View allAll Photos Tagged coping
Your experience feels as though it's beyond explanation—trapped in terror, alone, isolated, the past takes over, fuzzy details, immobilized, panic, visionless, shaking in fear, re-living overwhelming buried emotions and tormenting physical experiences, voiceless, re-experiencing the unspeakable, difficulty breathing, sometimes completely unable to breathe, awful intensity that steals a desire to survive and live. In this state it seems impossible to even imagine there could be a window of escape, like you will always be held captive by evil. And somehow, you’ve survived these moments, though you’re often not sure how you keep fighting when your strength is failing. Slowly you are gaining more insight into your experience as you work so hard to keep fighting for life.
[image created on 2-23-2024]
Recently I became very fascinated by digital pinhole photography. This image was created with a modified pinhole body cap. I think I’m drawn to this type of photography because I feel it relates to my life and it seems to teach me far beyond photography. There are strict limitations that can drastically alter how images are captured and the final outcome of the photos, there is a lack of clarity compared to how I normally capture images with a lens, it’s difficult to predict exactly how the image will look and beauty and meaning can be found in the process and the final photo. It gives me a chance to practice embracing the unfamiliar, change, finding beauty in imperfection and growing in new ways.
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As a way to cope with circumstances beyond my control, survive and work to keep fighting for life I decided to try to take at least one photo (or more) each day. I call this “a photo (or more) a day.” Practicing this form of therapeutic photography helps me work to focus on the present moment, gives me something familiar and enjoyable to focus on as I use photography skills that have become like second-nature to me and being able to view the images I capture helps me recall what I was thinking, feeling and noticing at the moment when I created the photos. More of the photos from this series can be seen on my Instagram account
I may not always have the energy, time or capacity to share photos from this series—especially with the very challenging circumstances my family and I are experiencing—and will do my best to continue taking a photo (or more) a day even if I’m not able to share.
If you would like to support my work and my family, one way you can do so is by ordering my zines:
Many thanks for your support.
It's difficult to explain depression to people who don't have it. They think you're being self-indulgent, that you should just "get happy." Sometimes, you have good days, when the voice in your head that keeps telling you you're worthless shuts up for a moment, and you can even act normal and laugh with your friends. But when the Black Dog has you in its jaws, you feel incapable of anything. You can't even explain what's going on, because they'll all think you're just asking for attention. So you hide and hope it goes away. Your friends think your silence means you don't care for them, when it's only the thought of them that keeps you from blowing your brains out. When it releases you, you don't understand how you tripped and let it catch you. You worry everyone thinks you're crazy, a pariah, and it's true, you're nuts. You just hope they'll remember the good days, and forgive you the bad ones.
Thank you to Ian for giving me the courage to post this.
Even in the unknown, even in the middle of the intense and painful moments…trying to keep watching and looking for light
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Another of many images I’ve taken from the passenger seat on a drive home from one of my neurofeedback appointments. I never know how these images will turn out as we’re driving down one of the highways or the interstate we travel. This process of making photos of my surroundings really is helpful and calming for me.
A Transport for Wales train to Cheltenham rounds the bend where a speed restriction is in place due to a landslide from the amount of rain that's fallen.
Now that's a business model right there. Snacks, sweets, junk food, alcohol, cigarettes - and also newspapers, so you don't risk running out of anxiety to cope with!
coping with weird lighting situation. An Osprey sitting a lamppost that over looks the Harbor in Morro Bay, Ca. I've seen Osprey eating fish up there before.
As part of a creative endeavor I'm learning about making books. It was a joy that some of my children wanted to join me in learning a new skill. Gideon—age 12–made a few small sketchbooks and gave me one. I chose this green one and was naturally inspired to title it "grow" and fill it with pen & paper doodles that illustrate growth. Intuitively filling these pages with simple doodles as I faced intense physical and emotional struggles following very overwhelming hospitalizations and health complications was helpful in coping. To me I find it amazing how doing "little" things can add up and sometimes be helpful. I faced many intense moments and was thankful I could notice some benefits in making these basic doodles.
One summer evening I was having a very challenging time, intensely battling the long-term, ongoing mental health struggles I face each moment of each day. I felt like I couldn’t do anything and also felt like I couldn’t do nothing. Somehow I pushed myself to go outside at sunset. I just started walking down our gravel road in an effort to try to stay somewhat active and try to cope. I had the idea to experiment with ICM (intentional camera movement) by using a slow shutter speed to capture the motion as I was walking. I can’t really put it into words how this was helpful for me. Though the images are very abstract, to me they’re beautiful because they show that I was standing and moving forward even when it felt impossible and I had no idea how I would survive. After I used this method one evening I also naturally repeated the process a few other nights within the next couple weeks as a way to try to help myself cope and survive.
