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Author's Note: The contents of this chapter include very sensitive subject matter and may be triggering to some individuals. Scenes of abuse of various forms are represented as not only for storytelling, but to raise awareness of what this behavior looks like. Abusive behavior in this story includes, but is not limited to: physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, intentional triggering of another's PTSD, and trauma. In no way are these scenes intended to purposely trigger or harm anyone.
...
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Vincent! Are you home?!"
Aiden was jolted awake by an offending loud noise coming from the front door of Vincent's flat. With an unhappy groan, Aiden sat up and pressed his face into his palms. He didn't feel very rested at all! What time was it?
From the next room over Bernadette came peeking out as Aiden was already making his way groggily towards the door to answer it. Before he could unlatch it, the knocking came loudly again and caused Aiden to scowl at the door. Glancing towards the clock, he saw he'd barely slept four hours!
"Hold on!" he grumbled loudly through the door as he began unlocking it. When the lock was undone, he pulled open the door to glare grumpily at whoever was on the other side. He was met with an astonished Damien staring back at him as if he couldn't believe his eyes.
And that was EXACTLY how Damien felt! Here he was in the late morning visiting his best friend's home to see if he was there to find their very sleepy and disheveled engineer answering the door! And with how long Vincent had been missing? Was Vincent here?! What was going on?
"What the Hell? What are YOU doing here?!"
Aiden frowned a bit deeper and took a step back to reluctantly allow the man inside. "Shh!" he hissed and motioned Damien in. As soon as Damien was inside, Aiden shut and locked the door while Damien looked around worriedly. Then he blinked in surprise as he realized they were not alone.
"Bernadette!"
Damien looked between the two of them with wide eyes and things suddenly began clicking into place. He knew who and what Bernadette was and if she AND Aiden were here...
Before either of them could speak again, Damien began to make his way into Vincent's room with hasty determination. Behind him, Aiden said, "Damien, wait!" Bernadette darted out of the way as Damien marched past. With a slight frown, she then followed in behind him with Aiden trailing behind her.
Damien's eyes widened as he stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the sight of his best friend laying there in bed. He was clearly ill and he was covered in bandages and bruises! Why had no one told him?! Why had no one come for him?! Vincent would have wanted him to know! The angry Damien turned to Aiden and unexpectedly grabbed his shirt and pushed him hard against the wall which caught Aiden off guard!
"What the fuck happened?!"
"Damien!"
Bernadette's exclamation was ignored by both men as Aiden clenched his teeth and grasped Damien's wrists and dug in with his fingers. He growled, "Let me go!" He could see that Damien was desperate for answers; he was scared obviously and perhaps angry as well that he hadn't been notified sooner. But right now, especially after last night, he was not in the mood to be messed with and had no qualms about punching Damien out! And right now the idea had merit!
"Let. Me. Go."
Damien seemed to think better of his actions and finally relented. His fingers let go of Aiden's shirt (to which Aiden released him as well) and they breathed angrily at each other. Beside them, Bernadette stared at them with a pale expression before she loudly let out the breath she was holding with every intention of letting them know how fed up she felt.
"Whatever you two decide to do, whether it be to talk or fight like childish imbeciles or whatever, take it outside! And don't either of you think for a second that Vincent would be very pleased with the two of you right now!" And on that note she turned to go to Vincent's side again, grumbling something about "bull-headed men."
Desperate for answers, Damien jerked his head and started to walk out towards the terrace. "Let's talk." And he said nothing else as he made his way outside to wait for Aiden.
Aiden glanced towards Bernadette who met his eyes with a loud exhale through her nose, indicating her frustration and attempts to not say anything else. Aiden remained where he was for a moment to quickly center himself. With a final glance to Bernadette, he held up his pinky with a wink to reassure her of his promise, then went to join Damien outside.
