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The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face.
William M. Thackeray
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Copyrighted © Wendy Dobing All Rights Reserved
Do not download without my permission.
First of all i'm sorry for exposing you to this....
crustydolphin has set up a group called Half Nekkid Thursday which is pretty self explanatory.
I'm quite self conscious of my body and i never thought that i would expose any of it for 365, so this is the best that your gonna get.
Oh and this means that CrustyDolphin has to do Fancy Dress Friday now (at least once)
D200, Sigma 30mm, LED head torch, not my usual style, but i like the feel of this shot.
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Copyrighted © Wendy Dobing All Rights Reserved
Do not download without my permission.
When he called, I was working on the Office, trying to kick the filing cabinet into place. I wanted it to be a good place, a place he loves. I'm a sucker and a perfectionist.
He asked me to come down to the beach, that little sandbar at the corner of the island and I knew something must be up because He'd obviousy forgotten my rather crippling fear of large bodies of water.
He was just staring at the waves when I got there, just staring. It was all in all a beautiful view. The man I love staring out at an endless black ocean, with the dim glow of a dying fire on his skin.
He saw me shortly after, and had to help me down the incline, because as always, I had on ridiculous shoes.
He showed me an old jewelry box, and for a moment my heart thudded harder. He told me then, that it belonged to his ex. That he'd carried it for six years. And that he was getting rid of it. Severing his last tie to her. A beau geste.
I don't know what made him let go at last. I'm thankful he did. I worry enough about sharing him with his meals and the tarts that just throw themselves at him. I don't need the ghost of an Old, Passionate love between us, when the woman is here and touchable in Midian.
What he did next, I still don't quite believe. A coup de theatre. He pulled out yet another ring, got on his knees and asked me to marry him.
I stood there, stunned to the point of being unable to speak. I had truly believed we'd never reach this point. I have long believed I'm not enough for him, and that our association is due to one drunken night of too much tequila. Friendship and accident that became more. I don't doubt that he loves me, mind. Just... That I'm enough for him.
I said yes. No matter the issues of our relationship, my insecurities, I want him. I want him and I love him and dammit, I'll have him.
We were congratulated by Saki and a man with her... I had no idea that they were watching that whole time, and its probably lucky I didn't. I'd have been too selfconscious to relax.
We went home, and well.. That I'll leave as memory only. I don't need to commit that to paper.
On a much less happy, but related note... Dia died. I miss him. I miss him often, I'd come to rely on him so much. He hated Alric with such a passion, could never let well enough alone that we just.. Drifted apart. I won't deny the girls a father for the sake of an adopted grandfather.
Dia's will was sent to me. He'd put Rose and the twins in as recipients of trust funds. Only if I wasn't Married. To Alric, specifically I think. I stared at the paper and then put it aside. I can provide for my children well enough without his money, though having it would have been nice.
Rest in peace, Dia.
My childhood (and now adulthood) was filled with odd phobias and beliefs. A long forgotten one resurfaced the other day for no apparent reason. It happened as it often does, sort of like a game of word association. One thought triggers another completely unrelated thought, and so on until some obscure recollection from decades ago remerges from the dark closet of repressed memory. In this case it was utter fear of wearing new shoes. Actually not the wearing of them per se, rather the reaction of other people seeing me in them. Probably a tie-in to a related phobia of not wanting to stand out in any way; literally a congenital desire to blend into the background. In my twisted thinking, new shoes would blow my cover and this was the cause of some high anxiety. As a result I would wear shoes well beyond their service life. Mom would threaten to throw away old shoes if I continued to wear them in public. When ‘new shoe’ day inevitably arrived I was a complete wreck. Even the act of purchasing them was awful. I still recall having to sit on a chair while a shoe salesman pressed my foot into one of those medieval looking measuring contraptions. Then out came the shiny new shoes from a box and onto my feet they went. Never liked the feel of new shoes, the stiffness and the awkwardness they caused me in walking (there was already enough of that as it was). That night I would set about trying to age the shoes by scuffing them up. Anything to erase the look of newness and help ease my transition into the next school day. Sad really, imagining some poor kid, holed up in his bedroom trying to distress his brand new shoes. But such is my life.
