,

I am learning how to navigate and fight better. And run.

I have learned how to run away really fast.

We'll see how it goes.

Again, this is all just the very beginning of the damn game.

I know it's going to get much worse.

Last night, I finally made it to the first boss---

The Cleric Beast.

And Jesus--it's a living screaming nightmare.

I probably won't get past it's abominable ass until January.

p.s.

I wonder if the guy at that first Pink Lamp is interested in maybe being my Romantic interest.

He seems to have a really bad cough but his voice is soothing and sexy as hell.

(I made him give me directions multiple times just so I could listen to him talk).

I mean, I might be an Outsider,

but I am cleaning up his city

by ridding the streets and sewers

of hideously transformed citizens

and monstrous black magick beasts.

The least he could do is let me in

and let me have my way with him.

I've got a couple of things

to help---clear up his cough.

 

I have just recently started playing Bloodborne.

And thus far it has been sheer and total Hell.

We won't even talk about

how it took ten million deaths before

I even got past that first wicked werewolf

at the clinic library lounge.

We also won't talk about how

I had to fight the damn beast with my bare hands

because I could not, for the bleeding life of me, figure out how to equip my weapons.

I have never played a game where the supposed simple act

of enabling your gear was not intuitive.

Forget about just clicking them in the top most visible menu.

No. That'd be too easy.

So--after totally winging it and finally beating the werewolf from hell

and Still not having any weapons in my hands,

I broke down and went online to investigate--

only to discover that I have to go down into a fucking sub-menu,

add the chosen weapons to the 1st and 3rd boxes,

and then activate my saw-cleaver and pistol from there?

Seriously???

No wonder I was just using my bare hands.

Anyway--after I got past that fucking werewolf,

I strolled into Yharnam proper

and proceeded to die a billion more deaths.

I could Not even get down the first part of that street

without being chopped to pieces over and over

and over and over and over and over.

I am enjoying it though.

It's scary, dark and mysterious.

Also, the architecture is pleasing and the enemies are intelligent.

Still, after being destroyed at every turn,

I am learning how to navigate and fight better. And run.

I have learned how to run away really fast.

We'll see how it goes.

Again, this is all just the very beginning of the damn game.

I know it's going to get much worse.

Last night, I finally made it to the first boss---

The Cleric Beast.

And Jesus--it's a living screaming nightmare.

I probably won't get past it's abominable ass until January.

p.s.

I wonder if the guy at that first Pink Lamp is interested in maybe being my Romantic interest.

He seems to have a really bad cough but his voice is soothing and sexy as hell.

(I made him give me directions multiple times just so I could listen to him talk).

I mean, I might be an Outsider,

but I am cleaning up his city

by ridding the streets and sewers

of hideously transformed citizens

and monstrous black magick beasts.

The least he could do is let me in

and let me have my way with him.

I've got a couple of things

to help---clear up his cough.

Danger Room 80

Vincent is expected to medal in:

Spellcrafting

Levitation

Telekinesis

Golem construction

Psychic labyrinth

Electronic warfare

Handwriting analysis

Bowling

 

In a soft, breathlessly, excited announcer's voice:

Right now Vincent is going to attempt a 360 degree levitation spin

while releasing Gabriel fire onto 16 rotating targets placed around the football field.

6 of the targets will be hidden.

This exercise has a Level 42 Difficulty.

 

Vincent is sponsored by:

Arkansas Sports Association

ALDI

Aeon Flux Fan Club

Austin Merrick Fan Club

Martin Valko Fan Club

Lance Alexander Fan Club

Vic Hall Fan Club

Jarrod Scott Fan Club

Joakim Noah Fan Club

Jarvis Chandler Fan Club

Ty Roderick Fan Club

Tony Ward Fan Club

Ricky Sinz Fan Club

Drake Jaden Fan Club

Paul Carrigan Fan Club

Andres Risso Ran Club

Chubby Honeybear Club

Cocteau Twins Fan Club

Kirlian Camera Fan Club

Grace Jones Fan Club

Iain M. Banks Fan Club

Issabelle Huppert Fan Club

In Aisce Atelier

Sally's Beauty Supply

Skyscraper Page Forum

Black Men Can Do A Lot More Than Play Basketball Thank You Very Much Association

Blue Collar Men Association

Sexy Sicilian Men Association

Workin' Men

Chaos Men

Gemini Men

Gay Geeks Association

Avant Garde Aliens Association

Space Music Composers

Force Five Anime Productions

Fatal Frame Fotos

The Vampire Vittorio

Vampire Hunter D

Xavier Institute

University of Illinois Alumni

Unpublished Poets

Adult Literacy Program

Battle Royale Program

Black Cats Everywhere

Frou Frou Foxes In Midsummer Fires

Minotauro

Ivo

Donimo

Neo

Nigrum Solis Ordo

Namsiel

Illuminati

Operati

Otterley

Oomingmak Orbital

Vavatch Orbital

Chiark Orbital

The Mistake Not...

