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The fucking impossible, ridiculous, storm riding, Nameless King is one of the hardest bosses I have ever fought in a game.
It's a miracle my controller still works since I have thrown into the floor so many times.
It's stupid of me, I know. I know.
It's how I broke my PS3 controller two or three years ago.
It's how I corrupted my Borderlands 2 game.
I just go into these rages.
So many times during this game I have stood up and screamed at the top of my lungs and then lunged at the Playstation wanting to rip it from the tv
and throw it with full fucking force into the wall.
I--Jesus--my blood pressure is going up just writing this.
Anyway--back to that damn king without a name.
Have I said I hated him yet?
I hate him.
And he's an optional boss!!
Optional my black ass.
He was a complete and blessed nightmare.
I thought that piece of shit Pontiff Sulyvahn was bad.
I thought Aldrich and his god damned arrows were bad.
Noooo.
And as absolutely infuriating as those motherfuckers were
(I won't even embarrass myself telling you how many Embers I lost fighting and dying to those bitches over and over)
they were nothing at all compared to the Nameless King.
I fucking HATE him.
And even after I finally beat his bitch ass--
which just happened yesterday--
and which took well over a week
(at countless times a pop)--
I still hate him.
I seriously close my eyes and cringe at the thought of NG+.
Sloppy, mincing, eyedropping, biopsy.
Cyclops overlooks optic options.
Rotten, showstopper, skinpopper.
Babbler dabbler.
Self confessed criminal.
Instincts evolve
Over and over.
Wasted views
That's all they see, blue
Hot blood
Guilt
Optic nerve.
With the right attitude
You will succeed, blue
Self abusive recluse
Too late for me.
With your eyes open
You know soft spoken changes nothing.
A view so cruel.
Worlock
---Skinny Puppy
----
I can(and have) dance to anything by them---
because I am often that weird creepy dancer in the dark corner of a dancefloor.
I even still dance to Mirror Saw--which I think might be one of my most favorite Skinny Puppy songs.
But I have to admit Worlock isn't the best Skinny Puppy song to dance to.
That honor goes to Spasmolytic, Sleeping Beast, Smothered Hope,
Process, Death or Assimilate (R23).
Whenever the dj would play Worlock (at the club I used to go to back in the early 90s),
he would drop the giant projection screen over the huge wall mirror that lined the dance floor
and also play the accompanying video.
A lot of us would just line up in front of the video screen like disciples
and then lurch about like zombies while being splattered with gore.
Anyway---the first several seconds of the keyboard intro
has always been one of my favorite parts of this song--
Ominous.
Sinister.
Wicked.
And then the screaming at the end---to the end.
That poor victim looking upside down
at killing numbers going up.
Agony.
And then Death.
Vincent
*
The elevator goes down:
Basement
Maintenance
Level Negative 2
I was very very late
to the Mass Effect Party.
Several years ago someone highly recommended it to me,
after being highly astonished that I had never played it.
Anyway--I didn't play it then.
Years later, a second time,
another fellow gamer's mouth hit the floor
when I said I hadn't played Mass Effect.
The third strike was a couple of months ago
when yet another person/gamer friend
lost his shit when I admitted I still had not played
any Mass Effect games.
After that blow up--I finally broke down
and bought the games--
to see what all this fuss was about.
Well, I've played the whole trilogy now
(I actually had to play the second and third game twice--
and not by choice).
My essay on the whole Mass Effect trilogy experience
will be saved for another time.
I just wanted an image--though it's not a great one
(not sure why the blue electricity lines
are not showing up on the spacesuit)
to document my romantic interest: Kaidan.
As much as I hated driving that fucking tank thing around,
I am considering playing the first game again
and not as a Vanguard as I did(like an idiot)--
and which, actually, I had no business doing
because I did not know WHAT I was doing.
Still, with that in mind--though I didn't know anything about having a love interest at the time-
in the first game I saved Kaidan---and let Ashely die.
And like I said, at the time,
I didn't know anything really about love interests/possible romance partners.
I just knew I was sick of Ashley's arrogant ass.
She was annoying me to death(and she killed Wrex).
So I sent her to hers.
I'm being harsh--
Yes, I was sick of her
but I admit I was frozen when that part happened
because I didn't know what to do--
and I had never played a game
where I had to make an extreme choice like that.
But I guess it was also kind of easy because I was right there near Kaidan's fine ass
as he was squatting down by the bomb diligently diffusing it.
So that was all a little fucked up.
