It's not there

It's not fair

You don't know

You don't care.

Superblast!

---Lush

So now alone

I find out your heart is stone

A helping hand

There is none from where I stand

Tell me what I'm doing here

Tell me what I'm doing here

If all I ever wanted wasn't good for you

If the things that I said, they just weren't true

Then don't restrain from telling me

That all this pain is good for me

I can see you looking down to keep away from me

But I'm stuck with this lack of ability

I can't refrain from coming here

Because it's pain

You're so sincere

Ascend

What am I doing here?!

I must ascend!

Ascend!!

Ascend

---Nitzer Ebb

Prince of Culture

59

Holy Blade +9.

Bloodborne.

3141510

3141520

I am finally playing Little Big Planet after it was suggested to me four years ago.

I turned my nose up at it then actually.

Give me zombies, vampires, sci-fi and shoot 'em ups.

Give me the apocalypse.

Give me darkness---

not some silly sackboy that looks like a turd running through la-la land.

Well, fast forward four years--and here I am in love with my used Game of The Year edition.

I positively love the bare violin/viola strings at the beginning of The Garden level

(I would just stand there to listen to it over and over).

And I have to admit that I even love that Spanish song in The Wedding level.

I'll probably have to create a LBP playlist for my Zune--if it's possible.

Anyway--I was kind of breezing through it all, having a gay old time and whatnot.

But then I finally hit a brick wall in The Collector's bunker.

That fucking wheel at the end is making me want to kill myself!!!

Over and over and over and over and over I die on that blessed wheel--

only to have to replay the entire level again

and then die over and over and over and over again.

And repeat x1,000,000.

Fuck me!!!!!!!!!!

I needed a break and I can't afford to throw my controller at the wall again.

So far it's been like three days since I screamed and thrashed on my couch last.

Fucking wheel.

Fuck wheels.

And fuck electrically charged pieces of chalk--

or whatever the fuck they are.

My sackboy is so sad.

All he wants to do is play.

Vincent

p.s.

I'll probably end up doing another version of this image actually.

There are a lot of mistakes here.

I tried my best to clean them up but it was already 2am

and I should have already been in my Little Big Bed.

My Little Big Black Bed.

I should just start uploading images as is.

But sometimes when you do that

it's just a Little Big Boring Planet.

---

Update 9/17/12:

After a little hunting and pecking,

a LBP playlist has been created on my Zune.

Two of them actually.

One with the level themes

and the other with the actual songs.

Volver a Comenzar, Tapha Niang and Song 2 are the Little Big Bombs.

Love 'em.

"Dulce tentación"

---

Update 9/19/12:

Little Big Planet is now complete.

Fucking wheel.

So after about another hour or two of dying over and over on that wheel

I finally managed to make it to the end.

Hell, I was happy to even make it to those last few platforms

but I kept mis-timing jumps--or not being able to jump at all

(Am I the only idiot who Contstantly activates the Pop-It menu when I jump???

Jesus, Mary and Joseph---I fucking cannot stannnd that.)

A few times I was right at the last jump--almost at the Arrow exit out--and would then lose it,

and fall--into some electrified chalk.

Once, when I almost made it out/off but died, I just shook and screamed like a banshee.

Another time, I slammed my head back

against the brick bookcase behind my couch and convulsed.

And another time after that, while contorted like The Hulk being squeezed to death,

I bellowed at the top of my lungs, "God Damnit!!!!!!!!!"

Actually I said, "Gott Dammitt!!!!"

and then slammed my controller down

only to almost pee my pants when I realized I had slammed it down onto my phone.

Thank "Gott" neither of them broke.

So--anyway--I made it out finally.

And stupid me thought, assumed--had hoped and prayed--that that last drop out

was really the last one and that I would just land on the Level Exit Pad--

that I would get my score, the cheers and confetti and be done.

But no. Oh hell to the no.

After ALLLLLL that, these evil fucks drop you down onto yet ANOTHER conveyor belt---

that is moving faster than the other ones I had died on earlier.

Was it going backwards too? I can't even remember now.

But still, what ridiculously fast conveyor belt going backwards could be considered complete

without more electrified chalk to slam down on top of you?

I think this is when I just started crying.

But somehow with tears in my eyes, snot running out my nose,

and blood oozing from my beneath my fingernails

I managed to get through that last gauntlet--without having to re-do the entire level again.

And you know what?

Fighting The Collector was CAKE compared to that monkey ass wheel.

I don't care what anybody says.

"I knew you'd save us."

My ass you did.

My Little Big Black Ass you knew.

So I'm done.

