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Freezing cold could not stop us from taking photo. A photo from the Parliament Canada, Ottawa. Luckily, we got there the day after a snow storm. Everything is so beautiful where the fluffy pile of snow cover on them.
I am wondering if 2015 could possibly be the year that I take Helene to a new level. So far since I began cross-dressing fifteen years ago, then age 41 with much smoother skin, I have transformed into my female alter-ego mainly in privacy and usually alone. I have rarely net another transvestite. I did venture out in public very briefly in 2002 but soon lost my nerve and since then have felt queasy at the prospect of going out in public while dressed as a woman.
I'm aware I have been fortunate enough to be complimented on my appearance when attempt the art of female illusion. My problem is I cannot quite see myself as others do, I feel a complete failure in my efforts but I’m not gloomy or down, far from it. I feel elation and joy and love to be dressed as a woman. I just feel I don’t actually look remotely feminine in any way. I wish I did.
However, I feel my fears on venturing out starting to recede somewhat more because I so enjoy the rare occasions I become Helene that part of myself is desiring to actually spend time actually being her out in the world. There is an enthusiasm starting to build within me.
The adorable and supportive Pamela Lennon has encouraged me for several years now and I am grateful to her. Another T-Girl, Claire Doolan, has also been encouraging me and I am grateful to her as well. The warm hearted Amanda McG has been truly wonderful and has really boosted my confidence considerably recently.
I now find myself musing on what I will wear and how I will style my wig for the day I venture out….there, I’ve said it…venture out…
Yes, I am now musing over the prospect and I’m not quite as fearful as I was. My problem is I genuinely want to be perceived as female not male. I do not want to be a man dressed up i want to be a woman completely when I venture out. Obviously, this is down to me getting the look right, getting my behaviour and mannerisms right and coming across convincingly as female. I want this so much I feel momentum to g through with it pushing me within.
I often hear remarks such as don’t worry about passing, just be who you are. Well who I am is a man that seeks to pass, that’s what I dream of. I don’t ant anything else. I want to go out and portray myself as a woman wholeheartedly for the period I am dressed and acting as one. It’s my goal. I‘m not keen on just settling for a lesser experience I have been heading for this one for all of my adult life.
This is a picture taken on the camera self timer last June. It was evening and I was trying my utmost to create a real world female appearance. To be honest I felt rather nice and excited in this outfit. I was aiming for a feminine nicely dressed woman look with (hopefully) nice enhancing make-up and a shorter contemporary hair style. I am not very tall as a person and my face is quite bland with a weak chin (all good for me as a transvestite). I feel a shorter hair style back combed helps create a slightly more elegant shape to my whole body shape. More importantly, I find when I wear a shorter wig style I feel more feminine, it feels more real to me than the favoured transvestite choices of long hair styles. Some aces suit longer hair but I find a shorter wig opens up my face ore and is a bit more feminine as a result.
I usually study real women that look stylish and feminine and I noticed the key is choosing a hair style that works with ones facial shape not necessarily a hair style one wants to wear because as transvestites it fits more our perceived ideal of how a woman should look.
I believe fervently that discovering what works and looks female is the key to succeeding in creating a convincing female appearance. We usually pursue a goal of that which we like, which is fair enough, one should be free to enjoy what they like, but often that does not mean it is going to work out for the best. My mantra for several years is ‘be the woman you can be, not the woman you want to be’.
If you are keen to become a convincing looking woman then being willing to have an open approach is the best way to proceed in my personal view. It’s all bot getting the mix right and finding the right combinations of styles and make-up application. So often transvestites just put on things in a hotchpotch manner and don’t apply their make-up with any kind of direction to making the most of feminising one’s face. Cross-dressing is fun but you if you seek to pass then some discipline and direction needs to be adhered to of one wishes to look realistically like a woman. It is an art form and becoming skilled in the art of illusion is a skill worth mastering.
I would suggest one does not become too drab and dowdy, nice clothes are out thee for women of all ages, why blend in so much one is invisible. I know my vanity likes the feeling of being admired as a woman. I like the idea of being seen as feminine and (hopefully) attractive and if at all possibly, stylishly dressed. I would enjoy admiring glances for these reasons. It is what I call the right kind of attention. I know many women certainly enjoy admiring attention. As Helene I too would like that.