Moving Forward is a collection of abstract, ICM (intentional camera movement) images taken in moments of desperation, while trying to survive and find a healthy way to cope with the intense effects of trauma, CPTSD, anxiety and depression. The practice of therapeutic photography and healing actions of taking steps and moving forward come together in this photo project. May it be a source of hope, inspiration, peace or encouragement for you.
You can read more about this zine and photo project here: amandacreamerphotography.com/2023/02/18/photo-project-mov...
You can order the Morving Forward zine here: www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/2406230
Even in the middle of experiencing the ongoing effects of unspeakable experiences, destruction, harm, devastation, disconnection, sadness and terror you still work hard to look for light and find some beauty. This certainly isn’t easy and it’s something you aren’t always capable of at all times. And it is courageous and admirable that in the middle of extreme difficulty you continue to grow as you practice searching for these glimmers of hope, not as a way to pretend everything is alright, but as a way to help yourself move through the unspeakable at a pace that is appropriate for you.
[image created on 4-27-2023]
As part of a creative endeavor I'm learning about making books. It was a joy that some of my children wanted to join me in learning a new skill. Gideon—age 12–made a few small sketchbooks and gave me one. I chose this green one and was naturally inspired to title it "grow" and fill it with pen & paper doodles that illustrate growth. Intuitively filling these pages with simple doodles as I faced intense physical and emotional struggles following very overwhelming hospitalizations and health complications was helpful in coping. To me I find it amazing how doing "little" things can add up and sometimes be helpful. I faced many intense moments and was thankful I could notice some benefits in making these basic doodles.
Each stitch is like a breath, a steady reminder, an anchor to the present moment, a tiny step in the healing process that multiplies and gives life. As I worked on tearing the paper to size, folding the signatures, creating the cover, piercing the stitching holes, stitching the binding, contemplating, creating and hand-making the pages of this book it was an opportunity to remind myself that the storm is over—the exact same unspeakable events from the past are not happening in the present even though it often feels like I’m trapped there, unable to escape to freedom. I am still experiencing and dealing with the awful, crippling, devastating, disorienting effects of the storm….and the storm is over. I can’t “logic” my way out of this and I can work to remind myself that the storm is over.
In addition to photography, book binding and art journaling have become deeply meaningful and helpful in my healing process—I am so thankful for the survival, coping and healing found in these moments of creativity.
[image created on 5-13-2024]
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If you would like to support my work and my family, one way you can do so is by ordering my zines:
Many thanks for your support.
For me these images contain a lot of meaning. They are an abstract documentation that I engaged in the challenging work to stand and keep moving forward—both externally and internally—when this felt impossible because of the intense struggles I was experiencing at that moment. I tend to find some symbolism in these images. The blur and lack of clarity reminds me the path of growth and healing feels so unclear, foreign, unknown, even scary, overwhelming, very difficult and challenging. And though the journey doesn’t always seem completely visible, one thing I do know is God’s faithful presence and the kindness and care of the small group of very supportive people in my life is with me. That taking one tiny step at a time really is a big thing. It is often excruciatingly difficult and those tiny steps do add up—I’ve seen reassuring proof of this over time. And I still have many moments when I want to quit, that it all seems like too much for me. Sometimes I have to rest (though I find that for me, even rest can require work)—which itself is even a form of moving forward.
Moving Forward is a collection of abstract, ICM (intentional camera movement) images taken in moments of desperation, while trying to survive and find a healthy way to cope with the intense effects of trauma, CPTSD, anxiety and depression. The practice of therapeutic photography and healing actions of taking steps and moving forward come together in this photo project. May it be a source of hope, inspiration, peace or encouragement for you.
You can read more about this zine and photo project here: amandacreamerphotography.com/2023/02/18/photo-project-mov...
You can order the Morving Forward zine here: www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/2406230
Due to prevailing warm weather of summer, two construction workers - a mason and a laborer - remove their shirts so as to be able to work more in comfort.
Captured in Subic, Zambales, Philippines.
Watercolor on multimedia paper
Thank you ALL for your concern and for you comments and thoughts.
We are working ourselves through grief, coping, with art. All struggling, and poor Mom- how hard to miss my Dad after 65 years together. But we are having Art Day, and it is the best salve, for now.
My sister is a wonderful artist, too, and has painted with us as well. I will leave it to her to post her marvelous work when she feels like it.
Each stitch is like a breath, a steady reminder, an anchor to the present moment, a tiny step in the healing process that multiplies and gives life. As I worked on tearing the paper to size, folding the signatures, creating the cover, piercing the stitching holes, stitching the binding, contemplating, creating and hand-making the pages of this book it was an opportunity to remind myself that the storm is over—the exact same unspeakable events from the past are not happening in the present even though it often feels like I’m trapped there, unable to escape to freedom. I am still experiencing and dealing with the awful, crippling, devastating, disorienting effects of the storm….and the storm is over. I can’t “logic” my way out of this and I can work to remind myself that the storm is over.