The Darkness

The Dreaming

The Dome Room

The Black Lodge

Polity War Drones

Project Pitchfork

Sony Playstation

Dieux De Stade

Delmonico's Gourmet Buffet

Crumb's Coffee Toffee Cupcake

Miss Que's Cross Country Club

Chicago Public Transit Authority

Cirque de la Lune Noire

Clan Ventrue

Cowboy Bebop

Afro Samurai

Assassin Zer0

Antelope

Abandoned Amusement Park Aficionados

Alcoholic's Anonymous

Low Self Esteem Equestrian Club

   

WARNING: Layers of wandering and fulgurating thoughts ahead.

I've been playing Firewatch the last few days.

What's Firewatch?

A game--a mystery interactive puzzle like game? Maybe?

(It just came out a few days ago

but I've been reading about it since early last year

and knew I wanted to check it out.)

You play as some guy named Henry who,

after some troubling times in his personal life,

takes a remote job as a fire lookout at a national park in Wyoming.

The year is 1989.

 

Your only source of communication is a walkie-talkie.

And the only person you talk to is this girl Delilah.

Well, she's not a girl. She's a woman--

and I think she might be like my boss.

Anyway-she's the occupant in the closest fire lookout tower to me--

which, I think is like 6.3 miles away.

Through binoculars, I can see her tower in the far distance--on top of some rocky crag.

But you never see her though.

You just talk.

And this talking--the random conversations--are what build (some of) the story.

I imagine many of you have quit reading by now--or stopped when you saw the word game.

But for the two of you that might still be reading this--

imagine me or yourself finding some long ago written note

in a lockbox

deep in the wild woods of Wyoming.

Imagine what you might imagine reading a strangers words.

Words that hint at something. Words don't quite make sense.

Would you hold or fold?

And that is just one of the aspects

that has pulled me into this game and it's story.

I'll give a few others real quick that could become posts of their owm:

1. The ambient, slightly country-esque, instrumental music.

2. The vast, gorgeous, empty landscapes.

3. The sky.

4. The wind.

So-I wont go into the slow building story--

the mysteries and suspense that unfold.

I haven't even finished the game yet.

But I knew yesterday while I was exploring the abandoned Arapahoe Camp

that I wanted to write something about what I was feeling--

how this game was more like life to me.

What might that be?

Here's one: Communication.

"But you're a Hermit Vincent," you say.

You don't like people and prefer solitary pursuits.

All true. I will agree.

But for the random stranger I might have to engage in the laundry room at midnight

pre-soaking his blood drenched bed sheets--

I'll need to know how to speak--up or out.

And speaking of speaking--

how you talk to Delilah affects the game.

You can lie, you can tell the truth,

you can be bitchy or funny.

You can sulk.

You can not say anything at all.

But I quickly noticed you have to pay attention to what she says too.

And you aren't given much time to reply to her.

Which makes me think how in real life I blurt out things I shouldn't say.

Or how I respond too quickly with anger and ruin a moment

--and possibly every moment after that.

So anyway--I have some suspicions about Ms. Delilah.

But I'll keep them to myself in case someone reading this might play the game.

I don't want my theories to cloud what dialogue you might choose.

But it's interesting how you have to work together with someone who you cannot see.

Whose only source of personality

is the words they feed you through a walkie-talkie.

I want to say a little more about this

but I'll just steer us into another set of layers:

Human Behavior and Mental Health.

The game subtly beats you over the head with both of these.

While consulting my map or compass (which I suck at by the way)

or while rappeling down a scree laden decline,

climbing rock faces with my bare hands,

stumbling through caves and canyons

or staring out from my tower across the smokey world,

I would think, could I really do this?

It's curious.

In real life, here in Chicago, I'm about to be inbetween jobs very soon.

Could I pick up sticks and go back to Wyoming to sit in a tower

cut off from civilization and diligently watch for fires??

The Hermit in me screams, "Hell freaking yeah boy!!

Stop playing and go get your lazy ass

to the nearest National Park Service and A-PPLY!!!"

But the Gatekeeper of Order in me says,

"Hell no. Most of those fires will probably be set

by some severely inebriated fool

puking up his stomach, terrorizing the giraffes and the deer,

and leaving his stupid garbage and cigarette butts everywhere.

I'd probably immediately lose all four millimeters of my temper

and drown his ass in the nearest body of water.

And actually this is something I--I mean Henry-

actually has to deal with in the game.

And I--I mean Henry--said some things

that actually bit me/him on the ass later.