I suppose Helene frees up suppressed flamboyant aspects of my persona. The dressing up, the make-up, the hair, the click of the heels, the swish f hem on a dress…yes, I want to catch peoples eye but I know it is all just down to my vanity. I do feel more emboldened as a woman so I wonder just how I will become once I have ventured out on a few occasions? Will the dam break? Will I thrive on being Helene the woman out an about? I cannot help feeling I will probably get completely at home with the persona, something within me feels sure of this though I cannot say why.
I’ve reached the point now in my life where women I see and admire and who are quietly confident and draw the admiring glances of both men and women have inspired me to the cusp of I too want to become one of them (albeit part time). I want to be waking along in a tailored skirt suit, legs on display clad in nude coloured tights, feet swathed in stylish high heel court shoes, a perfectly ironed tailored blouse and precisely applied make-up and a beautifully styled wig with my nails painted and a fragrant air of perfume. Yes indeed, I really would like to be such a woman.
Will I finally become such a woman?
This year? Maybe…
...that I don't have a problem.... but not enough time... :-)
This is Yarow, one of the Dogs from Zbyszek Kunert (PL). I was in Austria last weekend - Sled Dog Race in Sportgastein.
Unfortunately there was a storm on Saturday so only on Sunday the stage was opened for the race.
A lot of dogs of course, a lot of fun with great people.
I will miss this kind of action on the weekend for the next months. It was a great pleasure to be on those events with the mushers and the beautiful dogs
When trying to read on my sunny patio in the evening with a cool, refreshing drink, I too often get distracted by the sunlight and how it moves across my borders. Normally I just sit and stare, and wish I had my camera.
Yesterday, I actually moved and grabbed my camera. Really hoping it doesn't become a habit; i want to keep enjoying my evening reading.
P1001740 (2)
The Year 2000 problem, also known as the Y2K problem, the Millennium bug, the Y2K bug, the Y2K glitch, or Y2K, is a class of computer bugs related to the formatting and storage of calendar data for dates beginning in the year 2000. Problems were anticipated, and arose, because many programs represented four-digit years with only the final two digits — making the year 2000 indistinguishable from 1900. The assumption of a twentieth-century date in such programs could cause various errors, such as the incorrect display of dates and the inaccurate ordering of automated dated records or real-time events. Companies and organisations worldwide checked, fixed, and upgraded their computer systems to address the anticipated problem. As a result, very few computer failures were reported when the clocks rolled over into 2000.
Rollei SL66E Fomapan200 diafine (3+3)
Pelicula fomapan 200 revelada con diafine y el resultado es este. ¿Alguien le ha pasado esto alguna vez? Las manchas estan en todo el negativo, inlcuso en la parte no expuesta. Otro dato curioso es que carecia de numeros y de marca de pelicula.
Fomapan 200 developed in diafine (3+3) Can anyone tell me what could be the problem? The strange spots are all over the negative even in the unexposed parts.Another curious thing is that the film doesn´t have any numbers or film maarks.
Thanks in advance
Here's a better version that I saw on Twitter a few days ago.
Hopefully this one doesn't start a flame war. Not that I would mind 400+ comments on a photo. :P
Hi Everyone,
Just a quick note to let everyone know what it happening!! My wife was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday and will just say that the issues have not resolved!! Please no emails at this time because I don't have time to address them!! We only have questions at this time and no answers so it will do no good to speculate!! I ask that for those of you who pray that we would appreciate it if you kept her in your prayers!! I will try to get back here as soon as possible and fill everyone in but it has been a 20 hour day today! Peace and blessings to everyone!!
Thanks to all. Jerome
DSL_1115uls
Cargonet El 14. 2173 in train 5734 Trondheim-Oslo with TMe 1504 on a test run after some problems last week.
My biggest problem in life was over coming myself, but once i defeated myself the only thing left was peace.