That’s a long intro for this photo, but still appropriate. I visited a sunflower field near sundown recently. It’s one of those things that most every photographer dreams of and most of us will shoot sooner or later. And I always wonder how I will interpret a scene that has already been shot by a million others before me. As luck would have it, I arrived at just the right time of day, just before sunset with ideal sky and cloud conditions. The resulting photos were languid and immersed in vibrant color. A lovely photo, but it didn’t quite fit my through-line of dreary beauty. But by toning down the color and brightness a bit, I achieved exactly the look and feel I was going for. In many ways, the original photo was like my new school shoes. Just needed a little distressing before I could feel comfortable wearing them.
Social Anxiety is a very REAL condition that can disrupt your life, affect your relationships, daily routines, work, school or other activities. Patience, love, strength, “being there in their corner” and understanding how a person is suffering can go a long way to helping someone you care about to begin to learn to cope, heal and know they are never alone.
Today's shot is a tribute to two of my very good flickr friends, Jordy and Cyndi. A while back, I saw this shot that Cyndi had taken of her daughter (coincidentally also named Ali), and I knew I wanted to try to do a version of it at some point. Then today I was perusing Jordy's stream and discovered this shot and knew that today would be the day!
The thing I love about both Jordy and Cyndi is that they march to the beat of their own drum. They don't simply follow the crowd, but instead forge ahead and make their own path. I love that. There have been many times in my life that I've admittedly been a sheep and simply gone with the flow because it was easier. And because I have always struggled with an insatiable need to be liked. But I like to think that as I've gotten older, I've developed a strong enough backbone to forge ahead as me. Just me. I'm not perfect. Far from it. But I like to think that all of my flaws are really what make me uniquely beautiful. In a way nobody else can be. (Of course, that won't keep me from obsessing over them.)
A few things to note about this shot... I am right-handed. That's why my right hand looks so sloppy. Drawing with my left hand is not easy!! Andy added two items to my right hand, so I'll tag those. Also, these "washable" markers are not really that washable. I mean, I scrubbed the hell out of my hands multiple times and I've still got writing all over them. It's faded slightly, but it's still there. Thank god I never used these markers on my face (which is the reason I originally bought them).
Also!!!! H IS FOR HANDS!!! Finally! I've been stuck in my alpha series. This will get me un-stuck. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
365 Days (self portraits): Day 112
I’m not sure. I feel like just walking down that crowded hallway every single day gets to me. I cringe at every single glance, every single voice. I wish I could just disappear, and not be noticed.
I’m so sick of this.
Sorry for another shoulder picture. I like this sooo much better than yesterday's though.
Created for: www.flickr.com/groups/1image2esprits/discuss/721576243138...
More thanks to Mathilde Le Lapin for her fantastic Self portrait.She has such beautiful classical features,I couldn't help myself to do a second edit...
However quick I was doing the first one,this one took me 4 hours before I thought it looked OK.
Texture kind thanks to: www.flickr.com/photos/67218381@N00/4185266318/in/set-7215...
I really like this shot and particularly his expression. He was self-conscious ,yet didn't make a fuss.
Ayase is sensitive about her waistline. (Not that she has reason to worry.)
- - - - -
Created for the #FlickrFriday theme, #Self.
Dreamtime in a pure new world where everything is to be left untouched / Moment de rêve dans un monde vierge où tout doit rester intact.
I met these 2 kids yesterday, just a quick shot. The glance of the girl struck me, she is so aware of herself being photographed. It made me think about the amount of self-consciousness of a child
*Note- I hate pictures like this, but I'm in need to vent.
10 years ago I was so unsure with what that was going on. With my parents, my friends, and even more, myself. I was so unsure with what I was going to be, and who I would turn to for my happiness.
These past few weeks have been crucial. I have made myself physically sick from all these thoughts. I can't express how I feel anymore other than through pictures. I have those who are close to me, and who would do absolutely anything for me.
But then, being alone seems much more efficient. I can't fight it enough. I can't tell the ones I love most.