Plus I absolutely despise hot weather

and this job would be during the damn summer.

So no--I suppose The Tower of Semi-Solitude

with Smokey the Bear as my imaginary bunkmate

is probably a no go.

"Only you can prevent forest fires."

And only you can prevent yourself from going stone crazy.

I might be better off being a lookout in Antarctica--

making sure polar bears and penguins don't get into any fights,

making sure all dog sled teams that pass through have the proper paperwork

and making sure the ice stays frozen.

But could my mind stand up to such a task?

Mental health sent Henry out to Wyoming

and mental health was stalking him in Wyoming.

And I don't think he realized it until he started seriously questioning

who was who

and what was going on around him.

"What the fuck is going on?!!,"

he and Delilah scream at each other--more than twice.

I scream those same words at myself almost every day.

Because--there is no fire.

(You know. It's an illusion!)

I have just recently started playing Bloodborne.

And thus far it has been sheer and total Hell.

We won't even talk about

how it took ten million deaths before

I even got past that first wicked werewolf

at the clinic library lounge.

We also won't talk about how

I had to fight the damn beast with my bare hands

because I could not, for the bleeding life of me, figure out how to equip my weapons.

I have never played a game where the supposed simple act

of enabling your gear was not intuitive.

Forget about just clicking them in the top most visible menu.

No. That'd be too easy.

So--after totally winging it and finally beating the werewolf from hell

and Still not having any weapons in my hands,

I broke down and went online to investigate--

only to discover that I have to go down into a fucking sub-menu,

add the chosen weapons to the 1st and 3rd boxes,

and then activate my saw-cleaver and pistol from there?

Seriously???

No wonder I was just using my bare hands.

Anyway--after I got past that fucking werewolf,

I strolled into Yharnam proper

and proceeded to die a billion more deaths.

I could Not even get down the first part of that street

without being chopped to pieces over and over

and over and over and over and over.

I am enjoying it though.

It's scary, dark and mysterious.

Also, the architecture is pleasing and the enemies are intelligent.

Still, after being destroyed at every turn,

I am learning how to navigate and fight better. And run.

I have learned how to run away really fast.

We'll see how it goes.

Again, this is all just the very beginning of the damn game.

I know it's going to get much worse.

Last night, I finally made it to the first boss---

The Cleric Beast.

And Jesus--it's a living screaming nightmare.

I probably won't get past it's abominable ass until January.

p.s.

I wonder if the guy at that first Pink Lamp is interested in maybe being my Romantic interest.

He seems to have a really bad cough but his voice is soothing and sexy as hell.

(I made him give me directions multiple times just so I could listen to him talk).

I mean, I might be an Outsider,

but I am cleaning up his city

by ridding the streets and sewers

of hideously transformed citizens

and monstrous black magick beasts.

The least he could do is let me in

and let me have my way with him.

I've got a couple of things

to help---clear up his cough.

Brennax Silash 8.

I'd say 97 percent of my SL images are variations of Vincent--of me--

what I wish I could look like or wear.

This particular image is not.

It's an homage to this sexy black guy I sometimes see on the Red Line after work.

He gets on at Lake and then gets off at Belmont.

The outfit in the picture is sort of what he had on the other day--

his face was scruffy too--which I always find sexy on guys.

But the hair here on his head isn't quite what his is like in person.

Actually, his hair is sort of like mine--curly and ringlet-like

except his is shorter and a dark golden brown color.

His probably doesn't get super tangled like mine though.

 

Anyway--I had the the pleasure

of having him slightly cramped against me on the train the other day.

He was faced away from me trying to hold on to the ceiling

so I was able to gaze at him unobstructed

through the glass of the door.

I don't know what color his eyes are--he had on tinted glasses or something.

But who cares about his eyes when he's got nice hair,

nice golden skin

and a nice smell to him. I can still smell him.

And his ass. He's got a nice ass.

 

Nice--really nice

(round, plump, firm and full) asses are a must.

I am a total ass man.

Such a dirty old man am I.

 

I wish I could actually photograph him.

But I never have the nerve to ask.

 

V.

 

He didn't have a compass around his neck either.

But if he's ever lost, he can come here and stay with me.

I'll take good care of him.

Show me that you understand me

You just see what you want to see

I don't think I can help you out

You don't know what it's all about.

 

The Girl and The Robot

---Röyksopp

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY

 

For me, I see this as way more than a denouncement of bullying.

So many other things are said here that really speak to me---of me.

The music's nice

but I need a better mirror.

 

V.

One in the spine.

Level 41 Soldier.

 

---

 

So six months later I have finished Borderlands1--for a second time.

