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Day 88 of the 365 days challenge.
I don't normally wear a do-rag, but this is Scarf/Shark Week, after all. And, since I haven't done the photoblogging thing in a while, here's some whining about my life.
Some of you know the pain of dealing with lighting equipment-- especially softboxes. This particular softbox, in fact, is my arch-nemesis. After wrestling with it for an hour when I first got it, I called My good friend Kelly. "Is there a trick to this? Are you not actually supposed to put the fourth metal thingy into the fourth pocket?" She laughed at me. Nope; you're supposed to get all four metal rods into both the ceramic thing that goes around the bulb, and into the ends of the softbox. It's supposed to be really hard. It's a two-person job. So, at the time, I persuaded a grumpy husband to help me, and it was done in no time.
Sometimes, I am stubborn.
Just when I think I'm adapting to all of this pretty freaking well, something inside me will snap and I'll do something absolutely absurd. Like wrestle with a softbox all by myself for an hour and a half. There's something inside of me which refuses to believe that this HAS to be a two person job. My mom is seriously arthritic, and my daughter is three; if I want a studio, I have to do this myself. There's no way in hell that it's just IMPOSSIBLE for me to accomplish this by myself.
I tried working smarter. Then I tried working harder. Then I tried working harder than that. Did I mention the loft is a heat trap and it's in the 80s today?
My head is bloodied, but unbowed. There's absolutely no way I will accept that I'm somehow handicapped because I don't have someone to split the heavy lifting in life. I won't believe that some things are just two-person jobs-- it just means one person has to work twice as hard, right?
I'm probably an idiot. I'll let you know once the softbox is put together.
OH. Shark fact: the male hammerhead shark bites the female into submission in order to get her to mate.
EDIT: five hours later, the softbox is assembled! Okay, so I took a break to eat lunch/keyword stock photos/watch All My Children. But the important thing is, I AM SMARTER THAN THE SOFTBOX. And stronger. Does anyone have some tape? Because I am RIPPED. *flexes*
Portrait photography by Vincent Kos
For Division Model Management and Wkd Models
Shot by pure daylight at Fotostudio VK
I took this specifically to be set against my "Day 31 Not Sad Eye" photo. I was sad because I had another emotional discussion with my "Anomaly Boy" about my need to boohoo over the stupidest things. After the "discussion" and some emotionally disturbed sleep I woke to more unresolve and thusly more frustration on both his part and mine, cried more, and then went home for some alone time. The alone time was spent trying to figure out why me, as a girl/woman, can't for the life of me help getting teary eyed over stuff. I mean it's not like I can't let go of something and feel better but I just HAVE to cry about it and FEEL FIRST or I'll explode (or implode rather with unexpressed emotional gunk). I just need a god damn minute to cry about shit...and THEN...it's back to REASON and sense.
The naked truth isn't so bad. Especially when the hair is already done.... hmm... that sounds like a new idea for the next photo. "Bad Hair Day" is brewing.
So I think my lovely fiance', who I was playing nurse to over the weekend gave me his cooties :p
Which lead me to not wanting to do much of anything this weekend by cuddle and convalesce on the couch...
#8202835 “Desperate Houswives” actress Eva Longoria waited for a break in traffic before making a dash across the street in North Hollywood, California on November 23, 2011 while chatting on the phone. Eva was wearing sweatpants, a sweater and ugg boots with no make up this afternoon as she left an office building after spending a while inside. It looked like she had a pack of cigarettes hidden in her pants under her shirt?
Fame Pictures, Inc - Santa Monica, CA, USA - +1 (310) 395-0500
So, I talked to a close friend/co-worker of mine the other day about photography. While I haven't seen any of her work, her aura hums of excellence, and I know her stuff is good. She'll post on Flickr eventually, and when she does you guys can all say that I said it first ;) I'm buying a new lens from her soon and I can not wait! Anyway, our conversation was about Photography and Photoshop, how much people rely on it now. She's seen photography change, where all I've ever known is digital. The Texas douche-bag actually pointed it something about me once. The only real thing I miss about him was that he always said he loved my natural beauty. I didn't realize how important that was. Tesha's series about focusing on our natural, true beauty. Two months into my 365-project I'm starting to appreciate all my qualities, and learning to live with a few that I didn't care for too much. So, in today's picture I made sure to include a few things I typically dislike about myself.
♥The birthmark. Yes I'm sure you think it's adorable or adds character. Hopefully you didn't even know I had one, we'll see if my editing was that good. It's pretty annoying when people come up (strangers mind you) and ask, "Hey what happened to your face?" I just stare at them..."uh, nothing, what happened to YOUR face?" silence....
♥Actually being makeup free. I go out more than most without it, but to feel pretty, I usually want it on. To include my hair a mess and unkempt. It's been raining, so I said the heck with it. My eyes are a little puffy today because I made macaroni salad and cried like a little, well you know, because I chopped onions. But crying always brings out the green in my eyes. Weird.
♥And my hands. My sister and I have IDENTICAL hands. I've grown to like them a little more these days, but they used to be my absolute most-disliked characteristic. I just felt like I had short stubby fingers, with terrible nails and werid knuckles. In hindsight, they aren't so bad.
So, here's me. Raw, straight out of the camera, not a single touch up in photoshop. It'll probably be the last. So, enjoy ;)
Oh and I should be finishing up with my project this week. Hurray! Headache is gone AAAAANNNNNDDDDD my remote came today. Ah, happiness.
Explored in the Raw, thanks so much all!!
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Proyecto.
En la foto, Leire Blacksun
Vitoria-Gasteiz, Marzo 2017
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Don't come any closer. I've been hungover all day and I'm ready to inflict pain on anyone who messes with me. Had a great time at the party last night, though. And by great time I mean I just looked at the pictures my friend emailed me and almost broke my stomach laughing so hard.
On an unrelated note, I will never get used to the way I look without makeup. I know that sounds stupid, but it's true. After wearing eyeliner for the past 20+ years, I have officially hit the point where I just think I look weird without it. I actually hate posting shots like this where I have none on. But today I just couldn't be bothered.
365 Days (self portraits): Day 306