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Cita-Citaku Hafal Al-Qur’an Sebelum Wisuda Teknik
Cita-Citaku Hafal Al-Qur’an Sebelum Wisuda Teknik
Target Halafan Al-Qur’an
SURAT KE
NAMA SURAT
HAFAL
TINGKATAN DHOBIT
SELURUH
SEBAGIAN
I
II
III
IV
V
1
Al-Fatihah
√
√
2
Al-Baqoroh
√
√
3
Ali Imron
√
√
4
An-Nisa
√
√
5
Al-Maidah
√
√
6
Al-An’am
√
√
7
Al-A`rof
√
√
8
Al-Anfal
√
√
9
At-Taubah
√
√
10
Yunus
√
√
11
Huud
√
√
12
Yusuf
√
√
13
Ar-Ro’d
√
√
14
Ibrohim
√
√
15
Al-Hijr
√
√
16
An-Nahl
√
√
17
Al-Isro’
√
√
18
Al-Kahfi
√
√
19
Maryam
√
√
20
Thoha
√
√
21
Al-Anbiya
√
√
22
Al-Hajj
√
√
23
Al-Mukminun
√
√
24
An-Nur
√
√
25
Al-Furqon
√
√
26
Asy-Syuaro’
√
√
27
An-Naml
√
√
28
Al-Qosos
√
√
29
Al-Ankabut
√
√
30
Ar-Rum
√
√
31
Luqman
√
√
32
As-Sajdah
√
√
33
Al-Ahzab
√
√
34
Saba’
√
√
35
Fatir
√
√
36
Yasin
√
√
37
Ash-Shoffat
√
√
38
Shood
√
√
39
Az-Zumar
√
√
40
Al-Ghofir
√
√
41
Al-Fussilat
√
√
42
Asy-Syuuro
√
√
43
Az-Zukhruf
√
√
44
Ad-Dukhon
√
√
45
Al-Jatsiyah
√
√
46
Al-Ahqof
√
√
47
Muhammad
√
√
48
Al-Fath
√
√
49
Al-Hujurot
√
√
50
Qoof
√
√
51
Adz-Dzariat
√
√
52
Ath-Thur
√
√
53
An-Najm
√
√
54
Al-Qomar
√
√
55
Ar-Rohman
√
√
56
Al-Waqi’ah
√
√
57
Al-Hadid
√
√
58
Al-Mujadilah
√
√
59
Al-Hasyr
√
√
60
Al-Mumtahanah
√
√
61
Ash-Shof
√
√
62
Al-Jumuah
√
√
63
Al-Munafiqun
√
√
64
At-Taghobun
√
√
65
Ath-Tholaq
√
√
66
At-Tahrim
√
√
67
Al-Mulk
√
√
68
Al-Qolam
√
√
69
Al-Haqqoh
√
√
70
Al-Ma’arij
√
√
71
Nuh
√
√
72
Al-Jin
√
√
73
Al-Muzammil
√
√
74
Al-Muddatstsir
√
√
75
Al-Qiyamah
√
√
76
Al-Insan
√
√
77
Al-Mursalat
√
√
78
An-Naba’
√
√
79
An-Naziat
√
√
80
Abasa
√
√
81
At-Takwir
√
√
82
Al-Infithor
√
√
83
Al-Muthoffifin
√
√
84
Al-Insyiqoq
√
√
85
Al-Buruj
√
√
86
Ath-Thoriq
√
√
87
Al-‘Ala
√
√
88
Al-Ghosyiyah
√
√
89
Al-Fajr
√
√
90
Al-Balad
√
√
91
Asy-Syam
√
√
92
Al-Lail
√
√
93
Adh-Dhuha
√
√
94
Al-Insyiroh
√
√
95
At-Tin
√
√
96
Al-Alaq
√
√
97
Al-Qodar
√
√
98
Al-Bayyinah
√
√
99
Az-Zalzalah
√
√
100
Al-Adiyat
√
√
101
Al-Qoriah
√
√
102
At-Takastur
√
√
103
Al-‘Asr
√
√
104
Al-Humazah
√
√
105
Al-Fil
√
√
106
Al-Quroisy
√
√
107
Al-Maun
√
√
108
Al-Kautsar
√
√
109
Al-Kafirun
√
√
110
An-Nashr
√
√
111
Al-Lahab
√
√
112
Al-Ikhlas
√
√
113
Al-Falaq
√
√
114
An-Naas
√
√
Inilah program cita-citanya yang harus dia selesaikan sebelum wisuda. Dia bertekad sebelum wisuda, hafalan Al-Qur’annya selesai dan Hadits Arbain karya An-Nawawi. Sebagai buktinya, dia membuat tabel Target Hafalan Al-Qur’an. Terkesima kita melihatnya. Namun, masih ada di dalam hatinya rasa pesimishingga ia berbisik, “Namun, hal ini sepertinya mustahil. Aku tidak mungkin bisa menyelesaikannya. Mata kuliyah teknik amat sulit dan sukar, belum lagi tugas yang melimpah-ruah, asistensi, dan target IP cumloude untuk lanjut studi S2 di Saudi. Ditambah lagi, aku telah terserang MERIANG* dan PILEK** sehingga ingin segera merajut tali pernikahan.”
[*MERINDUKAN KASIH SAYANG]
[**PENYAKIT INGIN LEKAS KAWIN]
Si dia di sini barangkali adalah kenalan kita, teman kita, atau bahkan kita sendiri. Di tahun-tahun terakhir ini tidak dipungkiri lagi semarak kajian Sunnah di mana-mana sehingga nuansa semangat mempelajari agama semerbak di kampus-kampus, terutama kampus teknik. Nah, melalui tulisan ini, saya hendak memberi sedikit motivasi kepada si dia agar tetap optimis menatap masa depan yang masih rahasia Ilahi.
Pembaca Budiman, mari kita mendengarkan perkataan seorang Imam ahli tafsir, ahli hadits, ahli qiro’ah, ahli fiqih, ahli zuhud, dan ahli ibadah, serta ahli arudh pada zamannya, Abu Ja’far Ibnu Jarir ath-Thobari tatkala berkata kepada murid-muridnya.
Beliau berkata, “Apakah kalian bersemangat untuk menulis tafsir Al-Qur’an?”
Muri-murid beliau menjawab, “Berapa jumlah halamannya?”
Beliau menjawab, “30.000 halaman.”
“Wah, umur akan habis sebelum menyelesaikannya,” ujar mereka.
Akhirnya, beliau meringkasnya hanya sekitar 3.000 halaman. Beliau mendiktekan kitab tafsir tersebut selama 7 tahun, dimulai sejak tahun 283 H hingga tahun 290 H. Kemudian, beliau bertanya lagi kepada mereka,
“Apakah kalian bersemangat menulis sejarah dunia sejak Adam hingga zaman kita hari ini?”
“Berapa jumlah halamannya?” tanya mereka. Beliau pun menjawab seperti jawaban pertama dan mereka pun menjawab dengan jawaban yang sama. Maka, beliau bekata,
“Inna lillahi. Sungguh, cita-cita besar itu telah mati!”
Maka, beliau pun meringkasnya seperti yang beliau lakukan terhadap kitab tafsir. Beliau selesai menyusun dan menelitinya kembali dan selesai membacakannya pada hari Rabu, tiga hari menjelang akhir bulan Rabi’ul Akhir tahun 303 H.
Sesungguhnya menghafal Al-Qur’an adalah pekerjaan yang mulia. Adakah perkataan yang lebih mulia daripada Kalam Allah? Sungguh, perumpamaan perkataan Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala dibanding seluruh perkataan yang ada bagaikan Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala dibanding seluruh makhlukNya. Tidaklah seseorang menyibukkan diri dengan Al-Qur’an melainkan Dia akan memberi dengan pemberian yang lebih utama melebihi apa yang Dia berikan kepada orang-orang yang berdzikir dan meminta kepadaNya.
Sesungguhnya Neraka itu darokat (bertingkat ke bawah) dan Surga itu darojat (bertingkat ke atas). Setiap penduduk Surga akan diseru, “Bacalah Al-Qur’an dengan mentartilkan bacaanmu lalu naiklah. Sesungguhnya tempatmu di Surga adalah di akhir ayat yang kamu baca sewaktu di dunia!” Atau yang semakna dengan itu. Lantas, Adakah jenis manusia yang bacaannya lebih banyak selain Ahlul Qur’an? Para penghafal Al-Qur’an menghabiskan waktunya untuk menghafalnya, mentadabburi makna ayat-ayatnya, mengamalkannya, lalu memurojaah hafalannya agar tidak hilang. Setiap huruf Al-Qur’an yang mereka baca diganjar dengan satu hasanah dan satu hasanah itu dilipatgandakan menjadi 10 hasanah. Sebab, alif laam miim bukanlah satu huruf. Namun, alif adalah satu huruf, laam adalah satu huruf, dan miim adalah satu haruf. Maka, seseorang yang telah membaca alim laam miim akan mendapatkan 30 hasanah. Barangsiapa datang dengan satu hasanah, maka baginya sepuluh yang semisalnya. Oleh karena itu, Syaikhul Islam Ibnu Taimiyyah menyesal tidak memperbanyak waktu untuk menyelami makna-makna Al-Qur’an, yaitu tatkala beliau berkata, “Sungguh, selama di penjara ini, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala telah membukakan bagiku banyak sekali makna-makna Al-Qur’an dan prinsip-prinsip ilmu yang banyak diinginkan oleh mayoritas ulama. Aku menyesal telah telah menyia-nyiakan kebanyakan waktuku bukan untuk membahas makna-makna Al-Qur’an.”
Barangkai si dia memiliki keyakinan bahwa dia merasa cukup dengan menghadiri kajian-kajian ilmu dengan duduk manis mendengarkan ceramah ustadz ditambah lagi dengan adanya kajian-kajian agama di radio yang bisa didengarkan dengan mudah sehingga lebih memperkuat keyakinannya akan kecukupan mendapatkan ilmu dari keduanya. Memang benar, ini adalah perkara yang tidak bisa dipungkiri kebenarannya tetapi bila mencukupkan diri hanya dengan itu saja, maka jelas ini keliru. Memang, dia paham dan mengerti bahkan miah-miah apa yang disampaikan ustadz. Namun, untuk berdakwah tidaklah cukup dengan pemahaman saja. Sebab, dakwah butuh hujjah-hujjah, atsar-atsar para shohabat dan tabi’in, serta pendapat para imam yang harus dia hafalkan dan yang paling penting di antara itu adalah hafalan Al-Qur’an. Dengan itulah, hati mad’u bisa tertawan dan apa yang dia sampaikan dengan hafalannya semakin membuat mad`u yakin, meskipun ini tidaklah mutlak.
Terakhir, saya akhiri risalah ini dengan doa penduduk Surga. Semoga saya, antum, dan Si Fulan itu dikumpulkan di dalam Surga Firdaus yang merupakan pertengahan Surga dan Surga yang paling tinggi. Dari sanalah sumber sungai-sungai Surga, baik sungai air tawar, sungai susu yang tidak pernah berubah rasanya, sungai khomr yang lezat bagi peminumnya, atau sungai madu yang tersaring dan di atas Surga Firdauslah terdapat `Arsy ar-Rohman yang Maha Agung. Serta, semoga kita dinikahkan dengan bidadari bermata jeli yang belum tersentuh sebelumnya oleh jin dan manusia yang kerudungnya lebih indah daripada dunia dan seisinya dan aroma wanginya akan memenuhi dunia bila menoleh kepadanya.
“Doa mereka di dalamnya ialah:subhaanakallahummadan salam penghormatan mereka ialah:salaamDan penutup doa mereka ialah:alhamdulillahirabbil aalamiin.”[1]
Surabaya, Mei 2011
Nor Kandir
Artikel norkandirblog.wordpress.com
[1]QS. Yuunus [10]: 10.
SLANK BIOGRAPHY
SLANK berdiri pada Desember 1983 bermula dari sebuah group band sekolahan yang diberi nama ( CSC ) Cikini Stone Complex, yang terdiri dari anak-anak SMA perguruan Cikini dengan personelnya Bimo setiawan (drum), Boy (gitar), Kiki (gitar), Abi (bass), Uti (vocal) dan Well welly (vocal)
Saat itu membawakan lagu-lagu dari Rolling Stones sebagai ekspresi kesukaan terhadap group idola mereka. Namun band ini tidak dilanjutkan, karena tekad dan keseriusan dalam bermusik Bimo setiawan yang akrab dengan panggilan BiMBiM bersama dengan kedua saudaranya Denny dan Erwan kembali membentuk sebuah band baru dengan nama Red Evil dengan formasi BimBim (drum), Erwan (Vocal), Bongky (gitar), Denny (bass), dan Kiki (gitar) kali ini merekan tampil dengan konsep berbeda dengan sebelumnya, dalam aksinya mereka mulai berani menampilkan lagu-lagu ciptaan sendiri.
Penampilan mereka diatas panggung yang cuex asal-asalan serta urakan, membuat para penonton yang sering menyaksikan penampilan mereka menjulukinya dengan sebutan band SLENGEAN. Sejak saat itulah mereka memutuskan untuk mengubah namanya menjadi SLANK.
Beruntunglah BimBim, karena tekad dan aktifitasnya didunia musik mendapat dukungan yang cukup besar dari kedua orang tuanya dengan ikhlas mereka merelakan sebagian ruang dirumahnya dijln.potlot 14 dijadikan tempat latihan sekaligus markas berkumpulya kelompok SLANK.
Pergantian personil menjadi persoalan yang tidak terelakan dalam perjalanan karier mereka, setelah sekian kali berganti formasi, Baru pada formasi ke tiga belaslah BimBim (drum), Bongky (bass), Pay (gitar), Indra Q (keyboard), dan Kaka (vocal). Akhirnya mereka dijalur musik membuahkan hasil.
Setelah berkali-kali demo mereka ditolak oleh beberapa produser yang meragukan kemampuan mereka, akhirnya salah satu personil mereka Indra Qadarsih berhasil mempertemukan SLANK dengan Budhi Soesatio seorang produser (yang sering memakai jasa Ayahnya Indra yang bekerja sebagai fotografer untuk pembuatan cover kaset yang diproduserinya). Setelah mendengarkan demo yng disodorkan Slank, Budhi punya keyakinan bahwa musik Slank akan banyak disukai, Budhi menilai bahwa warna musik mereka sungguh berbeda dengan musik yang selama ini sudah ada, mereka berani memadukan beberapa unsur musik diantaranya pop,Rock n' Roll,Blues, dan Etnik menjadi suatu bentuk warna musik khas Slank.
Keyakinan Budhi pada group ini akhirnya terbukti,Album pertama SLANK SUIT..SUIT HE..HE..(Gadis Sexy) Tahun 1991 yang menampilkan hits lagu berjudul "Memang dan Maafkan" ....meledak dipasaran selain merupakan the best seller , keberhasilan ini membuat Slank dianugrahi sebuah penghargaan dalam ajang bergengsi Musik Indonesia BASF Award pada tahun 1991 sebagai pendatang Baru terbaik.
Sejak saat itulah SLANK mulai dikenal dan dicintai penggemarnya yang tersebar diseluruh Nusantara .
walaupun pada kenyataan setelah menyelesaikan Albumnya yang ke lima SLANK harus kehilangan sekaligus tiga personilnya Bongky, Indra dan Pay (yang kini juga sukses dengan group barunya BIP)
Hingga akhirnya pada tahun 1996 SLANK kembali membentuk formasi baru yang merupakan formasi SLANK ke empat belas dengan formasi BimBim (drum), Kaka (vocal), Ivanka (bass), Ridho (gitar), Abdhi (gitar)
Apa yang disodorkan SLANK sejak awal ternyata telah mengenai pangsa pasar yang selama ini merasa tidak terwakili oleh group-group musik sebelumnya, ini terlihat dari kefanatikan para penggemarnya yang dijuluki SLANKERS.
Penampilan dan warna musik ternyata bukan satu-satunya alasan mengapa mereka terpikat pada SLANK. mereka juga menganggap bahwa isi dan makna yang terkandung dalam lirik-lirik lagu Slank merupakan Ekspresi dan simbol keberanian dan kebebasan dari sebuah generasi anak muda yang tidak pengecut untuk bicara dan tampil seadanya terhadap nilai kemapanan yang selama ini membatasi ruang gerak mereka, kalaupun ada yang mengatakan dan menganggap ini sebagai suatu symbol pemberontakan......Tapi yang jelas ini adalah pemberontakan yang dilakukan tanpa kekerasan......karna pada kenyatanya SLANK sendiri adalah GROUP CINTA DAMAI....dan pada kenyataanya SLANK tidak saja berhasil merebut hati penggemar,tapi Slank juga telah berhasil membangkitkan semangat dan solidaritas dari sebuah generasi untuk punya sikap.
_____________ PEACE________________
" Ridho Allah hanya didapatkan oleh orang-orang yang tulus, yaitu orang-orang yang beribadah dengan ikhlas tanpa mengharapkan imbalan apapun "
Raudat Tahera (Arabic: روضة طاهرة Rawḍatu Ṭāḥiratu) is the mausoleum of Syedna Taher Saifuddin and his son & successor Dr. Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin, the 51st and 52nd Da'i al-Mutlaqs of the Dawoodi Bohra Ismaili Muslims.[1]
Syedna Taher Saifuddin RA led the Dawoodi Bohra community from 27 January 1915 to his death on 12 November 1965. He was succeeded by his son, Dr. Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin RA, who led the community from 12 November 1965 to his death, 17 January 2014.[2]
Contents [hide]
1Geography
2History
3Exterior features
4Interior features
5References
Geography[edit]
The white-marble Fatemi shrine is located in the midst of Bhendi Bazaar, a crowded area in central Mumbai.[3] It was constructed by Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin RA, and its architect was Yahya Merchant, who has also designed the Mazar-e-Quaid in Karachi, Pakistan.
History[edit]
Construction on Rawdat Tahera began on 10 December 1968, which coincided with the date of 21 Ramadan 1388 of the Fatimid Calendar, the death anniversary of Ali, and was inaugurated on 19 April 1975 by the Indian president Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed coinciding with the birthday celebrations of the 21st Fatimid Imam, aṭ-Ṭayyib Abī l-Qāṣim ibn al-Manṣūr, on 4 Rabi' al-thani 1395.[4]
Exterior features[edit]
The marble used in the mausoleum was quarried from the Chosira and Ulodi quarries of the Makrana quarries in Rajasthan, India, from where marble for Taj Mahal was quarried.
The mausoleum rests on 92 piles. The number 92 is significant in that it represents the Arabic isopsephical value of the name of Muhammad.
The complete structure weighs 5000 tons.
The mausoleum rises to a height of 108 feet (33 m), which is the Arabic isopsephical value of the word Ḥaqq.
The dome is 52 feet (16 m) high as its crowning feature.
A 12 feet (3.7 m) high gold finial stands sentinel over the dome.
There are four smaller domes, one at each corner of the central dome, each with a gold finial to match its larger prototype, and perfect the setting against the azure sky. The dome and cornice are inspirations from the Juyushi Mosque, Cairo.
The four walls of the mausoleum have a 4 feet (1.2 m) and 6 inches (15 cm) thick masonry wall, with 3 inches (7.6 cm) cladding on both sides, making its final thickness of 5 feet (1.5 m), which reflects the members of Ahl al-Bayt.
The outer walls are decorated with the names of the Ahl al-Bayt and the Fatimid Imams as well as the Duʿāt Mutlaqīn in the Kufic script.
The four entrance doors to the shrine have been specially designed to match the entrance gate of Aqmar Mosque in Cairo built by Imam-Caliph Manṣūr al-Āmir bi'Aḥkāmi l-Lāhi. The entrances are adorned with four silver doors of Fatimid style and lead to the sanctum sanctorum of the tomb. There are five arches above each of these four doors.
The entrance facing west is called Raudat Tahera
The entrance facing east is called Bab-e Hakimi, so named after his ancestor, Syedi Abdul Qadir Hakimuddin, whose mausoleum is in Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh.
The entrance facing south is called Bab-e Zaini, so named after the 45th Da'i al-Mutlaq, Syedna Tayyab Zainuddin RA, his great-grandfather, whose tomb is in Surat.
The entrance facing north is called Bab-e Fakhri, so named after his ancestor, Syedi Fakhruddin Shaheed, whose mausoleum is in Galiyakot, Rajasthan.
Interior features[edit]
Crystal chandelier and inscription of the entire Quran
The inner height of the mausoleum is 80 feet (24 m) above the plinth, the age of the Syedna (AQ). Similarly there are 80 corniches all around the mausoleum.
The inner dimensions of the tomb are 51 x 51 feet (16 m), symbolizing that he was the 51st representative and Vicegerent of the Fatimid Imams.
In the center of the tomb is the grave of Syedna Taher Saifuddin, whose measurement is 28 square feet (2.6 m2). The number 28 indicates the young age at which he became the Dai al-Mutlaq.
Adjacent towards the right hand side of Syedna Taher Saifuddin's grave is, Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin's grave of equal measurement.
What gives the tomb a unique place of honour amongst all the monuments in the world, is the inscription of the entire Quran within its four walls. Upon the instructions of Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin, the 772 page golden handwritten Quran from which Syedna Taher Saifuddin used to recite daily, was photocopied and transcribed onto an equal number, that is 772 marble slabs of 3x2 feet each and pasted in the inner walls of the Raudat. As such, the entire Quran is engraved on the inner walls of Raudat Tahera and makes it the only monument in the world to have a complete religious book engraved within its sanctum sanctorum.
The Quran begins from the right hand side of the western wall, continues on the southern wall, followed upon the eastern wall, and ends on left hand side of the northern wall.
On top, the structural shell consists of a dome 40 feet (12 m) in diameter with a height of 52 feet (16 m). The dome is a replica of Al Jamea Al Juyushi, Cairo.
The rosette at the apex of the dome has the same mudawwar design in the interior as that of the masjid Al Juyushi, with the Quranic proclamation "إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُمْسِكُ ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتِ وَٱلْأَرْضَ أَن تَزُولَا ۚ وَلَئِن زَالَتَآ إِنْ أَمْسَكَهُمَا مِنْ أَحَدٍۢ مِّنۢ بَعْدِهِ", (Surah 35 Ayat 41) meaning "Allah holds the sky and earth together which none else can" along its periphery. The names of Mohammed and his successor Ali are embellished in Kufic script in the center.
Though it was not intended originally, but as the laying of the Quranic tablets within the walls continued, it became apparent that all the entrance doors to the tomb got adorned with a Bismillah.
All the 113 Bismillah in the Quran inscribed on the walls are studded with precious gem stones, such as rubies, diamonds, emeralds, corals etc. The Surat Al Fatiha and Surat Al Ikhlas are studded with rubies.
Surah Ya Sin, is the only surah to be encircled in a double lined box and can be found on the left side of the eastern wall.
Below the Quran, on the walls are the stanzas and verses quoted from the 49 Risalah sharifah, hundreds of Qasidas and munajaats written by Syedna Taher Saifuddin which reflect the Barakah of the Quran and the Ilm of Ale Mohammed. They demonstrate his interpretation of the scriptures, and which inspire the visitor, to a higher plane of thinking and nobler way of life, towards which Islam ultimately beckons.
Below the above verses, on the eve of the 100th Birthday Celebrations of Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin in 2011 (1432 Hijri), the 52 Stanza marasiyah of Fulkul Husaine be Karbala "فلك الحسين بكربلاء", was added as an inlay on the walls.
Between the columns on which Quraan is written and the above-mentioned writings, is an embossed marble engraving, which alternates after every two columns. The design of the engraving is the exact copy of the design used on the shield of Zulfiqar by the Fatimid on their monuments in Cairo.
A glittering crystal chandelier, suspended from the center of the dome, sheds its brilliance upon the tomb and seems to cast a divine light upon the hallowed precincts, while the four circular corner fittings and twenty four wall brackets lend their light to the radiance within the Mausoleum. The chandeliers are especially made on order and each pendetive is engraved with the Quranic verse "لا يمسه الا المطهرون" (Surah 56 Ayat 79) meaning "none but the pure shall hold the Holy Quran". It is claimed to be among the largest chandeliers in the world.
References[edit]
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MUNGKIN SAJA Mungkin saja apa yang kita lakukan selama ini percuma. Amalan yang dikira baik tapi malah tercatat buruk oleh malaikat. Entah karena kurang ikhlas atau menjalankannya asal aja. Mungkin saja yang terkumpul hanyalah dosa. Menyelipkan amalan ahsan dengan berbangga. Merendahkan manusia. Baru sadar kalau sombong dan ujub bikin merana. Mungkin saja ilmu kita sebatas coretan pena. Akhlak baik jadi langka, karena sering buat hati manusia terluka. Lupa jika baikhnya aklak adalah salah satu tujuan diutusnya Nabi yang mulia. Lupa pula jika akhlak adalah sebab yang paling banyak memasukkan manusia ke dalam surga selain taqwa. Heran, kenapa masih saja berleha-leha?! Mungkin kita selama ini mengira bahwa kabar iman baik-baik saja, tapi nyatanya ia hitam legam tak mampu menyerap cahaya. Ghurur, tertipu oleh diri kita. Mungkin saja kita lebih senang dengan penilaian orang daripada penilaian Allah, Rabbul a'la. Padahal pengetahuan-Nya meliputi segala hal, janji-Nya lebih kekal dan lebih indah. Diakui, kita memang makhluk yang sering lupa. Alhamdulillah nafas masih tersisa. Segera berubah, kita harus menang! Jangan lupa untuk senantiasa berdoa dan bertawakal sebab rintangan di depan siap menghadang. Allahul musta'an #Rehat Di kamar bersama dratf TA, 19 Jumadil Akhirah 1437 #renungan #self #reminder #coretan #nasehat #diri #ikhlas #tauhid #quote #semangat #optimis #senin via Instagram ift.tt/1Rzb9Co
Nama sebenar Imam Syafie ialah Muhammad Bin Idris Bin Abbas Bin Uthman bin Syafie Bin Saib Bin Abdu Yazid Bin Hasyim Bin Abdul Mutalib Bin Abdul Manaf.
Imam Syafie adalah berasal dari keturunan arab Quraisy. Nasabnya berkait dengan Nabi Muhammad saw.
Beliau dilahirkan di Kota Gaza Palestin pada bulan Rejab 150 Hijrah. Ada yang mengatakan pada malam beliau dilahirkan itu Imam Abu Hanifah (Imam Hanafi) meninggal dunia
Imam Syafie menghafal Al-Quran sewaktu berumur 9 tahun.Beliau menghafal Kitab al-Muwatta’ yang ditulis oleh Imam Malik (Mazhab Maliki) selama 10 tahun. Beliau mempunyai kecerdikan dan daya ingatan yang sangat luar biasa.Dibenarkan memberikan fatwa sendiri oleh gurunya sewaktu berusia 15 tahun sewaktu mengajar di Masjidil Haram.
Beliau kemudian berhijrah ke Iraq dan mengembangkan mazhabnya di sana, sebelum berhijrah ke Mesir dan wafat di Mesir.
10 PESANAN IMAM SYAFIE:
1. Hak kepada diri, iaitu dengan mengurangkan tidur, mengurangkan makan, mengurangkan percakapan dan berpada-pada dengan rezeki yang ada.
2. Hak kepada Malaikat maut, iaitu menqada’kan segala kewajipan yang tertinggal, iaitu dengan memohon maaf daripada orang yang dizalimi, membuat persiapan untuk mati dan merasa cinta kepada ALLAH s.w.t.
3. Hak kepada kubur iaitu membuang tabiat suka menabur fitnah, jangan suka kencing merata, memperbanyakkan solat tahajjud dan membantu orang yang dizalimi.
4. Hak kepada Malaikat Mungkar dan Nakir, iaitu jangan berkata dusta, sering berkata benar, meninggalkan maksiat dan memberi nasihat.
5. Hak kepada Mizan, iaitu menahan kemarahan, banyakkan berzikir, ikhlas dalam amalan dan sanggup menanggung kesulitan.
6. Hak kepada titian sirat, iaitu buang tabiat suka mengumpat, wara’, bantu orang beriman dan hidup dalam suasana berjamaah.
7. Hak kepada Malaikat Malik, iaitu menangis lantaran takutkan kepada ALLAH s.w.t., membanyakkan sedekah, membuat kebaikan kepada ibubapa dan memperbaiki akhlak.
8. Hak kepada Malaikat Ridwan, penjaga syurga, iaitu redha kepada qada’ ALLAH s.w.t., sabar menerima bala’ dan bertaubat.
9. Hak kepada Rasulullah s.a.w., iaitu dengan sering bersalawat kepada baginda, berpegang kepada sunnahnya dan bersaing mencari kelebihan dalam beribadah.
10. Hak kepada ALLAH, iaitu mengajak manusia kepada kebaikan, mencegah manusia daripada melakukan kemungkaran, bencikan kepada sebarang maksiat dan tidak melakukan kejahatan.
A Village in December
Said Hazrat Sahel Tustari (ra), “Purification is of three types; the purification of ilm, knowledge, lies in the disappearance of ignorance. The purification of zikr, focus upon Allah, comes from the vanishing of forgetfulness. The purification of true obedience comes from abstinence from sin."
I can’t remember the last time I visited Radhan in December. It’s always March and November and nothing else except when there is a death in the family and we head there for the burial in the family graveyard. But this year, the winter had been late. There was no rain to kick-start it and the temperatures were a mild 26 every single day. That was a first for me. Climate change concern aside, it felt amazing. I hate the cold.
The house was all mine. It was warm and quiet and gorgeous. I was acutely aware of my state of happiness that was bordering on elation. That didn’t have just to do with being outside the city. I was also planning a pilgrimage to Iraq with a friend. I had specific things I wanted to do this time, on what would be my second trip. Specifically in Baghdad at Ghaus Pak’s (ra) steps and in Najaf, where lay the Door of the City of Knowledge, the blessed Imam Ali (ratu).
I chose the vegetables I would eat every day that the chef, who had been there for 30 some years, would be cooking to perfection; all flavor, no crazed quantity spices to blunt the taste the way they did in the city. Turnips, carrots, peas, mustard spinach, cauliflower, organic chicken, grass-fed beef, liver, the list went on and on. Then there was the fruit in season which was in full bloom and appeared everywhere; grapefruits, oranges, sugarcane. I had brought Ghaus Pak’s (ra) Al Fath Ar Rabbani and two New Yorkers, my Ipod and a usb to watch something at night.
Shaan was supposed to come but then I decided against it. My friend from Karachi was coming to see me in March and wanted to return to the village for sure. I thought that might be a better time. If there was one extra person, there may as well be two! Plus someone from my staff in Lahore would accompany us and that would make things easier. All three of us had our idiosyncrasies. In numbers would be our strength
and no one would stand out.
I had decided to continue my classes with Qari Sahib per our schedule. We were working only on translating the exegesis of the Quran by Ghaus Pak (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani and I was motivated as hell. I had a list of verses already that I kept adding to every time I heard a lecture by Uzair or Sheikh Nurjan. (flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51683698952/in/dateposted-...)
If I could, the only impediment being that Qari Sahib already had several classes a week, I would work with him on it for hours every single day. By my calculation, it would still take me 10 years to translate the whole tafseer. Still, every verse revealed a jewel that only one with inner eyes could see and only one whose being a fountain of generosity could make others, the ordinary, see.
This piece was the third I was writing in months. I had started two but then each of them became so long, crossing 70 pages, that I couldn’t put them together. I had been adding notes to them as I wrote, thinking I could make it all cohesive later but they became like the jigsaw puzzles that have a thousand pieces. Which I could never assemble even if I had a thousand years. So I abandoned the first, then went to Ormara, wrote there and abandoned it next.
But this time, I was feeling joy, even in my tears, which I noticed only fell from my eyes before or after the dawn prayer. The rest of the prayers through the day could be uttered seriously but I rarely cried. In the village the writing flowed because the happiness made me able to concentrate on words that were other than the Quran. I knew the window was small. I decided to take it. It was not possible to compete with revelation!
سَنُرِيهِمْ ءَايَتِنَا فِى ٱلْءَافَاقِ وَفِىٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُ ٱلْحَقُّ ۗ
Soon We will show them Our Signs in the horizons and in themselves
until becomes clear to them, that it (is) the truth.
Is it not sufficient concerning your Lord, that He (is) over all things a Witness?
Surah Fussilat, Verse 53
Tafseer e Jilani
Then points Allah Subhana Ta’ala towards the One-ness of His Essence and His Appearance according to His Names and Attributes in every day presence and His Creations and all that His One-ness encompasses within those Creations and which includes all of it, so that they all become a clear proof upon the Truthfulness of His Book and that it came forth from Him, so He said:
Sa nurihim: “Soon, We will show them i.e. the Majboleen, those that have been formed upon the Nature of One-ness, the Makhloqeen, the ones created upon the substance of imaan, faith and irfaan, Recognition of Allah, and the Mo’qineen, the ones possessing certainty of clear unveiling and eye-witnessing, (to these three)…
Ayatina: Our Signs i.e. the Clear Proofs of Our One-ness which leads to the One-ness of Our Essence, Apparent…
Fil afaaq: in the horizons i.e. in each speck of the Universe external from their beings, which they discover with their tools and their senses. “Afaaq” is named “specks” because it is through them that the rise of the Sun of the Essence of Allah is evident and that rise is also evident in these specks…
Wa fi anfusihim: (And Our Signs are apparent) in themselves i.e. their selves are the highest evidence of the ma’rifat, the Recognition of Allah, and Wahdat al Haq, the One-ness of His Essence.
For this reason, said Asdaq al Qaileen, the Most Truthful of the ones who speak and the Akmal al Kamileen, the Most Perfect of the perfect ones, the Prophet (peace be upon him);
مَن عَرَفَ نَفسَہُ فَقَد عَرَفَ رَبَۤہُ
“The ones who know their own selves, indeed, know their God.”
And no doubt, We (Allah) will show them what We will show them….
Hatta yattabayyana lahum: until it becomes clear for them and apparent in front of them and unveiled upon them…
Annahu: that indeed it i.e. this matter, which is made completely clear in the horizons and in their selves, is…
Al Haq: Al Haqeeq, Allah, who is The Rightful Possessor of Truth and Al Saboot, The One who is Unchanging in His Disposal of affairs, Alone in His Being. In the same way, the Quran, which is full of miracles, is also the ultimate Truth, and overall encompasses His Appearance and His Attributes.
Poets gave their reaffirmation in their own way:
ہم ایسے اہل نظر کو ثبوت حق کے لیے
اگر رسول نہ ہوتے تو صبح کافی تھی
Those of us seeing through the eyes of the heart, for evidence that there is a God,
if the Prophets had not been, a sunrise would have sufficed!
Josh
Subhan Allah!
I had heard a lecture recently by Uzair in which he had quoted the verse and the poetry above so I had studied it. It had reminded me of something he had said in earlier lectures; Allah describes Himself more often by that which that he is not i.e. using negation (nafi) rather than that which He is (asbaat). Subhan is the word for it in Arabic which describes the former, meaning “pure of all negativity.” Hamd is for the latter, the praise of that which is undeniable and requires no proof.
The Kalima Tauheed (Declaration of One-ness of God), the utterance to enter the fold of Islam, become a Muslim, the one who surrenders, starts with the word “la,” which is negation;
لَآ اِلٰهَ اِلَّا اللّٰهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَّسُوْلُ اللّٰهِؕ
Not is there a god but Allah and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His Messenger.
The Kalima itself is worded differently by various Spiritual Masters, Ghaus Pak (ra) using the world Maujood i.e. present;
لا الہ الا اللہ ای لا موجود الا اللہ
There is no God but Allah means there is no Presence except that of Allah.
I guess that meant negation prevails over assertion. For a moment I thought about science and if it followed the same premise but then I stopped myself. Science follows Man, say the Spiritual Masters, it doesn’t precede us. The idea of negation had made me think about the definition of sabr in Surah Al Asr, a personal favourite, on the four types of patience.
The Surah is extraordinary even before you read the exegesis. It begins with Allah taking an oath upon time. It states that every single person is, without doubt, in a state of loss. Then comes the exception. The only ones who aren’t are the Muqinoon, those who possess inner certainty, which is then defined. Like all of the Quran, the rhythm of the words fall on a beat which makes it easy to memorize and lovely to repeat.
وَٱلْعَصْرِ
إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ
إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّلِحَتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ
(Allah takes an oath) upon time,
that the human being is surely in a state of loss,
except those who believe and do righteous deeds and enjoin (each other) to the truth and enjoin (each other) to [the] patience.
Surah Al-Asr, Verses 1-3
Tafeer e Jilani
Wal Asr: Then Allah Suban Ta’ala takes an oath upon time and the ages, the meaning of which is about the Eternal Essence of Allah, from the beginning till the end, Timeless and Everlasting.
Innal Insaana: Indeed, the human being, created such to have a natural propensity towards the nature of ma’rifa, the Recognition of God and imaan, faith according to his share of the Lahoot, the Realm of the Divine, where there is no time and space…
Lafe khusr: is in a state of loss, immense and humiliating failure, as a result of their busyness in that which is useless due to the requirements (and needs) of his physical being, as related to his share of the world of Nasoot, the life in this world.
Illa: Except the Muqinoon, those who possess inner certainty…
Alladina Aamino: about the One-ness of Allah Subhan Ta’ala and are conscious, through their steadfastness, in their behaviour continuously in His Kingdom and about His Authority.
Wa: And with this faith and certainty…
Amilos Sualihaat: they do good deeds which points towards their ikhas, sincerity and their yaqeen, absolute conviction, and niyyat, intention.
Wa: And in this condition…
Tawasau bil Haq: they enjoin each other towards the Path of God and His One-ness…
Wa tawasau: and they also enjoin each other…
Bis sabr: towards patience for the practice of matters that require obedience and (patience towards) their tiredness from striving hard and (patience towards) from what they suffer as a result of cutting themselves off from their love of the world and (patience towards) leaving their animalistic desires which are attached to human nature.
All the Spiritual Masters had said that the practice of patience in denying oneself of that which one wanted, be it related to the world or the physical self and human desire, was the most noble. Again, negation!
On that first day as I lay in the garden, alternating between taking photos of birds and reading, I discovered another reason Shaan had come into my life. It was to empty my heart of all others. To bring me closer to eradicating the possibilities of shirk, (associating others with God), that persisted regardless of my worship. Those hopes, never ending, those desires I always obeyed!
In the Golden Chain of ahadith, which is when the words of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) are recorded by his family, Maula Ali (ratu) narrates;
قال علي بن أبي طالب رضي الله عنه:
إن أخوف ما أتخوف عليكم اثنتين:
اتباع الهوى، وطول الأمل،
فأما اتباع الهوى فيصد عن الحق، وأما طول الأمل فينسي الآخرة
Maula Ali (ratu) said that the Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said;
“Indeed of what I fear for you, I fear the most two things;
the following of desires and the endless greed for the world.
For the following of desires blocks you from the Truth, and the endless greed makes you forget the Afterlife.”
A line in Al Fath Ar Rabbani echoed exactly why the focus was all in the wrong place, the ego, which had become the false origin of all emotion;
“The happiness of your nafs, the base self, is what makes you happy. It’s sadness is what makes you sad.”
Ever since Shaan had come into my life I was already detaching from everyone else. It was like I didn’t need anyone. I thought about it sometimes when I was in my room alone. Was that it with people? Having a person in one’s life that one cared for, took responsibility for, worrying about their emotional state, was that what made them indifferent to others? (flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51621076407/in/dateposted-...)
Since he was around me I didn't care at all about who I met and who I didn't. I didn't miss anyone. I didn't seek anyone. I even spent time thinking about how I would treat others now that I didn’t need them. I had been pondering over it as if it was going to be a spiritual exercise. But of course it was just a whispering of Iblis to ignite my ego. Its eternal wanna-be goody two shoe-ness sans sincerity.
I only ended up reinserting thoughts of events past and creating nostalgia around those that were and will always willingly absent and eternally betraying. The falsehood of my thoughts was too apparent to ignore. The sadness relating to them reverberating in my heart, created the impression of some warm remembrance, which was really just hurt.
More importantly, a hadith was brought before me that brought a swift end to the pondering of whether I would be kind or cruel. In searching for something I came across something Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) had said about what he was commanded by His Lord, who raised him, nurtured him. He had listed nine things. I had focused on three that had to do with other people:
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: أَمَرَنِي رَبِّي بِتِسْعٍ:
خَشْيَةِ اللَّهِ فِي السِّرِّ وَالْعَلَانِيَةِ
وَكَلِمَةِ الْعَدْلِ فِي الْغَضَبِ وَالرِّضَى
وَالْقَصْدِ فِي الْفَقْرِ وَالْغِنَى
وَأَنْ أَصِلَ مَنْ قَطَعَنِي وَأُعْطِي مَنْ حَرَمَنِي
وَأَعْفُو عَمَّنْ ظَلَمَنِي
وَأَنْ يَكُونَ صَمْتِي فِكْرًا
وَنُطْقِي ذِكْرًا
وَنَظَرِي عِبْرَةً و
آمُرُ بِالْعُرْفِ
The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said; I was ordered by my Lord nine Commands:
To be in fear of God in secrecy and in announcement,
and to speak justly when in anger and in happiness,
and to be moderate in poverty and wealth,
and to connect with the one who disconnects from me and to give to the one who deprives me,
and to forgive the one who is unjust to me,
and for my silence to be for reflection (of Him)
and my utterance to be of remembrance of (Him)
and my seeing to be to seek lessons
and to enjoin others towards goodness.
So that was that! Whether I could do it or not was another matter of course. But that bridge could only be crossed when it appeared. If they appeared that is. It served to remind me of a line I had read in the Tafseer e Jilani that we only see those for whom love has been placed in our hearts. Then I came across a cartoon or rather a sketch in one of my New Yorkers titled Paul and Audrey, that I type below as was, that proved just that magnificently.
Paul Desmond was the alto saxophonist in the Dave Brubeck Quartet from 1951 5o 1967. He wrote “Take Five,” the Group’s biggest hit. He had a lifelong crush on Audrey Hepburn. Though they never met…
The strip was about her performing at the 46th Street Theater starring in “Ondine” in the spring of 1954. The Quartet was playing a few blocks away. Every night, Paul asked Brubeck to call an intermission at the same time. Desmond would duck out of the club and cut across Times Square. He’d stand in an alley to watch Hepburn walk out the stage door and climb in to her limo.
That year Paul wrote a song called “Audrey” which appeared on the Columbia Records Album “Brubeck Time.” Desmond died from lung cancer in 1977. He was single and never knew whether Hepburn had heard the song he wrote for her.
When Hepburn died in 1993, her ex-husband Andrea Dotti called Brubeck to ask if his Quartet would play “Audrey” at a memorial service at the UN Headquarters. This took Brubeck by surprise.
“I had no idea you’d be aware of Audrey…”
“My wife listened to that song every night before she went to bed.”
Sob!
The love was inserted in one’s heart for another. The fruit of that love was mushahida, a witnessing. It felt comforting to me that if people were going to be coming and going out of my life, my seeing them, them seeing me, or not, would at least only be a function of love. There would be ikhlas that I didn’t have to inject, never knowing if it was real (sincerity) or fake. It would either be there or not entirely outside my own existence.
In these warm winter days I read in Al Fath Ar Rabbani that disobedience was a result of being jahil.
“The one who was disobedient was ignorant of his Lord, therefore he became disobedient. Instead he became obedient to Satan and chose agreement with him. If he had not been jahil, ignorant, he would not have become disobedient. If he had become cognizant of his base self, the nafs, aware that it bids him towards what is wrong, he would never have succumbed to it…The nafs, desire, nature, and bad company they are all helpers of Iblis who deludes you.”
What the nafs was infatuated with was the world. The company sought was within the world. And it was all attractive.
إِنَّا جَعَلْنَا مَا عَلَى ٱلْأَرْضِ زِينَةً لَّهَا لِنَبْلُوَهُمْ أَيُّهُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلًا
(Truly we have made all that is on Earth as an adornment for it)
that We may try them, as to which of them is best in their deed.
Surah Al-Kahf, Verse 7
Tafseer e Jilani:
Inna ja’alne ma ala alardi: Without doubt We created upon this Earth three basic things; animals and humans, vegetation, and buried treasures. And We created whatever else comes from this Earth; different tastes and different lusts, which are physical or fantasy.
Zeenatal laha: These are adornments for it that make it (the world) beautiful and attractive…
Ayyuhum ahsan amlan: to see which of them (Mankind) has the best deeds and these deeds are the ones which are completed with true guidance and reflection by detachment from the world. And the absence of focus towards it and staying away from its enjoyment which is an illusion. And staying away from the distraction it creates and its lusts which bring with them all kinds of pain and difficulties and desires.
It is these wishes which in turn cause different sins and crimes. It is then imperative that in this world then one lives in a single room and wears a single outfit and eats simply, for everything else is just debris which is transient, which inherits sinfulness and trials.
When I read the last line of what is “imperative” only one word came to mind; Shaan.
The connection of knowledge and deed became clearer through the hadith:
من عمل بما یعلم اورثہ اللہ علم ما لم یعلم
Hence Nabi Pak (peace be upon him) says:
“The one who acts upon what he acquires as knowledge, Allah makes him inherit the knowledge which he does not know.”
Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “First learning must be gained from Creation. That is a command. Then comes the Knowledge from the Creator. And this is the Ilm ul Ludunni, the Knowledge of the Divine. This Divine Ilm from Allah is specific for the qalb, the Seat of Recognition of Allah, and it is a secret which is specific for the soul.
O Listener! How is it possible that you possess the capability to gain knowledge without a teacher? You are in the House of Wisdom so seek knowledge for seeking it is dutied upon you. Which is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said;
اطلبوا العلم ولو بالصين
Seek knowledge even if it lies as far as China.”
I had noticed how many current day political analysts quoted that particular saying frequently now that Pakistan was allied with China in an inseparable way geo-politically. But then every word The Beloved (peace be upon him) spoke was deliberate. It was taught. It had deep repercussions, some that seemed to be unveiling themselves for us in the homeland at least, 1,400 years later.
What was it that made the world and all that in it a distraction so intense that one’s soul was forgotten? It was the reason the soul could be ignored for an entire lifetime. I always paid attention to what was happening in China. Like everyone else the Party was doing things that were good and bad.
China had discovered that it had lost control of an entire generation. That thousands of years of culture had been wiped out in a matter of years. India had discovered the same but its reins were firmly in the hands of Hollywood and their own billionaires. They were only sinking fast with no turn around in sight.
Recently in China had started what was being called in the press, a new “cultural revolution.”
Reuters, August 31st, 2021; “Three hours a week: Play time's over for China's young video gamers. China has forbidden under-18s from playing video games for more than three hours a week, a stringent social intervention that it said was needed to pull the plug on a growing addiction to what it once described as ‘spiritual opium.’”
I was captivated by the language the Party used; spiritual opium! I guess once something bad happened to them, it was never forgotten. But it wasn’t just the limiting of the time during the seven days in a week. It was also exactly which days and which timings within those days that the three hours could be used.
“They limit under-18s to playing for one hour a day - 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. - on only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, according to the Xinhua state news agency. They can also play for an hour, at the same time, on public holidays. "Teenagers are the future of our motherland," Xinhua quoted an unnamed NPPA spokesperson as saying. "Protecting the physical and mental health of minors is related to the people's vital interests, and relates to the cultivation of the younger generation in the era of national rejuvenation."
They didn’t care if billions were wiped in shareholder value of the companies making the games. Which they were. In fact, quite the opposite. The Party had begun forcing them and the tech moguls to give charity in the billions as part of their “common prosperity” drive;
“To answer Beijing’s call of ‘common prosperity,’ China’s Big Tech are scrambling to prove their commitment to social values. Alibaba had earlier this year earmarked 100 billion yuan to help the national strategy of equal distribution of wealth, while Tencent has set up two batches of funds totalling 100 billion yuan."
I had been wondering how they could possible enforce such stringent rules, monitor hourly playing of games on the internet by millions of kids. But of course the Party knew how to get what it wanted exactly as it wanted; by controlling the supply of the “electronic drugs.
“Gaming companies will be barred from providing services to minors in any form outside the stipulated hours and must ensure they have put real-name verification systems in place, said the regulator, which oversees the country's video games market… The NPPA regulator told Xinhua it would increase the frequency and intensity of inspections for online gaming companies to ensure they were putting in place time limits and anti-addiction systems.”
When I read the pieces, I had been in the States. I mentioned the rules to every kid I saw strapped to their Ipad like it was an IV that gave them life. They looked amazed and then unsurprisingly, had the same response; “Thank God I don’t live in that country!”
But China didn’t stop at gaming and time spent on the internet. In 2009 they had banned internet porn and heavily fined and penalized any company distributing it. Not to mention adverse consequences for the viewers. But now they were shifting gears.
Insider, July 22nd 2021; “Chinese tech giants were fined for distributing ‘soft porn’ sticker packs and sexually suggestive videos with minors in them. The companies have been told to remove related content on their sites. The internet watchdog also imposed a blanket ban on people under 16 from appearing in live streams.”
No influencers, no You-tubers! It sounded like a miracle to me. And again the companies would be the ones enforcing the compliance.
“Under the campaign ‘Summer cleanup of the internet for minors,’ the CAC issued a blanket ban on young people under 16 from appearing on live streams, which have become an extremely popular way for Chinese e-commerce sites to sell goods. The statement did not detail how the agency is going to impose the ban, which would likely be left up to companies to comply. The internet regulator said the move is aimed at preventing young people from "worshipping money" and selling ‘extravagant pleasure.’”
Meanwhile Time Magazine named unhinged Elon Musk, Person of the Year, who was now saying that like the Prophet Noah (as), he wanted to take animals up to Mars on a space ship! The next day the story broke about misogyny rampant at Tesla with filings of sexual harassment suits and the claims that the 256 billion dollar “Person of the Year” was “sadistic.”
Hype around the metaverse, most heavily being pushed by the epitome of evil, Facebook, revealed the ugliest downside; sexual harassment in the virtual universe, starting with groping. Beta testers were having the unpleasant experience on Horizon World, Meta’s virtual reality social Media platform.
I had concerns about the whole virtual reality world we were going to be entering en masse but unwanted physical aggression was not on that list. I was mostly worried about people becoming reclusive and children getting further addicted to a life online.
The Post was printing article upon article about the links of social isolation to violence. On top of that “Since the return of spectators to high school sporting events following the pandemic shutdown, many young athletes across the country have experienced similar hate speech and other abuse. Namely using foul language, making obscene gestures, throwing objects and physically fighting. The uptick also has included spectators hurling sexually demeaning and racist language at young athletes."
The Wall Street Journal had been investigating TikTok and Instagram. Both had algorithms inundating minors with “endless spools of content about sex, drugs and eating disorders.” Little could be done about it by the companies and oversight was absent. But the new kid on the block was virtual reality.
MIT Technology Review, Dec 12th, 2021: …“There I was, being virtually groped in a snowy fortress with my brother-in-law and husband watching.”
…A recent review of the events around the user’s experience published in the journal for the Digital Games Research Association found that “many online responses to this incident were dismissive of the experience and, at times, abusive and misogynistic … readers from all perspectives grappled with understanding this act given the virtual and playful context it occurred in.” A constant topic of debate on message boards after the user’s Medium article was whether or not what she had experienced was actually groping if her body wasn’t physically touched.
Katherine Cross, who researches online harassment at the University of Washington, says that when virtual reality is immersive and real, toxic behavior that occurs in that environment is real as well. “At the end of the day, the nature of virtual-reality spaces is such that it is designed to trick the user into thinking they are physically in a certain space, that their every bodily action is occurring in a 3D environment,” she says. “It’s part of the reason why emotional reactions can be stronger in that space, and why VR triggers the same internal nervous system and psychological responses.”
The question is: Whose responsibility is it to make sure users are comfortable? Meta, for example, says it gives users access to tools to keep themselves safe, effectively shifting the onus onto them…If anything is clear, it’s this: There is no body that’s plainly responsible for the rights and safety of those who participate anywhere online, let alone in virtual worlds. Until something changes, the metaverse will remain a dangerous, problematic space.”
Companies off the hook and here we go again!
The cause of disobedience made me reflect on how I understood the word jahil. It was in two ways; the first was to be ignorant. The second was to know but deny the truth. That denial was rooted in the ego, the nafs, the base self. Why? Because it wanted to do what it wanted to do and justify it at all cost. I wondered which I was going to be when the “enemy” appeared.
My intense desire was to somehow be what Maula (ratu) had ordered;
إذا قدرت على عدوك فاجعل العفو عنه شكرا للقدرة عليه
“If you had the ability to destroy your enemy, forgive them out of thanks to God who granted you that ability (to forgive him).”
In the village reading I came across the teachers without whom spiritual journeys were just endless circles; the three types of guides.
Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “O Disciple! Remain in the company of the one that helps you to fight your nafs as opposed to the one who aids it against you.
When you adopt the company of a jahil, uninformed and munafiq, pretender Spiritual Master, who is a slave to his desire and his nature, he will help the nafs against you. It is compulsory upon you to seek the company of the Spiritual Masters who are not companions of the world but are companions for the Hereafter.
When the Sheikh is the one who is a follower of nature and desires, then he will keep company only for sake of the world.
When he is a Sahib e Dil, Sheikh of the Qalb, he will keep company keeping in mind the Afterlife.
And when the Sheikh is Sahib e Sirr, of the soul, then his company is to connect (others) with Allah alone.”
Since Shaan came in to my life I never got stuck for days on end on a thought, no matter what it was. Good or bad, disturbing or pleasing. Everything was a door. I saw the emotion, marked it and passed through it. I would even say the words out loud to stop fixating on a thought that would loop while I tried to make excuses that made its existence valid.
“See the door of nostalgia, judgement, anger, disappointment, grief, paranoia, anything and everything!
See the door!
Pass through it.”
There was no stuckness. At least not for long. But that also wasn’t always the case.
I had heard Sheikh Nurjan (ra) in a lecture talk about
وَقُلْ جَاءَ الْحَقُّ وَزَهَقَ الْبَاطِلُ إِنَّ الْبَاطِلَ كَانَ زَهُوقً
And declare, O Prophet (saw), “The truth has come and falsehood has vanished, for falsehood is bound to wither away - Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 81
“When you are solid in your settlement in Allah’s Unveiling before you, a clear Sun of Allah’s Essence has appeared, then there is nothing else for all has disappeared; the shadows and darkness that destroy one’s being. When you find that knowledge and you find that door, your life is to serve, to enter into that door. Once you enter that door, you pray to never leave it, to die in it.”
Babu ji (ra), my spiritual Master from Golra, had once said in Punjabi to my Mamu when he was in his early 20s, likely looking inside his heart, “don’t get stuck like a donkey in mud. Move on!”
I used to think maybe he said that in the context of love. My Mamu was deeply sensitive. That probably made him a classical romantic. But he didn’t say it in the context of any one thing. He said it in reference to every single thing.
Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani:
“You had made the behaviour of your nafs overpower the attributes of your qalb, which is the Seat of Recognition of Allah. This is because your good deeds were only for display and to claim good repute. Your purpose in following in the footsteps of the nafs was to receive things from this world that you thought would benefit you and showing truthful regard for your Lord was not your intention.
Still, he delivered you from painful punishment (for such acts) so that you would only desire to seek the Pleasure of Allah and occupy yourself only with His worship (by being mindful of Him at all times). If you were thus granted, due to His Mercy, advances in your spiritual ranks, don’t become stuck in them. Instead, move forward and continue to seek union with the Status and Stations of Allah’s Essence until you achieve success in reaching them.”
The placement of people, all of creation, in one’s life is tricky. They all serve as mirrors to see one self and they are the bait Iblis uses to create havoc. Truly a case of you cant live with them or without them!
Al Fath Ar Rabbani: Remember! Makhlooq, creation, is the veil over your nafs, ego.
And your ego is the veil over your qalb that prevents you from recognizing your Lord.
And your qalb is the veil over your batin, the inner being.
So as long as you remain stuck with people, you will not be able to see your nafs.”
It made me think back to the hadith on knowledge as self-awareness.
من عمل بما یعلم اورثہ اللہ علم ما لم یعلم
“The one who acts upon what he acquires as knowledge, Allah makes him inherit the knowledge which he does not know.”
So if one acted upon deed, the condition being that the act was rooted in ikhlas, sincerity, Allah opened a new door of knowledge. And if that was brought into deed, another door opened. Door upon door opening and door upon door carrying one towards sincerity.
It was the word ikhlas, the requirement of sincerity, of the deed that was elusive to me. Until Ghaus Pak (ra) told me what was the one place where it lay. The beginning of his words had made me cry because it was all I did wrong:
“Stop being satisfied by relaying the states of the Friends of God, and trying to look like them and copying and transmitting their words (to others), when all the while you act in complete opposition to their deeds.
For this will bring you no benefit at all. You are grime without purification, mere creation without the Creator, the world without the Afterlife, falsehood without truth, zahir, overt, without a batin, the inner being, words without deed and deed without ikhlas, sincerity.”
The whole paragraph had me sitting on edge but the word Ikhlas took me over the top. And then came the last line;
“The sincerity is not in accordance with the Sunnah, the acts and deeds of the Beloved of Allah (peace be upon him). Indeed, Allah never accepts words without deed. And He never accepts deeds without sincerity. Whatever it may be, if it is not in line with His Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace be upon him), He will never accept it.
This is all claim without proof. Therefore nothing is rightly accepted from you.”
Never before in my life was I being pointed with such emphasis towards one door alone; the Sunnah of The Belveod (peace be upon him). I always thought I knew how important it was but I never grasped that it was essential to the point that its absence made things worth naught. Usualy I always circled back to the world I guess because we were stuck in it. Even me who claimed such detachment from it.
The connection of sincerity with the Sunnah reminded me of a translation I had done of the end of Surah Al Araaf from the Tafseer e Jilani;
“It is incumbent upon you that if you want to receive true guidance from the Book, you have to enjoin yourself with the ahadith of Rasool Allah (peace be upon him). Because the ahadith are meant to explain it, reveal the secrets and signs in it, and make clear that which is ambiguous in it. The ahadith will give you the security you need to have true belief and secure you from slipping and turning away from guidance. It is the ahadith that which take you, according to your capacity, to the path of One-ness.”
Every day I sat in the garden and saw the light outside turn a warm yellow in the afternoon. The sky became a powdery blue and everything became brighter and brighter, light upon light. And every day I wished it was the first day there, the beginning of five. In one of my New Yorkers I came across an excellent piece of fiction by a Native American writer. I had not come across him before.
It was titled Featherweight. I loved it because it was a story about love. The writing was a little racy but there were lines in it that made me pause. Like the first; “When I first met my love…” I don’t come across romance often in the magazine so it was a treat. Especially since it was written about young love, kids in their 20s, the intensity running sky high all the time in angst and pleasure.
…She was like that – anything I said she rejected on principle.
…She could never calm down. Her nerves were always at DEFCON 1. One night I told her the true divide between us was not the thing her mother had told us but that I came from buffalo people and she came from fish people. No, she said. You come from sober people and I come from people who throw plates.
…Love is most often a resurrected thing.
…Some of us are like that. One moment we’re one way, the next we’re another.
And my favourite:
…I accepted it completely and forever, just as the sun accepts that it will never catch the moon.
Because it was exactly about my first short story, Ash Shams Wa Al Qamr, The Sun and the Moon.
Every afternoon after I read I took my books in and waited for Pathani. To ask her which direction we would go in that day. To hear her reply whichever you want. The comfort of sameness never leaves me.
As I walked amidst the orchid of orange trees trying to choose one to pick some fruit from to try, I thought about how it was not surprising to me that Iblis’ favourite tactic was inserting delusion, creating paranoia, causing obsession over all things worldly. There was no one more deluded than him. He gloated over the warp speed with which he corrupted everything that was made pure and we reveled in our embracing of it under the single guide of modernity, applauding ourselves over non-judgment and freedom. He handed us matches and we set ourselves on fire. That’s another 70 pager that is exhausting to just think about.
So when I came across the verse in the Quran about how on the Day that mattered, the excuse that we were led by him, deceived by him would not stand, I was amazed that we were even foretold that.
Then the deceiver would just turn around say, “I have nothing to do with you or your choices.” The beginning of the exegesis was amazing starting with this; that desires and lusts that caused ruin would be given the appearance of Satan.
وَقَالَ ٱلشَّيْطَنُ لَمَّا قُضِىَ ٱلْأَمْرُ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ وَعَدَكُمْ وَعْدَ ٱلْحَقِّ وَوَعَدتُّكُمْ فَأَخْلَفْتُكُمْ ۖ
وَمَا كَانَ لِىَ عَلَيْكُم مِّن سُلْطَنٍ إِلَّآ أَن دَعَوْتُكُمْ فَٱسْتَجَبْتُمْ لِى ۖ
فَلَا تَلُومُونِى وَلُومُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُم ۖ
مَّآ أَنَا۠ بِمُصْرِخِكُمْ وَمَآ أَنتُم بِمُصْرِخِىَّ ۖ
إِنِّى كَفَرْتُ بِمَآ أَشْرَكْتُمُونِ مِن قَبْلُ ۗ
إِنَّ ٱلظَّلِمِينَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌۭ
And when everything will have been decided Satan will say,
"Indeed, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I promised you, but I betrayed you.
But I had no authority over you, except that I invited you, and you responded to me.
So do not blame me, but blame yourselves.
I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you come to mine.
Indeed, I deny your previous association of me (with Allah).”
Indeed, the wrongdoers, for them (is) a punishment painful."
Surah Ibrahim, Verse 22
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa qala Shaitaan: The desires which corrupt and corrupt others, first of all, they will say about Mankind, when they will have been given the appearance of Satan the deceiver…
Lamma qudiyal amr: after the matter has been decided about the abode of the people of Heaven in Heaven and the people of Hell in Hell...
Innallaha: (those desires that will be given the appearance of Satan will say) indeed Allah, Al Muslih, The Reformer, Al Mudabbir, The Disposer of the affairs of His Servants…
Wa’adukum wa’adal Haq: He promised you about this Day (to not follow Satan) which you are now held accountable for…
Wa wa’adtukum: and I promised you waywardness and delusion, opposite to His Promise…
Fa akhlaftukum: so I went against that which your Lord promised you, despite that its fulfillment (of my promise) was impossible and there was never any doubt about that ever. And you followed my words despite that this was a delusion and disobedience. There could have never been any hope that the promises would come true and still, you believed me.
Wa: And yet another thing is that…
Ma kana li alaykum min sultan: I had no control over you. There is no proof that I could have overcome you and nor do I have an argument which allows me refuge…
Illa an dawutakum: except that I only invited you according to your choices and your desires which was exactly based on your lusts and physicality, and knowing all that…
Fastajabtum li: you accepted my call and you accepted it to be true, without reflection and without delaying, willingly and with want.
Fala talumoni alyoum: So don’t blame me today…
Wa loumo anfusukum: and blame your selves which persuaded you and beckoned you towards following me, along with your knowing (full well that this) was my trap and my enemity.
Ma ana: I am not today…
Bimusrihikum: your helper (if you want to call upon me to help you), nor do I have authority to help you, even if I claim to be with you, like I used to in the past, to deceive you and create illusions…
Wa ma antum: And neither are you…
Bimusrikhi: my deliverers, now that everything has come to light and the bondage of love between us has been cut and everyone has become the saver of their own selves according to what they have done.
Inni: Indeed I, on this day after the unveiling of the secrets and the hidden truths,
Kafartu: deny i.e. disassociate myself from and refuse…
Bima asharktumooni: those things by which you joined me in committing shirk (associating others) with Allah, who is Al Wahid Al Ahad, The Only One, As Samad, The Eternal One on whom all depends, with whom nothing can be associated at all…
Min qablu: from what happened in the world of delusion and lies and deception.
Inna ad dalimeena: Indeed, the transgressors, the ones who are outside the parameters of the fulfillment of Allah’s Commands and what He forbids in hostility and in deviance…
Lahum: for them today…
Adaaun aleem: is a painful torment.
It made me think of the two verses I had translated about the human will. Its existence only by virtue of God’s Will. The first verse was for everyone and the word that caught my eye was “conscience.”
وَمَا تَشَآءُونَ إِلَّآ أَن يَشَآءَ ٱللَّهُ رَبُّ ٱلْعَلَمِينَ
And you cannot will it unless Allah wills it.
Surah At-Takwir, Verse 29
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa: And the end of this chapter is this, that indeed…
Ma tasha’oona: what you will and what you choose in the way of your conscience and guidance for yourselves…
Illa ayyasha Allahu: is not except that which Allah wills for your guidance and gives you ability for with steadfastness and morality, as a favour upon you and His Bounty.
Because the deeds performed by you in your routine are only coming from Allah, generated by Him in their origin, because He is the Only One, Glory be to Him…
Rabbul Alimeen: Sustainer of the Universe. There is no Sustainer present except Him and there is no Disposer of Affairs in the apparent realms except Him. And the demand of His Nurturing and making perfect and complete is fulfilled by guiding His Servants and granting them ability towards that which is best for them and what is the most suitable for their situation.
The second applied only for His Friends, the Mutaqarraboon:
وَمَا تَشَآءُونَ إِلَّآ أَن يَشَآءَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًۭا
But you cannot will it unless Allah wills it.
Indeed, Allah is All Knowing, All wise.
Surah Al Insaan, Verse 30
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa: But…
Ma tasha’oona: you cannot will anything, those who attained Allah’s Qurb i.e. Closeness, the Mutaqarraboon, who travel towards Him according to their ability from Allah and ease from Allah…
Illa ayya sha’ Allah: except that which Allah wills, who is Al Muwaffiq, The One who grants ability, Al Mujid, The One who creates, Al Muqaddir, The One who decides destiny, for their (the Mutaqaarbeen’s) routine actions and deeds, Al Munji, The One who saves them from the invisibility of possibilities and the darkness of thoughts and paranoia.
Innallaha: Indeed, Allah is Al Muttali’u, The One who is Fully Aware of the ability of His Servants.
Kana Aleemun: And He is The Knower of their capacity that makes one able to receive the Bounty of Kashf, unveiling and Shuhood, eye-witnessing.
Hakeem an: Allah, He is All Wise in their nurturing and their completion.
Everything in these days was highlighting that my refuge only existed in “The One who saves them from the invisibility of possibilities and the darkness of thoughts and paranoia.” I thought of Shaan. He was saved. In his routine actions and deeds, in his words, he was innocent and he was kind. He instantly forgave those who were mean to him. I saw it. There was never grudge. He was made pure.
He repelled negativity naturally by leaving the space it sprung in. Often when he was around my friends, who he seemed initially excited to meet, he would leave within 10 minutes of us hanging out. It took that much time, if not less, for someone to start gossiping or saying something critical about someone. I would look around and he would be gone, either walking outside or watching a video on his game.
It was like he knew the incident:
A man reviled Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) in the presence of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) remained seated. He looked pleased and smiled. The man insulted Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) twice but the latter controlled himself and remained silent. He insulted him for a third time and Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) let his tongue loose and responded back.
At that time the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) got up and left. Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) followed after him and said, “Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you)! He insulted me and you just sat there. Then when I responded to some of what he said, you became angry and left.”
The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) replied. “There was an angel with you who was responding to his insults on your behalf. When you insulted him back, the evil Jinn appeared and I don’t sit in the company of Shaitaan. Keep in mind a thing which is always true Abu Bakr: Whenever a person is subjected to an injustice but leaves the matter to Allah, then Allah will come to his aid.”
