Inspired by the idea of a graffiti self portrait, there are many words and phrases in this piece that help shape the image, and they are not all entirely sincere. Most of my pieces are self-portraits of a sort.

The title for this drawing came to me like a revelation, a revelation aided perhaps by a lack of sobriety. It is also not at all sincere, but seems to me the kind of statement some artists like to make, though maybe not in so many words, about their work. i'm not only against the "artist statement" in general, but i have a kind of loathing for pretense, which seems rampant in the art world. (i don't even like to say "art world," which seems to drip pretense from its very syllables, (which also sounds pretentious.))

i've met many artists with expansive vocabularies and amazing opinions of themselves, a combination i don't enjoy to fraternize with. i enjoy seeing talent, not hearing talents author give himself a hearty pat on the back, and so this piece is filled with thoughts about the act of making art, about the self-aggrandizement that often goes hand in hand with creating something.

(i feel like there should be a much easier way to say all of that. It just didn't come to me. Sorry.) (And i think i'm also starting to sound exactly how i don't want to.)

As for the artist statement, i've heard some fine ones, some that show me how similar i am in many ways to other artists. We all basically want the same thing and have the same thing to say. We want to make work that connects with people, that illustrates the need for change, for social responsibility, peace, love and all that, or simply to remind people of the mystery and beauty and possibility. But if i were to try to give you a statement, it would run on indefinitely, which probably wouldn't surprise you after looking at my Flickr page. i'd just rather talk to someone about how i feel about art or the world or anything, than assume that i can boil down my ideas and feelings and hopes and intentions into a few sentences that don't seem horribly contrived and repetitive and ultimately insulting to your intelligence, and then assume that you have any interest in those ideas and feelings and hopes.

i'm certainly not against others having "a statement;" i know many painfully talented artists who are happy to offer one, and often they are lovely, as beautifully constructed as the art itself. It just doesn't work for me. i tend toward satire and irony when prompted, when asked for something meaningful. It may be that i don't care for that quality in myself, but i need conversation to express how i feel. i want to talk to you, not simply be read by you (which is happening now).

(So no one thinks all this rambling is a some sort of "statement," please know i'm full of shit and have no clue, officially, what it is that i'm talking about.)

Marker on watercolor paper.

May 2006 - 14 x 24

Rhys was in danger of suffering from sobriety, so we put him onto the emergency beer respirator.

Warning

Jenny Joseph

Texture by Borealnz

Read the tags, too.

self portrait

Day 28 of Occupy Wall Street - Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine plays Zuccotti Park. October 13, 2011

.

David Shankbone

Good Magazine: The (Un)Official Occupy Wall Street Photographer's 15 Favorite Frames

The Occupy Wall Street Creative Commons Project

Day 1 September 17 Photos - Preoccupation and Occupation Begins

Day 2 September 18 Photos - People settle in; cardboard sign menage begins

Day 3 September 19 Photos - Community forms; protest signs

Day 7 September 23 Photos - First rain, protest signs, life

Day 8 September 24 Photos - Pepper spray day, Zuni Tikka, people

Day 9 September 25 Photos

Day 12 September 28 Photos

Day 14 September 30 Photos

Day 16 October 2 Photos

Day 17 October 3 Photos

Day 20 October 5 Photos

Day 21 October 6 Photos - Naomi Klein

Day 23 October 8 - Faces of OWS

Day 28 October 13 - Tom Morello of RATM

Day 31 - protesting Chihuahua and The Daily Show

Day 36 - Parents and Kids Day and quite a crowd

Day 40 - protesting hotties, Reverend Billy and tents

Day 43 Photos - Snow storm at OWS of the first NYC winter snowfall

Day 47 - Solidarity with Occupy Oakland

Day 50 November 5

Day 52 November 7 - Jonathan Lethem, Lynn Nottage and Jennifer Egan

Day 53 November 8 - David Crosby and Graham Nash play OWS

Day 57 November 12 - Former NJ Gov. Jim McGreevey

Day 60 November 15 - Police evict protesters from Zuccotti

Occupy Colorado Springs Colorado on November 20

Do you want to see the Occupy Wall Street series laid out thematically? Click here

♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♫

Originally built in 1667, it is the largest temple of Zen Buddhism in Guizhou Province. It features majesty and sobriety. Hongfu means to develop Buddha's spirits and to benefit mankind. Today it is rated as one of the 142 National Key Temple Sscenic Areas as well as the Key Cultural Relic Preservation in Guizhou Province.

'Hongfu' is Chinese for 'good fortune', which is an apt name for the temple considering its history. It was in 1672 when Chisong, a monk during the Ming Dynasty founded the temple. It had very poor beginnings, being little more than a small hut, but Chisong was determined that it should become a revered shrine and through his persistence many local officials gave their support. In time the temple was to become the most important Buddhist temple in the area.

When you visit the temple, on entering the gate, you will first see the Bell Tower and the Drum Tower on both sides. The bronze bell weighs more than 3,000 jin in Chinese measurement (equal to about 3,300 pounds), and was cast in 1469 during the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644).

On entering the first hall named Heavenly King Hall, you can see the carved statues of Maitreya Buddha and the four Heavenly Kings. On its walls there are also steles of sutra and huge paintings. The second main hall is the Bodhisattva Hall dedicated to Skanda Bodhisattva, and Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara with 32 arms. Inside the third hall named Mahavira Hall there are gilded statues of Sakyamuni, juuhachi rakan (or the 18 arhats), and others. There's also a jade Buddha statue that is from Rangoon, the capital of Burma. It is 1.5 meters (4.92 feet) high and weighs 900 kilograms (1984 pounds). The statue is made out of choice jade and looks beneficent but solemn, and it stands among more than 10 other jade statues of Bodhisattva and Maitreya.

Besides these superb halls, the temple is also adorned with galleries, pools, and springs, which are of high artistic value. In recent years many prominent people have visited the temple and in accordance with Chinese tradition have left poetry in praise of the inspiring architecture and its setting. A stroll through the temple compound will enable you to enjoy its peaceful environment while reflecting upon its splendid past.

Deputies with the Boone County Sheriff get ready for a sobriety checkpoint somewhere in the Show Me State.

1:64 Greenlight Diecast

Hitch & Tow Series 3

Ford Interceptor Utility

DWI Enforcement Trailer

Boone County Sheriff

Missouri

Olympus OM-D E-M5 Mark II

Olympus M.14-42mm F3.5-5.6 II R

For more info about the dioramas, check out the FAQ: 1stPix FAQ

Are you looking for a drug and alcohol treatment center in Charlotte, North Carolina?

Finding a drug and alcohol treatment center is a vital decision when it comes to one’s sobriety. Sometimes, it finding the right center can mean the difference between maintaining your sobriety when you leave a...

hopetreatmentcenter.com/2015/12/07/alcohol-drug-rehab-cha...

Most of the pieces I've created over the past four years convey my ongoing struggle with alcoholism/addiction and my ambivalence toward sobriety. A main reason I "picked up" during this time period (this piece is from January 2014) was because, after nearly 10 years of self-employment as a writer/editor (a job I absolutely adored and made good money doing), journalistic work was drying up dramatically, and I was losing hours to the point where I was faced with not only losing my apartment but having to consider returning to minimum-wage work. Losing the financial independence I'd worked my ass off to acquire throughout my late 20s and 30s was beyond devastating. Alcohol served almost as a sort of "protection" against this reality, granting me distance from the shock of it (albeit temporarily), and---more significantly---served as a defense against the parts of me that blamed me rather fiercely for my "failures" as an adult and believed I deserved punishment . . .

Originally built in 1667, it is the largest temple of Zen Buddhism in Guizhou Province. It features majesty and sobriety. Hongfu means to develop Buddha's spirits and to benefit mankind. Today it is rated as one of the 142 National Key Temple Sscenic Areas as well as the Key Cultural Relic Preservation in Guizhou Province.

'Hongfu' is Chinese for 'good fortune', which is an apt name for the temple considering its history. It was in 1672 when Chisong, a monk during the Ming Dynasty founded the temple. It had very poor beginnings, being little more than a small hut, but Chisong was determined that it should become a revered shrine and through his persistence many local officials gave their support. In time the temple was to become the most important Buddhist temple in the area.

When you visit the temple, on entering the gate, you will first see the Bell Tower and the Drum Tower on both sides. The bronze bell weighs more than 3,000 jin in Chinese measurement (equal to about 3,300 pounds), and was cast in 1469 during the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644).

On entering the first hall named Heavenly King Hall, you can see the carved statues of Maitreya Buddha and the four Heavenly Kings. On its walls there are also steles of sutra and huge paintings. The second main hall is the Bodhisattva Hall dedicated to Skanda Bodhisattva, and Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara with 32 arms. Inside the third hall named Mahavira Hall there are gilded statues of Sakyamuni, juuhachi rakan (or the 18 arhats), and others. There's also a jade Buddha statue that is from Rangoon, the capital of Burma. It is 1.5 meters (4.92 feet) high and weighs 900 kilograms (1984 pounds). The statue is made out of choice jade and looks beneficent but solemn, and it stands among more than 10 other jade statues of Bodhisattva and Maitreya.

Besides these superb halls, the temple is also adorned with galleries, pools, and springs, which are of high artistic value. In recent years many prominent people have visited the temple and in accordance with Chinese tradition have left poetry in praise of the inspiring architecture and its setting. A stroll through the temple compound will enable you to enjoy its peaceful environment while reflecting upon its splendid past.

white flour, but bigger holes (those ambient yeasts again.)

'...Count Marco was Old Chronicle. You have to be over 40 to remember Count Marco, and to have grown up in a household where the Chronicle was delivered to the doorstep so that your mother could open the women's pages to Count Marco and begin pounding the table about what an idiot he was. The Chronicle had hired Count Marco in 1959--in real life he was a hairdresser named Marc Spinelli--to assume the voice of a fussy Continental aristocrat in a regular column that railed about "you American women," who Marco liked to complain were fat and whiny and insufficiently attentive to their husbands. ("I'll make a deal with you libido-orationists," read one typical Marco passage. "Do as I suggest and I'll go along with your bleats and pleas, even to the point of encouraging you to strangle femininity to death.") As actual newspaper copy it was ludicrous, but as San Francisco Chronicle material it was choice: arch, silly, flamboyantly uninterested in bourgeois sobriety, and aiming, I'm guessing, for precisely the sort of reaction it elicited from my mother, who loved being infuriated by Count Marco as much as she loved reading George Murphy's front-page stories about the scandal of English muffin redesign. The English muffin stories ran in 1969, when I was a teenager:

"A bakery blasphemy is abroad in San Francisco.

Foster's English Muffins are being sold sliced.

As everyone here knows, English muffins are never touched by a knife.