As soon as he stepped out there, Aiden was taken by surprise! Damien was turning towards him with an apologetic look as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Look, I'm sorry about snapping like that. I was worried! He's my best friend and after he disappeared yesterday?" His hands lowered and his whole body language implored Aiden to understand his plight. "And seeing him like THAT and you didn't offer any explanation? Well...you understand, right? I only had the best intentions."
Aiden wanted to be frustrated at Damien! He hadn't even had a chance to explain his side! But he really did understand; not that he wanted to right now. Feeling annoyed that he was deflating already, Aiden sighed softly and pushed the door shut behind him so they could have some privacy.
"I understand. It's fine, Damien."
Damien visibly relaxed a little more now that Aiden forgave him. He nodded to the younger man and folded his arms over his chest. He was more level and ready to actually listen this time.
"Tell me everything." he insisted.
And so Aiden did: starting from the moment Aiden had overheard his informant until Bernadette and he had closed Vincent's wounds (with several interruptions from Damien pressing him for more details). From there he completely skipped over his private discussion with Bernadette and said that he'd gone to sleep and was woken by Damien banging on the door.
Damien had stared at Aiden the entire time, wide-eyed as the details of the night came out. He was shocked to say the least! At first he couldn't seem to find any proper words! Finally he did.
"Are you mad?!"
"What?"
"You went there alone?! ALONE! You should have come to me! I could have helped you and he'd be back sooner and he wouldn't be laying there on his deathbed!"
And immediately Aiden felt guilty. Aiden had gone there alone with no help except Pete who was just a lantern. At the time he'd been desperate and determined to help Vincent and he hadn't thought it through. Aiden felt dread fill him and he looked down slightly. He really should have gone for help. Damien was right.
"God damn it, Aiden!" Damien growled as he turned away and ran his hands through his hair in a frustrating manner as he gazed up off in the distance. Aiden slowly looked up and felt the sting of tears behind his eyes as he fought them back.
"I'm sorry," he insisted. "I just-"
"Didn't think? Hmph! Sometimes I think, 'Maybe he isn't such a kid after all' but then you go and do a thing like this! Just like blowing your life savings on a stupid little lantern! You really thought that LANTERN was going to help you?! 'I' could have helped you!"
Aiden didn't even have a response. He just stood there feeling so guilty. Because of him, Vincent could have been dead right now. He should have gone to the peelers. Even taking Damien would have been wiser than going on his own. He should have been smarter. Faster. Anything. Aiden believed that Damien's anger was justified. He was right.
When Damien turned to look back at Aiden, he saw his face starting to crumble and was clearly about to cry! And sure enough, a couple of breaths later Aiden let out a small sob as tears slid down his reddening face.
'Well fuck,' Damien thought. He wanted to yell more at him but seeing Aiden tearing up made him feel uncomfortable. He didn't like it. Feeling a little disgusted with the whole situation, Damien finally sighed and approached him and set his hands on his shoulders as Aiden let out another small sob.
"C'mon kid, get a hold of yourself," he tried to console him in a somewhat encouraging tone. It was clear Damien was pushing himself to be nicer. "Obviously Bernadette got him fixed up and I'm here now. He's going to be fine now, okay? He's not going to let some fever take him after all that. Vincent's tougher than that!"
Aiden sniffled and glanced up to meet Damien's eyes and was surprisingly met with a small encouraging smile. Wiping his eyes, he sniffed once more and found himself smiling slightly as well. Damien's assistance would definitely be helpful even if he was a bit overbearing. Perhaps now Bernadette could finally get some rest.
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."
"Of course I am!"
Damien chuckled and patted his shoulder and started to head inside. Aiden smiled slightly more but it faded once the door closed behind Damien and he was left out on the terrace alone. He looked down at his hands and nibbled his lower lip as he felt confliction entering his thoughts. While he knew Damien was right, he still felt like he'd laid the guilt on a bit thick. Aiden HAD managed to return with Vincent after all! He was still alive because of him! Truth be told, a part of him still didn't regret his actions. He'd have to work through it later. Right now, what mattered was Vincent.