A verse that I had uttered practically since birth took on a renewed significance, one that I had entirely ignored my whole life in my saying it purely verbatim.
I seek refuge from Satan, the accursed.
Since reading in so many verses that refuge was sought in Allah, I was trying to be more mindful of saying the line. Sometimes mid-prayer inane distracting thoughts would enter my mind, sometimes disturbing ones and I would say the line mid-prayer.
إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوْا۟ إِذَا مَسَّهُمْ طَٓئِفٌۭ مِّنَ ٱلشَّيْطَنِ تَذَكَّرُوا۟ فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ
Indeed, those who are mindful and conscious of Allah, when touches them an evil thought from the Shaitaan,
they remember Allah and then they are those who begin to see things clearly.
Surah Al-Araaf, Verse 201
Tafseer e Jilani:
Then said Allah reminding His Beloved (peace be upon him);
Innalladina ittaqau: Those who are conscious and mindful of Me amongst My Servants, they are in a routine such that…
Ida massahum: whenever touches them and tries to overcome them…
Taifun: the sender from Satan who awaits and encircles their hearts…
Min Ash-Shaitan tadakkaru: they remind themselves of what they been commanded to do and what is forbidden for them from Allah…
Fa idahum: so in the same moment, due to the remembrance of what has been commanded and that which is forbidden…
Mubsiroon: they become able to differentiate the placement of the sins and therefore become careful of them and come into the Refuge of Allah from those things that put them into false illusions about Him.
Especially when anger came upon me. As rare as it had become, when it appeared it was still as consuming as the early days, when I can only admit with shame, I reveled in it. It’s ability to overpower and defeat another. Anyone!
وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ نَزْغٌ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
If an evil suggestion come to you from Satan stirring you (to blind anger),
then seek refuge with Allah. Surely He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.
Surah Al-A’raf, Verse 200
Tafseer e Jilani:
Wa Imma Yanazaghannaka: So if reaches you whispers which then disappear, thus placing you in a state of disruption…
Min Shaitaan: it is from Shaitaan, who influences you physically through the organs which cause anger and stokes the ego in a way that is only ignorant creating a false sense of dignity…
Nazghun: causing doubts and delusions that persuade you to become angry and take you out of the state that you have been ordered to stay in, which is tolerance and softness of behaviour.
Fasta’iz billah: So come into the Refuge of Allah from these entrapments and return to Him from these doubts and this plotting. He is with His Glory Enough to protect you from his evil and treachery.
Inna hu: Indeed, Allah is Pure from everything that is negative…
Sami’un: and is the Acceptor of your prayers,
Aleem: and the Fulfiller of your needs.
The above verse was in particular a breakthrough for me. All that angered me all the time was around the feeling of disrespect. Recently I had raged because of people disrespecting Shaan. Who cared nothing about it. It wasn’t just gossip he didn’t engage in. It was also anger, complaining, even sadness.
If I thought someone tried to dismiss him or take advantage of his naiveté, I would fly off the handle. The recent incident that came to mind was on the 12th of Rabbul Awwal, the day that the Universe celebrates the birthday of the Mercy for it, I had a gathering at my house. Shaan came. He told me there was no water at his apartment for the last day and a half so he wanted to bathe and change at mine.
“Why didn’t you tell me there was no water Shaan?” I asked concerned. “I would have called the landlord.” Who I was already furious at for kicking Shaan out of the place because he couldn’t figure out the lock and key situation. He had then set conditions that Shaan couldn’t leave the house unattended in case he left something ajar again. He had to be picked and dropped because he couldn’t leave the house alone in case he left something unlocked. I wanted to call the guy and yell at him.
Then the opportunity for revenge appeared. Courtesy of Iblis! The landlord had to return the security deposit. He was play hardball saying I will keep this and I will deduct them. I called up someone I knew in the police. The police in Pakistan have a particular reputation of extraction in the worst way possible. I imagined him being slapped around when his first reaction, given his arrogance, would be of refusal.
For two night though the fantasy left me sleepless. During the day I would feel fine making a decision for retribution which was justified for many reasons; the man was a bully. He was treating me the way he was only because I was a woman. That was standard in Pakistan. No one took us seriously. A downside I hardly ever experienced so now that I was, my being livid was off the charts. Plus there was always the “decent” excuse. If I didn’t teach him a lesson, he would do it to someone else. At night I would lie thinking, am I doing the right thing? Am I doing it for my ego or is it justice well deserved?
The sleeplessness should have been the tell. If I was doing it for the right reason, I would have slept like a baby.
It was exactly like how the verse described; my organs were making me angry, my ego was being stoked in a way that was definitely only ignorant. I was well outside the circles of tolerance and softness of behaviour. And I was being jahil, in this case denying the truth, that Nabi Kareem (saw) would have forgiven him for sure because he literally forgave everyone everything.
Then there was the other factor; running to people to get something done. It was rendering me restless and humiliated. That was really all that I knew was deserved.
I even did an istakhara; ask the Quran what to do. The verse that had come was this;
وَمَا يَسْتَوِى ٱلْبَحْرَانِ هَـٰذَا عَذْبٌ فُرَاتٌ سَآئِغٌ شَرَابُهُۥ وَهَـٰذَا مِلْحٌ أُجَاجٌ ۖ
وَمِن كُلٍّ تَأْكُلُونَ لَحْمًا طَرِيًّا وَتَسْتَخْرِجُونَ حِلْيَةً تَلْبَسُونَهَا ۖ
وَتَرَى ٱلْفُلْكَ فِيهِ مَوَاخِرَ لِتَبْتَغُوا۟ مِن فَضْلِهِۦ
وَلَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ
The two bodies of water are not alike: one is fresh, palatable, and pleasant to drink
and the other is salty and bitter.
Yet from them both you eat tender seafood and extract ornaments to wear.
And you see the ships ploughing their way through both,
so you may seek His Bounty and give thanks to Him.
Surah Fatir, Verse 12
At the time I was told the sign was to go ahead. Pull the trigger on sending in the troops so to speak and “extract” all that was owed. The amount itself was so insignificant, I can’t even mention it here. I had worked around that too in my head; it wasn’t about the money, it was the principal at stake blah blah blah…
At dinner I was relieved the verse gave me the green light. By midnight I hadn’t sleep so at Fajr, I prayed and wept and apologized to Allah and His Rasool (saw) for being eternally out of control. In endless waves. During the prayer, I thought of the verse in the istakhara as the two rivers being my soul and my ego. One sweet and pleasant, the other salty and bitter. Both however had corals for me.
Initially I had seen myself as the pleasant, sweet, palatable river. My ego was thrilled. The landlord was the salty bitter nightmare. Of course! But at Fajr I saw it differently. The two bodies, separate and opposite were within my own self; the first was my soul, the second my nafs. In both were jewels for me. One polished my heart so my Qalb could gain recognition of God. The other was nothing but a reminder of Him. Or so was my reading of the situation.
I had come across a fascinating commentary by Hazrat Najumddin Kubra (ra) about the pact made between the nafs, the ruh (soul) and the batin (the inner being) every time a human being was created.
بَرَآءَةٌۭ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِۦٓ إِلَى ٱلَّذِينَ عَهَدتُّم مِّنَ ٱلْمُشْرِكِينَ
The disavowal from obligations by Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) from the covenant with the idolators.
Surah Tauba, Verse 1
Commentary by Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) on the verse:
The symbolic meaning of the verse is this: The mushrikeen, the idolator, is the wayward and polytheist nafs, the base self, who made desires its lord and master and began to worship the idols of the world. When a person is in their early years, the ruh and qalb, the soul and the heart within the heart which is the Station of Recognition of Allah, made a pact with the nafs.
The terms of it being that the ruh and the qalb will not fight and kill the nafs until the person reaches maturity. Similarly, the nafs also makes a pact not to instigate problems with the ruh and the qalb so that the bodily skeleton reaches complete maturity and the physical strength is attained at its peak, which carry the burden of Allah’s Trust and become watchful of Islamic Jurisprudence, the Shari’a.
In this time, the aql, the intellect, the power to reason and reflect, becomes strong which can then accept the invitation of Truth and have the ability to answer it. It is this aql that allows the recognition of the Prophets and their miracles. And it is through this aql that the proof of the Presence of Allah is established and it understands the compulsion of His Worship in order to express gratitude towards Him for His Blessings.
Indeed, Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) withdraw from the pact after maturity is gained.
Because Man broke the pact which was between the nafs and the ruh and the qalb. Before maturity was gained, the nafs was only focused on eating, drinking and clothing itself so that the body can develop and all its needs are met. To this extent, there was no problem for the ruh and the qalb from the nafs. But once maturity was gained, lust and desires became added to these needs.
When the lust appeared along with the need for food and drink, its destruction, created physical desires for a mate. When that lust was aroused and started tempting the body, the qalb and the ruh began to become weak. This was the fatal disease for which the Prophets were sent so as to dispel it.
انما بعثت لرفع العادات و ترک الشھوات
Just like Nabi Kareem (peace be upon said),
“I have been sent to end the ways of ignorance and to prevail over the desires of lust.”
“It’s cool Ma’am,” Shaan had said about the water situation, answering me with his favourite response. “I didn’t want to disturb you. I made do with whatever water I had in the fridge.”
Two hours later we had found out that Shaan had left one of the taps in the house open so the water from the now fixed water tank was gone again. I didn’t care. “Tell them,” I told my driver, “that if he didn’t complain about not having water for two days, they can shut up about a running tap.”
The match that could light that anger was right next to me I was told.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
مَا مِنْكُمْ مِنْ أَحَدٍ إِلَّا وَقَدْ وُكِّلَ بِهِ قَرِينُهُ مِنْ الْجِنِّ
قَالُوا وَإِيَّاكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ
قَالَ وَإِيَّايَ إِلَّا أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَانَنِي عَلَيْهِ فَأَسْلَمَ فَلَا يَأْمُرُنِي إِلَّا بِخَيْرٍ
The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, “There is no one amongst you except that next to him is an associate from the Jinn (who propels him towards sin.)
The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Even with you?”
He replied, “And even with me except that Allah helped me against him and he surrendered so (now) he doesn’t say order me towards anything except goodness.
Ghaus Pak (ra) says, “Melt your nafs, your desires and your nature with regular fasting, constant salat and constant patience. When that melting is made right for a person, then his Lord remains without any interference. The only thing that then remains is the qalb, the batin and God; open-ness without tightness, illness without disease.
Use your powers to reflect! Gain knowledge, act upon it, and become sincere.”
In Lahore, I had been reading Surah Tauba on my own. In the last few verses to command to establish prayer had been coming up a lot.
إِنَّمَا يَعْمُرُ مَسَجِدَ ٱللَّهِ مَنْ ءَامَنَ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْءَاخِرِ وَأَقَامَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَءَاتَى ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَلَمْ يَخْشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّهَ ۖ
فَعَسَىٰٓ أُو۟لَٓئِكَ أَن يَكُونُوا۟ مِنَ ٱلْمُهْتَدِينَ
Only those who will maintain the Masajid of Allah, who believes in Allah and the Last Day
and establishes the prayer and gives the zakat and does not fear anyone except Allah.
Then perhaps, they are of the guided ones.
Surah Tauba, Verse 18
I focused on the tafseer of the words aqaam as salat - establish prayer: “Because it always keeps the inclination and focus on Allah alone.”
That wasn’t true for me but then I wasn’t praying like I was told to, as if I was seeing God.
فَإِن تَابُوا۟ وَأَقَامُوا۟ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَءَاتَوُا۟ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ فَإِخْوَنُكُمْ فِى ٱلدِّينِ ۗ
If they repent and pray and give the purifying alms, they become your brethren in faith.
Surah Tauba, Verse 11
Aqamus Salat: “Establish prayer for it cleanses their batin, inner being, from inclination from anything other than Allah.’
I wondered when and how that would ever happen for me.
Then one evening I had asked Shaan; “In the Quran, Shaan, it says “establish prayer.” Not read it or perform it. “Aqeemu salat” – establish prayer. What does that mean to you?”
Shaan flicked his hair aside and just said matter of factly, “I think it means when you pray, pray with a pure, truthful heart. When it is clean and cleansed of everything.”
I just stared at him. He wasn’t even praying yet he was in a state of establishing prayer. Which I had heard Uzair describe as being on the prayer mat the same as off of it; Physically clean and focused on Allah alone. The ablution was a requirement we could fulfill and hope it was correctly performed. But the singular focus on God, zero distraction, who had that in their salat?
Shaan was what had gotten me interested in the verses about the nature of Man in the Quran; the verses that had to do with me, not him.
إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَنَ لِرَبِّهِۦ لَكَنُودٌۭ
Indeed Man towards his Lord is forever ungrateful.
Surah Al Adiyat, Verse 1
Tafseer e Jilani:
And overall Allah takes oaths, great, (upon previous verses to say):
Innal insaana: Indeed, Man who is formed in ingratitude and forgetfulness…
Li Rabbihi: towards His Lord, who raised him in varying types of karam, Blessings, and ehsaan, Favour,
La kanood: is ungrateful and denies the Truth, transgressing the boundaries of ingratitude and denial of Truth and is tyrannical.
وَإِنَّهُۥ عَلَىٰ ذَلِكَ لَشَهِيدٌۭ
And indeed, surely he is a witness.
Surah Al Adiyat, Verse 6
Wa Innahu: And indeed, the nafs of Insaan, Man’s own self…
Ala’ dalika: upon his tyranny and his ingratitude and denial of truth…
La shaheed: is a witness. The effects of kufran, ingratitude and denial of Truth and tughyan, oppression, appear upon him forever.
A Long Time Coming
رجب شھر الزرع و شعبان شھر السقی و رمضان شھر الحصاد
Rajab is the month of planting and Sha’ban is the month of watering
and Ramadan is the month of reaping.
Imam Abdul Qadir Jilani (ra)
On the 30th of December, I attended my first wedding in five years. Five days later I came down with a fever. It was only 99 so I didn’t think anything of it. A day later, on a friend’s suggestion, I took a COVID test. It came out positive. For a few minutes I just stared at it and one thought ran through my mind. No two. The first was when exactly I had not been in a state of ablution that had not sealed my body from a jab from a jinn. The second was did I regret going to the wedding.
I couldn’t figure out the first precisely. My ablutions had been getting increasingly less thorough because of the cold. Even though I never turned the water to warm because Qari Sahib had said, “Allah likes two things immensely; the fast of the summer and the ablution with cold water.”
I couldn’t regret the wedding. It was the first wedding of my friends’ children and this was one of my closest friend’s sons. One of two boys amongst the lot who I loved like I might have loved my own. His name was Shahmir. The other was Zamin.
I had a trip to Karachi planned like I did every year to exit Lahore as soon as it became unbearably cold. That was obviously cancelled and I prepared to isolate for at least 10 days. I was grateful that if I was going to contract the illness, it was of the version that seemed to be the mildest. In my room, I decided to work on the video that, in a sense, was taking me a year to make; for the 13th of Rajab, the birth of Maula e Kayinaat, Hazrat Ali (as).
Over the last two years I had made seven videos, all of them spectacular. The kalam, verse, was stupefying beautiful. Ustad Imran’s rendition of them only became more perfect. His last one for the birthday celebration of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) had literally blown a hole in the sky. I had learnt that phrase from a painting by Georgis O’Keefe at the Seattle Art Museum.
"I want real things - live people to take hold of - to see - to talk to - music that makes holes in the sky."
I was using it incessantly.
I had been deeply disappointed by my inability to bring everything together for the video the year before but now everything was falling into place. I found someone who was reputed to be one of the best sitar players in town. His name was Rakae which in itself deserves a story because it was the same as a word from the narration in the video. The story was beautiful.
It was one of the instances, of which scholars count at least 300 if not much more, where a verse of the Quran was revealed solely for the blessed Imam (ratu). In this case giving charity while in ruku,’ specifically the position in the salat where one touches their hands upon their knees, thus always translated as “bowing in prayer.”
Lord only knows how many times I had paused my own position in ruku’ to imagine what he had done, what it must have felt like. Which I couldn’t really because anyone else moving their hand like that, to loosen a ring, would have nullified the prayer and had to start it over from the beginning.
When the Imam (as) did it a verse was revealed.
إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ
وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَهُمْ رَاكِعُونَ
Only are your true helpers Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him)
and those who have attained to faith,
the ones who are firmly immersed in their prayers,
who give the dutied charity that purifies,
while they bow in worship.
Surah Al Maidah, Verse 55
The video was different from the onset. It didn’t start with the traditional beginning I had always used; either the Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim – In the Name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful or the Kalima – the first pillar of Islam and the utterance that makes one a Muslim – La ilaha illallaha Muhammad Ar Rasool Allah – There is no Presence except that of Allah and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His Messenger.
I had commissioned a letter from an artist friend, Abeda. The letter “Baa” which begins the Bismillah verse and placed a hugely significant quote next to it;
Verily, all secrets of the Divine Books are in the Quran,
and all knowledge of the Qur'an is in Surah Al-Fatihah,
and all knowledge of Al-Fatihah is in
“Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim,”
In the Name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful
and all knowledge of “Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim” is in its “Baa,”
(the first letter of 'Bismillah')
and all knowledge of the “Baa” is in the dot below it
and Imam Ali (ratu) said, I am that dot under the “Baa.”
I had decided to use the exegesis of the verse in the video rather than a simple translation. That was the bounty of studying verses of the Qura0n from the Tafseer e Jilani by Ghaus Pak (ra). It was magnificent.
In my days of isolation I didn’t have much to do so I continued my classes with Qari Sahib online. I had been storing a list of verses I had chosen from different lectures by Uzair and we would study them from the Tafseer e Jilani one by one. On my own, I had been reading the Urdu translation of Surah Tauba and it was blowing me away.
Tauba is the Surah of Repentance. Needless to say it is intense. It is also the only Surah that doesn’t start with the verse every other Surah starts with; Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim, In the Name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful. I didn’t know why that was. I tried googling it but only came across a lot of debate and differences in opinion that seemed tied to maslak, the ideology of different sects.
I asked Qari Sahib what he had heard about it.
“The main reason is that the angel Hazrat Gibrael (as) did not bring it with him for this Surah.”
He also gave me the reason from Imam Ali (as).
“The Surah Tauba was revealed to raise the sword against the infidels. Hence it did not start with Allah’s Mercy.”
The verses in Surah Tauba which struck me the most started with one in which a question is posed to the reader; where have you set the foundation of your faith? Which I ended up summarizing as; Is it upon being mindful of your Lord or upon deprivation and humiliation?
أَفَمَنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَنَهُۥ عَلَىٰ تَقْوَىٰ مِنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرِضْوَنٍ خَيْرٌ
أَم مَّنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَنَهُۥ عَلَىٰ شَفَا جُرُفٍ هَارٍۢ فَٱنْهَارَ بِهِۦ فِى نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ ۗ
وَٱللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِى ٱلْقَوْمَ ٱلظَّلِمِينَ
Which is better, the one who has founded his building on God-conscious and a desire for His acceptance,
or he who has founded his building on the edge of a crumbling cliff that will tumble with him into Hellfire?
God does not guide people who are deliberately unjust.
Surah Tauba, Verse 109
Tafseer e Jilani
Afaman assassa: Is he, the one who laid his foundation and placed it…
Bunyanahu ala: supported by a strong beam, and a heavy pillar that is…
Taqwa: God-consciousness i.e. safe-guarding and fortressing…
Min Allah: from Allah i.e. from His Anger and His Displeasure…
Wa: and he…
Ridwanin: sought Allah’s Pleasure and a great reward and high ranks from Him…
Kahirun am man assassa bunyanahu ala shafa jurufin haarin: or is the one better, who has founded his building on the edge of a crumbling cliff i.e. the edge of a valley which has water in it and has rain falling upon it and it crumbles and some of it will still be destroyed more and make the rest disintegrate as well? So he placed his foundation on this
Fa anhara bihi: and thus he fell…
Fi naari jahannuma: in the fires of Hell i.e. a deep valley, very wide, full of the fire of deprivation and humiliation.
Wallahu: And Allah is Al Haadi, The True Guide, for his sincere worshippers.
La yahdil qaum ad-dalimeen: He does not guide the people who are of the Zalimeen, the ones who have left acting upon the things which He has ordered and forbidden.
It was the next verse that had pierced my own heart like an arrow even though I didn’t think my “foundation” was placed on anything other than raising spiritual consciousness. It was the idea of harbouring desires that were not going to be achieved and how they were shredding the heart. It sounded like Chinese torture. Doubt falling drop by drop upon the same place, tearing it to pieces. All the while not even knowing what was happening and therefore causing a continuing of the pain because of being set on something whose fulfillment had been fated not possible.
It’s not like I hadn’t been there myself. But I was younger. The desires were more inane. One forgot them. Or was it just that these days there was someone in my house I was looking after and that made those memories fade entirely? I couldn’t honestly tell.
Maybe the simple truth was just that at an older age, if one got consumed by a want, its effects were devastating. I had noticed it in people around me. Even though some of them were only in their 30s. When I thought about I realized that that people’s pain seemed to be always rooted in the same place; loneliness.
It was the Quran that had revealed to me that the state was masked in pain but it was born in anger. I wasn’t even touching the second part it mentioned – wickedness of nature. The obstacle was always the self; the absolute denial around one’s own fault, one’s own role in the “delusion.”
لَا يَزَالُ بُنْيَنُهُمُ ٱلَّذِى بَنَوْا۟ رِيبَةًۭ فِى قُلُوبِهِمْ إِلَّآ أَن تَقَطَّعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ ۗ
وَٱللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ
The building they built will always be a source of skepticism within their hearts until their hearts are torn to pieces.
Allah knows everything and He is Wise
Surah Tauba, Verse 110
Tafseer e Jilani
And because of the intensity of their anger and wickedness of their inner being…
La yazalu bunyanuhum alladi banawu: the building they built will just inherit and increase…
Ribatan: doubts and these ambiguities will increase…
Fi qulibihim: in their hearts, drop by drop…
Illa an taqatta’a qulubuhum: except that it (that doubt) will cut their hearts with the fire of desires that cannot be fulfilled and their hearts will be shredded and disappear because of the trials of being punished to the extent that they will never know.
Wallahu aleem-un: And Allah is All Knowing of their hidden delusion in their breasts.
Hakeem: (Allah is) All Wise who decides the recompense for it (that delusion) and how to call them to question over it.
I guess when one awaits the possibility of love pining for someone who has to appear or reappear, it’s hard to turn it around and see how that want could be exactly what’s causing the pain. It seems so natural a craving, so human.
Some of my loved ones were appearing to be in in the same predicament whether they were single or coupled. I spent my time thinking about what to tell them that might bring ease. Each situation was so unique except for that commonality of disappointment around feeling alone.
I had been coming across a few verses as cures to shake off the state. My favourite find was the following; charity that increased and blessed and purified but more than any of that, brought one the prayers of Allah’s Habeeb (peace be upon him). With that prayer came “forgiveness from God” and “sakoon, tranquility” and ended “the distractions that hindered the taste of spirituality.” And that wasn’t even all of it. Beyond the troika of perfection were other blessings upon blessings!
خُذْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ صَدَقَةًۭ تُطَهِّرُهُمْ وَتُزَكِّيهِم بِهَا وَصَلِّ عَلَيْهِمْ ۖ
إِنَّ صَلَوٰتَكَ سَكَنٌۭ لَّهُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
Take from their wealth a charity, purifying them and cause them increase in it and bless them.
Indeed, your prayers are a comfort for them.
And Allah is The Hearer of All, The Knower of Everything.
Surah Tauba, Verse 103
Tafseer e Jilani
Khud: Accept, O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (peace be upon you)…
Min amwalihim: from their possessions of those who are Al Mudnibeen, sinners and Al Tai’been, the repenters and Al Nadimeen the ones who are regretful, of that which has happened from them because of their going against you, when they asked for your permission that you leave this matter…
Sadqatan tuttahirruhum: (Accept) alms so you purify them from the filth of their nature that they are crazy about, which is love of possessions and the greed of gathering them and increasing them…
Wa tuzzakihim biha: by which you cleanse their batin, inner beings, from distractions that hinder them from the taste of spirituality…
Wa salle alaihim: and pray for them and ask for their maghfirat, forgiveness for their sins, and pray for them the prayer of all goodness.
Inna salaataka: Indeed your prayer and your caring for their states…
Sakana al lahum: brings inner peace for their hearts and dignity and calmness and the means of their being steadfast and firmly footed in the Realm of Allah’s Tauheed, His One-ness and Imaan, faith.
Wallahu: And Allah, Al Muraqib, The One who watches over them in all their states is…
Samee-un: All Hearing of their sincerity and their secret conversations with him…
Aleem-un: All Knowing of their intentions and their needs.
The remarkable thing is that the extreme difficulty of loneliness makes a human being the most vulnerable to waswasa, that which causes paranoia and doubt, from Iblis and devastation by one’s own nafs, the base self. Being alone renders one exposed to whispers of dismay. Iblis sows the seed, the nafs runs with it.
It could make the most patient person hasty, the most mild person perpetually agitated, the most grateful person an incessant complainer, the most pleasant person impossible to be around, the softest person harder than a rock, a loving person numb and indifferent, the generous person unimaginably miserly. Hearts that were open closed. Faces that were lit became ashen. Light turned to darkness.
In becoming their opposite, the loneliness also became the conduit for heedlessness, the opposite of being mindful. I discovered that accidently while reading the Tafseer e Tustari in my days of isolation. I was focusing on Surah Taha but then happened to come across the last line of Surah 7, Al Araaf.
Hazrat Sahel Tustari defined heedlessness for the ordinary. It was pride and pride was the root of the two sides of the coin of sadness; anger and self-pity.
The source of tranquility, other than God, caused negligence for the ordinary because they became arrogant over it.
[[7:205] …and do not be of the heedless…
وَلَا تَكُن مِّنَ ٱلْغَفِلِينَ
And do not be among the heedless.
Surah Al Araaf, Verse 205
Hazrat Sahl (ra) said: “In truth I say to you without any falsehood, in certainty without a doubt, that any person who spends a breath in other than God’s Remembrance does so while being heedless of God, Mighty and Majestic is He.”
He also said: “Heedlessness (ghafla) among the elite (khāṣṣ) is finding (sukūn) peace in anything [other than Him]. Heedlessness among the ordinary (ʿāmm) is taking pride (iftikhār) in anything [other than Him], that is to say, it is feeling proud of that tranquility.”
In all of this, I noticed that one thing seems to surface and then prevail; the inability to be loving, the absence of warmth, which was the only reason Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) said he was bestowed to humanity.
عن جابر بن عبد الله قال : لما نزلت سورة "براءة" قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : بعثت بمداراة الناس
From Jābir b. ʿAbd Allāh (may God be pleased with them all), that he reported that when Sūrat Barāʾa (Tauba) was sent down, the Messenger of God said,
“I was sent to treat people with affability (mudārāt).”
It was not lost on me that the Mercy of the Universe (peace be upon him) said that just as the Surah came that brought with it pronouncements of war while he highlighted friendliness.
I looked up the entire verse in the Tafseer e Jilani to study its first part. I was curious about everything in it, the soundlessness of voice for starters.
وَٱذْكُر رَّبَّكَ فِى نَفْسِكَ تَضَرُّعًۭا وَخِيفَةًۭ
وَدُونَ ٱلْجَهْرِ مِنَ ٱلْقَوْلِ بِٱلْغُدُوِّ وَٱلْءَاصَالِ
وَلَا تَكُن مِّنَ ٱلْغَفِلِينَ
And remember your Lord in yourself humbly and in fear
and without the loudness of the words in the mornings and in the evenings.
And do not be among the heedless.
Surah Al Araaf, Verse 205
Tafseer e Jilani
Then addressed Allah Subhanahu, Exalted is He, His Habeeb (peace be upon him) because addresses like these were only for his capacity and capability and could only be encompassed by his heart.
So He said…
Wadkur: Remember and remain in certainty…
Rabbaka: of your Lord, O Beloved (peace be upon you), who made you appear in His Form…
Fi nafsika: in your self because you are His Appearance…
Tadarruan wa kheefatan: humbly and in secret, with (your) humility expressed in the softest voice, being fearful of the heedlessness that exists in the world…
Wa doonal jahar e minal qawli: and without raising the sound of your voice, hiding it from those who are veiled and those who are ignorant of your ranks and respecting Allah Subhanahu…
Bil ghuduwi wal aasaal: in all time (from morning till evening) which passes upon you according to your being a human.
Wa: and overall…
La takun min al ghafileen: do not be of the heedless as you are, due to your certainty, on the Station of Divine Witnessing.
In looking up the hadith in Arabic, I had come upon another hadith that was beautiful;
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مُغَفَّلٍ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ
إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Verily, Allah is Gentle and He loves gentleness.”
The only other thing cure I found for what appeared to be everything wrong was surprising: hunger!
[[20:81] Eat of the good things We have provided for you, but do not transgress regarding them…]
كُلُوا۟ مِن طَيِّبَتِ مَا رَزَقْنَكُمْ وَلَا تَطْغَوْا۟ فِيهِ فَيَحِلَّ عَلَيْكُمْ غَضَبِى ۖ
Eat of the good things which We have provided you and do not transgress therein,
lest should descend upon you My Anger.
Surah Taha, Verse 81
Hazrat Sahel (ra) said, “His words, Exalted is He, concerning this are [an admonition] that you should eat from them [the good things provided by God] in order to sustain yourselves, and should not satiate yourselves to the extent that you reach a state of intoxication (sukr) in which you are diverted from the remembrance [of God], for intoxication is forbidden.”
I had heard of intoxication being forbidden for all kinds of substances in arguments between the drinkers of alcohol and smokers of weed my whole life. What was mentioned by word in the Quran and what wasn’t. This was the first time I saw it in the context of food.
And Hazrat Sahel (ra) said: “Whoever forces hunger upon himself, his blood will decrease in proportion to that, and in proportion to how much his blood decreases, evil suggestions (waswasa) will be blocked from entering his heart. If a mad person forced hunger upon himself he would become sane.”
Wow!
The Prophet said, ‘There is not a vessel more detestable to God than a stomach filled with food.’”
Two things stood out dramatically. The blocking of evil suggestions from imposing hunger upon oneself and that the stomach overly filled was detestable to God. I felt deeply grateful I had been granted the ability to fast once a week. Mondays! To celebrate the joyous occasion of Nabi Kareem’s most blessed birth. It never felt hard. The Universe celebrated Mondays. The days I missed were always because of a waswasa exactly at the time of keeping the fast. It always appeared in one word, the same one to prevent the prayer at dawn, “Sleep.”
But I was not about to tell anyone to try hunger to cause calm. People think the exact opposite, that hunger makes them agitated and anxious. Even though Shuggy Aunty has kept fasts for days on end where only water can be sipped at the times of keeping and opening them. Yet she was always smiling and full of energy when I met her in those days. I used to marvel at her and one day she told me, “When you worship in isolation for days you don’t feel it because Allah is your companion and when you fast for days with nothing, He feeds you.”
Meanwhile in the quietness of my room, I chose verses to translate that ended up revealing the glitch in my spiritual journey as related to sincerity. Why it was stubbornly missing for me in relationships and deeds? Why it was absent despite my longing for it, my awareness around it? The find was accidental and it was extraordinary.
The desire for ikhlas to be in my actions and feelings was sincere. The problem was that I wanted it to appear in my behaviour and attitude towards others – ghair Allah – when it was not yet there in my behaviour and attitude towards Him.
The first verse I studied had only caught my attention in a lecture by Uzair because of the words “And I am the first Muslim – the first to surrender.” 123,999 Prophets later, The Messenger (peace be upon him) who completed The Message had said in the Quran what he was commanded by his Lord to say; “Ana awwal ul Muslimeen.”
لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُۥ ۖ
وَبِذَٰلِكَ أُمِرْتُ وَأَنَا۠ أَوَّلُ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ
For Him there is no partner.
And thus I have been commanded, and I am the first one to surrender.”
Surah Al Anam, Verse 163
And thus the Tafseer e Jilani revealed to me that the One-ness of Allah, such that there is no Presence except His, pre-requisites that only He can be entrusted the fate of matters, all of them, and there is no sincerity unless it starts with Him.
La shakreeka lahu: He has no partner who can disagree with Him or be against Him or be His Equal or try to be like Him.
There is no Presence at all except for His.
Wa bi dalika: And because of this fact, there is no one to entrust matters to except Him and there is no sincerity except towards Him.
Umirtu: I was commanded (this entrusting to Him and sincerity towards Him) from His Own Self for only His Tauheed, His One-ness…
Wa ana awwal ul Muslimeen: and I am the first to surrender, I am the first to believe in the Essence of His Tauheed, I am the first reflection of the Essence of His Tauheed and I am the first reflector of the Essence of His Tauheed.
Subhan Allah!
I remarked on the part of the verse that raised a flag for me with Qari Sahib;
Wa bi dalika: And because of this fact, there is no one to entrust matters to except Him and there is no sincerity except towards Him.
“I never would have thought that sincerity could not be found in me because I had not been aware that the root of its existence has to come from my relationship with God. I was always focusing on its presence or absence with other human beings.”
An element of that sincerity was taking form for me in my entrusting matters to Allah Subhanahu since I had read that the entrusting had to be for everything;
Tafseer e Jilani: “And the point is this: don’t connect your affairs to your own selves but entrust over your matters, all of them, to Allah and truly connect them to Him, The Exalted, alone. And don’t rejoice and don’t be saddened but dissolve yourself in Allah and be granted forever-ness so that you gain – فِى مَقْعَدِ صِدْقٍ عِندَ مَلِيكٍۢ مُّقْتَدِرٍۭ - a place of honor near The King Most Powerful.”
Then came the bounty of the second verse of the day honing in on the same point. The conveyance of something to another, ordinary like me, could only be conveyed if there was no rayakari, element of showing off, and only if it was meant to wish others well and hope for perfection for them.
Hence if someone wanted to understand something I was saying, there could be no ulterior motive, no grudge, no expectation of return, no exchange, no showing off. On top of that I had to be gentle, affable, and then I came upon another passage in the Tafseer e Tustari that instructed me that I also had to embody excellence of manners by always being ‘good’ to others.”
[20:44] And speak to him gentle words...
فَقُولَا لَهُۥ قَوْلًۭا لَّيِّنًۭا لَّعَلَّهُۥ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوْ يَخْشَىٰ
And speak to him a word gentle, perhaps he may take heed or fear."
Surah Taha, Verse 44
It was related from Ibn ʿAbbās that he said, ‘Moses , when he visited Pharaoh, would say to him, ‘O Abū Musʿab say: “There is no god except God and I am the Messenger of God”.’
Hazrat Sahl (ra) said: Truly God, Exalted is He, invested Moses with the robe of those who possess refined manners (mutaʾaddibūn), and He removed from him the hastiness of those who impulsively rush in (mutahajjimūn), due to the bounty (faḍl) and empowerment (tamkīn) that he found [from God].
However, He did not will for him [Pharaoh] faith (īmān), for had He willed it, He would have said, ‘So he may believe.’
Rather, God, Mighty and Majestic is He, intended by this [Command] that Moses should show graciousness (mulāṭafa) through the most beautiful discourse and gentlest speech, for this moves the hearts of all people, just as the Prophet said, ‘Hearts have been created with the disposition to love those who are good to them and to hate those who do wrong to them.’
Two things became crystal clear. The hadith was for the ordinary. The extraordinary were good everyone, especially those who mistreated them. The level of difficulty was still sky high. All my actions had shadows of motives, apparent or hidden. They brought with them expectation which when unmet turned to grudge at worst and a deep disappointment at best. My intention always revealed its murkiness to me later. I was in a constant state of showing off in front of my nafs.
A second verse from the same lecture by Uzair brought the point home clearly. This time I was drawn to Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) saying that he was commanded by His Lord to be sincere in the faith, drawn to the verse because of the word he used; mukhlis-an.
قُلْ إِنِّىٓ أُمِرْتُ أَنْ أَعْبُدَ ٱللَّهَ مُخْلِصًۭا لَّهُ ٱلدِّينَ
Say, "Indeed, I, I am commanded that I worship Allah,
being sincere to Him in the religion.
Surah Az Zumar, Verse 11
Tafseer e Jilani
Then said Subhanahu, Exalted is He, commanding His Habeeb (peace be upon him) in order to guide him and to convey to His (other) ordinary worshippers, a thing He said that is specified for wisdom, empty of the desires of the nafs for showing-off (of the self), only and only for wishing well and perfection (for others);
Qul: Say O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (peace be upon you)…
Inni umirtu: Indeed I have been ordered from My Lord…
An a’buda Allaha: that I worship Allah as is His Right to be worshipped and be obedient to Him as His Right to be obeyed…
Mukhlisal lahu deen: bringing sincerity into the religion and offering surrender from myself in such a way that I make both, my obedience and my surrender with sincerity, the means of reaching Him, so that I gain recognition of Him as is His Right to be recognized and He pours upon my heart the purified waters of His Tauheed, One-ness and His Karamat, His Honour.
The obedience was with sincerity, the surrender with sincerity!
In my last piece I wrote about my discovery from the Tafseer e Jilani of the first reason of disobedience. It was jahalat, ignorance. The second as it turns out is lack of patience. The third is kufr, ingratitude and the fourth nafaq, hypocrisy. Allah grants ability to those in which He sees the capacity for faith and qabiliyat, capacity for it. He grants it to those who turn to Him in truth and sincerity.
Again and again, sincerity!
In a class with Qari Sahib, he shed light on what causes hardness for a human being.
“The tongue is harsh because of ingratitude. The heart is hard because of persistence and insistence upon sin. Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) said, “There are seven roads that lead to Medina.” 1400 years later, there are still seven. Not eight, not six. The heart also has seven roads that lead to it; the mouth, the two nostrils, the two eyes, the two ears.”
The number seven, of the facial parts, they reminded me of the Ayaan e Saabita, the Seven Attributes of Allah. The ones we also possess as human beings; Basarat, sight, Sama’at, hearing, Qudrat, Power, Kalam, speech, Hayat, life, Irada, intention and Ilm, Knowledge.
I listened to what he said intently. It was why again and again and over and over, the Quran highlights to be acutely conscious of what is allowed and forbidden. It’s always the first thing everyone ignores because it seems less important than other tenets. At 51, I’m still struggling with little things I am commanded yet cannot bring myself to do. It took me 49 years of my life to go halal. 49 of 51! That’s pretty late in the day for a “seeker.”
But in the last few month, it had become increasingly clear that the deeds of Allah’s Habeeb (peace be upon him), the emulation of those deeds was the only way to everything. It was what made an ordinary love special. It was the means to attain the grand prize; imaan, faith! I searched the word “forbid” in my 100 some verses that I had translated thus far from the Tafseer e Jilani:
Surah At-Taghabun, Verse 16: Wa ati’u: and obey His Commands and stay away from what He forbids and don’t become disobedient from His Orders at all.
The End of Al Araaf: That you do it in a way that the evil prompting of the plotter, Satan, does not come into your heart. Nor the betrayals of the world with their deceit and unfaithfulness. None of this will be achieved by you except with remembrance through Allah’s Book which has advice and information and history. So obey the commands it orders and forbids and reflect on its overt secrets and the unveiling of its wisdom and its hidden secrets.
It is incumbent upon you that if you want to receive true guidance from the Book, you have to join yourself with the ahadith of Rasool Allah (peace be upon him). Because the ahadith are meant to explain it, reveal the secrets and signs in it, and make clear that which is ambiguous in it. The ahadith will give you the security you need to have true belief and secure you from slipping and turning away from guidance. It is the ahadith that which take you, according to your capacity, to the path of One-ness.
Surah Al Araaf, Verse 201: Min Ash-Shaitan tadakkaru: they remind themselves of what they been commanded to do and what is forbidden for them from Allah…Fa idahum: so in the same moment, due to the remembrance of what has been commanded and that which is forbidden…Mubsiroon: they become able to differentiate the placement of the sins and therefore become careful of them and come into the Refuge of Allah from those things that put them into false illusions about Him.
Surah An-Nisa, Verse 59: Atiu’ Allah: You obey Allah by acting upon His Commands and avoiding what He has forbidden.
Sheikh Nurjan: There are 500 ma’moorat, obligations, that Allah ordered us to fulfill, and 800 manhiyyaat, things which are forbidden, that we must leave. How can one count and follow 500 orders and leave 800 forbidden actions?
If you repeat that word alone, “ati`ullah, ati`ullah, ati`ullah,” reminding yourself with it, then Allah Subhan Ta’ala will completely dress you as if you have fulfilled all 500 obligations and left the 800 forbiddens. Allahu Akbar! Then you continue with, “ati`ur-Rasool, obey the Prophet,” and with Allah’s order, Prophet (peace be upon him) will dress you with all his Sunnah, voluntary actions, and in the meaning of Khaatam ar-Rasool, “Seal of Prophets,” as if you have obeyed him from beginning to end!
Surah Ar Rum, Verse 30: La yalamoon: do not know the reality of this religion. And they do not understand its uprightness and its connection with Allah’s One-ness. So it is dutied upon you all, who follow the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), that you accept the faith and are obedient in everything from that Allah commands and that which He forbids you from.
Al Araaf, Verse 157: Ya’monohum bil ma’roof and yanhahum ayn al munkir ya yahillu lahum tayyebaat: (The Prophet (peace be upon him)) who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair, and makes lawful for them the good things, which they forbid upon their own selves…
Surah Tauba, Verse 109: La yahdil qaum ad-dalimeen: He does not guide the people who are of the Zalimeen, the ones who have left acting upon the things which He has ordered and forbidden.
There were too many to include them all.
I spoke to Qari Sahib about it who said, “The root of ingratitude and obstinacy in denying and refusing guidance is pride. For that matter the root of all sin and wrongdoing is pride. There are three things that break that pride; poverty, disease and death. Let us pray that we don’t have to face them in order to be taught the hard way not to be prideful.”
I thought about the last thing he said, how poverty, disease and death were the azaab, the curse of pride. It seemed to be other than death, if one was afflicted with poverty and disease, it was actually being singled out to reform. It was a warning but it wasn’t an abandoning. It wasn’t a curse, it was a call to still come back.
My COVID ended. Life resumed. It was still bitterly cold so I stayed in a lot. Lahore was foggy, The sun remained in hiding. I heard lecture upon lecture by Uzair to kill the time. In one of them he started with a statement I had never heard from him before:
Uzair: “The lecture I am about to give you today will change your life. As it once changed mine.”
Then he recited the verse;
مَنْ عَمِلَ صَلِحًۭا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌۭ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُۥ حَيَوٰةًۭ طَيِّبَةًۭ ۖ
وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ
Whoever does righteous deeds whether male or female while he is a believer, then surely We will give him life, a good life,
and We will pay them their reward for the best of what they used to do.
Surah An-Nahl, Verse 97
“So Allah is saying that for the one who does good deeds and brings imaan, faith, it becomes compulsory upon Him to give that man or woman a new, pure life. Then Allah follows that by saying again that it also becomes incumbent upon Him to give them a reward and here is where it gets interesting. The reward is not for all deeds, it is is for bi ahsana ma kanu ya’maloon – the deed which was the best amongst what they did in their entire lifetime.
This needs to be explained as it is an extremely fine point and a totally new approach to understanding the Quran. Bi ahsana ma kanu ya’maloon means that of all the deeds performed, Allah chooses from them the best deed, then gives the reward for that best deed for all the other deeds as well. Even though they were not of the same standard or even near it.
For instance, if I said my namaz, the dutied prayers, all my life. Then in those prayers was a prayer of love, Namaz e Ishq, however you define it for yourself. Allah is saying here that I, Allah Subhanahu, will not give ajr, reward, to Uzair for all his prayers. If he prayed 200,000 times in his life, I am not giving him the reward for that number of prayers. No. He is saying, of the 200,000 prayers Uzair said in his lifetime, I will pick the one that was the most beautiful utterance from him, that was the best of them and then give all of the 200,000 prayers the reward similar to that one prayer.”
The crowd erupted into “Subhan Allahs” as did I.
“This is the nuanced approach to the Quran that is rare. Now let me show you how the same pattern is being repeated in the verse before.
مَا عِندَكُمْ يَنفَدُ ۖ
وَمَا عِندَ ٱللَّهِ بَاقٍۢ ۗ
وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ صَبَرُوٓا۟ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ
Whatever is with you will be exhausted, and whatever is with Allah will be remaining.
And surely We will reward those who are patient their reward for the best of what they used to do.
Surah An Nahl, Verse 96
“What you have will end and what Allah will have will always remain forever. Then come the same words wa linajziyanna – We will give them reward – except this time it is for sabr, exercising patience and again it is bi ahsana ma kanu ya’maloon, for the best way that deed of patience was performed.
Meaning what? I, Allah, will look at how a person demonstrated the act of patience in a lifetime, as many times as it was exercised by them. So if a person’s child died, if someone lost all their wealth, if someone became separated from a loved one, if someone lost the dignity of their respect before the world, if someone underwent a loss of any kind, and the person showed sabr, patience, for the sake of His Lord, Allah says of the many times they suffered and of the many times they showed patience, if they were patient a 100 times, He will not give them the reward for being patient those 100 times. He will see which of those 100 incidents was the most difficult and which of those times the person showed the best manifestation of patience, bi ahsan, and then give them for the other 99 instances that highest reward as well.”
It was uncanny. The idea that one deed performed with excellence could benefit all deeds, make them all equally excellent. It certainly made me wonder what might be such a deed for me, what prayer, what act of patience. I became inspiration waiting to execute. A week later, I sprained my lower back. Or had a muscle spasm. Or a pinched nerve. I still don’t. That had never happened to me before.
As someone who doesn’t get sick often, Ma Sha Allah, I kept thinking of my reaction to the ailment. Other than just saying Inna lillahe wa inna ilayhi raji’oon – Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him we have to return – which is what I was taught to say if I lost the use of something, all I could wonder about was what would make it “my best act of sabr?” The hardest aspect of it was what I thought about the most, that I learnt from Ghaus Pak (ra); not wanting the difficult to end!
As I continued hearing the lecture, Uzair next cited a verse from Surah Ankabut, a favourite as the names of the Surahs go. The Spider! The verse started and ended in a pattern similar to the above two verses from An Nahl, incidentally The Bee; Those who believed and did good deeds, then first We will hide their sins committed previously, and then linajzzayanhum ahsanu alladi kanu ya’maloon, We reward them according to the best of what they used to do.
وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ لَنُكَفِّرَنَّ عَنْهُمْ سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ
وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَحْسَنَ ٱلَّذِى كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ
As for those who believe and do good deeds,
We will certainly absolve them of their sins,
and reward them according to the best of what they used to do.
Surah Ankabut, Verse 7
“So first Allah will hide the sins once committed and then, in the same pattern as the other verses, the reward will be given for the one deed which will be the best. And all the other deeds will be rewarded according to this best deed.
Now what exactly is the lesson from these verses? It’s not just that Allah is not considering all deeds when it comes to recompense. It is the fact that He is looking at only the best deed when it comes to doling out reward which means that Allah searches for husn – beauty – in our deeds. He searches for it. So do the same with others.
Don’t look at what’s wrong with them or bad in them. Focus on the beauty that exists in every human being for just being a human being. Someone’s wrongdoing doesn’t make their beauty be overshadowed before God. He doesn’t allow it to make their goodness be voided. Allah doesn’t deny that good, He still asserts it despite the wrongful act. Not only does He assert it, He ignores the ugliness and rewards only based on that beauty.”
The words gave me pause. Those people I had been thinking about whose personalities seemed so distorted, unlike who they were for most of their lives. Which in any case seemed to be because of something that induced empathy naturally; they were drowning in loneliness. How easy it was to forget what someone was really like because of single a moment when they were the opposite of that. How fickle could be love and attachment, loyalty and understanding between human beings who spent lifetimes together.
I thought of the verse in the video I had just made in which there were no friends except three; Allah, Huzoor Pak (peace be upon him) and Maula Ali (as).
إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ
وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَهُمْ رَاكِعُونَ
Only are your true helpers Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him)
and those who have attained to faith,
the ones who are firmly immersed in their prayers,
who give the dutied charity that purifies,
while they bow in worship.
Surah Al Maidah, Verse 55
Search for the beauty, Uzair was saying, and if you don’t see it, remember it as it was once there for you were a witness to it for years.
The lecture continued. “And it is not even about this being Allah’s Sunnah with Muslims. Even the infidels, the Mushrikeen, if they gain imaan, Allah says He will hide their sins and only bring their best deeds before them. So what does that mean for us in our daily lives? Every relationship has positives and negatives. Allah is saying by giving His Own Example, bring forth the best aspect of the person and retain that as your association with them.
إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ
و۟لَٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ نَتَقَبَّلُ عَنْهُمْ أَحْسَنَ مَا عَمِلُوا۟ وَنَتَجَاوَزُ عَن سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ فِىٓ أَصْحَبِ ٱلْجَنَّةِ ۖ
I sincerely repented and I am of those who submit to You.
Those are the ones We will accept from them the best of what they did and We will overlook from their evil deeds, among the companions of Paradise.
Surah Al Ahqaf, Verse 16
Tafseer e Jilani
Inni tubtu: Indeed I repent and return…
Ilayka: to You from everything that could not please You from my deeds because You are Aware of all my states better than me…
Wa inni: and indeed I…
Min al Muslimeen: become of those who submit to You, O my Lord, of those who surrender to You and become obedient to Your Command, entrusting their matters, all of them, to You, because there is no purpose in our hearts except Your Essence and there is no returning except to You.
The last line gave me pause. The kalam for the video was Man Kunto Maula by Hazrat Amir Khusrau (ra). Since it has been recited a million times I wasn’t sure how ours could be different. But that relied on Ustad Sahib’s skill and he made it unique. The jewel of the video for me, however, was the appearances of two lines of the kalam that have hardly ever been translated before. The direct address to God.
The first was in Farsi:
در آ دل در آ دل در آ دانی
Come inside my heart,
come inside my heart,
come into this place You know.
What Ghaus Pak (ra) was saying in the exegesis of the words Min al Muslimeen – there is no purpose in our hearts except Your Essence – it was resonating with the kalam.
Tafseer e Jilani of Surah Ahqaf, Verse 16 cont’d:
Ulaika: Those are the fortunate ones who are enthusiastic about expressing gratitude for Allah’s Blessings and are fulfilling the rights of parents and maintaining excellent manners with them and doing more for them than was obligated. They are the ones…
Alladina nattaqabbalu anhum: from whom We accept in the best form…
Ahsana ma aamilo: the best of what they did, being the most sincere when they did it, seeking the Pleasure of Allah, avoiding His Displeasure…
Wa natajawazu: and We overlook…
An sayyatihim: from their sins after they repented and returned towards Him being repentant, and they are…
Fi ashab al Jannah: among the dwellers of Paradise and will be in their company, in peace and in success without fear and they will not feel grief as the fulfillment of what Allah promised them.
Continued at: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51871537551/in/datepos...
Al-Ikhlas
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Al-Ikhlas (Arabic: سورة الإخلاص) (The Fidelity), aka At-tawhid (سورة التوحيد) (Monotheism) is the 112th Sura of the Qur'an. It is a short declaration of tawhid, God's absolute unity, consisting of 4 ayat. Al-Ikhlas means "the purity" or "the refining", meaning to remain pure and faithful or a state of purging one's soul of non-Islamic beliefs, such as paganism and polytheism.
It is disputed whether this is a Makkan or Madinan sura. The former seems more probable, particularly since it seems to be have been alluded to by Bilal, who, when he was being tortured by his cruel master, is said to have repeated "Ahad, Ahad!" (unique, referring as here to Allah). It is reported from Ubayy ibn Ka'b that it was revealed after the polytheists asked "O Muhammad! Tell us the lineage of your Lord."
Contents [hide]
1 Translation of the sura
2 Summary
3 Ahadith about al-Ikhlas
4 Listen to Al-Ikhlas
5 References
6 External links
Translation of the sura
The translation of this Surah defines the charactaristics of Allah.
"Say 'He is Allah, The One and Only. Allah. the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; And there is none like unto Him.'"[1]
[edit] Summary
This sura establishes the Oneness of the Creator: the doctrine of Tawhid. It says that God is without equal, without origin, without end, and unlike anything else that exists. The fourth line, "Nothing is like Him", is a fundamental statement of tanzih; God as the incomparable.
This sura was inscribed on the Dome of the Rock at Jerusalem by Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan.
[edit] Ahadith about al-Ikhlas
According to the ahadith, this sura is an especially important and honored part of the Quran:
Imam Malik bin Anas has said that `Ubayd bin Hunayn heard Abu Hurayrah speaking:
"I was walking with the Prophet and we heard a man reciting "Say: He, Allah, is One" The Allah's Apostle said: "It is inevitable" I asked "what?": He responded: "Paradise."
Abu Said has narrated that he heard the Prophet saying:
"Isn't every one of you able to recite one third of the Quran during a night?" They thought it was very difficult, so they asked: "Who is able to do that, O Apostle of Allah?" He responded: "He is Allah, the One and Only is one third of the Qur'an."
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Memahami Cinta Allah dan Karena Allah
Ibadah itu tidak hanya shalat, puasa, zakat, haji, sedekah, berdzikir, dan lainnya dari ibadah-ibadah anggota badan (lisan dan perbuatan). Di sana masih ada ibadah lain bahkan ibadah yang paling agung yang disebut ibadah qalbiyyah (yang berhubungan dengan hati) seperti sabar, tawakkal, ikhlas, cinta, dan lain-lain. Cinta termasuk ibadah paling agung karena termasuk satu dari tiga pilar ibadah (cinta, takut, dan berharap). Ibadah seseorang kepada Allah tidak akan sempurna dan tidak akan diterima hingga terpenuhi tiga pilar ini. Di sini akan dijelaskan secara ringkas satu pilar ibadah yang agung ini, cinta.
Cinta yang benar itu ada dua, yaitu [1] mencintai Allah dan ini poros cinta di mana semua cinta kembali kepada cinta ini, [2] mencintai apa saja yang dicintai Allah. Oleh karena itu, kita mencintai Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, para shahabat, dan orang-orang shalih karena Allah mencintai mereka dan Allah pun memerintahkan demikian.
Untuk itu Allah menjadikan mencintai saudaranya sesama muslim karena-Nya termasuk satu dari tiga penyempurna keimanan dimana orang tersebut akan merasakan lezatnya iman, sebagaimana kabar dari Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam:
«ثَلاَثٌ مَنْ كُنَّ فِيهِ وَجَدَ حَلاَوَةَ الإِيمَانِ: أَنْ يَكُونَ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِ مِمَّا سِوَاهُمَا، وَأَنْ يُحِبَّ المَرْءَ لاَ يُحِبُّهُ إِلَّا لِلَّهِ، وَأَنْ يَكْرَهَ أَنْ يَعُودَ فِي الكُفْرِ كَمَا يَكْرَهُ أَنْ يُقْذَفَ فِي النَّارِ»
“Tiga perkara yang barangsiapa itu terdapat pada dirinya, maka dia akan merasakan lezatnya iman, yaitu: [1] Allah dan Rasul-Nya lebih ia cintai daripada selain keduanya, [2] mencintai saudaranya karena Allah semata, [3] membenci kembali kepada kekufuran sebagaimana benci jika dilemparkan ke dalam api.” [Muttafaqun ‘Alaih: HR. Al-Bukhari (no. 16, I/12) dan Muslim (no. 43) dari Anas bin Malik radhiyallahu ‘anhu]
«لاَ يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ»
“Tidaklah (sempurna) keimanan salah seorang di antara kalian hingga dia mencintai untuk saudaranya apa yang dia cintai untuk dirinya sendiri.” [Muttafaqun ‘Alaih: HR. Al-Bukhari (no. 13, I/12) dan Muslim (no. 45) dari Anas bin Malik radhiyallahu ‘anhu]
Dalam dua hadits ini, Allah mengaitkan kesempurnaan iman dengan mencintai sesama muslim karena mereka mencintai Allah.
Al-Hafizh Ibnu Rajab (w. 795 H) menjelaskan, “Imam memiliki kelezatan dan aroma yang dirasakan hati sebagaimana makanan dan minuman memiliki lelezatan dan aroma yang dirasakan mulut, karena imam nutrisi dan penguat hati sebagaimana makanan dan minuman nutrisi dan penguat badan. Tatkala badan tidak bisa merasakan lezatnya dan enaknya makanan dan minuman kecuali saat sehat, begitu pula saat sakit ia tidak bisa merasakan lezatnya makanan, bahkan terkadang merasakan lezatnya makananan yang membahanyakannya dan tidak lezat karena dikalahkan oleh sakitnya. Oleh karena itu, hati merasakan lezatnya iman tergantung sakit dan sehatnya. Jika hatinya sehat dari penyakit hawa nafsu yang menyesatkan dan syahwat yang diharamkan maka dia akan merasakan lezatnya iman seketika itu juga, tetapi jika hatinya sakit tidak akan merasakan lezatnya iman, bahkan merasakan nikmat hawa nafsu dan maksiat yang membinasakannya.” [Fathul Bârî (I/50) oleh Ibnu Rajab]
Al-Hafizh al-Iman an-Nawani (w. 676 H) menjelaskan, “Cinta karena Allah merupakan buah mencintai Allah. Sebagian ulama mengatakan, ‘Cinta adalah kecocokan hati kepada apa yang dicintai Allah, sehingga dia mencinta apa yang dicintai-Nya dan membenci apa yang dibenci-Nya.’” [Al-Minhâj Syarhu Shahîh Muslim bin Hajjâj (II/14) oleh an-Nawawi]
Dalam hadits ke-2, terdapat isyarat agar kita tidak dengki dengan kenikmatan yang Allah berikan kepada saudara kita disertai menyukai pemberian Allah kepadanya sebagaimana kita menyukai hal tersebut bila diberikan kepada kita, jika tidak maka tidak sempurna iman kita. Intinya, kita menyukai semua kebaikan yang dimiliki saudara kita dan diinginkannya? Imam Qatadah menjelaskan definisi kebaikan:
وَالْخَيْرُ كَلِمَةٌ جَامِعَةٌ تَعُمُّ الطَّاعَاتِ وَالْمُبَاحَاتِ الدُّنْيَوِيَّةَ وَالْأُخْرَوِيَّةَ
“Kebaikan adalah ungkapan umum yang mencakup semua jenis ketaatan dan perkara-perkara mubah dunia dan akhirat.” [Fathul Bârî (I/57) oleh Ibnu Hajar]
Al-Hafizh Ibnu Hajar (w. 852 H) menjelaskan, “Abu az-Zinad bin Siraj menjelaskan bahwa hadits ini menuntut persamaan, dan pada hakikatnya mengharuskan lebih diutamakan karena masing-masing orang lebih suka diutamakan dari selainnya.” [Fathul Bârî (I/58) oleh Ibnu Hajar]
Dianjurkan orang yang mencintai saudaranya melakukan dua hal, yaitu memberitahukannya dan mengucapkan salam. Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda:
«إِذَا أَحَبَّ الرَّجُلُ أَخَاهُ فَلْيُخْبِرْهُ أَنَّهُ يُحِبُّهُ»
“Jika seseorang mencintai saudaranya (sesama muslim), maka hendaklah ia memberitahunya bahwa ia mencintainya.” [Shahih: HR. Abu Dawud (no. 5124, IV/332) dan at-Tirmidzi (no. 2392) dari al-Miqdam bin Ma’di Karib radhiyallahu ‘anhu. Dinilai shahih al-Albani dan Syu’aib al-Arna`uth]
Anas bin Malik radhiyallahu ‘anhu bercerita:
أَنَّ رَجُلًا كَانَ عِنْدَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَمَرَّ بِهِ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، إِنِّي لَأُحِبُّ هَذَا، فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «أَعْلَمْتَهُ؟» قَالَ: لَا، قَالَ: «أَعْلِمْهُ» قَالَ: فَلَحِقَهُ، فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أُحِبُّكَ فِي اللَّهِ، فَقَالَ: أَحَبَّكَ الَّذِي أَحْبَبْتَنِي لَهُ
“Seorang lelaki berada di sisi Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, kemudian seorang lelaki lain lewat, lalu ia berkata, ‘Wahai Rasulullah, sesungguhnya aku mencintai orang ini.’ Maka, Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bertanya, ‘Apakah kamu telah memberitahukannya?’ Ia menjawab, ‘Belum,’ lalu beliau bersabda, ‘Beritahukanlah kepadanya.’ Maka orang itu mengejarnya, seraya berkata, ‘Aku mencintaimu karena Allah.’ Orang itu menjawab, ‘Semoga engkau dicintai Dzat yang engkau mencintaiku karenanya.’ [Hasan: HR. Abu Dawud (no. 5125, IV/333), Ahmad (no. 12430), dan Ibnu Hibban (no. 571). Dinilai hasan al-Albani juga shahih dalam as-Shahîhah (no. 3253) dan hasan lighairih oleh Syu’aib al-Arna`uth]
«لَا تَدْخُلُونَ الْجَنَّةَ حَتَّى تُؤْمِنُوا، وَلَا تُؤْمِنُوا حَتَّى تَحَابُّوا، أَوَلَا أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى شَيْءٍ إِذَا فَعَلْتُمُوهُ تَحَابَبْتُمْ؟ أَفْشُوا السَّلَامَ بَيْنَكُمْ»
“Kalian tidak akan masuk surga sehingga kalian beriman dan kalian tidak (sempurna) beriman hingga kalian saling mencintai. Maukah aku tunjukkan kepadamu sesuatu yang apabila kalian melakukannya maka kalian akan saling mencintai? Yaitu, sebarkanlah salam di antara kalian.” [HR. Muslim (no. 54, I/74), at-Tirmidzi (no. 2688), Abu Dawud (no. 5193), dan Ibnu Majah (no. 68) dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu]
Dalam hadits ini jelas sekali bahwa Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam mengkaitkan antara masuk surga dengan mencintai saudaranya karena Allah. Inilah balasan bagi mereka. Sebelum masuk surga, mereka yang saling mencintai ini akan Allah muliakan dalam nauangan-Nya di hari sangat panas di padang Mahsyar. Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda:
«إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَقُولُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ: أَيْنَ الْمُتَحَابُّونَ بِجَلَالِي، الْيَوْمَ أُظِلُّهُمْ فِي ظِلِّي يَوْمَ لَا ظِلَّ إِلَّا ظِلِّي»
“Sesungguhnya Allah berfirman pada hari Kiamat, ‘Di manakah orang-orang yang (sewaktu di dunia) saling mencintai karena keagungan-Ku? Para hari ini, Aku akan menaungi mereka di dalam naungan-Ku pada hari tidak ada naungan selain naungan–Ku.’” [HR. Muslim (no. 2566, IV/1988), Ahmad (no. 7231), dan Ibnu Hibban (no. 574) dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu]
Ini di antara hal yang menyebabkan para nabi dan para syuhada iri (ghibthah) kepada mereka. Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam mengabarkan:
«إِنَّ مِنْ عِبَادِ اللَّهِ لَأُنَاسًا مَا هُمْ بِأَنْبِيَاءَ، وَلَا شُهَدَاءَ يَغْبِطُهُمُ الْأَنْبِيَاءُ وَالشُّهَدَاءُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ، بِمَكَانِهِمْ مِنَ اللَّهِ تَعَالَى» قَالُوا: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، تُخْبِرُنَا مَنْ هُمْ، قَالَ: «هُمْ قَوْمٌ تَحَابُّوا بِرُوحِ اللَّهِ عَلَى غَيْرِ أَرْحَامٍ بَيْنَهُمْ، وَلَا أَمْوَالٍ يَتَعَاطَوْنَهَا، فَوَاللَّهِ إِنَّ وُجُوهَهُمْ لَنُورٌ، وَإِنَّهُمْ عَلَى نُورٍ لَا يَخَافُونَ إِذَا خَافَ النَّاسُ، وَلَا يَحْزَنُونَ إِذَا حَزِنَ النَّاسُ» وَقَرَأَ هَذِهِ الْآيَةَ: «أَلَا إِنَّ أَوْلِيَاءَ اللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ»
“Sesungguhnya di antara hamba-hamba Allah ada yang bukan para nabi dan bukan pula para syahid. Akan tetapi, pada Hari Kiamat para nabi dan para syahid iri terhadap mereka lantaran posisi mereka di sisi Allah.” Para shahabat bertanya, “Wahai Rasulullah, beritahu kami, siapakah mereka?” Beliau menjawab, “Mereka adalah orang-orang yang saling mencintai karena Allah padahal tidak ada ikatan kekerabatan di antara mereka dan bukan karena harta benda yang mereka gunakan. Demi Allah, wajah-wajah mereka bercahaya dan mereka berada di atas cahaya, mereka tidak takut saat orang-orang takut dan tidak sedih saat orang-orang sedih.” Kemudian, beliau membaca ayat, “Ketahuilah sesungguhnya wali-wali Allah itu, tidak ada kekhawatiran terhadap mereka dan tidak (pula) mereka bersedih hati.” (QS. Yunus [10]: 62) [Shahih: HR. Abu Dawud (no. 3527, III/288) dan al-Baihaqi (no. 8585) dalam Syu’abul Imân dari ‘Umar bin al-Khaththab radhiyallahu ‘anhu. Dinilai shahih al-Albani]
Sekarang, kita akan menyimak kisah dari Nabi Muhammad shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam tentang seseorang yang berkunjung ke rumah saudaranya karena Allah dan jawaban cinta Allah padanya karena hal itu. Beliau shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam menceritakan:
«أَنَّ رَجُلًا زَارَ أَخًا لَهُ فِي قَرْيَةٍ أُخْرَى، فَأَرْصَدَ اللهُ لَهُ عَلَى مَدْرَجَتِهِ مَلَكًا، فَلَمَّا أَتَى عَلَيْهِ، قَالَ: أَيْنَ تُرِيدُ؟ قَالَ: أُرِيدُ أَخًا لِي فِي هَذِهِ الْقَرْيَةِ، قَالَ: هَلْ لَكَ عَلَيْهِ مِنْ نِعْمَةٍ تَرُبُّهَا؟ قَالَ: لَا، غَيْرَ أَنِّي أَحْبَبْتُهُ فِي اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ، قَالَ: فَإِنِّي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ إِلَيْكَ، بِأَنَّ اللَّهَ قَدْ أَحَبَّكَ كَمَا أَحْبَبْتَهُ فِيهِ»
“Seorang lelaki menjenguk saudaranya di suatu desa. Kemudian, Allah mengutus seorang malaikat untuk menemuinya. Tatkala malaikat itu telah menemuinya, ia berkata, ‘Hendak ke mana engkau?’ Dia menjawab, ‘Aku hendak menjenguk saudaraku yang ada di desa ini.’ Malaikat itu bertanya lagi, ‘Apakah engkau mempunyai keperluan yang menguntungkanmu darinya?’ Dia menjawab, ‘Tidak ada. Hanya saja aku mencintainya karena Allah.’ Malaikat itu berkata, ‘Aku adalah utusan Allah untuk mengabarkan kepadamu bahwa Allah mencintaimu sebagaimana engkau mencintai saudaramu itu karena-Nya.’” [HR. Muslim (no. 2567, IV/1988), Ahmad (no. 7919), dan Ibnu Hibban (no. 572) dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu]
Al-Imam an-Nawawi (w. 676 H) menjelaskan, “Dalam hadits ini terdapat keutamaan cinta karena Allah ta’ala dan merupakan sebab Allah mencintai hamba-Nya. Di dalamnya juga terdapat keutamaan mengunjungi orang-orang shalih dan teman karib, juga anak Adam bisa melihat malaikat.” [Al-Minhâj (XVI/124) oleh an-Nawawi]
Inilah rahasia mencintai karena Allah sehingga Allah menjadikannya satu dari tiga penyempurna keimanan dan kelezatannya. Dari hadits ini, Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam mengabarkan bahwa mencintai karena Allah bisa mendatangkan cinta Allah kepadanya. Barangsiapa yang dicintai Allah, tidak ada balasan dari orang yang dicintai-Nya melainkan Surga.