And later when Kaidan asked why I had saved him--
I answered all brusque and tough and shit--or something.
I didn't realize I could have said something sweet to him
and then put some medi-gel on my joystick
and loved him down.
Ok--you couldn't have done that.
And the third gamer friend
told me I can't romance him in the first game anyway--
or the second one-which I found out when he dissed me
on Eden Prime--
or whatever fucking planet that was.
Still, I'm willing to play that first game again
to switch up my dialogue a little with him.
And just play as a soldier--
because playing as Vanguard was too hard--
well, it may not be hard now
as I've done all three games and got the feel of it now.
First game I was a Vanguard--like a dumb ass.
Second game I was a Soldier
and the third game I played as a Sentinel.
But in the first game I took Kaidan with me
on practically all my missions.
I'm not sure how I ended up with Garrus and Liara
in that final fight at the end.
Anyway--again--this little generic pic is sort of a place holder for Kaidan Alenko--
and who I finally got to fuck in the third game.
Before that, I was always in his grill--
stalking him in the Starboard Observatory--
but he always had a report to finish or some other nonsense.
I'm the captain for crying out loud!
Come up to my cabin now and service me Kaidan--
and bring Joker--
and Donnelly from Engineering.
(I wanted to romance Joker too--
but he was not an available option).
Anyway.
I did like Kaidan a lot
and always kept him close.
Plus it was pretty hot
to be a badass soldier
and captain of a badass starship
AND have one of your very capable squadmates/teammates--
particularly the handsome dark haired major
with the biotic bubble butt--
be your boyfriend/fucktoy.
I'm all in for that.
Sign me up to be the captain
of a sleek black space ship full of
handsome, masculine, sexy, serious, scruffy soldiers,
engineers, mechanics and pilots.
Never thought I'd say this
but, as great as the base game is,
the romance shit made the game even more interesting.
Soo--as you can see--
I kind of took Kaidan seriously--
thinking about him when I wasn't playing--
wondering if he missed me
when I logged out to go the grocery store
or when I went to work.
I'll probably do a better darker version of Kaidan later.
This one is a little on the fluffy and colorful side.
And, in the meantime,
I guess I will continue to gape at
and lust over real life models
and porn actors who remind me of him.
Sad. I know.
I need to get a life---
and a real boyfriend.
I have been playing The Witness.
And, while enjoying the scenery and wandering around a bit,
have mostly been banging my dumb head
against the aggravating puzzles.
While I am glad someone finally made a great (console)(spiritual) successor to Myst and Obsidian,
I am not pleased to discover I that I am not very bright.
I'm not even that far into the game
and there have already been two locations where I could not even begin the section
because I couldn't even figure out the first damn puzzle.
And since the puzzles
(at least the ones I've come across so far)
are mostly sequential, you have to figure out the
key/pattern that will help you progress
and unlock the cable to the next puzzle.
Sounds simple doesn't it?
Well, it's anything but that.
What, for the love of God,
do the squares inside the squares mean??
I can't figure that one out and it's shown up again
when I peeked into another area.
So far I've completed the entry garden,
the little bunker outside the garden,
that symmetry/boat house area,
the desert ruins area
(except for puzzle that opens the bunker door by the sea)
the pink orchard,
and the two puzzle installations before the pink orchard.
Now that I'm writing this I think I've only activated two lasers.
Oh--I did get the windmill going--
which I noticed has a puzzle on it's face
and which I'm sure will haunt me later-
but that area underneath with the video--is bizarre.
I wasn't able to solve any of those puzzles.
I did solve two puzzles in--shit-
I don't where or what the area is called
but--whatever--I've stopped playing for now.
I would sit there after work staring at the screen so long
trying to figure out a pattern/path
and would eventually feel what energy I had left
just fade right out of me.
I kept nodding out.
So I bought Call of Duty: Black Ops III.
I'll be battling rouge operatives
and storming enemy camps in Singapore at night.
And during the day (on the weekends)
I'll wrestle with The Witness--
on the island of mind bending puzzles--
since I'll be armed with fresh coffee
and a clear head from a full night's sleep.
