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Notes from New Web Technologies, a talk from Chris Lea.
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I have been busy recently, what with orientation, enrolments and such. i am finally going back into uni proper. i know these are ANU notes from eons ago, but they are still relevant with what i am doing....
just tabbing them to sort out the relevance. as well as highlighting the different relevance (e.g pink goes with globalisation or a different week etc)
How do you explain to those around you, the ones you love dearly and cherish that you will not die of natural causes. That it's your destiny to die by your own hands. This is the only way I know how to explain it. I know in my heart one day I will take my own life and with a smile on my face. Whether or not I'll ever get help or not. I will die from suicide. I've accepted it long ago. Something I know will happen one day. I desire it honestly. More than anything in life. I dream about my death and how I can do it with as little after effect on those I care about. It is the only way I know all this will stop, the insanity, the voices, the visions and delusions I suffer from. Day to day I fight with myself of whether or not what I'm thinking is real. Whether or not those I trust or love are really there or if they are part of my imagination. Whether or not the feelings shared by others is even real. Or if simply put everyone is really after me. Every day.. Every fucking waking day I think about this. Whether or not anyone is even real. One day it has to end, it won't ever happen with any type of medication. They simply allow me to mask it. I wish I knew when, but I can say it won't be a long time. But it will happen, no denying the truth of it. It will be the only way I am able to stop all of this. The thing has stings most though when I think about it is my fiancee and childrens' faces. It won't stop it but it does make it seem more real to me than anything else. There is only so much one person can take mentally. Everyone eventually has a breaking point.
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From Evernote:
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LAST ONE Sassafras Camisole by OnTheInside on Etsy
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mae bralette by UnderItAll on Etsy
Black Chiffon Halter Bra Size Large by NaughtyNaughty on Etsy
Black Chiffon Halter Bra Size Large by NaughtyNaughty on Etsy
White Chiffon Halter Lingerie Bra Size Large in by NaughtyNaughty
White Chiffon Halter Lingerie Bra Size Large in by NaughtyNaughty
Something Blue Chiffon Lingerie Halter Bra by NaughtyNaughty
Black Strappy Sleep Bra Small by NaughtyNaughty on Etsy
Black Strappy Sleep Bra Small by NaughtyNaughty on Etsy
Alfred Shaheen 1970s Blue Maxidress by AstralBoutique on Etsy
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From Evernote:
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Untitled Clipped Note
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Martin Luther is framed against the Luther Place Memorial Church just North of Thomas Circle in Washington, DC, USA.
If Bob Dylan had been born in 1991 and lived in Sydney, he might've sounded a little bit like this guy.
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If you share them with friends or family, make sure to include the disclaimer below:
These photographs are provided by The Office of Governor Glenn Youngkin as a courtesy and may be printed by the subjects in the photograph for personal use only. The photographs may not be manipulated in any way and may not otherwise be reproduced, disseminated, or broadcast, without the written permission of the Governor’s Office. These photographs may not be used in any commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, or promotions that in any way suggest approval or endorsement of the Governor, the First Family, or the Commonwealth of Virginia.
My reminder. I found this on the street in Ottawa and I read it everyday and it reminds me to have faith. I was shocked when I found it, it completely describes my life and way of thinking. It was written by a stranger, but I think they wrote it for me.
It reads:
What had been one clear path now forks. Yet each trail leads me to the same destination
No decision was in itself a decision.