Sebenarnya, orang yang mencintai karena Allah sehingga dia berusaha tidak hasad, berusaha menyukai kenikmatan yang ada pada saudaranya, dan berusaha bersedih atas kesedihan saudaranya yang amat berat dilaksanakan, pada hakikatnya semua manfaatnya kembali kepada dirinya sendiri. Karena siapa yang dicintai Allah, berarti di akhirat masuk surga dan di dunia akan diperhatikan-Nya serta dicintai seluruh makhluk penduduk langit dan bumi. Simaklah sabda Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam berikut:
«إِذَا أَحَبَّ اللَّهُ العَبْدَ نَادَى جِبْرِيلَ: إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ فُلاَنًا فَأَحْبِبْهُ، فَيُحِبُّهُ جِبْرِيلُ، فَيُنَادِي جِبْرِيلُ فِي أَهْلِ السَّمَاءِ: إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ فُلاَنًا فَأَحِبُّوهُ، فَيُحِبُّهُ أَهْلُ السَّمَاءِ، ثُمَّ يُوضَعُ لَهُ القَبُولُ فِي الأَرْضِ»
“Apabila Allah mencintai seorang hamba, maka Dia akan menyeru Jibril, ‘Sesunggunya Allah mencintai fulan, maka cintailah dia.’ Maka, Jibril pun mencintai orang tersebut, lalu Jibril menyeru kepada penghuni langit, ‘Sesungguhnya, Allah mencintai fulan, maka cintailah fulan.’ Maka, penduduk langit pun mencintainya, kemudian ditetapkan baginya penerimaan di hati penduduk bumi.” [Muttafaqun ‘Alaih: HR. Al-Bukhari (no. 3209, IV/111) dan Muslim (no. 2637) dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu][AZ]
Tata Cara Nazar – “jika anak saya lulus ujian, saya akan sedekah ke masjid Rp10.000.000” atau “jika saya diterima di perusahaan tersebut, saya bernadzar untuk umroh bersama Rabbanitour di tahun 2017 besok” itu sebagian contoh nazar. Dengan contoh tersebut nazar berarti mewajibkan pada diri sendiri dengan suatu perkara yg sebenarnya tidak wajib. Berikut akan dijelaskan dalam artikel ini hukum dan bagaimana Tata Cara Nazar.
Berikut Dalil-dalil yang Menunjukkan Terlarangnya Bernazar
Berikut Hadits dari Ibnu Umar dan Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhuma.
[caption id="attachment_7461" align="aligncenter" width="407"] Tata Cara Nazar[/caption]
Dari penjelasan hadits di atas bahwa nazar itu terlarang. Demikian pendapat jumhur ulama yg memakruhkan bernazar. Akan tetapi jika memang sudah terlanjur diucapka, maka nazar tersebut akan menjadi wajib untuk ditunaikan.
Berikut dalil-dalil yang Menunjukkan Wajibnya Menunaikan Nazar
Firman Alloh SWT dalam surat Al-Hajj: 29, Al-Baqarah:270 dan Al-insan:5-7.
[caption id="attachment_7462" align="aligncenter" width="405"] Tata Cara Nazar[/caption]
Kemudian hadits dari Aisyah dan ‘Imron bin Hushoin radhiyallahu ‘anhuma.
[caption id="attachment_7463" align="aligncenter" width="406"] Tata Cara Nazar[/caption]
Dari penjelasan ayat & hadits di atas, kebanyakan ulama Malikiyah & sebagian ulama Syafi’iyah – seperti imam nawawi & al Ghozali – berpendapat bahwa hukum nazar adalah Sunnah. Dengan demikian nazar itu ada dua macam:
Nazar Mu’allaq, nazar untuk memperoleh manfaat. Nazar ini bersyarat, yaitu jika permintaannya terkabul, barulah ia akan melaksanakan ketaatan. Contoh nazarnya, “jika Alloh menyembuhkan saya dari sakit ini, maka saya akan bersedekah sebesar Rp10.000.000.”
Nazar Muthlaq, nazar tidak menyebutkan syarat. berikut contohnya “aku ikhlas karena Alloh mewajibkan pada diri akan bersedekah ke masjid sebesar Rp10.000.000.”
Sehingga hadits-hadits yg menjelaskan larangan bernazar dimaksudkan untuk nazar Mu’allaq. Karena nazar tersebut dilakukan tidak ikhlas untuk Alloh, tujuannya hanya agar orang yg bernazar mendapatkan manfaat. Contoh orang yg bernazar dengan syarat menjelaskan bahwa orang tersebut hanya akan bersedekah jika penyakitnya sembuh. Jika penyakitnya tidak kunjung sembuh, maka ia tidak akan bersedekah. Itulah mengapa dalam penjelasan hadits orang bernazar itu orang yg pelit (bakhil).
Kenapa ada larangan bernazar? Agar seseorang tidak menyangka bahwa dengan bernazar sesuatu dapat terwujud, atau jangan disangka bahwa Alloh pasti akan penuhi maksud nazar karena nazar taat yg dilakukan. Berikut hadits yg menjelaskan bahwa nazar sama sekali tidak menolak apa yg Alloh takdirkan. Dari Ibnu ‘Umar disebutkan:
[caption id="attachment_7464" align="aligncenter" width="404"] Tata Cara Nazar[/caption]
Tata Cara Nazar – Macam Nazar dan Hukumnya
Macam disini dilihat dari hal yg dinazari (al-mandzur) dibagi menjadi 2 macam:
Nazar Taat
Hukum menunaikannya adalah wajib, baik nazar Mu’allaq juga nazar muthlaq. Berikut dalil yg menunjukan wajibnya:
[caption id="attachment_7465" align="aligncenter" width="401"] Tata Cara Nazar[/caption]
Apabila seseorang bernazar taat,nNamun jika ia tidak dapat menunaikannya, maka nazar tersebut tidak menjadi wajib dan sebagai gantinya ia harus menunaikan kafaroh sumpah. Berikut kafaroh sumpahnya:
Memberi makan kepada 10 orang miskin, atau
Memberi pakaian kepada 10 orang miskin, atau
Memerdekakan 1 orang hamba sahaya (budak)
Jika ia tetap tidak mampu untuk ketiga hal di atas, barulah menunaikan pilihan untuk berpuasa selama 3 hari. Lihat penjelasan surat al-Maidah: 89
Nazar yg Bukan Bentuk Taat
Nazar ini terbagi 2 macam:
Nazar Mubah
Contohnya: “jika saya lulus ujian, saya akan lari 100 keliling lapangan sepak bola” nazar seperti itu bukanlah nazar taat, namun nazar mubah. Tidaklah wajib untuk ditunaikan.
Nazar Maksiat
Contohnya: “jika saya lulus ujian, saya akan mabuk-mabukan bersama teman-teman” nazar seperti ini wajib untuk tidak ditunaikan, berdasarkan hadits berikut:
[caption id="attachment_7466" align="aligncenter" width="405"] Tata Cara Nazar[/caption]
Demikian penjelasan singkat mengenai Tata Cara Nazar semoga bermanfaat. Jangan lewatkan juga artikel Rabbanitour lainnya mengenai Tata Cara Melempar Jumrah, Tata Cara Zakat Mal.
Tulusnya cinta, meski tak lagi bersama, kadang rasa benci hadir dalam
dada, kamu tetap tak pernah melewatkan seharipun tanpa merindukannya.
Ketika kamu mencintai, jujurlah pada diri. Jadi diri sendiri, jangan
biarkan mereka jatuh cinta pada seseorang yg bukan dirimu.
Banyak wanita jatuh cinta pada pria yg salah, hanya karena wanita
mudah percaya apa yg dikatakan pria tersebut adalah hal yg benar.
Cinta tak hanya sekedar kata. Cinta harus ditunjukkan dalam tindakan
nyata, karena cinta butuh sesuatu yang bisa dipercaya.
Jangan menuntut ingin dicintai apa adanya jika kamu masih memberi
syarat kepada seseorang yang mencintaimu.
Cinta mampu menerima kekurangan. Dan cinta ada untuk saling melengkapi
kekurangan.
Bukan hanya bahagia dan tawa, tapi derita dan air mata juga bagian dari cinta.
Terkadang kamu tahu bahwa kamu mampu menghindar rasa sakit, namun kamu
juga sadar bahwa cintamu lebih berarti dari rasa sakit.
Tak ada yang lebih kuat dari cinta sejati. Kamu harus percaya untuk
saling memahami, dan kamu harus memahami untuk saling percaya.
Cinta kasih adalah perasaan hati, yang harus diungkapkan dengan hati,
bukan hanya dengan rayuan atau pujian.
Ketika kamu mencintai seseorang, berusahalah cintai kekurangannya,
bukan hanya mengubahnya seperti yang kamu mau.
Kadang tak peduli seberapa sakit seseorang melukaimu, kamu tetap
bertahan, karena akan lebih menyakitkan jika kamu kehilangannya.
Cinta adalah sesuatu yg sulit dikendalikan. Kadang ketika kamu
berpura-pura tuk tak peduli, akan membuatmu lebih merindukannya.
Jangan pernah berdusta pada dia yg kamu cinta. Kejujuran mungkin
menyakitkan, tapi kebohongan menghancurkan segala.
Ketika dua hati saling tulus mencinta, mereka akan selalu temukan cara
tuk tetap bertahan, tak peduli betapa sulitnya tuk terus bersama.
Terkadang, meski tahu bahwa kamu bisa hidup tanpa dia yg kamu cinta,
kamu terus meyakinkan dirimu bahwa kamu tak menginginkan hal itu.
Cintai dirimu. Itu cara menghargai diri sendiri. Jng mengasihani
dirimu. Itu cara meremehkan diri sendiri.
Ketika cinta akan tiba, tak ada yang bisa menduga. Ketika hendak cinta
pergi, mungkin tak bisa ditunda lagi. Sahabat atau cinta? Sama saja.
Jangan berharap mendapat cinta sejati jika hanya berdiam diri. Yang
terbaik didapat bukan tanpa sengaja, tapi didapat dengan usaha dan
doa.
Cinta tak datang dari tatapan mata, namun dari permintaan hati. Karena
cinta dari hati, yang tak sempurna akan jadi sempurna.
Jgn berkata kau mencintai seseorg jika kau tdk pernah menangis,
berdoa, & berjuang utkmenjadikannya bagian dr hiidupmu.
Ketika kamu merasa orang-orang membencimu tanpa alasan yg jelas,
ingatlah, Tuhan mencintaimu tanpa syarat!
Dalam cinta, kamu bisa berpura-pura tak peduli, tapi sebenarnya kamu
tahu, hal sekecil apapun yang dia lakukan terkadang bisa menyakiti.
Dalam cinta, kamu mungkin mencintai yg salah, menangis tuk alasan yg
salah, tapi semua itu membantumu menemukan dia yg tepat!
Cinta tak pernah mensyaratkan kesempurnaan. Karena cinta adalah
menerima, memahami, dan rela berkorban demi kebahagiaan bersama.
Cinta bisa membuat bahagia, cinta juga bisa membuatmu terluka. Maka
jika kamu ingin bermain cinta, kamu harus siap untuk menerima
keduanya.
Jangan takut mencinta hanya karena kamu pernah terluka. Rasa sakit
membantumu dewasa. Maafkan, pelajari, dan kembali melangkah.
Terkadang kamu memilih tuk sendiri, karena tak kamu temukan seseorang
yg mampu mencintaimu sebaik kamu mencintai dirimu sendiri.
Jika seseorang mampu memberi alasan mengapa dia mencintaimu, dia tak
mencintaimu, dia menyukaimu. Cinta itu emosi, bukan definisi.
Dia yg tulus mencintaimu takkan berjalan di depanmu, atau tertinggal
di belakangmu. Dia akan selalu berjalan di sampingmu.
Mereka yg mencintaimu slalu ingin yg terbaik untukmu, hanya saja cara
mereka bukan slalu yg terbaik.
Dalam cinta, tak perlu dia yg berkata bersedia MATI untukmu, karena yg
kamu butuh dia yg bersedia HIDUP bersama denganmu ^^
Kau selalu bs mempercayai tanpa hrs mencintai, tp kau tdk akan prnh bs
mencintai tanpamempercayai.
Cinta memberimu alasan tuk tersenyum, momen indah tuk ditertawakan,
tapi cinta jg memberimu kenangan yg tak pernah bisa dilupakan.
Hanya karena kamu tahu dia mencintaimu, tak berarti kamu harus
berusaha mencintainya. Jujurlah drpd akhirnya seseorang akan terluka.
"Ketika kekuatan akan cinta melebihi kecintaan akan kekuasaan, maka
dunia pun menemukan kedamaian".
"Jika Anda bisa membuat orang lain tertawa, maka Anda akan mendapatkan
semua cintayang Anda inginkan".
Pengetahuan ditingkatkan dgn belajar; kepercayaan dgn perdebatan;
keahlian dgn latihan & cinta dgn kasih sayang.
Kawan sejati ialah orang yg mencintaimu meskipun telah mengenalmu
dengan sebenar-benarnya ia itu baik dan burukmu.
Berapa Besar ukuran CINTA? Sebesar PERJUANGAN kita untk MEMPERTAHANKAN nya.
Dalam cinta, terkadang kamu harus belajar tuk melupakan apa yg kamu
rasakan dan mulai menemukan apa yg pantas kamu dapatkan.
Kata-Kata Motivasi Kehidupan
Cerita hidupmu sangat menyedihkan? Itu belum sampai pada ending ceritanya.
Kejujuran sesungguhnya bukan terletak di mulut tetapi di hatimu. Cukup
rasakan dan ikuti, maka kebahagiaan disana akan menanti.
Yang menyakitkan dari sebuah perpisahan adalah proses menjadikan
sesuatu yang sudah biasa menjadi tidak biasa.
Setiap orang punya masalah yang berbeda. Jangan membandingkan masalah
kamu dengan yang lain, lebih baik segera selesaikan masalahmu!
Kemampuanmu mengendalikan perasaan sangatlah penting. Jangan terlalu
memanjakan perasaan, terlebih dalam urusan pekerjaan.
Apapun yang kamu beri untuk membantu yang membutuhkan, tak akan
hilang. Semua pasti dicatat oleh Tuhan, dan untukmu telah disiapkan
balasan.
Menyenangkan memiliki seorang sahabat yg tahu segalanya tentangmu,
bukan karena kamu terus mengingatkannya, tapi karena dia peduli
padamu.
Jika Tuhan berkehendak, apapun menjadi mungkin. Untuk itu mintalah
pada Tuhan, dan jangan mengemis pada manusia.
Mengucapkan Selamat Tinggal" adalah cara paling menyakitkan untuk
memecahkan sebuah masalah."
Impian harus terus dikejar meski harus bersusah payah. Kamu tak akan
mendapatkan apapun jika kamu terus berdiam diri.
Tak ada yg bisa mengendalikanmu. Semua tergantung dirimu sendiri.
Orang lain hanya bisa mempengaruhi saja.
Jangan pernah melupakan Tuhan dalam setiap langkahmu, karena Tuhan tak
akan pernah mengabaikanmu meski mungkin kamu sering melupakanNya.
Jangan biarkan keraguan menghalangi langkahmu dalam upaya mewujudkan
mimpi. Kebahagiaan tak akan kamu dapatkan jika kamu ragu.
khlas jalani hari ini, serahkan hal-hal yg berada diluar kemampuanmu
pada Tuhan, dan yakinlah bahwa yg kamu dapatkan adalah yg terbaik.
Ibu, adalah teman terbaik yang akan selalu melengkapi. Tak akan ada
yang bisa menggantikan ibu di hati. I ? MOM.
Tak baik untuk berputus asa pada hal yg tepat, tp lbh buruk ketika km
tak pernah berputus asa pada hal yg salah.
Sahabat adalah mereka yg menggenggam tanganmu ketika kamu kesulitan,
tapi tahu kapan melepasmu berjuang sendiri tuk belajar dewasa.
Jangan buang waktumu memikirkan mereka yg membencimu. Mereka tak
pantas menjadi masalah dlm hidupmu. Jalani hidupmu, jangan hiraukan
mereka.
Terkadang, ketika seseorang menyakitimu, kamu akan membenci apa yg
telah dia lakukan padamu, tapi kamu tak akan bisa membenci dirinya.
Dengarkan suara hatimu, bukan pendapat orang lain. Karena yang
bertanggung jawab atas kebahagiaanmu adalah dirimu sendiri, bukan
mereka!
Kenangan tak akan bisa berubah, meski orang di dalamnya telah berubah.
Tapi kamu harus belajar tak mengingatnya jika ingin terus melangkah.
Apapun yang kamu lakukan, selalu ikuti kata hatimu, tapi jangan lupa
sertakan logikamujuga tuk tahu apakah yang kamu lakukan benar.
Jangan membalas mereka yang menyakitimu, maafkan. Kata maaf darimu
akan membuat mereka tak berdaya untuk menyakitimu lagi.
Jangan menyimpan rasa sakit terlalu lama di dalam hatimu, karena akan
lebih terasa sakit ketika kamu harus menghadapinya.
Tdk semua org sebaik atau seburuk kelihatannya, krn siapa diri mereka
sesungguhnya hanya Tuhan yg bs melihat & menilainya.
Hidup itu seperti seni. Tak ada teori yg mengatakan hidup harus begini
dan begitu. Lakukan semua dr hatimu.
Sukses tak datang dari apa yang diberikan orang lain padamu, tapi dari
keyakinan dan kerja keras dirimu sendiri.
Ketika Tuhan memberikanmu kebahagiaan: Thank God. Ketika Tuhan
memberikanmu cobaan: Still, Thank God!
Ketika kamu merasa hidupmu terlalu berat, Sudahkah kamu bersyukur atas
nafasmu hari ini? Sudahkah kamu senyum atas indahnya pagi?
Mereka yang dewasa tahu bagaimana mengatasi rasa sakit tanpa harus
menjadi penyebab luka pada orang lain.
Memaafkan org yg sama berulang kali; itu Komitmen. Memaafkan kesalahan
yg sama berulang kali; kau layak mendapat yg lbh baik
Semua ada waktunya. Ketika waktu itu datang, nikmati. Ketika waktu itu
habis, siapkan diri untuk sesuatu yg baru.
Janganlah mencari kesalahan orang lain hanya untuk melemahkannya,
karena kamupun belum tentu lebih baik darinya.
Hanya karena sahabatmu selalu ada saat kamu membutuhkannya, bukan
berarti kamu harus mencarinya setiap ada masalah.
Berhentilah membicarakan keburukan orang lain, karena jika kamu
lakukan itu maka kamu tak lebih baik darinya.
Ketika seseorang tetap bersamamu melalui masa paling sulit, dia pantas
berada di sampingmu ketika kamu melalui masa terindah dalam hidupmu.
Hargai setiap keputusan yang diambil seseorang. Karena tak ada
seorangpun yang berhak untuk menentukan jalan hidupnya.
Dalam hidup, selalu tempatkan senyum terbaik di wajahmu. Tak ada yang
lebih indah seperti senyum yg berasal dari dalam dirimu.
Jika kamu percaya bahwa kamu mampu meraih semua impianmu, maka
teruslah berusaha. Keberhasilan akan memberimu kebahagiaan yang tak
ternilai.
Jangan mudah terbujuk sebuah pujian. Karena tak semua pujian itu
tulus, terkadang ada maksud tertentu di balik itu.
Hanya karena kamu memiliki segalanya, bukan berarti kamu boleh
menyombongkan diri. Tetaplah berlaku santun dalam situasi apapun.
2 Alasan mengapa seseorang dpt melukaimu: 1. Kau benar2 peduli padanya
; 2. Ia tidak benar2 peduli padamu.
Sisi baik dari masalah hidup yg berat, ia mengingatkanmu bhw km tak
mampu sendiri dan km perlu Tuhan.
Semangatlah menjalani hari ini, jangan risaukan kesalahan kemarin,
cukup jadikan itu sebagai pelajaran agar tidak terulang kembali.
Ketika kekalahan menghampirimu, jangan biarkan ia menghentikanmu.
Percayalah, selalu ada solusi di setiap rintangan.
Ketika masalah menghampiri, tak perlu ribut mencari siapa yang salah.
Tapi introspeksi, perbaiki agar tak terulang lagi.
Banyak rintangan dalam hidup ini tapi Tuhan akan memberikan apa yg
kamu butuhkan bahkan kadang lebih daripada yg kamu inginkan.
Hidup itu seperti nonton film. Km menonton utk menikmati alur
ceritanya, bukan untk menunggu endingnya saja.
Sabar adalah cara yg harus digunakan untuk menyelesaikan masalah
apapun. Seberat apapun, akan cepat diselesaikan dengan kesabaran.
Setiap masalah ada jalan keluarnya. Kamu mungkin tak melihatnya, namun
Tuhan tahu jalan keluarnya. Yakin dan percayalah padaNya.
Tak seharusnya yang diawali oleh senyuman, diakhiri dengan permusuhan.
Kamu telah menang jika kamu bisa memaafkan kesalahan seseorang.
Jika ingin perubahan, lakukan pergerakan. Jangan hanya berdiam diri pun memaki.
Gunakan kekuatanmu untuk mengalahkan kelemahanmu sendiri, bukan untuk
menindasorang lain yang lebih lemah.
Perasaan itu bisa diciptakan. Untuk itu, kuasai perasaan, hilangkan
kesedihan jika ingin selalu mendapat kebahagiaan.
Kecewa kepada orang lain adalah hal yg wajar. Tapi jangan sampai
kecewa terhadap diri sendiri. Maafkan diri sendiri agar kamu tak
kecewa.
Percaya saja bahwa semua yg terjadi dlm hidupmu, entah baik entah
buruk, punya tujuan yg baik untukmu.
Hidup ini memang banyak pilihan, namun kamu tak harus memilih apa yg
terlihat terbaik. Pilihlah yg membuatmu bahagia.
Isi harimu dengan kebaikan. Hargai setiap orang, jangan pernah menaruh
kebencian kepadanya.
Salah satu cara agar bisa ikhlas adalah dengan cara menganggap apapun
yg dikerjakan bukan sebuah beban, tapi kesenangan.
Jangan pernah meremehkan dirimu. Tuhan memberikanmu hidup bukan karena
kamu membutuhkannya, tapi karena seseorang membutuhkanmu.
Slalu ada waktu yg tepat untuk sgala sesuatu. Kadang km hrs
menunggunya, kadang kmhrs membuatnya datang.
Ketika kamu mengatakan hal yang salah, melakukan hal yang salah,
membuat pilihan yang salah, Tuhan selalu memaafkan dan menolongmu.
Terkadang, yang terbaik menurut kita belum tentu yang terbaik menurut
Tuhan. Gunakan kebesaran hati untuk dapat menyikapi hal itu.
Ketika hati sedang resah, gelisah dan dipenuhi dengan keputusasaan,
ingatlah bahwa hanya kepada Tuhan kita mengadu.
Masalah adalah ujian pendewasaan. Jadi tidak ada alasan untuk
menyalahkan orang lain. Benahi dirisendiri dan jadi pribadi yang
dewasa.
Jangan takut akan perubahan. Kita mungkin kehilangan sesuatu yang
baik, namun kita akan peroleh sesuatu yang lebih baik lagi.
Mencegah lebih baik daripada mengobati. Menjaga sikap dan tutur kata
kita lebih baik daripada meminta maaf.
Setiap orang perlu masalah, bukan untuk membuat hidup jd beban, tp
untuk belajar dan bertumbuh jd lbh baik.
Jangan pernah menyesali apapun yang kamu lakukan dengan keikhlasan
hati, sesuatu yang datang dari hati akan selalu berarti.
Jika kita ikhlas dalam berupaya untuk kebahagiaan kehidupan keluarga,
Tuhan akan memudahkan dan menunjukkan jalan.
Apapun yang kamu rencanakan, apapun yang kamu ingin lakukan, awali dengan doa.
Sahabat adalah seseorang yg kamu temukan banyak persamaan dengan
dirimu, namun tetap menghargai segala perbedaan yg ada.
Ketika km kehilangan seseorang, km kehilangan satu. Ketika km
kehilangan jati dirimu, km kehilangan semuanya.
Syukuri apapun yg telah dimiliki. Ingatlah, tak ada yg sempurna
didunia, setiap kita memiliki kelebihan pun kekurangan.
Rasa takut akan kegagalan tak akan pernah bisa membuatmu menjadi
pribadi yg lebih baik. Jangan takut mencoba, beranikan dirimu!
Berhenti terus menyesali apa yg telah terjadi. mereka terjadi karena
sebuah alasan, apapun itu telah jadikan dirimu saat ini.
Hidup ini bukan tentang siapa yg menang atau siapa yg kalah, tapi
tentang menjadi dirimu sendiri dan selalu berikan yg terbaik.
Hidup memang tidak mudah, tapi tidak juga sulit. Kebahagiaan bisa
mudah kamu dapat hanya dengan sebuah senyuman.
Jangan pernah menyesali masa lalumu, segala sesuatu terjadi untuk
membuatmu menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik.
Sbh hubungan yg baik akan membuatmu merasa tenang, damai, penuh rasa
percaya, & membuatmu merasa lbh baik dr dirimu sendiri.
Km tak bisa, tp Tuhan bisa membantumu. Km tak tahu arah jalan hidupmu,
tp Tuhan bisamengarahkannya.
Ketika kamu terobsesi mengejar apa yg bukan untukmu, kamu akan selalu
menemukan sesuatu yg salah dengan apa yg kamu miliki.
Segala sesuatu dalam hidup ini mampu membuatmu bahagia atau terluka.
Semua tergantung bagaimana kamu menghadapinya.
Jangan pernah menunda kebaikan. Lakukan yang terbaik sekarang, dengan
apapun yang kamu bisa, dengan apapun yang kamu punya.
Tetap menjadi diri sendiri dalam dunia yang tak henti berusaha untuk
membuatmu berubah adalah prestasi terbesar dirimu.
Jangan membenci dirimu jika kenyataan tak seperti yang kamu inginkan.
Nikmati apa adanya dirimu. Banggalah pada dirimu sendiri.
Jangan sesali apa yang telah kamu lakukan. Jika memang harus disesali
adalah tak melakukan apapun ketika kamu punya kesempatan.
Terkadang, kepedihan harus dilalui sebelum tercapainya kebahagiaan.
Tersenyumlah ketika bersedih, karena akan ada kebahagiaan setelah itu.
Kebahagiaan pun kesedihan adalah nikmat Tuhan yang wajib disyukuri.
Belajarlah untuk menikmati dan mensyukuri segala yang Tuhan beri.
Terkadang, perpisahan adalah untuk kebahagiaan. Karena mungkin kamu
akan merasa lebih tersakiti jika tidak berpisah saat ini.
Jangan banyak berharap pada dia yg tak menghargaimu. Bahagialah dengan
yang kamu miliki, dan jangan bersedih dengan yang tidak kamu miliki.
Tak perlu mengharap imbalan ketika hendak berbagi. Karena imbalan itu
sudah pasti kamu dapatkan, yaitu kebahagiaan dan ketentraman hati.
Berbagi setiap kebaikan yang dimiliki adalah cara termudah untuk
disayangi, oleh sesama manusia pun oleh Tuhan yang Maha Penyayang.
Ada yg punya semuanya tp tak merasa bahagia. Ada org yg hanya punya
sedikit, tp sangat bahagia.
Kamu tak akan pernah tahu kapan kebahagiaan akan datang. Untuk itu,
ketika kebahagiaan menghampiri, jangan lupa untuk berbagi.
Ungkapan kasih sayang terdengar begitu indah. Berbagilah dengan orang
tua, saudara, sahabat, dan sesama kita. Indahnya berbagi kasih.
Hidup ini bukan hanya tentang kebahagiaanmu sendiri, namun tentang
berbagi kebahagiaanmu bersama orang lain.
Berhenti mencari seseorang yang sempurna. Temukan seseorang yang
memperlakukanmu dengan baik dan dia merasa bahagia ketika bersamamu.
Km tak bisa melakukan segalanya utk membuat hidup sempurna, tp km bisa
melakukan sesuatu utk membuatnya lbh baik.
Sahabat adalah seseorang yang selalu ada disampingmu, yang sabar
mendengarkan keluh kesahmu, dan bersedia menemanimu menjalani hidup.
Jangan pernah membagi hati, karena pasti akan ada yang tersakiti.
Manusia tak akan pernah bisa adil ketika dia berbagi hati.
Jangan pernah menyakiti jika kamu tak ingin dilukai. Karena akan ada
yang memperlakukanmu seperti kamu memperlakukan orang lain.
Tak perlu sesali kesalahan masa lalu, karena kamu tak akan bisa
mengulanginya. Berusahalah untuk tidak mengulangi kesalahan yang sama.
Sesuatu yang berarti adalah sesuatu yang harus kamu perjuangkan.
Istirahat jika diperlukan, tapi jangan pernah kamu berhenti.
Yang sempurna tak selalu bahagia, namun ketika kamu mampu menerima
kekurangan menjadi kelebihan, itu kesempurnaan yang sebenarnya.
Ketika masalah datang menghampirimu, jangan berharap akan dimudahkan,
tapi berharaplah agar kamu dikuatkan untuk menyelesaikannya.
Jangan melihat masa lalu lebih baik dari yang seharusnya, karena akan
membuatmu melihat saat ini lebih buruk dari yang sebenarnya.
Hidupmu berat? Semua org jg berpikir begitu. Tak seberuntung org lain?
Semua org jg berpikir begitu.
Sahabat sejati ialah orang yang tetap menyayangimu meskipun ia telah
mengenal segala kekuranganmu.
Setiap orang memerlukan dorongan dan pujian untuk tumbuh. Jangan cepat
mencela. Ingat, kita dapat mengkritik tanpa mencela.
Hidup punya banyak pilihan dan km boleh memilih apa pun yg km mau. Tp
tiap pilihan ada harganya masing-masing.
Jangan berhenti mengejar impianmu, meskipun itu sulit. Selama
direncanakan dengan baik, percaya impianmu akan menjadi kenyataan.
Bahagia adalah milik mereka yg bangga menjadi dirinya sendiri, tanpa
mencemaskan apayang dipikirkan orang lain tentangnya.
Jangan pernah terpuruk karena suatu masalah, bersabar dan berdoa.
Percayalah, tak ada masalah yang terlalu besar bagi Tuhan.
Jangan hiraukan mereka yg membencimu, karena sebenarnya mereka adalah
orang yangdiam-diam ingin menjadi sepertimu.
Tak perlu tangisi sebuah perpisahan. Karena dengan adanya perpisahan
kamu bisa memulai sesuatu yang baru, sesuatu yang lebih baik.
Jangan berhenti berupaya ketika menemui kegagalan. Karena kegagalan
adalah cara Tuhan mengajari kita tentang arti kesungguhan.
Perubahan memang kadang menakutkan, tapi selama itu buatmu pribadi
yang kian dewasa, kamu harus persiapkan diri untuk menerimanya.
Jangan sesali sesuatu yg telah berakhir, meskipun itu indah. Tanpa
akhir tak akan pernahada awal baru yg mungkin lebih indah.
Kamu tak selalu dapat apa yang kamu inginkan, tapi jika kamu berusaha
sebaik mungkin, kamu pasti dapat apa yang kamu butuhkan.
Bersyukurlah utk setiap senyum yg kau berikan & air mata yg kau
tumpahkan. Senyuman membuatmu kuat; air mata membuatmu bijak
Mengeluh dan mengkhawatirkan banyak hal tak akan mengubah apa-apa,
hanya membuat keadaan terlihat lbh buruk.
Pemenang yang sesungguhnya adalah ketika dia mampu melawan amarahnya
dengan kesabarannya, dan memaafkan dengan ketulusan.
Saat kamu terjatuh, tersenyumlah. Karena orang yang pernah jatuh
adalah orang yang sedang berjalan menuju keberhasilan.
Apapun yang terjadi, jangan dijadikan beban. Berserah diri sepenuhnya
pada Tuhan, dan yakin Tuhan telah merencanakan yang terbaik.
Tak peduli masalah apa yang kamu hadapi, jangan lupa untuk berikan
dirimu sendiri sebuah penghargaan, untuk bisa lebih baik ke depan.
Km tak bisa memiliki segalanya, tp km tak perlu memiliki segalanya
untuk membuat hidupmu terasa lengkap.
Terkadang aku berharap dpt menghentikan waktu ketika suatu momen
begitu indah & ku tahu takkan dpt dikembalikan oleh waktu.
Hanya karena kamu selalu dimaafkan, bukan berarti kamu bisa terus
menyakiti. Memaafkan itu mudah, tapi melupakan adalah hal sulit.
Jangan pernah menilai orang lain. Kamu tak akan pernah tahu isi hati
seseorang. Kamu hanya bisa menebaknya. Dan tebakanmu bisa saja salah.
Menyenangkan ketika menemukan dirimu tersenyum tanpa alasan, dan
akhirnya menyadari bahwa dia yg istimewa yg kamu pikirkan.
Ketika kamu kecewa, meski cukup dewasa tuk memberi maaf padanya, kamu
juga haruscukup pintar tuk tak kembali mempercayainya.
Dalam hidup, terkadang kamu memilih meminta maaf pada seseorang, bukan
karena kamu salah, tapi karena kamu takut kehilangan dia.
Penting untuk mengerti apa yang kamu lakukan, tapi lebih penting untuk
mengerti mengapa kamu melakukan hal itu.
Jangan pernah meremehkan dirimu. Tuhan memberikanmu hidup bukan karena
kamu membutuhkannya, tapi karena seseorang membutuhkanmu.
Ketika kamu berada dalam keraguan, serahkan semua pada Tuhan. Karena
hanya Dia yang dapat menuntunmu untuk menemukan jawaban kepastian.
Jangan biasakan dirimu berada ditempat yang tak baik. Meski kamu orang
baik, seiring waktu kamu akan terbiasa untuk melakukan yang tak baik.
Apapun yg terjadi, nikmati hidup ini. Hapus air mata, berikan
senyummu. Kadang, senyum terindah datang setelah air mata penuh luka.
Jika kamu tahu seseorang telah ada yg memiliki, kamu seharusnya
menghargai. Jangan menjadi alasan hubungan mereka berakhir.
Mencemaskan apa yg mungkin terjadi hanya membuang waktumu. Itu hanya
membebani pikiranmu dan mengambil kebahagiaanmu.
Jangan menunggu waktu yg tepat tuk melakukan hal yg baik. Jangan terus
bertanya apayg mungkin terjadi, beranikan diri!
Dalam hidup, kamu harus menyadari, kadang orang yg paling kamu
inginkan, adalah orang yg buat hidupmu lebih baik jika tanpanya
Kadang, masalah adalah satu-satunya cara tuk tahu siapa yg tulus
peduli padamu dan siapa yg berpura-pura jadi temanmu. -@AidiMs
Jangan menyerah atas sesuatu yg sangat kamu inginkan. Memang sulit tuk
menunggu, tapi akan lebih sulit jika akhirnya kamu menyesal.
Masalah adalah ujian pendewasaan. Jadi tidak ada alasan menyalahkan
orang lain. Benahi diri sendiri dan jadi pribadi yg dewasa.
Setiap cobaan yg terjadi, adalah atas kehendak Tuhan. Dan setiap
kehendak Tuhan adalahuntuk memuliakan.
Sahabat, adalah mereka yang tetap ada, walau seluruh dunia berkata kau
tak lagi berharga. -@falafu
Terkadang, yg tidak baik menurut kita adalah yg terbaik menurut Tuhan.
Gunakan kebesaran hati untuk dapat menyikapi hal itu.
COBAAN = LATIHAN. Dan dengan latihan ini kita akan menjadi pribadi yg
lebih tangguh, lebih tegar dan lebih bisa bersabar.
Ketika hati sedang gundah, gelisah dan dipenuhi dengan keputusasaan,
ingatlah bahwa hanya kepada Tuhan kita mengadu.
Jangan menunda sebuah pekerjaan, lebih baik menyesali apa yg kamu
kerjakan, daripadamenyesali apa yg tak pernah kamu kerjakan.
Sahabat adalah mereka yg tetap ingin menemani harimu, tak peduli apa
yg dikatakan orang lain tentangmu. -@AidiMs
Sahabat adalah mereka yg tahu kapan saat yg tepat tuk menyemangati,
membiarkanmu sendiri, dan saat tuk berbagi. -@Beehavior
Dalam hidup. jangan paksa apa yg tak bisa kamu lakukan. Lakukan saja
apa yg bisa kamu lakukan, biarkan Tuhan melakukan sisanya.
Kadang meski terus terluka, kamu tetap tak ingin melepasnya. Meski
terdengar bodoh, tapi kamu masih berharap dia akan berubah.
Kadang, ketika sedih, kamu menyendiri. Karena kamu tahu satu-satunya
orang yg mampu buatmu tersenyum kembali adalah dirimu sendiri.
Kadang meski tahu bahwa terlalu berharap bisa buatmu sangat terluka,
kamu tetap tak mau berhenti berharap sebelum dapat jawabannya.
Km tak bisa mengubah sgala sesuatu dalam satu malam, tapi km dapat
mengubahnya sedikit demi sedikit. -@WilzKanadi
Kasih sayang tak hanya ditunjukkan oleh sanjungan dan pujian, tetapi
juga teguran atas kesalahan dan kelalaian.
Mempertahankan mungkin lebih sulit daripada mendapatkan, tetapi tak
akan ada yang sulit jika telah ada niat.
Segala sesuatu lebih mudah diucapkan daripada dilakukan. Tapi ingat:
"Semua itu tidak akan bisa dilakukan tanpa diucapkan".
Adalah wajar jika kamu bersedih, tapi jangan pernah kesedihan
membutakan hatimu hingga kamu berputus asa.
Jgn sia-siakan air matamu utk org yg meninggalkanmu. Bkn kau yg
kehilangan mrk, tp mrk yg telah kehilangan dirimu. -@AmandaAdriani
Berlarut dalam kesedihan tak akan bisa membuatmu bangkit. Hapus air
matamu, segera bergerak maju!
Bahagialah dengan apa yang kamu miliki. Jangan melepasnya hanya karena
rasa takut. Kamu mungkin tak akan mendapatkannya kembali.
Mengeluh tak akan pernah menyelesaikan apapun, tapi hanya akan
menambah beban. Berhentilah mengeluh, segera ambil tindakan!
Kadang kamu harus berhenti peduli pada seseorang, bukan karena kamu
membencinya, tapi karena dia tak pernah menyadari kepedulianmu.
Mampu tertawa ketika segala sesuatu dalam dirimu terluka, adalah salah
satu bukti seberapa kuat kamu dalam menjalani hidup ini.
Hal tersulit ketika kamu berpura-pura kuat adalah orang-orang mulai
berpikir bahwa kamu pasti akan baik-baik saja meski disakiti.
Siapapun yg membaca ini, kamu tidak sendiri. Ada seseorang di luar
sana yg menyayangimu lebih dari yg kamu tahu.
"Ketahuilah, hal-hal terindah di dunia ini terkadang tak bisa terlihat
dalam pandangan atau teraba dengan sentuhan, mereka hanya bisa
terasakan dengan hati".
"Jangan lihat siapa yg berbicara, tapi dengarkan apa yg mereka bicarakan".
Tiada siapa paling pandai & paling bodoh di dunia ini krn setiap yg
pandai itu boleh mjd bodoh & setiap yg bodoh itu boleh mjdi pandai
Proyek besar tak bisa diselesaikan sekaligus, tapi hrs di bagi2
kebagian yg kecil & dapat dikendalikan
Mgkn saja setiap masalah & tantangan yg kita anggap sulit itu masih
ada solusinya, namun blom terpikirkan oleh kita
Barangsiapa membawa berita tentang orang lain kepadamu, maka dia akan
membawa berita tentang dirimu kepada orang lain
Kualitas dari kehidupan se2orang itu tergantung pada komitmennya utk
berhasil, bidangapapun yg dia tempuh
Manusia biasanya lebih menghargai sesuatu yg sukar diperoleh tapi
sering melupakan nikmat yg telah tersedia
Orang yg berjaya dalam hidup adalah orang yg nampak tujuannya dengan
jelas & menjurus kepadanya tanpa menyimpang
Seseorang dgn wawasan yg cukup untuk mengakui kekurangannya berada
paling dekat dgn kesempurnaan
Orang2 berhasil tidak hanya keras hati, mereka juga pekerja keras yg
percaya pada kemampuan dirinya
Berfikir itu cahaya, kelalaian itu kegelapan, kejahilan itu kesesatan
& manusia yg paling hina ialah orang yg menganiaya orang bawahannya
Bkn mereka yg terkuat & terbesar yg akan dapat mempertahankan
eksistensinya. Tapi hanya mereka yg mampu beradaptasi terhadap
perubahan
Mimpi mmg sangat perlu utk memelihara gairah hidup & kemajuan, tapi
mimpi tanpa disertai tindakan hanyalah seperti pepesan kosong belaka
Kekecewaan mengajar kita arti kehidupan. Teruskan perjuangan kita
walau terpaksa utk hadapi rintangan demi rintangan hidup
Barangsiapa yg hari ini sama dgn kemarin, maka tertipulah dia, &
barangsiapa hari ini lebih jahat dari kemarin, maka terkutuklah dia
Kita tidak dapat meneruskan hidup dengan baik jika tidak dapat
melupakan kegagalan dan sakit hati di masa lalu
Ketakutan-ketakutan akan membatasi Anda untuk melakukan berbagai hal
yang sangat berarti bagi Anda
Tak ada rahasia utk menggapai sukses. Sukses itu dpt terjadi krn
persiapan, kerja keras &mau belajar dari kegagalan
Lupakan kekecewaan, karena harapan dimasa depan masih terbentang luas
dan begitu cerah
Dalam kerendahan hati ada ketinggian budi. Dalam kemiskinan harta ada
kekayaan jiwa. Dalam kesempitan hidup ada kekuasaan ilmu
Kita akan belajar lebih banyak mengenai sebuah jalan dengan
menempuhnya, daripada dengan mempelajari semua peta yag ada di dunia
Menuliskan tujuan akan sangat membantu dalam menjaga alasan melakukan sesuatu
Sukses dalam hidup tidak ditentukan oleh kartu baik, tapi dengan cara
memainkan kartuburuk dengan baik
Yang anda butuhkan untuk meraih cita2 adalah keinginan kuat yg akan
membawa anda menjadi pekerja keras
Anda bisa sukses sekalipun tak ada orang yang percaya anda bisa. Tapi
anda tak pernah akan sukses jika tidak percaya pada diri sendiri
Sukses dalam hidup tidak ditentukan oleh kartu baik,tapi dengan cara
memainkan kartu buruk dengan baik
Kalaulah anda tidak mampu untuk menggembirakan orang lain, janganlah
pula anda menambah dukanya
Jangan sekali-kali kita meremehkan sesuatu perbuatan baik walaupun
hanya sekadar senyuman
Mimpi tidak hanya membantu Anda berhadapan dengan kegagalan, tetapi
mereka juga memotivasi Anda secara konstan
Mustahil itu OPINI. Ketika Anda TIDAK YAKIN dapat mencapai IMPIAN,
sesungguhnya Anda sudah GAGAL SEBELUM MEMULAI
Seribu perkataan dan pengetahuan tdk berarti tanpa ada satu tindakan
yang nyata. ACTION !!!
KEKUATIRAN tidak pernah memperbaiki hari esok, bahkan hanya melemahkan
SUKACITA pada hari ini
Memaafkan memang takan mengubah MASA LALU, tapi pasti akan mempermudah
MASA DEPAN
Kata-kata itu tenaga yang luar biasa. Seandainya mulut HItler
diplester, Perang Dunia ke 2 tak akan ada.
Jadilah berkat bagi banyak orang. Berbagi itu indah teman :
Memiliki IMPIAN saja belum cukup. Miliki komitmen untuk MERASA HARUS
dan BERTEKAD mencapai impian tersebut
Dalam Takut, yg Tampak adlh Hambatan. Dalam YAKIN, yg Tampak adlh KESEMPATAN
WORKING......is to win the WAR to be THE KING
Kesempatan tidak datang dua kali . Just do it !!! Jangan sampai
menyesal karena kesempatan tersebut berlalu begitu saja
Hidup tanpa mempunyai TUJUAN sama seperti " Layang-layang putus"
Miliki tujuan dan PERCAYALAH anda dapat mencapainya
BERPIKIR POSITIF dapat menghancurkan semua tembok pemisah antara
'tidak bisa' dan 'bisa'
Do what you LOVE , and LOVE what you do. And you will get what you want
You can't go back and make new start.. But you can start now to make new end...
"Tidak akan ada langkah ke-2 bila tak ada langkah pertama" , Just Do it !!!
Jangan Merangkak dalam Keraguan, Berlarilah dengan KEYAKINAN
Good night all, syukuri untuk semua apa yg terjadi hari ini dan
tidurlah dengan nyenyak.
Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows
Never tell God that u have a big PROBLEM, but tell ur problem that u
have a BIG GOD
orang bijak adalah orang yang selalu belajar dari kegagalannya
sedangkan orang yang bodoh adalah orang yang selalu menutupi
kegagalannya
orang yang gagah perkasa itu bukan orang yang bertubuh kekar melainkan
orang yang mampu mengendalikan emosinya ketika marah
lakukan apa yang dapat anda lakukan, dengan apa yang anda miliki dan
di tempat anda berada
Kebanyakan orang gagal adalah orang yang tidak menyadari betapa
dekatnya mereka ke titik sukses saat mereka memutuskan untuk menyerah
Jangan biarkan bayangan masa lalu merusak sinar matahari untuk hari
esok, Hiduplah untuk hari ini.
Lakukanlah apa yang anda ingin lakukan. selama itu bernilai positif bagi anda.
Terkadang terasa pesimis,namun bangkitkanlah dengan bayangkan euforia
yg nanti kalian raih
Jangan pernah berfikir tidak akan pernah bisa mendaptkan dia,meraih
cita-cita,dan segala hal yg kau inginkan
Tetap semangat ! Tetap berkontribusi bagi bangsa dan negeri ini
Selamat pagi,awali hari dengan penuh semangat !
Lelah?menyerah? Padahal kesuksesan sudah di depan mata
Berusahalah terus jangan pantang menyerah seakan akan besok kau akan
mendapatkan kebahagian tak terkira
Semangatlah karena kau tahu esok akan menjadi kesuksesanmu
Kau takkan pernah tahu kesuksesan itu jikalau tak pernah mencoba dan
hanya menyerah
Mimpikan yang kau mau dan kejarlah impianmu itu
Belajar memang melelahkan,namun lebih lelah nanti kelak jikalau saat
ini tidak belajar
Hidup ini penuh warna,kitalah yang harus berusaha mengisi tuk hidup
penuh warna cerah
Orang sukses takkan pernah mengeluh bagaimana kalau akan gagal,namun
berusaha bagaimana untuk berhasil
lakukanlah yang terbaik dan anda akan dapat hasil yang terbaik pula
kesuksesan itu penuh tantangan,gagal sekali dua kali itu
biasa,tetaplah konsisten denganmimpi kita
Hadapi masalah tnpa masalah agar masalah tidak mnjadi risalah
kesalahan spanjang perjalanan ini
Genggamlah bumi sblm bumi menggengam anda,pijaklah bumi sblm bumi
memijak anda,maka perjuangkanlah hidup ini sblm anda memasuki perut
bumi.
berlarilah sekencang mungkin,realisasikan lah target yg telah
dicanangkan untuk hidup yg lebih baik
"Hanya seseorang yg bs takut bertindak berani. Tanpa rasa takut itu
tidak ada apapun ygbisa disebut berani".
"Tindakan benar memerlukan kekuatan besar".
"Tidak ada beban yg berat kalau semua orang mau mengangkatnya".
"Buka mata kita lebar-lebar sebelum menikah, dan biarkan mata kita
setengah terpejam sesudahnya".
"Berbahagialah mereka yang dapat bertahan di saat menerima
keberuntungan dan ketidakberuntungan".
"Uang tdk akan pernah cukup untuk menyembunyikan perasaan sakit dan
kebingungan".
"Dalam dunia ini, tidak ada kesilapan atau ketidak sengajaan. Semua yg
mendatangi kita adalah untuk dipelajari".
"Ketka kita sedang tdk mengingat-Nya bahkan Ia selalu bsama kita dan
menurunkan semua anugerah-Nya. Lalu pantaskah kita merusak semuanya?".
"Ketika kita berencana maka biarkanlah Tuhan yg menjadi penghapusnya
dan menggantinya dengan yg lebih baik".
"Kejujuran adalah batu penjuru dari segala kesuksesan, Pengakuan
adalah motivasi terkuat".
"Mengucapkan kta2 negatif sprti halnya sseorang menancapkan paku2 di
sebatang pohon.Walaupun paku sdh tercabut,tetap aj meninggalkan
bekas".
"Anda tdk pernah merencanakan masa depan dimasa lalu". (Edmund)
"Ilmu itu di dapat dari lidah yg gemar bertanya dan akal yg suka
berpikir". (Abdullah bin Abbas)
"Tiada shalat yg sempurna tanpa jiwa yg khusyuk.Tiada puasa yg
sempurna tanpa mencegah diri drpd pbuatan sia2".
"Ya Tuhan, jgn engkau tinggalkan kami dlm kesengsaraan,jgn engkau
ambil kami dlm kelengahan,dan jgn engkau jdkan kami tmasuk org2 yg
lalai"
This is the chapter from The Quran called 'Ikhlas' -'The Purity' written in square kufic script. Script starts from bottom right corner and spirels in anti-clockwise ending in the middle of the canvas. To the unknown eyes, it is the most amazing maze in the world. Those who know how to read square kufic, a good challenge for the next few minutes to work it out. Acrylic on 100% cotton canvas 30x30 inches
The Idols in my Heart
The beauty, zeenat, of the heart comes from Tauheed (the
One-ness of God)
ikhlas (sincerity),
trusting Allah,
it comes from His Remembrance
and in forgetting others.
Ghaus Pak (ra)
Writing truthfully comes naturally to me. Writing about my dark side, easily. I can see it in the light of others, the contrast striking. I can see it in their darkness, we are always only shades apart. My esteemed Spiritual Master Babu ji (ra) says countless times in Musafir Chand Roza; “Think of yourself as the worst. Think of everyone else as better than you.”
I was never able to do that, think of myself as the worst. And it was without discussing those who made everyone feel they were better than them. After all, some souls had made no promises. They had not reached out and been embraced. Hence, they were yoked, captive themselves. If they behaved badly it was not surprising. But I hailed myself as a keeper of promises. Regressing once in a while was one thing. Breaking a foundational rule, entirely another.
So over four weeks on a summer holiday I finally came to reach the point of honestly thinking I was undoubtedly the worst. This is that story that in fact should not be told. And if it is, I have wondered while writing it, can it ever be told truthfully?
Begin.
When you have one person left that is family that person is important. You have seen good times and bad together. Each of you has changed in their own ways, marking their footsteps with imprints, scars and wounds to show for their paths on their spiritual journey. You part ways often but you will always meet again. If not joy, life and if not pain, death creates reunion forever.
In the interim sometimes one sinks in mistrust wondering, are they sincere to me? The dimmest of light in the heart dying to be heard screams yes. The darkness simply whispers no. Yet prevails.
This summer after two years I returned to what was my home for years. Simply because it was my brother’s home. Portland, Oregon. A city that felt divine because of its beauty and its food, both simple yet overwhelming, in a good way. My cousin happened to be there too. That was a stroke of luck. He is gentle and calm, chilled. The opposite of me even though we were both born on the same day four years apart. I was glad he was there. I had really gotten to know him only on a trip once years ago because he was outside of Lahore. In the city we both lived in, he was usually depressed, languishing in fantasies that would never come true.
My niece was now ten. She was and always will be my heart’s greatest delight. The second person I loved without expectation, negotiation, calculation. I recently added a third and fourth to that list. I hope it grows. I feel it so starkly now what Maulana Shams Tabrez (ra) means when he says that love with those three aspects in it is hell. And without it, heaven. It was so strange to realize in all my interactions of love once the 40’s began, all of which I felt so intensely, bliss had always been absent.
Even now when I regress, say something, do something and think of how or whether it might be reciprocated, I feel that fire of hell and wonder; how did I burn in it for these last 10 years? Burn…in...it...
I was prepared for the trip in advance. As in spiritually trained for it in Lahore. By my Masters from the Realm of the Unseen and my friends on this Earth. There were two simple rule to follow; first, exercise silence. And two, understand and accept that nothing you want will happen.
Both rules were next to impossible for me to execute without lapse for the former and reaction to the latter. Still I buckled down and took a deep breath. I joked with a cousin of mine before leaving; If I can pull it off Cuz, I’m coming back with a halo around my head!
Day 15 was when I faced my failure dead in the face. My tongue finally lashed out. My temper raged. My brother reacted somewhat calmly because he always says the same thing; drink a glass of cold water. He must have read it somewhere in tips for anger management. Of course that was infuriating. I left the room in a huff and the sick part was as I entered mine, where my niece was brushing her teeth, I felt elated.
A volcano had finally burst so pressure was released. A molten lava erupted leaving me unscathed. A few minutes later I re-entered his room sickened by my pleasure at taking someone out. I apologized. He kept saying he didn’t understand why I reacted the way I did. I had no answer to that because I felt he should have known it was coming. But I gave no explanation because every single one I had would have only served to provoke him and hence me. I apologized again. He accepted it gracefully.
That afternoon I chose to stay behind while the three of them went shopping to the city. We were spending most of the five weeks in a beach town on the coast. I grabbed my book & drove to a restaurant where I loved the food. I stared out the window at dense fog, and then found a beach to walk on.
I saw a few cars parked on the side of a road. I could see the sand from where I stopped so I knew it wasn’t going to be far. I put on my headphone and the track that was my summer pick – Sultan + Shepherd, Run to you – grabbed my camera and made my way down. The beach was lovely. It was a cliff on one side that was laid on a bed of rocks. I decided to climb over them and walk to the edge so I could sit right near the water.
It was around 4 that I realized I hadn’t prayed Zuhr. I would not get back into town in time to say it so I decided to pray on the rocks. During the prayer I thought about the moment I had experienced with my brother that morning. The moment I had successfully avoided for 15 days. The moment that had made me feel victorious when it was really nothing but defeat. Nonetheless it was also a moment which allowed me to see him for where he was standing in his life.
Overtly he appeared strong, financially independent, capable, seemingly in no need of anything, emotional or otherwise. But it was a false bravado. Because bravado is always false. His aggression, which seemed to manifest itself instantly, was in fact just the opposite. It was intense fragility. As if a shattering was just a hair’s breadth away and he was skirting it every single moment all the time.
There was in fact no confidence. There was never any confidence. My father had never allowed it. Its false appearance was a mask that over time had become worn out so now it kept peeling off. That part he was aware of. It was what caused the tension inside him to repeat one exercise in repeat; plastering that mask back on again and again. That is why seclusion was preferred. Everything else must have felt taxing.
I replayed the morning’s incident in my mind over and over. I wanted to see my role in it. I had not even really lost my temper. I had just expressed irritation. At being slighted. At being ignored. At being out of bounds really as far as any consideration or sensitivity was concerned. I had been annoyed at best. I had expressed it by being dismissive and condescending. That was the trigger!
It was my making him feel insignificant, the hinting that his behaviour was abnormal. It was me being my father! The truth was that he was also being my father. As far as triggering me was concerned. But there was a big difference. I knew what was happening. I could exercise control over my reaction. All I had to do was be quiet.
He didn’t know anything. He was getting through life hour by hour, minute by minute, hoping his world didn’t crash, hoping he didn’t crash. And not even for his own sake. For his daughter’s. Who already knows what he’s like. Like all children learn their parent’s flaws at the youngest age. And love them anyway. Ignore them anyway.
During my prayer I thought about how I was one of those ordinary people who learnt only through failure. Who always had to be bad in order to be good. And I thought of my beloved Nabi Kareem (saw) who was only and always good. Kind. Gentle. Soft. I had read a new story recently where he was walking and some man came up behind him and pulled him back by his shirt so roughly that he tore it.
“Give me something,” he demanded.
A war had been won. The spoils were being distributed.
Nabi Kareem (saw) simply turned around and smiled.
“Give him what he wants,” he said.
Just like that!
But I was never good. To be good I had to always first face my evil. I hated that so much. It disappointed me so deeply I would just cry. That day sitting on the rocks I wept and asked my Lord for the first time, Ya Rabbi! When will I just be good? Would it ever happen? Could it even happen? I heard the waves crash on the rocks around me and waited for an answer. It didn’t come.
The wind blew hard carrying birds I had never seen before gliding away in lines. I packed my stuff and headed back towards the car. For 14 days I had been praying fervently, ardently, eagerly, passionately, fanatically. How can I express love to someone, I would ask Allah, who has an impenetrable barrier around them? A new barrier that I had never seen before, that I was not used to. And then I knew.
Perhaps there was no way around it. Maybe I was not going to be able to go through it and find myself on the inside. Ever! If the shield made another feel safe, then it was not for me to undo that for them. The only thing I could do was express my love. Which I had not been doing with my brother. In practicing my muteness, I had not said anything kind to him either. I had just been mirroring him, the only difference between us being my silence.
On good days I had felt hopeful. On bad, I felt like I visited someone who had jailed themselves. I sat across a glass door. I picked up a phone. I waited for a Hello! If I was lucky, we spoke. Otherwise he disappeared leaving me, the one who is “free” bound, wondering if the next interaction would be better. It made me realize he wasn't the only person in my life like that.
In the first few days when I couldn’t figure anything out I called Qari Sahib just to say hello. He gave me a prayer to say. Since I have never uttered verses before in certain number to bring about change in another person, I was dejected by his advice. But then the Surah turned out to one of my favourites, Al-Nasr, so I started saying it. I recited it a lot anyway.
I even set up a time to understand the tafseer of it by Ghaus Pak (ra).
إِذَا جَآءَ نَصْرُ ٱللَّهِ وَٱلْفَتْحُ
وَرَأَيْتَ ٱلنَّاسَ يَدْخُلُونَ فِى دِينِ ٱللَّهِ أَفْوَاجًا
فَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْهُ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ تَوَّابًۢا
When comes the Help of Allah and the Victory,
and you see the people entering into the religion of Allah in multitudes.
Then glorify with the praises of your Lord and ask His Forgiveness.
Indeed, He is Oft-Returning
Surah Al-Fath, Verses 1-3
Tafseer e Jilani:
Ida ja’a nasurallah: When it will come to you, O Messenger who completes Prophethood (peace be upon you), the Promise of Allah which He promised you, that He will help you against all your enemies. And make your religion dominate all other religions…
Wal fath: …which Allah already informed you of with his verse
“Inna fathana laka fath han mubeenan - إِنَّا فَتَحْنَا لَكَ فَتْحًۭا مُّبِينًۭا - Indeed, We have given victory, to you a victory clear. 48/1”
Wa: Now it has come; that victory and the help that you were promised, completing your control and overcoming all your enemies and dominating your religion over all other religions…
Rait an Naas a yadkhulna fi deen Allah I afwaja: …troop by troop and group by group, after which they will come individual by individual.
Fa sabbih bi hamdi Rabbika: O Messenger who completes Prophethood (peace be upon you)! Be thankful that He has granted you all that He promised you. And He gave you victory upon all the Universe. And perfected your excellence in manner and honorable etiquette by raising you, then unveiling your appearance for all people.
Wa astahfir-hu: So ask Him to let go of everything and forgive from His Majesty, for the benefit of your person and your transgressions (in love).
Inna hu kana Tawwaba: He forgives all who ask for forgiveness from Him and also accepts the repentance of those who turn towards Him again. If those feelings come dipped in sincerity.
It was the last line that resonated for me the most. I turned in repentance again and again. But it also made me wonder about the last line. Were my feelings always dipped in sincerity?
I even studied what is the Khatim as Surah, a note at the end of each Surah, concluding it, that Ghaus Pak (ra) writes for the reader:
O You who seeks success on the Last Day and is interested in the spiritual blessings from Allah Himself which have been promised that come from asking forgiveness from Him! And in focusing your attention towards Him in all your states all the time and entrusting your matters in their entirety to Him! And making Him your Disposer of Affairs! And making Him the One who takes care of you and becomes your Guarantor!
For you the duty is to be steadfast in obedience and worship. And stay away from that which has been made forbidden and evil for you. May Allah protect you from sins and bring you to the place of culminating your purpose by His Bounty (Fazl) and His Kindness (Lutf).
In saying the Surah by count for the first time, I realized that prayers that are supposedly to alter another’s heart are amazing because whether they impact the other person or not, they definitely alter one’s own. It’s the Quran after all. Ease of the heart is promised.
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ
Those who believed and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah.
No doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find their rest.
Surah Ar-Rad, Verse 28
But it was early days. Half the trip remained. I felt ease because I was successful in exercising silence but I was seriously lacking something which I had taken for granted on my end; the entrusting of matters in their entirety to Him, and making Him the only Disposer of Affairs, and making Him the
One who takes care of me and thus becoming my Guarantor!
In Lahore, I always felt my reliance singularly, doubtlessly because I was alone. There was no one except God for me there. When I made mistakes, erring constantly, they had to do with my own person. The regret came naturally and the repentance was doused in sincerity.
Patterns were recognized and broken quickly. Here I was repeating the mistake without recognizing it and therefore without addressing it. I noted the difference was coming from the relationship that was woven into my life inextricably. The others I could walk away from. This I could not escape.
I knew that because the whole trip had got me thinking about friends of mine who had spouses who were difficult. Who can fly off the handle without provocation. Be verbally abusive or just distant, indifferent. Then cycle to some sweetness and become hard again. Endlessly. For decades. I often tried to share with them what I learnt but I was not married and I have never had experience, long-term living in the same space with someone who was like that. I shared what worked for me in difficulty of shaking off looping thoughts. That was about it. I didn’t have to face the people creating those thoughts all day long.
I had found my brother to be was more closed off than usual. Perhaps it was because his marriage was on fragile grounds. Maybe it was from living alone for the last two years. Then my father had died only a few months before. He was always veiled anyway but the veils seemed thicker.
Day in and day out I wondered how to reach him. I felt like it was an exercise in vain like scaling walls put up by the other only to reach the top and find, the walls were in fact higher. The rope wasn’t enough. You could only stay suspended.
On one of my alone days while reading Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani, I finally understood why Ghaus Pak (ra) defined the last and highest state of sabr, patience, to be that which is not waited for to be over. It was something that had always truly perplexed me. Why wouldn’t someone want a trial of difficulty to end?
“Once I was faced with a trial and it left me in a state of pain for a few days. I requested Allah to make it end. And He intensified my pain through another trial. In that moment, I was left mutahayyar, bewildered.
Then I heard a voice from the Unseen, ‘Did you not in your initial stages say that, in all my states, I surrender to my Lord?’
Thus I was taught adab regard, and I became still.”
I loved that last line. How the extraordinary were taught something through a single line and in a single moment becoming “still” for eternity!
I already knew that what lay at the heart of badly broken people; shame and abandonment. It’s what lay behind the dysfunction we all have. But theirs seemed to be different. I recently discovered the major one to be that a time comes when they cannot take any chances.
They refuse to put themselves in a position of vulnerability. Not with any relation. Not for any reason. They seem to be minimizing risk of hurt and disappointment to zero but in that singular pursuit they don’t see that they will have to reject all love.
All of it!
How barren would life be then?
It made me sigh deeper than usual.
On day 21, my trip was coming to a close in two weeks. My cousin was leaving in one. In that moment when the end appeared on the horizon, clarity came with it. What I have not mentioned thus far, primarily out of disappointment and embarrassment, was my financial dependence on my brother. He had given me his credit card. He had done that many times before. But this time he seemed to do it, not begrudgingly, but not quite as generously either.
I had brought a substantial amount of money to cover my expenses but I had spent it all on my ticket, renting weekend apartments and hiring cars over the 6 weeks. I expected him to cover the cost of my being there otherwise. And it was again during my prayers that I was made to see myself relying on him when my pockets were not empty. I just didn’t want to spend my money on incidentals because I thought I shouldn’t have to. But I ignored those revelations that came. That was a colossal mistake!
Day after day my prayers were distracted from morning till night. I would hear a voice inside my heart saying words like ghair mukhlis, insincere, munafiq, hypocrite. I listened to the words over and over feeling my chest tighten and yet, I didn’t change anything. Till the end appeared.
The tragic fact was I was not even buying anything I really wanted on his card. He was not going to end up spending half as much money on me than I would spend on myself. Still I felt entitled to it and instead, I ignored my soul that was burning. And I let it burn.
Then on another day while I was reading Ghaus Pak (ra) spoke to me;
“O you who seeks ilm, knowledge! Without amal, deed, there is no trust upon your knowledge and without ikhlaas, sincerity, there is no trust upon your deed. For it is like a body without a soul.
The symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people when they praise you nor when they are critical of you and – this was the line especially for me – the symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people or the wealth that is in their hands.”
The symbol of your sincerity!
Then he continued, “For how will you deliver on your promises to Allah that (1) only He is your Lord (2) you were created to gain His Recognition and (3) make your deeds to please the Giver of all Blessings instead of the overt giver of it who is just the medium.”
Whilst translating the text with Qari Sahib he told me the verses Ghaus Pak (ra) was referring to in the Quran. That is when I knew, I was amongst those who said, “Bala! Indeed, You are.”
وَإِذْ أَخَذَ رَبُّكَ مِنۢ بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ مِن ظُهُورِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَأَشْهَدَهُمْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ ۖ
قَالُوا۟ بَلَىٰ ۛ شَهِدْنَآ ۛ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَـٰمَةِ إِنَّا كُنَّا عَنْ هَـٰذَا غَـٰفِلِينَ
And recall when Your Lord summoned the offspring of the children of Adam from their loins and made them testify about themselves, “Am I not your Lord?”
They said, “Yes, we do testify.”
Thus you cannot say on the Day of Resurrection, “We were oblivious of this.”
Surah Al Araaf, Verse 172
Also reminding me that according to Ghaus Pak (ra) worshipping Allah is in fact gaining His Recognition:
وَمَا خَلَقْتُ ٱلْجِنَّ وَٱلْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ
And not I have created the jinn and the mankind except that they worship Me.
Surah Ad-Dhariyat, Verse 56
But it was the third promise I had forgotten; Make your deeds to please the Giver of all Blessings instead of the overt giver of it, for they are just the medium.
Then Ghaus Pak (ra) explained why the medium didn’t matter;
“What people have is the shell, the marrow only lies with God. Thus only when your faith in God and your sincerity towards Him will you become what He expects from you, will you stand before Him forever mindful.
Then He will bestow upon you His Recognition and you will come to know the marrow of The Marrow and the inner of The Inner and the meaning of The Meaning.
So eat from the left-overs of the Friends of God and drink from what they leave behind for they are fed spirituality and meaning as a reward of their obedience to His Beloved (peace be upon him).”
The realization of my insincerity blew a hole in my heart. I walked around in a daze for a few days at what I had done, how I had ignored it. I had transported myself to the darkest of darkness and then planted myself there while seeing the light at the edges of my surrounding. And for what? I shudder typing the word as to what a ghatiya person (lowlife) it made me; money. But at least finally the spell was broken.