I had no intention of replaying it again--

See crazed rants here: www.flickr.com/photos/vadrian7/8052818950/

And here: www.flickr.com/photos/vadrian7/8123731018/

But I decided to give it all a go again for the hell of it.

Well--not really for the hell of it.

I am sort of a completionist.

And ever since last October, it has been nagging me in the back of my head

that I never finished the Underdome and the two DLCs after that.

Actually, the nagging really picked up after I finished Borderlands 2 a couple of times.

 

So anyway, this past Saturday, I freaking finally beat that beastial Hell-Burbia arena!

It was an all day affair

but the insane triple overtime win by The Bulls gave me sustenance.

 

And I had a nail-biter of my own.

The last three waves of the 5th round that bitch Moxxie made it so I had NO SHIELD!!

I can handle zero/reduced gravity, or faster frenzied enemy hordes with stronger shields

or a Badass wave full of Bruisers using ridiculously accurate rocket launchers.

But THREE waves in a row where the additional "random" effect is No Shield??!!

I'm calling bullshit on that one.

To add insult to injury I had Baron Flynt and his Boom Stick as the final boss.

And that son-of-a-bitch aggressively hunts you too.

And when you have NO SHIELD--for the third exhausting time in a row--

it really is NO FUN.

Terrifying is more like it actually.

I thought I was going to have a baby that day.

I must have screamed, thrashed and fell over the couch into a near faint a thousand times.

But--Bulls be praised--I finally prevailed.

 

I started the Angel Ruins arena afterward--but really??

It's the same mind-numbing format as Hell-Burbia.

And these are only the small rounds.

Once you get through the initial five rounds each in Hell Burbia, Angel Ruins and The Gully

you re-do them all again but with TWENTY rounds each instead!

Hell to the fucking NOOOOO!!!

 

So with all that in mind, I feel quite justified in just moving on

to The Secret Armory of General Knox---at least it's an actual mission/story.

And my main goal in replaying Borderlands 1 all over again (including Jakobs Cove again)

was to redeem myself for corrupting my first game

and finally getting through the first Underdome arena--

which caused all of this chaos to begin with.

 

You may go in peace now.

And may the peace of God be with you.

Amen.

 

Vincent

  

p.s.

When I finish these next two Boderlands 1 dlcs,

I will go back to Borderlands 2 and begin Mr Torgue's Campaign of Carnage

and then move on to Sir Hammerlocks Big Game Hunt.

 

Pray for me.

 

Something sinister to it

Pendulum swinging slow, a degenerate moving

Through the city with criminals, stealth, welcome to enemy turf

Harder than immigrants work, "Golf" is stitched into my shirt

Get up off the pavement

Brush the dirt up off my psyche

Psyche, psyche

 

Too black for the white kids, and too white for the blacks

From honor roll to cracking locks up off them bicycle racks

I'm indecisive, I'm scatterbrained, and I'm frightened, it's evident

And them eyes where he hiding all them icicles at.

 

Chum

---Earl Sweatshirt

 

The Touch and The Darkness

Across A Thousand Blades

Nothing is like me.

You think you'll rule over me.

The riddle gets solved

And you push me up to

This state of emergency

 

How beautiful to be

State of emergency

Is where I want to be

 

Emotional landscapes

They puzzle me

The riddle gets solved

And you push me up to

This state of emergency

 

How beautiful to be

 

State of

Emergency.

 

Joga

---Bjork

Vadrian Eleven Beast

Not even night yet

but I think I've gone completely crazy.

 

Vincent

This is an older out take photo-sort of--just a place holder really.

Only reason I uploaded it is because I ended up with an odd number of pics

to upload in this batch-and needed to throw in another to make it even.

Oh well--this will ease me into the two new Borderlands pics I'm working on.

 

V.

 

(And after all this time, I'm seriously starting to think

that just maybe my shape is a little too big.

Sometimes some poses will throw my clothes or attachments off--

even when I have them at a larger size.

And/or I often spend way too much time modifying something to fit.

I don't want a little twinkie boy shape nor a huge muscular one.

I do like the one I usually wear-even if I have some issues--

but maybe this one is still a tad over the top.

damn.

As if I need to do anymore shopping around.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY

 

For me, I see this as way more than a denouncement of bullying.

So many other things are said here that really speak to me---of me.

The music's nice

but I need a better mirror.

 

V.

 

Maybe it's a sign of weakness, when I don't know what to say

Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway

 

We Belong

---Pat Benatar

 

Yes, I have a Pat Benatar playlist as well.

I used to love Love Is A Battlefield

and We Belong. I think those came out when we lived in Germany.

Also, I love Heartbreaker, Invincible and her version of Wuthering Heights

but my favorite song by her is Don't Walk Away.

I know she stresses that I won't be alone

but I always seem to find myself that way.

 

V.

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