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(ringtone) 🎵 They did the Mash! They did the Monster Mash! They did the Mash! It was a graveya- 🎶
Buffy: Scully.
Scully: We're at the town hall. Someone attacked and abducted the Mayor!
Buffy: Mayor Paprika?? Who would do that? She's so goofy.
Scully: Where are you?
Buffy: We're at the Morningside Mortuary.
Scully: What are you doing there?
Buffy: Following a tip. There's weird stuff going on here. Even by our standards.
Scully: Is Machiko with you?
Buffy: Yes.
Scully: Okay, keep an eye on her. The League is suspicious of her. She tried to attack Batman!* She's behaving foolishly.
Buffy: Yeah... she can hear you.
Scully: You have me on speaker!?
Buffy: I'm sorry.
Scully: Okay, listen, Spirit got shot, but he's... walking it off. We're going to try to catch the people who got the Mayor while the trail is hot. You coming?
Undertaker: No. We need to check out this mortuary.
Buffy: Did you hear that?
Scully: *sigh* Yes, okay. Let's keep each other updated.
____________________________________
*She did! In Paprihaven 1115
Lil Penny: Before we introduce our grillers for 2019, let's have a refresh on tha rules!
Each team has a prep table with all the ingredients and home-made BBQ sauces of their choosing. At the start of the contest they will come get their meat, provided by our long-time sponsor Boop's Scoops.
Man, I'm sure hopin them penguins ain't part of team 3's 'ingredients'!
And coming to the ring, weighing in at 248 pounds, the master of the Diamond Cutter, Diamond Dallas Page!!!
I thought this was going to be a jewelry show!
It's Tuesday Night Fights at the Planks.
I don't remember this guy.
A former tag team partner of Karl "the Mailman" Malone and Jay Leno, and WCW Tag Team Champion with Kevin Nash!
He teamed with a basketball player and Jay Leno??
It was near the end for WCW.
__________________________
A year of the shows and performers of the Bijou Planks Theater.
Illyana: ...told them, 'Well, if you think you know how to stop a fourth circle dark draw, then you do it! I'll be on my way!
Deidre: Where do they get off, trying to tell you how to defeat the thing?
Illyana: I know, right??
Deidre: That's why I try not to even talk to the civilians. They just get in the way.
Beldar: Attention, family unit! We are about to gain entrance to this primitive entertainment. Have your printed admission slips ready and prime yourselves for enthusiastic enjoyment!
Prymaat: Spousal unit of affectionate attachment, I have already attained excitement! My blood valve chamber is accelerated!
Connie: I cannot believe I came to the show with you two.
Esmeralda: I am Esmeralda of Paris. Carl and I are palace dancers.
Carlsbad: I be Carlsbad. I serve me Queen.
Hannah Montana: I'm Hannah! I am one of the palace singers.
Mary Jane: I'm Mary Jane Watson. I am on the palace liaison team, specifically the super-human division.
BioHunter Silver: I am Silver. I am a Queen's Defender serving with Strike Force Raptor.
Tulip: I'm Tulip. I work in the palace library.
Shiroko Bokushi: I am Shiroko. I serve in shepherding the Queen in the ways of the Lord.
Snow White: I'm Snow White. I am the Vice-Regent of the palace and always shall be for our Queen shall never fall.
All: AYE!
The new action figures have certainly come a long way!
Larger. Fantastic sculpts and design. Super articulation. Precision paint ops.
Witness the fight scene created from the Marvel Legends Juggernaut and the Mafex Spider-Man!
However, since the true play value of a toy comes from the imagination of the child, were the early 90s Toy Biz Juggernaut and Spider-Man any less fun?
No, quite fun in their own right!
In fact, as simple as the old Toy Biz Juggernaut and Mattel Spider-Man figures look today, it's good to remember that when they first came out it was the first time consumers had major comic characters in action figure form since the Mego offerings of the 70s.
What a joy it was to see the initial Toy Biz offerings like Juggy here expand into the larger and better sculpted X-Men and Spider-Man lines! Not to mention the Iron Man line! And the Fantastic Four!