In those same days while driving around for long periods of time, something I never do in Lahore, I heard a lecture by Uzair from years ago. Perhaps it was when he first started speaking at Hast o Neest. In it he mentioned something Sheikh ul Akbar, Hazrat Mohyuddin Ibn e Arabi (ra), Ghaus Pak’s (ra) son by spiritual lineage, said about Tauheed, the One-ness of God. And he spoke of it in the context of the first line of the Quran;
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ
Alhamdolillah e Rab il Alameen!
All praise is due to God alone, the Sustainer of all the worlds.
Surah Fateha, Verse 1
Uzair: “All praise is Allah’s alone, who is the Lord of all the worlds. I would like to explain why in the Arabic language, the word alimeen is used here, as opposed to alimoon, both being plural. The difference in which word is to be used is a function of the context. If it is being used for beings that have the ability to reflect, aaqil, the word alimeen is used. If it is being used for the non-thinking, ghair aaqil, then alimoon is used.
But if we ponder on the split between reflecting and non-reflecting matter in the Universe, there is much more of the latter. For instance, most of the world, our world, is made of water. There are more plants and there are more animals than there are human beings. And of them, how many reflect? (Uzair smiles). But Allah still is using the word alimeen because of those few thinking ones, so why does He do that?
Here Sheikh ul Akbar (ra) says; ‘Look at the line before Alhamdolillah e Rabil Alimeen. The line is Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim. Allah is showing the epitome of the Magnificence of His Mercy by using the two Names, Rahman and Rahim together. So what Allah is saying here is that He loves those who reflect, even if they are just a handful, the tiniest number, He loves them so much that for their sake, He is raising the status of the rest, the non-reflecting human beings, and the rest of creation whatever it is, by calling them as being of the alimeen.
So don’t miss the lesson here by the Sheikh which is, connect yourself, join yourself with the good, the truthful, the sincere, the ones chosen by Allah as His Friends, as His Favourites. For no matter how base you think you are and how imperfect, it is Allah’s Sunnah, as I have just described above, that for the sake of just a few, when He is making all the worlds and all the Universe alimeen, He will give you what you need and much more to elevate you from your state to an entirely different state. A higher state of prosperity, both spiritual and worldly. More than you expected, more than you thought you deserved.”
Subhan Allah!
Then he came to the part that struck my heart.
“So Sheikh ul Akbar (ra) says make the standard of your life Tauheed. Which by the way is not ‘being one’ as people all assume. It is to make something one or say that something is one. So how does one do that, make the standard of one’s life purely Allah? Sheikh (ra) says that unless your belief, aqeeda, does not exhibit itself in deed, your amal, it is not a part of your imaan, faith.
He is saying that if you want to understand yourself, which is the only way you will understand God, given the hadith
مَن عَرَفَ نَفسَہُ فَقَد عَرَفَ رَبَۤہُ
The one who knows himself is verily the one who knows his Lord God.
then you have to understand the Kalima Tayyaba that you recite.
La ilaha Illa Allah – (translated as There is no god but Allah)
Four words!
But the words have to permeate your being, in your breath, in your standing and sitting, in your speech, your character and your morality, your essence. So how does the kalima enter my life like that, in every single thing I experience? Here the Sufis give the answer very simply for everyone.
They say the Universe is made for a reason so understand that reason. They say that every experience and every situation that we face comes under one of Allah’s Names. Find that Name in the Quran, for they are pearls strewn before you and string it in your Kalima. Replace the “ila” with the Divine Attribute and replace the word “Allah” with His Name which is the Divine Attribute.
For example, when you see something beautiful like some calligraphy and you admire it, direct yourself to saying La Khaaliq Illa al Khaaliq – There is no creator except Allah is The Creator. When you meet someone rich and you think, ‘O so and so is so wealthy, direct yourself to the Kalima and say.’La Ghani illa al Ghani – There is no generous one other than Allah is The Generous One. This is what will bring you closer to Tauheed, connect you with it. When you see someone beautiful and you are drawn to them and you think, ‘so and so is so beautiful’ bring yourself to the Kalima and say, ‘la jameel illah al Jameel – There is no beautiful one other than Allah is The Beautiful One.’
Then you will never fixate on anything or anyone. You will always be directed to God. And that is how you will know why the world came into being. Why was it created at all. Then you will understand the Hadith Qudsi
كُنتُ كنزاً مَخفياً فأحببتُ أن أُعْرَف فخَلَقتُ الخَلْقَ لكي أُعرف
I, Allah, was a Treasure Hidden so I loved to be known
Therefore I created Creation so that I will be known.
Ahbabtu – “Loved” to be known, not wanted to be known!
This is why the Sufis say love was the first movement.”
I sighed. Love was the first movement!
While listening to the lecture, I wondered for a second about the moments we experience that are not beautiful. That are difficult or unpleasant, destructive. But then I knew my answer all too well already.
مَّآ أَصَابَكَ مِنْ حَسَنَةٍۢ فَمِنَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَمَآ أَصَابَكَ مِن سَيِّئَةٍۢ فَمِن نَّفْسِكَ ۚ
وَأَرْسَلْنَكَ لِلنَّاسِ رَسُولًۭا ۚ
وَكَفَىٰ بِٱللَّهِ شَهِيدًۭا
Whatever befalls you that is good comes from Allah,
and whatever befalls you of evil is from yourself.
And We have sent you for all people as a Messenger,
and sufficient is Allah as a Witness.
Surah An-Nisa, Verse 79
Again an-naas, for Mankind, humanity, everyone, as a Messenger!
To this day I don’t know why or even how I ignored those voices for three weeks living in my body without a soul. Why? I know one reason was that I was repeating a pattern I had with someone else in the family which was automatically being triggered. That part happened subconsciously.
During those same days, the surahs I recited the most in my prayers, where surahs are interchanged with Ikhlaas, were Al-Falaq and An-Naas. They were amongst my favourites and even though I had been told to read others as well, as Allah does not like the same Surahs being repeated over and over, for some reason I recited these the most.
In Lahore on random days before our class, I had once asked Qari Sahib what he was studying with other groups of his Quran class. One day he told me about one of them that especially intrigued me.
“I spoke to my class about Surah Al-Falaq and Surah An-Naas.”
Both are also two of the four Surah that are called the “Quls” because they start with that word, “Qul - Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you),…”
“Oh, I love reciting both Surahs Sir. Please tell me as well,” I requested.
“Ok,” said Qari Sahib, “Let’s take a deeper look at the structure of Surah Al-Falaq;
قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ ٱلْفَلَقِ
مِن شَرِّ مَا خَلَقَ
وَمِن شَرِّ غَاسِقٍ إِذَا وَقَبَ
وَمِن شَرِّ ٱلنَّفَّـٰثَـٰتِ فِى ٱلْعُقَدِ
وَمِن شَرِّ حَاسِدٍ إِذَا حَسَدَ
Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you),
“I seek refuge in the Lord of the rising dawn,
From the evil of what He has created,
And the evil of darkness when it spreads,
And the evil from the blowers on the knots (black magic),
And from the evil of the envier when he envies.”
Surah Al-Falaq, Verses 1-5
So if you look at the design of the Surah, Allah asks us to
seek refuge from Him once, I seek refuge from the Lord of the rising dawn. But the prayer of refuge is from four evils; the evil of creation, the evil of darkness, the evil of black magic and the evil of envy.
Now let’s look at Surah An-Naas;
قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ النَّاسِ
مَلِكِ النَّاسِ
إِلَٰهِ النَّاسِ
مِن شَرِّ الْوَسْوَاسِ الْخَنَّاسِ
الَّذِي يُوَسْوِسُ فِي صُدُورِ النَّاسِ
مِنَ الْجِنَّةِ وَالنَّاسِ
Say (O Beloved (peace be upon you)),
“I seek refuge in the Lord of Mankind,
The King of Mankind,
The God of Mankind,
from the evil of The Whisperer, the one who withdraws (after his whisper),
who whispers in the hearts of Mankind,
from the Jinn and Mankind.”
Surah An-Nas, Verses 1-6
In contrast in this Surah, Allah asks Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) to seek refuge invoking Allah’s Name three time; Rab-in Naas, Malik-in Naas, Ilahi-in Naas, the Lord of Mankind, the King of Mankind, The God of Mankind. And from what? From the evil of The Whisperer, the one who withdraws (after his whisper). One thing; Iblis. Three invocations to safeguard ourselves from one being. Do you notice the difference?
So why is that?
It is so we understand that Iblis has the strongest hold over us, the greatest power to propel us towards misguidance, towards our destruction. Our nafs listens to him constantly, is influenced by him constantly, is obedient to him constantly.
In order to protect ourselves from this evil, we have to turn towards Allah as our Rab, the one who raises us from when we are small, to our Malik, The One who teaches us how to be when we are mid-life and our Ilahi, who is The One we worship with increased intensity when we are old. Meaning that throughout our existence, we cannot be safe from Iblis for even a single moment, without invoking Allah’s Help and Mercy upon us.”
I felt blown away.
On that day in Portland I remembered Qari Sahib’s words. It was so clear and disturbing to realize how Iblis had attacked so silently and I had let him ravage me. I thought hard about it, my behaviour, specifically why I took money from someone when I had my own. Why did I think it was owed to me? Was it my ujrat, price, for the silence? I never quite reached an answer but at least I knew now it was wrong. In that silence, I had not even said anything to my brother regarding other people in Lahore who were relying on him.
Finally I broke the silence and wrote him a letter.
In it I said everything I wanted to say on Day One. But I said it kindly, not condescendingly, not authoritatively. I said it gently, not harshly. I said it humbly because I had been no different from him. I could not get over that for the life of me. He had been tense so I had been tense. He had been curt so I had been cold. He had been tightly wound so I had not relaxed. And almost all of the trip was over.
Then something happened that broke the spell. Everything shattered because by chance he felt a moment of happiness.
It was a regular morning. I was hanging out with my niece in our room. Suddenly he walked in beaming. It was something work related, I didn’t even ask what. He just announced that something “great” happened and then he hugged me. He had only done that at the airport when he seemed genuinely happy to see me.
I had not been able to get a second hug in on my own. I would think about it all the time, every single day in fact but it just didn’t happen. I literally couldn’t get physically close to him. He didn’t allow it. When I went to his room hoping to hang out, he always said he had a call to make or shower or change. He always wanted other people around.
But the real shift that came to me, for me, that was the sign that I was under someone’s nazar, eye, that someone on the other side knew I was struggling and wanted to be forgiven, came from the skies. And it came in the shape of a moon.
The first moon and not just any first moon either. It was the moon of the first of Muharram, the new year, the one that comes marking pain and sadness.
I had been on the patio trying to catch the color of the skies after the sunset which I almost always missed because it set after 9. I was always home by then. Then my eyes wandered and I saw it. I almost didn’t believe my eyes. That perfect sliver, bright, low, staring at me like it waited for me. I never catch the first moon in Lahore no matter how long I spend driving around looking for it.
That night at Isha’ I was euphoric. And then I saw even more clearly what I had been doing wrong.
فَإِذَا قَرَأْتَ ٱلْقُرْءَانَ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ
إِنَّهُۥ لَيْسَ لَهُۥ سُلْطَـٰنٌ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَلَىٰ رَبِّهِمْ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ
إِنَّمَا سُلْطَـٰنُهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ يَتَوَلَّوْنَهُۥ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُم بِهِۦ مُشْرِكُونَ
So when you recite the Quran, seek refuge in Allah from the Shaitaan, the accursed.
Indeed not for him is any authority over those who attain to faith
and upon their Lord they put their trust.
He has power only over those who ally themselves with him following him.
And those who because of him associate others with God.
Surah An Nahl, Verse 98-100
I was checking the list on everything wrong. I was not relying on God and Iblis was dancing all over my heart like it was a grave. The grave of my soul because it was dead and I had killed it! But now finally I relaxed. I accepted my reprieve with joy and I shed my sin. I didn’t know the next few days I would be made to learn only more about it so it would be ingrained in me what I had done wrong so perhaps I would not repeat the mistake again.
Muharram began and I tried to listen to Uzair’s lectures which were happening on a daily basis. In one of them, he recited the following verse;
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ
قَدْ جَآءَتْكُم مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَشِفَآءٌ لِّمَا فِى ٱلصُّدُور
وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ
O Mankind!
Verily has come to you an instruction from your Lord, and a healing for what (ill) is in your breasts, and guidance and mercy for the believers.
Surah Yunus, Verse 57
I called Qari Sahib from the States to understand the verse. How could I not? The verse was not for me, it was for all of Mankind. And the shifa’, cure, I needed to know what the effect of it was because it was promised.
Every word spoke to me. I was the one who had forgotten, was asleep, unaware!
Ya Ayyuhan Naas: O you who have forgotten your original purpose and your true abode i.e. Heaven.
Qad Ja’akum: the Quran has come to awaken you and make you aware
Muwaddatun: and admonish you
Min Rabbikum wa shifa ul lima fi sadoor: and cure you of your grudges and heal you of your unhealthy thoughts that are resident in your hearts.
Wa huda-n: And it guides even those who are of exalted status and have arrived before Tauheed.
Wa Rahmatun: And it consists of abundance of mercy which includes specifically
Lil Momineen: the people who are righteous and mindful. So it is upon you to take warning and obey its commands. And ponder upon its secrets and its signs and deeply consider its keys and how it dawns upon you, until you unveil from it according to your capacity and capability to explore it. And Allah is The True Guide towards His Essence for whom He wills from His Servants. He prevails over everything and He is Dominant and Wise.
From the beginning of my arrival, I was trying to get my niece to read some books I had brought on different prophets written especially for children. They focused on their stories as specifically mentioned in the Quran.
Sometimes I would sit with her and other times, I would read my own book and have her read out loud. One day when she was reading the story about Hazrat Musa (as), she came to a part of Pharoah which I knew nothing about; his background. Everyone I knew only spoke of his days as King of Egypt. But who was he before that?
“Pharoah was a poor, jobless and unsuccessful individual living in the city of Isphan in Iran. He had borrowed a lot of money from different people and was unable to pay his debt. The money lenders would demand payment but he had nothing to give them. Thus he was living a miserable life.”
OMG!
“Pharaoh had a keen interest in palmistry and astrology and would often consult about his fate and future. One of the astrologers advised him to migrate to Egypt as it would bring him honour, luck and fortune. He decided to follow the advice with the meager amount he had. He found that the people of Egypt loved melons.
From a village he bought some melons to start a profitable business. As he entered Egypt, he was confronted by corrupt officials who demanded illegal taxes on the melons. Pharoah had no money to pay the taxes so all the melons were confiscated. He submitted a complaint to the Emperor’s court but it was not forwarded.
At that time a deadly plague broke out in the city resulting in many deaths. Pharoah chalked out a plan. He reached the graveyard and demanded tax of the dead bodies. Thinking it to be official, people paid the tax as corruption was rampant in the country. As luck would have it, one of the bodies was that of a relative of a high official in the court.
Pharoah was taken to the King’s court for demanding illegal taxes. He informed the King about the corrupt practices in his kingdom. The King punished the officials and appointed Pharoah as a courtier. Pharoah’s treatment of the people was exemplary and with his intellect, he rose to the highest position. Soon he became all powerful and proclaimed himself king and insisted that the people prostrate before him.”
The ego is the python that can even swallow itself whole! And this is exactly where I was at;
لَهُم مِّن جَهَنَّمَ مِهَادٌ وَمِن فَوْقِهِمْ غَوَاشٍ ۚ
وَكَذَٰلِكَ نَجْزِى ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ
Hell will be their resting place and their covering as well.
And this is how we recompense the wrong doers.
Surah Al-Araaf, Ayaat 41
And of course the hell was right here in this world!
Tafseer e Jilani:
Lahum min jahannama: Hell is the torture of Imkaan, possibility which is doubt
Mihaad: and they will burn in these fires of their false desires.
Wa min fauqihim ghiwash: They will be covered with the fires of their power and wealth and claims of being great and possessing abundance.
Wa ka daalika najzi ad-dualimeen: And the zalimeen, the ones who transgress the boundaries of Allah due to their nafs, who are unjust, will drown in the addiction of their senses, their paranoia and their delusion.
All that time I ignored my heart’s call, I had turned away from love from my soul. It answered my question of how others turn their backs to love? Those wonderings I used to have; do they even feel badly about it? In those thoughts I was judging them and so I had been made to stand exactly where they stood. It definitely ended the inquisitiveness that seemed so natural. My nafs was no different from their nafs in being punishing. My torture no different from theirs when it created doubt.
I thought about the moon and why it I saw its shortest of appearance marking the start of the most honored of months. There was a prayer I had started saying recently in Lahore after every Namaz. Three times! I had read that a Companion used to recite it three times after every prayer and Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) liked that so much, he kissed him on his forehead.
I had even studied it with Qari Sahib before leaving just to understand it more deeply. It began to dawn on me, it was this prayer that I never stopped uttering throughout my debacle, that had come to save me.
لَقَدْ جَآءَكُمْ رَسُولٌ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ
عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُم بِٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ
فَإِن تَوَلَّوْا۟ فَقُلْ حَسْبِىَ ٱللَّهُ لَآ إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ۖ
عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ ۖ
وَهُوَ رَبُّ ٱلْعَرْشِ ٱلْعَظِيمِ
Certainly, has come to you a Messenger from yourselves.
Grievous to him is what you suffer,
he is concerned over you,
to the believers he is kind and merciful.
Surah At-Tauba – Verse 128
Tafseer e Jilani:
Laqad Ja’akum: O bedouins!
Rasoolun: the Messenger has come with miracles open and signs clear, that will be created.
Min An fusakum: Raised from amongst you is he who has intense love and mercy for you.
Aziz-un: Heavy is the burden
Alyihi: upon him (peace be upon him)
Ma annit-tum: of that which pains you and brings you suffering.
And when you come across that which he did not find favourable for you because it was from the signs of kufr, ingratitude
and shirk, fears and hopes associated with others.
And the absence of obedience and the absence of submission to the Commands of Allah and that which was forbidden to you.
Despite this;
Harsees un: Surely he is eager for your faith and submission and correction of your state because he is
Bil Momineen: with the the ones with certainty, the ones who believe in the One-ness of Allah and the ones who are sincere,
Rauf-un: Most kind and full of affection,
Raheem-un: he feels mercy for them and is well pleased with them due to their coming out from the darkness of the denial of Truth and ingratitude towards the light of faith and submission.
I read the translation of one word over and over;
Ma annit-tum: of that which pains you and brings you suffering.
And when you come across that which he did not find favourable for you because it was from the signs of kufr, ingratitude
and shirk, fears and hopes associated with others.
And the absence of obedience and the absence of submission to the Commands of Allah and that which was forbidden to you.
On one of my last days on the coast when I was by myself, I went to the beach and just sat on a rock in the sand. I dug my heels into it and stretched and then picking up a pebble, I wrote the words; “Please forget I did it all, Ya Rabbi!”
It made me think of the movie Hollywood made in 2004 about the erasing of disturbing memories; Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. It was prophetic of course. The idea of erasing that which is regretful is now a scientific possibility, yet another to perverse the nature of things. Mistakes are made and can be forgotten but not erased by like they never happened except by God who changes them to good deeds for whom He wills. Without the acknowledgment on our end, there is no reformation, only a repeat of patterns.
Still, on that day, in the sand, I wished for things to be erased.
Starting at zero is not a problem in spirituality. Hitting the reset button as many times as possible is actually a good thing. It’s not a moment of despair. It’s not a moment of jubilance either but it still marks movement and the trajectory slopes upwards.
But sometimes the acts are disappointing to one’s own self because the consequences of it were seen. They were known. They were told. When despite that, the step is taken, the disobedience marked with such terrible willfulness, that there is a deepness of regret and disappointment that cannot be fathomed.
And still, the Mercy of Allah and His Friends is deeper so that even such a dark moment is pierced by light.
‘So Iblis said to God Almighty, “Oh my Lord, you wrote in my destiny that I not prostrate and now you order me to do so.”
And he was told, “When did you know that I didn’t want you to bow down, after I ordered it or before?
For if it was before My Command then even your refusal will not harm you but if it was after, then you and an animal are one and the same.”
…The whole span of the soul’s spiritual itinerary is contained within this exchange...’
And one sentence let me unhook myself from a place where I wanted to be castigated to no end.
For if it was before My Command then even your refusal will not harm you…for I knew what I was doing wrong before I was doing it!
Then my trip got delayed. It was a blessing in disguise. I was left alone for a week and I got a chance to write this piece which I otherwise might have never written. I was so ashamed. I was alone for all of seven days. I read. I discovered a river. I took in the sun, dipped my feet in water and stared at rocks beneath it.
There was a homeless guy living there that I had met already in town. That was surprising, to run into him there. It gave me the chance to take him fresh food a few times. His name was Sam. Which is short for my niece’s name Sameena and the name I use when waiting in line for something. He was the third homeless man we had met that summer whose name was Sam. My niece was counting.
We had met one of them, a young man in his 20s, at a pizza joint in the Pearl. It was a sure spot to find someone to feed. On one such day when we got there I saw a man standing next to a cart the homeless use for their stuff.
He was in a lousy mood. He looked surly and kept shouting at this woman with him. She had a cart too. I was a little hesitant to approach him in case he yelled at me too but then walked up to him.
“Hey man,” I said softly. “Can I get you something to eat? From this pizza joint?”
He paused for a second then said, “Sure.”
“What would you like?” I asked, relieved.
It’s always pepperoni which always makes me wince but then he wasn’t Muslim. I asked him if the woman who was now on the other side of the street might want something too. She said yes.
My niece and I got the food and some drinks and took them over. He smiled and thanked me. He seemed calmer. He gave the other box to the woman even speaking to her nicely. As my niece and I walked away, I said to her, “See Lou, sometimes people just need a break from their hard lives. And when someone is kind to them, they soften just like the man did. In an instant. He was even nice to his friend.”
She listened seriously and nodded. I love that about her. I can’t get her to listen to me when I want her to open a book or sleep but when I speak to her about other people and she sees them up close, their reactions, she observes them keenly. I know she observes me keenly.
A few times while we were on the coast and in the city, I would tell her to come with me while I looked for someone to give food to. She always said yes. A few times in a row, as I pulled up towards a homeless person I would have to give money to because there was no food around, I would say out loud whilst thinking to myself, “Oh man, I hope they won’t use it for drugs.”
On every occasion that I did that, it must have happened at least four times, the person was stone cold sober and super nice. Friendly, grateful, gracious, almost innocent.
After the third time she said to me with a chiding tone, “Mony, you keep thinking bad things about the people and they’re always not like that.”
I smiled embarrassed, actually glad that she called me out on it.
“I know,” I said looking at her in the rear view mirror. “I know Lulu. It’s not nice of me to do that. I don’t even know why I’m doing it.”
Then I turned around and with a huge grin on my finger pointing at my skull, I said, “Actually, I do know. I’m sick in the head!”
She burst out laughing.
Almost always I try to have her carry the food and give it. Take the money from my hand and place it in theirs. I want her to hear the way they express such deep gratitude for the tiniest act. How they always bless us. How they always invoke God. How they never want anything specific. How they never ask for more than is offered. How they express such surprise the offer is made at all. These will be the reasons she will do it all her life when she is older. If there ever was something that will bring her God’s Pleasure at the earliest age possible, it will be this act; pleasing a needy person.
In that last week of solitude, I had left my Ipod in Portland in a jacket so I was without music. That meant for drives, I listened to Uzair’s lectures. In one of them he spoke about how no one knew the essence of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) except Allah Alone. It was expressed in a hadith to Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu).
لم یعلمنی حقیقۃ غیر ربی
There is no one who knows my reality except my Lord.
Like Allah, he too was a secret that only love for him could unveil.
In the lecture, Uzair said that the Companions would eagerly await the Sharia’. They wanted to know what the rules and laws were going to be so they could follow them and become maqbool, those accepted by Allah. But the Sufis say that it was the Sharia’ that waited for Akmal Ar-Rasool, the Prophet who completed Prophet-hood (peace be upon him), to do something so that the act would allow it to take form.
Subhan Allah!
In those days, I read in Al-Fath Ar Rabbani that there are two types of Masters; the Masters of Jurisprudence (Mashaikh e Sharia’) and the Masters of Recognition of God (Mashakih e Marifat).
“The first will bring you to the door of Creation. The second will show you the way towards Allah. You will need to enter both doors; the door of Creation and the door of The Creator. Without going through the first one, you will not even see the second.
Take the world out of your heart so entry into the Afterlife is bestowed to you. These are ranks one after the other and they are diametrically opposite to each other. Dependence on creation is the opposite of Recognition of God. They will never co-exist and you will get neither. Unless the heart is empty of all, you are leaving an idol in it. Break the idols, purify the heart and then you will see that which you have never seen.”
Uzair explained the exact same thing in a lecture in a single sentence by Imam Malik, one of the four Masters of Jurisprudence, Fiqh which is “the science of understanding and ascertaining the precise terms and practices of the Sharia’ in Islam.”
من تفقه ولم يتصوف فقد تفسق
ومن تصوف ولم يتفقه فقد تزندق
ومن جمع بينهما فقد تحقق
The one who follows Fiqh, Islamic Jurisprudence, but does not purify the heart,
so indeed he becomes of the defiantly disobedient.
The one who purifies the heart and ignores the laws of Jurisprudence,
he becomes a disbeliever.
And the one who gathers them both, indeed he attains certainty and arrives at the truth.
As someone who knows little about Islamic Jurisprudence and only hears negative things about it in Pakistan because they are all not do-able for the mod squad, I was amazed at the words the Imam used. Without Sharia’, I would become a heretic? It was stunning. And the one who thought they were following every law to the tee but left tasawuff, spirituality as taught by the Sufis who taught one how to purify the heart, out was in fact the one who would become disobedient. A fasiq, like Iblis!
The curve balls that life throws at you will never end. I guess if they did then where would the growth come from. Only in my regression do I remember how deeply imperfect I am. Otherwise to be honest, my life in Lahore, is like I live in a cave. I wish it was a cave. And I was like the Ashab e Kahf.
“Make yourself like a corpse before your Lord,” Ghaus Pak (ra) says. “Like a corpse is in the hands of the one who bathes it.
Turns it left and turns it right. Without existence, without planning, without choice. Stand with faith and certainty before that which comes to you from Him. The only thing that remains in the face of taqdeer, that which has been ordained for you, is Imaan, faith.
Close the doors of asking people and open the door of only asking God. Remember that if Allah wants creation to being harm upon you, they will bring you harm. And if He wants them to bring you benefit, only then will they benefit you. For their hearts are working according to His Will and He will make them hard or soft. He gives life and gives death. He gives or not gives. He grants you respect and He gives to you humiliation. He gives you illness and He gives you health. He gives you nourishment and He leaves you to be hungry. He is The First and The Last and The Overt and The Hidden!”
Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) says that there is a way to everything and the way to Paradise is ilm, knowledge. The Sufis say that the only Paradise is proximity to his person. It is what every single thing in creation asked for of him when they had the opportunity to present that ask; mountains, trees, animals (of this realm and the others), humans. And when it comes to the pursuit of knowledge, in the Quran lie the keys that Allah refers to in the verse;
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ
قَدْ جَآءَتْكُم مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَشِفَآءٌ لِّمَا فِى ٱلصُّدُور
وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ
O Mankind!
Verily has come to you an instruction from your Lord, and a healing for what (ill) is in your breasts, and guidance and mercy for the believers.
Surah Yunus, Verse 57
“So it is upon you to take warning and obey its commands. And ponder upon its secrets and its signs and deeply consider its keys and how it dawns upon you, until you unveil from it according to your capacity and capability to explore it.”
Nabi Pak (peace be upon him) said in the most well known hadith;
اَنَا مَدِيْنَةُ الْعِلْمِ وَ عَلِيٌ بَابُهَا
فَمَنْ اَرَادَ الْعِلْمَ فَلْیَاْتِهَا مِنْ بَابِهَا
“I am the city of knowledge and Ali is the door to enter it
so the one who desires knowledge should come through this door.”
The Imam is the door that all Spiritual Masters and spirituality stands at the foot of!
In that last week, I went to the river I had found again and again. The second time I went, even Sam wasn’t there. I had seen him cycling into town on the highway and turned the car around to get to the other side to say hi. I had gotten him a sandwich and it was meat so if I hadn’t seen him, it would have gone to waste. Or at least eaten cold by someone hours later.
On the way to the river, I saw a man with an extremely old truck pulled over on the side of the one lane highway that went towards Portland. He had jumper cables in his hand so clearly his battery was dead. As I zipped passed him I wondered if someone would actually stop to help him. It was a sunny Sunday. People were either coming to the coast in droves or leaving to get back to the city early.
I turned the car around and went back to where he was. I brought the car to face him so my engine was in front of his.
Stepping out of the car I said, “Hey man! I don’t know anything about how to do it but if you want to use my battery,” and I opened the hood, “here it is.”
He lifted it but neither of us could find the lever that would hold the bonnet up. He asked me to start his car while he fiddled with something in his engine but it didn’t start. There was a little dog running around and the truck was filled with bags. It looked like he was living in it.
“It’s ok,” he said finally giving up and instead asked, “Can you give me a lift to my camp site?”
“Ummmm,” the usual thought emerged from my mental head, my germophobe OCD kicking in. I just stared him for long enough that he said, not begrudgingly at all. “It’s alright.
Someone else will come along.”
“Will they?” my heart asked me. It was like I froze and just stood there.
“I got the shot,” he said possibly thinking my hesitation was rooted in being scared because of COVID.
“Shot?” I echoed, then thought Oh, Pfizer!
“Yeah,” I remarked. “I don’t really care about that man.”
It was true. I was still sailing on the “jiss to hona hai uss to hona hai” boat because that’s exactly how I was seeing it play out. Totally randomly! Plus he seemed more concerned about my well-being than some of my friends who were vaccinated & had clearly lost their minds living in seclusion for too many months in their homes.
I went and sat in my car but didn’t turn the engine on to leave. After a couple of minutes of working my way through my paranoia, knowing I was being an ass, I spoke.
“You know what,” finally the words came out, “I’ll drop you at your site. Where did you say it was again?”
“Four miles down the road,” he said. “I just have my bags and food and ice-box,” he said walking to the back of his truck.
I piled his stuff in the trunk of the jeep. The man got into the car and we started speaking. He told me he lived in South East Portland but was thinking of coming to the coast. He camped there every summer for a couple of months. It wasn’t the first time he had car trouble.
Then for some reason he mentioned he had been in and out of jail his whole life.
“Oh,” I said with deep sympathy. “Why?”
“DUIs,” he said. And I realized he was a little inebriated even now.
Exactly four miles out came his spot. He got out and I helped him with the bags. I even offered to take them to the site but he declined. He was probably in his 50s. My age. But he looked older as poor people do.
I went back to the river and walked over to where Sam lived. There was a campfire, a sleeping bag, a log that served as a pillow and to lean his back on. There was a jar of coffee, some cocoa, some other bag that looked like it had ziplocks in it. That’s it.
The log that was the pillow reminded me of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). He had a rock that was a pillow. He chose to rest his head on it.
On the coast the day could be very sunny but the nights were always cold. And it was still August. What did Sam do in the winter, I thought? What did any homeless person do?
The whole thing reminded me of Huzoor Nizam Pak (ra) again, who was bestowed the title Mehbooh e Ilahi, the one beloved to God. I had quoted the story often in my writings. His not eating any delicious and being asked about it.
Mehboob e Ilahi (ra) had softly replied, “I do and I know I can whenever I want. But then when such food is placed before me, I can’t stop thinking about the ones who roam the Earth hungry and homeless, forgotten by the world and I can’t bring myself to swallow a single bite.”
Luckily I was able to see Sam one more time. I got everything I could think he might need and brought my niece. She had met him once and loved talking to him. He was so gentle.
That last afternoon we sat and talked a lot together. He told us he liked drawing the pictures he saw in stars. One of them he called The King of Angels.
"Maybe its Gabriel (as)," I said.
He nodded. "Maybe it is."
Then he told us how he had been picking nails and pointy stones off roads so that they would not hurt anyone.
"I think I got lucky because of that," he said thoughtfully looking at the ground. "Cause I have been eating some good food lately."
I was dying to tell him of the hadith of Nabi Kareem (saw) about the exact act - “While a man was walking in the road, he found a thorny branch in the road and he moved it aside. Allah appreciated his deed and forgave him” - but just looked at him. Then when we got up to leave, he got up too and hugged us both.
"Thank you for being my friends," he said.
As I turned away, i started crying. I was so sad to say bye. My niece followed me. Seeing my wipe my eyes, she placed her little hand softly on my shoulder, "It's ok Mony," she said her eyes wet. "Maybe you'll see him again soon."
We waded in the water some more then went home. That was how the coast trip ended.
In the end I left my brother with nothing really changed between us but on the last day he was soft too. But I already knew, the ordinary never really change anyone anyway, except perhaps momentarily. What they do is make an offering of love. If accepted it is light that penetrates darkness for as long as the other wants it to. That’s about it. But love is the only opening. That opening came for me this summer in a verse, in my silence, in some tears and in the moon.
The truth is it comes for anyone who longs for it. All kinds of prayers can be denied or remain unanswered, almost always because, for some reason or another, they’re the wrong ask anyway, but I have found that love from those connected to God is an absolute sure thing. They never abandon you.
I will be ending the trip without that halo on my head, that’s for sure. Instead I leave reaching a different goal that my ego never even imagined; being the worst of all. It doesn’t sound like something to be happy about per se but it is. For it ensures one thing; the silence that was so hard for me to practice might become easier. On the Day of Judgment, all the Prophets will decline the people’s requests to intercede for them before Allah because of a single mistake they made in a lifetime. And they didn’t even have free will!
I didn’t know I had idols in my heart in Lahore. I had to come to another country to see them. As disturbing as that vision was, it presented an opportunity for me to shatter them. With them, I had to shatter too. Deeds will have to begin from zero again. And who knows maybe this time round, they will finally be soaked in sincerity.
“Strive to attain certainty for verily you have attained to faith,
repent and express that you are sorry and regret,
and weep tears that stream down your cheeks,
for this crying in the fear of disappointing Allah douses the fires of your sins
and extinguishes His Wrath.
When your heart truly atones, then without doubt,
the nur, light, of the sincere repentance will appear upon your face
making it lit!
Ghaus Pak
Continued from: flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51724658100/in/dateposted-...
And overall: He, himself, is a witness upon his own denial and ungratefulness and his shirk, the association of others with Allah and his oppression, until the time that effect of his transgressions appear upon his self.”
On my way to Lahore my driver who was now leaving spent the hours spilling beans on other staff while I sat in the car dumbfounded. When I returned, I didn’t say a word to the guilty parties. I changed some things around, they reacted with guilt. I ignored it. Working somewhere or not was entirely someone’s prerogative. As difficult as my life might be for a little when a trained person left, anyone new could be taught anything. It wasn’t rocket science! Inside the house was harder than outside but far from impossible.
Still, I was amazed anger had not risen in me yet. Or even disappointment. The person in question had worked for my mother when I was a child and for me for the last several years. I thanked God for that absence in my prayers. Then the next day I spent too much time thinking of what I wanted to say and when was the appropriate timing for it. So much time that I knew a whispering had entered my breast and my nafs had taken flight with it.
On the third day back in the morning I received an email from a friend’s husband in Scotland and in it was hadith below something he had painted.
عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ
يَسِّرُوا وَلَا تُعَسِّرُوا وَبَشِّرُوا وَلَا تُنَفِّرُوا
The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said,
“Make things easy for people and don’t make them difficult for them. Give them happiness and don’t give them cause to turn away.”
And that was it! I thought about the Friends of God who were given that status because they were bestowed a gaze; the gaze of The Beloved (peace be upon him) in their following of him that was perfect. The hadith lifted my heart. I hadn’t had the conversation with the staff yet.
It also made me think of my “loved ones” who were nowhere to be found. If I were to be truthful I knew this much. That when they did appear I wanted them to feel humiliation. It wasn’t in revenge for the humiliation they made me feel but everything that came to my mind that I wanted to say was, ultimately, harsh, even if spoken softly, gravely, thoughtfully. It was a layer of deception upon a layer of deception.
The morning I read the hadith I played table tennis in the park for the first time after the village. The weather was glorious although a tad windy. Still, the game was spectacular. My coach and I always played a best of seven in the end. On my best days, I got a game off him. On this day, I beat him 4-3. I was literally jumping up and down on the court while he made jokes that he was the butt of.
While walking to the car I mentioned the whole staff debacle to Shaan. I worded my words super carefully, knowing extremely well from past experience that the moment I uttered a negative word, I would lose him. I came at him from all angles. I was pleasant in my tone, that part was natural, because I wasn’t angry as such. Mostly still in a state of surprise. Each time Shaan said the same thing back to me.
“It’s not a big deal, Ma’am.” I hated that he was still calling me that. “They all work hard. They get tired. I will try to be a good kid and make things easier for them.”
It wasn’t even about him! I tried to tell him that but that’s all he seemed to focus on. And I realized what was happening. I told him someone was acting like a nut, spinning out of control with their tongue and his response was that if there was a way for him to make their life easier, he would attempt it.
Shaan played out the hadith in three minutes, the one I was swooning over a couple of hours earlier and entirely unable to put any of which into practice. That disconnect between what appeals to my heart and my incapability to actually do it stuns me.
It was reiterated for me how Shaan was a gift for my heart, one that I will never know what I did to deserve. He shows and speaks and does what I read and listen and write about. I guess the Powers that be of the Universe decided it was the only way something might actually penetrate my being. I had to see it.
Through my New Yorkers in the village, I had been seeing the appearances of patterns in the new generations. Most prominently I was reading about Gen Z through their eyes. The peculiarities were fascinating. For instance and I quote from the section Talk of the Town:
“Gen Z considers emojis to be millennial.
Periods (full-stops in the East) in a text are microaggressions.
In the ever increasing spectrum of sexuality are now “skoliosexuals.” (I didn’t have time to Google that.)
One in six Gen Z adults now identifies as L.G.B.T.
Almost everyone in a high school cast on HBO is queer. (But I remember that started with Glee a decade ago).
Gen Z don’t want to be pigeon holed or categorized but they also want to be labeled and identified correctly.”
Hmmmmm.
“In their generation, there is an increasing prevalence of what is called ‘main character syndrome,’ in which teens behave in a way which causes their peers to say, ‘You’re not the main character.’”
Ok, so at least we establish, everyone’s, in some way or another, on a show in their head!
I wondered what that meant for Gen-Zers in the context of the hadith that made me think about my niece even more than I did otherwise;
''Learning something during one's youth is like engraving in stone,
and learning something when one is old is like writing on the surface of water.’’
There was also nothing that was going to be illegal as far as drugs. Which was surprising given that if one was a moderate user of weed in the 90’s, the drinkers of alcohol looked at them like there were addicts. Now they all wanted a Marijuana-laced gummy bear. They also considered treating their neurosis with LSD and Magic Mushrooms. Two states had decriminalized the possession of heroin in small quantities.
I had always wondered how that happened, why that happened. Why things were one way forever and suddenly they were the opposite. I learnt the reason of all places from a piece on Mike Nichols, “Who was Mike Nichols when he wasn’t playing Mike Nichols?” I had been watching on show after show on HBO and movies in general how full front male nudity had become totally mainstreamed and it was bewildering.
“In 1930 the Motion Picture Production Code was adopted as a system of self-regulation. Apparently it was revised every decade but lagged far behind what the article called “educated taste,” mostly coming from French Cinema which was “more racier and more explicit.”
In 1962 Nichols was offered the job of directing Edward Albee’s play “Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?” The problem was “some of the language – screw, monkey-nipples, hump the hostess – and so on were Code-averse. Luckily for Warner Bros., Jack Valenti had just become the president of the Motion Picture Association of America, and was determined to replace the Code.
So when the Production Code Administration voted to deny approval to “Virginia Woolf,” the M.P.A.A. overruled it…Jackie Kennedy persuaded the National Catholic Office for Motion Pictures to “bless” the movie by invoking her husband and how much he would have enjoyed it. Two years later the Production Code was replaced by the ratings system.”
In my decades of perusing the news I had never before come across anything that spoke to why we had landed where we were today. And there it was, all the changes that altered, no completely redefined, the platform came down to one rich person here and one powerful person there. The same story every time everywhere!
Marriage, aside from who the partners were, was a dying institution on top of being railed as a “failed” one because it was becoming unrecognizable. For me, as a single person who doesn’t care about who is allowed it or not, the problem emerged with the subversive introduction, again in programming and movies, around the concept of fidelity.
The language changed from polyamory to what I came across just recently: ethical non-monogamy and was covered by parading the “success” stories of 3-4 couples on everything from Cosmopolitan to the BBC. First the kids were being told they should sleep with everything that moves and think nothing of it. Then if they did find someone they loved or wanted to love, they would need to create a WhatsApp group for that too.
The Pope had recently said, following the resignation of a Paris archbishop, who quit over a relationship with a woman earlier this month, “Sins of the flesh are not the most serious.” He meant that pride and hate were worse. Mainstream media went with the lines they wanted to push the agenda they sought.
At which point I had to include in this piece a verse I had no intention of adding:
ٱلَّذِينَ يَتَّبِعُونَ ٱلرَّسُولَ ٱلنَّبِىَّ ٱلْأُمِّىَّ
ٱلَّذِى يَجِدُونَهُۥ مَكْتُوبًا عِندَهُمْ فِى ٱلتَّوْرَىٰةِ وَٱلْإِنجِيلِ يَأْمُرُهُم بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ
وَيَنْهَىٰهُمْ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ وَيُحِلُّ لَهُمُ ٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ
وَيُحَرِّمُ عَلَيْهِمُ ٱلْخَبَـٰٓئِثَ وَيَضَعُ عَنْهُمْ إِصْرَهُمْ وَٱلْأَغْلَـٰلَ ٱلَّتِى كَانَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ
فَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِهِۦ وَعَزَّرُوهُ وَنَصَرُوهُ وَٱتَّبَعُوا۟ ٱلنُّورَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أُنزِلَ مَعَهُۥٓ ۙ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ
Those who follow the Messenger, the Ummiyy Prophet (peace be upon him) whom they find written with them in the Torah and the Injīl ,
and who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair,
and makes lawful for them good things,
and makes unlawful for them impure things,
and relieves them of their burden, and of the shackles that were upon them.
So, those who believe in him and support him, and help him and follow the light sent down with him, - those are the ones who are successful.
Surah Al Ara-zaf, Verse 157
Tafseer e Jilani
Wahum: And they are…
Alladina yatti’buna As Rasool: the ones who follow the Messenger (peace be upon him), the one who was sent with the Essence of One-ness (Al Mursil bi Tauheed)…
An Nabiyya: the Prophet, Al Mutammim li mukarim il akhlaq, the one who was sent to complete the nobleness of manners (upon Allah’s Akhlaq, His Attributes)…
Al Ummiya: the one who is Al Muttahaqiq, the one who was made inevitable, Al Makhsoos, the who was made uniquely special with Ilm il Luduni, the Divine Knowledge, which was taught to him from his Lord without acquisition (from other means), without effort, without any formal training from any teacher, and he is…
Alladi yajidoonahu: who they find in all of the books of the faiths…
Maktooban: written about in those books, about his being sent and his religion and his name and his appearance and all of his attributes…
Ayndahum fi Torat wal Ineel: in the Torat and in the Injeel, Bible, that when he will announce his Prophet-hood…
Ya’monohum bil ma’roof and yanhahum ayn al munkir ya yahillu lahum tayyebaat: who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair, and makes lawful for them the good things, which they forbid upon their own selves…
Wa yuharrimu alaihum: and makes unlawful for them impure things, which they made lawful for themselves…
Wa aidan: And also…
Yada’u anhum israhum: relieves them of their loads i.e. the burdens which they carry by leaving the world and detaching from it, which was more than their strength to bear, just like they cut their bodily parts by which they sinned and just like they cut the cloth they wore if it became soiled and other than this…
Wa; he also made them free…
Al aghlaal: of their shackles i.e. the painful difficulties…
Allati kanat alaihim falladina aamino bihi: which came upon them. So those who believed in him, (the Messenger peace be upon him), when he was sent and gave his invitation (towards the One-ness of Allah)…
Wa azzaruhu: and they honoured him in the way that he was deserving of honour and glorification…
Wa nasaruhu: and they helped him, supporting him in his religion…
Wstaba’u an Noor: and they followed The Light, which is the Quran…
Alladi unzila ma’hu: which is sent with him from Allah to help him and to testify…
Ulaika: these are the ones who are the fortunate and radiant and accepted by Allah. They are the Al Muwwafiqoon, the ones given the ability to follow him.
Humul muflihoon: It is they who are the successful ones i.e. Al Muqassaroon, the ones who are confined by Him in success and triumph with victory.
It wasn’t a surprise why Gen Z was not interested in relationships or marriage. It sounded like a nightmare. And it wasn’t just in the West. Even in China that was trying to be the exact opposite in every single way to the US faced the same issue. Young Chinese were deciding at an early age not to marry and it wasn’t in small numbers:
Insider, October 11th, 2021; “That's according to a new survey of China's young urban population conducted by a wing of China's Communist Youth League. The survey polled 2,905 unmarried youths living in Chinese cities between the ages of 18 and 26. It found that 44% of its female respondents did not intend to get married, with a sizeable 25% of the survey's male respondents saying the same.
As for why these Chinese Gen Z-ers don't want to get hitched, 34.5% of those surveyed cited "not having the time or energy to get married." Meanwhile, 60.8% of the Chinese Gen Z-ers polled said they found it "difficult to find the right person.
Participants mentioned several other reasons for not getting married, including the financial cost of marriage and the economic burden of having children. A third of the respondents also said they did not believe in marriage, and a similar percentage said they had never been in love.”
No wonder every time they were surveyed on the idea of having a robot as a life companion they responded, “I would definitely consider it.” Who wouldn’t? On top of that the rapid emergence of virtual reality, the hard pusher of which was the fountainhead of evil, Meta previously Facebook, was going to end up in self-isolation for entire generations on a whole new level.
I had just started noticing the difference that isolation makes to a human being’s nature. I had cousins and friends who were always homebound. There was a time I was impressed by it because it kept them safe from so much wrong. But once they hit their 40s, I noticed how it was also making them aggressive or deeply unhappy and bitter. They were looping would-be scenarios in their heads all day or playing back the sadness of the past and it showed on their faces. They were either gray or stern.
Then when they emerged from that self-entrapping bubble with something as simple as a sport or daily physical exercise, a weekly visit to someone’s house, and stuck to it for just a month, their faces brightened. They were happy, they smiled and spoke about things other than themselves. They were different!
I had been wondering on and off in the village about the verses in the Quran I had translated from about the nature of Man; we were impulsive, hasty, ungrateful, oppressive, transgressors, weak, despairing, contentious with God, miserly.
It would make me sad, even dejected. But I was forgetting the lines that made us the Best of Creation:
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَنَ فِىٓ أَحْسَنِ تَقْوِيمٍۢ
And We created Man in the best mould
Surah Teen, Verse 4
And after Allah takes oaths all great, He says…
Laqad khalaqnal insaana: Indeed, We created all Mankind…
Fi ahsan e taqweem: in the best form and the most balanced proportions because no other Creation is created more perfectly in form than them and they are perfectly formed in terms of their zahir, overt and batin, inner being. For this reason, We chose Man for our Vice-Regency from amongst all of Our Creation.
ثُمَّ رَدَدْنَهُ أَسْفَلَ سَفِلِينَ
Then We returned him to the lowest of the low,
Surah Teen, Verse 5
Summa: Then after this We willed differently, because of his wicked deeds…
Radadnahu: and returned him to the lowest of the low and we displaced him from that highest rank and that highest honour…
Asfala safeleen: to the lowest of the low and this is the set-up of the world, which causes them to to enter the valleys of fire and which is their chain of desires and which is their shackle of endless hopes.
إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّلِحَتِ فَلَهُمْ أَجْرٌ غَيْرُ مَمْنُونٍۢ
Except those who believe and do righteous deeds, then for them is a reward never ending.
Surah Teen, Verse 5
Illaladina amino: Except for the ones who are certain of the One-ness of God…
Wa amilo salihaat: and do righteous deeds that are deeply sincere, free from all the entrapments of the world. Deeds that will bring them close to Allah’s Essence.
Qari Sahib emphasized that freedom from entrapments.
“It means that whatever you do, nothing and no one in the world can figure into your intention behind it. It has to be only and only about Allah, for Allah. That is the meaning of sincere.”
He was echoing Ghaus Pak:
“O you who seeks ilm, knowledge! Without amal, deed, there is no trust upon your knowledge and without ikhlaas, sincerity, there is no trust upon your deed. For it is like a body without a soul.
The symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people when they praise you nor when they are critical of you and and the symbol of your sincerity is that you don’t turn your attention towards people or the wealth that is in their hands.”
Fa lahum: So for them, after that when they reach (again) the highest ranks towards the Alim e Lahoot, the Realm of Allah…
Ajrun ghairu mamnoon: are endless blessings that will never finish and nor will Allah mention His Favour ever for giving them.
Here Qari Sahib pointed out that of the four types of rewards, ajr, the highest is ajrun ghairu mamnoon because it is the one that is bestowed to His Beloved (peace be upon him). And his followers receive it just for following him.
وَإِنَّ لَكَ لَأَجْرًا غَيْرَ مَمْنُونٍۢ
And indeed, for you, O Beloved (peace be upon you), is surely a reward without end.
Surah Al Qalam, Verse 3
Then the day I finished this piece, I read a verse in the Quran which explained the order of things that I always lose sight of. So often the verses about evil and Allah’s Control over each and every thing create the impression that we are therefore faultless and should not be liable. But then I had already studied it. I had even titled it:
“The Wickedness and Goodness in Us.”
وَنَفْسٍۢ وَمَا سَوَّىٰهَا
Consider the human spirit and who perfected it.
Surah Ash Shams, Verse 7
Tafseer e Jilani:
Wa nafsin: Allah takes an oath upon the spirit that receives nourishment from His Names and Attributes, which is revealed in all forms which are named (by Him). The spirit comes into the organs (in these bodies), both higher (the angels) and lower (Mankind but not Jinn) so that everything can gain benefit from the remembrance of their origin and their true purpose of existence.
Wa ma sawaaha: And He takes an oath on Himself who made this spirit, meaning He made it moderate and created it as a compound fitted with the influences of the higher (heavenly) and the lower (earthly) elements.
فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَىٰهَا
قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّىٰهَا
وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّىٰهَا
And He inspired it (to distinguish) its wickedness and its righteousness.
Indeed, he succeeds who purifies it,
And indeed, he fails who buries it (in darkness).
Surah Ash Shams, Verse 8-10
Tafseer e Jilani:
Fa alhamaha fujuraha wa taqwaha: So He inspired it (the nafs) to both, wickedness and mindfulness, according to that which is placed in it from the forces of heavens as well as of the Earth. Then He burdened it according to what it can bear so that the one who is truthful can be differentiated from the one who is false, and the astray from the guided, and the denier of Truth from the believer, completing the wisdom, which is rooted in certainty, which reaches the Essence of Allah and which reflects the Dominance of His Power.
Qad aflaha man zakkaha: Indeed he was successful and prosperous due to the success He prospered by receiving from Allah the highest ranks…
Man zakkaha: the one who cleansed his nafs from the vileness of the world and from the possibilities of the demands of its desires and its lusts.
Wa qad khaba: And he was in a loss and ruined himself…
Man dassaha: the one who prevented the nafs from reaching its higher level (from Ammara, corrupt to Mutma’inna, content) and made it wayward. He did this by persuading it to be disobedient and sinful, which was done due to the demands of its base nature, its lustful desires and the wickedness of the world. This persuasion is what makes it deserving of different kinds of losses and deprivation and humiliation.
Humiliation!
My coach seems manic. Shaan is on the spectrum. He’s likely an Aspie, a friend of mine who works with autistic kids told me. I thought it was interesting that two people were front and center in my life who were like that: so specific. One morning my coach was obliterating me in the game when Shaan strolled by. He asked the score.
“Almost 4-0,” I said with a grin. “But we have a winner-takes-all.” I looked at my teacher hopefully.
“We always have that,” he smiled.
Just as we were about to start that last game, I heard the call to prayer. I looked at Shaan and said, “Should we stop play?”
He smiled and shrugged. “It’s your choice.” Aap ki marzi hai.
I had seen him stop playing with his football in the park once, holding the ball in his hand, so I had walked over to ask what happened.
He had just pointed his finger at the sky.
“It’s the Azaan.”
Later I asked him why he didn’t play because of it.
“We only do one thing when the Azaan comes,” I said to him. We being the ones with some money. “No listening to music. That’s it! So do you do that out of adab, respect, not play?”
He just looked at me and said, “It’s the Azaan. And it was the Friday prayer,” with emphasis as if it made the answer obviously clear.
So on that day I said to my coach, “Sir lets pause play till the end of the Azaan.”
He agreed. Then I beat him and won the all of the day’s play. It was exhilarating. When we walked to the benches to get our stuff, I said to him, “I can’t believe I won that game sir.”
He looked over at me and said, “It’s the blessing you received because you showed respect for the Azaan.”
Qari Sahib asked our group class recently what came first. Ilm, knowledge or adab, manners? I was sure it was adab. Without manners nothing seemed to be bestowed to anyone. I raised my hand and answered.
“No,” he said. “Ilm comes first. The seeking of knowledge, the attaining of it.”
Then he recited the first four verses of Surah Rahman.
ٱلرَّحْمَنُ
عَلَّمَ ٱلْقُرْءَانَ
خَلَقَ ٱلْإِنسَنَ
عَلَّمَهُ ٱلْبَيَانَ
The Most Merciful,
He taught the Quran.
He created Man.
He then taught him speech.
Surah Ar Rahman, Verses 1-4
“First Allah bestowed the knowledge, then He says He created Man. That is the order.”
It was clear that the verses were specific to Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him), the first creation. Al Insaan, the man. I had yet to receive the lecture from Qari Sahib on his hadith, as explained by Hazrat Muhyuddin Ibn e Arabi, that expounded on that, “I am the Noor, the light, the Qalam, the pen and the Aql, the power to reflect.”
All three!
My favourite passage from Al Fath Ar Rabbano this year was the following story. So much so that it was in my speech at the launch of the tables in the Park. I was besotted by it. The short-cut: how to gain Allah’s Pleasure, previously definitely out of reach, was like finding that one drop of rain that becomes a pearl!
“An incident goes that the people of Bani Israel once were faced with a suffering. They gathered and went to the Prophet of their time. ‘What can we do, O Nabi (as)?’ they asked him.
“What is the deed that will please Allah and it becomes the means to deliver us from our hardship?”
The Prophet (as) prayed to Allah to unveil to him what that deed would be.
Allah Subhan a Ta’ala revealed to his Prophet (as), “Tell them! If you seek My Pleasure, become a cause to bring happiness to the needy. Thus if you bring ease to them, in their happiness I will become pleased with you. And if you displease them, I will remain displeased with you.”
When I read that story for the 100th time, I understood the gift of Shaan. Throughout my life, which really only counted for the last ten years that I was made mindful of my soul, in my deeds which were at least sincere in terms of the intent to please my Lord, the pleasure I sought was in fact always momentary. Yet I was content with that.
The rations I distributed brought a smile to someone’s face pleasing them no doubt, but it was a moment and I was almost always never there for those. My driver was. The food I distributed daily, it made people happy but again it was a moment and again I was never there. My driver was. I had no personal involvement beyond doling out the money, suggesting the food items, the neighborhoods. I was always sitting at home. If I had gone, I would have ended up just sitting in a car anyway so I didn’t. Yet I was content with my deeds.
Shaan made me realize that maybe Allah or Nabi Kareem (saw) or Ghaus Pak (ra) or Hazrat Pir Sakhi Turad Murad Shah (ra) or my Spiritual Master and all the Masters who I deeply revered were pointing something out to me; Seeking the Pleasure of Allah is not for x minutes a day every day, like a rote exercise. It’s not like the prayer you utter thinking about other things. It’s sought all day and all night. Like breath! It is what one lives for. It’s not what one does, it’s what one becomes; an existence seeking Divine Pleasure.
Since I took Shaan under my wing, I was aware of him throughout my day. In my actions and in my prayers, whether I was in Lahore or out of it. But he was not blood. He was not a friend. He was simply a human being that was sent into my life to care for. Shaan was the means for me to reach Allah’s Pleasure in every moment.
I heard in a lecture of Uzair’s weeks ago something about all of our relationships in this world.
“So one thinks, I get along with some people, I don’t get along with others. Remember that the root of that discord is a single element, the ego. The rule is that whenever there is animosity between two souls or any groups of souls, feeling anger or hate or mistrust or suspicion, the reason behind it is the ego, which creates fire in the relationship. And conversely, when the relationship between two souls is loving, nur, light, emanates from it. So why is it light between some and fire between others?
Hazrat Ayesha Siddiqua (ratu) asked Huzoor once, ‘Why is it that sometimes with people I have known all my life, we are estranged with each other while with others, who I have not known as long at all, I feel like we have known each other forever?’
And you see some people even parents and children and spouses married forever, seem like they are stranger to each other.
Huzoor (saw) replied, ‘The reason is that when the souls were gathered on Youm e Alast, the Day when all the souls created were gathered and Allah had them wait for His Vision, the souls in that waiting which lasted years, started roaming around. The soul does not have an ego so in that wandering, whichever soul came across another, love was formed between them because of that meeting.’
That is why the relationship between the disciple and the Spiritual Master is always of love from the beginning. They will never feel estranged. There will never be ego between them. They met on that Day even though they might not have met their siblings or parents or children.
Then Huzoor continues, ‘And the souls that could not meet there, they come into the world and even though they might live side by side forever, they are estranged.’”
I decided not to say anything to my staff about what I had learnt behind their backs. Let things play out the way they are meant to be played out for I did not possess the ability to do so without giving them bad news and repelling them. But it wasn’t that easy. The person in question was spiraling out of control. My tongue was silent but my nafs was matching their madness after madness. I would pendulum between anger and some pretense of patience. Shaitan inserted and re-inserted the same seed and vanished, triggering in me a false sense of dignity.
Night after night when I woke for the prayer before the morning prayer, the one favoured by Allah because it was supposedly only Him and me alone, my worship was executed in a state of daze. The strangest, most inane, thoughts circled in my head and I felt like I wasn’t even on standing on the prayer mat, just floating on my nafs above it. I felt so ashamed I couldn’t even cry.
On the fourth morning, I sat in my bed torturing myself for a full hour until I realized, if I continued like this I wouldn’t be able to pray ever. I looked at my bedside and the collection of books on it. On top was Al Fath Ar Rabbani. I pulled out my pen to take notes, went to my bookmark and this is what I came upon:
“Stay away from all of them (nafs, the base self, duniya, the world, al hawa the desires, tab’a, nature (of Man) and aqran assu’, corrupting companions) for all of them are your enemies. And there is no one who is your Muhib, your True Friend, except Allah Azzo Jal.
He loves you for your self and others love you for their own sake. When you lose your nafs in the state of your khalwat, state of seclusion, and wish it to be in the company of the Talibeen, the Friends of God, then at this point your seclusion becomes filled with the love of Allah Azzo Jal.”
I felt amazed. My nafs was front and center, parading through my state of seclusion. Then Ghaus Pak (ra) stated the other way for seclusion to be filled with Divine Love.
“When you can leave your nafs with the world and your qalb with the Afterlife and your Sirr, the inner being, with your Maula, Allah, at this point will your seclusion become in love with Allah.
And in the presence of your nafs or the presence of other nafoos, others, your seclusion is not true seclusion.
Seclusion with Allah is when it is with Him without all others. You will find Him after you finally hold bughz, intense dislike (in your heart), towards others. When will you purify yourself so that you will see The Purity and The Pure One? When will you become truthful so that you see The Truth and The True One? When will you attain ikhlas, sincerity, so that you can see the Door of Allah Azzo Jal and Allah Himself?”
I paused throughout the reading feeling stunned. It brought into focus what the dilemma had made me, turned me into, in a matter of days. The person in my staff was doing a few things, one of which was pilfering. That had forced me to take the money of their hands and place it into my own. Which meant there was adding and subtracting and worst of all counting. Knowing all the while and quoting it umpteenth times that the Quran said; In the counting lay the trap of being a miser!
وَيْلٌۭ لِّكُلِّ هُمَزَةٍۢ لُّمَزَةٍ
ٱلَّذِى جَمَعَ مَالًۭا وَعَدَّدَهُۥ
Woe to every slanderer, backbiter,
the one who collects wealth and counts it.
Surah Al Humazah, Verse 1-2
When I looked up the verse in the Book I was taken aback by what the Surah was called: Al Humazah - “The Slanderer, The Gossip-monger.”
Tafseer e Jilani:
Waylu: The greatest evil and most massively intense destruction for every one amongst all people…
Le kulle humaza: for everyone who is sarcastic, the one walks among people with sarcasm and disgraces people’s sense of dignity and it becomes for him, this low-life habit, an ugly practice, permanent and forever, and also for every…
Lumaza: person is the who finds faults in others, deriding them about their ancestry and assigning them with different kinds of abuses to (being born from) prostitutes and without fathers, accusing them and being suspicious of them.
And nothing has made this person daring enough and inclined towards this ugly habit and wrongful deed except his wealth and his riches and his status and his role of leadership (in society). So indeed he is…
Alladi jama’ maalan: the one who gathers wealth and baggage from the decorations of the valueless world, towards which are leaning hearts of the worldly people and their companions.
Wa addadahu: And he keeps counting it, (the money).
Yahsabu anna maalahu akhladahu: thinking that, without doubt, his wealth will always allow him to remain i.e. it will be forever and maintain his naf (self) endlessly and make him the one who will always be in the world, living in it forever, to the extent that he thinks that never will he experience decline or transfer of it.
And overall, he is in a deception because of his wealth and his status to the degree that he thinks it will be with him forever due to his boastfulness and his delusion.”
That tracking of expenses and budgets had turned me into a stingy person in a matter of two days. That was one reason for my sustained state of restlessness.
Hazrat Yahya (as) had once asked Iblis: “Who do you think of as a friend amongst Mankind and who do you consider your enemy?
Iblis replied, “I love the Mo’min bakheel, the one who has brought faith and is a miser. But I dislike the Fasiq, the defiantly disobedient sinner who is generous.”
The Prophet Yahya (as) asked, “Why?”
He explained, “Because the miserliness of the miser will eventually destroy him so I don’t have to worry about misleading him. But the sinner who is generous worries me that because of his generosity, maybe Allah will look upon him with Mercy and forgive him his sins.”
Then as he left he said, “You were a Prophet, otherwise I would never have revealed this secret before anyone.”
No wonder all the Spiritual Masters only had one question for their disciples at the end of each day; was there anything left that could have been distributed? If there was, they were deeply saddened, comparing themselves to the worst of evil tyrants, Pharoah and Qaroon. If there wasn’t, they felt ease and felt the scent of The Beloved (peace be upon him) and his family around them. Subhan Allah!
I had seen the door of miserliness but I had not passed through it. I had just stood under it restless, anxious, miserable, stuck! It made me realize that I walked through those doors so much more easily when my emotions, as reactions, even when negative, had to do with others. But in relationship to myself, I could be frozen for a while. In the blame game with someone else, I couldn’t see myself and I was made to finally understand why people are the veil that will never allow me to see my nafs.
“Remember! Makhlooq, creation, is the veil over your nafs, ego. And your ego is the veil over your qalb that prevents you from recognizing your Lord. And your qalb is the veil over your batin, the inner being. So as long as you remain stuck with people, you will not be able to see your nafs.”
That morning I went to the shrine of Pir Sakhi Turat Murad Shah (ra) in Bagh e Jinnah after several days. I did not play. The city was covered in a cloud of fog. I played Catch with Shaan for a bit and they he and I walked to the Mazaar. I went inside and laid my temple on the marble at the foot of his tomb, pressing down on it, letting the coldness enter my mind, hoping something from inside it would travel to my heart.
Then finally the tears came and I said, “Baba Ji, I didn’t come to see you for so many days and my life fell into ruin.” I cried and cried and kept repeating myself. “I became ruined. Everything fell apart and I now I am ruined.”
When I walked back to the parking with Shaan who was bouncing a rubber ball we bought, I thought about how if someone like me, who was knee deep in the so-called acquisition and pursuit of knowledge could waiver and find themselves light years from any center, what was the surprise that others, who didn’t even consider it, were floating deep inside black holes?
I saw myself falling into the abyss of the asfal as safileen – the lowest of the low. And a verse, one of many, when I have translated and names and faces of people have come to mind, in unintentional (yet) judgment nonetheless, came to mind for my own self. A verse that I would have never in a million years thought would ever apply to me.
Because I felt destroyed!
وَمَن يَعْشُ عَن ذِكْرِ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ نُقَيِّضْ لَهُۥ شَيْطَـٰنًا فَهُوَ لَهُۥ قَرِينٌ
And whoever turns a blind eye to the remembrance of the Most Compassionate,
We place at the disposal of each one from the party of Iblis as their close associate,
Surah Az-Zukruf, Verse 36
Tafseer e Jilani:
Wa mayya’shu: and the one who turns away physically as well as from the heart…
An dikr Ar Rahman: from the Quran, which explains for this person the way to imaan, faith and irfaan, Recognition of Allah, due to excessive lustful desires and attractions for the senses which are worldly…
Nuqayyad lahu: We give control and power over him to…
Shaytan an: Iblis and his party, who misguides him, and seduces him and whispers doubts into his heart, and destroys him.
Fa huwa: Shaitaan then becomes…
Lahu Qareen: attached to him forever, beautifying for him that which is sinful and that which is wrong and makes him deluded into believing those things until he makes him enter into the fire which cuts and deprives him from Allah’s Mercy.
It was Qari Sahib who had pointed out how Ghaus Pak (ra) described “remembrance of God:” the Quran. Then he told me a hadith that elucidated the verse:
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
مَا مِنْكُمْ مِنْ أَحَدٍ إِلَّا وَقَدْ وُكِّلَ بِهِ قَرِينُهُ مِنْ الْجِنِّ
قَالُوا وَإِيَّاكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ
قَالَ وَإِيَّايَ إِلَّا أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَانَنِي عَلَيْهِ فَأَسْلَمَ فَلَا يَأْمُرُنِي إِلَّا بِخَيْرٍ
The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, “There is no one amongst you except that next to him is an associate from the Jinn (who propels him towards sin.)
The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Even with you?”
He replied, “And even with me except that Allah helped me against him and he surrendered so (now) he doesn’t say order me towards anything except goodness.
But I read the Quran and I listened to it and I even worked on translating exegesis of it, yet there were times he was a close associate. In my prayers, I invoked association with the Friends of God all day long. Yet I lost the calm of my prayer in a second. It vanished and became replaced by noise. Why? And then I knew. It was because my words were without meaning. My deeds were without sincerity.
I remembered a lecture of Uzair’s in which he spoke about the Quran and how it was a living thing. Not a book, not words printed on paper. That is why Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) was called the living Quran. He was why Allah placed the exception to everything in deed. And that deed only counted if it was in emulation of His Beloved (peace be upon him).