Right now, I don't care to go back and replay the levels

or find any more marbles, meerkats or mechanics.

You can keep your stickers Sackboy.

Borderlands 2 is out now

and I have new deaths to die.

Vincent

But I don't know why he swallowed the fly.

I guess he'll die.

--

My brother and I had this song on a 45 when we were little boys.

We would play it on our Winnie The Pooh record player

and giggle while singing along.

Though there was a creepy chain reaction of consumption going on,

we weren't really that grossed out.

The melody was light and the singer had a nice friendly voice.

I used to know to the whole song by heart

but I haven't sung it since I was like six or seven.

I'll have to see if I can find it online but I can't remember the artist.

There might have been a booklet that came with it--with a drawing or two--or not.

Or maybe it was just in that ridiculous thin tissue paper sleeve they put 45s in back then.

Acatually, I think there was a whole set of drawings that came with our record.

--

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse!

She's dead, of course.

:)

--

Hmm.

I bet if I sit still and think long enough,

the whole song will come back to me.

Sort of strange how it popped in my head when I took this photo.

Wriggling, wriggling and tickling inside me.

Vincent

p.s.

I have since discovered there are tons of others versions of this song.

I had no idea.

All this time, I thought the version I know from childhood was the only one.

Well, apparently, the song was first published/recorded in like 1969 or so.

And I was born in '71---

so who knows how many covers have been recorded since then.

I did spend one afternoon online trying to find the one version I knew

but never came across it.

Oh well.

I'll give it a go another time.

I don't have any kids but if I did

I'd play this for them.

Scare the shit of them a little.

The are no lyrics to the song

but this was inspired/named after the epic Sonnenwalzer by Triarii.

All the good ones end too soon.

I wish it were thirty minutes long instead of three.

Regardless, play at maximum volume.

---

Tarot Card; The Sun

Tarot Card: The Emperor

Tarot Card: The Magician

Tarot Card: Lord of Discs

Tarot Card: Hermit of Darkness

Tarot Card: Vincent

006

I have just recently started playing Bloodborne.

And thus far it has been sheer and total Hell.

We won't even talk about

how it took ten million deaths before

I even got past that first wicked werewolf

at the clinic library lounge.

We also won't talk about how

I had to fight the damn beast with my bare hands

because I could not, for the bleeding life of me, figure out how to equip my weapons.

I have never played a game where the supposed simple act

of enabling your gear was not intuitive.

Forget about just clicking them in the top most visible menu.

No. That'd be too easy.

So--after totally winging it and finally beating the werewolf from hell

and Still not having any weapons in my hands,

I broke down and went online to investigate--

only to discover that I have to go down into a fucking sub-menu,

add the chosen weapons to the 1st and 3rd boxes,

and then activate my saw-cleaver and pistol from there?

Seriously???

No wonder I was just using my bare hands.

Anyway--after I got past that fucking werewolf,

I strolled into Yharnam proper

and proceeded to die a billion more deaths.

I could Not even get down the first part of that street

without being chopped to pieces over and over

and over and over and over and over.

I am enjoying it though.

It's scary, dark and mysterious.

Also, the architecture is pleasing and the enemies are intelligent.

Still, after being destroyed at every turn,

I am learning how to navigate and fight better. And run.

I have learned how to run away really fast.

We'll see how it goes.

Again, this is all just the very beginning of the damn game.

I know it's going to get much worse.

Last night, I finally made it to the first boss---

The Cleric Beast.

And Jesus--it's a living screaming nightmare.

I probably won't get past it's abominable ass until January.

p.s.

I wonder if the guy at that first Pink Lamp is interested in maybe being my Romantic interest.

He seems to have a really bad cough but his voice is soothing and sexy as hell.

(I made him give me directions multiple times just so I could listen to him talk).

I mean, I might be an Outsider,

but I am cleaning up his city

by ridding the streets and sewers

of hideously transformed citizens

and monstrous black magick beasts.

The least he could do is let me in

and let me have my way with him.

I've got a couple of things

to help---clear up his cough.

for Dr. Joseph Stack

3141514

One pill makes you larger

And one pill makes you small

And the ones that mother gives you

Don't do anything at all

Go ask Alice, when she was just small

And if you go chasing rabbits

And you know you're going to fall

Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar

Has given you the call

Call Alice, when she's ten feet tall

When the men on the chessboard get up

And tell you where to go

And you've just had some kind of mushroom

And your mind is moving low

Go ask Alice,

I think she'll know

When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead

And the white knight is talking backwards

And the red queen's lost her head

Remember what the doormouse said,

“Feed your head, feed your head!”