Toy Biz continued to develop the design and articulation of the figures, culminating in the Marvel Legends series, which was later taken over by Hasbro.
That inspired Mattel's DC Universe Classics line so that all the DC comics characters were available in the same highly articulated scale.
In other words, not only were the pair on the left just as fun, but we also wouldn't even have the pair on the right without them.
Toys are fun!
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A year of the shows and performers of the Bijou Planks Theater.
Spider-Man
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Mafex 004
2014, Medicom
Juggernaut
Marvel Legends
Build-A-Figure
2017, Hasbro
Spider-Man
Marvel Comics Secret Wars
1984, Mattel
The Uncanny X-Men
Power Punch Juggernaut
1991, Toy Biz
Extreme-Sets
Warehouse Diorama
The Legends BAF Juggernaut previous seen in shots like Street Fight!
www.flickr.com/photos/paprihaven/33924530596/
While the Mafex Spider-Man had to visit The Booth!
Alice: You are all Diana said. I will answer your question. Let us retire away from the table.
Carlsbad: I'll toss that black-cowled fiend out on his pointy ear!
Snow White: Carlsbad, you hush that. These are our guests and the Queen is agreeable.
Esmeralda: My Queen, I can dance! It will cheer you!
Alice: All of you, please, continue to enjoy the tea and pastries. I am happy with such a fine question. You are going to be a most interesting ally, Batman.
Lil Penny: Okay, let's meet our teams!
PWHOOOSSHHH!!!!
Dark Phoenix: I'm ready to devour.
Lil Penny: So I see! Mm-Hm. Alright. Hm!
Martian Manhunter: ...eep...
"We come into this world alone and we leave the same way. The time we spent in between - time spent alive, sharing, learning together ... is all that makes life worth living."
('Jean Grey' by ToyBiz)
Diorama by RK
When the planet-consuming Galactus threatened to destroy the idyllic planet of Zenn-La, the astronomer Norrin Radd struck a deal with the seemingly omnipotent space-god. In exchange for the well-being of his planet and those he loved, Radd would serve Galactus as a herald, searching the galaxy for new planets for the world devourer to feed upon. Accepting the terms of the agreement, Galactus infused Radd with a portion of the Power Cosmic, transforming him into the Silver Surfer. A noble and conflicted soul, the Silver Surfer eventually betrayed his master and became a hero.
This four and a half inch action figure was produced by ToyBiz in 1994.
Part of my Letter Of The Law series.
Photo submitted to the Flickr group Macro Mondays for the "Songs from the Rolling Stones" theme, referencing the song "2000 Light Years from Home."
Photo seen in Flickr Explore.
April: We're going to get you up to speed in no time, Peter Parker!
Parker: (thinking) She's right! I'm kicking this feeling of dread out on the curb! Finally... finally... the Peter Parker luck has changed! I'm in a brand new place with a brand new start! Spider-Man is not even needed here! I can just be me and find Mary Jane and we'll be together again! And I don't have to worry about hurting anyone at all...
_______________________
End of Chapter 21!
Next: Chapter 22 and Mayor Paprika!
PWHOOOSSHHH!!!!
Lil Penny: Whoa! You are still fired up, girl!!
Dark Phoenix: Last year I consumed the Labor Day meats.* This year, I shall consumer Labor Day!
Lil Penny: And how'd you team up with Hogan?
Dark Phoenix: I do not know who this is. I wrote 'Hulk' on the application because only he can survive proximity to me. This is not that Hulk.
Hulk Hogan: Lemme tell ya somethin' Lil Penny, brother!! I'm down with the struggle, my man!!
Lil Penny: What struggle is that, Hulk?
Hulk Hogan: The... never mind! Lil Penny, brother, you want to know how we teamed up?? Well the immortal Hulk Hogan was kicked back at his condo, doing reps with like 50,000 pounds with the largest arms in the world when I sensed great power! You know, Lil Penny, when you're at a power level like mine, you know when there's another MEGA POWER in the zone! So the Hulkster-
Lil Penny: Kinda wrap this up Hulk. Gotta move on.