Deciding to brush it all off as Damien's intense worry for his best friend's safety, he tried not to let what was said get to him. When Aiden rejoined the other two in Vincent's bedroom, he was unsurprised to find Damien seated at Vincent's bedside and Bernadette sitting on the chaise. "So, what happens now?" Aiden asked aloud as he looked towards Bernadette, but it was Damien who responded.
"I say we take shifts. Bernadette is insisting on staying but she needs rest." He looked towards her meaningfully and she scowled at him with a huff before retorting, "He is my patient!"
"Of course he is, but you still need rest. You've been attending to him since last night."
"Then I will rest on the couch! I am not leaving until the fever breaks and he's stable!"
"So be it. However, Aiden, you should go back to the ship and get some real sleep."
"How can I sleep now? I'm awake and everyone I know is here! I don't want to go!"
Aiden didn't want to leave Vincent's side! After everything they had been through together thus far he wanted to stick it out to the end with him! He couldn't just stay aboard the ship waiting anxiously!
Bernadette had stood and walked over to Damien's side. Once the argument had reached this point, she gently placed her hand upon Damien's shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "He can stay in the other room and keep me company. Three sets of hands are better than two, Damien, and right now Vincent needs all the help he can get." Damien's eyes narrowed as he gazed up at her with a hint of opposition. "Fine," he finally said with a reluctant sigh.
There was a soft groan and all three pairs of eyes shifted to the man laying before them. Vincent was breathing harder and looked to be in pain. Bernadette glanced towards the clock then began nudging Damien to move.
"It's about that time," she said as she bolstered herself up and reached for more of her specially medicated tea. "He's due for more medicine. You say I need rest, but if I rest now, what then, hm? Do you know how to administer these medications so precisely? Depending on what it is, if you give him too much it could kill him."
"I would if you told me how."
"Hm, no. Better safe than sorry."
"There has to be something that I can do to help."
"Actually yes. Do you know what you can do?"
"What's that?"
"Go boil this."
And she handed him two large pieces of raw ginger. Across from them, Aiden actually snorted at how anticlimactic that had been. Damien looked down at the pieces of ginger in his hand then looked up at her skeptically at such an assignment.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"You want me to boil-?"
"Ginger is an important part of the antibacterial poultice I am using for his wounds and also for his medicine. So you need a small pot and do not dump the water. I will need it for later. I know it sounds so mediocre but it would be very helpful. Please? For Vincent?"
Damien quirked his mouth slightly and then gave a small nod. "Very well." Once his back faced her, he mouthed silently to himself and went to do as she asked.
Once Damien was out of earshot, Aiden approached Bernadette's side with a slight smirk. She glanced up at him with an innocent look and asked, "What? It's a legitimate chore that needs to be done. Eventually." Aiden could only chuckle which Bernadette joined in softly.
"He means well?" Bernadette sarcastically murmured aloud, reiterating her earlier comment about Damien. Aiden snorted and replied under his breath, "Hell is paved with good intentions."
"Indeed. But it is good to have an extra set of hands. Poor Vincent needs all the help he can get."
And then softly below them came a soft, hopeful voice that was barely a whisper: "Em-Emily...don't go..."
Bernadette gasped softly and looked down at Vincent who was gazing up at her with half open eyes. His fingers shifted as he tried to reach for her, so she reached out to touch his hand. She replied gently and with a hint of regret, "Oh, Vincent, no. It's me, Bernadette, your cousin."
"Bernie?"
"Mhm."
"Oh...sorry...I th-thought..."
"Shh, shh, shh...I know."
"Sorry."
"Don't be. It's okay. Sleep."
"Do I..have...to..?"
"Oh, sweetheart," Bernadette said sadly but Vincent was already passing back out; sleep feverishly taking him under once again. She sighed softly and began to wipe at his brow with a fresh, cool cloth.