"You must tear, tear," says the San Franciscan to the benighted visitor.

Actually, the true English muffin devotee first takes the muffin whole and inserts the tines of a fork about the perimeter.

Now, having achieved purchase, he takes thumb and forefinger (there are some two-handed muffin-tearers, but they are in the minority; mostly the one-handed approach is favored) and delicately separates the top from the bottom..."

In a sense the whole paper was written in those days for my parents, who were literate, funny, well-traveled people who had moved to San Francisco because the city--that shorthand, The City, was and has remained the standard terminology around here--seemed to them unlike any other place they had ever been. San Francisco's visual appeal was famous, the crowded wooden-house-covered hills bathed in golden light and ringed on three sides by water, but the geography also helped reinforce a kind of exuberant self-absorption that Scott Newhall, the most famous editor the Chronicle ever had, understood exactly how to exploit. Scott Newhall is part of the reason the Chronicle became so terrible. But Scott Newhall is also part of the reason my parents and a great many people like them took such enormous pleasure in living in San Francisco, and to get this story right--to follow the sorrowful tale right down to the trough-bottom days of "Send it to the Chronicle"--you have to go back about 45 years, when Newhall masterminded the last publicly declared Bay Area Journalism War, which Newhall won, and rather brilliantly, too.

Scott Newhall was named executive editor of the San Francisco Chronicle in 1952, when the paper was running a dismal fourth in circulation behind the Oakland Tribune, the San Francisco News Call Bulletin and the San Francisco Examiner. The News Call Bulletin [we were a News Call family, the afternoon paper my father brought home with him to read in the carpool, except on wednesdays when he drove; the paper vendor sent home a box of turtles, the candy, every christmastime, for me.] and the Examiner were both Hearst papers, but the News Call Bulletin was an afternoon daily; it was the morning Examiner, the flagship paper in the Hearst publishing empire, that Newhall decided to attack head-on. He had been at the paper for 17 years by that time, not counting the stretch in 1936 when Newhall and his wife both quit their jobs, sailed out the Golden Gate on a 42-foot ketch, wrote cartoon-illustrated newspaper dispatches from the Mexican interior ("Horse Gets Colic, Bed Crashes, It Rains"), and finally came home with Newhall so sick from a bone abscess that American doctors amputated his right leg. After a while on crutches Newhall learned how to get around vigorously on a wooden leg, thereby adding to his aura. He was by all accounts an utterly charming and quick-witted man, fiercely opinionated, given to fits of impulse and passionate about the sound of the writing on the pages he edited.

"His idea of a perfect headline on a mysterious murder of three people on Market Street, if that were to happen, would be: A Strange Occurrence at Night," recalls William German, the paper's longtime and now mostly emeritus editor, whose spacious carpeted corner office in the city room still contains a few items of Newhall vintage, like the massive leather-topped desk. "He took the cannon with him when he left," German says. "This guy was a complete wacko. But a very talented wacko. And probably right for the time."

The paper Newhall inherited from his predecessor, a high-minded visionary named Paul Smith, was often described by Smith himself as a West Coast version of the New York Times. It was stodgy, distinguished and dense, and it was losing money. When Smith was relieved of his duties and replaced by the editor who had filed those dispatches from Mexico, the paper began what Newhall would later refer to as "a long trip back up": Newhall wanted the paper read, and read in greater numbers than the San Francisco Examiner, and the come-on he chose was a front page that could not possibly be mistaken, by the time Newhall was finished with it, for any other front page in the United States.

Newhall's Chronicle sent Count Marco, accompanied by a real reporter who did the deadline work incognito from the back of the courtroom, to cover a sensational Los Angeles murder trial. ("Carole has changed the tint of her hair from sun bronze to copper tone. I consider this action an important switch indicating her present state of mind and perhaps her own future.") It ran highbrow limerick clues, most of them composed by Newhall's wife, Ruth, to the Emperor Norton Treasure Hunt, an annual citywide search for a buried $1,000 medallion. It carried a run of hugely displayed stories about a comedy writer's campaign to combat the moral disgrace of rampant animal nudity, illustrating one of the front-pagers with a drawing of suggested undershorts for cows. In 1963 the paper commenced its own civic campaign to improve the quality of San Francisco's coffee, accompanied by a lead editorial titled "Decent Coffee--A Basic Right."

'We have documented the shameful manner in which ignorant, money-grubbing, hole-in-corner restaurateurs of San Francisco crudely ravish this peer among brews. The offensive, long-simmering swill they pump out of their tarnished boilers is a disgrace to the city.'

Easterners casting about for material with which to make fun of the Chronicle always come up with the coffee campaign, but they miss the essence of it: The essence was "swill." What other newspaper would use a word like "swill" to describe bad coffee in a front-page headline? (Just for the record, the famous and often slightly misquoted head was "A Great City's People Forced to Drink Swill." There was also "Coffee Horror," and "The Recipe for Horror"--it was a series, after all--and numerous subheads, like "4 O'Clock Varnish" and "Heady Brew.") The paper managed to be lyric, loopy and unbelievably parochial all at the same time, a great private joke that San Franciscans liked to imagine only we really understood, and although professing outrage about the Chronicle became a popular civic pastime, circulation soared. On the day in 1960 when the Chronicle's circulation made its first official surge past the Examiner's, Newhall walked out of his office, according to the veteran Chronicle reporter David Perlman, and cried, "Well, we've done it." Then Newhall ordered up champagne for the newsroom.

That David Perlman tells this story with such affection--he was there, and got his share of the champagne--is a testament to Newhall's ability to keep some dedicated newspapermen working pretty happily in the midst of the carnival acts. Perlman was then and remains today a nationally admired science writer (he's 80, looks 20 years younger, and has no imminent plans to retire), and when I asked him whether he had minded watching his copy appear alongside pictures of livestock in boxer shorts, he smiled and adamantly shook his head. "Oh, no, it was too much fun," he said. Perlman learned to adapt his leads to the squiggly boxes, as did his junior colleague Charles Petit, who came to the Chronicle in 1972; the squiggly boxes were front-page wavy-line rules that flagged the reader to stories about sex or weird behavior, thus assuring extra attention on the newsracks.

"If you somehow got the word 'bizarre' into your lead, you got a wiggly line," Petit told me. "So I tried to find every way to do it. Science is perfect for that. I could slip the word 'bizarre' into a story about strange bacteria or weird plants or exotic diseases. They're all bizarre."

But by the time Charlie Petit got to the Chronicle the paper had begun its slide into the post-Newhall era, and the joke was wearing thin. Before Petit left the Chronicle in 1997 to join U.S. News & World Report, the paper gave him a framed copy of the front page that ran on the August 1972 day he was hired; as we were talking Petit pulled it from a closet and gazed at it with fond resignation. "Look at this," he said. The lead was an Associated Press story about George McGovern. Lower right, a New York Times story about nuclear strategy; page middle, an AP Vietnam War story; and off-lead on the left, a squiggly box--150 WED AT MARIN RANCH. Illustrated, too: Marin County ranch ladies, in long skirts and bonnets, preparing for their Synanon-arranged group wedding. "The only thing we contributed was a goofball photo of a bunch of people getting married," Petit said glumly. "It's like being the best sitcom on TV. You're not '60 Minutes.' You're not 'Nova.' But damn, you're funny."

The paper still had its strengths. Petit, like Perlman, was a dedicated reporter whose "bizarre" leads usually sat atop serious science and medical stories. The beloved Herb Caen, who had turned three-dot reporting [three-dot reporting...and here i'd thought all this time it was mr. shawn i'd modelled myself on...] into an art form no other newspaper was ever able to match, had defected temporarily to the Examiner but was now back home at the Chronicle, with the little San Francisco skyline logo that always ran above his column head. The Chronicle's columnists and cultural writers were memorable, the sportswriters were very good, and the Two-Handed Muffin-Tearers school of newspaper prose still showed up from time to time to dress up the front page. But even on its best days, the Chronicle was an awfully fast read. "There was substance, but it was irrelevant substance, and it generally went for the gag," Petit reflected. "Serious journalists made fun of it. But readers liked it. It was amusing. It was a diversion from serious matters."

Part of the problem at the Chronicle--the heart of the problem, according to the standard modern-day Chronicle version of events--was the 1964 joint operating agreement that formally ended competition for the San Francisco morning newspaper audience. From January 1965 on, under the terms of the deal signed by the Hearst and Chronicle Publishing companies, a single jointly owned production facility would print, distribute, sell advertising and manage circulation for both the Chronicle and the Examiner. The agreement closed the News Call Bulletin. It declared that the Chronicle would publish as a morning daily, that the Examiner would publish as an afternoon daily, and that on Sundays the joint facility would print a paper called the San Francisco Sunday Examiner & Chronicle, with most of the news sections to be produced by the Examiner. Editorially, the two papers were to function as "separate, distinct and independent newspapers," in the language of the JOA, but their business operation was now to become a single entity, collecting all advertising and subscription revenues and allocating any after-cost profits "to Chronicle and Hearst, in equal shares."

A 50-50 split, in other words--no head-to-head competition, everybody makes money together, and at the end of the day each side gets half the take. The Chronicle-Examiner deal was somewhere around the 20th JOA in American newspapers, according to University of California at Berkeley law professor Stephen R. Barnett, who has written extensively about joint operating agreements, and opinions around here vary as to which entity was ultimately worst served by the terms of San Francisco's: the Examiner newsroom, suddenly stuck with the shrinking audience for afternoon papers; the Chronicle newsroom, stripped of any real competition and forced to watch half of every profit dollar tossed over the wall to the other guys; or the reading public, its one morning daily gradually losing interest in itself as the jolly war years gave way to something darker and more tedious.'

... when we landed up six months later in denver, i was asked, as a late-arriving junior in their high school, to write up the instructions for something as an exercise in an english class. it was practice for declarative writing in preparation for some now-ubiquitous standardized test of which i'd never heard, and ultimately never took. and so, for my maiden effort, i wrote how to brew the perfect pot of tea with all the style to which i had been accustomed, and which you can now see outlined above. not only was the teacher not impressed, he read it aloud to the entire unknown, now never-to-be-known, class, not neglecting to inflict, and inflect, every conceivable sneer, the fuck. i spent the next 18 months ashamed of myself for not dropping out of high school and finally ended up in a breakdown of the nervous variety, until i could get home, where home was gone. that was the first time i left; why was there a second? oh yeah. the Great Migration. [...]

