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Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness in other people. But remember,there is always light, even in the darkest of times.
#thoughtoftheday #fullmoon #purnamamengambangcumaberteman
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mardhiah.m: Tdo la semek
akmal_c: @mardhiah.m weh tlg track gotu katku weh
A fun night out with friends to see "Thank you for the Music", an ABBA tribute band at Sheffield City Hall.
Knowing that I'm into buses, a thoughtful colleague at work gave me this toy yellow school bus. It has a small stop sign that flips out, and little doors that open. Made in China, and available at your local toy shop all over the world I'm sure.
I've always wondered though, is North America the only place (in the western world) that school children ride in buses that are generally deemed as not acceptable for the general public?
The typical yellow school bus is uncomfortable to ride in. Its long backside overhang and chassis design make the bus very "bouncy" when going over a bump. In developed Asia and Europe, school children ride in normal buses just like their older counterparts.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) turned to walk to the doorway. " Come with me." He didn't wait to see Morion follow. He expected he would. He didn't even bother to open the door. He just walked outside. Standing on the stairwell to the war room he looked out to the practice area and pointed. "See that? Those men down there? New recruits. All of them. You know they signed up only after you were appointed as the new Heir? That one of the end there had a father that served under you until you left for the war. Died of some illness a year after. Father was some drunk until he signed up for the guard, but he stopped because he respected this young Noble upstart that led them all. In fact, they all have stories like that, as do the remaining guard that had served under you. They all seem to know you very well."
Morion Chaika followed him out and stood there watching him as he spoke. Finally he moved over to the railing to look down at the men there. He studied them in silence for a long moment before he finally gave a nod . Hands lifted as he brushed them back over his hair and he sighed softly then glanced to Brennan. " Well that seemed to work possibly better than punching me. Though I doubt it felt as good to you as doing the latter might have. I owe you thanks again . Now I just need to figure out how to keep them all safe and happy.
ßαηαکɧεε (Nathyn Soothsayer) kept his eyes on guard beneath them. He was picking apart their movements and methods, judging each for where strengths and weaknesses arose. It was the way of him to do so. Humans were always much easier to judge than Fae. They were far more simpler, in his opinion. "You know, they don't follow me because they respect me. I am still that... oh, how did you say it? Oh, right. I'm that wild, exotic Heathen of an Outsider. They each spat at me when my back is to them. They respect me because I will bring them pain and misery if they do not. However, they also respect me because I have asked them each who they respect most and aspire to be and I use that knowledge to push them. And that aspiration is you, my Lord. Your people love you and you moan whine like a petulant child over an acceptance you already have. You are a spoiled little child." He paused to look over his shoulder, "and that is why I despise you. Know that. For all your blessings and good qualities, I do hate you, but then, I hate everyone. So don't take it personal." He smirked then, " Yes, telling you that did feel better than punching you in the face, though that would have been wonderful too. You owe me a great deal, Morion di Saraceni. Pray that I never collect upon it."
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Apart from knowing that FBY 008 is a Plaxton bodied Dennis Javelin belonging to a member of the Gozo Coaches Cooperative I have no other information on this particular vehicle. It is seen at Dwejra Bay situated on the southern coast of Gozo and the location of the stunning Azure Window, a natural limestone arch which was formed by the collapse of two sea caves.
Any info on this coach would be appreciated.
think about all of the times you have almost gotten hit by a car from listening to loud music and laugh
go through old emails before you have to be at the clinic in an hour
think about how no one at the clinic knows what email is
decide that is probably for the best
because email is depressing
and then think about how it is not your place to decide what is best for marginalized people, ever
you told me about the time you slept with someone you didn't really know
and then woke up the next day and found out they were a neo-nazi
and that made you sound hardcore, or open minded, maybe
but that just sort of terrified me
i read email
i saw the indian man who owns the liquor store feeding pigeons this morning
and i also saw him hit a homeless man with a broom handle one time
feed birds hit people
at zwane clinic i am playing a show for little kids on friday and it is my last day there
how do you say goodbye to little kids in a foreign language
how do you tell them that you are not going to see them again
how do you leave when you know no one else is coming to take your place
and now that they know the alphabet and about how fifty xhosa words are spelled
who is going to teach them about sentence structure and also more vocabulary
who is going to teach them what adjectives are
adjectives are so important
how the fuck am i supposed to walk away from that
i am not qualified to explain to anyone what adjectives are
truth be told i don't know if anyone could possibly explain the relevance of adjectives
i am not qualified
i am not a teacher
but there are no other teachers
there are no teachers
there are no teachers
there are no teachers
so i am automatically the most qualified willing person
what makes my life remotely more significant than their literacy
you said, you teach kids about hiv through music
i said yeah
you said that was awesome and i could tell you thought i did that just so i could tell people about it because there are a lot of people like that here there are a lot of white people like that here
and so i left the conversation
i want you to touch my hair
i want you to receive the nobel peace prize for wanting to write me a letter but not knowing what to say or how to say it
i think that is probably happening to someone i know in the world right now
i also want you to get enough sleep so i am going to not bother you from now on
wooden planks surrounding the roommate who woke me up last night
because he was touching himself at two am on a saturday
this made me laugh in the morning
i woke up and ate a huge apple and drank a huge thing of water and a piece of bread
in the morning i did not look at his face or say good morning i just washed my clothes in the bathroom sink and then i hung them up on the fence to dry and they were dry in like seven minutes
and then he said good morning and i was like, "good morning"
and then he was like, "what are you up to today?"
and i was like, "uh, i'm going to study and then go to langa"
and i did not ask what he was going to do because i have never seen him do anything but watch televsion or now, masturbate
which was probably rude of me but it was already weird
and i stared at the prescription pills under his bed
that was weird but important
i can't decide in these situations if i should show these things to anyone else and then i always do because i have low self esteem and this is why i do this and this is why i do this
the way he wrote that made me think about how i feel about actually sticking with this project for a year
and i wonder why i did that
because half way through i decided it was very contrived and also quite boring
but that was okay with me because i think i am sort of contrived
and it's probably not so bad, to be contrived
because that is close to being average
and if you are average then at least you are not below average
and also then you are probably down to earth
so i considered stopping and oh, i don't know
jody gave me back my book at the bar
"a cocksucking smooch with not public speaking skills," we laughed about that for awhile
and he laughed and laughed and the bar guy told me he didn't like my american accent and that there were no accents allowed at this bar
and jody was drunk so he told him to fuck off, was he xhosa or khoi khoi? then he wasn't from here either
and then i said, ha ha
and we left and went to the park where someone spray painted "tic generation"
and i was so relaxed i felt like i was in the thirteenth noun class of a traditionally unwritten language
thirteenth noun class i was not gendered because there are fifteen genders and i was either singular or plural so i fit every single noun
read email from victoria about watching her baby videos
and her saying that she had to turn them off because her mom looked so beautiful in them
and she misses her so much and her mom listening to the pixies and the smiths and taking pictures in the 1960's and being full of fire and seeking independence
and missing her mom and wanting to ask her a million questions
and then feel body parts singularly of themselves, o my
with love, from the northern hemi
with love, from the southern hemi
and i wanted to spray paint over somebody's eyelids
little red x's or just a sentence like,
let yourself feel things
please let yourself feel
there is nothing about feeling to be afraid of
it is a microcosm of a cardboard puzzle of a canyon with blooming trees and plants
and clean water
let yourself feel things and eventually you will be ok
Knowing Me Knowing You
ABBA
Knowing me, knowing you
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you
Had a funny ol morning this morning at Bundeena with Ant, Steve and Sonia. Was a high tide, but wasn't high enough for us (its a long story). Went to shoot a mangrove tree, but couldn't...so shot heaps instead. Had a great laugh...Great way to start the day....with some great people. Thanks guys.
Knowing how to stimulate the clitoris is a must for most women so that they can achieve orgasm.
Here’s a translation of scientific information on the clitoris into take-to-bed advice that will help you understand the stimulation needed to achieve orgasm.
I was recently talking to friends,...
howdoidate.com/sex/how-to-stimulate-the-clitoris-to-reach...
The Prayers of Others
The path to the truth is a labour of the heart, not the mind.
Make your heart your primary guide, not your mind.
Meet the challenges and ultimately prevail over your nafs with your heart.
Knowing yourself will lead you to the Knowledge of God.
Maulana Rum (ra)
Naran!
A northern destination in Pakistan in the province I had yet to visit, KPK. When my table tennis tables in the park project ended with the launch on May 30th, I got an inkling what my friends said about how they felt after returning from the Haj. During it, even though every step was physically exhausting, one felt a rush during the trip. Then upon returning, there was total collapse. Some said it took them a month to recover.