See I'm not walkin' on it
Or tryin to run around it
This ain't no acrobatics
You either follow or you lead,
Yeah I'm talkin' bout you,
I'll keep on blaming the machine,
Yeah I'm talkin' bout it,
T-t-t-talkin' bout it
I can't complain about it
I gotta keep my balance
And just keep dancin on it
We gettin funky on the scene
Yeah you know about it
Like a star on the screen
Watch me tip all on it
You gotta keep your balance
Or you fall into the gap
It's a challenge
But I manage
Cause I'm cautious with the strap
Some callin' me a sinner
Some callin' me a winner
I'm callin' you to dinner
And you know exactly what I mean,
Yeah I'm talkin' bout you
You can rock or you can leave
Watch me tip without you
Now whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
Whether I'm high or low
(High or low)
I'm gonna tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
(Happy Birthday)
Tightrope
---Janelle Monae
*
The Happy Birthdays at the end
are the best part of the song to me.
Ya'll don't mind.
We can see our chaos in motion.
You are chaos in motion.
In The Kingdom of the Blind The One-Eyed Are Kings
---Dead Can Dance
WARNING: Layers of wandering and fulgurating thoughts ahead.
I've been playing Firewatch the last few days.
What's Firewatch?
A game--a mystery interactive puzzle like game? Maybe?
(It just came out a few days ago
but I've been reading about it since early last year
and knew I wanted to check it out.)
You play as some guy named Henry who,
after some troubling times in his personal life,
takes a remote job as a fire lookout at a national park in Wyoming.
The year is 1989.
Your only source of communication is a walkie-talkie.
And the only person you talk to is this girl Delilah.
Well, she's not a girl. She's a woman--
and I think she might be like my boss.
Anyway-she's the occupant in the closest fire lookout tower to me--
which, I think is like 6.3 miles away.
Through binoculars, I can see her tower in the far distance--on top of some rocky crag.
But you never see her though.
You just talk.
And this talking--the random conversations--are what build (some of) the story.
I imagine many of you have quit reading by now--or stopped when you saw the word game.
But for the two of you that might still be reading this--
imagine me or yourself finding some long ago written note
in a lockbox
deep in the wild woods of Wyoming.
Imagine what you might imagine reading a strangers words.
Words that hint at something. Words don't quite make sense.
Would you hold or fold?
And that is just one of the aspects
that has pulled me into this game and it's story.
I'll give a few others real quick that could become posts of their owm:
1. The ambient, slightly country-esque, instrumental music.
2. The vast, gorgeous, empty landscapes.
3. The sky.
4. The wind.
So-I wont go into the slow building story--
the mysteries and suspense that unfold.
I haven't even finished the game yet.
But I knew yesterday while I was exploring the abandoned Arapahoe Camp
that I wanted to write something about what I was feeling--
how this game was more like life to me.
What might that be?
Here's one: Communication.
"But you're a Hermit Vincent," you say.
You don't like people and prefer solitary pursuits.
All true. I will agree.
But for the random stranger I might have to engage in the laundry room at midnight
pre-soaking his blood drenched bed sheets--
I'll need to know how to speak--up or out.
And speaking of speaking--
how you talk to Delilah affects the game.
You can lie, you can tell the truth,
you can be bitchy or funny.
You can sulk.
You can not say anything at all.
But I quickly noticed you have to pay attention to what she says too.
And you aren't given much time to reply to her.
Which makes me think how in real life I blurt out things I shouldn't say.
Or how I respond too quickly with anger and ruin a moment
--and possibly every moment after that.
So anyway--I have some suspicions about Ms. Delilah.
But I'll keep them to myself in case someone reading this might play the game.
I don't want my theories to cloud what dialogue you might choose.
But it's interesting how you have to work together with someone who you cannot see.
Whose only source of personality
is the words they feed you through a walkie-talkie.
I want to say a little more about this
but I'll just steer us into another set of layers:
Human Behavior and Mental Health.
The game subtly beats you over the head with both of these.
While consulting my map or compass (which I suck at by the way)
or while rappeling down a scree laden decline,
climbing rock faces with my bare hands,
stumbling through caves and canyons
or staring out from my tower across the smokey world,
I would think, could I really do this?
It's curious.
In real life, here in Chicago, I'm about to be inbetween jobs very soon.
Could I pick up sticks and go back to Wyoming to sit in a tower
cut off from civilization and diligently watch for fires??
The Hermit in me screams, "Hell freaking yeah boy!!
Stop playing and go get your lazy ass
to the nearest National Park Service and A-PPLY!!!"
But the Gatekeeper of Order in me says,
"Hell no. Most of those fires will probably be set
by some severely inebriated fool
puking up his stomach, terrorizing the giraffes, the dinosaurs and the deer,
and leaving his stupid garbage and cigarette butts everywhere.
I'd probably immediately lose all four millimeters of my temper
and drown his dumb
ass in the nearest body of water.