If life’s dear to you – don’t let the deer fail! Jelen Beer Sobriety Test App

When drunk, one’s hands precision and reaction time lessen, and one cannot drive straight and stay on the road. We created a mobile app for Jelen Beer, which tests your sobriety by testing your ability to keep the deer (Jelen beer’s famous logo) on the winding road for 25 seconds. If you fail to pass the sobriety test, your mobile’s GPS will automatically find all available taxi companies near you and call a taxi to take you home safely

Agency: Leo Burnett Belgrade

Brand: Jelen Beer, Apatinska Pivara Apatin a Molson Coors Company

Awards: FORFEST Montenegro 2012 - First Prize in Banners, Offsite Advertising, Interactive Tools Digital, mobile applications

See the case study at vimeo.com/lab604/jelen-pivo-app

If life’s dear to you – don’t let the deer fail! Jelen Beer Sobriety Test App

When drunk, one’s hands precision and reaction time lessen, and one cannot drive straight and stay on the road. We created a mobile app for Jelen Beer, which tests your sobriety by testing your ability to keep the deer (Jelen beer’s famous logo) on the winding road for 25 seconds. If you fail to pass the sobriety test, your mobile’s GPS will automatically find all available taxi companies near you and call a taxi to take you home safely

Agency: Leo Burnett Belgrade

Brand: Jelen Beer, Apatinska Pivara Apatin a Molson Coors Company

Awards: FORFEST Montenegro 2012 - First Prize in Banners, Offsite Advertising, Interactive Tools Digital, mobile applications

See the case study at vimeo.com/lab604/jelen-pivo-app

If life’s dear to you – don’t let the deer fail! Jelen Beer Sobriety Test App

When drunk, one’s hands precision and reaction time lessen, and one cannot drive straight and stay on the road. We created a mobile app for Jelen Beer, which tests your sobriety by testing your ability to keep the deer (Jelen beer’s famous logo) on the winding road for 25 seconds. If you fail to pass the sobriety test, your mobile’s GPS will automatically find all available taxi companies near you and call a taxi to take you home safely

Agency: Leo Burnett Belgrade

Brand: Jelen Beer, Apatinska Pivara Apatin a Molson Coors Company

Awards: FORFEST Montenegro 2012 - First Prize in Banners, Offsite Advertising, Interactive Tools Digital, mobile applications

See the case study at vimeo.com/lab604/jelen-pivo-app

We're back at the Monaco Ballroom on Friday December 12th for the final show of 2008!! Make sure you make it to see how the year's feuds end at this season ending super show - GPW: "Christmas Crunch"

We promise we wont crunch your credit.... we'll only crunch your Christmas!!

GPW Heavyweight Title Match

Bubblegum © vs. Dirk Feelgood

Just a few months ago you'd be forgiven for taking a double take at this match. The friendship between the two former friends totally imploded with the desire to become Heavyweight champion. Refusing to accept the demise of his friendship with Dirk Feelgood, Bubblegum spent months in turmoil not wanting to retaliate to the cutting comments and brutal attacks levelled his way by former friend and champion Feelgood. As time went by however, Bubblegum eventually unloaded on Feelgood but this will be the first time the two have ever come face to face in a one on one match. And to make things just a little more interesting... it's for the GPW Heavyweight Title. Can the fairytale championship reign continue for Bubblegum, or can Dirk shatter his dreams and become the first ever 2 time Heavyweight Champ?

Tag Team Special, Skeletor vs. Stella

Lethal Dose vs. Voodoo & "Sober" Mike Holmes

Alan Alan Alan Tasker's henchmen, Lethal Dose march into battle against former stable member Mike Holmes and the man they hold responsible for Holmes' new found sobriety - Voodoo. Cyanide and Toxic hope to tempt Holmes back over to the stable that two months ago he turned his back on. They want to snap him out of the spell they accuse Voodoo of putting him under. However, Holmes seems very happy with his new outlook on life and he and Voodoo look to send Lethal Dose packing in this tag team special. Lethal Dose have warned they will not be coming to the ring alone though, with them along with their attorney and law - Alan Alan Alan Tasker will be a 12 pack of Stella. Hoping the case of beer will prove to be a bigger demon to Holmes than the tag team itself. To fend off the 12 pack, Holmes and Voodoo will have Vooodoo's trusty skull, Skeletor in their corner. An unpredictable tag team match. Can MIke Holmes stay sober? Will Voodoo's spells work? Or will Lethal Dose deliver a beating big enough to break Voodoo's spell?

GPW British Title Match

Jak Dominotrescu vs. "Super" Sam Bailey

After pinning the British Champion last month in a tag team match, WKD's "Super" Sam Bailey has earned himself a title shot at GPW: "Christmas Crunch". Bailey, already a former tag team champion looks to add to his growing reputation by capturing his first ever singles gold in GPW. While reigning champion, Romanian Jak Domitrescu along with his cohorts - The Eastern Bloc look to make life as difficult as possible for the energetic live wire. Domitrescu has held onto the title since April this year with help from his fellow countrymen, but are his days numbered as champ? He surely wont be alone in this title outing and will have the Eastern Bloc close by, but can "Super" Sam Bailey overcome the odds to win his first singles gold in GPW?

And, the main event for the evening is...

GPW Tag Team Title 2/3 Falls Match

MIl-Anfield Connection © vs. Young Offenders

The heat just got turned up in this feud. The re-united Young Offenders have the most established tag team in GPW - The Mil-Anfield Connection firmly in their sights and not to mention the tag team trophy. These two teams met in September this year where there was no clear winner decided after the match ended in a draw. There will be NO excuses this time to not find a winner. This, for the first time in our history will be a 2/3 Falls Match for the tag team titles. A winner HAS to be decided, but who will it be? A truley epic encounter is in our midst as Jiggy Walker & "The Model" Danny Hope try to cling onto the championship that has defined them as a team and "Dangerous" Damon Leigh & Joey Hayes, The Young Offenders chase the title that one of the most popular tag teams in Europe have never held. Can the re-united friends overcome the well established unit that is The Mil-Anfield Connection? Or can the well oiled duo of the Mil-Anfield do what they've been doing all year and win again?

GPW British Title No.1 Contenders Match

Harry Doogle vs. Juice vs. Dylan Roberts vs. Chris Echo

After an eye catchingly good year from rookie Dylan Roberts, he has been included in this battle to earn a shot at the British Title. With a burning desire to win and the fans firmly behind him, Roberts could well mark his arrival onto the main roster by becoming the No.1 Contender and going for gold here. However, his opponents wont give him an easy ride. In a wonderful CC-08 tournament, no one impressed more than WKD's Chris Echo. Echo reached the CC-08 finals with two broken wrists and proved he is ready to take a step up. His previous attempts for British gold have been thwarted by the foreign legion numbers of the Eastern Bloc, is he ready to prove again that he is worthy of being No.1 Contender and finally lift the British title? Juice, the current CC8 champion has been as impressive as ever in singles competition this year, but can he compete in this match with 3 others all vying to be No.1 Contender? Also replacing Jervis Cottonbelly due to injury is Harry Doogle as a last minute entry could one half of the next gen score the upset win? , but with so many possible outcomes who will leave with the plaudits and go on to challenge for the British Title next year?

Lumberjack Match

Si Valour vs. Heresy

A violent and personal feud that has lasted all year long finally comes to a head in what promises to be a violent Lumberjack Match. Ever since brutalising Valour and cutting off all his hair, Heresy has, in some form or other dodged the challenge of Valour. Heresy claimed not to have lost his bottle or be running scared of the 2007 Break Out Star, yet during their Bull Rope clash at GPW: "V" where the two were tied to one another, Heresy still managed to find a way of escaping and creating distance between him and Valour. This time, in a special Lumberjack Match, no matter where either man go - there will be no escape. All lumberjacks will be at the ready to ensure neither man can escape the others clutches and a clear winner, one way or the other will HAVE to be decided. There will be nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide, no matter where they look. Heresy has been one step ahead of Valour all year, is this where he runs out of excuses, or can the master manipulator manipulate another win?

Seen from Brough Haven, the Humber Keel "Sobriety" chugs along a misty and placid Humber on 5th September 2013.

She was built in 1910 at Beverley and is preserved at the Yorkshire Waterways Museum in Goole.

Canon EOS 450D f/10 1300th/sec iso 200

Department of the Air Force Police and 66th Security Forces Squadron personnel held a field sobriety class at Hanscom Air Force Base, Mass., March 10. A detection training class was held prior to evaluating volunteer drinkers (U.S. Air Force photo by Todd Maki)

CMU Police Officer David Coffman gives a student driver a sobriety test during a traffic stop Wednesday night on West Campus Drive. The student was arrested after failing the test. CMU Police had four cars out on the road to handle St. Patrick's day complaints.

for cm-life

Tintype

DUI traffic stop- was arrested and they did find a open bottle in the vehicle

Was an interesting place to take pictures - the only light was that from the lights off the officers cars

We're back at the Monaco Ballroom on Friday December 12th for the final show of 2008!! Make sure you make it to see how the year's feuds end at this season ending super show - GPW: "Christmas Crunch"

We promise we wont crunch your credit.... we'll only crunch your Christmas!!

GPW Heavyweight Title Match

Bubblegum © vs. Dirk Feelgood

Just a few months ago you'd be forgiven for taking a double take at this match. The friendship between the two former friends totally imploded with the desire to become Heavyweight champion. Refusing to accept the demise of his friendship with Dirk Feelgood, Bubblegum spent months in turmoil not wanting to retaliate to the cutting comments and brutal attacks levelled his way by former friend and champion Feelgood. As time went by however, Bubblegum eventually unloaded on Feelgood but this will be the first time the two have ever come face to face in a one on one match. And to make things just a little more interesting... it's for the GPW Heavyweight Title. Can the fairytale championship reign continue for Bubblegum, or can Dirk shatter his dreams and become the first ever 2 time Heavyweight Champ?

Tag Team Special, Skeletor vs. Stella

Lethal Dose vs. Voodoo & "Sober" Mike Holmes

Alan Alan Alan Tasker's henchmen, Lethal Dose march into battle against former stable member Mike Holmes and the man they hold responsible for Holmes' new found sobriety - Voodoo. Cyanide and Toxic hope to tempt Holmes back over to the stable that two months ago he turned his back on. They want to snap him out of the spell they accuse Voodoo of putting him under. However, Holmes seems very happy with his new outlook on life and he and Voodoo look to send Lethal Dose packing in this tag team special. Lethal Dose have warned they will not be coming to the ring alone though, with them along with their attorney and law - Alan Alan Alan Tasker will be a 12 pack of Stella. Hoping the case of beer will prove to be a bigger demon to Holmes than the tag team itself. To fend off the 12 pack, Holmes and Voodoo will have Vooodoo's trusty skull, Skeletor in their corner. An unpredictable tag team match. Can MIke Holmes stay sober? Will Voodoo's spells work? Or will Lethal Dose deliver a beating big enough to break Voodoo's spell?