Monday morning I woke up so exhausted I could hardly move. Thursday I left for Islamabad. Sunday was my trip up north, supposedly to relax for 6 nights. I was going alone. I chose to arrive in Naran on a Sunday and spend the week there so that the crowds would be less. Babusar was not open yet. It’s the road to Gilgit that everyone takes and once open, draws in countless crowds.
I had heard that the road to Naran itself was ok but one needed a Wrangler type of jeep once there to visit different areas. I had the itinerary planned. The first day was Lulusar Lake, then Saif ul Mulook, then Noori Top. The last needed a 2 hour hike. There were other incredible lakes in the area but as I found out later, no one swims in them. Which was different from Skardu where my friends and I swam in every lake we went to. But then KPK is also relatively a conservative province. I wondered if I would need to cover my head.
Google was slightly off on the time to reach there. Said 6 hours but it took us 7. My car is old and not a 4 by 4. I had heard and read that Naran was laid out in as ugly and mismanaged a way that a rural mountain town could be developed. I would feel myself getting angry when I came across those words. People were always so quickly calling another’s home ugly.
The drive to Naran was uneventful initially because it felt like I was driving to Nathiagali, the favoured destination of Lahoris because of its proximity. I had spent my time listening to music on my headphone in the backseat. When we finally came upon the town perched up on the side of a hill in the distance, my heart sank.
It was ugly indeed. I tried to ignore it and looked forward to the hotel being nice. That too was a disappointment. It wasn’t like they showed it on the website, a property on its own near the base of one of the mountains. In reality, it was nested amongst a large number of other hotels. My room had a decent view but not one that allowed me to take a shot that I usually take titling it, “A room with a view.”
By the time we arrived it was 4pm. I went just stood still outside the hotel like a dummy not knowing what to do and where to go. Heading into town just to explore it like I was told to do if I ever went to Karimabad in Hunza was not an option. Just then a young man who was part of the hotel staff came towards me. He must have been in his 20s. He had a thin beard and a sweet smile. His name was Bilal. I looked at him and presented my wish; Was there a spot one could walk to that was beautiful but without tourists?
“No people,” I said, knowing it was a tall order.
“Behind that hill,” he replied instantly, pointing to a not so high mound right in front of us.
I asked him if he could take me. When we walked up the short distance and turned the corner on the other side, I smiled. In front of me was a gorgeous meadow with stepped hills and mountains in the distance. A stream was flowing down from the snow-capped tops. I bent down to drink from it.
“This is clean right?” I asked.
“It’s the water with the cure of a hundred illnesses,” he said. “It comes from the roots of many different kinds of trees.”
I made a mental note to empty all the bottled water in my room and fill it with this water for my trip. When we went home I expected to sleep like a log but I didn’t. There was some work going on in the rooms next to mine and if there wasn’t drilling, there was hammering. The next day I woke up early to go to Lulusar.
Day Two – The Opening of Space
The drive was gorgeous. It took us 2 hours to reach the lake . I stopped every once in a while to take photos. The scenery was jaw-dropping beautiful. The lake itself, however, was an uneventful spot so I had the driver turn around and chose a spot in the valley which had a meadow in it. I lay down my blanket and cushions which I had brought from Lahore for my picnics and had some lunch. Then I decided to read a little.
I chose to begin with Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani, The Sublime Revelations, the book of Ghaus Pak’s (ra) sermons. In the page I was at, this is what I read;
“O Listener! Leave your false lusts and desires and busy yourself in remembrance of Allah. Let that leave your tongue which gives you benefit and keep yourself silent of the words which will bring you harm. If you decide to speak, then before you say anything, deliberate on it. Form an intent around it. Then use your tongue.
That is why it is said, the Jahil’s tongue, the tongue of the one ignorant, comes before their qalb, the seat of station within the heart that recognizes God. And the tongue of the Sahib e Aql, the one who reflects and deliberates, their tongue comes after the qalb i.e. it asks the qalb first, then it speaks.”
The words were deep and my trial of the moment was all about an uncontrollable tongue but in the moment I was so captivated by the surrounding beauty, I couldn’t focus. I decided to just pray and walk around instead, taking some of the best photos of my life in the warm afternoon light which made everything striking.
When I reached the hotel, I looked forward to sleeping but for some reason it wasn’t meant to be. The construction workers were not only working in the rooms next to mine, they were also staying there. Being an extremely light sleeper, the smallest sound woke me up. I tossed and turned till Fajr, then just lay in bed with my eyes closed.
The hotel driver, Mushtaq, had told me that Saif ul Mulook was a hot stop for tourists so if I wanted pictures without humans in them, I would have to reach there by 8am at the latest, which meant leaving an hour before. It was only 8 km away but the road was so bad, it took that long to reach it. I had told my driver I would be down at 7am but when I couldn’t go back to sleep, I called the reception and told them I wanted to leave at 5 instead.
Day Three – Saif ul Mulook
My driver, Usman, who is in his 20s, chose to not join us. Like others in his generation, he opted for sleep instead. In the hours of the dawn, Mushtaq and I made our way up a mountain where essentially no part of the road was paved. When we reached the top, again we were met by hideous construction that actually blocked the first sight of the lake.
I felt robbed of a spectacular moment. The lake is considered to be one of the most beautiful in the country. Again everything I had read was coming true. The endless shops and restaurants that lined the path leading all the way to the lake was commercialism at its worst. Thankfully since it was dawn, they were all closed.
The driver knew a restaurant owner who opened his place so we could eat something. Other than him there was literally no one there. That part was phenomenal. After chowing down the egg and paratha, I walked down to the lake and just sat there for an hour doing my morning tasbeeh. It felt marvelous reading the verses in a serene place where I could walk around endlessly. Totally different from the experience inside my bedroom in Lahore.
I wanted to walk around the lake. The snowy mountains on the opposite bank looked inviting as hell but the restaurant owner had been discouraging. He kept offering a boat ride instead but I wasn’t interested in that.
Later I saw that the boats would only go around the periphery of half the lake and then return. They wouldn’t even cross the length of it. The lake is supposed to be extremely deep in the center but to not go over it on a boat made me think there was some superstition about crossing it.
While is sat staring at the lake, I saw a group of young men going in the direction of the trek around it. I decided I would go too. The sun was not out yet so it would be a while anyway before I got the shot of the lake I wanted in full light.
A young man who was waiting nearby to rent out a plastic mat to kids to slide in the snow told me going was not a problem at all and offered to go with me. The walk around the lake was cool. Literally also because there was large patches of hard ice every few feet. Walking through them wasn’t the easiest in my table tennis shoes which have no grip but it was beautiful. In an hour and a half I was back to my starting point with a range of excellent photos of the lake from the other side.
When I returned I saw the crowds of people that had arrived. The scene was no longer tranquil but bustling. By the time we drove back to the hotel it was 10. Hot water was only available till 11 so I asked Mushtaq to step on it. That’s a joke! Stepping on it meant an even bumpier ride. I was bouncing around in the front seat as it is. We had made a plan to go to Lalazar Meadows in the afternoon but I literally couldn’t move.
My body ached, I was tired from not sleeping. In that sense, the holiday was so far pretty nuts. Usually on a trip, the minute I’m out of Lahore I sleep deeply. On a whim I called my travel agent and told her I wanted to leave the next day. Noori Top was closed because of the ice. I told myself there was nothing left for me to do.
Upon my return to the hotel, my tiredness contributing to my sour mood, I started complaining to Bilal about having nowhere to go for the afternoon. He told me about the PTDC nearby.
“Sit by the river. It’s 5 minutes away,” he said. “Very pretty and quiet. You will like it.”
I grabbed my book and glasses, a peach, some water and got dropped there. The hotel itself looked like it was closed. There was a barrier with a lock on it at the entrance. I took my backpack and walked past it, telling my driver to wait for me outside on the main road.
The river was beautiful. The spot was quiet. I sat down and opened Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani again. My other spiritual trial had been learning patience for a while now and I had not stopped thinking about how hard it was. Of all things I had tried to inculcate, the level of difficulty was undeniably sky high.
Gratitude and patience, those are the two foundational pillars of spirituality. One is easy; gratitude. It comes naturally when good things happen. Then the expression of it, as instructed, is to be kind to others. Do something helpful for them. Those acts keep compounding joy, which is what the Greeks define as peace of mind. The practice of gratitude is addictive. There is no day one wants to left out of experiencing it. Not one!
Patience on the other hand only comes with trials and tests.
Then gratitude is expressed through other people. When you please them, they pray for you for all kinds of things you never ask for yourself. Patience is about the self. Sometimes the trial comes in the form of a human and other times it doesn’t.
Either way its about one’s own reaction at all times. Mindfulness becomes intensified to another level. Every emotion becomes deeply felt.
As Tashu explained to me once, “We all have some trial that we have to face in life. For one person it could be material, another health, someone children (or lack of for all the above), and for someone else marriage.”