Hulk Hogan: -jumped on his black and white NWO Harley Davidson, chromed out with ape-hanger handlebars, and rode that thunder on down here to the Backyard Barbeque!
Lil Penny: Great! So-
Hulk Hogan: I don't know why all these other losers showed up! Listen, when Dark Phoenix rises from Tuscon and showers her mighty flame power over this back yard, only the Hulkster's gonna survive! Then the Hulk and the Dark Phoenix are gonna slam some ribs and steaks on the grill and celebrate Labor Day like it should be! Whatcha gonna DO, Lil Penny, when the Hulkster-Dark Phoenix express run wild on YOU???
Lil Penny: Sooo... what meat were you going to prepare again?
Dark Phoenix: I may consume him first.
Lil Penny: Storm and the Martian Manhunter! We oughta call you the 'cape team'. I'm not sure how well capes go with outdoor grillin, but whatcha got?
Storm: Brisket!!!
Martian Manhunter: Yeess, we will prepare the brisket.
Storm: I will summon all of my elemental powers!!! My Martian ally shall utilize his mighty Martian abilities!! This BRISKET shall not fail!!!!
Martian Manhunter: We are preparing brisket.
Lil Penny: Brisket! Got it! Now you two get after it! (Think I'm gonna change your name to the 'drama' team.)
Storm: Forget ALL you have EVER known about BRISKET!!
Martian Manhunter: This will be a revelation in brisket.
Rogue: You make me so mad!!
Gambit: You ain't angry, love.
Rogue: I am angry!! Very angry!!
Gambit: Naw, that just your face sculpt. Dey did a bad job. You always like that now.
Rogue: You're blaming this on my face sculpt??
Gambit: Happy Labor Day love. Maybe they release a new edition of you soon.
Rogue: OOOHH!!!!
April: That was so fun! I'm glad you asked me to help you on this gig Peter.
Parker: (thinking) Spider-Sense going off again... the Chameleon!! What's he doing here!?
April: Peter?
Thor: What is this... "Labor Day"? Verily, it soundeth made upeth!
Iron Man: It's a United States holiday celebrating those who work and create a strong society.
Thor: Aye, friend, I like it! Let us honor the poor peasants today!!
Iron Man: They're not... peasants...
Ladies and gentlemen, this edition of Tuesday Night Fights has once again been interrupted by this menacing group!
Scott Hall: My name... is Scott Hall!!
Is that Chaplin?
laughter
Scott Hall: And the NWO is in town!
It looks like his beard is just smeared on.
And those big eyes!
laughter
He looks like a Vaudeville hobo!
What's a Vaudeville hobo?
Scott Hall: YO! Listen to me when I'm speaking!
Okay... seriously? I assume you know what a hobo is so do you really not know Vaudeville?
What's Vaudeville?
Really? REALLY? We're in the Bijou Planks Theater which is almost purely based on Vaudeville homage and you don't recognize the source??
Scott Hall: HEY! I'M TALKIN TO YOU!!
Okay, is Vaudeville a town??
GAH!! Vaudeville was an amazing example of live theater with every sort of act under the sun! Comedy, singing, dancing, action...
Like Bijou Planks!
YES! But Bijou Planks is based on Vaudeville! In the early 1900s it was THE entertainment in America!
Ok! Whatever! Sorry I didn't know about your old floor show or whatever.
Scott Hall: I'm trying to do my mic rant here!
Be quiet, Scotty. The hecklers are having a very important discussion!
He really does look like a Vaudeville hobo.
laughter
__________________________
A year of the shows and performers of the Bijou Planks Theater.
Oh, and though it became wildly popular in the States, it actually started a few years earlier in France.
Scott Hall: I'm goin' home.
Psylocke: Your dark self just burned up all the food.
Phoenix: Let's go get burgers.
Psylocke: Happy Labor Day!
Doctor Doom: Richards! Do something! Doom's bratwurst is being destroyed!
Mr. Fantastic: I... hm...
Invisible Woman: Reed doesn't care if you have bratwurst or not, Doom!