GPW British Title Match

Jak Dominotrescu vs. "Super" Sam Bailey

After pinning the British Champion last month in a tag team match, WKD's "Super" Sam Bailey has earned himself a title shot at GPW: "Christmas Crunch". Bailey, already a former tag team champion looks to add to his growing reputation by capturing his first ever singles gold in GPW. While reigning champion, Romanian Jak Domitrescu along with his cohorts - The Eastern Bloc look to make life as difficult as possible for the energetic live wire. Domitrescu has held onto the title since April this year with help from his fellow countrymen, but are his days numbered as champ? He surely wont be alone in this title outing and will have the Eastern Bloc close by, but can "Super" Sam Bailey overcome the odds to win his first singles gold in GPW?

And, the main event for the evening is...

GPW Tag Team Title 2/3 Falls Match

MIl-Anfield Connection © vs. Young Offenders

The heat just got turned up in this feud. The re-united Young Offenders have the most established tag team in GPW - The Mil-Anfield Connection firmly in their sights and not to mention the tag team trophy. These two teams met in September this year where there was no clear winner decided after the match ended in a draw. There will be NO excuses this time to not find a winner. This, for the first time in our history will be a 2/3 Falls Match for the tag team titles. A winner HAS to be decided, but who will it be? A truley epic encounter is in our midst as Jiggy Walker & "The Model" Danny Hope try to cling onto the championship that has defined them as a team and "Dangerous" Damon Leigh & Joey Hayes, The Young Offenders chase the title that one of the most popular tag teams in Europe have never held. Can the re-united friends overcome the well established unit that is The Mil-Anfield Connection? Or can the well oiled duo of the Mil-Anfield do what they've been doing all year and win again?

GPW British Title No.1 Contenders Match

Harry Doogle vs. Juice vs. Dylan Roberts vs. Chris Echo

After an eye catchingly good year from rookie Dylan Roberts, he has been included in this battle to earn a shot at the British Title. With a burning desire to win and the fans firmly behind him, Roberts could well mark his arrival onto the main roster by becoming the No.1 Contender and going for gold here. However, his opponents wont give him an easy ride. In a wonderful CC-08 tournament, no one impressed more than WKD's Chris Echo. Echo reached the CC-08 finals with two broken wrists and proved he is ready to take a step up. His previous attempts for British gold have been thwarted by the foreign legion numbers of the Eastern Bloc, is he ready to prove again that he is worthy of being No.1 Contender and finally lift the British title? Juice, the current CC8 champion has been as impressive as ever in singles competition this year, but can he compete in this match with 3 others all vying to be No.1 Contender? Also replacing Jervis Cottonbelly due to injury is Harry Doogle as a last minute entry could one half of the next gen score the upset win? , but with so many possible outcomes who will leave with the plaudits and go on to challenge for the British Title next year?

Lumberjack Match

Si Valour vs. Heresy

A violent and personal feud that has lasted all year long finally comes to a head in what promises to be a violent Lumberjack Match. Ever since brutalising Valour and cutting off all his hair, Heresy has, in some form or other dodged the challenge of Valour. Heresy claimed not to have lost his bottle or be running scared of the 2007 Break Out Star, yet during their Bull Rope clash at GPW: "V" where the two were tied to one another, Heresy still managed to find a way of escaping and creating distance between him and Valour. This time, in a special Lumberjack Match, no matter where either man go - there will be no escape. All lumberjacks will be at the ready to ensure neither man can escape the others clutches and a clear winner, one way or the other will HAVE to be decided. There will be nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide, no matter where they look. Heresy has been one step ahead of Valour all year, is this where he runs out of excuses, or can the master manipulator manipulate another win?

The day (break) after the Heineken Sensation Party. The day before the General Election.

Nightmare.

The alcohol ban starts in, bugger. The alcohol ban started 8 minutes ago.

Or is it 6pm?

Big questions for a big day.

Is Bangkok safe?

- - - - -

Police Prepare For Election Day Expat Sobriety Riots

Bangkok’s Alcoholic Farang Population “Unpredictable”

notthenation.com/2011/06/police-prepare-for-election-day-...

BANGKOK - Thailand’s police have called up all reserve staff for a full show of force ahead of this weekend’s election, as a precaution against unrest and violence from angry, sober alcoholic expatriates during the ban on alcohol sales.

If life’s dear to you – don’t let the deer fail! Jelen Beer Sobriety Test App

When drunk, one’s hands precision and reaction time lessen, and one cannot drive straight and stay on the road. We created a mobile app for Jelen Beer, which tests your sobriety by testing your ability to keep the deer (Jelen beer’s famous logo) on the winding road for 25 seconds. If you fail to pass the sobriety test, your mobile’s GPS will automatically find all available taxi companies near you and call a taxi to take you home safely

Agency: Leo Burnett Belgrade

Brand: Jelen Beer, Apatinska Pivara Apatin a Molson Coors Company

Awards: FORFEST Montenegro 2012 - First Prize in Banners, Offsite Advertising, Interactive Tools Digital, mobile applications

See the case study at vimeo.com/lab604/jelen-pivo-app

Officer J. Burns from the Rohnert Park Public Safety Department was the first policeman that I had contact with during my drive through of the Memorial Day Weekend Sobriety Checkpoint.

If life’s dear to you – don’t let the deer fail! Jelen Beer Sobriety Test App

When drunk, one’s hands precision and reaction time lessen, and one cannot drive straight and stay on the road. We created a mobile app for Jelen Beer, which tests your sobriety by testing your ability to keep the deer (Jelen beer’s famous logo) on the winding road for 25 seconds. If you fail to pass the sobriety test, your mobile’s GPS will automatically find all available taxi companies near you and call a taxi to take you home safely

Agency: Leo Burnett Belgrade

Brand: Jelen Beer, Apatinska Pivara Apatin a Molson Coors Company

Awards: FORFEST Montenegro 2012 - First Prize in Banners, Offsite Advertising, Interactive Tools Digital, mobile applications

See the case study at vimeo.com/lab604/jelen-pivo-app

©AVucha 2015

A Woodstock Police Sergeant conducted field sobriety tests on a male motorcyclist after he rear-ended another motorist around 1:30am on May 16th. After failing the sobriety tests the motorcyclists was subsequently arrested and charged with driving under the influence.

Woodstock, Illinois

This photograph is being made available only for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial material, advertisements, emails, products, promotions without the expressed consent of Alex Vucha.

If life’s dear to you – don’t let the deer fail! Jelen Beer Sobriety Test App

When drunk, one’s hands precision and reaction time lessen, and one cannot drive straight and stay on the road. We created a mobile app for Jelen Beer, which tests your sobriety by testing your ability to keep the deer (Jelen beer’s famous logo) on the winding road for 25 seconds. If you fail to pass the sobriety test, your mobile’s GPS will automatically find all available taxi companies near you and call a taxi to take you home safely

Agency: Leo Burnett Belgrade

Brand: Jelen Beer, Apatinska Pivara Apatin a Molson Coors Company

Awards: FORFEST Montenegro 2012 - First Prize in Banners, Offsite Advertising, Interactive Tools Digital, mobile applications

See the case study at vimeo.com/lab604/jelen-pivo-app

Maria Theresa as a Widow, 1773

Maron depicts the empress in the widow's weeds that she always wore after the death of Emperor Francis Stephen in 1765. Her only jewellery is the cross of the Order of the Starry Cross. She is allegorically enhanced of the personification of "peace through strength" in the background. The only coloured accent ist the "Transylvanien" carpet at her feet. The portrait differs from the resplendent courtly portraits of the previous period in its sobriety and lack of decoration.

Anton von Maron (1731-1808)

Marie-Thérèse de veuve, 1733

Maron représente l'impératrice dans ses habits de veuve, qu'elle portait toujours après la mort de Franz Stephan en 1765. Allégoriquement surmonté par la personnification de la «paix par la fermeté", est son seul bijou la croix de l'Ordre de la Croix-étoilée. La seule note de couleur est le "tapis de Transylvanie" à ses pieds. Le portrait se distingue par son manque d'effort décoratif, sa sobriété des portraits voyantes de l'époque précédente.

Anton von Maron (1731-1808)

María Teresa de viuda, 1733

Maron represente la emperatriz en traje de viuda, que ella siempre llevaba tras la muerte de Francisco Esteban en 1765. Alegóricamente superado por la personificación de la "paz mediante la fuerza", su única joya es la cruz de la Orden de la Cruz Estrellada. El único acento de color es la "alfombra de Transilvania" a sus pies. El retrato se distingue por su falta de esfuerzo decorativo, su sobriedad de los retratos llamativos de la época anterior.

Anton von Maron (1731-1808)

Maria Theresia als Witwe, 1733

Maron stellt die Kaiserin in Witwentracht vor, die sie seit dem Tod Franz Stephans 1765 immer trug. Allegorisch durch die Personifikation des "Friedens durch Festigkeit" überhöht, ist ihr einziger Schmuck das Kreuz des Sternkreuzordens. Einziger farbiger Akzent ist der "Siebenbürgerteppich" zu ihren Füßen. Das Bildnis unterscheidet sich durch seinen Mangel an dekorativem Aufwand, seine Nüchternheit von den prunkenden Porträts der vorangehenden Zeit.

Austria Kunsthistorisches Museum

Federal Museum

Logo KHM

Regulatory authority (ies)/organs to the Federal Ministry for Education, Science and Culture

Founded 17 October 1891

Headquartered Castle Ring (Burgring), Vienna 1, Austria

Management Sabine Haag

www.khm.at website

Main building of the Kunsthistorisches Museum at Maria-Theresa-Square

The Kunsthistorisches Museum (KHM abbreviated) is an art museum in Vienna. It is one of the largest and most important museums in the world. It was opened in 1891 and 2012 visited of 1.351.940 million people.

The museum

The Kunsthistorisches Museum is with its opposite sister building, the Natural History Museum (Naturhistorisches Museum), the most important historicist large buildings of the Ringstrasse time. Together they stand around the Maria Theresa square, on which also the Maria Theresa monument stands. This course spans the former glacis between today's ring road and 2-line, and is forming a historical landmark that also belongs to World Heritage Site Historic Centre of Vienna.

History

Archduke Leopold Wilhelm in his Gallery

The Museum came from the collections of the Habsburgs, especially from the portrait and armor collections of Ferdinand of Tyrol, the collection of Emperor Rudolf II (most of which, however scattered) and the art collection of Archduke Leopold Wilhelm into existence. Already In 1833 asked Joseph Arneth, curator (and later director) of the Imperial Coins and Antiquities Cabinet, bringing together all the imperial collections in a single building .