Learning how to react “correctly” to that which is a difficulty destined is excruciating. One is going through the ringer anyway. Then there is the weight of one’s own response layered on top of that. It is the latter that in fact yields one sinking or swimming. In order to be of the faith, patience is essential. Ghaus Pak (ra) routes the path in this way;
Tafseer e Jilani: If you are not grateful, how will you seek the Pleasure of Allah and surrender yourself to that which has been destined for you. Without that surrender and acceptance, how will you become patient? If there is no patience, how will you learn to negate your ego? Without the denial of your nafs, how will you become of the faithful?”
I was surprised myself at 50 that I had not been taught patience before. But I guess everything comes in its own time. I had never thought about it so I had never written about it. The only thing I had penned was in my book “Ali is to me as I am to God” about the timing of when to exercise the attribute and that was a few years ago.
Begin excerpt “Ali is to me as I am to God”
Like grace and dignity, patience is endowed by God Almighty. Still, it could be acquired and there were two ways; prayer and the art of a discipline heretofore unknown to me; accepting a difficulty in its first minute and not lamenting it. Timing was specified to the t both by the Quran and hadith.
وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ
أُولَٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ.
“Give good news to those who endure with patience. Those who say when calamity befalls them: 'Indeed we belong to Allah and indeed it is to Him we are to return.’ Such are the people upon whom there are blessings and mercy from Allah; and they are the ones that are rightly guided.”
Surat Al-Baqarah, Ayat 155-157
The hadith I read was as follows.
حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا ثَابِتٌ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، قَالَ:
""مَرَّ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بِامْرَأَةٍ تَبْكِي عِنْدَ قَبْرٍ،
فَقَالَ: اتَّقِي اللَّهَ وَاصْبِرِي،
قَالَتْ: إِلَيْكَ عَنِّي فَإِنَّكَ لَمْ تُصَبْ بِمُصِيبَتِي وَلَمْ تَعْرِفْهُ، فَقِيلَ لَهَا:
إِنَّهُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَأَتَتْ بَابَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَلَمْ تَجِدْ عِنْدَهُ بَوَّابِينَ،
فَقَالَتْ: لَمْ أَعْرِفْكَ، فَقَالَ:
إِنَّمَا الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الْأُولَى"
‘As stated by Uns (ratu): The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was passing by a woman who was crying over a grave.
He said to her, “Be mindful and be patient (sabir).”
She replied (dismissively), “You don’t suffer from the tragedy I face.”
Then she was told that she had spoken such to the Prophet of God (peace be upon him). At once she came to his door outside which there were no guards and said, “I did not know who you were.”
And he said, “Indeed, patience is at the first stroke of the calamity.”’
My eyes went to the line “there were no guards” and it made me smile. The access was truly remarkable. I wished like I had endless times before I had been alive then. But what was even more striking was when patience had to be invoked;
“Indeed, patience is at the first stroke of the calamity.”’
How would one ever be able to do that? I guess that was the part about it having to be endowed.
My favourite part of the learning came the following week. There is a hadith about Hazrat Ume Salma (ratu) where it states that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) recited a prayer and told those listening to invoke it in their time of distress.
“She said, ‘I heard the words from him and when my husband died, I started saying the prayer.’”
It was said that her marriage was a very happy one, her husband kind, loving and so upon his death she was deeply saddened. I read the hadith with my teacher in class.
“So what do you think happened,” Ustad Ahmed asked me as we went over it line by line, “when she started saying the prayer he had given?”
I stared at the words on the page and looked up at him.
“She remarried?” I ventured a guess.
“Yes, she married again,” he said with a smile, “but whom did she marry?”
At first I was silent. How could I possibly know who she married so I kept looking at him waiting for him to inform me. He in turn said nothing waiting for my response. I looked down at the sheet again. Was the answer in the next line? I didn’t see it. Then something struck my mind and I looked up at him again. I knew my eyes had already widened before the words left my mouth.
“The Prophet (peace be upon him)?” I heard the amazement in my own voice, feeling dumbstruck.
“Yes,” Ustad Ahmed smiled pleased with my state of wonder, the hadith clearly having the effect he desired. “That is who she married next.”
I couldn’t speak. I just stared at him, then at the paper, then at him. I didn’t want to study any more that day. It was too much to take in, the power of the words rendering a result of that nature for someone. It was beyond belief.
”إِنَّا لِلّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُوْنَ ، اَللّٰهُمَّ أْجُرْنِىْ فِىْ مُصِيْبَتِىْ وَأَخْلِفْ لِىْ خَيْرًا مِنْهَا۔“
“We belong to Allah and to Allah we return. Dear God, reward me for this calamity I face and grant me something better than it.”
The first line was only known to me and possibly most Muslims, at least of South Asian descent, as what is uttered upon hearing of someone’s passing. Never for any other occasion except death. Later I found that the prayer the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) uttered for his grandson, Imam Hussain (ratu), when it was revealed to him what would happen to him in Karbala, was similar.
“Dear God, Reward him for the calamity he faces and make him patient (saabir).”
We have a phrase in Urdu, “woh din aur aaj ka din” which is literally translated as “since that day and today”, I say that prayer of Hazrat Ume Salma (ratu) every single day. As one who does the dutied 5 most of the time and no more it was a new turn in my life in terms of worship, my first add-on so to speak. I was dying to know what would be my recompense for suffering I felt I had endured.
End excerpt “Ali is to me as I am to God”
In the days before the trip I had come upon a very interesting hadith. It didn’t have anything to do with this piece but I translated it anyway. Commanding respect in the world, attaining power, being considered generous were big thing in people’s lives these days. I had heard just before heading to Naran, where again I was cut off from phones and the internet, that Bezos was going to on board the virgin flight around the planet in July that his company was offering. The final bid for the fourth seat had been for $28 million.
I wondered if he died, would Amazon become different? But then I knew the answer was “No.” I had written about that in Min al Jinnati Wa Naas.
Begin excerpt:
“I had once asked Qari Sahib what it was exactly that Iblis had promised the Prophet Adam (as) when he lured him into doing that which was forbidden to him by God.
فَوَسْوَسَ إِلَيْهِ الشَّيْطَانُ قَالَ يَا آدَمُ هَلْ أَدُلُّكَ عَلَىٰ شَجَرَةِ الْخُلْدِ وَمُلْكٍ لَّا يَبْلَىٰ
Then whispered to him Shaitaan and he said, "O Adam! Shall I direct you to (the) tree (of) life eternal and a kingdom not (that will) deteriorate?" – Surah Taha, Verse 120
Eternal life! I had come across articles over recent years on the desire of billionaires to live longer; 150 to be exact.
Sep 2nd, 2015: “6 Billionaires who want to live forever” and the first line reads, “A growing number of tech moguls are trying to solve their biggest problem yet: Aging.” Who are they; Theil - Paypal, Ellison – Oracle, Larry Page – Alpahbet, Sergey Brin – Google, Zuckerburg – Facebook, Sean Parker – Napster.” Ellison’s quote; “Death has never made any sense to me. How can a person be there and then just vanish, just not be there?”
But perhaps many people not so rich want to live forever too. It was the second part of Iblis’ lure that I was interested in.
Ghaus Pak (ra) defines the kingdom without decline in a particular way: “It is a kingdom that will only grow. It will be forever and it will be the first of its kind, not coming from another. It will never be in decline nor will it be transferred to another.”
End excerpt
Every corporation’s obsession was about control being increasingly accumulated.
The Business Times, June 12th, 2021: “JPMorgan Chase & Co. - often a standard-setter for the industry - is ordering traders, bankers, financial advisers and even some branch employees to sift through years of text messages on personal devices and set aside any related to work, according to people with knowledge of the situation.
One recent internal notice seen by Bloomberg directed recipients to not only root through their standard messages, but also platforms such as WeChat and WhatsApp, back to the start of 2018, and then save those related to work until the company's legal department tells them otherwise. It notes that failure to comply could lead to "consequences" for violating the company's code of conduct.
It's an open secret that many Wall Street denizens have been taking a certain forbidden liberty while working from home: Tapping text messages to colleagues and clients on smartphones untethered to workplace surveillance systems. Now some of them are panicking.”
So if Bezos did come back safely, what exactly would happen to his ego then? I couldn’t even imagine it.
It is narrated from Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) that he said, “The one who wishes to be honoured, it is compulsory that he become conscious of Allah and stands in awe of Him. And the one who wants to be powerful, must then be reliant on Allah. And the one who desires to be deemed generous has to know that everything belongs to Allah and he has no control over his possessions.”