Aiden's heart broke as he remembered just last week or so Vincent asking him the very same thing. Vincent didn't want to have to wake up to the same daily torment. Aiden felt the sudden urge to crawl into bed with Vincent and wrap him up in his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay and hold him until it was. Instead he stood there feeling a little sad and empty as he watched Vincent fall back into his fitful sleep.
"Who's Emily?"
Somehow Aiden already knew before he even asked but he felt compelled to ask anyway. Bernadette blinked at him then turned to glance over her shoulder to look at the small picture frame on Vincent's nightstand. She reached over and gently picked it up and looked at it for a long moment. Finally, she offered it to Aiden who took it.
"His wife. She's no longer with us. She-... she passed away a few years back during that plague, both her and the baby. It was really heartbreaking. Happened while he was still recovering from the explosion and all and he couldn't get home before they- well, you know. Don't tell him I said this but..." She took a deep breath and finally got her thoughts off her chest. "...it's the reason he drinks so heavily when he's home. I really wish he would just stick to the herb and abandon that wretched drink altogether!"
And echoing in his memory Aiden could hear Vincent screaming and crying: "A good man would have not even left them in the first place! HOW AM I A GOOD MAN?!"
So that confirmed his suspicions. Vincent had never made it home to his wife and child before the plague had claimed their lives. It seemed to be just as Aiden felt: Vincent was just a man who had been through too much.
...
Next Part:
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To start from the beginning or to read another chapter, here's the album link:
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***Please note this is a BOY LOVE (BL/yaoi/gay) series. It is a slow burn and rated PG13!***
***
Special thank you to Vin Aydin Raven-Mysterious for collaborating with me on this series and co-starring as The Captain!
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charcoal, spray paint, copper nails, limewood offcuts, soft pastel & found objects on board // 12.5X14.75" // youtu.be/i90EMCj98es
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Model: Anja
[Explore #292]
Listen!! It will only take 3 minuets and 38 seconds of your life! :)
Yeah, ive got this weird thing for clouds all of a sudden...
This is another one of my favorites off the record. Its so beautiful and i just LOVE IT!
Day in and day out
watch him scream, watch him shout
through the silence
through the silence
give him ears
give him eyes
give some point to the cries and the violence
oh, the violence
hear him scream your name
I would like to introduce Mr. Sensitive
the one who never let the worst get the best of him
get the best of him
This city feels low against the gleam and the glow of his diligence
to their elegance
just feel anger, feel pain
feel the sun and the rain
just feel something
oh, feel something!
hear him scream your name
They throw the stones and bricks and bones
he didn't stand a chance
they said
come little boy the world is so
but ignorance is bliss
That's Bart on the left, with his sister, Lisa. They were adopted from St. Croix three years ago via www.realcruzancats.org.
A sensitive plant in a garden grew,
And the young winds fed it with silver dew,
And it opened its fan-like leaves to the light,
and closed them beneath the kisses of night.
Percy Bysshe Shelley, "The Sensitive Plant," 1820
I can't believe I nearly stood on this dandelion clock before I noticed the dew!
Common Snipe / gallinago gallinago. 21/08/19.
One of c9 Common Snipe that eventually flew in for a prolonged feeding fest mid-afternoon.
Once they got going, they probed their beaks into the mud at a rapid rate, reminiscent of a sewing machine's needle action. Snipe are able to detect food hidden deep in the mud using sensitive nerves inside the tips of their flexible beaks.
This bird was captured taking a brief rest to check the surrounding area. The position of it's beautifully large, dark eyes gives it excellent periphery vision.
BEST VIEWED LARGE.
She is always so happy, but super sensitive lately. It breaks my heart seeing her cry. I told no more trampoline and out came the tears, she got over it fast...thankfully!
The sweet and sensitive Field Spaniel is famously docile, but vigorous and game for anything when at play or in the field. These close cousins to Cocker Spaniels and Springer Spaniels may be small in number, but their charm is enormous. Field Spaniels bear a family resemblance to Cocker, Springer, and Sussex spaniels. The distinctive glossy coat is either black, some shade of liver, or combinations of the two.