Doctor Doom: Richards! Doom demands bratwurst!
Mr. Fantastic: Well, that's not my problem!
Invisible Woman: Very good, Reed.
Doctor Doom: Doom pronounces you henpecked!!! And Doom pronounces her in dire need of a salon!
Oddjob: Thanks and enjoy the show.
Picard: Thank you.
Oddjob: Nice hat.
Picard: Thank you.
Oddjob: I throw mine.
Picard: ...
...to the 2019 Labor Day Backyard BBQ Battle?
FWOOOOOSSHH!!!
"I DEVOUR THIS FOOL FIRST!!!"
"...gak... biggest arms... hhh..."
"Martian Manhuter!! Martian Manhunter!! You must awaken!! We MUST complete our BRISKET!!!!"
POW!!
"GYA!!!"
"Your plan to ruin... the BBQ... looks to be.... overdone, Joker!!"
CRUNCH!!
"WAAUUGGHHH!!!"
"Gosh Batman! Nice of them to bring this big gift box! They'll look good in it when we deliver them to the police station!"
WHOOOMMMPHHH!!
"AAAHH!! STAN!!! What did you do??"
"And it looks like the judges are enjoying the Duke boys entree as-"
"GRRAAARRR!!! MEAT!!!"
"WHOA!"
"Let us outta here!!"
"Aunt May has gone rabid!!"
The Hydra agents that were still conscious fled as soon as Dracula popped up. I don't blame them.
Although he's just standing there, I'm just imagining Drac being all; "So how do you like my tomb? It's really roomy with high ceilings. Everyone said I was crazy to build it that way (and then I had them tortured and killed). But who's laughing now? THEY didn't know I'd have to live here for centuries. And it came in handy when I had to fight this Belmont family, don't ask it was a thing for awhile..."
Usually a cheerful city, Paprihaven has been in a grip of tension since the rift has opened once more in Thistledeep. Those who were here the first time remember...
Storm: "...we will have our hands full just securing the city from whatever may come out."
Meygan: "Mr. Steel did you want a refill?"
Max: "Sure, kid. Thanks."
Betty Boop: "Cloe! Order up!"
*************************************
Watch what Paprihaven watches: www.flickr.com/photos/egolon/
Spider-Girl: Happy Labor Day, Hulk!
Hulk: Hulk come for bratwurst but now bratwurst burned!
Spider-Girl: Yep. Maybe we can-
Hulk: No bratwurst make Hulk angry!!!
Spider-Girl: Ah. We're going there already. Okay, I'm going to get out of the way.
April: Woo-WOO!! Snoopy!!
Parker: That cat is great!
April: Kool Kat is the most! Wait'll you hear Snoopy! He's so funny!!!
Aunt May: Dear... you're burning it.
Dark Phoenix: AHAHA!!! I will CONSUME this offering!!!
Aunt May: Oh, goodness. It wasn't an offering, it was chicken and bratwurst.
Dark Phoenix: Silence, old woman! You are wearing slippers!
Aunt May: ... Can anyone help? We're not going to have any food.
More beach portraits of The Lone Ranger and Silver (actually Asfaloth from Lord of the Rings).
I usually try to avoid sharing two images that are so similar, but in this instance I like both images for different reasons, so...
The line forms and excitement builds as tickets are accepted and entry granted.
This is it! The show! The Bijou Planks!
The Witch of Bleak Barrow Woods is not happy with her henchman, Ptolemy the Trollkin.
"You Numpty!," screams the Witch, "how did you let her escape!"
"Perhaps that sleeping draught you piled her with wasn't strong enough..." Ptolemy's sentence fades out as he realises he's just criticised the Witch's potioning abilities. Oh dear, another week as a toad again.
"What?"
"...erm... maybe I messed up."
"Yes, perhaps you did. Thank you for owning up," says the Witch... well, actually she doesn't use quite those words, instead choosing ones which you wouldn't find in any fairy tale. Well, except perhaps in those dodgy under-the-counter DVD ones starring Sasha Grey...
... whoever she might be.
But who has escaped the Witch's clutches?