Architectural History

The contract to build the museum in the city had been given in 1858 by Emperor Franz Joseph. Subsequently, many designs were submitted for the ring road zone. Plans by August Sicard von Sicardsburg and Eduard van der Null planned to build two museum buildings in the immediate aftermath of the Imperial Palace on the left and right of the Heroes' Square (Heldenplatz). The architect Ludwig Förster planned museum buildings between the Schwarzenberg Square and the City Park, Martin Ritter von Kink favored buildings at the corner Währingerstraße/ Scots ring (Schottenring), Peter Joseph, the area Bellariastraße, Moritz von Loehr the south side of the opera ring, and Ludwig Zettl the southeast side of the grain market (Getreidemarkt).

From 1867, a competition was announced for the museums, and thereby set their current position - at the request of the Emperor, the museum should not be too close to the Imperial Palace, but arise beyond the ring road. The architect Carl von Hasenauer participated in this competition and was able the at that time in Zürich operating Gottfried Semper to encourage to work together. The two museum buildings should be built here in the sense of the style of the Italian Renaissance. The plans got the benevolence of the imperial family. In April 1869, there was an audience with of Joseph Semper at the Emperor Franz Joseph and an oral contract was concluded, in July 1870 was issued the written order to Semper and Hasenauer.

Crucial for the success of Semper and Hasenauer against the projects of other architects were among others Semper's vision of a large building complex called "Imperial Forum", in which the museums would have been a part of. Not least by the death of Semper in 1879 came the Imperial Forum not as planned for execution, the two museums were built, however.

Construction of the two museums began without ceremony on 27 November 1871 instead. Semper moved to Vienna in the sequence. From the beginning, there were considerable personal differences between him and Hasenauer, who finally in 1877 took over sole construction management. 1874, the scaffolds were placed up to the attic and the first floor completed, built in 1878, the first windows installed in 1879, the Attica and the balustrade from 1880 to 1881 and built the dome and the Tabernacle. The dome is topped with a bronze statue of Pallas Athena by Johannes Benk.

The lighting and air conditioning concept with double glazing of the ceilings made ​​the renunciation of artificial light (especially at that time, as gas light) possible, but this resulted due to seasonal variations depending on daylight to different opening times .

Kuppelhalle

Entrance (by clicking the link at the end of the side you can see all the pictures here indicated!)

Grand staircase

Hall

Empire

The Kunsthistorisches Museum was on 17 October 1891 officially opened by Emperor Franz Joseph I. Since 22 October 1891 , the museum is accessible to the public. Two years earlier, on 3 November 1889, the collection of arms, Arms and Armour today, had their doors open. On 1 January 1890 the library service resumed its operations. The merger and listing of other collections of the Highest Imperial Family from the Upper and Lower Belvedere, the Hofburg Palace and Ambras in Tyrol will need another two years.

189, the farm museum was organized in seven collections with three directorates:

Directorate of coins, medals and antiquities collection

The Egyptian Collection

The Antique Collection

The coins and medals collection

Management of the collection of weapons, art and industrial objects

Weapons collection

Collection of industrial art objects

Directorate of Art Gallery and Restaurieranstalt (Restoration Office)

Collection of watercolors, drawings, sketches, etc.

Restoration Office

Library

Very soon the room the Court Museum (Hofmuseum) for the imperial collections was offering became too narrow. To provide temporary help, an exhibition of ancient artifacts from Ephesus in the Theseus Temple was designed. However, additional space had to be rented in the Lower Belvedere.

1914, after the assassination of Franz Ferdinand, heir to the throne, his " Estonian Forensic Collection " passed to the administration of the Court Museum. This collection, which emerged from the art collection of the house of d' Este and world travel collection of Franz Ferdinand, was placed in the New Imperial Palace since 1908. For these stocks, the present collection of old musical instruments and the Museum of Ethnology emerged.

The First World War went by, apart from the oppressive economic situation without loss. The farm museum remained during the five years of war regularly open to the public.

Until 1919 the K.K. Art Historical Court Museum was under the authority of the Oberstkämmereramt (head chamberlain office) and belonged to the House of Habsburg-Lorraine. The officials and employees were part of the royal household.

First Republic

The transition from monarchy to republic, in the museum took place in complete tranquility. On 19 November 1918 the two imperial museums on Maria Theresa Square were placed under the state protection of the young Republic of German Austria. Threatening to the stocks of the museum were the claims raised in the following weeks and months of the "successor states" of the monarchy as well as Italy and Belgium on Austrian art collection. In fact, it came on 12th February 1919 to the violent removal of 62 paintings by armed Italian units. This "art theft" left a long time trauma among curators and art historians.

It was not until the Treaty of Saint-Germain of 10 September 1919, providing in Article 195 and 196 the settlement of rights in the cultural field by negotiations. The claims of Belgium, Czechoslovakia, and Italy again could mostly being averted in this way. Only Hungary, which presented the greatest demands by far, was met by more than ten years of negotiation in 147 cases.

On 3 April 1919 was the expropriation of the House of Habsburg-Lorraine by law and the acquisition of its property, including the "Collections of the Imperial House" , by the Republic. Of 18 June 1920 the then provisional administration of the former imperial museums and collections of Este and the secular and clergy treasury passed to the State Office of Internal Affairs and Education, since 10 November 1920, the Federal Ministry of the Interior and Education. A few days later it was renamed the Art History Court Museum in the "Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna State", 1921 "Kunsthistorisches Museum" . Of 1st January 1921 the employees of the museum staff passed to the state of the Republic.

Through the acquisition of the former imperial collections owned by the state, the museum found itself in a complete new situation. In order to meet the changed circumstances in the museum area, designed Hans Tietze in 1919 the "Vienna Museum program". It provided a close cooperation between the individual museums to focus at different houses on main collections. So dominated exchange, sales and equalizing the acquisition policy in the interwar period. Thus resulting until today still valid collection trends. Also pointing the way was the relocation of the weapons collection from 1934 in its present premises in the New Castle, where since 1916 the collection of ancient musical instruments was placed.

With the change of the imperial collections in the ownership of the Republic the reorganization of the internal organization went hand in hand, too. Thus the museum was divided in 1919 into the

Egyptian and Near Eastern Collection (with the Oriental coins)

Collection of Classical Antiquities

Collection of ancient coins

Collection of modern coins and medals

Weapons collection

Collection of sculptures and crafts with the Collection of Ancient Musical Instruments

Picture Gallery

The Museum 1938-1945

Count Philipp Ludwig Wenzel Sinzendorf according to Rigaud. Clarisse 1948 by Baroness de Rothschildt "dedicated" to the memory of Baron Alphonse de Rothschildt; restituted to the Rothschilds in 1999, and in 1999 donated by Bettina Looram Rothschild, the last Austrian heiress.

With the "Anschluss" of Austria to the German Reich all Jewish art collections such as the Rothschilds were forcibly "Aryanised". Collections were either "paid" or simply distributed by the Gestapo at the museums. This resulted in a significant increase in stocks. But the KHM was not the only museum that benefited from the linearization. Systematically looted Jewish property was sold to museums, collections or in pawnshops throughout the empire.

After the war, the museum struggled to reimburse the "Aryanised" art to the owners or their heirs. They forced the Rothschild family to leave the most important part of their own collection to the museum and called this "dedications", or "donations". As a reason, was the export law stated, which does not allow owners to perform certain works of art out of the country. Similar methods were used with other former owners. Only on the basis of international diplomatic and media pressure, to a large extent from the United States, the Austrian government decided to make a change in the law (Art Restitution Act of 1998, the so-called Lex Rothschild). The art objects were the Rothschild family refunded only in the 1990s.

The Kunsthistorisches Museum operates on the basis of the federal law on the restitution of art objects from the 4th December 1998 (Federal Law Gazette I, 181 /1998) extensive provenance research. Even before this decree was carried out in-house provenance research at the initiative of the then archive director Herbert Haupt. This was submitted in 1998 by him in collaboration with Lydia Grobl a comprehensive presentation of the facts about the changes in the inventory levels of the Kunsthistorisches Museum during the Nazi era and in the years leading up to the State Treaty of 1955, an important basis for further research provenance.

The two historians Susanne Hehenberger and Monika Löscher are since 1st April 2009 as provenance researchers at the Kunsthistorisches Museum on behalf of the Commission for Provenance Research operating and they deal with the investigation period from 1933 to the recent past.

The museum today

Today the museum is as a federal museum, with 1st January 1999 released to the full legal capacity - it was thus the first of the state museums of Austria, implementing the far-reaching self-financing. It is by far the most visited museum in Austria with 1.3 million visitors (2007).

The Kunsthistorisches Museum is under the name Kunsthistorisches Museum and Museum of Ethnology and the Austrian Theatre Museum with company number 182081t since 11 June 1999 as a research institution under public law of the Federal virtue of the Federal Museums Act, Federal Law Gazette I/115/1998 and the Museum of Procedure of the Kunsthistorisches Museum and Museum of Ethnology and the Austrian Theatre Museum, 3 January 2001, BGBl II 2/ 2001, in force since 1 January 2001, registered.

In fiscal 2008, the turnover was 37.185 million EUR and total assets amounted to EUR 22.204 million. In 2008 an average of 410 workers were employed.

Management

1919-1923: Gustav Glück as the first chairman of the College of science officials

1924-1933: Hermann Julius Hermann 1924-1925 as the first chairman of the College of the scientific officers in 1925 as first director

1933: Arpad Weixlgärtner first director

1934-1938: Alfred Stix first director

1938-1945: Fritz Dworschak 1938 as acting head, from 1938 as a chief in 1941 as first director

1945-1949: August von Loehr 1945-1948 as executive director of the State Art Collections in 1949 as general director of the historical collections of the Federation

1945-1949: Alfred Stix 1945-1948 as executive director of the State Art Collections in 1949 as general director of art historical collections of the Federation

1949-1950: Hans Demel as administrative director

1950: Karl Wisoko-Meytsky as general director of art and historical collections of the Federation

1951-1952: Fritz Eichler as administrative director

1953-1954: Ernst H. Buschbeck as administrative director

1955-1966: Vincent Oberhammer 1955-1959 as administrative director, from 1959 as first director

1967: Edward Holzmair as managing director

1968-1972: Erwin Auer first director

1973-1981: Friderike Klauner first director

1982-1990: Hermann Fillitz first director

1990: George Kugler as interim first director

1990-2008: Wilfried Seipel as general director

Since 2009: Sabine Haag as general director

Collections

To the Kunsthistorisches Museum are also belonging the collections of the New Castle, the Austrian Theatre Museum in Palais Lobkowitz, the Museum of Ethnology and the Wagenburg (wagon fortress) in an outbuilding of Schönbrunn Palace. A branch office is also Ambras in Innsbruck.