One routine that I have is winding my antique clocks once a week. The more that I repair... the more that need winding.
Our Daily Challenge:
YOUR ROUTINE is the topic for Wednesday for April 15 2020
Sensitive fern is such a beauty and when they're lit like this on a quiet backwater, I have to go in with the camera.
Rainbow colored autumn leaves
sprung outward by the trees
Drying up, on a cold autumn's night
loosing colors they once were bright
Swayed by wind, dancing around
falling silently to the ground
When autumn starts, I now believe
rainbows are made by the autumn leaves.
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Captured with a Nikon Df and a manual Nikkor Ai 35mm ƒ1:2, post processed in Lightroom using VSCO Film.
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This shot is probably out focus or may be the red is too sensitive.
Kodak E100VS, Summilux-R 80mm on R9 View On Black
The iPhone Developer is a timid creature, and notoriously difficult to catch on camera. However, needs must and in this world of self-promotion even the most camera-shy species needs a mugshot.
I've been kicking around 'I for iPhone' since the iPhone Developer suggested it back in January, and really liked the idea of incorporating the device itself into the shot somehow. When the iPad was launched, it was obvious we'd have to work that in somewhere.
We took a number of close-up shots with various expressions, which we loaded onto an iPad, an iPod Touch, and an iPhone 3G and 3GS. We then mucked about with different combinations to create different effects. This was the first one we tried, before we'd really got the lighting sorted out.
Someone suggested I read this book... don't know what gave her the idea. Maybe it was the bubble wrap.
Today, 21 January 2022, our temperature is 1°C (windchill -1°C) just after 12:00 noon. Sunrise is at 8:27 am and sunset is at 5:08 pm. A bright, sunny day.
Having spent quite a few hours today trying to sort out a computer 'virus', I am tired out and will have to add descriptions tomorrow. Is anyone else getting endless McAfee pop-ups, that say you have viruses found on your computer? I don't even have McAfee installed on my computer. Ran a full Norton scan of my computer and no viruses were found. Also did a Malwarebytes scan and all was well. Google says don't click on any of the pop-ups. I don't know how to stop the wretched things.
A few more odds and ends from my archives tonight. I am adding the description that I wrote under a different image taken on the same outing.
"On 2 May 2016, I was incredibly fortunate to be able to witness about 30 (?) of these Grouse, mainly male with just a handful of females, displaying at their "lek" or communal dancing ground. On this particular day, five of us went to see this. There had been a couple of possible chances for me to get out there, but these had fallen through. Then, out of the blue, friend Dorothy phoned me, asking if I had been able to get to the lek yet. She said that if I hadn't been, her husband Stephen would be willing to drive me there! This was such a wonderful surprise, though anyone who really knows this couple already knows what amazingly kind and generous people they are. I was so happy to get this unexpected chance and the three of us had a great morning, in good weather and in good company. Two young men also went, making their own way there. Delightful guys, highly respectful of not only the Grouse, but also of us, constantly moving form their seats to allow us to get our turn, and vice versa. They could so easily have left the 'hide/blind ahead of us when the Grouse had all left, but instead they waited till we were all packed up and then made sure that we were all able to safely get over the very awkward stile at the fence line. Having been out there last year, on 13 April 2015, I knew of this problem and had bought a three-step step ladder a few weeks ago, just in case I was able to go sometime this spring. This made so much difference, thank goodness, especially as I was really tired after staying up all night in order to leave at a very unearthly hour of the morning.
So glad we had a nice, sunny day - the day I went a year ago, the weather was overcast and not good for photos. This year, I got to see the Grouse in beautiful sunrise light, too. Of course, the 'problem' of clumps of tall grass was exactly the same this year, lol, keeping the birds somewhat hidden, but every once in a while, a bird would come out into the open. Most of the time, they were quite distant, but we were very lucky that several did give us a closer view. Such magnificent birds, with their yellow 'eyebrows', purple patch below the side of the neck on the males, and glorious feather pattern. Their dance display to attract the females is so fascinating to watch.