Ghaus Pak (ra) gave a sharha, explanation of the words;
“Honour lies in mindfulness (of Allah) and humiliation in disobedience. And the one who seeks strength in faith has to rely on Allah alone because tawakkul, reliance, makes the qalb, the seat of station of the Recognition of Allah, guided, steadfast and obedient. Reliance grants guidance and shows the heart signs. Relying on your own self will only render you weak and powerless.
When you depend on Allah alone, He will grant you power. You will be aided by Him. He will bestow upon you His Kindness, lutf, and you will become so strong that you will not care about what comes to you from the world or what is taken away. You will not care when people lavish their attention upon you or when they turn their faces.”
The last line was my goal; I had never been the object of people’s lavish attention. I was trained and prepared for it without feeling badly. But not caring when they turn their faces. For the life of me, I could not manage to be indifferent to that. Despite knowing that fear and expectation is what causes weakness of faith.
Which brings me to the first line at the river by the PTDC. And it was the mirror that made me see how I created my own obstacles and pain all at once;
“O Listener! If you seek success, then become in agreement with that which your Lord wishes for you and oppose your nafs. In obedience of Your Lord, be in agreement with it and in your state of sin, deny it.
Your nafs is the veil that blinds you from the recognition of people. People are the second veil which prevents you from recognizing God.
So as long as you stay bound by your nafs rendering yourself limited, you will not be able to recognize people and as long as you remain stuck with people, you will not recognize God.
Just as you stay with the world, you cannot be with the Afterlife. And while you are stuck with the Afterlife, you will not be able to see God. The Creator and the created cannot be gathered together. Like the world and the Afterlife cannot be gathered.
Your nafs will always command you to do that which is harmful and take you further away from your self. That is its nature. It will take it forever to command you to do that which your qalb wishes you to do. So fight it, for Allah has already told you that each nafs has in it goodness and evil.
وَنَفْسٍ وَمَا سَوَّاهَ
فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَاهَ
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّاهَ
وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّاهَ
Consider the human self, and how it is formed in accordance with what it is meant to be,
And Allah inspired it with the knowledge to distinguish between its wickedness and righteousness.
A happy state will he attain who causes it to grow in purity.
And truly lost is he, who corrupts it, burying it in darkness.
Surah Ash-Shams, Verse 8-10
I paused my reading, put the book down and just stared at the river gushing past.
“Your nafs is the veil that blinds you from recognition of people.”
When I returned, I called Qari Sahib to first translate the lines from the original Arabic, then understand what the word “recognize” used by Ghaus Pak (ra) for people meant in this context.
He said, “It is about negating your own self and your desires and giving preference to the other person. By being sensitive to them, taking care of them and remembering their feelings instead of just fixating on your own. Consider their rights, your duties and the context they are coming from.”
Then he cited the verse about the behaviour of the Ansar when Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) emigrated to Medina;
وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌ ۚ
وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ
They give them preference over themselves, even if they themselves are needy.
And whoever is spared from their own greed, they are the successful ones.
Surah Al-Hashr, Verse 9
While in Naran, I had contemplated the “recognition” to mean mere acceptance of people. Not wanting them to change or waiting for them to change, frustrating myself in that waiting and wanting. As circumstances altered so did people’s ways of coping with them. Hence nothing remained static. But acceptance often came with judgement and self-pity.
On the other hand, Qari Sahib’s spin changed everything. Now I saw that it was purely about my nafs limiting its kindness towards who I called my loved ones. I did not recognize people because my nafs, in the overt, expressed concern and disappointment and in the inner, a hard arrogance. I was so wound up by feeling “hurt” there was no way I would ever be able to give them preference over my wounded self.
“So as long as you stay bound by your nafs rendering yourself limited, you will not be able to recognize people and as long as you remain stuck with people, you will not recognize God.”
Even without Qari Sahib’s input which came later anyway, the lines were heavy. Reading them was enough. Thinking about them would have to happen another day. I decided to walk by the river and sit in the sun for a bit. Then I headed back to the hotel to pack crossing my fingers that I would sleep.
And for whatever reason, I finally did!
Day Four – Khanian
When I left Naran and reached Khanian in Kaghan, I breathed a sigh of relief. The hotel was again not what it seemed to be on the website but the room was beautiful and it was on a spot by itself on the bank of the river. It was still early, noonish. I decided to go for a walk nearby to see if I could find any grassy spots. There were none so I took my New Yorker and went to sit in the sun.
My reading was distracted. I kept thinking of the veil of not recognizing people and people veiling me from God.
Being stuck with people, making false associations of expectation with them, was my shirk (associating anything with God). Like I would imagine it is for most Muslims. We aren’t about to suddenly start bowing down before statues and fire. Yet, for the life of us, we cannot control our hopes and anxiety attached to other people.
I felt relieved that at least we weren’t finding faults with God.
Ghaus Pak (ra) says that that those who do, it is then not only with God that they create a conflict within themselves.
“When Allah sees you in this state of holding grudges against Him, then He makes you mabghoos, begrudged. And what enters next in your heart is bughs, holding grudges, for all His Friends as well.”
That’s pretty much the end of the story!
In my reading of his sermons, I had been marveling at how much emphasis Ghaus Pak (ra) placed on food. Staying away not only from that which is forbidden but also that which is mubah’, allowed. In other words, food was clearly a major desire of the nafs.
I always tell my friend’s children, the ones now in their 20s who decide to go vegan or vegetarian while abroad that they are going halal without even knowing it as such. That they were chosen to be obedient, even if it was unintentional on their part, by never ingesting that which I was unable to give up myself until two years ago. The majority of my vacations anywhere, but especially in Portland and New York, revolved around food, which may have been organic but it was never kosher. They always smiled when I said that, pleased at the accidental windfall.
I feel happily amazed at the goodness each generation brings with it that is entirely its own and quite unprecedented. The kids being kosher, the little ones otherwise plugged into their devices like sockets, yet fasting for days on end in Ramadan at ages as young as 10. That was certainly out of the question for my generation.
They were learning the practice of taqwa, restraint, much earlier than we did. We didn’t deny ourselves anything till we were much older. Granted we didn’t experience instant gratification either but still. We were trained to be obedient. They were being willfully so. And that was the obedience that is dearest to God, the one that comes willingly.
Without several hours of driving, the day at the hotel was passing ultra slowly so I decided to read Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani again. I knew I would come upon that which occupied my being entirely, sabr and indeed I did.
“The one who bears the difficulty of destined hardship silently, sip by sip, in a state of steadfastness, becomes Allah’s Beloved.
This is where Ghaus Pak (ra) explained the magic of patience;
“Allah places you in hardship precisely because He loves you. As you increase your obedience to His Orders and stay away from that which has been prohibited, His Love for you will also increase. And as you exercise patience on the hardships that come upon you from Him, you will gain qurb, closeness, with Him.
AA Friend of God says, ‘It is not acceptable to Allah that He hurts the one He loves. However, the difficulties are so that one is tested and the fruit they yield is becoming saabir, patient. (The beauty of sabr is that, when attained, a difficulty does not seem a difficulty).”
For someone like me who needs to at least be aware of the prize for spiritual struggle, I finally saw the brass ring; if I became patient, the difficulty would not even be a difficulty. It would become a blessing that is good for me.
عن صهيب قال رسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم:
عَجَبًا لأمرِ المؤمنِ إِنَّ أمْرَه كُلَّهُ لهُ خَيرٌ
وليسَ ذلكَ لأحَدٍ إلا للمُؤْمنِ
إِنْ أصَابتهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ فكانتْ خَيرًا لهُ
وإنْ أصَابتهُ ضَرَّاءُ صَبرَ فكانتْ خَيرًا لهُ
Said the Prophet of God (peace be upon him), “Amazing is the state of the Believer (Mo’min). In all his matters is goodness and this is for no one except the Believer. If happiness reaches him, he expresses gratitude so that is good for him. And if comes to him adversity, he is patient so that is good for him.”
For the umpteenth time, I remembered the words of Hazrat Rabia Basri (ra) who used to cry on the days she didn’t face a difficulty. She said on those days she felt like her Lord God forgot her. She was sad when she didn’t face a situation that tested her nature, her character, her behavior, her claim of love.
It’s so hard when one’s claim of love is tested. Everything becomes revealed in a single moment. What I realized from the words was that the people in my life who disappointed me were in fact going to be only avenues for reaching the exalted state of saabir as well. The trick was to detach but the detachment had to remain ingrained in love.
Otherwise, I have found the common practice of detachment to only breed indifference. Sometimes one feels we have detached from everyone but the tongue betrays us every single time. For unless it is kind, soft, gentle, it’s yet another farce.
Thankfully, the first step towards everything was now easy for me; admission of guilt with deep repentance. That happened for me on a daily basis, throughout the day on occasion. The tears wiped my slate clean, admittedly only for me to scribble on it sometimes minutes later. But the slate was wiped clean as if anew.
