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So this is like a slightly more updated version of this. My concept is similar obviously, but it's more current I guess. The thing is that by next Friday the whole college application thing is over, since they'll all be due, and cooper will also have made a decision about my hometest. So I guess I'm equally scared, but so much more excited to think that I'm finally moving on. So I guess to me this is my own version of new horizons, and leaving behind the past, because after this week the future I've dreamed about will be finally decided. Also if I'm straight up accepted or denied then I'll post the rest of my hometest soon.
With ears back and eyes closed, Rupert prepares himself for a fight with our tonkinese cat Samantha who is out of view on the right. Rupert and Samantha had been sleeping together when Samantha went into attack mode for some reason. After taking this photo, I broke up this confrontation and moved Rupert into another location. 5:30pm, Monday the 25th of March, 2019.
"It seems that fears are all based on these things: illusion and future thinking, with a side order of 'What if.' 'What if that truck turns suddenly into our lane' 'What if I'm all alone at age 80?' What if? What if? What if? Yes, fears must be respected and learned about, but they must not paralyze us, or lure us into a half-life of being afraid all the time. I liked to think of my fears being driven away in a Rolls Royce (for it is true that once you face a fear, it loses all of its stuffing, and will sit quietly in the back seat and do as it's told.) I feel that fears drive us away from our true selves--innocent beings. I used to live in denial of my fears, and try to cover them up with a 'happy face.' I now see that my greatest growth is happening with an acceptance of my fears, of giving them voices and learning new ways to deal with them." - Anonymous
Images that tell a story -
She had seen the missing person posters around the streets last week.
Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life.
Somebody has written this word on the wall in a chamber of Arnstein Castle ruin right beside this black hole in the wall. Neither I was brave enough to put my hand into that completely lightless hole nor was it my workmate who was with me. Scary, indeed. :-)
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Jemand hat dieses Wort direkt neben diesem Loch an die Wand in einer Kammer der Burgruine Arnstein geschrieben. Weder war ich mutig genug, um meine Hand in das komplett lichtlose Loch zu stecken noch war es meine Arbeitskollegin, die mit mir dort war. Angsteinflößend, in der Tat. :-)
If you're one of those people who finds my stream self-indulgent, please stop reading now. Because I'm all revved up for a self-indulgent tangent.
See... I had a lot of prickly, uncomfortable energy yesterday. As I often do. A burr under my saddle. A bee in my bonnet. A fucking thorn in my brain is what it felt like. And like some poor animal afflicted by some irritation it just can't get to... I spent some time kind of running around, kicking up my hooves, lashing my tail, and basically trying to dislodge the metaphorical blood-sucking insect from the back of my neck.
I don't know why, but photography seems to be therapeutic in these situations. If I can create an image that captures how I feel... I dunno. It's weird. It's like... by doing that, I can sort of lasso and tame the feeling itself. And put it under glass and inspect it and dissect it and then just basically shrug and move on.
I think maybe the therapeutic part is in the trying and failing. Lately, every time I get that jittery feeling in my brain, I go outside and try to get these windows to reflect something interesting. I have a really terrible sense of space and direction. So any time I work with mirrors or reflections in general I get all confused (which is why I'm a terrible parker - I can't navigate using mirrors, especially in reverse).
Um... yeah. So... anyway. (These being, of course, two phrases I use when I don't know WTF I want to say.) So... anyway. For some reason, this pic turned out to be the most therapeutic one I managed yesterday. I think it's about fear, and the fear of facing up to things, and the overwhelming desire I sometimes feel to disappear... combined with the fact that I am, always, the curious observer.
The last cinematic shot from my recent build for the Muunilinst collab. I have some more builds ready, but it might still take me a while to take proper photos of them.
Original photograph (not by me ) was exhibited in BIF-IV.....my snap is the reflection on it .....i blv ..the main picture (framed)
is much more wonderful
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one afternoon in our holidays.... massive clouds are building up, sun darkens.... 10min after I took this shot, all hell broke loose. heavy rain and thunderstorm. After one hour sky was clear again....
OBSERVE Collective
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