Kevin Gates
Niggas be talking like this shit easy or something, ya heard me
(They do)
Nah nigga, I make this shit look easy, ya heard me
See, sometimes people think they can be you
Better than you could be you
Every time they tear you down, I'ma build you the fuck back up, nigga
Took a lot of losses, had to bounce back
She got ass, love it when it bounce back
Came back strong, had to bounce back
Applying pressure, watch a nigga bounce back
Huh, huh, push it
Up all in his face and he think that I'm pushing
Like what we got talk about? Ain't shit to talk about
I put the calls on these niggas, I call 'em out
Huh, huh, push it, yeah
Huh, huh, push it
I'm in his face and he think that I'm pushing
Major mistake if you thinkin' I'm pussy, yeah
Huh, huh, push it
Huh, huh, push it
I'm in his face and he think that I'm pushing
Major mistake if you thinkin' I'm pussy, yeah
252 on the digi', I'm still in the kitchen
I'm cookin' a four and a half
Pyrex the yola, I add a lil' soda it bubble, I double to 500 grams
My junky a tester, say, "How may I help ya?"
I blessed him, my guess is he just need a lil' blast
Not a good looker, but she a good hooker
And I'm about to turn me some trash into cash
Water just gushed out her mouth and her pussy
She need some more cushion, went and bought her some ass
Secret compartments, Toyota Corolla
I'm hopin' the low don't get caught on the slab
Nothing impossible, had a few obstacles
Right back to clocking like I never left
My windows is tinted, my mouth and my watch go to hitting
While grippin' the wheel in my 'Vette
I'm in two lanes, whip is insane, I had to take off the brain
I got some change, trap with two names, on the Blackberry doin' my thing
I been pushing them thangs
Pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it
I been doing my thang
Pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it
Took a lot of losses, had to bounce back
She got ass, love it when it bounce back
Came back strong, had to bounce back
Applying pressure, watch a nigga bounce back
Huh, huh, push it
Up all in his face and he think that I'm pushing
Like what we got talk about? Ain't shit to talk about
I put the calls on these niggas, I call 'em out
Huh, huh, push it, yeah
Huh, huh, push it
I'm in his face and he think that I'm pushing
Major mistake if you thinkin' I'm pussy, yeah
Huh, huh, push it
Huh, huh, push it
I'm in his face and he think that I'm pushing
Major mistake if you thinkin' I'm pussy, yeah
I got my shirt off, dropping the work off
On Carolina controlling the spot
12 in the section, harassing pedestrians
Catching a sell, they patrolling, it's hot
If I get arrested, my bail could be set at whatever
Go right back and open up shop
Emit The Jeweler come sit in my section
It look like Lil' Kevin wrist flooded with rocks
I cut on the faucet, I'm really retarded
I bought a lil' water, not spillin' a drop
You gotta be cautious, I'm clutching, you crossin' us
Pump put a permanent scar in your top
Bought a new freak, she got a big head like Rihanna
It's cute, I'm not takin' a shot
Designer my closet, pick up a deposit
On Michigan Ave. when I chill in the Chi
I'm in two lanes, whip is insane, I had to take off the brain
I got some change, trap with two names, on the Blackberry doin' my thing
I been pushing them thangs
Pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it
I been doing my thang
Pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it, pushing it
Took a lot of losses, had to bounce back
She got ass, love it when it bounce back
Came back strong, had to bounce back
Applying pressure, watch a nigga bounce back
Huh, huh, push it
Up all in his face and he think that I'm pushing
Like what we got talk about? Ain't shit to talk about
I put the calls on these niggas, I call 'em out
Huh, huh, push it, yeah
Huh, huh, push it
I'm in his face and he thinkin' I'm pushing
Major mistake if you thinkin' I'm pussy, yeah
Huh, huh, push it
Huh, huh, push it
I'm in his face and he thinkin' I'm pushing
Major mistake if you thinkin' I'm pussy, yeah
Little MOC for the french BrickPirate Challenge during november and december.
The goal : NPU of the minifigure arms.
When the storms arrive and "For The Problems" they can cause who could be to concerned when they bring such pleasure to hikers, cross country skiers and photographers. The beauty of fresh snow doesn't last to long so make the best of and keeping shooting and sharing.
I took a Night Photography class sponsored by Desert Botanical Garden and taught by Ryan Parra - a photography professor at Mesa Community College and Arizona State University. I learned a lot and practiced a lot. I really feel that I had improved significantly by the end of the class. One big problem with classes like this is keeping other photographers out of the frame.