As requested, a selective enlargement of this photo I posted 8 years ago. It was the first posed photo I took of Marie soon after we met, taken on a winter day by the lake at Chipstead, shortly after the first one in this set. I said it would be nice to take a photo of her in the misty setting but she didn't feel it would look right wearing jeans and my old jumper. She said she had just been shopping and bought a new dress and shoes for a party and she ran back to the car and quickly changed for the photo.
She was quite selfconscious about having her photo taken in a planned way – the few previous shots I had taken had been just snaps in spontaneous moments, and they hadn't been printed yet so she did not know how they were going to turn out. I thought she looked amazingly glamorous and sophisticated (especially compared with me) – and the serious look was quite fashionable at the time. I was surprised and very impressed, when we returned to the car, to find that she had left off her underwear to avoid spoiling the smooth lines of the dress.
Interestingly, the sophisticated look of the time (we were probably listening to Leonard Cohen on the radio) now looks quite dated – she was only 18 or 19 but appears quite mature – she looked much younger in the more relaxed style of our photos taken over the next years – e.g. in this one six months later...
See the next photo in the "Marie" album >>>
View 2 previous comments... (then ⤴ )
Self–con·scious ( \-ˈkän(t)-shəs\) ;adj.
Uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.
(#207 in explore)
be unruly even if under good emperors
music:
youtu.be/TmDkzVvherk?si=eC1eY3LbPaqYqHOZ
Portishead - Only You
youtu.be/wyUSfuL9dxY?si=CxSvJx7W6LzY1Z4r
Forest Swords - Panic (Official Video)
.
youtu.be/YD-yg0bpF7A?si=YQOlgrzeDuKMeN4F
Twilight of American Democracy: Mapping A Democratic Breakdown in the USA, with Bernard E. Harcourt
youtu.be/i6TaQD_4pfY?si=rmjTgFU7NoTOlbzA
Hegel and the Heritage Foundation: Family Resemblance and New Beginnings [Full Intro to Hegel 13/13]
Hegelian self-consciousness through the master-slave dialectic
Hegelian self-consciousness is the state where a being recognizes itself as a distinct, independent entity through its interaction with and acknowledgment by another self-conscious being. It is a dynamic process of self-reflection mediated by the "other" (another person or an object). For Hegel, a purely isolated consciousness cannot achieve true self-consciousness; recognition from another is necessary for one's existence to be affirmed, leading to the development of a unified, self-aware self.
Hegel's Master-Slave dialectic describes how self-consciousness develops through a life-or-death struggle for recognition between two individuals, leading to a reversal where the slave, through labor and engagement with the world, achieves a more profound and independent sense of self than the master, who remains dependent and dependent on the servant for sustenance and affirmation.
youtu.be/Da6cbuAfnbA?si=cDtz3SFrBZri_s4f
I, CLAUDIUS - 'Lost your stutter, too, I see' ( + ̂ )
youtu.be/bKz-HtOPvjE?si=3RoK3jCCflelHB_r
Hegel: the master-servant dialectic
youtu.be/9Dqyq-UjoVA?si=shtyiOKOfR3gCcxr
Hegel: Philosophy of world history and spirit
How do freedom, reason, passion, the state, and ethical life fit into the world-historical process?
youtu.be/EpFFyQ7rv8Q?si=VjFoh2I-oq5HQgmr
Mary Beard and Why America Isn’t Rome (And Why That Matters) | The David Frum Show
youtu.be/5i5mDO6ai_c?si=9He2nMD7lhDsyP_f
Rulers and Power | Mary Beard and David Mitchell
self-consciousness
unruly
I hope Americans never get to have a good emperor
forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit
perhaps even these things will be good to remember one day
Vincit qui se vincit
Felicior Augusto, melior Traiano
what have the romans ever done for us?
they believed in the republic... that's why they were killed
youtu.be/FeCTilEwRmY?si=oAHndul3fLoE3P-8
Claudius gets some valuable advice.
.