And actually this is something I--I mean Henry-actually has to deal with in the game.
And Henry--says some things
that actually bite him on the ass later.
Watch your frequency.
Watch your fire.
But I absolutely despise hot weather
and this job would be during the damn summer.
So no--I suppose The Tower of Semi-Solitude
with Smokey the Bear as my imaginary bunkmate
is probably a no go.
"Only you can prevent forest fires."
And only you can prevent yourself from going stone crazy.
I might be better off being a lookout in Greenland or Antarctica--
making sure polar bears, panthers,
piglets and penguins don't get into any brawls.
Making sure all dog sled teams that pass through have the proper paperwork.
And just making sure that the ice stays frozen.
But could my mind stand up to such a task?
The task of confronting yourself.
You're not just observing nature.
You're observing You.
Mental health sent Henry out to Wyoming
and mental health stalks him in Wyoming.
And I don't think he realized it until he started seriously wondering
who was who
and questioning the weirdness happening around him.
"What the fuck is going on?!!,"
he and Delilah scream at each other--more than twice.
I scream those same words at myself almost every day.
Because--there is no fire.
(You know. It's an illusion!)
I know everyone has been beside themselves wondering how I've been doing in Bloodborne.
Well, let's just say--I've been doing a lot of dying.
And screaming.
Lots of screaming, standing up, stomping
and spinning around and falling back on the couch
in a trembling rage. This game is fucking hard.
Forget the frenzies, slow poisons, and lack of blood vials. Where's a compass when you need one?
I keep getting lost in the Nightmare Frontier
and the Unseen Village.
And the area enemies and bosses keep getting harder, stronger and more erratic.
Damn that Amygdala---
who I have not been able to beat yet.
But I also thought I'd never beat Father Gascgione
or Rom The Spider.
Oh--and can we talk about the Forbidden Woods?
I fucking HATE snakes. I cannot stand the sight of them.
I am deathly afraid of them.
And those fucking Forbidden Woods were filled with nasty, aggressive, evil snakes--balls of snakes, walking snakes
and Shadow of Yharman Snakes.
That entire part of the game was absolutely horrific for me. Seriously. It was scary and disgusting as all hell--
and just plain torture. And exhausting.
The Forbidden Woods was/is a long/large map
and I had to do all kinds of shit to (finally) clear that entire area. I could barely get through it.
Anyway--just today--after an eternity of deaths and labyrinths, I Finally (fought my way to and) found the fucking key
that lets me into the Upper Cathedral Ward. Jesus Christ!
It was utter hell.
And who killed all the people I sent to the church??
Safe haven my black ass.
What's more terrifying is that I think I am probably not even halfway through the game yet.
Or maybe I am. I don't know.
But what the fuck is up with Eileen??
Why did she try to kill me??
And her crow feathered ass called me crazy???
I know everyone has been beside themselves wondering how I've been doing in Bloodborne. Well, let's just say--I've been doing a lot of dying. And screaming.
Lots of screaming, standing up, stomping
and spinning around and falling back on the couch
in a trembling rage. This game is fucking hard.
Forget the frenzies, slow poisons, and lack of blood vials. Where's a compass when you need one?
I keep getting lost in the Nightmare Frontier
and the Unseen Village.
And the area enemies and bosses keep getting harder, stronger and more erratic.
Damn that Amygdala---
who I have not been able to beat yet.
But I also thought I'd never beat Father Gascgione
or Rom The Spider.
Oh--and can we talk about the Forbidden Woods?
I fucking HATE snakes. I cannot stand the sight of them.
I am deathly afraid of them.
And those fucking Forbidden Woods were filled with nasty, aggressive, evil snakes--balls of snakes, walking snakes
and Shadow of Yharman Snakes.
That entire part of the game was absolutely horrific for me. Seriously. It was scary and disgusting as all hell--
and just plain torture. And exhausting.
The Forbidden Woods was/is a long/large map
and I had to do all kinds of shit to (finally) clear that entire area. I could barely get through it.
Anyway--just today--after an eternity of deaths and labyrinths, I Finally (fought my way to and) found the fucking key
that lets me into the Upper Cathedral Ward. Jesus Christ!
It was utter hell.
And who killed all the people I sent to the church??
Safe haven my black ass.
What's more terrifying is that I think I am probably not even halfway through the game yet.
Or maybe I am. I don't know.
But what the fuck is up with Eileen??
Why did she try to kill me??
And her crow feathered ass called me crazy???