In addition to photography, book binding and art journaling have become deeply meaningful and helpful in my healing process—I am so thankful for the survival, coping and healing found in these moments of creativity.
[image created on 5-7-2024]
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If you would like to support my work and my family, one way you can do so is by ordering my zines:
Many thanks for your support.
As part of a creative endeavor I'm learning about making books. It was a joy that some of my children wanted to join me in learning a new skill. Gideon—age 12–made a few small sketchbooks and gave me one. I chose this green one and was naturally inspired to title it "grow" and fill it with pen & paper doodles that illustrate growth. Intuitively filling these pages with simple doodles as I faced intense physical and emotional struggles following very overwhelming hospitalizations and health complications was helpful in coping. To me I find it amazing how doing "little" things can add up and sometimes be helpful. I faced many intense moments and was thankful I could notice some benefits in making these basic doodles.
It’s ok if all you can do in this moment is listen to the sound of your favorite calming music and try to keep breathing. It’s ok to focus on the peaceful, soothing sounds of the string instruments you find so beautifully captivating and grounding. It’s ok to listen to the sound of survival, the sound of healing, the sound of growth, the sound of wounded parts being seen, cared for and mended, the sound of light in the darkness. Though it certainly doesn’t feel like it, this is what is happening—one note at a time, one moment at a time—as you listen to the sound.
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If you’re interested in checking out this beautiful, peaceful, calming orchestra music here’s the playlist: youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_nKXQuhTyVW3-AOPDuqCKU8d...
As part of a creative endeavor I'm learning about making books. It was a joy that some of my children wanted to join me in learning a new skill. Gideon—age 12–made a few small sketchbooks and gave me one. I chose this green one and was naturally inspired to title it "grow" and fill it with pen & paper doodles that illustrate growth. Intuitively filling these pages with simple doodles as I faced intense physical and emotional struggles following very overwhelming hospitalizations and health complications was helpful in coping. To me I find it amazing how doing "little" things can add up and sometimes be helpful. I faced many intense moments and was thankful I could notice some benefits in making these basic doodles.
Little people coping in a big world
Playing a round of golf
The stoke index is used to identify the most difficult holes on the courses and on which holes golfers will receive additional strokes.
Stableford is a scoring system used in the sport of golf. Rather than counting the total number of strokes taken, as in stroke play, it involves scoring points based on the number of strokes taken at each hole. Unlike traditional scoring methods, where the aim is to have the lowest score, under Stableford rules, the objective is to have the highest score.
The number of points awarded on each hole is determined based on comparison of the number of strokes taken to a fixed score, usually par. This fixed score is then adjusted in relation to the player's handicap. Once players have taken two strokes more than the adjusted fixed score, they may abandon the hole and move on to the next, as it is then not possible to score any points on that hole. Because of this, it is still possible to be competitive even allowing for a few bad holes. At the end of the round, the number of points scored on each hole is totaled to give a final score. The winner of a Stableford competition is the player with the highest point total. Final scores may be modified for all players using the Competition Stableford Adjustment system.
You invest so much energy in doing simple, basic things each day even when you’re exhausted, critical of yourself for not doing “important, productive” things or question whether you’re worthy of expending resources doing these things. Thank you for working to get through these challenging obstacles and caring for yourself by doing necessary tasks as well as stepping outside to appreciate your natural surroundings even when it feels impossible. Through experience you’ve seen evidence that putting forth the energy to put on your old, worn out shoes, walk outside and spend some time in nature and capturing it’s beauty, interest, story and detail through pictures can sometimes be helpful, refreshing or at the very least a healthy way to work to cope.
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These old, worn out shoes of mine have come to symbolize hard work, fighting for life and working to cope in extremely difficult circumstances. And going outside, walking around the yard and taking pictures has been one of many ways I’ve worked to cope when I’m struggling a lot or when I’m working to help myself not become even more overwhelmed. I’m thankful for the opportunity to be able to spend time outside in the yard.
Since I often have no words or can’t even speak, I tried to capture one aspect of how I feel due to the awful, ongoing effects of experiencing unspeakable trauma—“blocked off,” trapped, isolated, alone, “figuratively disfigured,” stuck in the dark with perhaps some distant light noticeable once in a while, awful.
After creating these self portraits I was compelled to find a way to print these photos at home so I could share them with my psychologist at my neurofeedback therapy appointment—I write out and take notes since I’m not able to talk much and felt these photos would supplement my writing and perhaps give a look into how I feel.