Kunsthistorisches Museum (main building)

Picture Gallery

Egyptian and Near Eastern Collection

Collection of Classical Antiquities

Vienna Chamber of Art

Numismatic Collection

Library

New Castle

Ephesus Museum

Collection of Ancient Musical Instruments

Arms and Armour

Archive

Hofburg

The imperial crown in the Treasury

Imperial Treasury of Vienna

Insignia of the Austrian Hereditary Homage

Insignia of imperial Austria

Insignia of the Holy Roman Empire

Burgundian Inheritance and the Order of the Golden Fleece

Habsburg-Lorraine Household Treasure

Ecclesiastical Treasury

Schönbrunn Palace

Imperial Carriage Museum Vienna

Armory in Ambras Castle

Ambras Castle

Collections of Ambras Castle

Major exhibits

Among the most important exhibits of the Art Gallery rank inter alia:

Jan van Eyck: Cardinal Niccolò Albergati, 1438

Martin Schongauer: Holy Family, 1475-80

Albrecht Dürer : Trinity Altar, 1509-16

Portrait Johann Kleeberger, 1526

Parmigianino: Self Portrait in Convex Mirror, 1523/24

Giuseppe Arcimboldo: Summer 1563

Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio: Madonna of the Rosary 1606/ 07

Caravaggio: Madonna of the Rosary (1606-1607)

Titian: Nymph and Shepherd to 1570-75

Portrait of Jacopo de Strada, 1567/68

Raffaello Santi: Madonna of the Meadow, 1505 /06

Lorenzo Lotto: Portrait of a young man against white curtain, 1508

Peter Paul Rubens: The altar of St. Ildefonso, 1630-32

The Little Fur, about 1638

Jan Vermeer: The Art of Painting, 1665/66

Pieter Bruegel the Elder: Fight between Carnival and Lent, 1559

Kids, 1560

Tower of Babel, 1563

Christ Carrying the Cross, 1564

Gloomy Day (Early Spring), 1565

Return of the Herd (Autumn), 1565

Hunters in the Snow (Winter) 1565

Bauer and bird thief, 1568

Peasant Wedding, 1568/69

Peasant Dance, 1568/69

Paul's conversion (Conversion of St Paul), 1567

Cabinet of Curiosities:

Saliera from Benvenuto Cellini 1539-1543

Egyptian-Oriental Collection:

Mastaba of Ka Ni Nisut

Collection of Classical Antiquities:

Gemma Augustea

Treasure of Nagyszentmiklós

Gallery: Major exhibits

de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kunsthistorisches_Museum

Due to my sobriety and contacts in AA. I was able to rent this apartment in Key West when I moved back from Denver in January 2008 for just $620 per month including all Bills :-) In return for cheap rent I collected rent from 8 others in same complex each Saturday morning. It was a lovely place to live for 20 months cheaply

Virtual dance show 'Body & Soul' by La Performance, April/May 2015

www.la-performance.org/dance/498/twist-in-my-sobriety

I am writing this when the day is not yet done. In fact, local time is 15:45, but we have done lots.

This is our last full day in the city, and my main aim today was go visit the Cathedral. I would have gone yesterday, but I was so hot and bothered and there was too many people.

So, put it off to today.

We were awake before seven, but lay in bed listening to the amazing silence that we enjoy here, despite being in a city. Each city block in this area looks onto a flattened area, not sure that the building is that our room looks onto, but it does mean we are isolated from the sound of the main roads nearby.

Which is nice.

We get up, shower and get dressed before going down for breakfast, which we time perfectly just before the stampede of the other guests. We have a prized table beside the window, overlooking the main road which had light traffic, for now.

Danes complain that the UK gets the best bacon and ruins it. In which case they should see what the Spanish do with bacon. Anyway, I had a small bacon roll, which did OK, but better was the three coffees which put a spring into my step.

I hoped.

Churches seems to open at half ten after the half nine Mass, meaning we had 90 minutes to walk the mile into the city, which we now know like we're locals.

My feet ache, 19,000 steps on Thursday meant that they had fewer miles in the tank this day. So, we ambled into the city centre, then took up a place looking at the porch to see when a queue might form. We had 45 minutes to wait.

We sat in the shade, and once I saw more people milling around outside the cathedral, we went over and took front place in the queue, with just 15 minutes until it opened.

I was indeed the first inside, once we paid the €9 entry fee, and so I was able to get shots with few people in them.

The Cathedral is home to the Holy Grain/Chalice. Or the one with the longest provenance, dating back to circa 2nd century AD. It's not well signposted, and seems to be in the old Chapterhouse, and is set in the middle of a dozen fine carvings. I found it by going into the museum, which exits into the Chapel.

The rest of the Cathedral is splendid, though not with the Baroque details of St Nicholas, but I go round to most of the fabulous fixtures, icons, statues and paintings, though we did not take up the offer to climb the 208 steps up the tower.

Not with these legs.

We went back outside, sat some more, and pondered what to do with the rest of the day.

Jools wanted to go swimming. So, we walk back to the hotel with the aim of picking up her costume and heading out after a half hour lay down. All was going well, but though of ice cream and/or breakfast came to mind.

A café door was open, so we went in for a drink of orange juice. But that turned into a plate of Iberian ham and fresh bread. The ham, was sensational, served with a tomato pesto, and went down very well indeed. So satisfied I was tempted to have a coffee too.

Then back to the hotel for a shave, as I could not find the razor I got out, so we had to search out a chemist to buy one. So, in ten minutes, I was shorn and lovely, then smothered in after shave.

Outside, we flagged down a taxi, and Jools explained we wanted to go to the beach. And the driver lurched off, at warp factor eight.

A twenty minute drive took us the other side of the port and marina, there was a wide beach, with a promenade and bars, restaurants.

I sat on the sea wall, while Jools went to the shore to have her swim. I was entertained by a guy with a guitar and his girlfriend on sax, murdering holiday favourites, turning every genre into muzak.

Once Jools had come back and changed into t shirt and shorts, we walk down the row of places to eat and were tempted into the second place, which offered three courses for €16. Baked cheese, followed by pork in a pepper sauce and rounded off with a coffee.

Not bad.

Not great either. But it'll do.

We walked to the main road, flagged a cab down to take us back to the hotel.

------------------------------------------------

Valencia Cathedral, at greater length the Metropolitan Cathedral–Basilica of the Assumption of Our Lady of Valencia (Spanish: Iglesia Catedral-Basílica Metropolitana de la Asunción de Nuestra Señora de Valencia, Valencian: Església Catedral-Basílica Metropolitana de l'Assumpció de la Mare de Déu de València), also known as St Mary's Cathedral, is a Roman Catholic church in Valencia, Spain.

The cathedral was consecrated in 1238 by the first bishop of Valencia after the Reconquista, Pere d'Albalat, Archbishop of Tarragona, and was dedicated to Saint Mary by order of James I the Conqueror. It was built over the site of the former Visigothic cathedral, which under the Moors had been turned into a mosque. Valencian Gothic is the predominant architectural style of the cathedral, although it also contains Romanesque, French Gothic, Renaissance, Baroque and Neoclassical elements.

The cathedral contains numerous 15th-century paintings, some by local artists (such as Jacomart), others by artists from Rome engaged by the Valencian Pope Alexander VI who, when still a cardinal, made the request to elevate the Valencian See to the rank of metropolitan see, a category granted by Pope Innocent VIII in 1492.

A purported Holy Chalice, believed by many to be the true Holy Grail, is kept in one of the cathedral's chapels.[1]

Most of Valencia Cathedral was built between the 13th century and the 15th century, and this style was mainly Gothic. However, its construction went on for centuries.[2] As a consequence there is a mixture of artistic styles, ranging from the early Romanesque, Valencian Gothic, Renaissance, Baroque and Neoclassical.

Excavations of Almoina Archaeological Centre have unearthed the remains of the ancient Visigothic cathedral, which later became a mosque.[3] There is documentary evidence that some decades after the Christian conquest of the city (1238), the mosque-cathedral remained standing, even with the Koranic inscriptions on the walls, until 22 June 1262, when the then bishop Andreu d'Albalat [4] resolved to knock it down and build a new cathedral in its place according to the plans of the architect Arnau Vidal.[5] Hypothetically, the ancient Muslim mosque would correspond with the current transept of the cathedral, the Apostles' gate would be the entrance to the mosque and the Almoina ("alms") gate the mihrab.[6]

Stones from neighboring quarries in Burjassot and Godella were used to build the cathedral, but also from other more distant quarries such as those in Benidorm and Xàbia which came by boat.

Some reasons for the simplicity and sobriety of Valencia Cathedral are that it was built quickly to mark the Christian territory against the Muslims, and that it was not a work by a king, but by the local bourgeoisie

Although there are several styles of construction, this cathedral is basically a Gothic building, a cruciform plan with transepts north and south, and a crossing covered by an octagonal tower (cimbori), with an ambulatory and a polygonal apse.

This cathedral was begun at the end of the 13th century (1270–1300) at the same time as the mosque was being demolished. The first part to be finished was the ambulatory with its eight radiating chapels, and the Almoina Romanesque gate.

Dome of the Cathedral of Valencia.

Bell Tower, Miguelete Tower

"Door of the Irons"

Between 1300 and 1350 the crossing was finished and its west side went up as far as the Baroque Apostles' Gate. Three out of the four sections of the naves and transepts were also built. The crossing tower (cimbori or eight-sided dome) was also begun.

The old chapter house (today Holy Grail Chapel, 1356–1369), where the canons met to discuss internal affairs, and the Miguelete Tower, known as El Miguelete in Castilian Spanish or Torre del Micalet in the Valencian language, were initially separate from the rest of the church, but in 1459 the architects Francesc Baldomar and Pere Compte expanded the nave and transepts in a further section, known as Arcada Nova, and finally joined both the chapter house and the Micalet with the rest of the cathedral, thereby attaining 94 metres (308 feet) in length and 53.65 metres (176.0 feet) in width.

The centuries of the Renaissance (15th-16th centuries) had little influence on the architecture of the cathedral but much more on its pictorial decoration, such as the one at the high altar, and sculptural decoration, such as the one in the Resurrection chapel.

During the Baroque period, the German Konrad Rudolf designed in 1703 the main door of the cathedral, known as the Iron gate due to the cast-iron fence that surrounds it. Because of the War of the Spanish Succession he could not finish it, and this task fell mainly to the sculptors Francisco Vergara and Ignacio Vergara. Its concave shape, which causes a unique and studied perspective effect, was distorted during the 20th century because of the demolition of some adjacent buildings (in what was formerly Saragossa Street) to expand the square (Plaza de la Reina).