During the days of self-inflicted torture, I had asked the Quran what to do about the situation with the missing money. The options of punitive measures kept looping in my head. The verse that came said it all:
يَسْـَٔلُونَكَ عَنِ ٱلسَّاعَةِ أَيَّانَ مُرْسَىٰهَا ۖ
قُلْ إِنَّمَا عِلْمُهَا عِندَ رَبِّى ۖ
لَا يُجَلِّيهَا لِوَقْتِهَآ إِلَّا هُوَ ۚ
ثَقُلَتْ فِى ٱلسَّمَوَتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ ۚ
They ask you about the Hour, when will be its appointed time?
Say, "Its knowledge rests only with my Lord,
None but Him an reveal its time.
It lays heavily in the heavens. Nor will it come to you but suddenly.
Surah Al Araaf, Verse 187
In that instant, I became of what had become absent in my life, draining away in some second when I was unaware: reliance upon God. Shaan walked by the room as I read the verse with Qari Sahib, holding his tennis ball, baseball cap on head, shades stuck on top of it. I had said to him more than a few times;
“You’re like a bird Shaan. You wake with the dawn and sleep at 7.”
I was saying it in that context specifically of timing but he was like a bird in many other ways; the creature amongst Creation that was the highest in rank in the animal kingdom. He didn’t know when his next meal would come. He didn’t know from where. Or even if. Yet he never thought about it. Or cared about it or expected it. It didn’t seem to cross his mind at all. He was detached from everything. Truly detached. Not like me who said it, even felt like I felt it. But too often, on the heels of that feeling was my ego in one form or another so it was not true.
When I had said that he had responded with annoyance, turning his face away like a kid, “I’m a tiger and you’ve made me a bird. At least call me an eagle!”
I smiled. Like I always smile at what he says.
I understood just recently why tawakkul, reliance, was elusive for me. There when I didn’t need it and absent when it was required. The prerequisite for it was sidq. I knew the word to mean truth but I looked it up. There were four types of it; wafa – devotion or constancy, yaqeen – certainty, ikhlas – sincerity, sehha – state of being true and salama – genuineness.
Ghaus Pak (ra) in Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “Be of sidq in your words and your deed and be patient in all your states. Sidq is actually the One-ness of Allah, Tauheed and it is ikhlas, sincerity and it is tawakkul, reliance upon Him.
The reality of reliance is the cutting off of all means and people and disassociating from the idea that it is because of your own strength and ability. To the extent that your qalb and your sirr desire connection with Him, cut off all other means of connection other than Him and keep yourself away from them and them away from you. Keep yourself away from the happenings until you connect with Al Muhdis, The One who is the Creator of them. While you remain with your self or your other wordly means, you cannot succeed.”
Once I asked Shaan to tell me something about the time he spent in the park and he said this.
“When you walk in the sun under open skies and your sweat falls on the ground, the scent of one drop of it tells you who you are as a person.”
I listened to his words not understanding a single one. I had never walked in the sun except when I wanted to. The skies were open for me only when I chose them to be. No wonder I had no clue who I was as a person.
In my intrusive line of questioning, I shifted gears into second and asked, “What should one ask God for Shaan?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, his face lit, he said, “There’s no need to ask Him for anything. If he wants to give you something, He will give it.”
It wasn’t any wonder he never asked anyone for anything. He was trained by his Lord to only rely on Him. He was a marvel!
I discovered recently the root of humiliation. It was expectation. As soon as one does something for one, expectation enters the dynamic invisibly. As soon as one asks someone for anything, expectation enters. When it is not met, which is eventually inevitable, it turns to disappointment for a moment. Then it converts to what lasts; humiliation. Unquestionably, it is the worst feeling a human being can experience.
It’s been the worst for me for sure of any emotion. It causes rage and then a drowning in self-pity. I have claimed to love, then hated persons who caused it. Then I have felt badly for hating them and the cycle repeated. It felt like I was burning in a fire where I was dousing the fuel upon myself and a hadith came to mind describing me to myself:
أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ،
يَقُولُ : إِنَّمَا مَثَلِي وَمَثَلُ النَّاسِ ، كَمَثَلِ رَجُلٍ اسْتَوْقَدَ نَارًا فَلَمَّا أَضَاءَتْ مَا حَوْلَهُ ،
جَعَلَ الْفَرَاشُ وَهَذِهِ الدَّوَابُّ الَّتِي تَقَعُ فِي النَّارِ يَقَعْنَ فِيهَا ،
فَجَعَلَ يَنْزِعُهُنَّ وَيَغْلِبْنَهُ فَيَقْتَحِمْنَ فِيهَا ،
فَأَنَا آخُذُ بِحُجَزِكُمْ عَنِ النَّارِ وَهُمْ يَقْتَحِمُونَ فِيهَا .
The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said,
"My example and the example of the people is that of a man who made a fire, and when it lighted what was around it, moths and other insects started falling into the fire. The man tried (his best) to prevent them, (from falling in the fire) but they overpowered him and rushed into the fire.
The Prophet (ﷺ) added: Now, similarly, I take hold of the knots at your waist (belts) to prevent you from falling into the Fire, but you insist on falling into it."
Humiliation coming my way was one thing. It was my pursuit of it that was astonishing. It always came under my favourite guise of goodness and kindness that I loved to don. Always false! That’s why it was never the humiliation that brought one closer to God. I never bore it for His Sake. I bore it for mine. Just like people love people for their own sake.
Turns out that my rayakari, showing off, is mostly between me and my nafs. When I did something “generous” or “kind,” then thought to myself, “That was pretty cool huh?” My nafs just looked back at me silently, deadpan but what it was really saying all the while was, “Give it a day. Then tell me how you did feels.”
Sometimes I cry because I think I have moved from the base nafs, Ammara to the one above it, Lawamma, the “accusatory or self-reproaching self” but then I see myself push it back to becoming the worst one again. I do it myself, knowingly and unknowingly, intentionally and unintentionally, caught between the traps delicately lay out by my own justifications and my “false sense of dignity.” In that fire that I fall into, even the creatures of fire, the Shayateen, move away from me.
I cannot do anything, barely take a step in any direction, without falling, slipping, erring. I am not of the ones who know to leave the nafs with the world and the qalb with the Hereafter and the sirr with The Protector. For as I found, even if the nafs could be tamed, the doubts sowed by Man’s mortal enemy could always sprout, even at one’s death-bed after living a life exemplary in every single way because Iblis spares no one:
Imam Raazi (ra) was a Persian polymath, Islamic scholar and a pioneer of inductive logic. He wrote various works in the fields of medicine, chemistry, physics, astronomy, cosmology, literature, theology, ontology, philosophy, history and jurisprudence.
He was one of the earliest proponents and skeptics that came up with the concept of Multiverse, and compared it with the astronomical teachings of Quran. A rejector of the geocentric model and the Aristotelian notions of a single universe revolving around a single world, Al-Raazi argued about the existence of the outer space beyond the known world.
“When he was on his deathbed, Iblis came to the Imam (ra) to give his last best effort to make break his faith, take it away from him.
With this in mind, Iblis asked him a question, “You spent your entire life in seeing the Signs of Allah and loving Him. Did you ever recognize God?”
The Imam (ra) replied, “Without doubt Allah is One.”
Iblis said, “Where is your proof for it?”
Imam Fakhar al Din al Raazi (ra) gave him a daleel (an argument as evidence). Iblis, once the Ustad of the Angels, dismissed the argument. The Imam (ra) presented a second case. He defeated that as well. The conversation continued until the Imam (ra) had given 360 arguments and Iblis had dispelled all of them. The Imam (ra) became gravely perplexed and started to lose hope.
Imam Fakhar al Din al Raazi (ra) was the disciple of Hazrat
Najmuddin Kubra (ra), one of the most favoured disciples of Ghaus Pak (ra). Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) could see the whole incident unfolding before him from afar.
He was performing ablution and during it, he called out to his disciple, “Why don’t you just say, ‘I have brought faith upon God without any argument.’”
I have one hope alone for love to enter my seclusion: The Talibeen.
“When you lose your nafs in the state of your khalwat, state of seclusion, and wish it to be in the company of the Talibeen, the Friends of God, then at this point your seclusion becomes filled with the love of Allah Azzo Jal.”
When I reached home, I spoke to said staff member who I had been forgiving every day and trying to keep track to see when I would clear 70, the number Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) had said was the number of times to forgive an employee of the home for mistakes they made. I cleared the air completely. We both relaxed. The tension between everyone broke and the mood of the house changed. It went back to how it was; happy!
Like the Earth, I orbit around myself and my self orbits around words. Allah’s in the Quran, His Beloved’s (peace be upon him) in the ahadith. And then there’s mine, which are most often without meaning. I circled back to Maulana Rum (ra).
What you seek is seeking you.
When I run after what I believe I want,
my days are a furnace of stress and tension.
But if I sit in my own place of patience,
what I need flows to me itself, without any pain.
From this I understand that
what I am seeking is also seeking me
is looking for me and attracting me.
There is a great (Divine) Secret here
for those who can comprehend it.
Ghaus Pak (ra) says, “Let there be no doubt that God has given me His Word that fire will never touch those who are amongst mine and they will die being believers.” That fire, I had been reading in his tafseer of Surah Tauba, is “the worst, most terrible abode of the ones deprived and rejected from acceptance by Allah. That fire is being cast away from His Mercy and to be forgotten by Him.”
It’s funny. People forget the one they loved intensely but they never forget the one who loved them with blind devotion. One by one I have forgotten them all, those I loved. Certainly everyone forgot me. All that is left of love in my life for a long time now is what I receive from the Friends of God. Their love elucidates the meanings of sidq. All four of them! It’s like Shaan’s. All my focus on them only informs me about myself.
The greatest upside of “sitting in patience,” when I have been allowed to do it, was that it forced sincerity naturally in my deed. The pause allowed me to consider my intention closely. Even when I didn’t consider it, the time in that pause revealed my intention to me. Why was I about to do that which I was about to do. In each and every overture I made otherwise, my ego was the protagonist. It was just invisible.
In a reaction though, as opposed to the action in the pursuit of want, there always lies the possibility of emulation. Of the Masters of the souls and their Master, Ghaus Pak (ra) and his Master, Maula Ali (ratu) and his Master, the Prophet of God (peace be upon him). That too is invisible. It holds within it a true chance that might make me not a deceiver, for my own self nor any other. The notion alone makes me feel calm. Now when I stare at the gorgeous sky from my bedroom in Lahore just after sunset, I finally see before me what I have only dreamed about; the stillness of sincerity.
Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani:
The purification of “asraar,” the plural of sirr, that which is nourished by the Bounty of Allah, come from the absence of thoughts (which are doubts and paranoia).
The purification of the souls, ruh, comes from shedding thoughtlessness.
The purification of the quloob, the Seat of Recognition of Allah, comes from giving up desires that are forbidden.
The purification of the aqool, the power to reflect, lies in the disappearance of ignorance.
The purification of the nafoos, the base self, is to abstain from ingratitude and the denial of Truth.
And the purification of the physical self comes from the avoidance of sins.
The one who was loved by Allah from the beginning, He makes them pure in the world from that which might distract him even for a single moment from His Being. So indeed, the true lover does not abandon his beloved in any situation that might harm him.
Bagi orang yang memasuki dan mengambil thariqah Qodiriah
wan Naqsyabandiyah ini, maka dia harus melaksanakan kaifiah atau tata
cara sebagai berikut; 1. Datang kepada guru mursyid untuk memohon izin
memasuki thariqahnya dan menjadi muridnya. Hal ini dilakukan sampai
memperoleh izinnya. 2. Mandi taubat yang dilanjutkan dengan shalat
taubah dan shalat hajat. 3. Membaca istighfar 100 kali. 4. Shalat
istikharah, yang bisa dilakukan sekali atau lebih sesuai dengan
petunjuk sang Mursyid. 5. Tidur miring kanan dan menghadap kiblat
sambil membaca shalawat Nabi Saw sampai tertidur. Setelah lima hal
tersebut dilakukan, selanjutnya adalah; Pelaksanaan Talqin Dzikir/Bai’
at dengan cara kurang lebihnya seperti tersebut di atas. Melakukan
puasa dzir-ruh (puasa sambil menghindari memakan makanan yang berasal
dari yang bernyawa) selama 41 hari. Baru setelah itu, dia tercatat
sebagai murid thariqah qodiriyah wan naqsyabandiyah. Adapun setelah
menjadi murid thariqah ini, dia berkewajiban mengamalkan wirid-wirid
sebagai berikut; a. Diawali dengan membaca: ىهلا تنا ىدوصقم كاضرو
ىبولطم , كتبحمىنطعا كتفرعمو الو لوح الو ةوق الا هللاب ىلعلا ميظعلا 3 ×
b. Hadrah Al-Fatihah kepada Ahli silisilah Thariqah Qodiriah wan
Naqsyabandiyah. c. Membaca Al-Ikhlas 3 kali,Al- Falaq 1kali, dan
An-Nas 1 kali. d. Membaca shalawat umm 3 kali. مهللا لص ىلع انديس دمحم
ىبنلا ىمالا ىلعو هلا هبحصو ملسو e. Membaca istighfar 3 kali. رفغتسا
هللا روفغلا ميحرلا f. Rabithah kepada guru mursyid sambil membaca:
هلاال الا هللا يح قاب , ال هلا الا هللا يح دوجوم , ال هلا الا هللا يح
دوبعم g. Membaca dzikir nafi itsbat (ال هلا الا هللا ) ) enam puluh
lima kali. kemudian dilanjutkan dengan; h. Membaca lagi: ىهلا تنا
ىدوصقم كاضرو ىبولطم , كتبحمىنطعا كتفرعمو الو لوح الو ةوق الا هللاب
ىلعلا ميظعلا 3 × i. Menenangkan dan mengkonsentrasikan
hati ,kemudian kedua bibir dirapatkan sambil lidah ditekan dan gigi
direkatkan seperti orang mati, dan merasa bahwa inilah nafas
terakhirnya sambil mengingat alam kubur dan kiamat dengan segala
kerepotannya. j. Kemudian dengan hatinya mewiridkan dzikir ismudz-dzat
( (هللا seribu kali Keterangan: - Semua wirid tersebut dilaksanakan
setiap kali setelah shalat maktubah. - Untuk dzikir ismudz- dzat,
kalau sudah bisa istiqomah setelah shalat maktubah maka ditingkatkan
dengan di tambah qiyamul lail dan setelah shalat dhuha. - Untuk dzikir
ismudz-dzat boleh dilakukan sekali dengan cara di ropel 5000 x (bagi
yang masih ba’ da maktubah) aau 7000 X (bagi yang sudah di tingkatkan)
- Sikap duduk waktu melaksanakan wirid tersebut tidak ada keharusan
tertentu. Jadi bisa dengan cara tawarruk,iftirasy atau bersila. -
Bacaan aurad tersebut adalah bagi para mubtadi’ atau pemula. - Ajaran
aurad dan pelaksanaan amalan dzikir lainnya yang ada dalam thariqah
qodiriah wan Naqsyabandiyah ini secara lebih detail dan terperinci,
dapat diketahui apabila seseoang telah masuk menjadi anggotanya dan
meningkat ajarannya. Keterangan: -Informasi mengenai kaifiyah dan
amalan dalam thariqah qodiriyah wan naqsyabandiyah ini diperoleh dari
KH.Abdul Wahab Mahfudhi, seorang mursyid thariqah Qodiriyah wan
Naqsyabandiyah yang juga pengasuh pondok pesantren “ Asy-Syarifah” ,
Brumbung, Mranggen, Demak, Jawa Tengah. -Untuk kegiatan tawajuhhan di
tempat KH.Abdul Wahab Mahfudhi diadakan setiap hari selasa untuk
putri/ibu-ibu, dan setiap hari Rabu untuk putra/bapak- bapak, mulai
jam 08.00-12.00 wib. -Untuk pelaksanaan bai’ at, bisa dilakukan setiap
saat. Adapun sanad kemursyidan KH.Abdul Wahhab Mahfudhi adalah sebagai
berikut: KH.Abdul Wahhab Mahfudhi dari Syaikh Ihsan dari Syaikh
Muhammad Ibrahim dari Syaikh Abdul Karim Banten dari Syaikh Ahmad
Khotib Sambas dari Syaikh
Syamsudin dari Syaikh Muhammad Murodi dari Syaikh Abdul Fath dari
Syaikh Utsman dari Syaikh Abdurrahim dari Syaikh Abu Bakar dari
SyaikhYahya dari Syaikh Hisamudin dari Syaikh Waliuddin dari Syaikh
Nurrudin dari Syaikh Sarofudin dari Syaikh Samsudin dari Syaikh
Muhammad Al-Hatak dari Syaikh Abdul Aziz dari Sulthonul Auliya’
Sayyidisy Syaikh Abdul Qodir Al-Jilaniy dari Syaikh Abi Sa’ id
Al-Mubarak bin Mahzumi dari Syaikh Abul Hasan Ali Al- Makari dari
Syaikh Abu Farh At- Thurtusiy dari Syaikh Abdul Wahid At-Taimi dari
Syaikh Siir As-Saqthi dari SyaikhAbu Bakar As-Syibli dari Syaikh
Sayyidi Thoifah Ash- Shufiyah Abul Qasim Al-Junaid Al-Baghdadi dari
Syaikh Ma’ ruf Al-Kurkhi dari Syaikh Abu Hasan Ali Ar-Ridlo bin Musa
Ar- Rofi dari Syaikh Musa Al-Kadhim dari Syaikh Sayyidina Al-Imam Ja’
far Ash-Shadiq dari sayyidina Muhammad Al-Baqir dari sayyidina Al-Imam
Ali Zainal Abidin dari sayyidina Asy-Syahid Husein bin Sayyidatina
Fatimah Az- Zahro’ dari Sayyidina Ali bin Abi Thalib dari Sayyidil
Mursalin wa Habibi Rabbil-‘ Alamin wa Rasulillah ila Kaffatil-
Khola-iq Ajma’ in Muhammad Saw dari sayyidina Jibril AS dari
Rabbul-Arbab wa Mu’ tiqur Riqab Allah Swt.
Min al Jinnati wa Naas
(From the Jinn and Mankind)
Part II – The Cure
And what did it encompass; a warning!
قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ النَّاسِ
مَلِكِ النَّاسِ
إِلَٰهِ النَّاسِ
مِن شَرِّ الْوَسْوَاسِ الْخَنَّاسِ
الَّذِي يُوَسْوِسُ فِي صُدُورِ النَّاسِ
مِنَ الْجِنَّةِ وَالنَّاسِ
Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you), "I seek refuge in (the) Lord (of) Mankind,
The King of Mankind,
The God of Mankind,
from the evil (of) The Whisperer, the one who withdraws (after his whisper),
who whispers in the hearts of Mankind,
from the Jinn and Mankind.” – Surah An-Naas, Verse 1-6
“Introduction: Let it not be hidden upon the one for whom the secrets and Oneness have been opened. And for whom have been disclosed the world of the secrets of faith and Sirat e Mustaqeem (The Right Path), the one who holds on to the rope of ability from God and remains steadfast with his grip; It is necessary tha protect his nafs from the satanic fitna (temptations which causes adversity, affliction, ordeal) of Nafs e Ammara, which always inserts doubt (waswase) in the heart of Man.
The Nafs e Ammara traps him in different states of tightness and false thoughts (waham), until the hearts become crooked and then astray. That is why Allah has given advice by providing training to the Mo’min so that they can be warned and granted to them guidance.”
Uzair said once told me that nothing in the Quran repeats itself. Even when the words are the same the meaning is different. The Tafseer e Jilani was the most spectacular evidence of that fact. For each surah in the Quran, Ghaus Pak (ra) gives a completely different tafseer (exegesis) for the repeating verse, Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim, which was entirely related to the content and context of the specific body of text that was to follow. 114 different meanings of the words, “In the Name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful!”
Bismillah: In the name of Allah who is the Planner of the rightness of His Servants because His Blessings and Forgiveness warrant that.
Ar-Rahman: He protects them with the most special veils of His Protection.
Ar-Rahim: He warns them against the one, Satan, which gives them pain and tempts them as a well-wisher so that they may remain steadfast on the Right Path.
Min Sharr al-Waswase: From the doubts that rise in the hearts of Mankind and cause them to feel strife.
Al-Khannas: The one who runs away and then returns to the people because he sits in the hearts of Man. When they are conscious of God (in zikr Allah), he runs away and feels base.
And when Man is ghaafil (forgetful of God), he takes possession of their heart.
Thus the adversity, the unrest, the turmoil, the strife leaves and returns to the heart. For that is the nature of Iblis, to enter and leave and enter and leave.
Ghaus Pak (ra) continues:
Between the zikr of Allah and the doubts from Satan lies a veil such as there is between light and darkness. When one appears, the other disappears, like waham about that which is about to happen. When the result comes and it actually happens, the fear, the paranoia disappears. In the state of remembrance of God there is light. In its absence, there is darkness. So goes back and forth, the heart of man.
And then the last line:
Min al Jinnate wa Naas: The waswase, the doubts from Khannas want us to believe that Jinn and Man have the ability to affect by giving benefit or harm and that their effect is independent of God’s Will. So we place our hopes and wants with them, Jinn and Man, instead of Allah. And if we do that we fall into a state of eternal regret and an abyss of loss.
At the end of the Surah he closes with: “Be warned, be warned, O desirer of sincerity! Don’t run after desires and temptation. Satan’s tactic is to heighten the heart’s consciousness of the world, zikr ad-duniya, and the ways to attain it. That is what gives him the opportunity to enter the waswase that results in hell right here. But when a person stays away from desire to the best of their ability and is obedient to Allah to the best of their ability, angels whisper into their hearts and guide them away from the traps.”
(End Excerpt “The Softest Heart”)
And finally all the pieces of puzzle fit!
قَالُوا سُبْحَانَكَ أَنتَ وَلِيُّنَا مِن دُونِهِم ۖ بَلْ كَانُوا يَعْبُدُونَ الْجِنَّ ۖ أَكْثَرُهُم بِهِم مُّؤْمِنُونَ
When asked by God on the Day of Judgement if they were worshipped by Man, the angels replied, “They, in fact, worshiped the Jinns, not us. It was in them that most of them believed – Surah As-Saba, Verse 41
I decided to look up a more recent video of Sheikh Nurjan post virus. Technology wasn’t going anywhere. People had already established that their first love was their phone. It used to make me laugh how the Shiekh would, in the middle of his speech, sometimes with a smile, raise his own smart phone and wave it around, as if pointing to the demon in his device. The other noticeable element about his speech was that, unlike me who was jumping and down name calling, he never named any human, any organization or corporation. Nothing and no one!
I guess I knew why. For people like him the world holds zero significance. What others are doing and why was immaterial. He was following the Sunnah of the Prophets. No judgement of another, no matter who they are and what they do! That was left only to God. I made a mental note to be clearer about my own intention behind calling people out in my writing. I think I was telling myself it was to inform others but really it was contempt.
Funnily enough he did mention movies, Viper for one which I have not seen. Throughout his videos there were flashes of clips from various Hollywood flicks of the summer blockbuster variety. He was totally unfazed by demonic presence of Jinns anywhere. And why not? He knew exactly what they were up to and why. What was their mode of attack and how it could be repelled.
وَقَدْ مَكَرُوا مَكْرَهُمْ وَعِندَ اللَّهِ مَكْرُهُمْ وَإِن كَانَ مَكْرُهُمْ لِتَزُولَ مِنْهُ الْجِبَالُ
And they devise that false imagery of theirs - and all their false imagery is within God's knowledge, even if their false imagery were so (well devised and so powerful] that mountains could be moved thereby – Surah Ibrahim, Verse 46
Sheikh Nurjan’s message only reiterated Surah An-Naas. Taking anyone other than Allah as a helper only lead to inevitable suffering. The Quran spoke of it endlessly, from the day the rebellion began.
وَإِذْ قُلْنَا لِلْمَلَائِكَةِ اسْجُدُوا لِآدَمَ فَسَجَدُوا إِلَّا إِبْلِيسَ كَانَ مِنَ الْجِنِّ فَفَسَقَ عَنْ أَمْرِ رَبِّهِ ۗ
أَفَتَتَّخِذُونَهُ وَذُرِّيَّتَهُ أَوْلِيَاءَ مِن دُونِي وَهُمْ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ ۚ بِئْسَ لِلظَّالِمِينَ بَدَلًا
And when We said to the Angels, "Prostrate to Adam," so they prostrated except Iblis. (He) was of the Jinn, and he rebelled against the Command of his Lord. Will you then take him and his partners (as) protectors other than Me, while they are to you enemies? Wretched for the wrongdoers is the exchange – Surah Al-Kahf, Verse 50
فَلَوْلَا إِذْ جَاءَهُم بَأْسُنَا تَضَرَّعُوا وَلَٰكِن قَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَزَيَّنَ لَهُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ
Yet when the misfortune decreed by Us befell them, they did not humble themselves. But rather their hearts grew hard, for Satan had made all their doings seem goodly to them – Surah Al-Anam, Verse 43
What was bad appeared as good. And the hearts grew hard. Who else but the Prophet (saw) gave the cure.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Indeed, the hearts rust like iron rusts.”
They said, “So what will polish them?”
He replied, “The abundance of remembrance of Allah, recitation of the Quran and remembering death.
I used to think when I was reciting the Quran I was remembering Allah. From the hadith I learnt the abundance of remembering God was different and I realized remembrance was about mindfulness. It was about being aware of my deeds, my thoughts, my intentions. The effect they had on others and me. It was about acknowledging wrongfulness as it came about then repenting, praying to be instilled with ability to change. It was living within oneself in a state of truthfulness. For it was the Quran that affirmed that, at all times, I knew what I was doing anyway. Be it right or wrong.
So often in life I had heard the explanation given for those who were self absorbed that they “were not self-aware” even though when it came to anything inflicted upon them, the state of sensitivity was sky high. Surah Ash-Shams states that everyone is aware, that the self is programmed to differ between its right and wrongfulness. That meant I was in control of my behaviour at all times. If I relinquished control to Iblis or caved to my own decisions to do wrong, I knew it all times. I had just gotten used to living in a state of self-deceit and blaming others.
فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَاهَا
وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّاهَا قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّاهَا
And Allah inspired it (to distinguish) between its wickedness and its righteousness. Indeed he succeeds who purifies it. And indeed he fails who buries it – Surah Ash-Shams, Verse 4-5
The mindfulness part was true because just this Ramadan I had started the practice of asking for forgiveness every morning and night. Sometimes I felt remorse for my acts, especially my tongue, all day long. I had started asking Nabi Kareem (saw) to pray for me and ask God to forgive me so that He would be the Acceptor of my repentance and grant me ability to be better the next day. The forgiveness came so quickly I felt overwhelmed. Describing it as relief is an understatement. Shedding the unbearable weight of anxiety and disturbance within minutes, that’s nothing short of a miracle. In repeat no less!
Even remembering death, I used to think it meant being conscious of the Day of Judgment and therefore my actions in light of that. And I’m sure it is but in this world, that Day was easily forgotten by me most of the time. Everyone takes life for granted and assumes they will live well into their 70s, if not longer. My cousin, who I once, told the hadith to said that beyond the Last Day, she thought it was about not taking others for granted. It was about valuing them and loving them while they are around remembering that death would one day take them away, who knows when. But only those who lose loved ones early in life think like that.
“What you have to understand,” says Sheikh Nurjan, “is that you can battle this negative energy and defend yourself… Our life was to copy one reality which is the Prophet (saw), whose one side faces Allah and the other faces humanity. The Auliya Allah, the Friends of God, they want us to connect back to the Prophet (saw) who connects us to God. Those who are fusing with that reality are being blessed by that reality.”
حَقًّا عَلَيْنَا نُنجِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
Thus, it is an obligation upon Us (Allah) that We save the ones who believe in Us – Surah Yunus, Verse 103
I felt the deepest sense of reassurance from that verse the first time I heard it. If I had an iota of faith in my heart and only God judges faith, then He was obligated to take care of me. It was a certainty!
One thing was crystal clear. Technology was here to stay. It could not be avoided and was no doubt useful. I would not have been able to write this piece without king Jinn Google for one, if for no other reason than the speed with which I can include the Arabic. Like any other addiction however, if it became one, it just had to be admitted. I had read articles about those who had made break-through contributions in terms of innovations in their 20s only to deeply regret them later and admit it publicly.
Oct 6th, 2017, The Independent: “The man who invented the Facebook ‘Like’ button has removed the app from his mobile phone. Justin Rosenstein was the engineer who created the ‘awesome’ feature in 2007, but now fears the psychological effects apps are having on people around the world. “It is very common for humans to develop things with the best of intentions and for them to have unintended, negative consequences,” Mr Rosenstein told the paper.”
And that wasn’t the worst of it!
“As well as making users addicted and effecting their mental health, there is growing concern social media makes people more stupid. Known as ‘continuous partial attention,’ it is feared apps limit the ability to focus and potentially lower IQ.”
But these are lost battles. I have friends who say that being physically away from their phone brings on a panic attack. I don’t think they’re kidding. How can they possibly discipline their children? Nor can they police them. Especially now that many schools require iPads to do assignments. I found unsurprisingly that the elite had mainstreamed a thing for others and then sidestepped it for their own children.
Feb 18th, 2018 Business Insider: “The Koduris' life is that of the quintessential Silicon Valley family, except for one thing. The technology developed by Koduri and Shahi's employers (Google) is all but banned at the family's home.
There are no video game systems inside the Koduri household, and neither child, 10-year-old Saurav and 12-year-old Roshni, has their own cell phone yet. Saurav and Roshni can play games on their parents' phones, but only for 10 minutes per week. (There are no limits to using the family's vast library of board games.) Awhile back the family bought an iPad 2, but for the last five years it's lived on the highest shelf in a linen closet.
“We know at some point they will need to get their own phones,” Koduri, 44, told Business Insider. “But we are prolonging it as long as possible.”
Koduri and Shahi represent a new kind of Silicon Valley parent. Instead of tricking out their homes with all the latest technology, many of today's parents working or living in the tech world are limiting — and sometimes outright banning — how much screen time their kids get.
“You can't put your face in a device and expect to develop a long-term attention span,” Taewoo Kim, chief AI engineer at the machine-learning startup One Smart Lab. A practicing Buddhist, Kim is teaching his nieces and nephews, ages 4 to 11, to meditate and appreciate screen-free games and puzzles. Once a year he takes them on tech-free silent retreats at nearby Buddhist temples.
In 2007, Gates, the former CEO of Microsoft, implemented a cap on screen time when his daughter started developing an unhealthy attachment to a video game. Later it became family policy not to allow kids to have their own phones until they turned 14.
Jobs, the CEO of Apple until his death in 2012, revealed that he prohibited his kids from using the newly-released iPad. "We limit how much technology our kids use at home," Jobs told reporter Nick Bilton.
Around Silicon Valley, a number of low-tech schools have popped up in an effort to reintroduce the basics. At the Waldorf School of the Peninsula, a private school in Los Altos, California, kids use chalkboards and No. 2 pencils. Faculty don't introduce kids to screen-based devices until they reach the eighth grade.”
The Eighth Grade! That’s age 13-14. No video games, no
phone, no iPad! But increasingly for most and their infants, the possibility of a life without a chip in it, which for some is already in their fridge and toilet, doesn’t exist. Still, if the cure becomes known, at least a choice presents itself. Then it was about exercising it. The infamous free will that humans possess could finally come into play for some good!
Sheikh Nurjan’s words about protecting one’s self, the choice to do so, echoed the sentiment; “The energy you radiate around you becomes your shield of protection. The Sunnah is our insulation. When you make wudu (ablution) you seal this energy. It doesn’t escape. This energy is your safety and it emanates in your home and protects your home and your loved ones around you. If you don’t have the shield, ask the one who has it to come to help you.”
The one who has it is the Friend of God. Like Asif Bin Barkhia who was chosen over the Jinn. Many Muslims have difficulty getting their head around this category of chosen ones, the Auliya. Certain influences have programmed them in a way that causes confusion for them if they attach themselves to someone other than God. Even the Prophet (saw). Despite that the Quran specifically instructs to connect with them in order to attain to faith.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَكُونُوا مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ
O you who believe! Consciously revere Allah and be with those who are truthful – Surah At-Tauba, Verse 119
Then it illuminates the exact placing of these “truthful ones,” obedient to the Commands of Allah and in strict emulation of the Prophet (saw), as enjoying a status just one under the Prophets, higher than the martyrs.
وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَٰئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِم مِّنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ ۚ وَحَسُنَ أُولَٰئِكَ رَفِيقًا
And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger then they will be with those whom Allah has bestowed His Favor - of the Prophets, and the truthful, and the martyrs, and the righteous. And excellent (are) those companion(s) – Surah An-Nisa, Verse 69
My personal bond with the Auliya Karaam was most strengthened by a single verse in the Quran.
أَلَا إِنَّ أَوْلِيَاءَ اللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ
No doubt! Indeed, the Friends of Allah, no fear will be upon them and nor will they grieve – Surah Yunus, Verse 62
No fear, no grief, what a life that would be! If there was a reason to seek them for someone like me who can’t seem to do anything without an ulterior motive, it was for a life devoid of fear and sadness.
In my 30’s I started reading the writings of many Auliya Karaam given to me by my Mamu and fell in love with them. Everything about them was imbued in grace and softness. Their reactions to pain and suffering left me bewildered. But nothing about my actions changed until I arrived at the Door of Wisdom, Imam Ali (ratu). For no one enters the City of Knowledge without entering the Door.
اَنَا مَدِيْنَةُ الْعِلْمِ وَ عَلِيٌ بَابُهَا فَمَنْ اَرَادَ الْعِلْمَ فَلْیَاْتِهَا مِنْ بَابِهَا
Said the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) “I am the City of Knowledge and Ali is the Door to enter it so the one who desires knowledge should come through this door.”
Otherwise all of my life I had felt I had a connection to God. Since my teens, on and off, I prayed, I fasted, I even read the Quran. The rituals disciplined me because it inculcated refraining in my sub-conscience but it was rote nonetheless so I didn’t change at all. Not until I loved His Beloved (saw). An excellent example; before him I never paid attention to my zaka’t, the only ritual I conveniently ignored.
Till I studied his person, I didn’t understand the exalted status of sadqa (voluntary alms) either, which is much higher than zaka’t because voluntary acts of love far surpass those dutied. Feeding the hungry is the best of those voluntary deeds which today forms a significant focus of my life. It changed me in ways I can barely count. I learnt that from Ghaus Pak (ra) because he said it was one of two things he focused on in his life. The other was excellence in behaviour.
God had made clear something I never knew until I wrote my book. Not only did I have to love His Beloved (saw), I had to love him more than everything else that mattered to me in the world. A rule was set.
قُلْ إِن كَانَ آبَاؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَاؤُكُمْ وَإِخْوَانُكُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُكُمْ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمْ
وَأَمْوَالٌ اقْتَرَفْتُمُوهَا وَتِجَارَةٌ تَخْشَوْنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَاكِنُ تَرْضَوْنَهَا أَحَبَّ إِلَيْكُم مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَجِهَادٍ فِي سَبِيلِهِ فَتَرَبَّصُوا حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَ اللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْفَاسِقِينَ
Say, (O Beloved), "If your fathers and your sons and your brothers and your spouses and your clan, and the worldly goods which you have acquired, and the commerce whereof you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you take pleasure – (if all these) are dearer to you than God and His Apostle and the struggle in His cause, then wait until God makes manifest His will; and (know that) God does not grace iniquitous folk with His Guidance.” – Surah At-Tauba, Verse 24
The ask is sky high. From a hadith I knew that each person in the world as a rule loves themselves more than anyone else.
That is the nature of the nafs, the ego.
We were with the Prophet (peace be upon him) and he was holding the hand of Hazrat Umar bin Al-Khattab (ratu). Hazrat Umar (ratu) said to Him, "O Allah's Apostle! You are dearer to me than everything except my own self."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "No, by Him in Whose Hand my soul is, you will not have complete faith till I am dearer to you than your own self."
Then Hazrat Umar (ratu) said to him, "Now, by Allah, you are dearer to me than my own self."
And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Now, O Umar, now you are a Believer."
Anybody who has followed any Command of God, any instruction of His Last Prophet (saw) knows it has a guaranteed self-benefit. The asking to follow, to emulate Rasool Allah (saw), begins the journey to explore capacity as a human being in terms of elevating manners and morality, acquire that which does not previously exist.
The Order to love him more than myself, however, is something else. Loving ourselves the most means we are naturally inclined to be obedient to our desires and our demons. But when a person loves someone else more than themselves, then the desires of that person become more important. They take precedence over our own and we find ourselves becoming obedient to them, we do things for their sake. In the world, if people don’t experience this with parents, they certainly do in friendship and if not then, at some point in romantic love. In that love comes the sacrifice of one’s own needs and lust, desire and wants, both emotional and physical.
So if I wanted to love the Prophet (saw) more than myself, the evidence of that love would lie in my obedience to his wishes over my own.
When Hazrat Umar (ra) was asked what he had done to increase his love for the Prophet (saw) in such a short period of time, he said, “I asked myself who did I need more, myself or the Prophet of Allah (saw)? I found that I needed the Prophet (saw) more. I will not intercede for myself on the Day of Judgment, but the Prophet of Allah (saw) will. My deeds will not place me at the highest of levels, but my love for the Prophet (saw) will. I did not take myself from the darkness to the light, but the Prophet of Allah (saw) did. Accordingly, the love of the Prophet (saw) deepened in my heart as compared to my love for myself.”
After that love sprouted in my heart, every time I tried to inculcate a rule or a principle of behavior, the Friend of God who taught it to me became my helper. Since they had learnt the practice from Nabi Kareem (saw) I kept getting closer to him. All of them had passed centuries ago which meant that the help always came from the World of the Unseen, Aalim al Ghaib. If I didn’t understand anything, I ask them to help me, to even explain it to me.
When I felt distressed they showed me why. They lent me their eyes to see myself because my justifications rendered me blind. Who would have thought actually being in the right could also nail one to the ground? But it wasn’t so surprising when I peeled the layers behind it. There stood either self-pity or judgement and both converged at one point; pride. The cardinal sin! But that too is another story.
Imam Ali (ratu), Bibi Fatima (ratu), Imam hassan (ratu), Imam Hussain (ratu), Ghaus Pak (ra), Hazrat Muhuyddin Ibn e Arabi (ra), Hazrat Nizamuddin Auliya (ra), Hazrat Rabia Basra (ra), Baba Farid Ganj Shakar (ra), Hazrat Bayzaid Bastami (ra), Maulana Rum (ra), the list went on and on. When I regressed in bringing their teaching to action, I found them dislodging me from my stuckness. They rendered my relapses short and infrequent. They had received God’s Love like no one else.
قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ
وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
Say, O Beloved, (peace be upon you), “If you love God, follow me and God will love you and forgive you your sins for God is Much-Forgiving, a Dispenser of Grace.” - Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 31
It was an incredible promise; …God will love you…
Did He not love me otherwise? Of course He did. One of His Names is Al-Wadood, The Loving One, my favourite of them. My heart was just veiled in darkness so nothing pure reached it.
Without a “healer,” as Maulana Rum (ra) calls them, there in once again reliance on the self. The self that even a Prophet declares in only willful of that which is wrong and that which is forbidden. The Prophet Yousuf (as):
وَمَا أُبَرِّئُ نَفْسِي ۚ إِنَّ النَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌ بِالسُّوءِ إِلَّا مَا رَحِمَ رَبِّي ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّي غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
And yet, I am not trying to absolve myself. For, indeed, the inner self does incite to evil, and saved are only they upon whom my Sustainer bestows His Mercy. Behold, my Sustainer is much forgiving, a Dispenser of Grace! – Surah Yusuf, Verse 53
For someone like me who seems to be a Luddite of the times, I began to realize that the problem was going to be less about Jinn or Iblis. My own likes and dislikes, my biases were so cemented, I was beyond rigid. Perhaps the time for new overtly forbidden sins was behind me but in the end it boiled down to my behaviour, my character, my sense of defining myself as a human being, “the best of Creation.” The most dangerous trap was set my own nafs.
أَفَرَأَيْتَ مَنِ اتَّخَذَ إِلَٰهَهُ هَوَاهُ وَأَضَلَّهُ اللَّهُ عَلَىٰ عِلْمٍ وَخَتَمَ عَلَىٰ سَمْعِهِ وَقَلْبِهِ
وَجَعَلَ عَلَىٰ بَصَرِهِ غِشَاوَةً فَمَن يَهْدِيهِ مِن بَعْدِ اللَّهِ ۚ أَفَلَا تَذَكَّرُونَ
Have you ever considered the one who makes his own desires his deity, and whom God has let go astray, knowing (that his mind is closed to all guidance), and whose hearing and heart He has sealed, and upon whose sight He has placed a veil? Who, then, could guide him after God (has abandoned him)? Will you not, then, reflect upon yourselves? – Surah Al-Jathiya, Verse 23
Could I become my own god?
In one of his lectures, the Sheikh made an interesting comparison of the lockdown we all experience to the Surah Yousaf. “Allah trains us in many ways and He points to the Surah Yousaf as the path of the seeker. First the Prophet is thrown in a well by his brothers. Then in the second phase of his life to save himself from that which the world wanted him to become, impure, he asked God to send him to prison where he remained for many years.”
“Today you are confined to your home. Use this time to contemplate and meditate. Use the apps that are for your benefit instead of being like where do I find this and that prayer, the zikr, the auraad? They are tools for you that are useful, they support you. Hear the talks that motivate you and take you away from the fear. Hear the heavenly channels that are broadcasting. Faith and fear don’t co-exist. Faith conquers fear. Focus on your love for Sayaadna Muhammad (saw).”
Then he came to the scary part ringing all kinds of bells in my head from my own past.
“Anger is the door in which Iblis will come to kill you. Your anger will be your death. It is the door that Shaitan is coming through. It’s the black spot on your heart. The worst fire of all the fires is anger. When it comes there’s no justification, it just brings disbelief. And when that happens Iblis over-rides the person. Through meditation focus on why you have it. With your wudu the fire goes down.”
The Sheikh was recounting the words of the Prophet (saw);
“Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, they should perform ablution.”
On another occasion he told a man who asked him for advice;
أَنَّ رَجُلاً، قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَوْصِنِي. قَالَ " لاَ تَغْضَبْ ". فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا، قَالَ "
لاَ تَغْضَبْ ".
The Prophet ﷺ said, “Do not become angry.” The man asked (the same question) again and again, and each the Prophet ﷺ gave the same answer, “Do not become angry.”
Once Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) was sitting with Nabi Kareem (saw). A man in their midst started attacking Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu), maligning him. He listened to him quietly and did not react. When the man went overboard, Hazrat Abu Bakr (ratu) gave him a sharp reply. Upon this the Prophet (saw) left.
Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique (ratu) went after him.
“Ya Rasool Allah!” he said. “When the man was saying things against me you stayed and when I responded to his words, you left. Why?”
Nabi Kareem (saw) replied, “When you were silent and exercised patience and restraint, I saw an angel sitting next to you who was responding on your behalf. When you started replying the angel left and a shaitaan, (evil Jinn), came and I don’t sit in the company of shayateen.”
“Identify your sickness,” said Sheikh Nurjan, “Because when Shaitan comes he will ravage you and destroy everything about you. We have been thrown into the fire of Sayaadna Ibrahim (as). We are asking God to make the fire cool for us. Who do you think is bardan wa salaman, coolness and safety? Sayyadna Muhammad (saw)! The coolness of Sayyadna Muhammad (saw) came to save Sayyadna Ibrahim (as). His light encompasses his soul to be in a state of ecstasy even in the fire. How will we seek refuge? Sayyadna Muhammad (saw) is the master of that reality. If you were heedless before don’t be heedless now.”
From darkness into light or from light into darkness?
Everything was a choice. If machines were false deities or my nafs was a god, both were pushing me into an abyss.
اللَّهُ وَلِيُّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا يُخْرِجُهُم مِّنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ ۖ
وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا أَوْلِيَاؤُهُمُ الطَّاغُوتُ يُخْرِجُونَهُم مِّنَ النُّورِ إِلَى الظُّلُمَاتِ ۗ
Allah is the Protecting Guardian of those who believe. He brings them out of darkness into light. As for those who disbelieve, their patrons are false deities. They bring them out of light into darkness. Such are rightful owners of the Fire. They will abide therein – Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 257
The rightful owners of fire! It was Iqbal who shed a brilliant insight to what the fire of Hell actually is. For unlike whatever people imagine in their heads and then easily dismiss as over the top, it is entirely different for it lies within one’s own self.
“Heaven and Hell are states, not localities. Their descriptions in the Qur’an are visual representations of an inner fact, i.e. character. Hell, in the words of the Qur’an, is ‘God’s kindled fire which mounts above the hearts’ - the painful realization of one’s failure as a person. Heaven is the joy of triumph over the forces of disintegration. There is no such thing as eternal damnation in Islam. The word ‘eternity’ used in certain verses, relating to Hell, is explained by the Qur’an itself to mean only a period of time (78:23). Time cannot be wholly irrelevant to the development of personality.
Character tends to become permanent; its reshaping must require time. Hell, therefore, as conceived by the Qur’an, is not a pit of everlasting torture inflicted by a revengeful God; it is a corrective experience, which may make a hardened ego once more sensitive to the living breeze of Divine Grace.
Nor is heaven a holiday. Life is one and continuous. Man marches always onward to receive ever fresh illuminations from an Infinite Reality in which every moment appears in a new glory. And the recipient of Divine Illumination is not merely a passive recipient. Every act of a free ego creates a new situation and thus offers further opportunities of creative unfolding.”
وَمَن جَاهَدَ فَإِنَّمَا يُجَاهِدُ لِنَفْسِهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَغَنِيٌّ عَنِ الْعَالَمِينَ
And whoever strives then only he strives for himself. Indeed, Allah (is) Free from need of the worlds – Surah Al-Ankabut, Verse 6
The coming of the Beloved of God (saw) is most beautifully marked in the Quran as the coming of truth. It’s destiny is only one; to prevail.
وَقُلْ جَاءَ الْحَقُّ وَزَهَقَ الْبَاطِلُ ۚ إِنَّ الْبَاطِلَ كَانَ زَهُوقًا
And say, "The truth has come and perished the falsehood. Indeed, the falsehood is (bound) to perish." – Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 17
Sheikh Nurjan: “The false cannot obliterate the truth but are we on the truth? The best power, the most powerful presence is the presence of Sayyadna Muhammad (saw). The focus is to bring his light on your soul. The Darood shareef, the salawat. As soon as this Haqq enters your heart, your soul, your energies this is what is frightening for devils.”
When Iblis vowed to making all things worldly that are in fact harmful appear beautiful and get us hooked on them he himself made an exception himself of those who he would not be able to deceive.
قَالَ رَبِّ بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأُزَيِّنَنَّ لَهُمْ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَأُغْوِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْمَعِينَ
إِلَّا عِبَادَكَ مِنْهُمُ الْمُخْلَصِينَ
Iblis said: "O my Sustainer! Since You have mislead me, I shall indeed make (all that is evil) on Earth seem goodly to them and shall most certainly beguile them-into grievous error.
Except, Your slaves among them the ones who are sincere – Surah Al-Hijr, Verse 39-40
Those Mukhliseen are the ones God says are the ones on the Straight Path, the Sirat e Mustaqeem. In an extraordinary lecture by Uzair, I had learnt that there are only three beings in the Universe on the Straight Path, ala Sirat e Mustaqeem. Everyone else, be they Prophets, the Auliya Karaam or ordinary individuals ask to be lead to it, ila Sirat e Mustaqeem.
The first is God;
إِنَّ رَبِّي عَلَىٰ صِرَاطٍ مُّسْتَقِيم
Indeed, my Lord (is) on a path straight - Surah Hud, Verse 56
The second is Rasool Allah (peace be upon him):
فَاسْتَمْسِكْ بِالَّذِي أُوحِيَ إِلَيْكَ إِنَّكَ عَلَىٰ صِرَاطٍ مُّسْتَقِيمٍ
So hold fast to that which is revealed to you (O Beloved (peace be upon you)). Indeed, you (are) on a Straight Path - Surah Az-Zukhruf, Verse 43
The third, Iblis.
قَالَ فَبِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأَقْعُدَنَّ لَهُمْ صِرَاطَكَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ
Whereupon Iblis said, "Now that You have thwarted me, I shall most certainly lie in ambush for them all along Your Sirat e Mustaqeem (the Straight Way).” - Surah Al-A’raf, Verse 16
It made sense. The Sheikh was saying was that the fastest way to repel Iblis’ efforts was reciting the Darood. “As soon as this Haqq (Truth) enters your heart, your soul, your energies its frightening for devils.”
I guess that must be because reciting the prayer of the Darood is not an ordinary thing. It is a Sunnah of Allah, a prayer recited by God;
(Begin excerpt “The Softest Heart”)
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا
Indeed Allah sends prayers on the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the angels send prayers on him as well. So O ye who believed, send prayers on the Prophet (peace be upon him) and give yourselves up to his guidance in utter self-surrender.” - Surah Al-Ahzaab, Verse 56
Uzair once asked me, “Without getting into the double emphasis of the order to “surrender” to his guidance (sallimu tasleeman), let me ask you this. When we do send prayers and blessings upon His Blessed Messenger’s (peace be upon him) being, what exactly do we say?”
I started reciting the prayer to send blessings upon the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Blessed Family, the Darood Shareef. For in all of its variations, the beginning is the same. He stopped me at the first word:
Allahuma!
Dear God!
“Do you see?” he said smiling, “When we want to send blessings upon the being of His Beloved (saw), in fact in our utterance, we are asking God, in turn, to send the blessing even though He tells us to. Our own tongues are not deemed worthy by Him to send the prayers upon His Beloved (saw) directly. God wants only God to do it! To praise someone you need to realize the merits of the one being praised. We are not capable of comprehending Rasool Allah’s (saw) merits, hence the utterance of the Darood belongs only to God Himself.”
The prayer sent upon the Prophet (saw) is unlike the five sala’t which are obligatory for the Muslims. This is an act of love for the would-be Believers. It is not limited to any particular time of the day. Or night. For Himself and the angels, Allah uses the present tense in the Quran: a state of constant continuation in terms of its happening. Never ending! In the same vein, following the instruction becomes a following of Allah Ash-Shaheed, The All Witnessing One’s Sunnah, for it is His Act. How many acts in my life were going to hold such a direct sharing with my God? The thought itself had a dizzying effect.
(End excerpt The Softest Heart)
In another lecture, Uzair made a different point of the verse, stellar again of course.
“(In the verse) why is Allah using the word “an-Nabi”? He could say Muhammad or Abdullah or Ar-Rasool. Why not one of those?”
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ
Indeed Allah and His Angels send prayers on the Prophet (peace be upon him).
“Because,” he said smiling in anticipation of the reaction of the listeners, “Muhammad is his birth name. That would mean Allah is sending the prayers upon him since he was born. And Abdullah is the name he was bestowed on the Night of Ascension. Meaning it would have started then. If He had said Ar-Rasool then it would mean He began sending prayers upon him when he was 40 and announced his prophethood.
But He is saying “An-Nabi” and the Prophet (saw) said ‘I was a Nabi (Prophet) when Adam was between clay and water.’ So even when there was nothing, there was Allah’s Darood upon His Beloved (saw). There was no Adam, no earth, no heaven, no hell, no time, no space, no Jinn and no Man.”
The Sheikh had said the prayer dispelled demons. I believe it takes care of everything else as well. Whether read out of fear of something or the need of something or purely love, I believe the words take care of everything. No wonder we are asked to recite the Darood in every raka’t of every prayer all day long. It’s a gift of kindness for even the one who doesn’t appreciate it.
According to Ghaus Pak (ra), the second prayer that Allah sends upon His Beloved (saw) is the salam, also an utterance in the namaz. Tradition states that it was how the Prophet (saw) was greeted by God on the Night of Ascension.
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكَ أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
(As-Salam o alayka ayyoha nabiyyo wa rahmatullah e wa barakata hu)
Upon this greeting, God Almighty said to His Prophet (saw), “Peace, the Mercy of Allah and His Blessings be on you, O Prophet!”
The effect of the words was intense. It certainly changed my prayer which for many years I performed so quickly it was as if I had a gun to my head. As I learnt the context for each word and each word was so carefully placed, it blew my mind and my pace slowed. The Quran is a book of intense imagery and I was told (by Uzair) to ignite imagery in my head when I said the Darood at least if nothing else. Mine was of a Universe swimming in light!
But there was something else. A blessing unlike any other was received each time this second prayer of God was recited. The salam was returned!
أَنّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ:
مَا مِنْ أَحَدٍ يُسَلِّمُ عَلَيَّ، إِلَّا رَدَّ اللَّهُ عَلَيَّ رُوحِي حَتَّى أَرُدَّ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامَ
The Prophet of Allah (saw) said, “No one sends salam upon me without that Allah has returned my soul to me, so that I can return his salam.”
Subhan Allah!
In writing this piece, I asked Qari Sahib to explain the picking process on Iblis’ end. Who does he target and why?
“Let’s ask God,” he said.
هَلْ أُنَبِّئُكُمْ عَلَىٰ مَن تَنَزَّلُ الشَّيَاطِينُ
تَنَزَّلُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ أَفَّاكٍ أَثِيمٍ
يُلْقُونَ السَّمْعَ وَأَكْثَرُهُمْ كَاذِبُونَ
Shall I inform you upon whom descend the devils?
They descend upon the slanderer and the sinner.
They pass on (what is) heard, and most of them (are) liars - – Surah Ash-Shu’ra, Verse 221-223
Again my mind went to the control of information. What went up and what was taken down. Those who controlled what we read and what we saw and therefore what we thought. Even the billionaires in Pakistan bought a tv channel and a newspaper as soon as they hit it big.
For the human being caught in this web the key lay in creating a balance. Or perhaps returning to the balance we were created in originally that made us worthy of “preference” over all else.
Uzair explained in one of his lectures that according to wisdom, there are five main motivators of actions for a human being: need, desire, lust, emotion and finally, the soul. They lie in a pyramid-like structure and the layering begins with need forming the base of the pyramid. Then comes desire which dominates need. Then is lust which over-rides desire. Fourth is emotion which prevails over the other three: lust, desire and need. Atop all of them is the soul. If one gains access to it, and it’s a big if, the soul over-rides everything else. That is nirvana!
All humans experienced all four states of need, desire, lust and emotion while alive. Suppressing them entirely was not possible. On top of that I read that ending a desire was itself a desire, hence desire could never be gotten rid of entirely by one’s own self! What was needed was for the four variables to be in a state of balance, to exist within limits, a hadd.
I was reminded again of the verses in the Quran endlessly pointing to the ones who only indulge every whim and emotion and remain stuck in a perpetual state of darkness. The punishment was severe: obedience of indulgence rendered one undeserving of aid from where it was essential, God.
وَكَذَٰلِكَ أَنزَلْنَاهُ حُكْمًا عَرَبِيًّا ۚ
وَلَئِنِ اتَّبَعْتَ أَهْوَاءَهُم بَعْدَمَا جَاءَكَ مِنَ الْعِلْمِ مَا لَكَ مِنَ اللَّهِ مِن وَلِيٍّ وَلَا وَاقٍ
Thus have We revealed it, a decisive utterance in Arabic, and if you should follow their desires after that which has come unto you of knowledge, then truly would you have from Allah no protecting friend nor defender - Surah Ar-Ra’d, Verse 37
Hence was made clear that the one who made their likes and dislikes their master, their gods, became incapable of receiving guidance.
فَإِن لَّمْ يَسْتَجِيبُوا لَكَ فَاعْلَمْ أَنَّمَا يَتَّبِعُونَ أَهْوَاءَهُمْ
If they do not respond to you, O Beloved (peace be upon you), then know that they follow only their own desires – Surah Al-Qassas, Verse 50
For anyone who was on a path of spirituality, the dominance of the soul over the rest was the ultimate goal. Listening to the soul, doing what it says, what it wants, that was the way to live in order to be close to Allah Al-Haqq, The One who is the Truth. For the soul was in a permanent state of attachment to Him.
I thought about what would become the reason to abandon one’s own will for God’s? Over the years I had discovered that it would be the awareness, the ability, to be informed about the source of one’s own wellbeing. The only sustainable cause to give up that which was a source of pleasure once, despite being harmful, despite being forbidden, was to differentiate between one’s state of peace and calm versus one of anxiety and distress as result of it. Only when the source of the restlessness was known could it be abandoned.
إِيَّاكُمْ وَحَزَّازَ الْقُلُوبِ وَمَا حَزَّ فِي قَلْبِكِ مِنْ شَيْءٍ فَدَعْهُ
The Prophet (saw) said, “Beware of what disturbs the hearts. If something unsettles your heart, then abandon it.”
A friend of mine asked me if I don’t own a tv and I don’t use a smart phone, if connect to the internet via my laptop twice a day with its camera covered with a piece of paper, why I write a 50 page piece on Jinn. I thought about it. It started out as curiosity of something unknown to me but then it became more about the future. A future that I will not be in and therefore endure but my niece, Sameena, who is only 9 will. I leave it for her like a love letter, an atypical one but still, its inspiration lies in heeding her and perhaps someone else as I have been heeded.
Ghaus Pak (ra) says the goal of the blessed human being is singular; awaiting a meeting with their Creator. Not going to Heaven and escaping Hell which is fear and need driven but to be worthy of meeting Allah zul Jalal e wal Ikram out of love.
يَا أَيُّهَا الْإِنسَانُ إِنَّكَ كَادِحٌ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ كَدْحًا فَمُلَاقِيهِ
O Mankind! Indeed, you are laboring to your Lord with exertion and you will meet Him – Surah Al-Inshiqaq, Verse 6
The call is to every human being, insaan! He says it is a warning as well as meant to be an awakening. “You, who is formed in the manner of Allah, are the one chosen from all Creation to be His Vicegerent. You are the one who will be granted recognition of your Lord. So know yourself, your stature and don’t be forgetful of God’s Reality.”
“The one who strives for nearness of Allah, the striving ends in the dissolution of your self in His Essence. You are the one who will meet Him as a function of your striving. It is obligated upon you to not separate yourself from that which is the cause of your connection to Him. The longing will come to you from God, the ability will come through Him, and render you of the honoured.”
In the absence of that connection darkness prevails.
أَوْ كَظُلُمَاتٍ فِي بَحْرٍ لُّجِّيٍّ يَغْشَاهُ مَوْجٌ مِّن فَوْقِهِ مَوْجٌ مِّن فَوْقِهِ سَحَابٌ ۚ
ظُلُمَاتٌ بَعْضُهَا فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ إِذَا أَخْرَجَ يَدَهُ لَمْ يَكَدْ يَرَاهَا ۗ
وَمَن لَّمْ يَجْعَلِ اللَّهُ لَهُ نُورًا فَمَا لَهُ مِن نُّورٍ
Or like the depths of darkness upon an abysmal sea, made yet more dark by wave billowing over wave, with clouds above it all, depths of darkness, layer upon layer, (so that) when one holds up his hand, he can hardly see it.
For he to whom God gives no light, no light whatever has he! – Surah An-Nur, Verse 40
Tafseer e Jilani: The depths of darkness is a drowning in forgetfulness of God. The waves upon it come from turning away from God in rebellion and self-deceit. The clouds are veils from refuting God’s existence. The blindness is to the signs of the One-ness of God, deliberate ignoring of His Attributes and refusal to see His astonishing Creation, new and ever changing. The problem lies in a deep fixation on one’s worldly self in vanity and conceit. There is no room left for anything else. Therefore there is no possibility of receiving His Light.
According to Ghaus Pak (ra) the real tragedy and source of deepening torment for the human being was a state of self-imposed deprivation.
وَذَٰلِكُمْ ظَنُّكُمُ الَّذِي ظَنَنتُم بِرَبِّكُمْ أَرْدَاكُمْ فَأَصْبَحْتُم مِّنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ
And that (was) your assumption which you assumed about your Lord. It has ruined you, and you have become of the lost – Surah Al-Fussilat, Verse 23
A state of mahroomi, a state of loss, vis-à-vis God. Not being able to see His Signs in the world and not being able to see Him in the Afterlife. That was the real azaab, the punishment that wreaked havoc in this world and that would last an eternity on the Last of Days. The real darkness was selfishness and adherence to the ego that rendered one unable to alter.
In this world, my actions had deprived me of the company of some that I would have liked to have had in my life. Sometimes I prayed for love and then received it within days, only to kick it hard in the face also within days for no reason other than rage and restlessness. I was out of control and I learnt that people aren’t as kind as God. Not as forgiving. Most have a one strike rule. God was different. He gives chance after chance for a return to Him.
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ
إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say, O Beloved (saw), "O those who have transgressed against themselves! Do not despair of the Mercy (of) Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives the sins all. Indeed He, He (is) the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful – Surah Az-Zumar, Verse 53
And Allah says that knowing of course that many will not return except for on that Day of Regret when nothing but remorse will drown them.
وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا
And a Day on which the wrongdoer will bite his hands (in despair), exclaiming: “Oh, would that I had followed the path shown to me by the Apostle! – Surah Az-Zumar, Verse 27
Sometime I think my favourite word in the Quran is “Qul” (Say). Throughout the Book the word starts a verse. It is a bestowing of honour and the clear indication that the Book was revealed upon one heart. I only see in it an intense expression of love. Even when it came to informing us about even His Own Self, Allah says to the Prophet (saw), “You say, you tell them, O Beloved (saw), because I allowed only you to know Me as no other, tell them that I am One. You tell them what I am and what I am not.”
قُلْ هُوَ اللَّهُ أَحَدٌ - اللَّهُ الصَّمَدُ
لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ - وَلَمْ يَكُن لَّهُ كُفُوًا أَحَدٌ
Say (O Prophet (saw)), "He is Allah, the One (God). Allah, the Eternal, the Absolute. He begets not and neither is He begotten. And there is nothing that can be compared to Him. – Surah Ikhlas, Verses 1-3
In a lecture Uzair magnificently highlights the mission and universality of Nabi Kareem’s (saw) distinguished being through just two verses of Surah Juma’.
هُوَ الَّذِي بَعَثَ فِي الْأُمِّيِّينَ رَسُولًا مِّنْهُمْ يَتْلُو عَلَيْهِمْ آيَاتِهِ
وَيُزَكِّيهِمْ وَيُعَلِّمُهُمُ الْكِتَابَ وَالْحِكْمَةَ وَإِن كَانُوا مِن قَبْلُ لَفِي ضَلَالٍ مُّبِينٍ
He it is who has sent unto the unlettered people an apostle from among themselves, to convey unto them His Messages, and to cause them to grow in purity, and to impart unto them the divine writ as well as wisdom - whereas before that they were indeed, most obviously, lost in error – Surah Juma’, Verse 2
وَآخَرِينَ مِنْهُمْ لَمَّا يَلْحَقُوا بِهِمْ ۚ وَهُوَ الْعَزِيزُ الْحَكِيمُ
And others among them who have not yet joined them and He is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise – Surah Juma’, Verse 3
For all peoples of all of the Universes, this Prophet (saw) brings the conveyance of a message. He is the purifier for everyone. He imparts wisdom to all. He discloses the secrets veiled in the Quran. He is marked as a warner for everyone (from everyone and everything that will be harmful) for all times, his era and all the ones to follow till the end of the world. He is the bringer of good news to all of humanity. He releases all to be released of shackles (of society) and burdens (of other people). He knows all societies and the means of enslaving people.
He is the light!
Tafseer e Tustari; “He (God) made the gushing forth of the wellsprings of the heart of Muhammad (saw) with the lights of knowledge of different kinds, a sign of Mercy for his nation because God, Exalted is He, honoured him with this honour. For the light of the Prophets is from his (Muhammad’s (saw)) light, the light of heavenly dominions is from his light, and the light of the world and the Hereafter is from his light.”
Subhan Allah!
يَأْمُرُهُم بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَاهُمْ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَيُحِلُّ لَهُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتِ وَيُحَرِّمُ عَلَيْهِمُ الْخَبَائِثَ
وَيَضَعُ عَنْهُمْ إِصْرَهُمْ وَالْأَغْلَالَ الَّتِي كَانَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ ف
الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا بِهِ وَعَزَّرُوهُ وَنَصَرُوهُ وَاتَّبَعُوا النُّورَ الَّذِي أُنزِلَ مَعَهُ ۙ أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ
Who enjoins upon them what is right and forbids them what is wrong and makes lawful for them the good things and prohibits for them the evil and relieves them of their burden and the shackles which were upon them. So they who have believed in him, honored him, supported him and followed the light which was sent down with him - it is those who will be the Successful - Surah Al-A’raaf, Verse 157
Then came the revelation from Uzair; “When he ‘who enjoins upon them what is right and forbids them what is wrong and makes lawful for them the good things and prohibits for them the evil,’ it isn’t random. It is in line with the intrinsic fitrat, nature, of all people.” As in each and every individual.
وَآخَرِينَ مِنْهُمْ
Including those who have not been born yet!
If he has to guide all of Mankind, then he also is given the knowledge of all people’s natures before him and after him to provide that guidance. What he forbids only contradicts the welfare of the body and makes it diseased. What he prohibits is what corrupts the soul causing it anxiety, anger and despair.”
Tradition states that the following revelation came to certain Prophets from God; O Children of Adam! Where is your gratitude for that which I bestowed you? If there is no gratitude then how will there be acceptance and contentment of that which has been destined for you? If you will not surrender and be content, how will you practice patience when troubles befall you? Without patience how will you deny your nafs, your eg0? And if there is no negation of the ego, how will you be able to become one of the faithful?
I was struck by how the process began. Gratitude. The first line of the Quran in the first Surah, Fateha, was just that; the expression of gratitude.
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ
Alhamdolillah e Rab il Alameen!
All praise is due to God alone, the Sustainer of all the worlds – Surah Fateha, Verse 1
A secret became unveiled in more ways than one for in the Quran the order of the verses is also their significance before God. It’s the perfect expression of His Munificence that God starts His Book with gratitude for it is the only source of peace of mind for a human being. The only one!
It is also the only thing Iblis is interested in not making humans practice. For on the day he rebelled, throwing down his gauntlet, his parting words to his Creator were;
وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكْثَرَهُمْ شَاكِرِينَ
“And You will not find most of them grateful” - Surah Al-A’raf, Verse 17
Not, “I will not let them worship you, pray to you, fast for you, perform Umra/Haj for you. Nothing to do with ritual, nothing to do with worship. He doesn’t care about either. Most people miss the fact that Iblis never had a problem with God, in believing in Him. What he did wrong was refuse to accept the one Allah chose to be his His Khalifa on Earth. He denied His Appointees, us. Many don’t realize that when they downplay the significance of Allah’s favoured, especially His Beloved (saw) they follow him inadvertently.
But gratitude requisites a unique expression before God. For one, it isn’t about words, thank you for this and that, as Uzair taught me. It was about deed. Allah wants gratitude towards him expressed through an act of kindness for another being. Ghaus Pak (ra) defines it as sharing the blessings which God has bestowed upon one. That act of goodness for another was what counted as the expression of my gratefulness before Him. But even that was only half of it. The other part was even more significant.
The gratitude is expressed for taufeeq to do the act, for ability, which is only and only granted by God. There is no “I.” There can be no “me.” Therefore there is no, “Look, I’m so good,” either. I once went through the typical chain of my thoughts behind a benevolent act; if I would look at a needy person, then I would think about whether I would like to give them anything or not, do something for them or not. Then I would likely decide to help them, thus giving them some money or emotional assistance. Then I would think that I did a good thing and feel happy about it for exactly how long that thought
was. I counted the “I”s. In that one act, there were five.