Once I had processed the photos and decided on a sequence for the images, I noticed they seemed to show me a progression—the first image being completely stuck in a state of panic, shut down, hardly surviving, believing I’m not allowed to and not really being able to even try to look for help or support. And in the progression I came up with, the pictures seemed to show me a story—my own story—of very slowly, over time becoming more courageous, stronger, showing more awareness, more capacity and drive to fight for survival, life, growth and healing.
Since most of our belongings are packed up and in storage I don’t have access to much and I was able to find some (very lightweight) sewing thread and a very flimsy needle my daughter had here with her and I used our low budget home printer to create this little collection of photos. Normally I wouldn’t use such low quality items for something like this. I didn’t have much to work with and I was determined to not let this completely stop me from creating. I have since made a few more little photo collections like this and this practice and process has been very helpful in my coping and healing journey. I’m so thankful I gave this a try and for how I find this process to be therapeutic and how it helps me continue to grow.
[self portraits created on 1-17-2024, photos of printed images captured on 1-18-2024]
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As a way to cope with circumstances beyond my control, survive and work to keep fighting for life I decided to try to take at least one photo (or more) each day. I call this “a photo (or more) a day.” Practicing this form of therapeutic photography helps me work to focus on the present moment, gives me something familiar and enjoyable to focus on as I use photography skills that have become like second-nature to me and being able to view the images I capture helps me recall what I was thinking, feeling and noticing at the moment when I created the photos. More of the photos from this series can be seen on my Instagram account
I may not always have the energy, time or capacity to share photos from this series—especially with the very challenging circumstances my family and I are experiencing—and will do my best to continue taking a photo (or more) a day even if I’m not able to share.
If you would like to support my work and my family, one way you can do so is by ordering my zines:
Many thanks for your support.
The intense harm you’ve endured trained you to believe it is wrong and not allowed for you (but perfectly acceptable for other people) to reach out for and receive help, support, care and kindness. Though it’s difficult to believe and nearly impossible to practice, maybe it’s ok for you to reach out for support. Maybe these relational components are also necessary for you, just like all other people…perhaps you truly are created to connect. Thank you for working—at a pace appropriate for you—to reach out for support as you are able.
#NotetoSelf
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One evening as I worked to help myself cope I went outside with a camera. This is one thing that caught my attention as I took note of the plants growing along the gravel road across the street from our home. The wilting dandelion seemed to be reaching out to and resting on the seeded grass for support. To me this was a beautiful reminder of what I’m slowly learning to believe and put into practice.
[image created on 5-22-2023]
While the camel in Morocco's Erg Chebbi desert is perfectly content, the young camel driver (they are really called that) does not seem to have found his happy place yet
My old kitchen, complete with angry baby fish sauce, lots of little pigs, gargoyles, a strange set of shriners, and more spices, more style, more substance than you can imagine.
Cooking with James was a joy, our often round table with it's (un)savory collection of characters, the insane talk, the out there--out there stuff... things that can never be replaced in my life. He is missed.
Little people, coping in a big world
"Lunch Atop A Skyscraper" was taken as a publicity stunt to promote the construction of the new Rockefeller Center, but it quickly became a symbol of hope for a struggling nation in the midst of the great depression.
The iconic photograph, “Lunch Atop A Skyscraper,” has become synonymous with 1930s New York City. The photo features 11 construction workers casually having lunch while dangling 850 feet above the Big Apple.
We're here visiting the Tower group
Via Instagram:
There are many things I may never learn, even about photography. There is either no room in my brain, or it’s been too long and the window of opportunity passed me by a long time ago. For instance, I have almost no idea how to “direct” models. I’ve had new people shoot with me, anxiety showing on their faces as they ask me what they should do or how to pose. And hopefully it disarms them when I say I don’t know, because a lot of them forget after we’ve wandered and talked for a while and suddenly photos have appeared. Apparently it wasn’t important enough for me to learn, and at some point the moment passed. I may have also missed my chance at making movies or short films. I feel like being able to direct is vital for that as well, but then pile on all of the other new skills you need and the ability to collaborate with an actor, and I’ve got a large wall in front of me. Gabriella can do all of those things, and that is something I marvel at. This was my first photo shoot where I got to watch a person’s short film on my phone while I waited for them to arrive, and that is a unique experience. I may not be able to learn how to make short films, but I can still share Gabriella’s. Head to instagram.com/gabrielladreannefilm if you’d like to watch her anxiety themed, award winning short “Coping: don’t let it consume you”. (I think I got all of that right)
Autumn Polaroid Week 2022, Day 3
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Little people coping in a big world
After my successful photo safari to capture the crocodile bird, I set out to catch the tooth fairy in the act. As it turned out there is no such thing as the tooth fairy. Why do grown ups make up these stories?
We're here visiting Fun at the dentists office