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Week 15/52: Square
Week 15 between five 52 projects, and here I am, with self-portrait number 15 (arguably)... the girl who doesn't like to be in front of the camera... Well, to be fair, I did take more than 40 shots, until I was “satisfied” (read “tired, I’ll just choose something”).
I don’t know how I feel about this one. I think I love it and I hate it in equal proportions, and I don’t even understand why. At least I remembered to paint my nails before the shoot. I guess I’m learning. The grid shadow was obtained by putting my phone’s flashlight behind my bike’s basket. Hey, everything for “art”, am I right?
The weather was perfect today. I biked to church in a dress. Sat in the pew for a while afterwards, waiting for the crowd to leave, hoping for some quiet. Instead, I was visited by friends and strangers alike, one by one and then in groups, everybody with a different story, a different reason for stopping by, none of them knowing just how their presence was soothing my strange, lonely heart.
Eventually I got my silence. I shed some quiet tears by the altar, under the organ pipes, the words of a friend's sermon echoing softly: "It's okay that we don't understand."
I came home to an apartment hot with sunshine. I lay down for a moment, just a moment, to catch my breath and collect all the tears I'd scattered that morning... and then I awoke three hours later, not sure what day it was, half-convinced it was Monday morning: a fateful, wonderful, utterly problematic afternoon nap.
In the hours since, I've biked to yoga, bought groceries, watered the plants, took my photo, cooked quinoa for tomorrow, made a salad, washed and put away all the dishes.
And I will never fall asleep tonight. And I don't think I'm sorry.
The wind in my hair as my bike coasted down the hill towards the river, under a canopy of branches heavy with new leaves... worth it, a million times over.
Pontefract Monkhill. Goole service. The footbridge is now relocated and modern and the junction behind the unit is gone.
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Finished the writing for my science project today
A ton more from this, I'll upload them eventually
Odin: I fail to see how placing this anywhere in the body won't cause a mess bloody and naughty.
Danben: This is a prototype. Of course the Auto-Regenerative Sutures were meant to be a lot smaller. They simply couldn't build them small enough without the device failing due to increasingly fragile parts. The smallest functional one still caused ruptures.