I realized that any spiritual change that does stick never comes through me but only through another’s prayer. The other being a Friend of God.
In the weeks I spent in Bagh e Jinnah constructing tables, towards the end I started going to a shrine in the park for a daily prayer. It had been on my mind since the beginning because it was shrine beloved to my mother but it didn’t come to pass until Shuggy Aunty asked me to take her there. I was elated of course. She had been praying two nafal as a hadya, gift, in the name of the person of the shrine, Hazrat Pir Sakhi Turat Murad Shah (ra), for 30 odd years.
I knew from prior experience that going to a shrine with her meant a certain kind of welcome because she was special to them. There weren’t a lot of people in the world sending them a gift of love every single night for decades. The most wonderful part of the shrine was that unlike most in Pakistan, women were allowed to enter the place where the blessed grave was. In our case, the city was in a lockdown so not only were we the only ones in the park but also the shrine.
Shuggy Aunty was talking to him the minute we entered the courtyard.
“Salam Alaikum Baba ji,” I heard her say happily as I followed her. I smiled. Her manner with the Saints was always child-like.
Inside we prayed Asr, then two nafal of hazari, marking our presence there. I prayed for love for everyone in the world. For light to dispel our heart’s darkness. For at least interspersed moments of happiness.
When we were leaving, Shuggy Aunty took a rose from amongst the ones strewn on top of the grave upon a chadar and said, “I’m taking this Baba Ji. I came after so many years. I want to take something back with me.”
A keepsake! In emulation, I picked up a rose as well and
repeated her words. I placed mine in Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani.
The word Turat in his name means “instant” as in prayers made there are answered by Allah instantly. Shuggy Aunty told me that the next time I saw her because she had asked for some help relating to a real estate deal she was closing that was being held up. I took her again the following week, she said she had to go four times and again whatever she asked for happened within a day.
After I heard that the second time, I started thinking about praying for something specific for myself as well. Sabr was the hurdle I could not seem to cross, the attribute I could not seem to imbue. The evidence of its manifestation of it for me was going to be the tongue. I thought about praying for silence but then got worried about becoming mute. I still had the tables to finish. I decided to word my request the way I usually do at a shrine, surrendering myself to the Friend of God.
“Please pray for me, Hazrat Sahib, for that which I need in my life for it to peaceful and for me to be good before my Lord.”
I mentioned a few other things I failed at miserably all the time too.
The tables got finished. I went to Islamabad. Once there, I discovered there was something new about me that was almost startling. Every time I thought something negative about someone, it wouldn’t stick.
If a thought came to my head from my nafs which wanted to whine and be critical about a person, I felt the thought leave my head but not enter my heart. It was like there was a shield around it. So when it emanated from my brain and traveled to it, upon arrival it was repelled which caused it to dissipate. It was startling. That is the best word to describe it.
When I noticed it happening, which wasn’t often because I don’t think negatively about most people anyway but do tend to ask myself unanswerable questions, I was taken aback. Those questions are a major drag because I start making up answers and they’re always all false. In any case, I arrived in Islamabad and with my headspace freed up simply by being in another city on a holiday, I began to see what was happening more clearly.
Mostly it would happen at night and I would lie in bed bewildered. Even my nafs, confused, started asking me weird questions.
“Who’s doing that? Me or you? Why can’t I think what I want for as long as I want to think it?”
I had no answer. It was so strange, I couldn’t even tell if I was happy about it. There wasn’t much time to dwell on it anyway.
A day later I headed for Naran and being alone meant I forgot about people anyway. I had wondered if it was happening because of a line from my speech at the launch;
“Today’s world is strange indeed in many ways. To me the strangest of all things is that people don’t have any expectation of another human being and feel proud about that. But only in their zahir, the overt being. In their batin, the inner, they feel tortured about the very same thing.
But if the goal is to be reliant only upon Allah and instead of finding flaws and fault in other human beings, to think of them in a good way, then the path is only one. And it is explained to me by Nabi Kareem (saw) in the following hadith;”
Then I read the hadith that I am totally obsessed with since my eyes came upon it.
“The Momin is the one who loves and is loved. And there is no goodness for the one who does not give love and receive love. The best amongst people is the one who gives others benefit.”
Badgumani is the word for when there is a negative thought attached to another person. The softer translation for it that Shuggy Aunty gave me when I asked her what it meant in English was “misunderstanding.” A misunderstanding about another person because of suspicion and doubt, mistrust. A sense of betrayal or an expectation of the worst.
In my next namaz in Naran, the dots were connected for me.
The first veil is that the nafs, the egoistic self, is either judging and berating people, silently or in voice or distrusting them. Holding grudges against them. What starts as a negative thought is then ultimately articulated by the tongue.
Bughs was not a small thing. One of the most powerful hadith Qudsi all Muslims are familiar with but for some reason never take seriously is this:
تُفْتَحُ أَبْوَابُ الْجَنَّةِ يَوْمَ الِاثْنَيْنِ، وَيَوْمَ الْخَمِيسِ،
فَيُغْفَرُ لِكُلِّ عَبْدٍ لَا يُشْرِكُ بِاللَّهِ شَيْئًا، إِلَّا رَجُلًا كَانَتْ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ أَخِيهِ شَحْنَاءُ،
فَيُقَالُ: (1) أَنْظِرُوا (2) هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا، أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا، أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا"
“The gates of Paradise will be opened on Mondays and on Thursdays, and every servant (of Allah) who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. (About them) it will be said: Delay these two until they are reconciled; delay these two until they are reconciled.
I didn’t even know the last part. “Delay theses two until they are reconciled.”
The tongue could never be controlled unless the thought was first controlled. But how is a thought controlled? For me the best I could do was identify it the second it appeared thanks again to Hazrat Sahel Tustari (ra);
“The heart’s determination can be coerced so that one can return to God, Mighty and Majestic is He, and place the dilemma before Him. Then a person should force on themselves and on their heart a state of rejection (of that sin) which should never leave them, for if they become inattentive to that state of rejection for just the blinking of the eye, it is to be feared that they will not remain safe from it."
I had been practicing that like a maniac since I read it. The ease it brought me was indescribable. And it made me hone in on the fact that the “sin” was the injustice I inflicted upon myself, causing distress, disturbance and pain. Through the line, any negative feeling I was harbouring against anyone disappeared within a couple of days, if not sooner.
For in any case, “that which I love cannot be made detestable to me.” I told every one of my friends about it. The key, like in all things spiritual, lay in the discipline of recognizing a thought and countering it instantly. Like patience, in the first moment of a calamity’s appearance.
The difference though was that my application was immediate only when I could possibly feel bad because of the thought. If it was instead just negative related to another person, who I may or may not really even interact with at all, I didn’t say Hazrat Tustari’s (ra) prayer of rejection and surrender. I indulged my opinion, basically back-biting in my own head.
Another vice Muslims ignore all too easily despite the Quran saying its like being a carnivore.
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱجْتَنِبُوا۟ كَثِيرًا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ ۖ
وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَ
يُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ
وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ
O you who attained to faith! Avoid much of assumption.
Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy and do not backbite one another.
Would like one of you to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would hate it.
So remain mindful of Allah. Indeed, Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.
Surah Al-Hujurat, Verse 12
I never felt badly enough doing that to make me exercise the discipline. So when the thought, which would otherwise remain for as long as I wanted it to, began being rejected by something inside me without my own volition, it was stupefying. Because literally someone else and something else was doing it. That someone I began to realize was a Friend of God and the something was his prayer for me to stop being badguman, a harbourer of doubt and distrust, a cradler of misunderstanding.
The words of Iqbal that Abida had painted for me on a giant canvas in my bedroom suddenly came to light;
پندار نیک گفتار نیک کردار نیک
Good thoughts, good speech, good character!
Part II cont'd at: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51243161980/in/datepos...
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha
“She was banging on my door at 2 o’clock this morning,” grumbled Hydra.
“Good grief,” said Cloud.
“She was shouting, ‘for feck sake! Your music’s loud. Do you know what the time is?'” moaned Hydra.
“Ah,” said Cloud. “Did you know the time?”
“Yeah,” said Hydra, “a standard 4/4 rock beat.”
-
A quite literal, badaboomtish! :)
TellyTube Edition: youtu.be/eVlou19uwE8
LittleFears.co.uk
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Knowing what to do or where to go at weekends is now easy, I just consult the list of churches and pick a group close at random, and we can load up the car and go.
Main issue is that most of the churches on the list are now in west and north Kent, meaning a bit of a hike to get there, and on top of that, not knowing if your target will be open.
So, with the three churches chosen, postcodes noted, we can prepare for the morning.
Make coffee, feed the cats, fill up the bird feeders and make bacon butties to give us a decent start to the day.