.
photo:
Portrait of Trajan
Venice, National Archaeological Museum
Inv. N. 5
Marble, 57 cm
Roman Imperial period
legate of Domenico Grimani, 1523
www.meravigliedivenezia.it/en/virtual-objects/MAN_128.html
National Archaeological Museum of Venice
Ritratto di Traiano
Venezia, Museo Archeologico Nazionale
Inv. N. 5
Marmo, h cm 57
Epoca romana imperiale
Legato di Domenico Grimani, 1523
www.meravigliedivenezia.it/it/oggetti-virtuali/MAN_128.html
Museo Archeologico Nazionale di Venezia
Do we need a master to self-actualize?
No, you do not need a "master" to self-actualize; it is an individual journey to realize one's full potential, and a master can be an unnecessary intermediary. Maslow's theory views self-actualization as an innate desire to become the best version of oneself, a process achievable by anyone through personal growth, self-acceptance, and engaging in fulfilling work that aligns with their aptitudes.
Understanding Self-Actualization
An inherent need: Self-actualization is a fundamental drive to fulfill one's potential.
An individual journey: The path to self-actualization is unique for each person and is not defined by external success, fame, or status.
A process, not an endpoint: It's a continuous journey of personal growth, not a final state of perfection.
What is Required for Self-Actualization?
Instead of a master, the focus should be on personal development:
Self-awareness and acceptance: Understanding and accepting yourself is a crucial first step.
Personal growth: This involves continuous learning, developing skills, and working on relationships.
Fulfillment: Engaging in activities that align with your intrinsic values and aptitudes brings a sense of fulfillment.
Mindfulness and presence: Living in the moment and letting go of self-doubt can foster progress.
Purpose and authenticity: Living a life aligned with your inner truth and purpose is key to self-actualization.
Kansas City Zoo
At the age of 2 years, Milo (a chimpanzee) has entered the age of self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-consciousness. And don’t let that ashamed, pathetic look fool you. That kid is still finding ways to get about anything that he wants.
© All of my photographs are Copyrighted and All Rights Reserved. They may not be used or reproduced in any way without my explicit written permission.
How much would you bet
That if I tried hard enough
I would spontaneously combust?
I wish I could disappear
And run away from all of my fears
I think I'm coming undone
a direct look into our lens can be misleading at times like that, when a photog. is in a search of themes at a new, never visited before, destination; certain absentmindedness was there, and not only due to a semi-selfconscious "automation" of gestures and BL ---
please click here: www.flickr.com/photos/qmusaget/?details=1" to see HOW our streams should be preferably [or at least optionally] viewed ---
no GROUP ICONS, INVITES or AWARDS please (they will be [sadly] deleted) - just comments and critiques ---
- Ani DiFranco, Shameless
Ever since I was about twelve years old, I've suffered from major self image issues. Even when my body is "skinny" for me, I still feel too curvy to be pretty. Of course, the amazing thing about this 365 Day self portrait project is that I've grown more comfortable in my own skin. And I have so many of you to thank for that. Not in any direct way, but really, when you become so immersed into the 365 community, you sort of go along for the ride with other photographers as they conquer their own self image issues. Or you watch enviously as other photographers bare themselves in ways you might cringe at, all with a sort of "yeah, this is me, you got something to say about it?" attitude. So in getting to know all of you, I believe I've made some big strides in conquering my largest insecurity, which is my own body.
It helps to be a part of such a supportive group of photographers who are also tackling the challenge of getting healthy and losing weight. The 52 Fit group has really helped me to stay on track with my resolution to make 2010 the year that I took back my life, lost the weight, created new healthy habits, and became gorgeous in my own eyes again. So thank you to all of you who are involved with 52 Fit.
As I draw closer to the end of my 365, I've been starting to wonder what comes next. Do I immediately dive back in for a year 2? Do I take a break and focus on my wedding? What if I stop shooting a photo every day and somehow lose what I've learned up to this point? What if I commit to another year and fail miserably? These are all questions I don't have the answers to yet. So bear with me while I mull all of this over in the coming weeks.