Every act of goodness that I was committing was so overly filled with pride it was killing any joy, which is defined by the Greeks as peacefulness, I could receive. My self-glorification was decimating it entirely. Frequency of acts of kindness was not the issue. I learnt through practice that my raising those numbers was pointless. The problem was being supremely conscious of my own self-importance connected to the act and entirely missing The One who made it possible for me to even be generous by giving me wealth yes, which I certainly did absolutely nothing to deserve, but infinitely more important than that, endowing me with the ability to do the right thing, God!
I once asked Qari Sahib what is worse, shirk, making another a partner with Allah in one’s worship or being a worshipper of one’s own ego, the nafs. He pointed me to a hadith that surprised me.
ما أبغض اله أبغض على الله من الهوى
Allah dislikes even more than someone worshipping another than Him is the one who worships his own bias and vain desires.
He told me why as well.
Tafseer e Jilani. “When Allah says ‘Aqtalu anfosakum – kill yourselves,’ it is meant in the context of your nafs. It was his own prejudice that made Pharoah declare himself as a god not someone else, that made the people of Bani Israel worship the calf. It was his own ego that made Iblis refuse Allah’s Command and become proud.”
Bulleh Shah says it most beautifully in verse. Till the “I” dies is there even a beginning?
(Recitation by Imran Jafri @the.softest.heart)
مکے گیاں گل مکدی ناہیں پاویں سو سو جمعے پڑہائیے
گنگا گیاں گل مکدی ناہیں پاویں سو سو غوطے کھائیے
بلھے شاہ گل تائیوں مکدی جے "میں" نوں منوں مکائیے
Visiting Mecca will not give you the final answer,
even if we offer hundreds of Friday prayers.
Visiting the Ganges is no culmination,
even if we take hundreds of dives.
Bulleh Shah! You will only unveil The Secret,
if, from your heart, you erase the “I.”
(End of Part II in link below)
www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/49918994051/in/datepos...
When Ikhlas was a young girl in El Fasher, North Darfur, her life took a tragic turn when she contracted polio. The disease has been nearly eradicated worldwide following the advent of safe and effective childhood vaccinations, but in a few pockets of the world, poor access to health care means that children become disabled or die from preventable causes.
Throughout her life, Ikhlas has battled others’ misguided perceptions that because she is disabled, she is unable to hold a normal job or do anything of value.
In 2010, Ikhlas began working with USAID partner Millennium Relief and Development Services/Partner Aid International (MRDS/PAI) in North Darfur as the supervisor of rural clinics. Ikhlas’ first assignment was to help start a new clinic in Grawid Besham, a village with no health care services within 20 kilometers. Ikhlas organized a village health committee to oversee the work of the clinic, involving all relevant government organizations.
Ikhlas spent several months traveling to rugged rural areas, working with the community to remodel the clinic and to build residential facilities. After months of hard work mobilizing the community and government agencies into action, the clinic opened in 2010 and the community celebrated the arrival of health care services to the village.
With USAID support, the clinic in Grawid Besham is providing health care for up to 8,000 rural Darfuris. Ikhlas is now helping to prevent other children from contracting a disease that has created so many challenges in her own life. Grawid Besham is the first of four clinics that Ikhlas has helped USAID and its partners open in the area.
“I am really fortunate to show that I am able to work in spite of my disability,” Ikhlas said. “The stigma is still very high in people thinking disabled people can’t do anything. So I thank God, my family—for giving me permission to work outside of town—and I thank my employers for not seeing only the outside and my inability but encouraging me to show my abilities. To me, this is real partnership and it has changed my life and I hope the lives of many others not only in health care but also in their attitude towards other people living with disabilities.”
(MRDS/PAI)
The Upside of Humiliation
Knowledge will not come to you from reading books on spirituality.
It will come to you only when the dhiyaan, the focus of a Friend of Allah, comes upon you.
Ghaus Pak (ra)
A few months ago love walked in to my life. It tends to do that every few years. It’s always a cameo appearance. It’s also never love. It’s an illusion of it. The claim, as it turns out, no one except the tongues of the Extraordinary can bear. I just think it is because of something Ibn e Sina (ra), the man considered the Father of Medicine, said which gets me excited. I already knew this part:
The condition for the heart to accept the Nur of Allah from without, to recognize it within, is softness of the heart (Riqqat ul Qalb). So what was going to bring about the softness?
According to the scientist it was the following:
“The softness of the heart comes from two things. The first is purification of thought. The second, a pure love, the condition for which is that it is mental and spiritual, not physical and lustful, so that the reason for loving the beloved is their akhlaq (character and manners) that forms their behavior.”
Sadly, this was not going to be the first time I would focus on the first part of the second condition, whilst thinking, erroneously, that my heart was about to be rendered soft; “Mental and spiritual!” I had surrendered to that state for my physical being. Or so I think. Every time I have been put to the test, I have failed in the past but we, on spiritual paths, are hopeful always of bettering ourselves.
I always totally missed the last half of his instruction, therefore tweaking it and being humiliated beyond belief; “…so that the reason for loving the beloved is their akhlaq that forms their behaviour.” To be fair to myself, the akhlaq was always different in the early days. That was because when one’s heart is soaking itself in love, even it is a superficial attachment, for as long as it lasts, only a sensitive consideration appears.
In all honesty, I never took those overtures that then emerged from total strangers seriously. I knew it had nothing to do with me per se simply because I was doing absolutely nothing to deserve them. I was friendly and warm, cordial, the same as I was to many others. I noticed that their attention was singular upon me but I didn’t place much importance on it. I didn’t find it striking. I was not taken by it. It literally had nothing to do with me. I just happened to be the one inciting it.
Six months later I went on a trip that was life changing for me. But that’s another story. When I returned the dynamic had shifted. I had no idea why and before I could even wonder about that, it would be weeks. In those weeks when I expected things to be the same, because over time, I too had built an attachment, I was humiliated almost every single day in one way or another.
My calls were not returned, much less taken, by someone who had called me several times a day and I had always answered. My asking for a meeting over lunch or breakfast was rebuffed when they were once sought and welcomed. The excuse I was given was work. It took me a month to figure out that I was still on a page that the other had already turned. Still, why such people are unable to continue the interaction on a somewhat normal trajectory, I have never been able to figure out. It’s always sudden death.
The humiliation caused me to spend nights in distress, trying to think of why what was happening was happening. I felt hurt. I wanted to be angry but it was not a feeling that was emerging. In those days, my eyes were brought upon a verse that then changed my life forever.
وَٱصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا يَقُولُونَ وَٱهْجُرْهُمْ هَجْرًۭا جَمِيلًۭا
And be patient over what they say, and avoid them with an avoidance gracious.
Surah Al Muzzammil, Verse 10
Specifically the words hajran jameela, an avoidance beautiful! What, I wondered, could that possibly be? Qari Sahib was leaving for Hajj in two days. I requested a last class. Who knew it would be my saving grace those six weeks he would be gone without access. My Ghaus (ra) revealed the meaning unforgettably!
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa: And after that you have taken Him as The Vakil, The Disposer of your affairs and you have made Him , Haseeb, Sufficient for you and your Kafeel, Guardian…
Isbir ma yaquloona: be patient upon what they say i.e. the Al Mushrikoona, those who associate others with Allah, Al Musrifoona, the transgressors of boundaries, from their superstitions/misconceptions and speculations/assumptions that are unfit for your matter.
When splits upon you, (becoming extremely difficult), patience and tolerance (for what they say and do)…
Wahjurjum: leave them and turn your attention away from them…
Hajran jameela: with beautiful avoidance, smiling, cheerfully,
1.without inclining towards their false delirium (confusion and reduced awareness)
2.and without consideration for them or looking after them
3.and without speaking to them
4.and with tawakkul, reliance upon Allah and entrust the matter of avenging them to Him.
For indeed, He is Enough for you regarding their supply of misdeeds and ridicule.
In those weeks that my teacher was gone our weekly classes continued. My cousins, who hosted the class, asked me to give a few lectures. I told them if they could get some kids together, I would be happy to do it. I had given up sharing knowledge acquired in public. But exceptions have to be made. Young people still have a chance at change. People my age are, almost always, only listeners. Avid but only listeners.
I chose pain and suffering as my topic. The causes of it as explained in the Quran. There were two verses in particular I was focused upon. They created a map where I was learning to place myself every time I felt bad. But I opened the lecture with something entirely new for me. The syntax of prayer!
I had used the same verses to make a different point once before. The rule, also learned from the Quran, about the necessary abstinence from blame and accusation in a relationship. So affection could remain and not be replaced by fear or need, which was the inevitable consequence. I myself adhered to that rule religiously. I never want love to exit a relationship because of me, no matter what the circumstances.
After a long time, I had recently broken that rule. From the breach though, I discovered something new. I used to think if I exercised blame and accusation, it caused fear and need for the other person. Turns out it’s the opposite. The one blaming, complaining is the one who appears fearful or needy. It’s a backfiring of the worst order!
But this time my focus on the verses was different. I chose three:
When Hazrat Adam (as) and Amma Hawwa (ratu) were made to leave Heaven for a transgression they were enticed to commit:
قَالَا رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا
وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ
The two replied, "O our Sustainer! We have sinned against ourselves and unless You grant us forgiveness and bestow Your mercy upon us, we shall most certainly be lost!"
Surah Al-Aa’raaf, Verse 23
When Hazrat Younis (as) was trapped in the belly of the whale after he left his nation.
وَذَا النُّونِ إِذ ذَّهَبَ مُغَاضِبًا فَظَنَّ أَن لَّن نَّقْدِرَ عَلَيْهِ فَنَادَىٰ فِي الظُّلُمَاتِ
أَن لَّا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ
And the Man of the Fish, when he went off in anger and thought that We would not decree (anything) upon him. And he called out within the darkness, ‘There is no deity except You; Exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers”.
Surah Al-Anbiya, Verse 87
Fa danna: So he thought, as soon as he left his nation…
Al-lan naqdira: that We, Allah Subhanahu, will not put stress and distress…
Alaihi: upon him and it is not possible for Us to slow him down and make him suffer nor make him hide in another place so he escaped and arrived at the ocean and boarded a ship and suddenly the wind stopped and the sailors said, “In this ship is a servant who has come without permission from his master.”
They balloted and in the ballot came out his name (of Prophet Yunus (as)) and they tossed him in the ocean and just then a whale swallowed him.
Fa nada: Then he invoked his Lord and prayed silently and humbly, scared, covered…
Fi dulumaat: in darkness which concealed him in layers because he was in the belly of the whale and the night was dark.
An: Indeed, He…
La ilaha: There is no God worthy of worship but Allah and deserving of worship which is the Right of His Essence and His Attribute…
Illa anta: except You, O Who in front of Whom necks bend and bow before the Veils of Your Majesty, the necks of the ones who are of intellect and reason…
Subhanaka: Glory is to You, O my Lord, I think of You as free of all flaws which are not mentionable with Your Essence and (all flaws) which are not worthy of mention with Your Grace.
Inni: Indeed, I am, due to my departure from my people without Your Permission and Revelation, while you had sent me to them and raised me among them in appearance as a Prophet, as a preacher and as a guide…
Kuntu min ad-daalimeen: I am of the transgressors of boundaries, the ones who departed from Your Orders and Your Commands so that’s why You made the matter one of distress for me and You imprisoned me and there is no one who can rescue me from this suffering except Your Forgiveness and Your Mercy.
And after he repented before Us and he focused towards Us with sincerity, with humility and he became pure towards Us, upset, distressed…
Then Hazrat Ayub (as) when he was sick for 18 years, his body covered in painful boils.
وَأَيُّوبَ إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُ أَنِّي مَسَّنِيَ الضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ
And the Prophet Job (as), when he called to his Lord, "Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful”.
Surah Al-Anbiya, Verse 83
Me: “If you look at all the prayers of the Prophets in the Quran, in all their states, but especially in suffering, they first praise Allah Subhanahu. Always! Then they never bring into their words anyone else who might be the cause of that suffering. ‘He did this, look what she did, they did, the world did.’ Never. The focus remains singular upon their Lord God. Hence the prayer has an intimacy between just two, The Worshipper and The Worshipped.
The second thing the Prophets always do is bring the cause of the pain upon their own selves. As in ‘I did this to myself because I crossed a boundary You had set.’ The word in Arabic is almost always zulm. It does not mean, like in the Urdu, cruelty. It means injustice. Hence they say, ‘I was unfair to my own nafs, to my own self.’”
And this is where a new colour in the rainbow emerged. It was not just about the prayer requiring praise. I was about to be made to learn that the praise necessary was the one invoking Allah’s Asma al Husna, His Beautiful Names. 99 of which are given but the Extraordinary have expressed hundreds more. In the course of writing this piece, I created one or two myself.
The reason I learnt the significance of The Names was another verse. Without doubt it was a reward for doing the lecture. For as Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) says the best amongst us is the one who benefits others.
I had wanted to highlight for the young adults the importance of reading. The means by which I was going to make my point was that the first word ever revealed by Allah Subhanahu to His Beloved (peace be upon him) in the Cave of Hira was “Iqra” – Read!
Since no one does that these days, I wanted to remind the kids that it was clearly deemed a necessity for any nafs that sought qurb, closeness or even any kind of movement towards The Divine. In wanting to accentuate that point, I ended up re-reading the full verse which I had happened to translate the exegesis of out of curiosity for what the first revelation contained. I have to confess, then I was constantly in a mode where I glossed over the Names and Attributes entirely in every verse I translated. My focus was always on some other part of the verse.
What happened in that read is best encapsulated by Proust: The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
ٱقْرَأْ بِٱسْمِ رَبِّكَ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ
Read, ˹O Prophet,˺ in the Name of your Lord Who created—
Surah Al Alaq, Verse 1-5
Tafseer e Jilani
Iqra: Read, O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (peace be upon you) and remember after have been sent to you Allah’s Favours, and you have been enwrapped in His Honour…
Bi ismi Rabbika: i.e. be continuous in your remembrance of your Lord’s Names who raises you…
Alladi khalaqa: The One who created everything and made it appear from the hidden-ness of being nothing, according to His Names and Attributes and raised everything in different variations of His Lutf, Affection and Karam, Generosity and bestowed upon everything majestic bounties.
And after Allah gave this Order to His Habeeb (peace be upon him) to read and to remember Allah’s Names and to recite them, Allah then gave another Command; to deeply consider and reflect upon their meanings and to unveil their hidden secrets so He said;
Iqra: Read the reading of consideration that takes you in to depth and unveil that which (the Names and Attributes) consist, which are without match and the amazing things which have been placed in them.
More so than the in advertent intention of trying to be of benefit, my being brought to The Beautiful Names was a gift of Bibi Zainab (as) from my last trip to Damascus. Re=reading the tafseer made me recall a prayer at the Rauza Mubarik of Bibi Ruqaya (as) where I had heard a child utter the Names of Allah in between the posture changes in the namaz.
Then I had only thought, this child will become attached to Allah Subhanahu through His Names at 10 when I only begin to learn that the Names matter at 51. Then I had not even known how much those Names mattered! I had only remembered a single line from the tafseer by Ghaus Pak (ra) from another verse:
“And the one who desires that Allah bestow upon him honour and control and absolute kingdoms and abundance that remains forever, then he should, in his initial stages toward Allah, praise Him by way of His Perfect Names and Exalted Attributes till his remembrance reaches the stages of their reflection in him.”
I had chosen the verse which contained this text the first time because I liked to be reminded that all honour only belongs to Allah. And in another verse, to Allah and His Rasool (peace be upon him and his family). It was necessary to remember that for those who crave honour after which there is never any humiliation. Ever!
مَن كَانَ يُرِيدُ ٱلْعِزَّةَ فَلِلَّهِ ٱلْعِزَّةُ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِلَيْهِ يَصْعَدُ ٱلْكَلِمُ ٱلطَّيِّبُ وَٱلْعَمَلُ ٱلصَّـٰلِحُ يَرْفَعُهُۥ
Whoever desires for himself honor, (should know) then for Allah (alone) is all the Honor.
To Him ascends the good words, and righteous deeds raises it.
Surah Fatir, Verse 10
Tafseer e Jilani:
Man kana yureed ul izzata: The one who wants honour, endless, after which never comes humiliation ever, then he should turn towards Allah and makes his focus His One-ness.
Fa lillahe izzatu: For only Allah is the True Owner of Honour, which includes control, eternal majesty and all kingdoms…
Jami-an: overt (zahiri) and inner (batini). And the one who desires that Allah bestow upon him honour and control and absolute kingdoms and abundance that remains forever, then he should, in his initial stages toward Allah, praise Him by way of His Perfect Names and Exalted Attributes till his remembrance reaches the stages of their reflection in him.
This (the reflection) is the last effort and then he becomes a reflector of Allah’s Being, wanting to unveil the Veils of His Omnipotence, till he becomes present before Him, able to unveil Him and witness the Signs of His Names and Attributes on the surface of the Universe without the distortion created by others.
And overall (in summary), the one who seeks honour should be occupied in the Remembrance by Allah in the early stages because...
Ilayhi yasadu alkalm at tayyabu: towards Him ascend good words which are the Prefect Names of Allah and His Exalted Attributes, increasing in frequency from the tongues of The Sincere and The Ones who Reflect in Allah’s Blessings and His Bounty…
Wal al amal as saleh: and (they should be occupied) in good deeds joined with ikhlas, sincerity and tabbatul, devotion to Him (also ascending towards Him)…
Yarfa’uhu: (which will be why) He then raises that deed founded upon sincerity and those good words allowing them to reach towards the stages of Closeness with Allah. So for the one whose sincerity in his deed is perfect, then the ranks of his words, which are raised towards Allah Subhanahu, are the highest and the most supreme to Him.
Because of the verse I began noticing for the first time how in my namaz, which I had been reading now regularly for years, the Blessed Names of Allah were sprinkled throughout it. From the beginning till the end. If they weren’t uttered as nouns, they appeared as verbs. The knowledge made my utterances become slower and slower so that I paused on every Name.
Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim, Maalik e Youmiddeen, Al Ahad, As Samad, Al Ahad, Al aliyy, Al Hameed, Al Majeed…
I decided to emulate the child in Damascus. As I changed position from standing to touching my knees in ruku’ I started saying a Name. As soon as I did that I realized its profound effect. I was calling someone. I was calling out to my Lord and suddenly, because I was uttering one of His Exalted Names, He was turning His Attention towards me.
The feeling was unreal!
For the first time in my life, a distracted prayer, which I thought was my destiny, since that is what it had been forever, looked like it might shift. Funnily enough someone had gifted me the Names of Allah on a wall hanging years ago. I had hung it on my dressing room where I only glanced at it and every once in a while kissed Al Wadoodu – The Loving One. That was the Name my mother had been told to give me to read a tasbeeh of in my teens based on the science of numerology. Later I realized how that utterance created the foundation for how I would love my whole life.
It’s not like it made me not require return. My love was not unconditional. What it did hold in it from the qualities of Divine Love though was that it was permanent. Not in the sense that my feeling for someone lasted forever. That part dissipated over time. It was still muwaddat though in the sense that no matter how bad the rupture, every single person who knew I loved them, relied on the fact that my doors for them were always open. To my detriment that door became “revolving” I would joke sometimes but still. It was a nice feeling for me to know that capacity came through one of the softest Names of The Divine that left my lips only in obedience to an order of a parent.
Now I took that wall hanging and placed it before me for my longer prayers and started memorizing them.
Each time my tongue uttered a Name, my heart wanted to reflect upon its meaning. I wanted to be connected to it. Sometimes I just expressed gratitude: “Ya Affuw, The Oft Forgiving, thank you for forgiving me again and again. Others I repeated lines I had learnt from Ghaus Pak (ra) in my readings: “Ya Mutawakkal, The One Entrusted, I entrust my matters, all of them, to you, Ya Muslih, O Reformer, reform me…” and so it went on and on.
It was the days leading to Muharram. A single thought kept going in and out of my head. To bring into the kids’ attention how we end up wasting so much time hung up in nostalgia, thinking about people who, given the chance, we might not want to ever have met. I came up with an exercise.
“Imagine,” I wanted to say, “if Allah Subhanahu said to you, ‘I will bring you back into a womb. You tell me, of the people you have interacted with to-date, which person you want to appear in this new life. The interaction, this relationship, with the person you choose, if you choose someone, will be exactly the same as it was in this life you had.”
I thought about the question for myself. Was there anyone at all I wanted to be in my life and have the exact same experience with. Turned out my answer was No! I wanted everything and everyone to be new. Reset! Maybe I would be poorer, maybe I would be unwell, maybe I would be unhappier but I thought I would choose newness to come from my Rabb, Allah Al Muqtadir, who always raised me with kindness.
There was one exception that kept coming to my mind. My mother!
Knowing that at five she would send me to a boarding school that would render me emotionally numb for the next 15 years. Knowing that while I was there she would sometimes not call on my birthday and forget to ensure that there was money for me to spend on the one or two days a year that the students went to eat out and shop in the town. Knowing that when I would return I would be 10 and she would be 36 and she would have little to no time for me because she was busy with her friends. Knowing that she would die when I would turn 26 and it would devastate me forever.
It was not because she was considered, in her life and after her premature death at 53, unique. People who are outstanding, distinctive, are a little crazy. They are haphazard. No, I thought to myself, that would not be my reason.
Then I wondered it would be because of two attributes that she had been gifted in her nature intrinsically; forgiveness and generosity. Qualities both uncommon and exalted. But in truth, both of those worked against me as a child. She forgave too easily those who were unkind to me. When in my mid-teens I finally drummed up the courage to ask her why, her answers left me speechless each time.
One of those people who were relentless in their meanness was a step-mother. We had to spend three long summer months with her in another city. Only the presence of cousins living there mitigated that. My father was silent about it, pretending he didn’t know. Every time the woman came to Lahore my mother warmly invited her over for tea.
“I don’t understand,” I finally asked, “Why would you ask her to come to our house when we feel miserable in hers for days on end? It’s humiliating.”
“Because,” she said just once and it was enough, “she was widowed at an early age with a small child. Perhaps that loss made her how she is. And perhaps one day because of my kindness to her, she will be kinder to you.”
Her sensitivity for the unknown in another person’s life floored me. I never broached the subject again.
When it came to generosity, she always gave of that which she needed herself. And therefore of what we needed as a single parent family. The act caused me anxiety because I had taken on responsibilities in the house that were not mine to bear and that I was too young to assume. Then I felt like she was half crazy to take from my plate, not knowing if it would be enough for me and give from it to another. Later, I learnt it was the daily act of the Ahl e Beit, the members of the Prophet of God (peace be upon him and his family) and verses of the Quran descended because of them.
But those attributes were not the reason I would choose her.
“So why then,” my nafs asked?
“Because once,” I told it after considering it carefully, “once she choose to sacrifice her heart’s last desire. Literally the last! And it for us, her children’s sake.”
I wrote a story about the event in 2005. It was early days of realization that I could write. The beginning was a series of personal history pieces. I had titled it The Third Marriage.
Begin
It was 1986. Life in Lahore had always been unusual for me. My parents were separated by then which was a low incidence situation for upper-middle class families back then. I had returned from boarding school a few years ago and lived in our house with my brother and mother and the staff. My elder sister had chosen to remain in Murree, unfazed and returned only after finishing all 11 years before starting college. My five had rendered me emotionally numb but able to be independent emotionally with the adeptness of an adult.
Samina, that was her name. Ami is what us children called her, the most common Pakistani term for mother. She was a beautiful woman, tall, slim with a life that was dramatic and difficult through all its stages. In 1986, she was seriously contemplating marriage for the third time. The history of that institution for her had also been dramatic and difficult. This time the options were even more unique – two Caucasian males were the suitors, both successful in their chosen careers, both previously married with off-spring in other countries. The consideration to marry was unique in and of itself. It was a time in Lahore when men didn’t marry twice. And if they did, they hid it. A third time was practically unheard of at all, much less for a woman.
Ray was 50 plus, a soft-spoken, rotund American originally from Georgia who had spent the last 30 years living in South Asia with the State Department. Whenever I did see him or speak to him, which wasn’t often, he was always sweet and kind. He was an avid lover of opera and sometimes when I went to pick up my mother or drop her off, I heard his music playing well into the garden. I had never heard it before except in movies and didn’t like it much then, not like I have grown to like it now.
He had older children some of whom had given him a tough time and it was expected that he would be a more reliable step-father. After all anything was to be expected from my brother and sister, both of whom were generally in some sort of trouble that only got more serious with age. The tell-tale sign was that each of them had to change their educational institution practically every year. My mother’s reaction to that upheaval was impressive. She never dwelt on anything for long. It happened, was her MO, let’s move on to what should happen next.
Once a month, my siblings and I went to Ray’s house in Lahore for dinner. I was 15 at the time, which made my brother 11 and my sister 19. We usually got there just before it was time to eat. I was studying like an insane person for my O’Level exams that were coming up and didn’t have time for much of anything. The table was always set formally even if were eating burgers. The only attraction at the time, for the three on our end I think, was the American food we would eat. Something from the commissary, the place the American staff of the Embassy in the city had access to exclusively to purchase American food products.
Ray’s three, also two girls and a boy, were all older than myself. Two were in high school and one was in college. They were always nice to us but they appeared to be busy with a lot on their social calendar and these dinners seemed to interrupt that. Hence, during the meals they would be leaving and returning, sometimes taking smoke breaks talking to friends on the phone and sometimes, to say a word to their friends hanging out in their rooms waiting for them to be done.
Ray tried to get them to sit through the meal in its entirety but he usually failed. They made jokes with each other sometimes in reference to “The Brady Bunch” but since none of us knew what that was, it was only followed by awkward silences on our parts. As soon as dinner was over, the three of us would march to our car and go home while the three of them would re-enter their expatriate lives in Lahore.
Bob was relatively a youthful man in his 40s from Rotterdam, a hotel management executive, who had been in Lahore for a few years. He was divorced, had two small children who were under the age of 10 and whom we never met. I played tennis with him occasionally but other than that just met him to say hi when he was over at our house. The conversation was always polite and brief, we exchanged niceties.
He drove some fancy car the hotel had given him and I was always trying to conspire how to wrest the keys from him, making up lame excuses of how I could not get our car past it so I could sneak it out for a drive. I remember one night when I had taken it for a spin finding Bob pacing at our gate on my return. He didn’t say a word as I stepped out of the car meekly and went inside as he drove away, clearly irritated but not saying a word to me about it.
I don’t think even my mother admonished me for that act, even though she did say something, throwing in words like “insurance” and “liability” that seemed somewhat forced and not anything she appeared too concerned about. Ami loved Bob, I think she was in love with him. I never knew exactly why but I knew she loved him because in the analysis and selection phase, she always ended up favoring him.
The dilemma that was discussed ad nauseum between my mother and her female cousins, who met every day as part of their daily routine, was who to pick. For weeks, I walked in and out of rooms and through conversations where the eternally unfinished list of pros and cons was being outlined verbally. The lists were not long and the attributes were in opposites and therefore simple, uncomplicated.
They appeared to be mostly in repeat mode, no new light was being shed in these discussions. It was such a big deal though that not enough could be said about it. All the women were anxious on some level. They knew my mother would eventually pick one of the two and leave the country and the men in the family would briefly lose their minds. But that was not a deterrent by any means. Their love for my mother knew no bounds.
Her life had been difficult from the beginning when they were in their teens and the path she had been on, some of it mapped by her parents and some herself, had been nothing like their own which was easier, always settled, always known. They were all socially conservative, deeply religious and what I remember and absorbed by being around them all my life and that seeped into my nature directly was their lack of judgement. People made decisions that sometimes didn’t make sense overtly to the rest of the world, seemingly wrong, even harmful but one couldn’t know all the reasons why and eventually had to respect that rather than lash out at them.
They were probably most worried about whether this unusual and risky move was the right one for her this time and probably just prayed a little harder for that when they said their namaz. My mother was the peacock in the group, not because she was the most beautiful, that they all were, but because she was different. She knew that, they knew it. She always had been.
She had gained exposure to life by branching out from what had been narrowly and simply declared their “life” through marriage and motherhood, through the patriarchs of the family and society at large. More publicly known were only her sharp deviations from the norms of Pakistani society that made her different, the failed marriages, the mixed parties at her residence where alcohol was served, music was played and on occasion people danced.
But they were her anchor after her mother died. In terms of having the closest thing to unconditional love from a parent, they were that source. But unconditional love from peers, as I enjoy from my friends and cousins today, has its downsides because it can advise and inform major decisions but after a point that is reached quickly, the love takes over everything else.
In the list, Bob was young, Ray was old. Bob had children under the age of 10, Ray’s three were all older than myself and therefore according to American culture as explained to my mother, were going to be on their own sooner or later. Both had similar financial strengths. Sometimes my aunts would mix the names up. Their mastery of the foreign tongue, in this case English, was not the best.
When they did speak in it, which was only out of necessity, I loved it because it always made me giggle and it always made them giggle as they dismissed its importance. I believe both men also knew that they were under scrutiny as both had asked my mother to marry them, both were awaiting an answer. I remember one evening when Ray was over, one of my aunts walked in the room with an endearing smile, greeting him with a “Hello Bob.”
Ray almost lost it for a second and grumbled back, “My name is RAY”, emphasizing the end of the sentence even then in his gentle, calming manner. I think in her panic and embarrassment, my aunt started laughing, apologizing profusely. My mother was smiling to herself as she changed the subject saying to Ray, as if it should have been comforting, that he knew her cousins’ English was not good.
So Ray or Bob remained the hotly debated subject. My brother was out of the loop entirely struggling with his impending teens. My sister was usually out of the house spending the end of her teens with friends. I was drawn in to the conversations occasionally, my opinion generally more sought than my siblings’ because of a precocious maturity and responsibility I assumed in the running of a house with an absentee male figure.
I didn’t have much to add, both men seemed decent and I barely knew them enough to favor either. My life sans my father had made me very used to not needing men at all. I didn’t understand the implications on my life per se as a result of this action because there seemed to be none. All except the embarrassment it would cause the family of course that my mother coming from an old feudal family will have entered into marriage with a non-muslim, white man. Although I’m pretty sure a forced conversion for the ritual had been agreed upon. Perhaps that was always my prime concern and I secretly believed that it would never happen for that reason.
It was wishful hoping on my part. I had spent the bulk of my life in silent resentment of not being given a normal life by my parents. But I digress. Finally a decision was made from the heart. Ironically it favored Ray. Ami had called her spiritual guide, Wasif Sahib, a scholar, a poet and a Sufi who addressed a group once a month to discuss spirituality and poetry, life and roles, rights and duties in the context of Islam.
He asked her one question: Who do you think will take better care of your children? She knew it would be Ray and told him so truthfully. His advice then was that he would make the better choice but of course it was up to her to finally decide.
A few weeks later, I recall all our stuff being packed and shipped off. One night we were in Lahore, the next landing in Dhaka, Ray’s next posting, leaving our home with a large padlock at the gate. We didn’t ask any questions, there were no answers we sought. Ami sold her house without a soul knowing about it. Except for the partners in crime cousins, of course.
End Story
“So that’s why,” I said to my nafs as it listened intently clearly remembering none of it. It left me wondering, unsure if its overwhelming feeling was sadness or awe.
She gave up what her heart desired most of all, knowing that it was the last chance for this particular happiness to come her way. It had been a life soaked in pain and crushed hopes. Extinguishing that last candle herself, seeing her do it, never uttering a word of reproach, never the sound of a complaint, that’s the reason I would want just her in my life again. Even though if I could count the time we spent together, near each other in close proximity. It wouldn’t be years. Perhaps it would be months. Likely, just weeks. Until she would die at 53 and I would remain alive for decades with only a broken heart to mark her existence.
It felt uncanny that these thoughts were coming to me a day before Muharram was to begin. But then when I thought about it, it wasn’t so surprising.
Muharram is the start of the Islamic year which operates on the lunar calendar. The 31st of December has no meaning. There are no fireworks or parties, toasts around clinking glasses to mark the occasion. The year starts on a deeply mournful note with tears, somber, serious and when one is fortunate enough to understand why, deeply reflective. There is no kind of festivity for at least the first 10 days by those who hold love and regard for the Ahl e Beit, the hosuehold of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family).
The month marks the epitome of sacrifice, in brutal circumstances, in the name of love, in the name of God by the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him and his family), Hazrat Imam Hussain (as). It is the month in which he became the reason the religion itself survived, having mutated beyond belief just 40 years after the Prophet (peace be upon him). And it was not just because of his martyrdom at Karbala but because he took, thousands of years later, the place of Hazrat Ismael’s (as) would-be sacrifice.
وَتَرَكْنَا عَلَيْهِ فِي الْآخِرِينَ
And We left (this blessing) for him among generations to come in later times.
Surah As-Saffat, Verse 108
The event was not imposed upon him. The most blessed Imam (as) chose this ending when he was a soul and there was a meeting of the Extraordinary in the Heavens with their Lord God. In that meeting lay the explanation for one of the most elusive and debated upon ahadith of the Mercy of the Universe (peace be upon him).
Begin excerpt The Softest Heart
قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ حُسَيْنٌ مِنِّي وَأَنَا مِنْ حُسَيْنٍ”
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said (most notably):
“Hussain (as) is from me and I am from Hussain (as).”
The tafseer of that line I heard from Mamu who heard it from his Spiritual Master (also from Golra Shareef), was one I had never heard from anyone else. Everyone understood the second part of the sentence. Hazrat Imam Hussain (ratu) was his grandson therefore he was from him but the first part was unclear. How was the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) from Hazrat Imam Hussain (ratu)? This was the explanation I had received.
Once when God was surrounded by the souls of his prophets and the family of his Beloved (peace be upon him), in the unfolding of events, when He came to the part of the Prophet Ibrahim (as) sacrificing his son, Hazrat Ismael (as), Hazrat Imam Hussain (ratu) stood up. He said that if Hazrat Ismael (as) was sacrificed as a child, his lineage would end there and the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) would never be born.
All the prophets have descended from the line of Hazrat Ibrahim’s other son, the Prophet Ishaaq or Isaac (as). Only Hazrat Muhammad (peace be upon him) comes from the line of Hazrat Ismael (as). It would become the number one reason the Jews would reject him despite his oft mention in their own book, the Torah. Therefore Hazrat Imam Hussain (ratu) offered himself to be sacrificed instead of Hazrat Ismael (as) and so it was deemed. Hence the Prophet (peace be upon him) had said that he had come to exist because of Imam Hussain (ratu); “and I am from Hussain.”
End excerpt The Softest Heart
He chose the sacrifice and it was not just him as an individual. It would be a massacre, brutal, where children were slain with arrows used to hunt animals piercing their throats. There would be a blockade of food and water for days for those who shared their own supplies with the enemy before the fighting began. Every single male member of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family), who were after him the appearance of Allah’s Noor, would be killed mercilessly with the exception of one; Hazrat Imam Zain ul Abideen (as) who was seriously ill.
The Imam Hussain (as) could not be slain in one to one combat by anyone. Throes of arrows and spears would then be hurled upon his person until he fell from his horse to the ground. In those final moments, his physical body entirely covered in injuries and wounds, having witnessed the martyrdom of all the male members of his entire clan, he would fall into prostration and in that sajda utter his last words addressing his Lord God:
I left all creatures for the sake of You
and I orphaned the children so that I see You.
So even if I am cut into pieces for the love of You,
the heart would lean to none other than You.
Every time I read the words my eyes filled with tears, my heart with envy and even “my deaf, mute, blind and insane nafs” with a yearning of the possibility of a sacrifice from my self for my Rabb. A sacrifice that would at least manifest itself in this world for another human being and be counted by Allah Al Muhsi, The One who takes account of all things. Imam Hussain’s (as) sacrifice was for his grandfather’s Ummah, his nation, but it was also for an entire Universe to preserve the remembrance of God. For without him the existence of truth would have perished forever.
ہر اک ذہن میں ہے کچھ نہ کچھ تصور حق
ہم اس تصور حق کو حسین کہتے ہیں
har ek zehn mein hai kuch na kuch tasawar e haq
hum uss tasawar e haq ko hussain (ratu) kehte hain
Every mind has in it some perception of truth,
that perception of truth in each is what we call Hussain (as)
On the second day of Muharram, the beginning of August, Qari Sahib returned from Hajj. It was lovely to see him. He didn’t tell me much about his travel but I saw the noor on his face.
“You don’t look tired at all Sir,” I remarked, genuinely surprised. All I had heard and seen from rich people was how they immediately fell into a state of exhaustion and then illness upon their return.
“It’s the Quran,” he replied. “It doesn’t let you feel tired.”
“Really?” I asked, wanting confirmation.
“Really!” he said smiling his broad smile.
I made a mental note to hope for that effect upon me when I performed the Hajj. Except for him as a hafiz, it was in his head. He could recite it whenever he wanted to no end. Still, I had been looking up the Names of Allah Subhanahu to vary my invocations. I realized why in the three prayers where the recitation of the Surah was changed from Ikhlas to the reader’s choice, repetition was makrooh, disliked by God. It made sense. People who keep saying the same thing every time you meet them are deathly boring. I can’t figure out for the life of me what’s happening in their head.
I asked my cousin, Sanya, who was a therapist why they did that. She was very helpful.
“One answer could be that there mind is still trying to make sense of it. The issue remains unresolved.”
Suddenly I remembered all the instances when I was a parrot in rote myself precisely because something was stuck in my head!
Still I had said in the lecture to the kids.
“Even if you don’t have something new to call out to Allah Subhanahu and you keep saying the same Name again and again and again, it will gain His Attention. Imagine if you’re sitting with someone who doesn’t pay any attention to you. If you start saying their name over and over in your sentences, even they will eventually turn around and finally say, ‘WHAT’?”
The approach made me smile as I said it and the kids laugh.
But its result was undeniable.
There were many Names whose meaning I did not even know. I knew what I would be working on next with Qari Sahib. It would just be the tafseer of the Exalted Names of Allah Subhanahu in various verses of the Quran. Each context would reveal something new, unveil a secret. Which would change my prayer and perhaps me with it!
Qari Sahib asked me what had been happening in the weeks he was gone. I told him the verse that had been my primary focus while he was away. How to avoid with gracious avoidance. He asked me who I had learnt to apply the verse upon. Who had to be avoided beautifully. After all we were also friends.
“The details behind it don’t really matter anymore Sir. The experience for me was revelatory in terms of deconstructing behaviour. Mine as well as others. People get used to living in a cave of pain. Because of something that happened to them. Or even something that continues to happen to them. A cave is a cave, it’s drenched only in darkness.
Then one day the person in it raises their hands to the heavens and asks for a ray of light. Soon after, exactly such a ray of light pierces the hard rock near the mouth of the cave and enters it. Mesmerized by the appearance, they start walking towards it. That pursuit is what makes them, perhaps unknowingly, leave the cave after ages.
Once outside they see the blues of the sky and the greens of trees and grass. They hear birds and see butterflies. They notice colours and sounds that imbue nature. They see their heart fleeing towards all of that beauty, they feel its elation. The joy is uncontrollable, it cannot be hidden. It is forced to reveal itself, it requires expression.
And then out of nowhere they remind themselves, forcibly, of the cave. Of those many days and nights that were spent there. They asks themselves, “But isn’t that out real abode?” After all, it was what shaped their identity, public and private, for years. You weren’t here Sir so I asked someone else who lives and exits such a cave himself from time to time this question.
‘I just want to know this. In those steps,’ I said to my friend, ‘when the person has turned their back on the sun and the moon, in that walk back to the cave just before re-entering it, what is the thought in their mind?’ I truly had no idea.
My friend looked away and with a most knowing expression turned back to say to me, ‘They are saying, “I am in charge of my life. I will take care of things. I am the one who knows what best for me, what I like, how I like it. I will decide my matters.”’
Then he paused and said softly, ‘They feel a pride in their pain. But mostly I guess they are ungrateful. Why else or rather how else does one walk from light towards darkness.’”
He made me think of Allah’s Name, An Noor!
“From the root, noon, wao, ra, which has the following classical Arabic connotations: to give light, to illuminate, to fill with light to clarify, to reveal, to make visible to blossom, to be in bloom (revealed) to be flaming, blazing and apparent to the senses to enlighten, give counsel and give advice.”
Qari Sahib listened to me quietly. He gave me a reference where Allah Subhanahu was stating that the trajectory of life was the opposite. And the darkness I was wondering about was clearly defined!
ٱللَّهُ وَلِىُّ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ يُخْرِجُهُم مِّنَ ٱلظُّلُمَـٰتِ إِلَى ٱلنُّورِ
Allah is the Protecting Guardian of those who believed.
He brings them out from the darkness towards the light.
Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 257
Tafseer e Jilani:
Allahu: The One who is The Gatherer of All Attributes and All Names…
Walliulladina Aamino: He is The Friend of those who bring faith upon Him. He raises them, according to His Qualities and all that He encompasses (which is everything)…
Yukhrijjuhum min adulumaat: and brings them out of the darkness, which is the darkness of their nature and darkness of their doubts (of possibilities) and all other darkness…
Ilan Noor: towards the Light, crystal clear, His Pure One-ness, free of dust and all other associations.
For the first time every time I translated a verse, I looked for one of my Rabb’s Names. The Name in this one with Allah was Wali-un.
“From the root wao, laam, ye, which has the following classical Arabic connotation: to be near, close, nearby to be a friend, helper, supporter, maintainer to defend, guard to be in charge, to turn one towards something to be the master, owner, lord.
I had found a website with the Exalted Names (myislam.org/99-names-of-allah/). I chose it because in it were also the verses where they appeared in the Quran. I started making a list to memorize the verses. To study their tafseer, to utter them, those praises, in my namaz. I wanted to learn as many of them as I could to gain His Attention.
For the line in the qayam of namaz itself made the point best:
سَمِعَ اللَّهُ لِمَنْ حَمِدَهُ
Allah hears whoever praises Him.
Hazrat Sahel Tustari (ra) says that two things are a direct consequence of relying on one’s own self. The worst of behaviour damaging to one’s own self; anger, harshness.
“Truly anger (ghadab) and harshness (hidda) come from the servant’s dependence on his own strength (quwwa). However, when he gives up relying on his own strength, weakness will take up residence in his soul, and this will generate mercy (rahma) and benevolence (lutf) from him, which is to take on the characteristics of the Lord, His Majesty be magnified.”
Allah Al Qawwi, Allah Ar Raheem, Allah Al Lateef!
I looked up Al Lateef. Kindness was the key for any goodness to count said Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family). Without it the entire act was void!
“From the root laam, ta, fa, which has the following classical Arabic connotation: to be thin, delicate, refined, elegant, graceful, gentle, gracious, courteous, kindly, subtle, to the know the obscurities of all affairs, to treat with regard for circumstances, to be the most soothing and refined in manner, to treat with kindness, goodness, gentleness, benevolence, and affection.”
ٱللَّهُ لَطِيفٌۢ بِعِبَادِهِۦ
Allah is Gentle for His Worshippers.
Surah Ash Shura, Verse 19
Said Al Ghazali about the Name and Attribute, “The one who understands this Name knows the subtleties of those things which are beneficial, as well as their hidden aspects, along with what is subtle about them and what is benevolent. In conveying them to those who are deserving, he is committed to the path of gentleness rather than harshness.”
There was that word again, harshness.
In this last experience I had learnt that the harshness that people dealt out was in fact indifference. First turned upon themselves and therefore very easily on others. And anger, Ghaus Pak (ra) had said in multiple tafaseer of the word, was a pure disruption of the mind. It the forced the exit of the aql, the ability to consider, in the first instant of its appearance. Its other guaranteed consequence was a false sense of dignity which the nafs, the base self, and Iblis used as their major weapon to destroy peace of mind most easily by plying on justification.
Justification was always the trap. A trap that even Prophets admited:
وَمَآ أُبَرِّئُ نَفْسِىٓ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلنَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌۢ بِٱلسُّوٓءِ إِلَّا مَا رَحِمَ رَبِّىٓ ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّى غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ
"And yet I am not trying to absolve my nafs, self.
Indeed, the nafs is a certain inciter of evil,
unless [that] my Lord bestows Mercy. Indeed, my Lord (is) Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Surah Yusuf, Verse 53
Tafseer e Jilani
The he, Hazrat Yusuf (as) said:
Wa ma ubarri’o: And I do not absolve and do not justify…
Nafsi: my nafs, my self, from furataat, excessiveness and ghafalaat, forgetfulness and shameful thoughts and repulsive deeds according to the demands of the organs of lust and animalistic desires and how can I absolve myself and justify it?
Inna an nafsa: Indeed the nafs, the base self, that has been embodied in the nature of human beings…
La-Ammaarat-un: the forceful commanding of which is by its nature towards …
Bis su’: wrong-doing and fasaad, corruption and its focus upon that whenever it’s free and is its nature…
Illa ma rahima Rabbi: except for the one upon whom is bestowed the Mercy of my Lord i.e. Allah protects that nafs by His Endless Mercy and Affection from its transgressions and the whisperings of Satan towards it.
Inna Rabbi: Indeed my Lord, who has raised me with safeguarding from sin and with virtuousness…
Ghafooran: is All Forgiving of that which has happened from me from the occurrences of my nafs…
Raheemun: is All Merciful. He bestows Mercy towards me with His Fazal, Bounty and He preserves me with His Lutf, Kindness, from those things that make me distant from His Kunuf, Protection and His Jawaar, Safety.
Ghaus Pak (ra) says in Al Fath Ar Rabbni: “You are a Munafiq because you are a hypocrite to your own nafs. Because you lie to it.” All those years of lying. The nafs now in control, the tabyat overwhelming the fitrat, was just lying back. It was the fruits of seeds sown, unwittingly, in a state of unawareness.
For anger the words Kadimeen al ghaid from a verse came to mind: for those who restrain it!
ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِى ٱلسَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلْكَظِمِينَ ٱلْغَيْظَ وَٱلْعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ ۗ
وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ
Those who spend in ease and in hardship and those who restrain the anger and those who pardon the people - and Allah loves the Muhsineen, the good-doers.
Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 134
Tafseer e Jilani
Alladina yunfiqoona: They (the Muttaqeen) are the ones who spend from the good that they earn from a livelihood that is tangible and intangible on the ones who are deserving from the Servants of Allah. It is equal for them…
Fi sarra’e: in happiness, meaning when they are free of their busyness which is being a hurdle from true focus upon Allah…
Wa darra’ae: in difficulty in the happening of incidents which happen to them because of their necessities of being human beings.
Wal kadimeen al ghaida: And (the Muttaqeena) are Al Maasikeena, those who hold, Al Kaafeena, those who stop, their anger at the time of sudden arousal of the expression of it and the storm of (fake) dignity of being a human being that rises from the requirements of the animalistic (show of) strength.
Wal aafina an in-naas: And they forgive people, they are the ones who pardon and give up punishing of those who do wrong to them and those who are unjust to them because they are steadfast upon Tauheed, Allah’s One-ness, which decimates the additional feelings (of anger) and conflicts overall.
Wallahu: And Allah Al Muttali’u, The One who is Watchful, of the secrets of His Servants...
Yuhibbul Muhsineen: loves them with all their types of good deeds, especially the controlling of anger and forgiving despite power (not to do so).
And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Indeed, these people (the Muhsineen) are few in my nation except the ones safeguarded by Allah and certainly they were many in the nations before mine.”
Again the words appeared to define anger; show of strength, again a false sense of dignity.
I went back to the verse on “gracious avoidance.” Ghaus Pak’s (ra) tafseer on Allah Subhanahu’s instruction of that avoidance was imbued with lutf, kindness and gentleness. Why?
Because the first words he used in the interaction with them was “be smiling and cheerful.”
I realized from those words that he taught me something I could never have known otherwise. If the heart likes someone and affection has been placed in it, forcing it to dislike them, be harsh or angry with them, only causes intense distress. Hence one was allowed and even told to meet them smiling and cheerful because that’s exactly how the heart in fact wanted to greet them.
When we were translating it, I even asked Qari Sahib why the words repeated; smiling, cheerful. Didn’t they mean the same thing?
He said, “It’s because sometimes the mouth smiles but the forehead hides a frown. There is a disconnect, an insincerity. Ghaus Pak (ra) is saying, be both and be both truthfully.”
I have to say I felt over the moon. I was one of those who distressed my heart to no end in forcing it to feel “a false sense of dignity” under a guise of preserving self-esteem. I then became one of those that inflicted harshness upon my own nafs.
In those early days of Muharram I tried to listen to only lectures about the event of Karbala. Not listening to music was something I had done as a child because my family did it. For years that was the only thing I didn’t do. This year I tried to keep my focus on the blessed persons of the family of the Messenger who perfects the Messengers (peace be upon him) and them alone.
One of them happened to be on Imam Hussain’s (as) son, the sole male survivor of Karbala: Imam Zain ul Abideen (as).
Part II Continued on: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52273833091/in/datepos...
The Tongue persuaded by the Ego
روی نفس مطمئنه در جسد
زخم ناخنهای فکرت میکشد
Like nails, evil thoughts scratch the face of the Naf e Mutmainna, your soul.
فکرت بد ناخن پر زهر دان
میخراشد در تعمق روی جان
Know that your wicked thoughts are as if dipped in poison.
Delving into them deeper only damages the face of the soul more.
Maulana Rum (ra)
After Karachi, Lahore felt good. It was cool. There were days of rain. Those were spectacular. Then I met people and everyone seemed sad. For the first time, that mood didn’t permeate into mine. Otherwise it was pure osmosis and within days, I would be feeling tired myself. I don’t know why that didn’t happen. Maybe because I had returned from a stellar trip and my tank of energy was at “full.”
I had videos to make but Ustad was nowhere to be found so I was just taking in the mildness of the weather. On a random day I found a lecture of Uzair’s on Tasawuff; spirituality in Islam. I have never known the technical definition of spirituality so I put it on as I stretched for my daily game of table tennis. Unsurprisingly, it turned out to be fantastic.
Many Muslims and certainly non-Muslims, especially in the West, think erroneously that spirituality in Islam lies outside the faith. Maulana Rum (ra) becomes a staple for any person from any background exploring a path of self-knowing.
Celebrities like Tilda Swinton, Chris Martin, Drake and Madonna, Beyonce recently named her daughter after him, are enamored by him. But when it comes to his writing, Western translators have always excluded Islam from his identity. So much so that two academics had to start an online campaign naming it “Rumi is Muslim.” I didn’t realize people didn’t even know that much about him.
6th June 2020: “Sharghzadeh, a Detroit-based graduate of The University of Michigan and co-founder of ‘Rumi Was Muslim’ told The New Arab that "many of Rumi's most famous works have been translated from Western scholars to remove any mention of Islam, and often embedded with orientalist tropes." Context and history surrounding the poet's work, which are both linked closely with his identity as a Muslim, are often absent entirely, and add to further misinterpretation.
‘Mowlana is universal, but he didn't emerge in a vacuum, he was Muslim, and his universality should be understood within the context of the Islamic tradition. It's a form of cultural theft and Islamophobic erasure to downplay his Islamic identity,’ explains Sharghzadeh.
The New Yorker, Jan 5th, 2017; “Fatemeh Keshavarz, a professor of Persian studies at the University of Maryland, said that Rumi probably had the Koran memorized, given how often he drew from it in his poetry. Rumi himself described the “Masnavi” as “the roots of the roots of the roots of religion”—meaning Islam—“and the explainer of the Koran.” And yet little trace of the religion exists in the translations that sell so well in the United States…For those in the West, Rumi and Islam were separated.”
I had been asking myself over the last decade how the birth of any certain sentence repeated by most in the West had come about. People who explored or wished to explore mindfulness loved saying; “I am spiritual but I am not religious.” I heard the line so often I wondered if people even knew what they were saying. Were they just repeating it rote to find belonging in some community they had come to believe as admirable?
“The Foundations of Tasawuff” was the title of Uzair’s lecture and this was his preface;
“There is no such thing as non-Islamic Tasawuff, spirituality. Spirituality in Islam only comes from the Quran. The religion itself is a source of benefit only for a human being as well as society as a whole, sent by God and through His Prophet (peace be upon him).
There are two kinds of Tasawuff, reactive and proactive. Reactive Tasawuff is when that benefit decreed by Allah is obstructed by something and someone. This makes the Sufi, be they a scholar, or a Faqih, irritated. Whatever becomes a veil in the connection between God and a person, they will always react to that. In contrast to that, proactive Tasawuff is that they will want you to engage with your Lord, your Creator.”
Uzair then started with the definition of deen – faith/religion with the verse;
الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِي
وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الْإِسْلَامَ دِينًا
فَمَنِ اضْطُرَّ فِي مَخْمَصَةٍ غَيْرَ مُتَجَانِفٍ لِّإِثْمٍ
فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيم
This day I have perfected for you your religion and I have completed upon you My Favor and I have willed for you Islam, self-surrender, your religion.
As for him whoever is driven to what is forbidden by dire necessity and not the inclining to sin, then indeed, Allah (is) Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Surah Al-Maida’, Verse 3
“So we see that the completion of the faith, Islam, obedience and surrender, is announced in the Quran. The Book provides the theory for a Muslim. What is missing then is the application. Theory on its own, by itself, is incomplete. In fact, it is useless. Hence, along with the Quran is sent a Rasool, a Messenger, so one can ask him, ‘Why have you come? To do what?’”
Uzair answered the question with a hadith.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَعَثَنِي بِتَمَامِ مكارمِ الأَخْلاقِ وَكَمَالِ مَحَاسِنِ الأَفْعَالِ
"Indeed, Allah has sent me for the perfection of noble morals and the completion of good deeds.”
“The building of character that 124,000 Prophets contributed to, our Nabi (saw) says he has been sent, to render it complete, make it perfect.
You then start to notice that nowhere in the Quran does Allah say ‘Follow Me.’ Instead He makes it clear who it is that has to be surrendered to in order to surrender to Him and His Will.
قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ
وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيم
Say (O Beloved), "If you love Allah, then follow me and Allah will love you
and He will forgive for you your sins. And Allah (is) Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 31
Huzoor (peace be upon him) is the application of the theory. The one who follows him, is obedient to him, automatically becomes obedient to Allah.
مَّن يُطِعِ الرَّسُولَ فَقَدْ أَطَاعَ اللَّهَ وَمَن تَوَلَّىٰ فَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ عَلَيْهِمْ حَفِيظً
He who obeys the Messenger, then surely he obeyed Allah, and whoever turns away - then We have not sent you over them as a guardian.
Surah An-Nisa, Verse 80
Thus obedience of Allah directly is not possible for any human being. It comes only through obedience of His Prophet (peace be upon him). Allah makes it conditional. ‘If you are obedient to him, you are obedient to Me.’ This, then, is the theory and application of the deen, the religion.
What is deen, religion? It has three aspects; Imaneeyat is the first. Imaneeyat is witnessing that which is outside the realm of our five senses. It has not been witnessed by us but there is someone who has been the witness to it. We, in turn, bear witness to that witness and this becomes imaneeyat. It forms belief.
For example, we have not seen God but our Rasool (peace be upon him) has seen Him. So we are indirect witnesses. We have not seen angels and Heaven and Hell. They are unobservable for us. The details of what they are, how they look, what is inside them, only comes from him. Our beliefs then become a function of our aql, reason, ability to reflect. Be it through trust or logic or whatever.”
I recalled a hadith from Mairaj, the Night of Ascension, when Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) asked Allah, “When they ask me what you are like, what will I say to them?”
Allah Azzo Jal told him, “Say, ‘The one who has seen me has seen the Truth.’”
Uzair: “The second aspect of deen is amaal salih, righteous deeds. They are a function of my body, the jism. How I interact with people, how do I interact with God. This comes under Fiqh, Islamic Jurisprudence.
The third aspect is ahwaal o kaifiyat, the states. The Quran gives weight to all three facets. Imanyeeat is the proof of one’s beliefs (aqeeda). It lies in the deeds and is reflected by them.”
It was exactly how Maulana (ra) describes Hazrat Ali (ratu) behaviour when he forgave the man who spat on him in battle;
شیرِ حقم ، نیستم شیر ھوا
فعل من بر دین من باشد گوا
“I am the Lion of Allah, I do not cave to the desires of the self.
And my deeds will bear witness to my faith.”
When we were studying Surah Yaseen in our Quran class, one of the verses that I have never forgotten in the tafseer was;
هُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُهُمْ فِي ظِلَالٍ عَلَى الْأَرَائِكِ مُتَّكِئُون
They and their spouses lie in shades, reclining on couches.
Surah Yaseen, Verse 56
Qari Sahib was explaining the Surah over several weeks from the Tafseer e Jilani. It was one of those verses that I would have otherwise probably not paid much attention to. I am single, there are no spouses I imagine sitting with anywhere, here or there.
But then he said, “The azwaaj, always translated as ‘the spouse,’ Ghaus Pak (ra) says these are rewards of your good deeds.”
To this day every time I read the Surah, which is quite frequently since I heard that it is one of three that Allah will himself recite to us on the Day of Judgement, the verse makes me happy. Me and my deeds hanging on a couch! Regardless of what they end up being, the fact that his explanation of the line was so inclusive was magnificent.
Imaneeyat means imaan, the faith one possesses. The thing not known or even possible to determine by one’s own self. Which lay in the heart. Only Allah knew whether it was there or not. How it changed, deepened. I already knew that. I write about it constantly and vie for it day in and day out, wondering all the while; is it there, will it ever be there, will it stay or just make a cameo appearance?
Iman is entirely different from Islam. Which was simply the utterance of the Shahada, (La Ilaha Illallah, Muhammad Ar Rasool Allah). Every time I have read the following verse of the Quran it has made me ponder the difference between those two states for my own self.
Once some Bedouins who embraced Islam came to see Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). They said to him,
قَالَتِ الْأَعْرَابُ آمَنَّا
“We have attained to faith.”
They were trying to imply that by doing so they had done a favour upon the Prophet (peace be upon him). Allah disliked their attitude and the verse was revealed.
قُل لَّمْ تُؤْمِنُوا وَلَٰكِن قُولُوا أَسْلَمْنَا وَلَمَّا يَدْخُلِ الْإِيمَانُ فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ
Say unto them, “You have not attained to faith.
But rather you say, ‘We have embraced Islam and have thus (outwardly) surrendered.’
For true faith has not entered your hearts.”
Then after the reprimand and exposure of the state of their hearts to them, Allah once again opens the door of hope and possibility, which lies only in obedience to Rasool-hu, His Messenger (peace be upon him).
وَإِن تُطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ لَا يَلِتْكُم مِّنْ أَعْمَالِكُمْ شَيْئًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيم
But if you pay heed to God and His Apostle (peace be upon him),
He will not let the least of your deeds go to waste. For Allah is Much Forgiving,
Surah Al-Hujuraat, Verse 14
Subhan Allah!
Uzair; “But it is the deed which creates the state of a heart. The heart relies on the deed for its haal, its kaifiyat. When the Quran talks about tawakkul (reliance on God), shukr (gratitude), sabr (patience), inkisar (humility), tawazu’ (submission), ehsan (favour), muhabbat (love), ikhlas (sincerity), these are all kaifiyaat. They are states and the Quran gives them equal weight to imaan and amal, faith and deed.
Often what the scholar and jurisprudist avoids is ehsaan. Only the Sufis, the Fuqura, address this topic. And it is not the ehsan of Urdu. It is from the root hasana, to beautify something.
On this note, the verse where Allah summarizes the entire moral philosophy of a human being, how to personify beauty in one’s existence using the word ‘ehsaan,’ is this;
وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّهَ
وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْيَتَامَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينِ
وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتُوا الزَّكَاةَ
ثُمَّ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ إِلَّا قَلِيلًا مِّنكُمْ وَأَنتُم مُّعْرِضُونَ
And We accepted this solemn pledge from (you), the children of Israel, "You shall worship none but God `and you shall do good unto your parents and kinsfolk and the orphans and the poor. And you shall speak with all people in a kindly way and you shall be constant in prayer and you shall spend in charity. And yet, save for a few of you, you turned away, for you are obstinate folk!”
Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 83
I smiled. The verse was a favourite of mine. I had learnt many a new dimension of behaviour from it the first time I had read it with my teacher in Fes. Then he was making a different point than Uzair. He was teaching me about the order of significance in the Quran.
Begin excerpt “The Softest Heart”
“In the longer verses of the Quran,” he had said, “Where there are many commands being given, the order of what is being revealed is also the ranking of its importance before Allah.”
He then gave me the following example:
وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّهَ
وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْيَتَامَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينِ
وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتُوا الزَّكَاةَ
ثُمَّ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ إِلَّا قَلِيلًا مِّنكُمْ وَأَنتُم مُّعْرِضُونَ
And We accepted this solemn pledge from (you), the children of Israel, "You shall worship none but God and you shall do good unto your parents and kinsfolk and the orphans and the poor. And you shall speak with all people in a kindly way and you shall be constant in prayer and you shall spend in charity. And yet, save for a few of you, you turned away, for you are obstinate folk!
When I had studied the verse, it was all about people, other human beings, the known and the strangers; parents, relatives, orphans, the poor. Then it was about manners again, speaking kindly to them. Seventh on the list was prayer. Eighth was zaka’t. Worship dutied was trumped by behavior, by regard, by adab. This is when I realized that my quest to please God would never be fulfilled by my meager worship, distracted at best.
It was through this ayat that I had realized something else extraordinary. That Allah Al-Wajid, The Pointing One, ranks sadqa (alms given voluntarily) way above zaka’t, that which is obligatory. For most people don’t give their time to the orphans and the poor. They give them money. When I first pointed this out to Qari Sahib, he was taken aback.
“But look Sir,” I said, pointing at the sequence of the verse written out on a board. “It has to be higher because zaka’t is last on the list.”
I had spent that whole day thinking about why it was so till it came to me. Sadqa was voluntary and an act of one’s volition was an act of love. It was chosen. Unlike zaka’t it was not compulsory. One had to be mindful to consider it. Or be fortunate and just imitate the behaviour of the Friends of God who practiced it continually.
End excerpt “The Softest Heart”
Uzair; …The verse summarizes the entire moral philosophy of a human being. Then for the ‘don’ts’ Allah says when you do these things, all eight of them, don’t become prideful and don’t be arrogant.
لِّكَيْلَا تَأْسَوْا عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلَا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا آتَاكُمْ
وَاللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُور
So that you may not grieve over what has escaped you,
and do not exult at what He has given you. And Allah does not like the vain and the arrogant.
Surah Al-Hadid, Verse 23
Then in another place where He uses the word ehsaan:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ
وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُون
Indeed, Allah orders justice and goodness, and giving to the relatives,
and forbids all that is shameful, that runs counter to reason and oppression.
He warns you so that you may take heed.
Surah An-Nahl, Verse 90
So ehsaan becomes an amr, an Order, a Command.
What is the layering of ehsan? How does one beautify one’s relationship with others, become a source of goodness for them? This is where Tasawuff comes in for it is about what is happening inside one’s heart. Hence the Sufi becomes the one who speaks to the state of your inner being, your batin. Just like the one who speaks to the overt state is the Alim, the scholar. The one who speaks to the aqaid, beliefs, is the Mutakallam.
So when the Faqih says ‘Pray five times.’ The Sufi then says, ‘Praying is not enough. Bring yourself into the state of feeling the Presence of God, the consciousness of a living God.’
The Faqih will say, “Face the Ka’ba.’ The Sufi will then say, “Make your heart face it as well, not just your countenance.’
The Faqih will say, ‘Without ablution there is no prayer.’ The Sufi will say, ‘There is also no prayer without your heart being attentive.’
The Alim will say, ‘Fast.’ The Sufi will say, ‘Deprive your nafs of its desires, its hate and discord. Starving your stomach will do nothing.’
The Alim will say, ‘Give zakat.’ The Sufi will say, ‘Give the alms of your heart.’ What is that? Forgive someone. Stop hating someone. Be kind to someone.
The area of expertise of each person in service to the faith is entirely different. Tasawuff is amal, deed. It is not an intellectual exercise. It is an attitude that is practical. My being, my essence, in every interaction should exude khair, haq, husn, goodness, truth, beauty. It is not theory. It is being muhasib, accountable and muraqib, watchful on your inner states. The root of imaan is tasawuff. Not one terminology of it is outside the Quran or the hadith.
Then he gave an example.
“What are the main departments of Tasawuff; rija (hope), khauf (fear), taqwa (God-consciousness through restraint and not transgressing boundaries), muhabbat (love), ikhlas (sincerity). Where are the Sufis getting all of it from? Take Muraqaba for instance, what is Muraqaba?
الَّذِينَ يَذْكُرُونَ اللَّهَ قِيَامًا وَقُعُودًا وَعَلَىٰ جُنُوبِهِمْ وَيَتَفَكَّرُونَ فِي خَلْقِ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ
رَبَّنَا مَا خَلَقْتَ هَٰذَا بَاطِلًا سُبْحَانَكَ فَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّار
Those who remember Allah standing, and sitting and on their sides and they reflect on (the) creation (of) the heavens and the earth, "Our Lord, not You have created this (in) vain. Glory be to You, so save us (from the) punishment (of) the Fire.
Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 191
This is the beginning of a Muraqaba. That at no point is my essence outside the Presence of God.”
Muraqaba is the practice of meditation in Tasawuff. I know for a fact it is a daily practice prescribed for those disciples in the Naqshbandi silsila. And it’s not five minutes although perhaps whatever is possible is accepted. They do a silent meditation. I have sat in one them a couple of times in my life. The first effect of it for a newbie is the drowsiness that one becomes enveloped in fairly quickly. As the practice continues, the states change and become elevated but I don’t know what they are. I imagine it’s a visual experience of unveiling.
Uzair then gave the definition of Tasawuff by a number of Sufi giants.
“Let me take you through the definition of Tasawuff by those who are the reflection of its practice;
Hazrat Junaid Baghdadi was asked. “How is the path of Tasawuff traveled?” He replied, “Only the one who holds the Quran in the right hand and the Sunnat e Rasool (saw) in the left will travel this path. Without even one of these guiding lights the path will close upon you.”
Hazrat Abdullah Hirwai (ra); Not letting your nafs go against that which is the truth, that which is right, that is Tasawuff.
Hazrat Abul Hasan Noori (ra);
لیس التصوف رسوما ولا علوما ولکنه اخلاق۔
Tasawuff is not custom or tradition and it is not knowledge but it is morals and behaviour.
In Kashf ul Mahjoob, Daata Sahib (ra) gives a explanation of the verse;
" تصوف رسوم و علم نہیں ہے لیکن یہ ایک خاص خصلت ہے۔"
یعنی اگر تصوف رسمی چیز ہوتی تو مجاہدہ و ریاضت سے حاصل ہوجاتا اور اگر علم ہوتا تو محض تعلیم سے حاصل ہو جاتا، تو ثابت ہوا کہ تصوف ایک خصلتِ خاص کا نام ہے اور جب تک یہ خود اپنے اندر نہ پیدا کرے اس وقت تک وہ حاصل نہیں ہوتا۔
“If Tasawuff was a tradition, then it could have been attained through practice and struggle. If it were knowledge, then it could have been achieved through education. Hence it is proven that it is a special nature, a specific state. Until it comes from one’s own striving (as has been ordered and is required), till that time it cannot be reached.
I asked Qari Sahib what the first line meant. I thought in Islam everything could be attained through practice and struggle.
“Sometimes people isolate themselves or do things that Allah has not asked them to do. It is not part of the Islamic practice and methodology. That which is not prescribed will not yield results. In any case, there is no proof without another human being to see if anything sticks, takes effect. Abul Hasan Noori (ra) is saying that Tasawuff cannot come from that route of self-isolation. It has to come from obedience of God and being in the service of humanity.”