Saturday was dark and gloomy, not a good day perhaps to do church crawling, but what else is there: too gloomy certainly for wildflowers, those that are out. And the flat light, can be good for photography in churches. At least that is what I tell myself.
Off up the A20 to Folkestone, and from there up the motorway, where, after Ashford, Highways England are removing the Operation Brock contraflow barriers. Now, I know I said no more Brexit, but an observation here: Kent MPs lobbied the PM to have these removed as it was a major pain for locals, but the threat of no deal and/or traffic jams caused by increased paperwork check is higher now, and the hundreds of thousands now being spent taking the barriers down could be spent again putting it back up later in the year.
In Brexit, anything is possible.
But back to the churchcrawling.
We turn off at Maidstone, go through Leeds up the down, where along the ridge there are a series of churches overlooking the low-laying land to the south, where the churches served a series of impressive houses set in sloping parkland. From Leeds through Sutton to the two Boughtons, at east half a dozen churches stand looking down on west Kent.
Eighteen months ago, I visited the two Boughtons, and also East Sutton, not realising there were two other churches in Sutton: Valence and Chart. I passed Sutton Valence just as a vintage Rolls depsosited a bride at the lych gate on the "main road". So, no point in trying to crawl that back on the warm September afternoon, but was on my list since then for a return.
And here we were.
The sat nav took us down a narrow lane, with a space large enough to abandon the car in, while I get my gear and walk to the church, trailing behind JOols who had gone to check the door. I get the thumbs up to indicate it was open.
Good news.
Sadly, the church has been stripped of most of its character and history. It is a fine church, nothing wrong with it, but few monuments, no brasses, no medieval features, so my job of recording it was completed in a few minutes. Another tick in the box done, though.
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Stunningly situated on the Greensand Way, yet not altogether enjoying the views, this church is more interesting than beautiful. Incorporating part of a late fifteenth century structure (chancel piers and transept arches) this is predominantly an 1820s church built wide and tall to fit in galleries which were the norm. A blocked door from the tower stairs would have led into the southernmost gallery. Then the in the nineteenth century Mr Habershon, architect to the establishment, Gothicised the church by removing the galleries and fitting arcades to form aisles. He also added tracery to the windows and tried to create a medieval space. It is not unsuccessful. The only weak part is the chancel which ahs a canted apse which speaks of its pre-Ecclesiological origins. The font survives from the medieval church as does a fine thirteenth century coffin lid in the north aisle. Recent redecoration of red carpet and red ceiling has successfully linked the two elements and created a most welcoming and cared for building.
www.kentchurches.info/church.asp?p=Sutton+Valence
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TOWN SUTTON, ALIAS SUTTON VALENCE,
IS the next parish eastward from Chart Sutton. It has the name of Valence from that eminent family, who continued long owners of it, and is called Town Sutton from the largeness of the village or town of it, in comparison of those of the adjoining parishes of the same name.
THE PARISH of Town Sutton is situated much like that of Chart Sutton last described, and the soil the same, being about the hill, the quarry stone covered with a thin loam, fertile for corn, fruit and hops; above it a red earth mixed with flints, and below the hill a stiff clay, rendered more prolific by the mixture of marle with it. The village, now a poor mean place, is situated a little lower than the summit of the quarry hill, having the church at the west end of it; the manor-house stands on the small green adjoining the church-yard, having an extensive view over the country southward. The road from Chart to East Sutton, of but little traffic, leads through the village, and another crosses it from Langley down the hill into the Weald; at a small distance below the village is Sutton-place and the parsonage, and below the foot of the hill the little manor of Forsham, formerly the estate of the Austens, baronets, beyond which this parish extends southward across a low flat country, deep, wet, and miry, till it joins that of Hedcorne; above the village it joins to Kingswood, part of which is within it.
On the brow of the hill at a small distance eastward from the village, and adjoining to the parsonage-yard, stand the venerable ruins of SUTTON CASTLE, now almost covered with ivy, and the branches of the trees which sprout out from the walls of it. What remains of it seems, to have been the keep or dungeon of this fortress, two separate rooms of which are still in being; and by the cavities where the joists have been laid into the walls, appear to have been at least a story higher than they are at present. The remains of the walls are more than three feet in thickness, and about twenty feet high, and have loop-holes for arrows at proper distances; they are composed of the quarry stone and flint mixed, together with some few thin bricks or paying tiles interspersed throughout. The whole appears to have been exceeding strong, though of very rude workmanship; and seems to have been built in the time of the barons wars, most likely by one of the family of Valence, earls of Pembroke, whilst the church and its demesnes yet remained as appendages to their manor of Sutton Valence, and the part of their possessions. It stands high, commanding a most extensive view over the adjacent country southward, and was most probably made use of as a place of defence for the partizans of the lords of it, to make their excursions from, and retreat again to, when likely to be overpowered by their enemies. Fronting the title of this volume is a view of it in its present state.
Kilburne imagines the sea came up this valley underneath Sutton castle, which he supposes to have been built when it did so; and he seems to be confirmed in that opinion by an anchor's having been found not far below it, in the memory of some men then living.
A fair is kept in this village yearly, on the day of St. Edmond the king, on the 20th of November.
THIS PLACE was given by William the Conqueror, on his obtaining the crown of this realm, to his halfbrother Odo, bishop of Baieux; it having been part of the possessions of Leoswine, a younger brother of king Harold, who was slain fighting on his brother's part, at the fatal battle of Hastings; accordingly it is thus entered, under the general title of the bishop's lands, in the survey of Domesday:
Adam Fitzhubert holds of the bishop of Baieux, Sudtone. It was taxed at two sulings. The arable land is seven carucates. In demesne there are two, and eighteen villeins, with five borders, having four carucates. There is a church and four acres of meadow, and one mill. Wood for fifty hogs. In the time of king Edward the Confessor it was worth twelve pounds, when he received it ten pounds, now fourteen pounds, and yet it pays eighteen pounds. Earl Leuuin held it.
Four years after the taking this survey, the bishop was disgraced, and this among the rest of his possessions was confiscated to the crown. After which it became the property of Baldwin de Betun, earl of Albermarle, who in the 5th year of king John's reign, granted this manor, among others in this county, to William Mareschal, earl of Pembroke, with Alice his daughter, in frank marriage.
In the 10th year of king Henry III. he again married Alianore, the king's sister, and in the 14th year of that reign had a confirmation of this manor, upon condition that Alianore his wife, if she survived him, should enjoy it during her life. He died in the 15th year of that reign, s. p. on which the Sheriff had the king's precept to deliver possession of it to his widow. She afterwards re-married Simon de Montfort, earl of Leicester, who was slain in the 49th year of that reign, fighting on the part of the discontented barons, at the battle of Evesham; after which, the countess Alianore and her children were forced to forsake the realm, and she died sometime afterwards in the nunnery of Montarges, in France.
In the mean time the four brothers of William, earl of Pembroke, successively earls of Pembroke, being dead s. p. their inheritance became divided between the heirs of their five sisters, when the manor of Sutton was allotted among others, to Joane, the second sister, then the widow of Warine de Montchensie, (fn. 1) by whom she had one son William, and a daughter Joane, married to William de Valence, the king's half-brother, who in her right became possessed of it. He died in the 23d year of king Edward I. leaving Joane his widow surviving, who had this manor assigned to her as part of her dowry, when it was found to be held of the king in capite, and that it was of the king's marechasly. She left one son, Adomar, or Aymer de Valence, earl of Pembroke, and three daughters,
Aymer, earl of Pembroke, the son, on her death became possessed of this manor. He was murdered in France in the 17th year of king Edward II. being then possessed of this manor of Sutton Valence, for so it was now usually called, and leaving no issue by either of his wives, for he was three times married, his three sisters above-mentioned became his coheirs; of whom Isabel married to John de Hastings, of Bergavenny, seems to have had this manor allotted to her, as part of her share in the inheritance. In consequence of this match, the arms of Hastings quartering Valence, were put up by some of his descendants on the roof of Canterbury cloysters, where they now remain. She was then a widow, her husband having deceased in the 6th year of that reign, leaving John de Hastings his son and heir; who likewise died anno 18 Edward II. leaving no issue by Juliana de Leyborne his then wife. But by his former wife he had one son, Lawrence, who was in the 13th year of king Edward III. made earl of Pembroke, by reason of his descent from Isabel, the eldest sister and coheir of Aymer de Valence, earl of Pembroke; and he died possessed of this manor in the 22d year of that reign, as did his grandson John, earl of Pembroke, s. p. in the 13th year of king Richard II. about which time I find this manor stiled in some records the manor of Sutton Hastings, which name however it soon dropped, and resumed its former one of Valence. Philippa, countess of Pembroke, survived her husband, and afterwards re-married Richard Fitzalan, earl of Arundel, and died in the possession of this manor in the 2d year of king Henry IV. she then bearing the title of countess of Pembroke, when Reginald lord Grey, of Ruthin, became entitled to it, as next of kin, and heir of Aymer, earl of Pembroke; and as such, at the coronation of king Henry the IVth, he carried the great golden spurs. After which being taken prisoner in Wales, by Owen Glendower, he was obliged to give ten thousand marcs for his ransom. To raise which, king Henry in his 4th year, granted licence to Robert Braybrooke, bishop of London, and others, feoffees of several of Reginald's lordships, to sell this manor among others towards the raising of that sum.