A project to renew the building was launched during the last third of the 18th century, whose intention was to give a uniform neoclassical appearance to the church, different from the original Gothic style that was then considered a vulgar work in comparison. Works started in 1774, directed by the architect Antoni Gilabert Fornés. The reshuffle affected both constructive and ornamental elements: the pinnacles were removed outside, and the Gothic structure was masked by stucco and other pseudo-classical elements.

In 1931 the church was declared a historic and artistic landmark by the Spanish government, but during the Spanish Civil War it was burned, which meant that it lost part of its decorative elements. The choir, located in the central part, was dismantled in 1940 and moved to the bottom of the high altar. The musical organs, which had suffered major damage during the war, were never rebuilt.

Also in 1970, the Houses of Canons, a building attached to the chapels facing Micalet street, were demolished to give the cathedral back its previous appearance, and at the same time elements of little or no architectural value were removed.

The task of removing the Neoclassical elements in order to recover the original Gothic aspect was undertaken in 1972. The only Neoclassical elements spared were most of the ambulatory chapels, and some isolated elements such as the sculptures at the base of the dome (cimbori).

After several restorations, the cathedral is currently in a good state of preservation, especially after the exhibition of 1999 named The Image’s Light.[8] It was once again declared a cultural landmark, this time by the regional Valencian government (Consell de la Generalitat Valenciana).

A purported Holy Chalice, believed by many to be the true Holy Grail,[9] is revered in one of the cathedral's chapels. It has been the official chalice for many popes, and has been used by many others, most recently by Pope Benedict XVI, on July 9, 2006.[10] This chalice with Arabic inscriptions dates from the 1st century, and was given to the cathedral by king Alfonso V of Aragon in 1436.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valencia_Cathedral

If life’s dear to you – don’t let the deer fail! Jelen Beer Sobriety Test App

When drunk, one’s hands precision and reaction time lessen, and one cannot drive straight and stay on the road. We created a mobile app for Jelen Beer, which tests your sobriety by testing your ability to keep the deer (Jelen beer’s famous logo) on the winding road for 25 seconds. If you fail to pass the sobriety test, your mobile’s GPS will automatically find all available taxi companies near you and call a taxi to take you home safely

Agency: Leo Burnett Belgrade

Brand: Jelen Beer, Apatinska Pivara Apatin a Molson Coors Company

Awards: FORFEST Montenegro 2012 - First Prize in Banners, Offsite Advertising, Interactive Tools Digital, mobile applications

See the case study at vimeo.com/lab604/jelen-pivo-app

140805-M-DM081-001

CAMP FOSTER, OKINAWA, Japan — U.S. Marine Cpl. Gilberto Morales, left, demonstrates how to complete a standard field sobriety test to Japan Air Self-Defense Force Staff Sgt. Akinori Kobayashi, right, during a visit by Japan Self-Defense Force service members to the Provost Marshal’s Office Aug. 5 on Camp Foster. During the JSDF’s visit, U.S. Marine military police demonstrated different techniques to identify whether a person is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Morales is a San Diego, California, native and military policeman with PMO, Marine Corps Base Camp Butler, Marine Corps Installations Pacific. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Brittany A. James/Released)

I don't say "Cheese" when i take pictorial portraits of people so i don't appreciate the "Cheesy"critiques.

Pulled over on a suspected DWI, a woman in heels walks during the field sobriety test.

Want to use this image? Please include photo credit (with link) to www.houstondwiattorney.net, as described in the following terms: www.houstondwiattorney.net/creative-common-photos/

Originally built in 1667, it is the largest temple of Zen Buddhism in Guizhou Province. It features majesty and sobriety. Hongfu means to develop Buddha's spirits and to benefit mankind. Today it is rated as one of the 142 National Key Temple Sscenic Areas as well as the Key Cultural Relic Preservation in Guizhou Province.

'Hongfu' is Chinese for 'good fortune', which is an apt name for the temple considering its history. It was in 1672 when Chisong, a monk during the Ming Dynasty founded the temple. It had very poor beginnings, being little more than a small hut, but Chisong was determined that it should become a revered shrine and through his persistence many local officials gave their support. In time the temple was to become the most important Buddhist temple in the area.

When you visit the temple, on entering the gate, you will first see the Bell Tower and the Drum Tower on both sides. The bronze bell weighs more than 3,000 jin in Chinese measurement (equal to about 3,300 pounds), and was cast in 1469 during the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644).

On entering the first hall named Heavenly King Hall, you can see the carved statues of Maitreya Buddha and the four Heavenly Kings. On its walls there are also steles of sutra and huge paintings. The second main hall is the Bodhisattva Hall dedicated to Skanda Bodhisattva, and Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara with 32 arms. Inside the third hall named Mahavira Hall there are gilded statues of Sakyamuni, juuhachi rakan (or the 18 arhats), and others. There's also a jade Buddha statue that is from Rangoon, the capital of Burma. It is 1.5 meters (4.92 feet) high and weighs 900 kilograms (1984 pounds). The statue is made out of choice jade and looks beneficent but solemn, and it stands among more than 10 other jade statues of Bodhisattva and Maitreya.

Besides these superb halls, the temple is also adorned with galleries, pools, and springs, which are of high artistic value. In recent years many prominent people have visited the temple and in accordance with Chinese tradition have left poetry in praise of the inspiring architecture and its setting. A stroll through the temple compound will enable you to enjoy its peaceful environment while reflecting upon its splendid past.

EMO. editorial board of its contributors.

[Toronto], Coma Goats Press, Curvd H&z, Proper Tales Press, Sobriety House, Spider Plots In Rat-Holes & Surrealist Poets' Gardening Association, for 27 october 1984. 4oo copies issued as Coma Goats 37 & Curvd H&z 298.

4 pp printed, photocopy. 5-1/2 x 8-1/2, leaflet.

the contributors are jwcurry (visual poem), Mark Laba (poem), Lillian Necakov (cover collage) & Stuart Ross (prose).

1.oo

Watch the entire film at tinyurl.com/auntcarol

Wanda’s crazy Aunt Carol is on the loose again from Sobriety Acres. This time she’s skipping through the countryside, saving cute woodland creatures and dodging celebrity-driven death mobiles!

wandawisdom.com

adamlessordinary.com

via Last.fm ift.tt/Pwvvt1

04/11/2022, 07:44

According to all the news outlets I am reading, we all need to stand on one leg and balance ourselves, and we could live up to ten years longer. What with that and blueberries, the ‘super-fruit’, we should have no problem seeing the next millennium in. I don’t know what the real reason might be; why they, the powers that be, would want us all to stand on one foot. I can’t help but wonder, at the same time, if it’s been recommended to the sadly beleaguered citizens of Kherson as well.

Have you tried it?

There seems to be no indication anywhere as to why they think living into your hundreds might be a good idea. I don’t think I would want to, even. Looking at your mother’s chaotic unravelling must leave you feeling this way too. Still, from experience, the watching of Jeffrey, Mark, my mother and father, and others dying, they all did seem a little bit bewildered, as if they still thought they were children, and this shouldn’t be happening to them. But then, if you try to open up the discussion and try to talk about it, you are called morbid, fatalistic, or pessimistic.

Either way you can’t win. I am heading off to stand on one leg, with the rest of the world, enjoying our current burgeoning apocalypse.

I guess that's the 'keep fit' part, that taking care of yourself. Lucinda doesn't mention forgoing alcohol in her list describing the considerate ways to die, or avoid dying, but I guess that could be included in her "stay lucid", though some people consider they become more lucid with a little help from a bevvy, more outgoing. I used to think I was more sociable with a drink taken (that bitter-sweet delusion). Maybe lucid Lucinda might try standing on one leg, as recommended, it might even make dying, and living, easier. Who knows?

Standing, flamingo-like, on a bench is even better, according to the Guardian. It really adds those years on to the old life-expectancy, apparently, though isn't really recommended if you have unknowingly stepped in dog-shit.

Photo 1. (Guardian copyrighted)

At the same time the Guardian goes full hog with its attached photo, of what could be described, perhaps, as a typical Guardian reader. He is, I would guess, 35 years old (youthful to me, at least), pate shaved bald with a fetching beard and moustache. His immaculate grey/blue (battleship grey?) freshly ironed tee-shirt is paired with tasteful black shorts, cut to the knees, with matching battleship-grey inserts at the pockets. His tree-trunk, strong, legs are complimented by his designer sports-shoes in equally seductive dark grey with lemon-yellow trim, complimenting the blue grey of his upper body garment, reflected somewhat in the scantily clouded sky. His intense brown eyes suggest a certain ‘knowing’, and there is a trace of a smile on his full lips, partially obscured by his facial hair. There is definitely a ‘Leonardo’ aspect there, not the Ninja Turtle guy, the other one, that painter. Though at the same time the turtle is also referenced in the ‘stance’. The Guardian takes the lead here, by upping the ante: the dreaded one-legged stance, whilst perched on a park bench. In the background, further back along the roughly tarmacadamed footpath, a very out-of-focus dog can be seen, looking in the direction of ‘Guardian-Man’. Our hero is not breaking a sweat, as he balances precariously, arms outstretched, one foot raised, victoriously, from the bench he is half-standing on, indifferent to the dog and the possibility of his ever having actually, accidentally, thread on aberrant dog pooh. The Guardian leads us heroically towards everlasting life as the soft-focus council-estate fades into the background. One is put in mind of a sublime Jacques-Louis David tableau, dare I say ‘Napoleon Crossing the Alps’, minus a horse, heading towards one-legged infinity.

Photo 2 (Daily Mail Copyrighted)

The 'Daily Mail' man combines the whole shebang with gardening and a sensible jacket, a sobriety I don’t often note in that particular organ.

This time it’s an older gentleman, though eons younger than yours truly, he is still impressively closer, than 'Guardian Man', to that edge we are all desperately avoiding here. I would guess he is in his late fifties, a member of that heading-towards-invisibility generation, without having fully quite developed that enviable super-power yet. But there he flamingos, arms fully outstretched in a palms-down-facing cruciform stance, again with that Leonardo half-grin which seems to accompany this manoeuvre almost universally in our double-blind survey. He stands next to a sturdy oak (?) to his left. What do I know of trees? To his right we can see his small, but perfectly formed, vegetable and herb patch, making one wonder if this photo might have been headed originally towards the Guardian, but somehow got waylaid. There is a bamboo stick, some support system for tomatoes or whatever, leaning directly to the right of the man, echoing his own slight lean in the same direction, perhaps indicating a wobblier life expectancy than the gentleman half-standing on the bench in the Guardian. Our older ‘flamingo man’ is dressed more soberly than the first described. He is wearing casually mismatched, though respectable, trousers and jacket, and a generic plaid, lumberjack, shirt, and formal dress shoes. His ensemble is set off by sensible glasses, possibly varifocals. It looks like the photo might have been taken by his wife, or husband, after a drink or two, though at the same time I would guess the gentleman to be cis-gender, using the pronouns ‘he’ and ‘him’, though one doesn’t like to assume (especially in the Daily Mail, or Guardian come to think of it).