When I used to be in Fes for months at time, reading and learning new ideas, imbibing them with the truest of intentions, I thought everything had seeped into my nature and transformed me. I felt good all the time, light and happy. I was also by myself. I studied Arabic and delved into ahadith. I read New Yorkers and listened to music. I walked around in the undulating alleys of the Medina at all times of the day taking photos and eating delicious foods. There weren’t even any cars. It was like living in another century. I met no one except my teachers. I hardly spoke.
Then I would come to Lahore and within a day of being there I would realize that I hadn’t quite absorbed everything the way I had imagined. The only way to tell if there was change was in my reaction to others. When it didn’t appear the way I had read it and thought also absorbed it, the disappointment was crushing. If and when that reaction did change, it wasn’t even my doing. The desire for it was the only thing my own.
Something happened recently that helped me understand exactly what was making the difference in all my spiritual quests. The answer lay in exactly two words;
Ghaus Pak (ra).
His birthday is on the first of Ramadan. I was working on a video for it. Finding the right kalam was integral. I had asked Qari Sahib to suggest some options. Composing it would be Ustad’s department mostly. I was working on this piece, the narration and the verse of the Quran in the beginning. I had to translate Arabic and Farsi into both Urdu and English. That was work enough. I had decided to make the video different from all my other ones.
First, I was going to translate the tafseer of the verse from the Tasfeer e Jilani, not use the translation. I was also not picking a story from Ghaus Pak’s (ra) life. I had been reading passages from Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani in Karachi that had stirred, not stirred, literally shifted something inside me. I wanted to use those lines, share them with everyone.
Working on anything related to Ghaus Pak (ra) makes me nervous. I didn’t want to make any mistake. It wasn’t fear of consequence. My heart is in the right place, so to speak. It is that if I disappoint him, I feel like I will cry forever. I even did an istakhara for the kalam. I had randomly chosen it so I was worried it was not the right one. And I rarely do an istakhara (asking the Quran for the answer when making a decision).
Once you do it, you have to abide by the answer. In the past, I have chosen not to and suffered.
When Qari Sahib read the verse he looked at me seriously.
“What was your question?”
“I was asking if the kalam was the correct one for the video sir,” I said meekly. I knew what was coming. The verse had words in it like azabun shadeed, severe punishment.
He shook his head firmly from side to side. “The answer is ‘No.’ Find something else.”
That’s when I just passed the baton to him. Clearly my nafs was in a whole other state of its own madness. I focused on the first excerpt from his sermon instead, reading the darood shareef in the beginning with inordinate focus.
Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani: Hazrat Ghaus Pak (ra) says; “The sirr, which is more sublime than the soul, is the place of witnessing Allah’s Appearance, is the king.
The qalb, the seat of recognition of Allah in the heart, is its advisor.
The nafs, the self, the tongue and all the other parts (of the body), they stand in service before them.
The sirr draws from the Ocean of Godliness.
The qalb derives from the sirr.
The nafs e mutmainna, the contented self, takes its strength from the qalb.
The tongue gets its persuasion from the nafs, the ego, while the rest of the parts are subservient to the tongue.
If the tongue is respectful, the qalb becomes pious and when the tongue is misbehaving, the qalb becomes ruined.
Your tongue needs be harnessed by being conscious of Allah and repentant for meaningless speech and hypocrisy.
Thus, once it becomes steadfast on this state, the speech of the tongue will merge into the cleansing of the qalb.
When the qalb attains this level, it becomes lit
and nur, light, radiates from it towards the tongue and the rest of the body.
End of Translation!
I could easily write a short piece of each of the lines. The thought made me smile. Like Uzair does a tafseer of a word from the Quran for an hour. Except this would not be imparting knowledge; facts, history, structure, theology and everything else his lectures encompass. It would be a personal history piece. 10 of them! This is how the first one would start;
Laziness is the king.
Justification is its advisor.
The backdrop as to why the lines shifted a gear for me was that while in Karachi, a friend of mine sent me a text. In it she said something which was, at the time I thought, of extreme importance to me, very casually. Then she never mentioned it again. For a couple of hours I thought about it but I was busy, distracted. I was on a holiday.
When I returned to Lahore, as soon as we met, I started waiting for her to bring up the text she had written. Ask me how it made me feel or what I wanted her to do about it. She never did. All the while that I waited, Iblis stood next to her, (or was it me?), and paranoia and doubts entered my heart the entire time. I thought she was a whole range of evil; insensitive, selfish, indifferent, jealous, miserly. The list went on and on in my head.
But in those days I was also working on the piece, translating it for my video, and the part about the tongue was echoing in my head.
“The tongue gets its persuasion from the nafs, the ego.”
Then the line about the other parts of the body taking their cue from the tongue was taking up the remainder of my attention;
“The rest of the parts are subservient to the tongue.”
I didn’t even know what that meant then. I had to ask Qari Sahib about it. He told me a story;
‘Hazrat Luqman (as) was asked by his father to bring a piece of meat from the market.
“Bring a good piece of meat,” he directed him.
Hazrat Luqman (as) brought back tongue.
Then his father asked him to bring a bad piece of meat.
Hazrat Luqman (as) again brought tongue.
His father inquired, “What is the wisdom behind this?”
He answered, “If one’s speech is good, there is no part better than the tongue in the body. And if one’s speech is poor, there is no part worse than it.”’
“The rest of the parts are subservient to the tongue.”
For the first time in my life, I bit my tongue day after day. Iblis came at me from my left and my right and front and back, just as he himself promises to in the Quran;
ثُمَّ لَآتِيَنَّهُم مِّن بَيْنِ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ وَعَنْ أَيْمَانِهِمْ وَعَن شَمَائِلِهِمْ
وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكْثَرَهُمْ شَاكِرِين
Then surely, I (Iblis) will come to them from their front and from behind them and from their right and from their left,
and You will find most of them are ungrateful."
Surah Al-Ahraf, Verse 17
But in all honesty it wasn’t even him. It was my nafs yelling, “Are you crazy? You have to ask her!” I made the words of Ghaus Pak (ra) my shield to ward them both off. I had decided, I would not bring up the subject no matter what. For two weeks, the ordeal continued. I never stopped seeing her. I didn’t alter my behaviour with her in the least. Then I saw my striving’s effect unveil before me.
Nature, khaslat, how does it change? An example landed in my lap as a windfall. To write this piece I had decided to make a trip to my village. On the way there we had to get a lot of directions. The roads was being repaired so an alternate route had to be found. I had given my driver Pathani’s husband’s number. His name is Nasir. He was directing us. My driver was new. Otherwise my staff is old as in they’ve been with my family for decades. The house runs like clockwork. I don’t interfere in anything so I had not needed to train anyone in a while.
The driver was young. He was also from the area around my village but didn’t know it in terms of driving directions. I could overhear both sides of the conversation between him and Nasir as they spoke every 15 minutes. I sensed the frustration in Nasir’s voice as my driver gave unclear answers as to where we were and how far from where we had to meet him but it was mild.
I waited to see in which one of those calls he would lose it. When his voice would be angry or at least irritated and if none of those, just become raised. It never happened. I knew why too. Nasir is gentle. He has a thousand other faults but his speech is soft and he speaks to others kindly.
# 6 of 8: “And you shall speak with all people in a kindly way.”
It gave me a new appreciation of someone for whom the word most often people use is “loser.” Mostly I saw how much better he was than me. Which Babu ji (ra) always says to remind oneself that everybody is. I just keep forgetting.
In complete contrast to him, on the way out of the city, in asking my driver about certain tasks I had assigned to him, receiving answers that were the opposite of what I was expecting, basically nothing done, I had not only raised my voice, I was irritated and angry. On top of that I thought my manner was justified.
Living in the States, working there for the first time in my life after undergrad, I had learnt a certain work ethic, a professionalism that seems absent in Pakistan for the most part. At least in my experience. I find myself in a constant mode of transmitting that standard to others who are in a perpetual mode of repelling it. It is a lost battle but like a fool, I still wage it. Then on top of that I’m self-righteous about my unwanted effort.
In the car that day, for the first time in my life, I physically felt the consequences of my tongue. On my other parts. I felt tired even though I had left my house feeling fresh as a daisy. I was in a rotten mood which was the opposite of where I needed to be to write. The drive was a gorgeous one and I usually used it to write because I was alone. I would sit with my feet stretched on the back seat so that each time I lifted my eyes from my laptop, I would see fields of gorgeous greens. It was a high upon a high.
Thanks to my manner of berating him for his lack of efficiency and inability to execute simple instructions, I felt this unpleasantness looming upon me. I tried to make myself feel better by justifying my behaviour. Not in my head but in another speech to him. I gave him some long spiel about how I was trying to train him and unless he received feedback he would not improve, blah blah blah. He too was like Nasir, gentle, so he just kept nodding his head and saying “Yes.”
After that lame attempt to expunge my feelings, I did what Hazrat Bibi Fatima (ratu) taught me. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, holding my hands together as if about to utter a plea and asked for forgiveness of my Lord. But the calm only entered my heart when I asked Nabi Pak (peace be upon him) to pray for me. “For only when you pray for me, does Allah accept my repentance and forgives me my sins.”
وَاسْتَغْفَرَ لَهُمُ الرَّسُولُ لَوَجَدُوا اللَّهَ تَوَّابًا رَّحِيمًا
and if the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) asked Allah for forgiveness for them,
they will certainly find Allah as the Acceptor Of Repentance, the Most Merciful.
I wonder sometimes if the line, in my experience of using it umpteen times a day sometimes, works the magic because it is a promise of Allah’s in the Quran that when he prays for one, the forgiveness is granted, literally immediately. Or is it the tears that usually accompany the address to my Prophet (peace be upon him). The frequency with which I utter it always makes me feel ashamed. My inability to change makes me sad and I always wonder if he thinks what I thought; would I ever become different?
Qari Sahib had recently taught us a prayer in our Quran class which I had just started.
“Ask of Allah that which his Rasool (saw) asked of him. And ask of Allah to be saved, seek refuge, from that which he sought refuge from. The specifics don’t matter. Invoking his ask is enough.” The other thing he had mentioned that day was to use the word “Afia” as the best ask. It encompassed all goodness.
Within days of the practice of silence with my friend, my heart changed. I felt a softness for her which was outside the realm of possibility in this scenario. I knew that to be a certainty because it wasn’t the first time I wanted something simple from her which she would not be able to deliver. Usually I would just wait, then become dejected and disappointed and finally distant.
But this time I exercised patience exactly the way Ghaus Pak (ra) says it must be exercised;
معنی الصبر انک لا تشکو الی احد،
و لا تتعلق بسبب،
و لا تکرہ وجود البلیۃ،
ولا تحب زوالھا
“The meaning of sabr, patience, is that you do not complain before anyone about it, and you do not think the trial has come from what appears to be the source of the trial (because it comes from God), and do not think of the trial as burdensome, and do not wish it to go away.”
I even stopped wanting what I thought I wanted. That was remarkable. That was part of the reward of my effort. It was a desire of my nafs so my nafs was trying to persuade my tongue. After what Ghaus Pak (ra) had said I really appreciated that the most and felt grateful. I even appreciated my friend’s forgetfulness which was all it was. She was always deeply caught up in her own life.
کہ تصوف ایک خصلتِ خاص کا نام ہے
اور جب تک یہ خود اپنے اندر نہ پیدا کرے اس وقت تک وہ حاصل نہیں ہوتا۔
“Hence it is proven that Taswuff, spirituality, is a special nature, a specific state. Until it comes from one’s own striving (as has been ordered and is required), till that time it cannot be reached.”
Hazrat Ali (ratu) says that when you make a decision, see the destination first then chose the path. The motivation to control the tongue lies in seeing the consequences of its lashing. Which in my case are always guilt and regret. These days. In early times, there was no aftermath for me. I just forgot about it. Once the effect of the action is seen in the future, then the impulse can be controlled. Not an easy task for a human being whose nature has haste woven in it.
وَكَانَ الْإِنسَانُ عَجُولً
And Man is prone to be hasty.
Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 17
The problem becomes compounded when the power dynamic favours one. Then there is little impetus to exercise that control. Case in point; it was easier for me to exercise restraint with my friend where there was little imbalance of power. It was hard as hell with my driver. Another reminder why Hazrat Sahil Tustari (ra) says that power has to be relinquished, weakness chosen. From a position of weakness comes gentleness or humility, and the jewel that accompanies them, silence, comes naturally.
Hazrat Anas Bin Malik (ratu) served Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) for 10 years. When I asked Qari Sahib what word he used to describe that experience for this piece, he said, “Read the whole tashreeh, explanation Hazrat Anas (ratu) gives. After I read the hadith my first instinct was to say I didn’t need any more but he insisted. Thank heavens for teachers!
حَدَّثَنَا أَنَسٌ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ ، قَالَ :
خَدَمْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَشْرَ سِنِينَ ، فَمَا قَالَ لِي أُفٍّ وَلَا لِمَ صَنَعْتَ وَلَا أَلَّا صَنَعْتَ .
“I was in the service of the Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) for 10 years. Not once did he say to me “Ufff,” (the sound of irritation and frustration with someone), nor did he say, “Why did you do that?” nor “Why didn’t you do that?”
Basically the exact opposite of what I do! The tashreeh was even more potent.
Hazrat Anas Bin Malik (ra): “I was young and I was immature. I used to do things incorrectly and sometimes I would cause damage by breaking something etc. Never did the one who was mercy personified from head to foot use an accusing tone with me and say, “Why did you not do something or why did you do that?”
I should have felt deep shame but I felt extreme delight. Like my heart soared. The words changed my approach to reprimand forever. At least in my head. I could foresee my prayers of repentance and forgiveness multiplying a thousand fold on the horizon but I felt happy. The challenge was to teach without blame and accusation. They cause fear and need. I have written about that endlessly. I was very good at applying it with friends and family but not subordinates when they erred. The level of difficulty of the challenge was sky high. But the fruit was also nur radiating from my qalb.
I seek and occasionally gain wisdom but only through imitation. Confucius taught me that it is the easiest way to acquire it. The hadith made likelihood of change a pleasant possibility in my own behaviour, a tug between me and my ego instead of a struggle with someone else. The former was so much easier. If I won I won and if I lost, I only hurt myself. That itself would make the impetus for change accelerate to warp speed.
I spent 5 days in the village. Every day before Maghrib I went for a walk in the fields. Roaming around my mother’s ancestral home accompanied by Pathani, I realized how some daughters of feudals must have felt like princesses. I heard after she died that my mother was like one. Not in the way the term is used colloquially for the daughter of every rich person in the city every time she wears a pink dress.
The children take a heavy dose of their cues of the do’s and don’ts from the staff who work for their families for generations. That creates an intense bond of love and respect. In my 20’s when my brother and I were the only ones who lived alone, our friends would come to our house to do the crazy stuff. I was constantly hiding it from Pathani. They never understood why I needed to do that with someone who was on my payroll.
The woman who came to see me every time in the village, Ghulam Bibi, is in her late 60s although she looks older. She is deaf and has a beautiful singing voice. I have only known her a few years but she loves me so deeply, it surprised me. From a distance she croons whenever she sees me, her hand raised to the heavens as if thanking God I appeared, as if just for her; “Tenu takdi na rajaan…” “I can’t get enough of looking at you.” The intensity of her lyrics always makes me laugh and I have to immediately note them down.
My mother’s best friend growing up was a village kid, Talo. It was way before she had one in the city. “She is wise,” she would always say, the ultimate compliment amongst folk from a rural background. I guess that spoke volumes. Not rich or beautiful or powerful or even self-made, the ultimate compliment in an urban environment that I have found to arouse the most regard. It always evoked mine. It was how one gave leeway to the one who went from rags to riches and then lost their mind.
The word echoes in my readings of the Quran and in the malfuzaat of the Auliya, hikmat. In the tafseer of Surah Luqman, I had read; “Allah granted his Prophet Luqman (as) wisdom for a singular purpose: So that he could be the vessel that receives his Kindness (lutf) and Generosity (karam), His Bounty (faiz) and becomes of the Grateful, the Shakireen.”
The connection was direct. Wisdom was granted so that one could become grateful. The process between the two was an exquisite imbibing of Divine Kindness, Generosity and Bounty. And wisdom came only through interaction and the bettering of that interaction with human beings, the practice of Tasawuff. At least 90% of it, as said Maula e Kayinaat, Hazrat Ali (ratu).
In her last trip to Lahore knowing she would soon die, my mother asked Talo to come to see her and stay with her the whole while she was there. Two months. They spent the hours after Fajr together every day. I think she saw her more than I did. My mother was 53 then, three years older than I am now. I befriended death the day she died. It’s not unusual. Witnessing a death of someone significant early in life makes one unafraid of it. Of everything really. Less to lose remains. The transience of all things becomes undeniable.
Death! The word draws fascinating reactions from people mostly because of their wonderings related to what happens to them after. Some people talk about Heaven like it’s a club they want to gain admission to and they’re not hip enough. They just want to somehow sneak in past the velvet rope and melt into the crowd. Like crashing a party and never meeting the host. I have my own fantasy.
First, I meet all the Friends of God I am attached to. Then the Prophets I have come to know. I want to hear them, their sound, their voices, their words, intonation, style, tonality. I learnt that last word from a musician friend of mine. “I like the tonality of your voice,” she would say and I never knew what she meant. When I write it like this I see the familiarity for my dying wish with the Mairaj, the Night of Ascension and I smile at how unoriginal I am.
Everything can be converted to love. If I had to choose one sentence that is the essence of my learning, it would be that. I learnt recently in my Quran class from Dannoo that it is also possible in worship; a prayer could become a Namaz e Ishq, a prayer of love, if one read the Surah Ikhlas 10 times, instead of once. It was divine moment the first time I brought that into practice. I was already claiming love in my prayer of nafal for someone most special to God. Suddenly there was the opportunity to guarantee its reality.
Shab e Baraat was approaching and Qari Sahib w
as giving us instruction for our worship for the night which determines all the happenings of the next year. I discovered then that Allah likes length in qayam, the standing position in the namaz. Hence there are different kinds of nawafil, the voluntary prayers, that are entirely about creating that duration; the salat tasbeeh, then the prayer of Imam Ali (ratu) where he read the Surah Ikhlas a 100 times in each ruku’. There is even the prayer where one reads a certain darood a 1,000 times in each ruku’. That likely requires standing for hours.
Length in prayer is the sign for love for Allah. It made sense. Who ever got enough of time spent with the beloved. I claim a lot of love for God but my worship of long qayam is less frequent than it should be.
Laziness is the king.
Justification is its advisor.
I meant to ask Qari Sahib, when one’s utterance of the namaz becomes silent, is the seat of utterance still the tongue or does it change? Then I realized it doesn’t matter.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدً
O ye who attained to faith, Remain conscious of God and speak what is right.
Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse 70
I looked up the verse wanting Ghaus Pak’s (ra) meaning for sadeedan translated as “right.” But of course, he unveiled a lot more.
Tafseer e Jilani: “O ye who believe in Allah and His Rasool (peace be upon him)! Be fearful of Allah who is Al-Muntaqim, The Avenging One and do not bring any kind of pain or suffering upon His Prophet (peace be upon him), either physically or spiritually.”
That was the tafseer of taqwa, one of the most important words in the Quran. Almost always translated as either “piety” or “fear.” But what it means is being conscious/mindful of God. In the verse, Allah was saying that being conscious of Him was in fact being mindful of His Beloved (peace be upon him).
“And be careful about how you speak about his majesty and honour. Let your words be sadeeda; saheeh, accurate in the selection of your words, saalim, not lacking in regard, baeed, as far away as possible from causing him distress, blaming him or accusing him.”
Subhan Allah! The whole verse was about the Prophet (peace be upon him). I extrapolated from that for everyone else as well; Choose your words carefully, make sure they are respectful and avoid causing pain, avoid blame and accusation.
When I control my tongue, my tank of energy remains ‘full.’ I am like the sun. The state of another doesn’t affect me. They can take whatever they want from me without making me feel depleted. What wears me down is my own speech when unkind, disrespectful, harsh, judgmental. Tiring the other parts of my body including my brain.
“If the tongue is respectful, the qalb becomes conscious of God and when the tongue is misbehaving, the qalb becomes ruined.
Your tongue should be harnessed by God-consciousness and repentance from meaningless speech, negativity and hypocrisy.”
Maulana (ra) sheds light on the idea going into it deeper; the damage thoughts can create even when the tongue is silent.
روی نفس مطمئنه در جسد
زخم ناخنهای فکرت میکشد
Like nails, evil thoughts scratch the face of the Naf e Mutmainna.
فکرت بد ناخن پر زهر دان
میخراشد در تعمق روی جان
Know that your wicked thoughts are as if dipped in poison,
Delving into them deeper only damages the face of the soul more.
When I blame the ones who cause me to speak like that I’m mistaken. I cause it because I have a choice. I can be silent. Ultimately they don’t even notice me that much. They are at least steady in their haal (state) whatever it is. I could attempt to be steady on mine.
“Thus once it becomes steadfast on this, the just and true speech of the tongue will lead to the goodness of the qalb.
When the qalb attains this level, it becomes lit and nur radiates from it towards the tongue and the rest of the body.”
Ghaus Pak (ra) closes each and every one of his sermons with one prayer. It was a prayer I found on my first Umra on the ground but I did not know this about him then.
Begin excerpt “The Softest Heart”
By the time I reached the Ka’ba the rain had stopped and the sun was warm again. While I was circumambulating slowly, I saw a very small piece of paper on the ground. I picked it up and in someone’s handwriting was the following ayat:
وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً
وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ
But among them are they who say, "Our Lord! Give us in this world (that which is) good and in the Hereafter (that which is) good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire."
Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 201
I picked up the paper, kissed it, placed it lightly on my eyes, kissed it again and read it again and again as I kept walking. It is a verse I had heard many times, one that many people recite daily as a tasbeeh. Immediately my mind went to the story of Hazrat Bishr Haafi (ra).
Hazrat Bishr Haafi (ra) spent most of his life drinking alcohol and roaming the streets in a state of intoxication. One day he came upon a piece of paper which had the words Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim written on it, lying on the road. Although inebriated, he picked up the paper, kissed it, put some itar (perfume) on it and placed it on a high spot. That night he heard the voice of Allah Al-Afuww, The Supreme Pardoner, asking him if he was not tired of being so distant from Him. And just like that he became a wali (saint). His title was Haafi because he always walked barefoot. While he was alive, no animal defecated in the streets where he walked out of respect for him.
I still have that piece of paper in one of my books that I read from every day. It was quite the keepsake. One day while I was sitting with Qari Sahib going over some references for this book, I told him I had found it. His eyes widened.
“You didn’t tell me about this before,” he said.
“I forgot, Sir.”
“So do you read the prayer?” he asked.
“No,” I replied. “I keep it in a special book after I kissed it and put scent on it.”
“And what did you think?” he smiled. “You were going to get wilayat (that which forms qurb, closeness with God) overnight?”
I grinned back.
“You were given a pearl as a gift in the House of God and you put it in a book?” Qari Sahib said. “Wear it!”
And thus I started saying the prayer.
End excerpt “The Softest Heart”
The same prayer that Ghaus Pak (ra) ends each of his sermons with! Luck appears in all forms. Connections are made in all kinds of way. No one is alone. There are as many wings of hope as the seeker desires. The Friends of God are countless. It’s just that there are those who say or perhaps just think of the life here;
فَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا
For there are people who (merely) pray, "Our Lord! Grant us in the world."
But then apparently they have no share in the Hereafter. I guess because they never consider it.
وَمَا لَهُ فِي الْآخِرَةِ مِنْ خَلَاق
They will have no share in the Afterlife.
Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 83
Ghaus Pak (ra) gives the tafseer of his favourite verse in a way where the focus is always singular; pleasing Allah!
وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً
وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ
Amongst them are the ones who have union in his overt and inner being, (zahir and batin)
and who keep this world and the Afterlife together,
who say, “O our Lord, Grant us goodness which makes you pleased with us in this life
and grant us goodness in the Hereafter, which connects us with Your One-ness (Tauheed),
and by Your Favour and Mercy upon us,
save us from the possibilities that cause paranoia and doubt.
Tafseer e Jilani
Paranoia and doubt are always the translation of “fire” and “Hell” in the Quran by those in the know. Their utmost concern is how a life can be made peaceful here in the world. Not exist with the soul set aflame, awaiting some paradise long after death.
In my video for the Urs of Ghaus Pak (ra) a few months ago I had chosen the verse;
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَكُونُوا۟ مَعَ ٱلصَّـٰدِقِينَ
O ye who believed!
Be conscious of God and be with those who are truthful.
Surah At-Tauba, Verse 119
Uzair gave a lecture on it recently; “The verse is giving the essentials in a clear manner. The first two states are together; if you are of the right belief and possess imaan, make your deeds good, acquire taqwa by being conscious of God, practicing restraint. Then comes the third Command; be with the truthful.
So what the Quran is saying is that even if your beliefs are absolutely perfect and your deeds are absolutely perfect, you still need the truthful. Those who believe, we only need the Quran, or even those who say, we only need the hadith, Allah is countering that. You also need the truthful. You will always need the truthful. When you look for them, the blessings of God will come upon you. Not otherwise!”
In understanding a single organ of my body, the tongue, I gained a new perspective of what I have perceived as “negative and toxic,” words thrown around constantly to identify those who are really just sad. Undeniably they are all of those things as well but then so am I as I travel the arc from furiously hot to serenely warm.
Everything is a choice. These days I especially regret mine from my past when I left when I should have loved. For even the humiliation was enwrapped in love because love preceded it. Whether it was from my side or the other. It had already blunted the blow. There remains a memory connected to that feeling of joy which exists for me even today with everyone I felt it for. Perhaps for some nostalgia reigns!
But I guess things have to come in their own time. Then I was a slave to the desires of my ego which flew into a rage every five minutes. The desires have lessened. The ego is weak. I remain a slave to it but an unwillingly one. Moreover, in my regrets I have tasted the lazzat, the fruits, of the acceptance of repentance. That has been my impetus to change more.
Maulana Rum (ra): “You don’t refrain from wrongfulness because you haven’t tasted the fruits of the acceptance of repentance.”
Qari Sahib: “What are the fruits of repentance?”
I knew what they were for me; the peace and calm I felt when I did know my repentance was accepted which was only when my Rau’f and Rahim Prophet (peace be upon him) prayed for me.
Qari Sahib quoted the following verse;
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا تُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ تَوْبَةً نَّصُوحًا عَسَىٰ رَبُّكُمْ أَن يُكَفِّرَ عَنكُمْ سَيِّئَاتِكُمْ
وَيُدْخِلَكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ
O you who attained to faith! Turn to Allah in repentance sincere!
Perhaps your Lord will erase from you your wrongful deeds
and admit you into Gardens flow from underneath it the rivers, on The Day.
Surah At-Tahrim, Verse 8
Perhaps!
My haal, my kaifiyat, the state of my inner being, my batin, the serenity of my mind, really only comes from one source; “the truthful.” The ones who never turn away, abandon or forget me. Ghaus Pak (ra) is their king. As Sultan ul Hind, Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti Ajmeri (ra) writes in his honour;
در بزم نبی عالی شانی، ستار عیوب مریدانی
در ملک ولایت سلطانی اے منبع فضل و جود و سخا
Amongst the company of the Prophet (saw) you hold an exalted rank,
O one who hides, of his disciples, their flaws!
In the world of nearness to God, you are the king,
O source of favour, bounty and generosity!
In celebrating my connection to him, I don’t have much to offer. So to express my gratitude for the single greatest boon of my life simply in a few words, all of them borrowed, I have waited for the 1st of Ramadan with bated breath to smilingly say; “Happy Birthday Ya Ghaus e Muzzam!”
Ghaus Pak in Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani (ra): “O you who increased in years and aged but in your nature remain like a child, how long will you run after this wicked world because of your immaturity?
You have made it your destiny and the be-all and end-all of your existence. It is this same striving which will not let you have any peace in your life.
Do you not know that you become the servant of that which you have surrendered to?
If you have given your charge to the world then you are its servant.
And if the charge it given to the Afterlife, then you are its servant.
If you surrender yourself to Allah, then you are His Servant.
If you let your ego control you, then you are its servant.
And if you give yourself up to your desires, then you are their servant.
And if you have put yourself in the hands of any other creation, then you are its servant.
So be mindful of who you have given your charge to.
Most of you are those who desire the world and few are they who want the Afterlife.
Extremely rare are the ones who are only seekers of Allah, the One who created both the world and the Afterlife.
So be in the company of these people with the best of manners. Don’t disagree with them, don’t dispute them or you will bring harm upon yourself. And don’t disrespect them or you will become destroyed.
Being silent about that which you don’t know is knowledge and surrendering yourself to that which you don’t know is Islam.
The Building of Love
You will remember Me if you try out someone other than Me,
And you will realize I was for you a treasure.
This June feeling corona-ed out I decided to visit a friend in Islamabad. A break was overdue. The summer had finally arrived in Lahore, much later than usual thankfully but I was tired of the city. In Islamabad I found that the heat did not allow for outdoor activities until sunset either but a change is a change.
My friend lived in a basement so it was cool. The house was inset from the boundary walls so there was lovely light all day long. After a few days I decided to head up north where another friend of mine has a beautiful little cottage. If the virus was going to teach the elite who had a brain cell or two a lesson it was this; build your holiday homes in your own country where the most exquisite natural beauty exists.
I was alone. I had been harping on about people’s inability to break the patterns of their lives in various conversations, thus bringing upon myself the test that would prove that I was exactly the same as them. I didn’t realize till it started that it was an exercise for my nafs, my ego, to correct itself. But I was luckier than most. My teachers were God’s Chosen who I considered my spiritual masters from the world of the unseen. I was not alone.
The whole thing had begun with an incident. Someone dear to me fell in a ditch so to speak and it wasn’t the first time but the ditch this time was a ravine. I had programmed myself to react to the incident in a particular way in the past. The behaviour was therefore ingrained in me and my reaction rolled out in several steps, all the same, in a particular sequence.
First I felt anxious and scared for them. Then I started thinking about what I could do to help that would make the situation better. I have always prided myself in problem-solving, only to realize that I’m terrible at it. Or rather it works for matters that don’t involve a human being and therefore a heart, the state of which I know absolutely nothing about. Half the time I don’t know the state of my own heart, I don’t know why I presumed I knew what’s inside another’s?
Step three would be to start looking for people who could assist in the situation. There are two people in particular in my life I have gone to in the past and it wasn’t until this time that I realized that they had never actually been able to help, again, when it came to trying to change another’s heart. Which is what I would ask them to do. Still I would waste time feeling productive repeating the three steps in continuum only to increasingly aggravate my personal mental health.
This time I saw myself waiting for the first step to kick in because it hadn’t come. Where was the anxiety and restlessness? The sleepless nights and tapes running in my head in repeat replaying what was hellish and had already happened were absent. It almost felt confusing, as if my nafs was as surprised as I was and we were both asking each other what was going on. “When are we planning to start worrying?” it would ask me and I would be quiet because I didn’t know why we weren’t worrying already. Yet the relief from both of us was palpable as was the recognition that this response wasn’t initiated by either of us.
We moved on to step two and that is where I set my own trap. Trying to come up with a solution forced me to imagine what the future might hold. Each of the imagined scenarios and their various outcomes were more frightening and damning than the next. The what-if this and what-if that brought on the anxiety and worrying that was otherwise absent. More than that it made me feel scared. I was not in fear for myself although I was not going to be left untouched any way it rolled out and the feeling had a depleting effect as fear always does.
It so happened the same afternoon I had a class with Qari Sahib. I had missed our group class where we were studying Surah Ar-Rahman and I had a make-up session with him. The verse where we started shone a direct light on my predicament.
وَلِمَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ جَنَّتَانِ
But for those who of their Sustainer’s Presence stand in fear, two gardens (of paradise are readied) – Surah Ar-Rahman, Verse 46
The first thing I learnt on that day was that being scared of anyone else was bringing them into association with God. I could either be afraid of that which is created or of The Creator but not both. After all, the worst fate possible for a loved one was death and it was pre-determined just like livelihood.
وَمَا مِن دَابَّةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ إِلَّا عَلَى اللَّهِ رِزْقُهَا وَيَعْلَمُ مُسْتَقَرَّهَا وَمُسْتَوْدَعَهَا ۚ
كُلٌّ فِي كِتَابٍ مُّبِينٍ
And there is no living creature on earth but depends for its sustenance on God. And He knows its time-limit (on Earth) and its resting-place (after death). All this is laid down in His Clear Decree – Surah Al-Hud, Verse 6
I read in a hadith recorded by Hazrat Bukhari (ra) the detail of the extent of that which is predestined.
حَدَّثَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَهُوَ الصَّادِقُ الْمَصْدُوقُ ، قَالَ : إِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ يُجْمَعُ خَلْقُهُ فِي بَطْنِ أُمِّهِ أَرْبَعِينَ يَوْمًا ،
ثُمَّ يَكُونُ عَلَقَةً مِثْلَ ذَلِكَ ، ثُمَّ يَكُونُ مُضْغَةً مِثْلَ ذَلِكَ ، ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ اللَّهُ مَلَكًا فَيُؤْمَرُ بِأَرْبَعِ كَلِمَاتٍ ،
وَيُقَالُ لَهُ : اكْتُبْ عَمَلَهُ وَرِزْقَهُ وَأَجَلَهُ وَشَقِيٌّ أَوْ سَعِيدٌ ،
The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, “The preparation of your birth takes place for 40 days whilst you are inside your mother’s womb…Then an angel is sent by God and ordered to inscribe four commands. It is said to him, ‘Write the deeds and the livelihood, the time of death and whether they will be miserable (astray) or blissful (guided).’”
I guess that pretty much covered it!
Since Ramadan, courtesy of my cousin Sanya who in turn heard about it from Uzair, I had been reading the tafseer of Hazrat Sahl Tustari (ra). He had written the exegesis of a 1,000 verses and it was full of the most profound insights. My mind recalled a passage from it I had copied out so I looked it up.
“There is a Paradise and Hellfire in this life. Paradise is safety (afiya) and safety is that God takes care of your affairs and Hellfire is tribulation (balwa). Tribulation is when He leaves you in charge of your self.
He was asked, “What is the way to relief (faraj)?”
Tustari (ra) replied; “Do not hope for relief while you still look to what is created. There is not a servant who desired God with a genuine resolve (azm sahih), without everything vanishing from his consciousness besides Him.
Moreover, there is not a servant for whom everything has vanished besides Him, who does not deserve that God takes care of his charges.
At the same time, there is not in this world a person who is truly obedient to God while he is also obeying his lower self and no one becomes distanced from God, except through engagement in that which is other than God.”
After Ghaus Pak (ra) and Iqbal, it was the third time in my life I had come across the notions of Heaven and Hell in this world. And not the Hereafter as everyone always assumes. Suddenly I was presented with a choice. Did I want to relegate myself to Hell by assuming charge of my own affairs, in this case not even mine? Did I want to put myself into a trial that would, in fact, never really end till my death?
That night when I prayed I sobbed and begged God to never ever put me in charge of my own matters ever, to never abandon me to Hell. “Devising and self-management is a sickness of the lower self,” says Hazrat Tustari (ra). Again the nafs. Always the nafs. It was truly the root of all wrong-doing and bringing injustice (zulm) upon one’s own self.
In my reading of the Quran I had been noticing the series of verses in the Quran of the categories of people Allah said He did not guide. I had found three. The syntax was the same in all.
Allahu la yahdi…
وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْكَافِرِينَ
And God does not guide people who are the Kafireen – Surah Al- Baqarah, Verse 264
وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الظَّالِمِينَ
And Allah guides not a people Zalimeen– Surah Al e Imran, Verse 86
وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْفَاسِقِينَ
And Allah does not guide the Fasiqeen – Surah Al-Maidah, Verse 108
The Kafireen, the Zalimeen and the Fasiqeen! Unlike what most Muslims think, the Kafireen were not the ones worshipping idols. They were the ungrateful. For in their inability to express gratitude for that which has been bestowed, they were in fact deniers of the Bestower of their blessings.
The Zalimeen, where I was placing myself in this context, were the unjust which the Quran further explains as the ones who bring torment (ziyadti) upon themselves and then others. One of the dominant factors behind that torment lies in being only and only obedient to one’s desires; wanting only what one wants to happen, wanting others to become how one wants them to be, refusing to do anything until those wants were met.
That stuckness, either in pursuit of the forbidden or adherence to falsehood or delusion, a stubborn-ness imbued ultimately in selfishness, was the cruelty and mistreatment directed towards one’s own being. Once a person was unfair to themselves, they were the same to any other. It didn’t matter who it was.
وَكَذَّبُوا وَاتَّبَعُوا أَهْوَاءَهُمْ ۚ وَكُلُّ أَمْرٍ مُّسْتَقِرٌّ
وَلَقَدْ جَاءَهُم مِّنَ الْأَنبَاءِ مَا فِيهِ مُزْدَجَرٌ
حِكْمَةٌ بَالِغَةٌ ۖ فَمَا تُغْنِ النُّذُرُ
For they are bent on denying the truth, being always wont to follow their own desires. Yet everything reveals its truth in the end.
And there has come unto them many a tiding that should have restrained (their arrogance).
A wisdom perfect but they avail no warnings – Surah Al-Qamar, Verse 3-5
The Fasiqeen were those who sin brazenly, the ones who are defiantly disobedient. Iblis is fasiq numero uno. I wondered if the selfie culture had made people nose-dive into that category unknowingly.
In my case, even though it was not of great personal benefit, I was wanting a particular outcome and therefore seeking control to make that happen. There was arrogance twofold. First in thinking that the outcome was “correct” and second, because I thought I was better than the other, pride was decimating me in every way. All this in terms of behaviour was not new to me.
The fear I felt attacked me in layers taking me all the way back to step one, which I had initially avoided, admittedly with no effort or awareness on my own part. I started stressing, thinking about the past. Could I have done anything differently? In those moments I recalled another line from Hazrat Tustari (ra).
“Every heart that preoccupies itself with that which does not concern it (past/future) will be punished immediately by missing out on that which is its genuine concern at that moment.”
The word that hit me like an arrow was “punished.” As a nerd who willingly submits to instruction, being punished was not on my agenda. I already knew that the past only evokes grief and the future anxiety. Psychology discovered that at some point too. I had also read somewhere that Allah is angered by the one who concerns themselves with that which does not concern them. The past is over. The future is unknown. I guess that is why all spiritual thought emphasizes living in the moment. And as always the epitome of that living is personified by one person.
Hazrat Muhammad Ibn al-Tirmidhi (ra): “No one but Al-Mustafa (peace be upon him) was able to obey the rules of the right time and the right action.”
Being in the present! Everyone is familiar with the concept these days. It was this Ramadan in one his three part lectures on muraqaba and etakaaf that Uzair explained what the Sufis mean when they say that “if one places close attention to just a single breath, just one inhale and exhale, a universe of secrets will unfold itself before one’s eyes.”
Uzair: “A human being takes roughly 20,000 breaths a day. So one breath is nothing as such, right? But each inhale and exhale involves a very complex process and its significance is even greater. When we inhale, know that the lungs have 300 million air sockets that receive the oxygen. If you spread the lungs out flat, the area they would cover is about 750 sq. feet. Then the lungs pass the oxygen to a network of blood vessels that, if you tried to thread, would cover 96,000 km.
To give you perspective on how long that is, the circumference of the Earth is 40,000 km. So the oxygen will go through a network of the blood vessels that would circumambulate around this world about two and a half times. Still, we are talking about one single breath. The trillions of cells we have in our body, if we then thread each and every cell and neuron, it would be millions of miles long, reaching outer space. That one breath is providing what is necessary for life to all of them.
The single breath is itself an incredible journey in spirituality. Forget being focused for minutes and hours. If we can develop the ability to just focus on a single breath, a single moment, we will understand that we cannot even be grateful for the miracle our body experiences through that one breath, much less the countless other blessings we receive.
That focus allows us to see what it is we are doing wrong if we want to know it. Through it comes the next step, the muhasaba, taking accountability, and then the musharita, forcing oneself to break a pattern. All of this happens only through increased sensitivity, finding beauty and unexpected miracles in ordinary life, all from the focus on one breath.”
Subhan Allah!
Devising and self-management had been a huge part of my spiritual journey. I used to read about rules from the spiritual masters and then try to bring them into practice. I would make lectures out of the knowledge I gained and share them with others. But over the last 10 years that I have been seeking myself, I have found and therefore finally understood what the Quran means when Allah says:
وَمَا يَذْكُرُونَ إِلَّا أَن يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ ۚ هُوَ أَهْلُ التَّقْوَىٰ وَأَهْلُ الْمَغْفِرَةِ
And they will not heed unless Allah wills it. He is the Fount of God-Consciousness and He is the Fount of Mercy – Surah Al-Mudassir, Verse 56
While in Islamabad I had gone to Golra to say salam to my spiritual masters as I do when I enter and leave the city. Usually after praying nafal I read Surah Yaseen but this time I happened to pick up a thin book that had the last chapters of the Quran. Amongst these was Surah An-Nuzi’at. Verses 37-40 spoke to me for there it was again, “the one who stood in fear before God.”
فَأَمَّا مَن طَغَىٰ
For, unto him who shall have transgressed the bounds of what is right,
وَآثَرَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا
And preferred the life (of) the world,
فَإِنَّ الْجَحِيمَ هِيَ الْمَأْوَىٰ
Then indeed, the Hellfire, it (is) the refuge.
Ghaus Pak defines the fire of Hell as set ablaze by their anger and lust, which then encircles a person and entraps them inside it. Again a state in this world!
وَأَمَّا مَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ وَنَهَى النَّفْسَ عَنِ الْهَوَىٰ
But as for (him) who feared standing (before) his Lord, and restrained his soul from the vain desires,
The Tafseer e Jilani continues: The one who is conscious of standing before Allah in fear on the Day of Judgment with his deeds before him and the rewards for it, is the one who has a heart and soul that is fearful of wrongfulness. It is this fear that allows one to retreat from the wrongdoing. How? Through controlling and denying their nafs from what it desires. From the ego that destroys it and from Iblis who misleads it.
فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ هِيَ الْمَأْوَىٰ
Then indeed, Paradise - it (is) the refuge.
They are the ones fortressed by Heaven which they occupy into eternity with only bettering states.
The proof of being guided or astray coming only from God lay in my regression. No matter what I learned, whenever I took credit for it, a test would present itself. I would always regress and when I did, I went straight to zero. It was as if I had never left the starting point. Then within moments of that realization I would be made to remind myself that the movement that occurs on a spiritual path is only and only because of the master.
The nafs cannot change and it will never die. It can only be moulded by the one who has been granted sanction to bring about change in another. Otherwise undoubtedly, I find myself to be the manifestation of the failure of “devising and self-management.”
The good news was that understanding the states of Paradise and Hellfire from the perspective in the Tafseer e Tustari allowed me to skip step three. I did not call any one. I did not ask anyone for help. I wanted to of course feel proud of that too but I was so happy to have avoided that asking I could only feel grateful. I spent some time thinking about why it was Hellfire to turn towards “the created.”
Upon reflection I understood that seeking someone for aid caused a pendulum of two states for me; first humiliation because I put myself in the position of asking for something. And then bitterness when they denied me or were just plain unable to deliver on my request despite sincere efforts. In the particular context where I sought their help this happened not once but every single time! Yet I did it again and again and again. So I purposely chose Hell. On my own, such regression would have lasted my entire life. With my healers beside me, it lasted hours. I confess each time that happens it feels like a miracle.
The plan was to be in the mountains for three days, which turned to five once the writing started. In keeping with my regimented personality I had a routine. I had taken some bread, cheese and honey with me so I would make a sandwich every afternoon for lunch and head off to find a spot to picnic. There was no dearth of them and each one was more gorgeous than the next. I had brought with me a couple of New Yorkers and Ghaus Pak’s (ra) Al-Fatah Ar-Rabbani from which I read a page or two every day.
On day one I came across a passage that intrigued me.
“You are needful of effort so you learn the practice of constructing something. When you make something a thousand times and break it a thousand times, only then will it become perfect so that there will be no need to break it again. When you dissolve yourself in the making and breaking, then Allah will make it for you so there it will never break again.”
I called Qari Sahib and asked him if we could have a lecture on the paragraph so I could understand it better. As always he readily obliged and we set a time for the next day. The question burning in my head was the making and breaking over and over. My friend a musician, Ustad Imran Jafri, had said the exact same thing in the context of music. His father would tell him to play with a piece, making and breaking it, until somehow perfection emoted from it naturally. I hadn’t understood it then either. The coincidence of the usage of the exact same words in two different contexts piqued my interest even more.
“What is it that is being built here Sir, that is being broken and remade over and over?” I asked Qari Sahib as soon as the class began.
I could hear the smile in my teacher’s voice.
“We will get there but first let me tell you about the heart. It is made such that it attaches itself to people again and again. And all that it loves, makhlooq, nature, wealth, beauty, change its mood, change its form. Sometimes we break things off, sometimes others do. Sometimes we leave them, or they leave us. We fall in love with something, we fall out of love with it and so life goes on.
The construct of love is built and then is torn down. It happens many times over the course of one’s life. But the order, the command, is not to leave love, yet to not become caged by it either for nothing is permanent. It is only love that takes one towards God. If because of love sadness is given to you savour it, if happiness is bestowed feel it.”
“Wow,” I thought. Then of course came the verses of the Quran to make the point.
زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ
وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالْأَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ۗ ذَٰلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ
وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الْمَآبِ
Beautified for Mankind is love of the things they desire of the women and the sons and the heaps stored up of gold and silver, and horses branded, and cattle and tilled land. That is provision of life of the world but Allah - with Him is an excellent abode to return – Surah Aal e Imran, Verse 14
Qari Sahib continued: “Love appears in relationships, with spouses and children. People become allured by their wealth, possessing objects of value becomes a pastime. These are the things of the world that make it attractive for you. Did the prophets not have children, were they not made kings?
The difference between the believer and the one astray is in the former never forgetting in any moment that Allah is the Best Destination. Remember that anything that connects you to God was always beautiful, even when it appeared to be painful, even when it was a betrayal.”
The words were heavy. I took them in slowly. I could see the bricks he was talking about now, the construct Ghaus Pak (ra) was alluding to that would forever be in a state of formation and dismantling. The pain, the betrayal, even those were a building block because their root lay in love. It was just that disappointment shadowed it allowing for pretense that it was forgotten but even disappointment couldn’t make it vanish. Under the anger there was a pining. It was simply when it was unrequited that a thorn was created. But attached to that thorn there was once a rose.
The pain made the building weak and break. Until love, painless, guiltless, appeared again and set its construction in motion. Life was a series of tests. The ones bestowed blessings of wealth had it taken from them to see if they were grateful and fulfilled the rights of Allah’s Generosity towards them. The behaviours of loved ones becoming difficult waited for the emergence of patience.
لِّنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَمَن يُعْرِضْ عَن ذِكْرِ رَبِّهِ يَسْلُكْهُ عَذَابًا صَعَدًا
That We might test them therein. And whoever turns away from the Remembrance of his Lord, He will make him undergo a suffering grevious – Surah Al-Jinn, Verse 17
Qari Sahib: “When you finally understand how Allah has created you and your deeds for you, that He is the one who has made the relations you have for you, no matter who they are and what they are, then you can take out your own role-playing in it. Then you can see how little control you have, at least in the actions of another for starters, if not yourself. Can you change who your parents and siblings are? Those bricks are already made, whether they hold pain or love for you will ultimately be in your hands.”
It was true enough. Everyone was on their own path, playing out their own destiny. Where we entwined with others came from the heavens. The only focus I could have was upon my own self, if that. Focus on my building, my learning through love and how it moulded me and through me the construction of my identity.
Later I would read in Ghaus Pak’s (ra) book that the one who sees with the eyes of the heart, the qalb, envisions kindness and cruelty from people in fact all as coming from God.
وَاللَّهُ خَلَقَكُمْ وَمَا تَعْمَلُونَ
While it is God who has created you and all your handiwork – Surah As-Saffat, Verse 96
Thus the attention was not ever placed on the person who was merely the medium of doling it out. For such a seeker, the individual did not hold importance for the eyes had transferred from the created towards The Creator. While remaining bound by His Laws, they were soft towards the cruel and grateful to the kind.
In the context of handiwork I wondered about the role of livelihood in particular. So many were so focused on it with a determination that was usually impressive. But I learnt from Ghaus Pak (ra) that even that was a veil hiding a wound or an arrogance that was itself misery.
“O one who only thinks of the world too much, who has no concern with the Day of Judgement, who is only attached to the created and not The Creator, your only fear is that of poverty and your only desire is for more wealth. Woe upon your state! Rizq (income) has been allotted already. It cannot be increased nor decreased. It cannot come to you earlier or later.
You harbour doubt in Allah and you are filled with greed for you wish for that which is not written for you…Today you rely on your nafs (ego), on people and the world, on your money and your ability to buy and sell. Know, every single thing that you depend on becomes your god and every single person that you become afraid of or rest your hope in becomes your god and every individual who you connect your benefit and loss with, forgetting that everything is coming from Allah alone, becomes your god.”
And Tustari (ra) redefines livelihood altogether: “The light of the heart and its illumination (tanwir) through remembrance (zikr), that is the livelihood of the spiritual self (nafs al-ruh) and the intellect (aql), as they are the livelihood of the angels.”
The funny thing was the distribution of everything was not just related to the world. So was everything pre-distributed in the Hereafter, even the ranks and blessings of the heavens. That is why the ones who loved God only sought Him, His Light. Seeing Him was their sole Paradise. Otherwise even upon entering Heaven they kept their eyes closed, only opening them once they were promised that upon doing so they would witness their Lord.
Qari Sahib continued the lecture: “The experience of love is the greatest bestowing from Allah to His Servant. He makes it exist between people where it would never have been deemed possible.”
وَأَلَّفَ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِهِمْ لَوْ أَنفَقْتَ مَا فِي الْأَرْضِ جَمِيعًا مَّا أَلَّفْتَ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِهِمْ
وَلَٰكِنَّ اللَّهَ أَلَّفَ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ
And He has put affection between their hearts. If you had spent whatever is in the Earth all you could not have put affection between their hearts, but Allah has put affection between them. Indeed, He (is) All-Mighty, All-Wise – Surah Al-Anfal, Verse 63
I asked the obvious question.
“But then Sir, what about the deeds that are harmful, where we inflict pain and suffering upon others. The deeds that are wrong, prohibited, that we commit ourselves.”
Qari Sahib smiled. “You already know the answer to this from your book. It is about adab. From the prophets we learnt, all good things are attributed to Allah Subhan Ta’ala and all bad to our own selves.”
I did know that. I wrote about a chapter about it so I went back to it.
(Begin excerpt The Softest Heart)
In Fes, about six months after my Umra, I chose to study adab with Ustad Ahmed. That is where I learnt the first manifestation of regard in Creation, through the Prophets in their expression of it towards God. He chose a series of verses in all of which the Prophets were in a state of intense suffering, physical and emotional.
We started from the beginning with the Prophet Adam (as) after he and Amma Hawwa (ratu) were made to leave Heaven for a transgression they were enticed to commit:
قَالَا رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا
وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ
The two replied, "O our Sustainer! We have sinned against ourselves and unless You grant us forgiveness and bestow Your mercy upon us, we shall most certainly be lost!" - Surah Al-Aa’raaf, Verse 23
We moved on to Hazrat Younis (as) when he was trapped in the belly of the whale after he left his nation.
وَذَا النُّونِ إِذ ذَّهَبَ مُغَاضِبًا فَظَنَّ أَن لَّن نَّقْدِرَ عَلَيْهِ فَنَادَىٰ فِي الظُّلُمَاتِ
أَن لَّا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ
And the Man of the Fish, when he went off in anger and thought that We would not decree (anything) upon him. And he called out within the darkness, ‘There is no deity except You; Exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers” - Surah Al-Anbiya, Verse 87
Then Hazrat Ayub (as) when he was sick for 18 years, his body covered in painful boils.
وَأَيُّوبَ إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُ أَنِّي مَسَّنِيَ الضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ
And the Prophet Job (as), when he called to his Lord, "Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful” - Surah Al-Anbiya, Verse 83
Followed by Hazrat Ibrahim (as) when he spoke to his nation about His Lord.
وَالَّذِي هُوَ يُطْعِمُنِي وَيَسْقِينِ - وَإِذَا مَرِضْتُ فَهُوَ يَشْفِينِ الَّذِي خَلَقَنِي فَهُوَ يَهْدِينِ -
And He who created me, and He (it is who) guides me. And it is He who feeds me and gives me drink. And when I am ill, it is He who cures me - Surah Ash-Shuraa, Verse 78-80
“What is the commonality in the verses?” asked Ustad Ahmed.
“There are many factors but study them for a minute and tell me which stands out for you the most?”
I read them all carefully one by one.
“There is no blame or accusation,” I said. “They never say what happened to them did so because of Allah. Even though it did. Didn’t it?”
My teacher smiled.
“It did. Since the Prophets are not given Free Will like us ordinary people. Yet they ascribe all that is good to Him and all that went wrong to themselves even though there were no choices exercised. That is adab.”
He asked me to go over the prayer of Hazrat Ibrahim (as) in particular. The prayer is long and the rhythm, the meter is very specific in how it repeats itself in its musicality. The Quran does that in its verse countless times. Apparently there is a reason why a certain surah has a certain meter and why that meter is chosen by God in a certain context. Another one of the mysteries only those in the know know. The rhythm in the reading aloud has always one of the most mesmerizing parts of the Quran for me despite knowing nothing about it.
Hazrat Ibrahim (as) had changed the syntax at one point in the last verse that I include here (the prayer itself continues).
وَالَّذِي هُوَ يُطْعِمُنِي وَيَسْقِينِ - وَإِذَا مَرِضْتُ فَهُوَ يَشْفِينِ الَّذِي خَلَقَنِي فَهُوَ يَهْدِينِ -
“And Who creates me and guides me and feeds me and gives me drink.” But then suddenly he switches the form to, “And when I am ill, it is He who cures me.”
Not “and He is the one who makes me ill (and it is He who cures me)”but instead, “And when I am ill!”
One might think there is a submission in that expression as well. Being happy in all states is in fact the highest form of Gnosis (ma’rifat) but manners trump submission because they precede it. Regard comes first without which the rest is not possible, is not sustainable. Love encompasses surrender and the beginning of love is regard. That adab itself begins with the absence of blame, no matter what happens. What my teacher was telling me was that blame and adab and therefore love were mutually exclusive. If there was one, there could not be the existence of the other.
(End excerpt The Softest Heart)
Many of my relationships once had morphed into those of fear and need. Each time I expected affection and found it absent, the effect was crushing. With that came blame and just like that, I did not know then, the little bird called “Love” flew out the window, in some relationships decades ago, without so much as even a goodbye.
Then over time I realized that if the relationship was such as with a parent or a child or a sibling, essentially blood, it was all the more sad because those relationships leave a residue in one’s life even from the grave. But I also learnt it was just as easy to woo back. Because an apology sincere wipes the slate clean as it is repentance and when adab returns so does love.
If there was a reason to be content with whatever it is that comes my way and not devising, Maulana Rum (ra) spelled it out in a way I have never forgotten since the day I read it:
What you seek is seeking you.
When I run after what I believe I want,
my days are a furnace of stress and tension.
But if I sit in my own place of patience,
what I need flows to me itself, without any pain.
From this I understand that
what I am seeking is also seeking me,
is looking for me and attracting me.
There is a great (Divine) Secret here
for those who can comprehend it.
Qari Sahib gave me a warning too: “The building of love rises and falls. Never turn your face from love in fear. Remember that the love comes from Him.”
I had to ask the obvious. “But is there a way to tell when love is good for us and when it is harmful? When it is real and when it is a mirage we create out of need?”
I could see him weighing his words before he replied, “You’re asking me what is the tell for love. To be honest whether it is imagined or real, whether it’s sincere of just lust or desperation, who can really say for sure. For instance let’s say when we are the object of someone’s affection but we don’t return that love. It is still a brick in their building of love if not ours.
If I were to tell you to watch out for two things, it would be these; don’t become tired and therefore hopeless and don’t become tight-hearted.”
He said the words in Punjabi though and certainly made them unforgettable: “Akna nahin te thakna nahin!”
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say, "O Those who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of the Mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives the sins all. Indeed He, He (is) the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful. – Surah Az-Zumar, Verse 53
Qari Sahib ended on this note: “Let life continue. A time will come when through the experiences of love, of building and rebuilding it, the “I” will break. Don’t ask as many do, ‘Why is this happening to me?’ It’s happening to everyone. Break and build, break and build like a worker. The architect is God. He decides everything and He solely causes our wrongdoings to disappear. He will make the building perfect.”
يَمْحُو اللَّهُ مَا يَشَاءُ وَيُثْبِتُ وَعِندَهُ أُمُّ الْكِتَابِ
God annuls or confirms whatever He wills for with Him is the source of all revelation – Surah Ar-Ra’d, Verse 39
So if God was the architect then all the bricks were from him. This made me realize that each person in my life was merely a mirror. No matter who they were, parent or child, sibling or spouce/romantic partner, stranger or friend. They were merely a means to see my own reaction and deed. Life was a house of mirrors. In the dysfunctional relationships when someone appeared distorted, it was because of the way I was dealing with them. I was the one flawed.
In my building of love these days, I noticed that a key aspect of my reaction to people centered around choosing strength over weakness. Doing the opposite, opting for weakness over strength, was diametrically opposite to the intrinsic nature of my nafs. I’m a Scorpio. Weakness had always been met with disdain by me. Or at least it used to be until I read that the nafs destroys imaan (faith) with lust and anger. But in all honesty knowing that fact hadn’t change me.
For many others I observed the position of strength was veiled in overt calmness, a flatness of tone. Words were polite, voices weren’t raised but neither anger nor harshness can be hidden. Like always there was a rule and once again, it came to me from the Tafseer e Tustari. The magnificence of the tafseer was heightened because it came from one of the most significant lines of praise for the Prophet (peace be upon him) by His God in the Quran;
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
And most surely you are of sublime character – Surah Tahreem, Verse 8
The exegesis: You have taken on the propriety taught by the Quran, and have not exceeded its bounds, which are in His Words, Exalted is God. “Indeed God joins justice and virtue (16/90)” and “it was by the mercy of God that you were lenient with them (3/159).”
Then he (Tustari) said: “Truly anger (ghadab) and harshness (hidda) come from the servant’s dependence on his own strength (quwwa). However, when he gives up relying on his own strength, weakness will take up residence in his soul, and this will generate mercy (rahma) and benevolence (lutf) from him, which is to take on the characteristics of the Lord, His Majesty be magnified.”
When I thought about it I realized weakness only felt counter intuitive because people with wealth are used to being in a position of power vis a vis someone or the other all day long. Especially in a country like Pakistan where the majority of the people are poor. And each time power or strength was exerted, the result was inevitably harsh.
The poor on the other hand, always in a position of relative weakness, were gentle and humble. They were kind and forgiving. It wasn’t only because they didn’t have a choice. It was exactly the being in a position of weakness, as Hazrat Tustari (ra) was saying, that rendered them benevolent and merciful. No wonder they held an exalted spiritual rank before God!
I started paying attention to my own behaviour when I exhibited anger or harshness. I found I was always in a position of power that allowed me to get away with it. When I finally began to shut my mouth, for starters, and opt for weakness instead, I saw the difference in my tongue and therefore heart. Its hardness in the former state versus softness in the latter. In the context of this shifting behaviour, one of my favourite stories from the life of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) came to my mind.
“It was the time when the Prophet (peace be upon him) was living in Medina after the migration. Hazrat Thumama Bin Asal (ra) from Yamama was one of the most important heads of tribe of his area which provided the bulk of agricultural goods for the Meccans. He had accepted Islam at the hand of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). After doing so he asked for permission to perform the Umra and left for Mecca.
The infidels came up to him, one by one taunting him for leaving the religion of their forefathers. Hazrat Thumama (ra) told them he had accepted the faith that spoke to his heart. When they continued their mocking, he responded firmly by swearing upon God that going forward, without the permission of the Prophet (peace be upon him), not a single grain of food supplies would enter Mecca from his region. Saying this he left the city.
By his order, food supplies from Yamama were stopped and famine hit Mecca. The infidels tried to wait it out but then when they became desperate, they wrote a letter to the Prophet (peace be upon him). Invoking the state of being gracious and compassionate to his blood (sila rahmi), they asked for him to intercede on their behalf with Hazrat Thumama (ra)."
It always struck me how their requests of him were entirely absent of even a hint of a conciliatory or apologetic tone. Not to mention the exact opposite of their own behaviour and attitude.
"The Prophet (peace be upon him) sent a single line to Hazrat Thumama (ra); ‘Lift the restriction (you have imposed).’”
And just like that the food supplies resumed.
The situation between the Prophet of God (peace be upon him) and the Meccans at this time was of enmity and wars were being waged. But he did not use the situation to any advantage whereas, if he had wanted, he could have forced them to concede on anything. The matter was of food, an essential need. What others might have perceived as “weak” action is what personified perfection of mercy and kindness. Upon an enemy no less! Here I was trying to invoke it with loved ones or at least those I cared about and it was a task and a half.
It all seemed to come down to this; whenever I was trying to inculcate a rule, apply a learning or at least have a desire for it, if the reason for doing so was Allah or one of His Chosen, then it took effect. Otherwise there were always residual feelings. The zahir (overt) and batin (inner being) could never be aligned unless they both focused on Him. Otherwise, knowingly or not, one pervaded over the other causing confusion and chaos.
Perhaps that is why in the Quran many times, Allah asks Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) to be patient for His Sake alone.
وَلِرَبِّكَ فَاصْبِرْ
And be patient for your Lord - Surah Al-Mudassar, Verse 7
Weakness had to be chosen by me mindfully. It is said that wealth is the thickest veil between Allah and the believer. I knew it was the factor that granted me power all day. No wonder those chosen by God as His Beloveds opted for faqr, a state of penury, being without possessions, every single time. They were following the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
Hazrat Tustari (ra) again: “The mindful have freed themselves from the claim of possessing any power or strength except in God, Exalted is He, and who have resorted to taking refuge in Him and depended on solely His Strength (quwwa) and Power (hawl) in every situation. So God has assisted them and provided for them whence they had no reckoning, and made for them a source of relief and release from the trials to which He has subjected them.”
It certainly lent new meaning to the verse:
لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللهِ
La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.
"We have no power to to keep ourselves from disobedience save through Your protection and we have no strength to obey You save through Your aid."
I knew that all hearts were locked in one way or another but I didn’t know, until I read it, that most people would leave this world without those locks being opened.
“And God, Exalted is He, created the hearts and secured them with locks. Then He made the realities of faith (haqaiq-al-iman) the keys to hearts. With those keys the only hearts he opened to realization (tahaqeeq) were those of His Friends (auliya), Messengers (rusul) and the veracious (siddiqoon). The rest of the people leave this world without the locks on their hearts being opened.
The renunciants (zuhhad), devout worshippers (ubbad), and scholars (ulema) will leave this world with locked hearts because they sought the keys to them with intellect (aql) and thus strayed from the path.
If only they had sought them by having recourse to God-given success (tawfeeq) and grace (fadl) they would have attained them (the keys). The key is to know that God is taking care of you and watching over your bodily members and to know that works are not complete without sincerity (ikhlas) accompanied by heedfulness.”
The first time I read the words above I was taken aback. The zuhhad, ubbad and ulema, these were categories of high status in any faith. If they were leaving the world with locked hearts what was happening for the rest of us? I knew one thing. There was no way I was dying with a lock on my heart. So the ask of tawfeeq and fadl, something Qari Sahib had always told us to include in our prayer, finally entered mine.
Then I discovered another way to receive ability.
“Whoever opens himself a door to goodness, will find that God open for him 70 doors to divinely-bestowed success (tawfeeq)”, said Hazrat Tustari (ra).
Sometimes I bait my friends. I know them as well as they know themselves, perhaps better. Just like I am sure they know me better than I know myself. That is the beauty of friendship. Its clarity comes from its purity. I don’t say outright anymore what I think might ease their situation, trying to follow the rule of not offering advice until it is sought. Biting my tongue half the time to make that happen as that also goes against my nature. But I have come around to it.
I literally bait them though to see if they want to hear what I have found to be a reprieve for myself. I bait them to see if they want an out, if not for themselves then for their children. Nine times out of then they don’t. I don’t know what it is that they have become used to? Is it that the wound has been there throughout their life and therefore seems natural? Is it the position they have locked themselves into, the changing of which would require a humbling, possibly a shattering?
My heart bleeds for them and I can’t even tell them that. So I do the only thing I can do, pray for them. And it’s the same prayer for myself. From darkness into light. Always the same ask, from darkness of the nafs into the light of The Beloved (peace be upon him).
Amir bin Abd al Qays used to say when he rose in the morning, “O God! Verily people have dispersed in pursuit of their needs, but I have only one need which is that you forgive me.”
Words like these are the reason I call my niece every day these days, as opposed to just the weekend, to instill in her a practice recent for me. First I forgive myself for that I am unable to do, then I ask Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) to pray for Allah to forgive me so that He is the Acceptor of my repentance. As He promises to be in the Quran each time His Beloved prays for us when we seek forgiveness. Thus I begin and end my days acknowledging my endless shortcomings and forcing myself to shift reliance on my Creator for everything.
I could sense the prayer held a calm for her even though she didn’t understand the words. She never once asked me what it was she was unable to do every single day that warranted forgiveness. I was happy about that. It meant she could be obedient and do something solely on the basis of trust and love without reason standing in the way. It saved me the explanation I would have had to give otherwise on shortcomings of a human being as a nine year old. What were those anyway?
Next up for her was going to come from what is my favourite passage these days. I read it in “”The Book of Sufi Chivalry” by Ibn Al-Hussain Al-Sulami (ra) and it was a phenomenal read on excellence in behaviour. One day I was telling her about the pre-determination of livelihood and death for each human being. Again heavy for a kid but I saw so many children of all ages obsessing about money, talking about it, collecting it and desiring it, that I wanted her to stay away from all that.
“There is a tree,” I said. “It is in the heavens and on that tree is a leaf with the name of every single person who will be born in this world. On that leaf are written many things and two of those are how much money they will have and when they will die.”
She listened intently then wailed, “I want to see that tree.”
I burst out laughing but then it struck me. I had never thought to have that desire. “Well,” I said seriously, “Allah’s Friends see it. So if you want to see it you have to be close to Allah. Then maybe He will show it to you.”
It was the perfect segue to my story for her that day.
“A man asked Hazrat Abu Yazid Al-Bastami (ra), ‘Show me the shortest way to reach Allah, the Most High.’
Abu Yazaid (ra) said, ‘Love those beloved of Allah and make yourself lovable to them so that they love you, because Allah looks into the hearts of those whom he loves 70 time a day. Perchance He will find your name in the heart of the one He loves, then He will love you too, and forgive you your sins.’”
What makes one lovable to another I thought? Then I remembered;
It has been related that God (Exalted is He) said in a revelation to the Prophet Moses (as), “Do you know why I cast My Love upon you?” to which he replied, “No, O Lord.”
And He said, “Because you sought My Delight.”
The same reason we fall in love in the world!