This HYBYCOZO sculpture is titled Inner Orbit. It seems to be the masterpiece of the installation. It is in a special area that is restricted during the day. Any correction will be appreciated. I especially love it at night with the lights and shadows.
dbg.org/events/light-bloom/2024-10-12/
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFelgzzzQqg
LIGHT BLOOM by HYBYCOZO is a limited-time exhibit where nature and light converge. This mesmerizing display invites you to explore the Garden transformed by stunning geometric light installations that illuminate the beauty of the desert landscape in a new way. As the sun sets, LIGHT BLOOM comes to life, casting intricate shadows and vibrant hues across the Garden. Wander the trails and let the enchanting installations transport you to a magical realm where the natural world meets the abstract.
HYBYCOZO is the collaborative studio of artists Serge Beaulieu and Yelena Filipchuk. Based in Los Angeles, their work consists of larger than life geometric sculptures, often with pattern and texture that draw on inspirations from mathematics, science, and natural phenomena. Typically illuminated, the work celebrates the inherent beauty of form and pattern and represents their ongoing journey in exploring the myriad dimensions of geometry. HYBYCOZO is short for the Hyperspace Bypass Construction Zone, a nod to their favorite novel (The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) and was the title of their first installation in 2014. They continue to create under this name. In the novel earth was being destroyed to make way for a bypass. It lead Serge and Yelena to ask what it means to make art at a time where the earth’s hospitable time in the universe may be limited.
dbg.org/meet-the-artists-behind-light-bloom/
Q: Walk us through your creative process?
A: The focus of our creative process is to explore the intricate interplay between geometry, light, space and to inspire contemplation, wonder and a sense of place among our audiences. Geometry and pattern-making serve as the backbone of our creative expression. It is the framework through which we navigate the complexities of form, proportion and spatial relationships. Patterns, both simple and complex, have a profound impact on our perception and understanding of the world. They possess the ability to evoke a sense of order, balance and aesthetic pleasure. Pattern making and geometry offer us a means of storytelling and communication. These patterns serve as conduits for deeper exploration, provoking introspection and contemplation to uncover the underlying symbols embedded within the human psyche.
Q: What inspired the concept of LIGHT BLOOM?
A: Just as many cactus and desert plants have evolved to produce night-blooming flowers, adapting to their environment and thriving in darkness, our sculptures come alive after sunset, blossoming with light and transforming the night into a glowing landscape of art and geometry.
Desert Botanical Garden has an incredible collection of plants and cacti arranged in a beautiful park setting.
"Think the desert is all dirt and tumbleweeds? Think again. Desert Botanical Garden is home to thousands of species of cactus, trees and flowers from all around the world spread across 55 acres in Phoenix, Arizona."
Desert Botanical Garden
DBG HYBYCOZO Light Bloom
.
Abused, Abandoned Jungle Dogs.
Nikon D300 DX Camera.
Nikkor 17-55 2.8 Lens.
September 30th 2014.
Back Story ................
Up by 5:15 AM and off to the morning market to get "5" kilos of chopped chicken.
Seems lately "4" kilos just isn't filling the bill.
Ran home and started right in cooking the chicken and preparing all the usual stuff.
Try as I might the clock was winning the race. My body wanted to go 100 miles per hour but in reality 10 miles per hour was the best I could do .
Left the starting gate handy capped by a good two hours. It is what it is ..;-)
No problem with The Browns as all 3 of them were waiting patiently by the old iron gate leading into The Dog Palace.
Once we had finished with their unbridled exuberance breakfast was served.
During this time all pills and medicine in the form of antibiotic compound mix was administered to their monkey wounds.
Mamas wound is rated a strong 7+.
Mr B's wound is rated a strong 6.
And Betty's wound is a strong 7+
Thanks to your ongoing support these
Dogs have made it through an agonizing,
painful, death defying situation.
Big Thank You from the jungles of Thailand..;-)
On the way out the skies were filling up with dark menacing rain clouds suggesting the presence of a very nasty storm coming in !
After spending an hour at The Dog Palace with The Browns it was time to cut it short and head for home.
Had only been on the road 15 minutes when large rain drops started hitting me hard, and soon they were larger and hitting harder !
Not far up ahead it was nothing less then a dark gray wall of water coming down !