They sold it soon afterwards, as it should seem, to St. Leger, for Juliana, widow of Thomas St. Leger, esq. of Otterden, died possessed of it in the 5th year of the next regin of king Henry the Vth. Soon after which it became the property of William Clifford, esq. son of Sir Lewis Clifford, descended from the Cliffords, of Clifford-castle, in Herefordshire, who bore for his arms, Chequy or and azure on a fess gules, a crescent for difference, all within a bordure argent. He was sheriff in the 4th and 13th years of king Henry the VIth, and died three years afterwards, leaving by Eleanor his wife, sister and sole heir of Arnold Savage, esq. of Bobbing, two sons, Lewis and John, of whom Lewis Clifford, the eldest son, died in his life time, leaving a son Alexander, who was of Bobbing, esq. and on his mother's death, in the 19th year of Henry VI. succeeded to this manor. After which it continued in his name down to his grandson Nicholas Clifford, who leaving a sole daughter and heir, Mildred, she carried it in marriage to Sir George Harpur, (fn. 2) who resided at Sutton Valence, where he kept his shrievalty in the 2d year of king Edward VI. and in the windows of the manor house were formerly the coats of arms of the family of Clifford, and their several matches; and among others of Clifford impaling Culpeper, Savage, and Bourne. On the gateway was carved Clifford impaling Isley, quartering Fremingham, and a shield of Isley quartering Fremingham. In the windows of the hall was the coat of Harpur, Argent, a lion rampant sable, within a bordure engrailed of the second, with all its quarterings, and the same impaling Gaynsford, and a coat, Argent, a saltier gules, within a border sable, Bezantee, for De La Poyle. After his death she remarried Sir Edward Moore, who afterwards settled at Mellefont, in Ireland. By her first husband she left a son Edward, who was knighted, and by her second she had several children.
¶She seems to have entitled both her husbands to the possession of this manor during her life, after which it became the property of her son Sir Edward Harpur, who alienated it to Sir Edward Hales, knight and baronet, who died possessed of it in 1654, upon which it came to his grandson and heir, Sir Edward Hales, bart. whose trustees sold it in 1670 to Sir William Drake, of Agmondesham, in Buckinghamshire, and he settled part of it in jointure in 1675, on Elizabeth his wife, daughter, and at length sole heir of William Montague, chief baron of the exchequer, their son, Montague Drake, esq. of Agmondesham, left by Mary, sole daughter and heir of Sir John Gerrard, bart. of Hertfordshire, a son Montague Gerrard Drake, whose trustees, during his infancy, anno 5 queen Anne, having procured an act for that purpose, in 1708 sold this manor with the demesnes, and other estates in this and the adjoining parishes (excepting such of them as were in jointure to dame Elizabeth, widow of Sir William Drake as above mentioned, then the wife of Samuel Trotman, esq. of Siston, in Gloucestershire) to Sir Christopher Desbouverie, of Chart Sutton, (fn. 3) who afterwards in 1720, purchased of Montague Gerrard Drake, esq. the remainder of his estates which had been settled in jointure on his mother as above-mentioned, and so became possessed of the entire fee of them. He died possessed of this manor in 1733, and was buried at Beechworth, in Surry. Since which this manor has descended in like manner as those of Langley and Chart before described, to his youngest daughter, Mrs. Elizabeth Bouverie, now of Teston, the present owner of it. A court leet and court baron is held for this manor.
But though this manor, on the division of Sir Christopher Desbouverie's estates between his two daughters and coheirs, after the death of their two brothers, who both died s. p. was allotted to the youngest, Elizabeth, yet several farms and lands in the out-parts of this and the adjoining parishes, were allotted to the eldest daughter Anne, married to John Hervey, esq. afterwards of Beechworth, which on his death descended to his only son Christopher Hervey, esq.
It should be noticed here, that in the 10th year of king George II. an act passed enabling the family of Desbouverie to use the surname of Bouverie only, in pursuance to the desire of Jacob Desbouverie, esq. and Sir Christopher Desbouverie, deceased.
Charities.
WILLIAM LAMBE, sometime a gentleman of the chapel to king Henry VIII. and a great favorite of that prince, was of the company of cloth-workers, in London, and among many other extensive charities, out of his great love for learning, and for the place where he was born, erected in 1578, at his own proper costs and charges, a free grammer school, in this parish, for the education and instruction of youth, allowing yearly to the moster 20l. and 10l. yearly to the usher from time to time, as either place should be supplied by succession, and to the former a good house and garden to reside in.
MR. GEORGE MAPLESDEN, in 1713, left by will 5l. per annum for 30 English usher, to be appointed by the master of the school.
THERE ARE LIKEWISE two exhibitions of ten pounds per annum each, given to St. John's college, in Cambridge, by will in 1720, by the Rev. Francis Robbins, B. D. who had been fellow of that college, for the benefit of two scholars educated at this school.
The Rev. John Griffin is the present master of this school.
MR. WILLIAM LAMBE, above-mentioned, also founded in the village of Town Sutton six alms-houses, having an orchard and gardens to them, for the benefit of six poor inhabitants of this parish, and allotted the sum of ten pounds to be divided among them yearly, and entrusted the company of cloth-workers with the estates and direction of these charities. By some means 6l. of the above sum has been some-time with-held, and 4l. only is paid yearly. The poor inhabitants are usually appointed by the master of the school. The arms of the founder, being a fess between three cinquefoils, are carved in stone on the front of the alms-houses.
THE REV. MR. ROBBINS above-mentioned, left likewise 3l. to be paid yearly on March 11, to the poor of this parish, by the church-wardens, vested in Mrs. Felicia and Elizabeth Smith.
TOWN SUTTON is within the ECCLESIASTICAL JURISDICTION of the diocese of Canterbury, and deanry of Sutton, to which it was once so considerable as to give name.
The church which stands at a small distance westward from the village, is dedicated to St. Mary. It is a handsome church, the steeple stands on the north side of it, and had a high spire on it formerly, the upper half of which having been burnt down by lightning, it is at that part flat and covered with lead.
This church was antiently an appendage to the manor of Sutton Valence, in which state it continued down to John de Hastings, earl of Pembroke, lord of that manor, who died possessed of it in the 49th year of king Edward II. as appears by the escheat rolls of that year. Soon after which it must have passed into the possession of the priory of Leeds; for in the 2d year of the next reign of king Richard II. that king granted his licence to the above-mentioned priory, to appropriate this church; and it was confirmed to the priory by patents of the 18th and 20th years of king Henry VI. when at the request of the prior and cannons there, the parish church of East Sutton, likewise of their patronage, was united to this church, to which it has been ever since esteemed as a chapel.
On the dissolution of the priory of Leeds in the reign of king Henry VIII. this parsonage, with the advowson of the vicarage, and the chapel of East Sutton annexed, came into the hands of the crown, where it did not continue long, for the king settled it in his 32d year on his new-erected dean and chapter of Rochester, part of whose inheritance it still remains.
The parsonage, with the manor annexed to it, has been for many years held in lease from the dean and chapter, by the family of Payne. Edward Payne, esq. of London, who has been already mentioned before, died in 1794, possessed of the lease of it, and his heirs are now entitled to it.
The advowson of the vicarage is reserved by the dean and chapter in their own hands.
¶On the abolition of deans and chapters, after the death of king Charles the 1st, this parsonage was surveyed by order of the state in 1649, when it was returned, that the parsonage of Sutton Valence, with the rights of it, and the manor or parsonage-house, three barns, a stable, and several other necessary outhouses, with a yard, garden and orchard, containing by estimation two roods, together with the tithes, were altogether worth sixty pounds per annum. All which were let by the late dean and chapter, anno 16 Charles I. to Thomas Shipton, gent. for twenty-one years, at the yearly rent of fourteen pounds, and one quarter of wheat, two quarters of oats, and one good brawn every Christmas; which rent was valued at 18l. 16s. and that the premises were worth upon improvement over and above the said rent 56l. 2s. per annum.
The vicarage of Sutton Valence is endowed with all tithes whatsoever, except corn and hay. It is valued in the king's books at 7l. 9s. 7d. and the yearly tenths at 14s. 11½d.
In 1640 it was valued at seventy-three pounds. Communicants, 226.