Just after we got back to our cars, another car came along the road and stopped to talk with us. It turned out that this gentleman was indirectly connected to the lek. He voiced his huge concern at how many people had been out there this spring, feeling that this was not good for the Grouse. He said that hopefully no more people would be going, so that the Grouse would be undisturbed in their mating. We agreed with him and thought that maybe people should not be allowed to visit every year, but perhaps every two or three years. I will pass on his words and great concern to our Naturalist leader who organizes these visits. (Note added on 13 November 2021: they are still being allowed to continue.)
After we left the lek, we travelled a few nearby backroads, hoping to see a Western Meadowlark. We saw 10! It had been so funny, while we sat in the blind at the lek, a Meadowlark was somewhere nearby and sang for us for about four hours! When we at last emerged into the sunlight, there was no sign of it anywhere. We did manage to get a few distant shots of two or three of them.
Thank you so much, Stephen and Dorothy, for offering to take me - so very kind and thoughtful of you, as always! The stop for having our sandwiches was great and the muffins you brought along with you ended the morning very nicely.
If you have time, the following 2:30 minute YouTube video by the Alberta Conservation Association is very good for showing the action of these birds. There are several still shots first and then the video starts. Pretty amazing! The birds remind me of a child's wind-up toy : )
I came across an excellent brochure (pdf file) about Sharp-tailed Grouse on the Internet and will use some of the information from it, instead of using my own words to describe what goes on at a lek. I had seen females of this species before, on Christmas Bird Counts, but not a male and not at breeding time.
www.ab-conservation.com/downloads/educational_materials/b...
"Sharp-tailed grouse perform spring courtship displays on communal “dancing grounds” called leks. Here, males compete for breeding opportunities by displaying their "dancing” ability to females. Most activity on the lek occurs in the early morning just before sunrise and for a few hours afterwards. The males’ energetic display includes fluttering wings, rapid foot stomping and spinning in tight circles - reminiscent of wind-up toys. The most dominant males court females with low cooing sounds and by strutting around them with inflated air sacs on their neck and fanned tail feathers. It is nearly a winner-take-all form of competition, as only a few of the males are selected as mates by the females.
Leks are found in areas with dry open ground, where dancing activity keeps the vegetation well-trampled. Leks are used over several weeks beginning in late March and are often used for years, even decades. They are an important part of sharp-tailed grouse life, and the loss of suitable lek habitat can be a limiting factor for sharp-tailed grouse in Alberta.
Male sharp-tailed grouse gather on the lek in late March. In April the females arrive, sparking increased displaying by the males. Peak attendance by females on the lek occurs between mid to late April in much of Alberta. Once they have selected a male, hens breed once and then seek out a place to nest, usually in late April to early May.
Leks are an integral part of the lifecycle of prairie grouse. Active leks should never be approached, as any disturbance to the birds may disrupt breeding activities and result in the abandonment of the lek. The locations of active and historical leks are of great interest to grouse biologists.
Native North Americans called the sharp-tailed grouse “Fire Bird” because of their reliance on fires to keep their habitat open in wooded areas. Suppression of natural fire in parkland and boreal areas reduces the amount of open grassland available to sharp-tailed grouse.
Sharp-tailed grouse were an important food source for native North Americans and they continue to be a popular game bird for hunters today.
In Alberta, the sharp-tailed grouse is listed as “Sensitive.”
While exact population numbers are not known, there is a feeling that sharp-tailed grouse have decreased significantly in numbers over the past 40 years. This trend is supported by lek counts, hunter surveys, aerial counts and Breeding Bird Survey data. Declining numbers are the result of a reduction in the quality and quantity of sharp-tailed grouse habitat, particularly the loss of quality nesting and brood-rearing habitat." From www.ab-conservation.com.
www.ab-conservation.com/downloads/report_series/Use-Habit...