Photo 3 (photos and video, even, all 'Men's Health' copyrighted)

'Men's Health' magazine leads with: CAN YOU STAND on one foot for 10 seconds? It’s more than a party trick—your one-legged stance could play a part in predicting how long you’ll live."

Anyway, I wasn't even aware of it as a party trick, goes to show how far out of the loop I am. I think they might be right though. Perhaps all parties now are one-legged. I haven’t been to one in years, so they could be. The mammy, that's mine and not yours, couldn't stand on one leg for love or ready money, and we all know what happened to her. She was beastly dead at the youthful age of 83, in a nutshell.

‘Men’s Health’, goes the whole hog, the full shebang, the works, so to speak, but is remiss in leaving out a photo of the actual act of flamingo-ing. I would guess an editorial choice would have been made, relative to their demographic or whatnot.

To tell you the truth, I didn’t bother to look at the video, it’s called: “Superhero Shred: 7 Unilateral Moves for Superhero Muscles” I know, barf-erama. I would rather chew glass. I am sure there is a flamingo in there somewhere, but the act of finding it might induce self-harm, and there’s only a certain amount of energy I am willing to put into this research. The other pix are of semi-naked muscled men, balancing on their (rubber and oversized) balls, and whatnot (repeat), the accompanying ‘Lateral Lunges’ and the like. They all look about 22 years old, and if they can’t still stand on one foot at that age then, perhaps, they should be bloody well conscripted to bootcamp or wherever.

“Brace your core”. Give me a break!

Anyway, just saying that Lucinda needs to add this to her list, this standing on one leg, and I am sure Eden would agree (hello Eden).

Never try to stand on one foot, on a bench, or any raised surface, after imbibing more that 1.4 beverages of the alcoholic persuasion a day, or 10 a week. Just get it all right, meaning do it correctly, and we might all be heading towards immortality in a twinkle. So many choices, so little time, as they say.

Photo 4: China (stolen).

Jay sent me a pic of about a billion Chinese art students, jauntily holding their colour-laden, Fine Art, painter’s palettes as they were being collectively visited by their amassed muses. Blimey, China looks great, with all that art, rampant but controlled, enthusiasm! I love those matching palettes! I wonder if they're painting flamingos.

Our electricity bill went from 160 to 460 Euros, per month. I wonder does one-leg-balancing keep you warmer too.

I suspect it might, seeing that according to all the papers, respectable and not so, it seems to be that elixir we have all being on the hunt for, forever.

Who would have guessed that alchemy was such a doddle after all? Pass me my alembic, would ye? I am in mortal fear of over-balancing here.

It's so strange, now that they have banned smoking in restaurants, and I haven't been in one for at least five years. It's like waiting for a bus for 30 minutes, and three arriving together. Murphy's law, and all that palaver as they doubly say. I am off to see what sport’s kit is recommended (to buy) relative to this 'flamingo' craze.

Photo 5 (Creative Commons License): A generic pink flamingo, on one leg, as is its wont.

Something pooftah (I do believe I can call myself that, whilst realising I cannot call anyone else the same) pink, perhaps, would suit me, and maybe some limited edition Yeezy© shoes, before Adidas bins them all..

"Beastly dead at the youthful age of 83, in a nutshell". It was walnut (with brass handles) if I remember rightly.

I could go on, and I will, however you might have to wait for the unexpurgated, posthumous, memoirs (9 volumes). These should be available to pre-order on Amazon soon-ish, following on from the predicted success of Harry's, soon to be published, 'Spare', which he might just be able to sneak out before the nuclear meltdown, if we are all very lucky-ish.

I wonder could I kiss my own ass goodbye whilst standing on one leg, in my designer gear. I bet a flamingo could. There's a challenge. (Photo to follow)

By the way, walnuts are, yet another, super food. Just saying.

Cranes, another species which is often depicted standing on one leg, are a symbol of longevity in Chinese mythology.

State Trooper Will Brindza conducts field sobriety tests on a motorist - and arrests her after she fails.

Goole is the furthest inland port in Britain.

The port is capable of handling nearly 3 million tonnes of cargo per annum, making it one of the most important ports on the east coast of England.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goole

The Yorkshire Waterways Museum

An independent Museum that celebrates Yorkshire's waterways heritage.

www.waterwaysmuseum.org.uk

This is the home of the Tugs and Tom Pudding trains which transported coal from South and West Yorkshire for transfer into larger ships using the boat hoists. These boat hoists are now industrial icons.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Pudding

Sobriety

A Humber Keel, Sheffield size.

The museums most prestigious boat.

It has a beautiful, modern interior for day or residential trips with accommodation for up to 12 passengers.

Ideal for youth groups, schools, elderly groups, corporate and leisure use and is perfect for holidays, celebrations and/or day trips.

Sobriety can venture to pretty Sprotborough in a day or Leeds, York, Doncaster and Hull for a longer holiday or a weekend escape.

We're back at the Monaco Ballroom on Friday December 12th for the final show of 2008!! Make sure you make it to see how the year's feuds end at this season ending super show - GPW: "Christmas Crunch"

We promise we wont crunch your credit.... we'll only crunch your Christmas!!

GPW Heavyweight Title Match

Bubblegum © vs. Dirk Feelgood

Just a few months ago you'd be forgiven for taking a double take at this match. The friendship between the two former friends totally imploded with the desire to become Heavyweight champion. Refusing to accept the demise of his friendship with Dirk Feelgood, Bubblegum spent months in turmoil not wanting to retaliate to the cutting comments and brutal attacks levelled his way by former friend and champion Feelgood. As time went by however, Bubblegum eventually unloaded on Feelgood but this will be the first time the two have ever come face to face in a one on one match. And to make things just a little more interesting... it's for the GPW Heavyweight Title. Can the fairytale championship reign continue for Bubblegum, or can Dirk shatter his dreams and become the first ever 2 time Heavyweight Champ?

Tag Team Special, Skeletor vs. Stella

Lethal Dose vs. Voodoo & "Sober" Mike Holmes

Alan Alan Alan Tasker's henchmen, Lethal Dose march into battle against former stable member Mike Holmes and the man they hold responsible for Holmes' new found sobriety - Voodoo. Cyanide and Toxic hope to tempt Holmes back over to the stable that two months ago he turned his back on. They want to snap him out of the spell they accuse Voodoo of putting him under. However, Holmes seems very happy with his new outlook on life and he and Voodoo look to send Lethal Dose packing in this tag team special. Lethal Dose have warned they will not be coming to the ring alone though, with them along with their attorney and law - Alan Alan Alan Tasker will be a 12 pack of Stella. Hoping the case of beer will prove to be a bigger demon to Holmes than the tag team itself. To fend off the 12 pack, Holmes and Voodoo will have Vooodoo's trusty skull, Skeletor in their corner. An unpredictable tag team match. Can MIke Holmes stay sober? Will Voodoo's spells work? Or will Lethal Dose deliver a beating big enough to break Voodoo's spell?

GPW British Title Match

Jak Dominotrescu vs. "Super" Sam Bailey

After pinning the British Champion last month in a tag team match, WKD's "Super" Sam Bailey has earned himself a title shot at GPW: "Christmas Crunch". Bailey, already a former tag team champion looks to add to his growing reputation by capturing his first ever singles gold in GPW. While reigning champion, Romanian Jak Domitrescu along with his cohorts - The Eastern Bloc look to make life as difficult as possible for the energetic live wire. Domitrescu has held onto the title since April this year with help from his fellow countrymen, but are his days numbered as champ? He surely wont be alone in this title outing and will have the Eastern Bloc close by, but can "Super" Sam Bailey overcome the odds to win his first singles gold in GPW?

And, the main event for the evening is...

GPW Tag Team Title 2/3 Falls Match

MIl-Anfield Connection © vs. Young Offenders

The heat just got turned up in this feud. The re-united Young Offenders have the most established tag team in GPW - The Mil-Anfield Connection firmly in their sights and not to mention the tag team trophy. These two teams met in September this year where there was no clear winner decided after the match ended in a draw. There will be NO excuses this time to not find a winner. This, for the first time in our history will be a 2/3 Falls Match for the tag team titles. A winner HAS to be decided, but who will it be? A truley epic encounter is in our midst as Jiggy Walker & "The Model" Danny Hope try to cling onto the championship that has defined them as a team and "Dangerous" Damon Leigh & Joey Hayes, The Young Offenders chase the title that one of the most popular tag teams in Europe have never held. Can the re-united friends overcome the well established unit that is The Mil-Anfield Connection? Or can the well oiled duo of the Mil-Anfield do what they've been doing all year and win again?

GPW British Title No.1 Contenders Match

Harry Doogle vs. Juice vs. Dylan Roberts vs. Chris Echo

After an eye catchingly good year from rookie Dylan Roberts, he has been included in this battle to earn a shot at the British Title. With a burning desire to win and the fans firmly behind him, Roberts could well mark his arrival onto the main roster by becoming the No.1 Contender and going for gold here. However, his opponents wont give him an easy ride. In a wonderful CC-08 tournament, no one impressed more than WKD's Chris Echo. Echo reached the CC-08 finals with two broken wrists and proved he is ready to take a step up. His previous attempts for British gold have been thwarted by the foreign legion numbers of the Eastern Bloc, is he ready to prove again that he is worthy of being No.1 Contender and finally lift the British title? Juice, the current CC8 champion has been as impressive as ever in singles competition this year, but can he compete in this match with 3 others all vying to be No.1 Contender? Also replacing Jervis Cottonbelly due to injury is Harry Doogle as a last minute entry could one half of the next gen score the upset win? , but with so many possible outcomes who will leave with the plaudits and go on to challenge for the British Title next year?

Lumberjack Match

Si Valour vs. Heresy

A violent and personal feud that has lasted all year long finally comes to a head in what promises to be a violent Lumberjack Match. Ever since brutalising Valour and cutting off all his hair, Heresy has, in some form or other dodged the challenge of Valour. Heresy claimed not to have lost his bottle or be running scared of the 2007 Break Out Star, yet during their Bull Rope clash at GPW: "V" where the two were tied to one another, Heresy still managed to find a way of escaping and creating distance between him and Valour. This time, in a special Lumberjack Match, no matter where either man go - there will be no escape. All lumberjacks will be at the ready to ensure neither man can escape the others clutches and a clear winner, one way or the other will HAVE to be decided. There will be nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide, no matter where they look. Heresy has been one step ahead of Valour all year, is this where he runs out of excuses, or can the master manipulator manipulate another win?

Veronica Monet Lectures on Prostitution and Sobriety at the Walden Recovery House