The vicar of Sutton Valence serves the cure of the church of East Sutton, as a chapel annexed to it; and as such is entitled to the vicarial tithes of that parish in right of his vicarage, he being presented and inducted to the vicarage of Sutton Valence, with the chapel of East Sutton annexed.
On knowing when to head for the bunker
One of the most startling pieces of advice I ever got was “skip class”.
What made it startling was the fact that it came from my high school biology teacher, George Arnall, a big, kind-hearted Aussie and the first eccentric I ever met.
George was a great teacher: he made up a song about the details of Tay-Sachs disease which I still remember, chewed out the goofballs when they needed it and walked scowling through the classroom saying things like “sometimes I’d rather be a plant.” The advice to skip class came during the lead-up to final AP exams, giving us permission to ignore everything and focus on study. It’s a simple concept, but I wouldn’t have thought of it on my own.
Ever since then, I’ve used that trick whenever information overload starts to make me crazy. I can feel it coming on, and that’s my cue to get off facebook, answer only essential e-mails, turn off the phone and get some damn work done. Or just shut out the noise to get the peace and mental space I need to think and create, because after all, productivity isn’t everything.
Does information overload make you crazy too? What are some of your tricks for dealing with it?
This week’s link is to a geeky interactive website about the scale of the universe that puts things in perspective, visually: www.htwins.net/scale2/
The pic is the view from in front of my local post office the other day mixed with a recent Croatian sky.
And that’s it!
Knowing I was going to be out of action for a few weeks due to a hospital stay, I made the most of getting out for the day with my sister. We came across this attractive Viaduct that runs along side the pretty village of Eynesford. After a visit to Eagle Heights less than a mile away we stopped for a delicious lunch at The Plough in the centre of Eynesford village, highly recommended - that's the pub/restaurant! NOT Eagle Heights :(
Remember the “knowing is half the battle” public service announcements at the end of each episode of G.I. Joe cartoons? Even as a little kid, I thought they were super lame and hilarious.
source:
Miracle of the child
God bought you out of your mothers womb knowing nothing at all …..
www.scribd.com/doc/18543292/Harun-Yahya-Islam-Miracle-of-...
"Each child is born in a state of "pure monotheism", then his parents make him a Jew, Christian or another religion” (Bukhari)
www.thelastingmiracle.com/eng/article.aspx?id=1&cat=1
According to this statement of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), everyone enters this world with the basic knowledge of the oneness of God and the difference between right and wrong. Of course after being born innocent, we are all then subject to the influence of our family and society at large. If a child is born to non-Muslim parents then it can be assumed that they will raise their child according to their own system of belief. The child has no say in the matter until they reach the age of discernment. However, all humans are born with the instinctive attachment to God without the influence of doctrine. This spirituality draws them closer to the Creator of this World. For many, this inclination opens their eyes and causes them to reflect upon the validity of their own beliefs. It also empowers them to ask questions and seek knowledge to ensure that they are following the correct path of righteousness.
The right to choose our own religion is the most powerful choice any of us can make. Some humans choose to believe and worship in a certain manner because that is what they saw their parents doing. Others turn down the misguided path of Atheism, perhaps, because they have become disillusioned with religion altogether or because a smooth-talking scientist caught their attention with their assertions that this World merely evolved by chance. Even a child could make an argument to refute this claim that has taken, so-called, scientists years to formulate. For example, if a child indiscriminately throws several building blocks into the air, the blocks land randomly to the floor. The blocks don’t land in the formation of a perfectly stacked building! Neither do they land in any form whatsoever. The same thing goes for the universe. We see a vast system of complex organization, especially here on the Earth. Everything is explicitly planned and structured according to a plan. So, who planned it all?
The Planner
The answer to who planned this Universe and everything in it can be found in your own heart. Why does your heart beat? If you ask a Scientist he will say that it is electricity from your brain. But where did that electricity come from? Are you plugged into something? How do our bodies function at all? The stomach digests food more efficiently than any manmade machine ever could. Everything that exists, whether it is the human body or the stars in the sky, was intelligently designed by the command of the Most Wise and Gracious Creator.
The Reality
In His infinite Love, Compassion and Beneficence, God Almighty sent Prophets (pbut) to guide humanity to live a spiritual life of worship and piety towards others. He supported His Prophets (pbut) with miracles to shake man out of his slumber and open his eyes to their Lord. These miracles have been recorded in all the books of God and prove that there is a Master Creator who not only created this Universe but has complete control over it. God created the Laws of Nature and can change them at will.
Seekers of truth often reach a point of confusion upon realizing that believers of every religion, sect or philosophy all claim to have the one and only correct ideology. For those who believe in God there are only three possibilities:
-Everyone is right.
-Everyone is wrong.
-Only one is right and the rest are following religions that have been tainted by the hands of man.
However, everyone cannot be right since each religion differs from the other in their basic foundations. Every religion views the nature of God and how we relate to Him differently. Similarly, everyone cannot be wrong. Many people believe that all religions are wrong because of the evils of man who happened to claim religion. As a result, many humans have followed a path of Atheism or left it up to themselves to determine who Allah is and how He should be worshipped. That’s why God sent Muhammad (pbuh) with the Qur’an as the last chance for mankind to get it right and worship the One and Only God who has no partner in His divinity or dominion. Even critics of Islam have no choice but to concede to the fact that the Holy Quran is the only Scripture that has not been tampered with and is in agreement with modern science.
God Almighty has provided us with guidance to lighten our path and lead us back to Him. We innately lack the knowledge and wisdom to hold such a responsibility by ourselves. God is most perfectly Just. He has given us a chance to make our lives full of purpose during our time on Earth so that we can be judged fairly on the Day of Judgment.
The reality is that only one religion can be right. Indeed God sent Prophets to all people throughout the ages. It was the responsibility of religious leaders to preserve the scriptures and apply their laws from Prophet to Prophet and nation-to-nation. No doubt they failed. Muslims believe that God revealed the same religion to each Prophet. That religion was Islam, which means to submit to the Will of God and seeking His Forgiveness in sincere repentance when coming up short.
Other religions are called by different names like Judaism and Christianity. However, these names are manmade labels. In the Bible, for example, there is not an instance where Jesus (pbuh) refers to his religion as ‘Christianity’. Islam means to live in submission to the One and only God. I ask the sincere reader who believes in Prophets, Did those Prophets teach anything else but living a life seeking to please God in submission to His will? Of course they did. The Holy Qur’an repetitively states that the Prophets called mankind to Islam.
Clearing your Prejudices
For seekers of the truth, when choosing your own religion consider these points:
-God gave us the ability and intellect to make this crucial decision, hence it is our decision and we don't need our parents, family, or society to make it for us.
-God did not leave us to go astray without any guidance. Indeed, He sent us Prophets (pbut) with scriptures to show us the right path. The proof of this is in the various miracles performed by these Prophets (pbut), which have been recorded throughout time.
-Seeking the pure message of God is vital as all humans will be called to account for their chosen faith and actions in life, which will inevitably determine thier eternity.
-One can only make a fair rational decision in seeking the right religion if emotions and prejudices, which often blind one to the truth, are put aside.
Is Islam Right for You?
You may have never thought that one day you would be able to change the religion your parents taught you about. Remember that nothing is set in stone and you have a right to believe as you see fit. When thinking about Islam for your religion, consider these facts about it:
* Islam is consistent with logic and rational thinking.
* Islam opens the door for anyone to challenge its authenticity. It also provokes you and shows you how to challenge it, that you may achieve certainty in it.
* Islam provides the needed answers for all important and fundamental questions concerning God, the purpose of life, and the Hereafter.
* Islam is supported by contemporary miracles and proofs. For example, the Holy Quran that was revealed 1,400 years ago reveals innumerable miracles that are 100% compatible with recently established science. Read "The Bible, the Quran, and Science" by Maurice Bucaille who accepted Islam after researching for this book.
* Islam combines the awareness of the Hereafter with our daily lives making a strong bond between the two through our sense of accountability.
* Islam is more than a "religion" in common terminology. It truly is a comprehensive system of life with a detailed law and ethical system. It establishes systems for worship, family living, government, politics, education, economics and social relations.
* Islam is based on a established system of law founded on authentic texts (statements of God and His messenger). It is not based upon human emotion, philosophies or religious hierarchies that have no solid foundation in authentic revelation.
* Islam encourages people to seek knowledge and contribute to the world.
* Islam provides true equality, solving the age-old problems of race and gender. Islam treats all believers as equals irrespective of race, gender, nationality, or social status.
The choice is yours to make. Don’t rely on what others say or be afraid to forge your own path. Take a chance read through our website and get an English translation of the Holy Qur’an to truly discover what Islam is really all about!
Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it. - Doe Zantamata
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Original photo credit: LATUPEIRISSA