White Rabbit

---Mephisto Walz

And now that there's nothing left

Just a hole above our heads

Letting the sun shine in

That's how the end begins

In a forest fire.

Forest Fire

---The Dream Academy

Don't you get tired of the show

The kissin' ass of all the people that you wanna know

When I was young I thought you had it won

I saw you on TV you made life look fun

But then years go by and people grow

I realize it's all a freak show

But then there're girls like me

Who sit appalled by what we've seen

We know the truth about you

Now you're the prince of all the magazines

That is a dangerous thing

Now would they love you

If they knew all the things that we know?

Those golden boys are all a fraud

Don't believe their show

Now would they love you

If they knew all the things that we know

Golden boy

Life ain't a video

Golden Boys

---Res

You're a foooool!

I am less than you

Less than love

Less than hate

And less than pain

I am less than birth

Less than death

I am not even here

Ain’t got no name

I never was

And never will be

‘Cause there exists

No time for me

I am nil

No colors – no form

Nothing is like me

I want to be

I am endless

Like the space

Between your thoughts

I expand into nothing

And my tears

Turn into stars

Nil

---Project Pitchfork

"I never was. And I never will be."

and

"Nothing is like me."

are my two most favorite lines.

Vincent is most certainly Nil.

Rain is actually my favorite track off this album

(Acid Ocean may be in third place now. Storm Flower is fourth).

But I do love Nil (second place now)

and I think it suits this image--kind of/sort of--

perhaps I should have gone more sci-fi/ethereal/dark.

I'm still not sure if I like the smile on the mask though--

maybe I should have found a more melancholy one.

And I wish you could see my halo better.

Oh well.

This looks better larger btw.

I probably shouldn't have cropped the original

but I can never seem to keep myself from tinkering.

---

Entity--is still coming.

I have not forgotten.

Such a epic song deserves an epic image---

just don't know how well I can create one on my current computer.

Here I come.

V.

10

For my Zero assassin.

No one kills me like you do.

V.

46

I have been playing The Witness.

And, while enjoying the scenery and wandering around a bit,

have mostly been banging my dumb head

against the aggravating puzzles.

While I am glad someone finally made a great (console)(spiritual) successor to Myst and Obsidian,

I am not pleased to discover I that I am not very bright.

I'm not even that far into the game

and there have already been two locations where I could not even begin the section

because I couldn't even figure out the first damn puzzle.

And since the puzzles

(at least the ones I've come across so far)

are mostly sequential, you have to figure out the

key/pattern that will help you progress

and unlock the cable to the next puzzle.

Sounds simple doesn't it?

Well, it's anything but that.

What, for the love of God,

do the squares inside the squares mean??

I can't figure that one out and it's shown up again

when I peeked into another area.

So far I've completed the entry garden,

the little bunker outside the garden,

that symmetry/boat house area,

the desert ruins area

(except for puzzle that opens the bunker door by the sea)

the pink orchard,

and the two puzzle installations before the pink orchard.

Now that I'm writing this I think I've only activated two lasers.

Oh--I did get the windmill going--

which I noticed has a puzzle on it's face

and which I'm sure will haunt me later-

but that area underneath with the video--is bizarre.

I wasn't able to solve any of those puzzles.

I did solve two puzzles in--shit-

I don't where or what the area is called

but--whatever--I've stopped playing for now.

I would sit there after work staring at the screen so long

trying to figure out a pattern/path

and would eventually feel what energy I had left

just fade right out of me.

I kept nodding out.

So I bought Call of Duty: Black Ops III.

I'll be battling rouge operatives

and storming enemy camps in Singapore at night.

And during the day (on the weekends)

I'll wrestle with The Witness--

on the island of mind bending puzzles--

since I'll be armed with fresh coffee

and a clear head from a full night's sleep.

Dominus Virtus 61.

79

The Malkavian Minotaur of Madrid----

or Moscow

or Munich

or Milan

or Manchester

or Manila

or Melbourne

or Montreal

or Montpelier

or Minneapolis

or Memphis

or Mexico City

or Montevedio

or Mota Lava

or Main Duck Island.

18

Everytime you put this mask on your face

A little piece of your soul dies away

The figure in the mirror's not me

A different reality

Just a picture that you see

From my true self, I flee

I change myself to fit the needs

During this mutation my heart bleeds

Trying to adjust to society

Not anymore, I want to be free

Figure in the mirror's not me

A different reality

It's just a picture that you see

From my true self, I do flee.

Figure In The Mirror

---L'ame Immortelle