Quickly pulled under a large palm tree and got sorted out with the poncho covering me and a plastic garbage bag covering the camera, which was hanging over my shoulder in a cotton bag.
Took off once again but the trucks and cars never even slowed down all the time spraying water over me.
By now the rain made seeing 10 feet in front near impossible as the vehicles continued to fly past on a road now completely covered in water building up by the second !.
Those guys are brain dead driving like that in these adverse conditions, and if I continue any further I too will be brain dead.
Started down shifting the little Honda 125 knowing that if I hit the breaks the scooter may not do what I want it to do.
Got myself a couple meters off the side of the road but still the wake from the splashing cars hit me. With the rain now horizontal and vertical seeing was next to zero ! Lightning was striking close by as thunder shook my very soul.
I desperately need to get under something and need to do it fast ..
Maybe 5 meters ahead I think I see an old phone booth, sure enough as I approach there stood, at an angle an old abandoned phone booth. Along side of it was maybe 5 cement blocks.
Kicked the blocks apart to see it there was any bad critters, grabbed 3 of them and made a cement chair in the phone booth. Ahhh, at last "Shelter from the storm"
So here I am sitting on my new cement chair made from blocks in an old phone booth watching the world fly by.
Well looked more like a blur flying by as lightning is striking every few seconds and thunder is shaking my new found shelter.
I'm wet under the poncho but makes no difference as long as I'm off the road and away from those lunatic drivers.
One thing that was kinda cool is the angle the phone booth tilted made for a backrest, down side was my feet were in 6 inches of moving water. What's that mean ? .. Keep an eye out for snakes !!!
In short order there was the horrific sound of metal hitting metal, you know the sound cars make when they make contact at high speed. Not only once but repeatedly. This sound added to the lightning, thunder and down pour of rain got me to thinking....
Closed my eyes and said
"Buddha, I'm sure glad I don't live in Syria !".
A long 30 minutes went by and still no let up... My wet butt is getting real tired of sitting on these hard cement blocks.
Another long 30 minutes went by and the lightning started to slow down but the rain continued at the same rate.
Stepped out to have a look see, not far from my location the stop lights weren't working. Vehicles had slowed due to the depth of the water covering the road, like axle deep !
Cars and trucks were spread out all over the place, looked like "pick up sticks".
Panicked people everywhere but not a single motorbike in any direction.
Rain coming down hard but nothing like the last hour.
Called no# 1 wife, she was relieved to hear from me as she had called with no answer. Told no# 1 it was so loud there was no way I could ever here the phone ring. Plus it was wrapped up in the cotton bag that was wrapped up in the plastic bag ....;-0~~
Alright enough, time to make a move, so I did.
Slowly worked my way down the high side of the road which meant circumventing a number of staled out vehicles. Rain is relentless but no matter now I'm on a mission to get home.
And some time later I did arrive, soaking wet and met by a bunch of soaking wet dogs. Mr WeeNee, Boney Boy and of course The Worm. They all had their own storm story that they insisted on sharing with me .At this point I just laid down on the ground and let them tell me in their own way...Lots of licking and leaping ...;-)
.
Jon&Crew, soaking wet but still here ...;-)
ooooops ,
Forgot to mention the photo
is Baby Ding Bat .........;-)~~~
Thank you for your comments and donations.
Thank You.
Jon&Crew.
Please help with your donations here.
www.gofundme.com/saving-thai-temple-dogs.
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A friend of my FIL fixes computers and today we took our computer up to him to see if he could find out what the problem was. It didn't take him long to realise that Mozilla Firefox had been corrupted, but it took all day to try and fix the problem. While I was there I wandered across the road to the cemetary where I often see kookaburras and today I wasn't disappointed. The computer seems to be working okay now, thank goodness.
#135 on Explore on 30th January, 2009.
Made using:
- Nvidia Ansel
- ReShade with my own settings
Mods:
-No Dirty Lens Effect by RumenWest
-High Quality Faces by Holgar96
-Increased LOD by sjbox
-Real Witcher Eyes - Geralt by CurtiSRustY (Real Hunter Eyes)
-The Witcher 3 HD Reworked Project by Halk Hogan PL
-Remove Screen Water Droplets Effect by FPSRazR
-Atmospheric Nights by olegkuz1997