365 Days (self portraits): Day 345
TOTW: Insecurities
Musically Challenged: Ani DiFranco - Shameless
Hairodynamic: Anonymous Hair
I am so glad to have a " light" bridge camera (Canon PoweShot SX50) with a powerful enough zoom to allow me to take pictures like this one at a distance.
The theme for week 12 of the group 52 weeks of pix 2013 was street photography. I figured when I left on my cruise that I was bound to find some good street photography shot. But it is not easy for me to do. I always feel so selfconscious and I don't want to upset the subjects.
This picture was taken on Sunday afternoon in Road Town, Tortola, British Virgin Islands, one of our port of call on our Caribbean cruise.
* * * *
Je suis très heureuse d'avoir une "bridge" caméra "légère (Canon SX50 PoweShot) avec un zoom assez puissant pour me permettre de prendre des photos comme celle-ci à distance.
Le thème de la 11e semaine du groupe 52 weeks of pix 2013 est la photographie de rue.
Cette photo a été prise dimanche après-midi à Road Town, Tortola, Iles Vierges Britanniques, l'un de nos ports d'escale pendant notre croisière dans les Antilles.
This was taken on a winter day by the lake at Chipstead, shortly after the first one in this set. I said it would be nice to take a photo of her in the misty setting but she didn't feel it would look right wearing jeans and my old jumper. She said she had just been shopping and bought a new dress and shoes for a party and she ran back to the car and quickly changed for the photo.
She was quite selfconscious about having her photo taken in a planned way – the few previous shots I had taken had been just snaps in spontaneous moments, and they hadn't been printed yet so she did not know how they were going to turn out. I think the uncertainty shows in her expression, but I thought she looked amazingly glamorous and sophisticated (especially compared with me) – and the serious look was quite fashionable at the time. After a few more weeks, and seeing the results she was much more relaxed about it. Also, moving into a more "hippy" social group, she became less concerned with sophistication (but still kept her adventurous sense of style).
She was only 18 or 19 here but looked a lot younger in later photos over the next few years, partly because of the changes in fashion and style...
See the next photo in the "Marie" album >>>
View 15+ previous comments... (then ⤴ )
Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things.
Sensitiveness is closely allied to egotism; and excessive sensibility is only another name for morbid self-consciousness. The cure for tender sensibilities is to make more of our objects and less of our selves.
Secret 1:
I really do think I'm overweight. It started five years ago... but I don't want to get into that story. It's a secret I'll never tell.
ok, listen. i know -- another blurry self-portrait. but YOU try holding a little pocket camera with one hand in low light with no flash and get something sharper. yes, someday i'll do the tripod thing... but we went out for sushi tonite, and when i went to the bathroom, i fell in love with these crusty orange walls, so i figured i'd give it a whirl.
and hey, it's a chance to plug firefox, heh heh.
There was a time when you only had to stick your head out of your bedroom window to see interesting stuff. Here, on Friday 21st November 1975, one of only four Bristol FS Lodekkas (not counting open-toppers) in the Bristol Omnibus Co's fleet goes "out round" a parked car and drifts past the front of our house. It was working the 12:45 journey from Hanham on the 380 service. The bus had spent almost its entire life allocated to Swindon, but was now seeing out its final months on the Hanham Local Services, probably for reasons connected with "mileage balancing" ...an interesting feature of the Company's operation. Bringing up the rear is an RE almost certainly belonging to Hanham depot, but unidentifiable in this rather grainy shot.
Taken in the interval between a visit to the dentist and leaving for work. I would be conducting the last Warmley journey on the 87 service and walking four miles home from Lawrence Hill depot. I lived well outside Lawrence Hill's staff catchment area and disliked putting its staff bus driver to the trouble of taking me home. I walked every time I had a late turn. My transfer to Marlborough Street added an extra mile to the walk from 1977 onwards. This went on until I first had the use of a car in 1982. I declined to work from Staple Hill depot ...five minutes' walk from our house... because I feared recognition by local people, or encounters with neighbours. And you'll hear people say that shyness is a form of selfishness. I should, however, declare that I quite enjoyed those brisk, hour-long walks through the empty, fox-frequented streets, and the opportunity they presented for introspective contemplation.