Qari Sahib says that the heart that is dead is the heart that is drowning in darkness. Psychology has established that the foundation of darkness is shame. Rejection by a loved one from whom love was not just necessary, it was a right. The denial of that, most likely in childhood or otherwise formative years, creates the first layer of self-loathing and inadequacy that over time takes the form of a raging internal battle, an eternal longing for approval from where it can never come. Not to mention the seeking of approval in every relationship that follows as well. Pain and anger change places every so often. For some, anger becomes overtly paramount in front of others but in aloneness only grief persists. The open wound festers.
Ghaus Pak’s (ra) words gave me a new meaning, surreally beautiful, to even shame. The unkindness from another, also damaged, may come in the beginning of life but it is still one brick, albeit a foundational one, in an entire structure. Over and over in the Quran Allah says He is the Most Just. Therefore there can be no injustice from Him no matter the circumstances a person experiences.
مَا يُبَدَّلُ الْقَوْلُ لَدَيَّ وَمَا أَنَا بِظَلَّامٍ لِّلْعَبِيدِ
The judgment passed by Me shall not be altered and never do I do the least wrong unto My Creatures!” – Surah Qaf – Verse 29
It is just the lack of understanding from the human side that warps perspective and creates doubt. When the Prophet Moses (as) sought Hazrat Khizr's (as) permission to follow him so as to learn what he knew of right guidance, Hazrat Khizr (as) was reluctant. The reason he gave was that the Prophet Moses (as) would not be patient while also admitting that it was understandable since he did not possess the knowledge relevant to the matters. The condition upon which he agreed to allow him to enter his company was that the Prophet Moses (as) would not ask any questions.
When Hazrat Khizr (as) came upon a boy and killed him the Prophet Moses (as) was stunned. Unable to control himself he said, “Have you killed a soul, pure, while he did not kill anyone? Certainly, you have done a thing evil.” Upon asking the question, he himself conceded that he had broken their pact and Hazrat Khizr (as) decided that they should part ways but that he would give him the reason behind the event.
وَأَمَّا الْغُلَامُ فَكَانَ أَبَوَاهُ مُؤْمِنَيْنِ فَخَشِينَا أَن يُرْهِقَهُمَا طُغْيَانًا وَكُفْرًا
And as for the boy his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them by transgression and denial of the truth.
فَأَرَدْنَا أَن يُبْدِلَهُمَا رَبُّهُمَا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُ زَكَاةً وَأَقْرَبَ رُحْمًا
And so we desired that their Sustainer grant them in his stead (a child) of greater purity than him, and closer (to them) in loving tenderness - Surah Al-Kahf, Verse 80-81
The last verse of Surah Al-Baqarah says it most concisely. Even the ones who make torment and humiliation mandatory on themselves, Allah does not punish even them more than they deserve.
لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ
لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ
God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear. In his favour shall be whatever good he does, and against him whatever evil he does – Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 286
In the course of my life I have often seen how the ones who had highly dysfunctional parents, at least when it came to that kid, intensifying the madness of their child's behaviour over time, were given each and every thing they have wanted in the world. Whatever their desire was and often it wasn’t even asked for, they received from God, sometimes again and again, what others pined and prayed for and were often denied. And that’s just the world. Only He knows what they will granted in the Hereafter. Everything is in a perfect balance.
For me the most difficult part of my life was being in a boarding school at five which created abandonment issues. I used to joke with my friends that it was an orphanesque experience. So as it turned out the abandonment was a foundational brick in my building of love. One that I didn’t lay, it was laid for me. But being there was also what defined the strength of my personality, overt and inward. In a worldly sense of being super independent, extremely disciplined and highly productive at a young age and because that same separation from my mother created an intense love for her that manifested itself in absolute obedience. The intrinsic ingredient of our souls!
There was a time I wondered what it might be like to see those who denied me love in another realm. They had their own story for why they had been who they were. I imagined what it might be like seeing them in their asl, their original form; a qalb (heart), a ruh (soul), pure. I would wonder how different our interaction would be.
But now I think more than them I would like to meet my own self. Not the one I search for through these days and nights. Not the one enwrapped in layers and veils, under cloaks of secrets I keep, lies I silently whisper to myself. I suppose the closest I get to that self in in those mirrors of the others I love. Now it makes sense what my Mamu said; the relationship of love between two human beings, when it is pure, mirrors the love The Divine feels towards His Chosen. That is the exalted rank of love, higher than all else. Higher than renunciation, worship and pursuit of knowledge!
The Quran says all the wounds of all of humanity have only one balm.
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاءَكُمُ الرَّسُولُ بِالْحَقِّ مِن رَّبِّكُمْ فَآمِنُوا خَيْرًا لَّكُمْ ۚ
وَإِن تَكْفُرُوا فَإِنَّ لِلَّهِ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ ۚ
وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا
O Mankind! Surely has come to you the Messenger with the truth from your Lord so believe, it is better for you. But if you disbelieve, then indeed, to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and the Earth. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise – Surah An-Nisa, Verse 170
“It is better for you.”
When put so simply I don’t know what other convincing one needs. So these days I plead for all of our hearts that contend with disappointment in one form or another, but specifically those with a parent-conflict, to receive an ease. I pray for us to feel the light, the nur of The Beloved (peace be upon him), to become infused with just a single ray of it so all our wounds are healed. For it is from him I heard that prayer changes destiny.
عَنْ سَلْمَانَ الْفَارِسِيِّ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ حَيِيٌّ كَرِيمٌ يَسْتَحْيِي إِذَا رَفَعَ الرَّجُلُ إِلَيْهِ يَدَيْهِ أَنْ يَرُدَّهُمَا صِفْرًا خَائِبَتَيْنِ
The Prophet of God (peace be upon him) said, “In all humility, with an attentive heart, having full hope in his Creator, Maker, Sustainer and Cherisher, one attracts the gaze of mercy of the Master who feels shy in turning His Servant away empty handed.”
If there ever was a prayer that encompasses everything in terms of an ask, I have discovered it to be the last verse of the Surah Al-Baqarah. In many traditions it is said that the last two verses of the surah were gifted to the Prophet (peace be upon him) on the Night of the Ascension.
رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ
رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا ۚ
رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ ۖ
وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا ۚ
أَنتَ مَوْلَانَا فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ
O our Lord! Take us not to task if we forget or unwittingly do wrong!
O our Lord! Lay not upon us a burden such as You did lay upon those who lived before us!
O our Lord! Make us not bear burdens which we have no strength to bear! And efface our sins, and grant us forgiveness, and bestow Your Mercy upon us!
You are our Lord Supreme. Succour us, then, against people who deny the truth!" – Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 286
As prayers go it is certainly all encompassing; for forgiveness of mistakes made deliberately or inadvertently, for shortcomings as well as transgressions, for selfishness as well as indulgences of the nafs. Pretty much for all that which exists in continuum, a plea is made for pardon and erasure, its utterance offering a slate wiped clean every single time. But there has to be the ask.
In his tafseer Ghaus Pak (ra) says; “Even for those difficulties which can be borne by a person, they are in need of tawfeeq (Divinely bestowed success) which has to be pleaded for through prayer.”
From a different angle of doing things for ulterior motives, even if one doesn’t believe in an Afterlife, bringing life to a standstill in the world by rejecting love, repelling it, means letting one’s building of love become a ruin. It means relegating even what was once beautiful to a “khandar”; a decrepit existence, filled with ghosts of memories past and yearnings of futures improbable, burgeoning with doubt and delusion, paranoia and bitterness.
Qari Sahib says that changing a state, any state no matter how desolate, only requires one element. In the end everything pivots around the Will of Allah Al Hadi’, The Provider of Guidance, for over guidance is His Authority alone and it requires but a single step.
قُلْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُضِلُّ مَن يَشَاءُ وَيَهْدِي إِلَيْهِ مَنْ أَنَابَ
Say O Beloved (peace be upon you): Verily God lets go astray him who wills (to go astray), just as He guides to Himself all who turn to Him - Surah Ar-Rad, Verse 27”
I guess my wishing it won’t make it happen, that the single "turn" would just come for everyone like the sun, whether they wanted it or not. Like rain, whether they needed it or not. Even if it was just for a moment, even if it was accidental or out of curiosity, even if it was later denied. For too many it would not be for the first time anyway, only a reminding.
We could all feel the exact same thing at the exact same time, be a single conscience in perfect harmony. Then go back to our lives. If the past has to be recalled, no matter what wisdom says, the one time it would not be a punishment is when we would remember Him, having tried out all the others and realize, He was indeed for us a treasure.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCqb01bB-J3kyiu-HKIX2MKw
Uzair lecture on Muraqaba: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6TV-bGJ9ZM
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Continued from: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51871571321/in/datepos...
Uzair: “Then Allah does that even with the faiths that went headlong against His Tauheed, One-ness. The Christians who made the Prophet Isa (as), Jesus, His son. Many times, in about 30 some verses at least, He admonishes them. But then He also says:
مَّ قَفَّيْنَا عَلَىٰٓ ءَاثَرِهِم بِرُسُلِنَا وَقَفَّيْنَا بِعِيسَى ٱبْنِ مَرْيَمَ وَءَاتَيْنَهُ ٱلْإِنجِيلَ وَجَعَلْنَا فِى قُلُوبِ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّبَعُوهُ رَأْفَةًۭ وَرَحْمَةًۭ وَرَهْبَانِيَّةً ٱبْتَدَعُوهَا مَا كَتَبْنَهَا عَلَيْهِمْ إِلَّا ٱبْتِغَآءَ رِضْوَنِ ٱللَّهِ فَمَا رَعَوْهَا حَقَّ رِعَايَتِهَا ۖ
فَـَٔاتَيْنَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ مِنْهُمْ أَجْرَهُمْ ۖ
وَكَثِيرٌۭ مِّنْهُمْ فَسِقُونَ
And We followed with Isa, son of Maryam, and We gave him the Injeel.
And We placed in the hearts of those who followed him compassion and mercy.
But monasticism they innovated - not that We prescribed it for them – they invented it themselves only seeking the Pleasure of Allah,
but then they did not observe with right observance.
So We gave those who believed among them their reward, but most of them are defiantly disobediently.
Surah Al Hadeed, Verse 27
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa: And after We caused them to be followed by…
Bi Isa ibn e Maryam: with the Prophet Isa (as) son of Maryam and we gave him the Injeel (Bible) and succored him with the Holy Spirit (Hazrat Gibrael (as))…
Wa: with perfected cleansing of him and nobility in his family and his behaviour…
Ja’alna fi quloobi illadina attaba’uhu: and We placed in their hearts, of those who followed him and believed in him and practiced his religion…
Rafa’tan: softness, affection and kindness, to the extent that they forgave murderers and did not fight with the ones who cursed them and those who were physically violent…
Wa rahmatan: and mercy, so they were merciful because of it with all of Allah’s Servants.
Wa: And because the intensity of their love and attachment with Allah by their connection with Him, they invented…
Rahbaaniatan: monasticism and transgressed the limits of worship to the extent that they wouldn’t eat and they wouldn’t drink for days at a time and never married and did not meet people and instead made their abodes in the heights of mountains and in caves and indeed…
Ibtadauha: they introduced it making it up from their own selves without any approval from Our Side because…
Ma katabnaha: We didn’t prescribe monasticism for them and We did not make it obligatory and We did not compel them towards it…
Alaihim: upon them in their religion and in their books but they didn’t choose it…
Illa abtigha’a ridwan illahe: except that they were seeking Allah’s Pleasure and were desiring of acquiring it and despite this…
Fama rauha haqqa ri’ayatiha: the monasticism did not match with their religion and their books because they disbelieved Muhammad (peace be upon him) even though he was the greatest credence in their religion and their books so they left that belief and didn’t recognize him knowingly with ignorance and obstinacy…
Fa’atayna alladina aamano: so We gave those who believed in Muhammad (peace be upon him)…
Minhum ajrahum: the reward of their faith and of their deeds multiplying them many times which they deserved because of those deeds…
Wa katheerum minhum fasiqoon: and most of them were defiantly disobedient, the ones who left the demand of their religion and their books by the denial of Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Uzair: “So Allah says about the Christians, not only do they feel empathy, the followers of the Prophet Jesus (as), they do something about it. Even in His Anger He points out the kindness they possess. Then He says they become ascetics which He did not oblige upon them. Then again even in that criticism, He says they did it thinking they could gain My Pleasure. But then they could not carry the burden of the act.
So coming back to the essence of the verses. forgive people and their mistakes, their shortcomings. Don’t just accept the goodness of their nature, highlight it.”
Subhan Allah!
The point Uzair wanted to make finally came;
“So if Allah has this approach for worship and deeds, giving the best ajr, reward, looking for the best of them, then will it not be the case that if we attach our beings, our own selves to those considered best by him, then by the blessings bestowed upon them, we will also become better and then best? If most mediocre deeds can be made perfect, then why won’t ordinary people be rendered extraordinary?”
The lecture had motivated me to contact those who had been acting crazy. We had been out of touch without animosity but weeks had gone by. In my usual haste, I made contact only to be rebuffed. Again! I felt bad. Iblis whispered words that made me feel slighted. My nafs felt wounded. It had been a while since that happened so I was taken aback by the emotions. They were all negative and draining.
For two nights I suffered. But then I came out of it because of the attempt to remind myself that they were my loved ones. And I was theirs. What I didn’t control so well was my tongue if I spoke about them. I would use sarcasm and berate them. They were just words not really my feelings. But that was exactly what made me insincere. I would know that as I saw them coming out of my mouth and entering my ears. It was pure reaction that was entirely habitual.
And then I came upon these words in the Tafseer e Tustari;
[6:152] …And if you speak, be just...
وَإِذَا قُلْتُمْ فَٱعْدِلُوا۟
And when you speak then be just.
Surah Al An’am, Verse 152
Hazrat Sahel (ra) said: “The people of veracity (ṣidq) speak in four ways: they speak in God, through God, for God or with God. There are other people who speak to themselves and for themselves, and so they are preserved from the evil of speech.
Yet other people speak about others and forget themselves, and so they innovate and go astray. Wretched is that which they have produced for themselves!
So abandon speech for knowledge, and then only speak when it is necessary, and you will be preserved from the ills of speech. What is meant [by ‘when it is necessary’] is that you should not speak unless you are afraid that you will otherwise fall into sin.
Then he said: Whoever makes a [false] assumption (ẓann) will be deprived of certainty, and whoever speaks about that which does not concern him will be deprived of veracity.”
That’s where I was landing more than anything. I found that badgumani, feeling mistrust towards others, almost always wrongly, was the most major bane of my nafs. That was the downside of being sensitive. I guess that is how I was depriving myself of certainty.
The narration I chose for my video to mark Imam Ali’s (as) birth is recorded in every tafseer of any merit; The blessed Imam (as) gives a silver ring he is wearing to a person asking for alms in the Masjid e Nabawi. He is mid-prayer in the position of ruku’, when one bends at right angles to the hip, touching their hands upon their knees. The verse that marks his gesture and the incident ends with the identifier of who it is revealed for; wa hum ra’kioon – they are the ones who give charity while they bow in prayer in ruku.’
The closing line of the video was a quote by the Imam (as) about his condition in every prayer;
لم اعبد ربا لم اره
“Never did I pray before The Lord who raised me
without seeing Him.”
I couldn’t stop marveling about what he said and how it connected to the giving of his alms precisely in the moment that he was seeing God. Then diverting himself from that seeing to loosen a ring and drop it from his finger for someone seeking charity. Because the ask was in His Name.
Was it any wonder that the act was purifying, that the Quran states to be the means of gaining forgiveness through the prayer of The Beloved (peace be upon him) which brought with it cleansing and purification, dignity, inner peace, calmness, tranquility for the heart, steadfastness in Tauheed and imaan. It’s true, there is no Bestower like Allah when He is Al Wahhab!
In one of my recent Quran classes at my cousins’ place, Danoo had told us all something that blew everyone away. As best as I can recall it, she said that they were those amongst Mankind who were bestowed the nazar, gaze of The Beloved (peace be upon him) such that Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) allowed them to see him in certain moments of his life.
Time travel has already been confirmed by many Spiritual Masters of the day as the miracle of the awaited last Imam, Mehdi (ra), but it always existed for all the Friends of God.
“So someone was able to see Huzoor (peace be upon him) in a sitting with his companions or perhaps in a signing of a treaty or in a state of travel or anything. It was Huzoor’s (peace be upon him) gift to them.”
Almost everyone in the room had let out a cry of the deepest envy. It was beyond anyone’s imagination that such a thing could occur. I had been thinking about what I would have liked to have seen. The list was long. High on it for me was the splitting of the moon. I was taken by the incident even though I didn’t want to see or hear the infidels backtracking on their word and denying its happening while it unfolded in front of their eyes.
But I did want to see the moon separate from itself at his beckon. I wanted to see him step away from the pulpit to take Imam Hassan (as) and Imam Hussain (as) into his arms when they entered the Mosque while he was giving a sermon. I wanted to see him sit with his friends, the four of them, around the well in Medina to tell them they would all have houses near his in Paradise. I would be mesmerized by the way he greeted his most beloved child, Bibi Fatima (as), when she came to see him. I would have loved to see him enter Mecca, 13 years after being made to flee the city under threat to his life, the heads of all his enemies bowed in fear and trepidation, his own head bowed as well despite being the victor, out of pure humility to his Lord for granting him such a victory.
My list was endless indeed.
From Imam Ali’s (as) life, I would have liked to have seen, again amongst many things, the incident of the ring. The tafseer of the verse was this for the video from the Tafseer e Jilani was superb;
إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ
وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَهُمْ رَاكِعُونَ
Innama walliyyukum Allah: Only Allah is your Friend, The One who is in charge of your matters as related to all kinds of ordinary love…
Wa Rasooluhu: and so is His Messenger (peace be upon him), who is His Vice-regent second to Him, also in charge of your matters…
Walladina aamano: and those who brought faith in Allah with a love made special because of their following the Prophet (peace be upon him) and they…
Alladina yuqeemoona: are the ones who are forever…
As salata: in prayer that brings one close to Allah’s Essence…
And yu’toona az zakata: and they give charity which cleanses their hearts from focus on anything other than Allah…
Wa: in the state of…
Hum rak’ioon: ruku,’ bowing in their prayers, with humility.
Surah Al Maidah, Verse 55
The line made me look up something I had read months ago in the Tafseer e Tustari and no doubt quoted in a piece along the way;
Hazrat Sahl (ra) was asked about the words of the Prophet , ‘Seeking knowledge is an obligation (farīḍa) for every Muslim’.
He said, ‘This refers to the knowledge of [one’s]state (ḥāl).’
He was asked, ‘What is the knowledge of [one’s] state?’
Sahl (ra) replied: Inwardly it is sincerity (ikhlāṣ) and outwardly it is emulation (iqtidāʾ). Moreover, unless a person’s outward [self] (ẓāhir) is leading his inner [self] (bāṭin), and his inner self is the perfection (kamāl) of his outward self, he will merely be fatiguing his body.
Mālik b. Anas alluded to this point when he said, ‘Knowledge is not just about how much you can relate [from memory] (riwāya) but rather knowledge is a light that God places within the heart.’
He [Sahl] was asked, ‘How can a man recognise his state (ḥāl) and act upon it?’
He replied: “When you speak, your state is that of speech, and when you observe silence, your state is that of silence. When you stand your state is that of standing, and when you sit your state is that of sitting. [To have] knowledge of your state you should see whether it is for God or for other than Him. If it is for God you may settle in it, but if it is for other than Him you should abandon it.
This is the act of taking account of oneself (muḥāsaba) which ʿUmar enjoined when he said, ‘Call yourselves to account before you are called to account, and weigh yourselves up before you are weighed up…’ Indeed, ʿUmar used to beat his chest while calling himself to account.’”
The day I decided to end the piece was extraordinary. It was a Sunday. I was taking a friend visiting from the States for the best doughnuts in town and a street food lunch called a Bun Plaster. Towards the end she said she wanted to go by Daata Sahib’s (ra). It was the oldest and most revered shrine of the city and the Sub-continent, almost a 1,000 in existence. Her niece was driving the car and my first thought was, “Without a driver?”
The shrine is located in the inner city of Lahore and the place is always densely crowded. “Why not,” everyone else said. I knew Shaan had been dying to go there since I met him. He was wearing a baseball cap, black jeans that were always sliding down his waist, a shirt and jacket. The other thought that entered my mind was “How will we get Shaan to wear a veil to go inside?”
When we reached the entrance of the shrine, we basically breezed through security. One woman came running after us as if she had had an afterthought that a boy was coming into the women’s section. “Boy or girl?” she said pointing at Shaan. I was only too familiar with the question personally.
“Girl,” I said confidently. Shaan unzipped his jacket and let him pat her down. That was it. No one cared about the veil. He didn’t even take his hat off the whole time. We went in, placed flowers and prayed Maghrib with the congregation. I listened intently to the verses the Qari recited in the first two raka’t. Both were most beautiful.
The first ended with one of the most ma’roof lines of the Quran;
وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِّلْعَالَمِين
And did We not send you (O Beloved saw) except as a mercy for the Universe
and all that exists within it
Surah Al-Anbiya, Verse 107
My heart soared. The verse read aloud in the second raka’t had the same effect.
ٱرْجِعِىٓ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكِ رَاضِيَةًۭ مَّرْضِيَّةًۭ
فَٱدْخُلِى فِى عِبَدِى
وَٱدْخُلِى جَنَّتِى
Return to your Lord well pleased, and pleasing.
so enter then together with My Servants
and enter My Paradise.
Surah Al Fajr, Verse 89
We distributed cauldrons of food on our way to the car. We did everything one is meant to do! As we drove back, I told the younger kids about the verse`s we had prayed to. They listened silently. Shaan was quiet. When he did speak, he broke into extemporaneous poetry in Urdu. He always did that when he was excited. It never made sense to anyone except me who now knew him.
The first Coke Studio track in a year and a half had been released that morning. It was phenomenal; a beautiful duet by Naseebo Lal and Abeda Parveen. A woman who was unknown and supposedly from the humblest of backgrounds in Lahore, dirt poor, paired with the most important female Sufi artist of the continent, if not the world. All of us in the car from age 21 to 55 were moved by the sound of the music. It was one of those rare tracks that make the eyes cry and the heart soar.
The best thing about being cut off from the world, literally, because of the absence of being perpetually connected to the internet, is missing out on the bad news. And then the detail of the bad news. Many, including children, had recently died because of being stuck in snow in a hill station families had driven to just to see the snowfall. People kept talking about photos they couldn’t get out of their minds and the behaviour of hotel owners who had raised tariffs so much overnight that people had opted to sleep in their cars and therefore frozen to death.
I only knew about the incident because I saw a headline in Yahoo when I exited my mail. Luckily all I was thinking about was how the Person of the Shrine was the only one who decided what happened to those who came to him because there was a bulawa, invite, for them. Shaan, a 47 year old female, dressed like a 14 year old boy, had been welcomed with just a single question that had been posed to me my whole life. And not just in Lahore!
It made me think of the verse that all Honour belongs to Allah.
مَن كَانَ يُرِيدُ ٱلْعِزَّةَ فَلِلَّهِ ٱلْعِزَّةُ جَمِيعًاۚ إِلَيْهِ يَصْعَدُ ٱلْكَلِمُ ٱلطَّيِّبُ وَٱلْعَمَلُ ٱلصَّلِحُ يَرْفَعُهُۚۥ
Whoever desires for himself honor, (should know) then for Allah (alone) is all the Honor.
To Him ascends the good words, and righteous deeds raises it.
Surah Fatir, Verse 10
Tafseer e Jilani:
Man kana yureed ul izzata: The one who wants honour, endless, after which never comes humiliation ever, then he should turn towards Allah and makes his focus His One-ness.
Fa lillahe izzatu: For only Allah is the True Owner of Honour, which includes control, eternal majesty and all kingdoms…
Jami-an: overt (zahiri) and inner (batini). And the one who desires that Allah bestow upon him honour and control and absolute kingdoms and abundance that remains forever, then he should, in his initial stages toward Allah, praise Him by way of His Perfect Names and Exalted Attributes till his remembrance reaches the stages of their reflection in him.
This (the reflection) is the last effort and then he becomes a reflector of Allah’s Being, wanting to unveil the Veils of His Omnipotence, till he becomes present before Him, able to unveil Him and witness the Signs of His Names and Attributes on the surface of the Universe without the distortion created by others.
And overall (in summary), the one who seeks honour should be occupied in the Remembrance by Allah in the early stages because
Ilayhi yasadu alkalm at tayyabu: towards Him ascend good words which are the Prefect Names of Allah and His Exalted Attributes, increasing in frequency from the tongues of The Sincere and The Ones who Reflect in Allah’s Blessings and His Bounty…
Wal al amal as saleh: and (they should be occupied) in good deeds joined with ikhlas, sincerity and tabbatul, devotion to Him (also ascending towards Him)…
Yarfa’uhu: (which will be why) He then raises that deed founded upon sincerity and those good words allowing them to reach towards the stages of Closeness with Allah. So for the one whose sincerity in his deed is perfect, then the ranks of his words, which are raised towards Allah Subhanahu, are the highest and the most supreme to Him.
It was astonishing that link; the sincerity of my deeds being behind my tasbeeh of His Names reaching Him.
Just a few days after the visit to Daata Sahib (ra) I realized that Shaan was just a human being. Not perfected spirituality (albeit only in certain aspects) that I had made him out to be because he lived in a park. Because he had been homeless. Because he was alone. Because he possessed exactly nothing. Because he was attached to nothing. Because no one except God cared about him. He was simply human. He possessed the duality in his nature like everyone else. He felt anger and fear. He expressed resentment and envy.
The issue that unmasked his fragility was one that everyone faces. When his behaviour changed I discussed it with Qari Sahib. He said it was natural and it had to be waited out.
“Everyone needs time to heal,” he said. “From an old wound or a new one. Give it time.”
It was my fault anyway as usual. I had made Shaan out to be super human. He was not. His being alone had just made his idiosyncrasies more intense than other people’s. Being on the spectrum added its own layer on top of that. It had to be borne to see where he might land. Wherever that was, I would have to deal with it then.
In the beginning though when all options pointed towards him having to leave, I felt a deep anguish. I prayed and prayed and cried in those prayers. “Please God,” I begged, “Let Shaan become the way he was. Let him be happy and let his heart be calm and devoid of that which makes him now different.” I don’t believe I prayed that hard for a reversal in someone’s nature in my entire life. Even though he was not blood, he was not a friend.
The experience taught me something extremely important one day at Fajr when I lay in bed holding my tasbeeh, about to spin its beads. Every single thing and every single person in one’s life is an amanat of Allah. Everything is a bestowing, therefore it is only in a safe-keeping. There is no possession as such of anything. Nothing and no one belongs to anyone, except God.
It was like the second line in the video from the kalam. It was part of the tarana and everyone assumed it was just sounds that had no meaning. But they had meaning and it was the deepest meaning ever;
ہم تم تا نا نا نا، تا نانا رے
I reflect You,
I am yours,
I belong to You.
That night when I prayed Isha’ a thought came into my mind. Knowledge is a city, Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) says. He is that city, Madinat ul Ilm. But entrance into any city is through its door. And the Imam (as), he said, is that Bab oha, its Door. My learning about the faith before going to him in Iraq was like watching things from a drone; flying above but never being inside it.
It wasn’t until I arrived at that Door that my learning changed from the reading and listening and writing of words and edged somewhat slightly towards deed. Which incidentally is the third cure for a heart being shred to pieces from the onslaught of doubt and paranoia. For deed, says Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) is the path from which Satan, when he sees it, leaves. Deed, said the Imam (as), was what would bear witness to his faith. And faith, as I was made to learn in no uncertain terms, imaan, was nothing except the prize for the emulation of Allah’s Beloved (peace be upon him).
Hence for every act there was really only one deed. Just like for every path that lead to spirituality, there was only one door.
In the Tafseer e Jilani, Ghaus Pak (ra) writes again and again about the the verses of Paradise under which flow rivers. Those rivers are of ma’raifat, the Recognition of Allah Subhanahu, specifically three; Ilm ul Yaqeen, the Knowledge of Certainty, Ayn ul Yaqeen, the Witnessing of Certainty, Haq ul Yaqeen, the Truth of Knowledge.
إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّلِحَتِ يَهْدِيهِمْ رَبُّهُم بِإِيمَنِهِمْ ۖ
تَجْرِى مِن تَحْتِهِمُ ٱلْأَنْهَرُ فِى جَنَّتِ ٱلنَّعِيمِ
Indeed, those who believed and did good deeds, Allah will guide them by that faith.
Underneath them will flow the rivers in Gardens of Delight.
Surah Yunus, Verse 9
Tafseer e Jilani
Then said Allah Subhanahu, Exalted is He, according to His Way as it is always, when comes after admonishment glad tidings and vice versa…
Innalladina aamino: indeed, they who attained to faith in Allah and His Tauheed, One-ness…
Wa amilo salihaat: and they did good deeds as commanded by Him to better their states…
Yahdihim Rabbohum: their Lord will guide them towards the cosmos of His Tauheed…
Bi imaanihim: by their faith and their Ilm Yaqeeni, certainty of the Divine, that comes from knowledge…
Tajri min tahtahi mul anhaar: from rivers that flow beneath their feet i.e. streams of Ma’arif, Recognition of God and sprouting purls of the Truth of His Reality from the Ocean of His One-ness, with the colours of Ayn al Yaqeen, The Witnessing of Divine Certainty and Al Haq, the Truth of Divine Certainty…
Fi Jannaatin Naeem: i.e. they will be forever placed in the realm of these spiritual pleasures.
I started celebrating the month of Rajab at its advent. Like I do with Rabul Awwal, the month of the blessed birth of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) and the month of Rabbu Thani, the month of the birth of Ghaus Pak (ra). This year a bunch of my friends sent money to partake in the distribution of food with me mostly because they were deeply affected by the verse about charity bringing them the prayer of Allah’s Beloved (peace be upon him).
Then I started a prayer I have only said once before in my life. When I secluded myself for three days in Ramadan, also only once in my life. It was a prayer favoured by the Imam (as), two nafal reading Surak Ikhlas a 100 times in each rak’at. It was not lost on me, the name of the Surah, sincerity, that it was the Surah of Tauheed, One-ness.
It was a distracted utterance, except for the beginning but it was joyous. Before I started I said a prayer for myself that I had just learnt from the Hazrat Yousuf (as), the Prophet Joseph.
رَبِّ قَدْ ءَاتَيْتَنِى مِنَ ٱلْمُلْكِ وَعَلَّمْتَنِى مِن تَأْوِيلِ ٱلْأَحَادِيثِ ۚ
فَاطِرَ ٱلسَّمَوَتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ أَنتَ وَلِىِّۦ
فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا وَٱلْءَاخِرَةِ ۖ
تَوَفَّنِى مُسْلِمًۭا وَأَلْحِقْنِى بِٱلصَّلِحِينَ
My Lord, indeed, you have given of the sovereignty and taught me of the interpretation of the events.
Creator of the heavens and the earth, You are my Protector, in the world and the Hereafter. Cause me to die as a Muslim, and join me with the righteous."
Hazrat Yusuf, Verse 101
Tafseer e Jilani
Then prayed Hazrat Yousuf (as) for himself and he said softly to his Lord, a prayer, that uttered from him only with wisdom, intellect and reasoning, with his invocation:
Rabbi: O my Lord who raises me, by Your Unmerited Affection and Your Bounty, with different kinds of guidance and favour that you have granted me…
Qad Aataytani: indeed You bestowed upon me and blessed me…
Min al mulk: from the Overt Kingdom i.e. the Kingship which is concerned with the realm of the existing world…
Wa allamtani min taaweel il hadeeth: and You taught me the interpretation of matters i.e. extracting conclusions from the events which happen in this world to what is in the Realm of the Unseen and its true explanation.
Faatir is samawat e wal ard: O One who created the heavens and the Earth i.e. the Realm of Allah’s Names, the reflection of which are the disappearing shadows apparent…
Anta: You are by Your Own Self, after you made me steadfast in Your One-ness and You disclosed to me Your Tauheed, that One-ness, and lifted the veils between me and it…
Walliya: You are my Supporter and The Controller of my affairs and The One who keeps my secrets…
Fi duniya wal akhira: in this world and the Hereafter i.e. in this life and the Afterlife…
Tawwafini: make me die and take my soul…
Muslim-an: surrendering, entrusting all my matters to you…
Walhiqni: and join me, with Your Special Favour…
Bi saliheen: with the righteous ones who are the ones who reformed their selves in this life and the Hereafter until they achieved success from You with the honour of meeting You.
For the second time I noted how the word salih was connected to reforming of one’s state, bettering it. It was markedly prominent in a line from the namaz which Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) uttered after Allah Subhanahu sends Salam upon him, thus bringing others into the Peace that Allah was bestowing upon him alone:
As-Salamu 'Alayna wa 'Ala 'Ibad-Allah-is-Saliheen
Peace be upon us and on the Righteous Servant of Allah.
It was almost always translated as righteous but Ghaus Pak (ra) was saying that the Saliheen were those who were in a perpetual state of reforming. Hazrat Yousuf’s (as), a Prophet’s invocation, was about being made to die in surrender and being joined with the ones who continue to reform themselves.
At sunset when the month started I was googling different things to gain more information on Rajab to preface my first email to my friends. Then I came across this:
The Imam Abdul Qadir Jilani (ra) said:
رجب شھر الزرع و شعبان شھر السقی و رمضان شھر الحصاد
و کل یحصد ما زرع و یجزی ما صنع
و من ضیع الزراعۃ ندم یوم حصادہ و احلف ظنہ مع سوء معادہ
Rajab is the month for sowing seeds, Sha’ban is the month for watering, and Ramadan is the month for reaping.
And all reap what they sow
and will be rewarded for what they did.
And the one who wasted the (season of) planting regretted it on the day of harvest
and found it to be against what he thought would be the result.
I was blown away by his words. That the cycle bore fruit in just 90 days!
For two nights I thought and thought about what seeds to plant and could not figure out what I should choose. Scholars had a singular take on what that seed should be; of worship. But worship was a function of ability granted. Meanwhile, my nafs only steered me in one direction; towards those I knew who were willfully absent. Because their hearts were shredded.
“Plant seeds of love for them,” it said to me earnestly, not with deceit. “Maybe they will come back.” I could almost hear the hope it felt, the need it was feeling for that return. I didn’t say anything. Then I started asking my Lord who raises me to choose my seeds for me.
The next day I went to the shrine of Hazrat Pir Turat Murad Shah (ra) in the park. I sat next to his blessed grave reading the Names of Allah and Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) that had just been put up inside it in a recent renovation.
Those Names of theirs that were His Manifestations in the Universe, His Signs and what paved the way towards Him.
I thought about my youth and how my seeds of love burst forth with the most gorgeous bloom in my early life when I was a seed myself. For decades we only flourished and grew more beautiful. In one decade alone everything began to wilt. No one knew that it was what became the state of the soul when it felt lonely. Or was it the nafs? It was as if the sun disappeared and water vanished.
I prayed and in the prayer I had a thought and in the thought I saw the seeds I wanted to sow. A seed for steadfastness in Tauheed, a seed of the deepest love for The Beloved (peace be upon him), a seed of wishing to be informed of the beings of who were the Saliheen who had been informed of Allah Subhanahu’s Essence by Him as the success granted to them for reforming themselves. And then, lastly, a seed for the ones I loved in the world. This time without names and faces and memories of a past that would never return. Not pegged with desire for reigniting what had turned to cold ashes. Just seeds, just love.
Then after weeks of not even opening Ghaus Pak’s (ra) Al Fath Ar Rabbani, the next night I lay in bed unable to sleep. I decided to read a line. The line that came was very familiar to me. It was a well known, hadith of Nabi Pak (peace be upon him):
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
الدُّنْيَا سِجْنُ الْمُؤْمِنِ
“The world is a prison for the believer.”
As someone who feels entrapped in the world, I felt like the hadith made me a Mo’min sometimes. But then came the explanation of the words;
Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “The world is a prison for the Mo’min. Thus when he will forget that prison, only then will he gain freedom for it.”
One line is all I had read and I had to pause. So it wasn’t about being attached to the world, being drawn to it, attracted to it, that made it a prison. It was the same entrapment for the one thinking everything about it was torment. For that meant that one was not forgetting it at all. Thus it was not freedom from it.
I realized how exactly the notion applied to people and attachment to them. Not one iota of any association lessened because of thinking badly of them or feeling unhappy because of them. It seemed to appear to be worse than being connected to them with happiness. At least that was not negative. For the tongue or the heart. The world was a prison for anyone aware of it.
My sighs just kept getting deeper!
Al Fath Ar Rabbani: “Those who attain to faith are in that prison (of the world) while those who gain ma’rifa, Recognition of Allah Subhanahu, are in a state of intoxication. Therefore they are entirely unaware of that prison because indeed, their Lord has made them sip the Drink of His Love for Him, and the Drink of His Affection for Him, and the Drink of His Desire for Him and the Drink of obliviousness from Creation and are only mindful of Him so they became detached from the prison and its inmates.”
Subhan Allah!
And once again my perception of myself, where I was at, what I thought, was turned upside down. The most massive revelation it bore for me what my usage of the word that meant the most to me all of my life; “love.” In the blooming decades I had used it rarely and therefore only sincerely with unquestionable devotion. It took me years for my tongue to utter it for the first time to anyone. I think I must have been well into my 20s. I don’t think I ever said it face to face to my mother or sister who died or my brother who is alive.
But in this decade of wilting, I overused it constantly. Mostly I echoed others until I started copying them and initiating it. Sometimes I thought it might make a bridge between those and myself who felt so far apart. But it was no longer true except in its desire to be true. It became just another word without meaning.
The Sufis say that the first movement of the Universe was love. Because Allah loved to be known.
كُنتُ كنزاً مَخفياً فأحببتُ أن أُعْرَف فخَلَقتُ الخَلْقَ لكي أُعرف
I, Allah, was a Treasure Hidden so I loved to be known
Therefore I created Creation so that I will be known.
Ahbabtu – “Loved”, not wanted to be known!
In my translation of another verse from Surah Yunus, I had learnt about the metaphysics of Creation and in it again was the word, love.
Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra): So Allah called His Servants from Divine Knowledge (al ilm) towards existence (al wujood) by blowing His Breath and it is His saying:
فَإِذَا سَوَّيْتُهُۥ وَنَفَخْتُ فِيهِ مِن رُّوحِى
So, when I have fashioned him and I breathed into him of My Spirit.
Surah Al Hijr, Verse 29
And He invites them from existence (al wujood) towards nothingness (al adam) and Divine Knowledge with love and it His saying:
ٱرْجِعِىٓ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكِ رَاضِيَةًۭ
Return to your Lord well pleased,
Surah Al Fajr, Verse 28
Qari Sahib was the one who had pointed it out: “Do you see how from nothingness to existence the impetus is the Breath of Allah and in the end of time, from existence to nothingness, the impetus is Allah’s Jazba, His Love.”
It was strange. So much about the Day of Judgement was about fear and loud trumpets and the skies rolling as if wrapping up a stage. And here it was said, Allah invited the nafs back to it with love.
And at 51 I no longer knew nothing about it!
So on the 2nd of Rabaj, I changed my fourth seed. I didn’t know how to plant seeds of love. I didn’t know what that meant in the ever changing context of life. So I decided to take a step back. I went to Nabi Kareem’s (peace be upon him) hadith;
عن جابر بن عبد الله قال : لما نزلت سورة "براءة" قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم :
بعثت بمداراة الناس
From Jābir b. ʿAbd Allāh (may God be pleased with them all), that he reported that when Sūrat Barāʾa (Tauba) was sent down, the Messenger of God said,
“I was sent to treat people with affability (mudārāt).”
In another hadith though he had used the word love and it was in relation to imaan, faith.
“The Momin is the one who loves and is loved.
And there is no goodness for the one who does not give love and receive love. The best amongst people is the one who gives others benefit.”
Then I was jumping up and down about how I had perceived it. Everyone wanted to love and be loved. Therefore everyone must be a Mo’min. Now it revealed to me that the state of being Mo’min was fluid. I loved and was loved intensely in my youth. I gave and received love happily. With sincerely, with certainty. I wasn’t praying much but was I a Mo’min then?
Rajab makes every single deed a seed. And makes mindfulness not a word but an existence in constancy. As much as I focus on what I do want to sow, I became aware of what I do not. For that too would end up bearing fruit. Bitter! I was being made aware of seeds planted from ages ago that were now just weeds taking up space and nutrients, taking up what plants needed in terms of light and water. I now knew it was the love that they sucked out first. That’s what caused them to begin to wither and die. Rajab was indeed a game-changer!
I even asked Qari Sahib about the last line of Ghaus Pak (ra), what it meant to have the opposite result.
“If you sow seeds of ingratitude, knowingly or unknowingly, or of being angry or being heedless, or uncharitable then what will happen come Ramadan is that you will have no desire to worship, or you will waste the chance to give to others, which is what the month is only and only for.”
It was decided; affability would be my fourth seed. Strangely enough the one seed that had to do with Creation might be the one that bears the least results. For I would not be taking initiatives. But when moments appeared, and they were already starting to, I could practice patience and gentleness, friendliness and warmth. For those were prerequisites. There wasn’t any need for gestures behind which lay murky intentions, convoluted. The need for pursuit was eliminated.
As the days progressed, on the 7th of Rajab, I found that my mindfulness, which always and only always emerged after the fact, after I had wronged, after I had erred, changed the timing of its appearance. For the first time I saw myself before I did something. The interactions were repetitive as was my behaviour in them despite everything. And suddenly, I paused before I spoke so as to not regret it immediately after.
And this was how I began, yet again, the process of entrusting my matters, all of them, as they related to ordinary love, to the ones who were in reality my only friends; Allah Subhanahu wa Rusooluhu (peace be upon him) and those who give charity, which cleanses the heart from focus on anything except Him, in the state of bowing in their prayers with humility.
The Echos! of the letter 'dhal' in end of every sentence of surah Ikhlas. 'Allahu ahAD', 'Allahus samAD', 'lam.... youlAD', 'walam..... ahAD'!!! Echoes towards the heavens the 'The Purity'.
norkandirblog.wordpress.com/2016/09/01/7-kiat-sukses-shal...
7 Kiat Sukses Shalat Shubuh Berjamaah
7 Kiat Sukses Shalat Shubuh Berjamaah
Banyak orang ingin shalat Shubuh berjamaah di masjid tetapi sering keblabasan bangunnya dan tak jarang bangun kesiangan. Lantas apa kiat bangun Shubuh? Di antara kiat bangun Shubuh yang mujarab adalah sebagai berikut:
Memiliki ‘Azam (Tekad Kuat) Untuk Bangun Shubuh
Tanpa keinginan dan tekad yang kuat ini mustahil orang mau bangun, ibarat mengkhayal kenyang tapi malas makan. Diriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu bahwa Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda:
«الْمُؤْمِنُ الْقَوِيُّ، خَيْرٌ وَأَحَبُّ إِلَى اللهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِ الضَّعِيفِ، وَفِي كُلٍّ خَيْرٌ احْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ، وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللهِ وَلَا تَعْجَزْ»
“Mukmin kuat lebih baik dan lebih dicintai Allah daripada mukmin lemah tetapi masing-masing sama baik. Bersemangatlah atas apa yang bermanfaat bagimu dan minta pertolongan kepada Allah dan jangan lemah.” (HR. Muslim no. 2664)
Syaikh Fuad Abdulbaqi menjelaskan, “Makna kuat di sini adalah azimatun nafsi (jiwa yang kuat tekadnya) dan jangan lemah dalam ketaatan dan tidak lupa meminta pertolongan Allah.” (Ta’liq Shahih Muslim IV/2052)
Berdoa kepada Allah
Selalu ingat bahwa tidak ada apapun yang terjadi besok melainkan atas takdir dan kehendak Allah. Jadi jangan bosan berdoa kepada Allah dan meminta pertolongan-Nya agar berkenan membantunya bangun Shubuh. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala berfirman:
«وَمَا رَمَيْتَ إِذْ رَمَيْتَ وَلَكِنَّ اللَّهَ رَمَى»
“Bukan kamu yang melempar ketika kamu melempar, tetapi Allah-lah yang melempar.” (QS. Al-Anfal [8]: 17)
Tidur Lebih Awal
Kebiasaan Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam tidur setelah shalat Isya jika tidak ada keperluan. Diriwayatkan dari Abi Barzah, beliau berkata:
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ كَانَ يَكْرَهُ النَّوْمَ قَبْلَ الْعِشَاءِ وَالْحَدِيثَ بَعْدَهَا
“Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam membenci tidur sebelum shalat ‘Isya dan ngobrol-ngobrol setelahnya.” (HR. Al-Bukhari no. 568)
Ibnu Baththal menjelaskan, “Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam tidak suka begadang setelah shalat ‘Isya karena beliau sangat ingin melaksanakan shalat malam dan khawatir jika sampai luput dari shalat Shubuh berjama’ah. ‘Umar bin al-Khaththab sampai memukul orang yang begadang setelah shalat Isya, beliau mengatakan, ‘Apakah kalian sekarang begadang di awal malam, nanti di akhir malam tertidur lelap?’” (Syarhul Bukhari III/278)
Orang yang tidurnya cukup seringnya bisa bangun Shubuh dan orang yang tidurnya lebih awal lebih sering lagi.
Wudhu Sebelum Tidur
Sekilas memang sepertinya tidak berhubungan, tetapi sebenarnya justru hal ini sangat membantu. Selalu ingat bahwa kita hidup tidak hanya melihat kejadian nyata tetapi juga kejadian di luar penglihatan kita. Orang yang wudhu hati dan jasadnya bersih sehingga lebih siap bangun dan malaikat akan membantunya. Diriwayatkan dari Abdullah bin ‘Umar radliyallaahu ‘anhuma bahwa Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda:
«مَنْ بَاتَ طَاهِرًا، بَاتَ فِي شِعَارِهِ مَلَكٌ، فَلَمْ يَسْتَيْقِظْ إِلَّا قَالَ الْمَلَكُ: اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِعَبْدِكَ فُلَانٍ، فَإِنَّهُ بَاتَ طَاهِرًا»
“Barangsiapa yang tidur dalam keadaan suci, maka malaikat akan bersamanya di dalam pakaiannya. Dia tidak akan bangun hingga malaikat berdoa ‘Ya Allah, ampunilah hamba-Mu si fulan karena tidur dalam keadaan suci.’” (HR. Ibn Hibban 3/329 dan dinilai shahih oleh Syaikh Syuaib al-Arnauth dan Syaikh al-Albani)
Menerapkan Adab-Adab Menjelang Tidur
Di antara adab-adabnya seperti membaca doa bismika, al-Ikhlas dan mu’awwidzatain, ayat kursi, atau doa shahih lainnya. Misalnya doa yang diriwayatkan oleh al-Barra’ bin Azib radhiyallahu ‘anhu, Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda, “Apabila engkau hendak tidur, berwudhulah sebagaimana wudhu ketika hendak shalat. Kemudian berbaringlah miring ke kanan, dan bacalah:
«اللَّهُمَّ أَسْلَمْتُ وَجْهِي إِلَيْكَ، وَفَوَّضْتُ أَمْرِي إِلَيْكَ، وَأَلْجَأْتُ ظَهْرِي إِلَيْكَ، رَغْبَةً وَرَهْبَةً إِلَيْكَ، لَا مَلْجَأَ وَلَا مَنْجَا مِنْكَ إِلَّا إِلَيْكَ، اللَّهُمَّ آمَنْتُ بِكِتَابِكَ الَّذِي أَنْزَلْتَ، وَبِنَبِيِّكَ الَّذِي أَرْسَلْتَ»
‘Ya Allah, aku tundukkan wajahku kepada-Mu, aku pasrahkan urusanku kepada-Mu, aku sandarkan punggungku kepada-Mu, karena rasa takut dan penuh harap kepada-Mu. Tidak ada tempat berlindung dan menyelamatkan diri dari hukuman-Mu kecuali kepada-Mu. Ya Allah, aku beriman kepada kitab-Mu yang telah Engkau turunkan, dan kepada Nabi-Mu yang telah Engkau utus.’
Jika kamu mati di malam itu, kamu mati dalam keadaan fitrah. Jadikanlah doa itu sebagai kalimat terakhir yang engkau ucapkan sebelum tidur.” (HR. Al-Bukhari no. 247 dan Muslim no. 2710)
Biasanya orang yang suci dan usai beribadah akan mudah untuk ibadah berikutnya. Dengan kata lain orang yang menerapkan adab tidur islami memungkinkan akan memudahkan dirinya untuk bangun Shubuh.
Memanfaatkan Gadget
Di masa sekarang hampir semua orang memiliki gadget (HP/Smartphone/Tablet) baik android maupun lainnya. Ini bisa dimanfaatkan dengan memasang aplikasi alarm atau jadwal waktu shalat sehingga membantunya untuk bangun lebih awal.
Kerjasama antar Anggota Keluarga
Diusahakan tidak tidur sendirian dan memang dibenci demikian. Seorang suami tidur dengan istrinya, ayah dengan ibu, adik dengan kakaknya, atau kawan dengan teman kosnya, lalu saling berwasiat untuk saling membangunkan tentu lebih baik dan menambah semangat bangun Shubuh.
Demikian 7 kiat sukses bangun Shubuh yang terbukti banyak membantu kaum Muslimin bangun Shubuh. Semoga kita dimudahkan Allah bangun Shubuh lalu berjamaah di masjid. Amin. Allahu a’lam.[]
Sumber: Majalah Masajid Edisi Nopember 2015 Rubrik Kajian Utama – www.majalahmasajid.com
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The Dying of Will
Tafseer e Tustari: "Hazrat Sahl (ra) was [then] asked about a man who repents and renounces a certain sin, but then it occurs to his heart, or he sees it or hears of it and finds sweetness in that vile sin. What is to be done in such a case?
He replied: The feeling of sweetness pertains to [his] nature (ṭabʿ) and is not susceptible of change, such that a thing which is loved could become something detestable.
However, the heart’s determination can be coerced so that he can return to God, Mighty and Majestic is He, and place his dilemma before Him. Then he should force on himself and on his heart a state of rejection [of that sin] which should never leave him, for if he becomes inattentive to that state of rejection for just the blinking of the eye, it is to be feared that he will not remain safe from it."
Ramzan! The month Allah calls His Own. When Satan is shackled and the nafs is bound, at least superficially, through fasting. My routine per instruction from Qari Sahib was set; Reading the Quran as much as possible. My intention was to write one piece for the month.
The choice of topic was spectacular; the Quran. I had collected a gazillion gems for it from different lectures by Uzair. I wanted to post it on the 27th night, Laila tul Qadr. The night that the first verse was revealed upon the heart of the Beloved (peace be upon him) in the Cave of Hira where he went to meditate for years and where his beloved wife, Bibi Khadija (ratu) brought him his food.
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رضي الله عنه قَالَ: أَتَي جِبْرِيْلُ النَّبِيَّ صلي الله عليه وآله وسلم
فَقَالَ : يَا رَسُوْلَ اﷲِ، هَذِهِ خَدِيْجَةُ قَد أَتَتْ مَعَهَا إِنَاءٌ فِيْهِ إِدَامٌ أَوْ طَعَامٌ أَوْ شَرَابٌ،
فَإِذَا هِيَ أَتَتْکَ فَاقْرَأْ عَلَيْهَا السَّلْامَ مِنْ رَّبِّهَا وَمِنِّي،
وَ بَشِّرْهَا بِبَيْتٍ فِي الْجَنَّةِ مِنْ قَصَبٍ، لَا صَخَبَ فِيْهِ وَلَا نَصَبَ
As narrated by Hazrat Abu Huraira (ratu):
Hazrat Gibrael (as) came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and said, “Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you)!
This is Khadija (ratu) who is bringing with her a bowl with soup or food or drink.
When she comes to you, say to her that her Lord God sends upon her Salam and so do I and give her glad tidings of a palace in Paradise wherein there will be no noise or any fatigue.”
I honed in on the words “noise and fatigue” and how they were the harbingers of difficulty in the world.
The incident of the revelation in recorded in the following manner in Fatih ul Bari ;
Begin excerpt “The Softest Heart”
أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ:
أَتَانِي جِبْرِيلُ بِنَمَطٍ مِنْ دِيبَاجٍ فِيهِ كِتَابٌ قَالَ اقْرَأْ
قُلْتُ: مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئ
Said the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), “Gibrael came to me with a book placed on a sheet of silk, and said, ‘Read!’
I said, “I do not have a reader.”
It is true that as soon as the Quran was recited by the Prophet of God (peace be upon him) in front of the Kuffar who felt spellbound by its beauty, the first accusation they leveled against him was that he was a poet, then that he was a magician, then that he was Majnun.
ن ۚ وَالْقَلَمِ وَمَا يَسْطُرُونَ
مَا أَنتَ بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ بِمَجْنُونٍ
وَإِنَّ لَكَ لَأَجْرًا غَيْرَ مَمْنُونٍ
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
بِأَييِّكُمُ الْمَفْتُونُ فَسَتُبْصِرُ وَيُبْصِرُونَ
Nun. (I swear) by the pen, and all that which they write (therewith)! You are not, by your Sustainer's grace, a madman! And, verily, yours shall be a reward never ending.
And you (stand) on an exalted standard of character. And (one day) you will see, and they (who now deride you) shall see which of you is afflicted with madness.
Surah Al Qalam, Verses 1-4
The most common understanding of the incident of the first revelation to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is different from what I have written above.
It is that when Hazrat Gibrael (as) came to him and said, “Iqra,”
“Read,” he replied, “I cannot read” as opposed to “I do not have a reader.”
After the dialogue repeating thrice, Hazrat Gibrael (as) said:
اقْرَأ باسم رَبك
“Read in the Name of your Lord God.”
People have never understood why the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was an Ummi,’ the one who does not read or write. They don’t understand that the God who can do anything, if He chooses to make His Beloved (peace be upon him), the manifestation of perfection, then there has to be a significant reason behind it. The trite explanation for this that I have seen is that he didn’t read or write so that when he would reveal the Quran to the Meccans, he would not be accused of writing it himself. But he was accused of thinking it up himself regardless so what’s the difference?
Pir Naseeruddin Naseer (ra) offers another explanation for why the Prophet (peace be upon him) is created as Ummi’ by God:
God makes His Last Messenger (peace be upon him) share His own Sunnah (habit/actions): God also does not read, He has others do it for Him. He does not write, others do it for Him. He wanted the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the one who he created in His Image more than anyone else, to share that attribute with Him.
It’s a very subtle point that only a certain kind of mind can appreciate. Personally I love it! It reminds me of a line of a couplet of Jigar Muradabadi.
میری کیا مجال جو دخل دوں ، میں کسی کے راز ونیاز میں
Who am I to interfere in His Secrets and His Bestowing, how much to whom?
Another Sufi thought that I heard behind why the one who possesses all the knowledge and wisdom of the Universe since its Creation does not write is that it is simply a matter of love. If The Beloved (peace be upon him) did write, what he would write most is the word “Allah.” Since the pen would be above and the word written below it, it was not acceptable again in the realm of adab, regard.
Later in the year, I would read in the Tafseer e Jilani the explanation for the verse in which Allah Ar-Rafi’, The Elevating One, says to His Prophet (peace be upon him):
سَنُقْرِئُكَ فَلَا تَنسَىٰ
We shall teach you, O Muhammad (peace be upon you) and you will not forget (of what you have been taught).
Surah Al-A’la, Verse 6
Tafseer e Jilani: We will make you from Ourself a reader who watches and reads Our Revelations and Inspirations even though you are an Ummi’ for I created you to be above the norms of reading and writing. So you will memorize and safeguard all of it and you will express your gratitude continuously for it so that there will never be any lessening or addition or alteration to it.
End excerpt “The Softest Heart”
In any case, those who think of the angel Gibrael (as) as the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) teacher have not read the following hadith again invoking the same verse.
سَنُقْرِئُكَ فَلَا تَنسَىٰ
We shall teach you, O Muhammad (peace be upon you)
and you will not forget (of what you have been taught).
Surah Al-A’la, Verse 6
The exegesis of the verse in the Tafseer Ruh Al Bayan is as follows: When Gibrael (as) came to the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) with the verse of Surah Maryam and recited it, (the first verse being four letters of the Arabic language);
كهيعص
Kaf, Ha, Ya, 'Ayn, Sad.
Surah Maryam, Verse 1
the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”
Gibrael (as) said, “Kaaf.”
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”
Gibrael (as) said, “Haa.”
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”
Gibrael (as) said, “Yaa.”
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”
Gibrael (as) said, “‘Ain.”
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”
Gibrael (as) said, “Suaad.”
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I know its meaning and intent.”
Gibrael (as) said, “O Prophet of Allah (peace be upon you)! What majesty is this? I myself don't know the meaning of this and you know it.”
But nothing I had planned for the month came to pass. For starters Qari Sahib got Corona. That alone sent me into a tailspin. My ablutions became more intense. I couldn’t write anything. He is the one who helps me with my references. I need the original text which is in Arabic or Urdu books in his online archive. Then I always need to study and translate the tafaseer with him.
The second happening that threw a wrench into the desire of worship was my building outdoor table tennis tables in a local park in Lahore. It wasn’t just any park either. It was the Kohinoor of all 800 parks in the city; Bagh e Jinnah. I had pitched the idea to the PHA (Parks and Horticultural Authority) on April 10th. They had been extremely enthusiastic about it. Two weeks later on the 27th I presented them with my plan and another two weeks later, a day after Ramzan started, we broke ground.
I went to the site every day at 7:30 am and stayed there for hours. I didn’t know the first thing about construction so my input was zero. I sat there like a dummy. The contractor and other workers would say, “Baji, go home” but I stayed. I don’t know why. I felt like I should be there. It felt hotter because of the fast but the heat wasn’t unbearable. I don’t mind heat. If I was an animal I would be a camel. Still, by the time I got home in the afternoon I was exhausted. I would collapse on my bed with alarms ringing an hour later for other stuff I had to do. For the first time in years I barely had time to even check email once a day.
For the next three weeks, I was deeply immersed in all things worldly. I joked with a friend of mine that I didn’t have a single experience at the site that motivated me to write even a sentence. Otherwise if I traveled anywhere for just a weekend, a story emerged from within me. The whole experience was physically arduous. But the real test of the month was spiritual and it came totally out of the blue.
The best I can explain what happened is this; a ghost from my past appeared. That’s all it was; an apparition. I was supposed to stay still. That was the test, my reaction was being watched. Instead of remaining where I was and letting destiny play itself out, caving to impulse, I ran towards it and all hell broke loose. Maulana (ra) writes about it perfectly;
What you seek is seeking you.
When I run after what I believe I want,
my days are a furnace of stress and tension.
But if I sit in my own place of patience,
what I need flows to me itself, without any pain.
From this I understand that
what I am seeking is also seeking me
is looking for me and attracting me.
There is a great (Divine) Secret here
for those who can comprehend it.
The weird thing is I had successfully applied the principle in the past. Usually I waited and watched. Precisely because of the poem and obeying the instruction given in it in no uncertain terms. But for some reason my zahir and batin, overt and inner beings, were in acute separation.
In all my writing for years I have been using the words zahir and batin without knowing exactly what they meant. My understanding of the two words was limited to the zahir being my superficial intention and the batin my deeper, real intention. The first could sometimes be falsehood but the latter was always the truth. The first was rooted in the nafs, the latter in the qalb, the seat of recognition of God in the heart.
Since they were never aligned, I felt the dichotomy between them when nothing went according to expectation. I thought I would be doing things for one reason but they would be for entirely another! This time they were moving in polar opposite directions, ripping me apart in the process.
I had recently come across the definitions of both words from Hazrat Najmuddin Qubra (ra), an honored disciple of Ghaus Pak (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani;
“Know that for each thing that exists in the Universe there is a zahir and a batin.
The different forms of zahir: Sometimes it is the jism, a mass, because it has a length and a width and a height so it takes space and can be split into parts. Sometimes zahir is the duniya, the world, because it comes from the root donow, which means becoming near. Therefore the world is called duniya because it is near ehsaas, our feelings.
Sometimes zahir is the surat, the face, because it has a form and it can be felt through the five senses. Sometimes zahir is the shahadat, witnessing, because through it something can be testified to. Sometimes zahir can be mulk, a kingdom, because it comes in an ownership and it can be controlled and made subordinate.
The different forms of batin: The batin of each and every thing is sometimes called roohaniyat, spirituality, because it has no length, width and depth that takes space and splits into parts. Sometimes batin is called akhirat, because akhirat means that which comes after. In terms of sensing something, the inner (batin) becomes known after the overt (zahir), hence batin is called that which comes in the end.
Sometimes batin is called ma’ana, essence or reality, because it does not have an apparent form and it cannot be felt physically. Sometimes it is called ghaib, unseen, because it is absent for the overt senses. Sometimes it is called malakut, the kingdom where there is no possession or control, but it is connected with the outer world.”
As soon as I ran after what I believed I wanted, my days became “a furnace of stress and tension.” And I knew exactly why. Prior to taking the misstep, I had done an istakahara to know how to behave in the situation and the verse that had come for me was this;
وَإِذَا قَرَأْتَ الْقُرْآنَ جَعَلْنَا بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَ الَّذِينَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْآخِرَةِ حِجَابًا مَّسْتُورً
And when you recite the Quran, We place between you and between those who (do) not believe in the Hereafter a veil hidden.
Surah Al-Isra’, Verse 45
In the tafseer of the verse I read that Allah is saying that sometimes Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) would be so deeply engrossed in reading the Quran, delving in its depths, searching for the pearls of benefits in Divine Commands, that he would forget about safeguarding himself from harm. Then Allah would, in order to protect him, from those who do not believe in the Afterlife, place a thick barrier between them and him as a veil. They would not be able to see him through that veil and therefore became unable to do him harm.
The only part of the verse that I felt was for me was the "veil." Allah had veiled me but in following my desire, I had ripped what was protecting me and exposed myself to a nightmare. For what, one might wonder? Nothing! Because when I did finally reach what I was chasing, it was literally nothing. The apparition disappeared like it was never even there but by then the veil was gone and for the first time in my life after decades, I felt alone. It was devastating because I live my life alone and have for a long time. But this was something else.
After that feeling came the real fruit of my disobedience; bitterness. I have been wayward most of my life yet never felt bitter. Or even felt punished. I realized then the difference was because in those days I was in the category of those who didn’t mean to be defiant.
ٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓئِرَ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّمَمَ ۚ
إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ ۚ
هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِكُمْ إِذْ أَنشَأَكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَرْضِ وَإِذْ أَنتُمْ أَجِنَّةٌ فِى بُطُونِ أُمَّهَـٰتِكُمْ ۖ
فَلَا تُزَكُّوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ ۖ
هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ ٱتَّقَىٰٓ
Those who avoid major sins and indecencies, except for minor lapses excepted.
Indeed, your Lord’s Forgiveness is vast.
He knows you well, ever since He created you from the earth and ever since you were embryos in your mothers’ wombs. So do not attest to your own virtues. He knows best as to who is conscious of Him.
Surah An-Najm, Verse 32
But knowing something, following it and then being disobedient, striving towards closeness with God and then turning away from Him, that had consequences unforeseen.
One might then ask, “So what is bitterness like?”
For me it was two things. First I became unable to be happy for someone else. Even when what happened to them was something I myself had wished for them for ages. Like this one friend of mine who called me and said there was shift in her marriage. For the better. After a decade of misery and anger flung around the house, trapping the spouses and the children in its ugly vortex. My reaction to the news was totally muted.
It was so unlike me I noticed it immediately. I didn’t say one positive thing to her. All that left my mouth was “You know you could have done this sooner.” And perhaps more strictly, “Obedience is the prerequisite for guidance” which is a fact but there was no need to say it. It was such a happy occasion. Instead of laughing with her about it and congratulating her, I was numb. Caught up in my feelings of misery. I was too busy gouging my soul.
روی نفس مطمئنه در جسد
زخم ناخنهای فکرت میکشد
Like nails, evil thoughts scratch the face of the Nafs e Mutmainna, your soul.
فکرت بد ناخن پر زهر دان
میخراشد در تعمق روی جان
Know that your wicked thoughts are as if dipped in poison.
Delving into them deeper only damages the face of the soul more.
I wonder if the reverse applied. Does bitterness prevent one from being able to feel another person’s sadness as well?
The other manifestation of the feeling for me was the appearance of badgumani, a word I had been unfamiliar with personally here to forth. It loosely translates as misunderstanding. For me it was the insertion of paranoia into my own heart by my own self, sowing seeds of mistrust and doubt about the sincerity of another person. Except when bitterness prevails, then the badgumani starts applying to everyone.
I have been on the receiving end of the emotion but not felt the emotion myself. Or if I had I couldn’t remember when it last happened. Without question, distrust is one of the heaviest, most negative feelings in the world. Being suspicious about others, second guessing their motive and intention, the whole thing was exhausting, both physically and mentally.
Taking that one step on my own made me feel more alone than when members of my family died in succession within months of each other. Because then I was under that veil. Difficulty ceased to exist or was always bearable. Then it would always pass.
In these days, I was reading Surah Al-An’am when I got the chance. When I reached the end, I came across a line that explained what was happening.
قُلْ أَغَيْرَ اللَّهِ أَبْغِي رَبًّا
وَهُوَ رَبُّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ
وَهُوَ رَبُّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ وَلَا تَكْسِبُ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ إِلَّا عَلَيْهَا
Say, “Why would I look for a lord other than God when He is the Lord of all things?”
Each soul is responsible for its own actions and no one bearer of burdens will bear the burdens of another.
Surah Al-An’am, Verse 164
Hazrat Najumiddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani; “O you who is unaware! Why would I want anyone other than Allah when He is my Beloved and the lover never wants anyone else except their beloved. If the lover happens then to desire anything other, then Allah is still the Lord of each thing. When the Lord is mine, then the thing is also mine. Whereas if I embrace anyone or anything other than Him, I will never attain it. Even if I gain some goodness from it, it will eventually become a difficulty upon me.”
Subhan Allah!
Even when I wasn’t religious I had a relationship with Allah in which He protected me. Now when I look back at the hardest times, I see how I brought them all upon myself. But then I didn’t know how to behave. My E.Q. was zero. I was all bravado caught up in a repetition of patterns that continually deepened the grooves of my dysfunction.
I can’t say that through this experience I didn’t gain wisdom. Confucius’ promise finally came true; Wisdom can be gained through experience, as opposed to emulation which is easy or reflection, hard, but only with bitterness. I had never chosen “experience” before. I focus all my attention on the stress-free route; emulation.
Tafseer e Tustari: "Sahl (ra) was asked about the words of the Prophet , ‘Seeking knowledge is an obligation (farīḍa) for every Muslim’.
He said, ‘This refers to the knowledge of [one’s] state (ḥāl).’
He was asked, ‘What is the knowledge of [one’s] state?’
He replied: 'Inwardly it is sincerity (ikhlāṣ) and outwardly it is emulation (iqtidāʾ). Moreover, unless a person’s outward [self] (ẓāhir) is leading his inner [self] (bāṭin), and his inner self is the perfection (kamāl) of his outward self, he will merely be fatiguing his body.'"
I related to a friend of mine my experience of the week. She looked at me amazed.
“It sounds like magic.”
I didn’t understand what she meant.
“Magic?”
“Yes. For all that to happen in days. For you to realize what was happening so quickly. People live in that state for so long.”
I pondered upon her words. Then I realized at least one reason why I had been so quick to understand what was going on. At the end of the day what saved me was that I’m a wuss, an emotional weakling. I cannot bear or sustain emotional pressure for very long. I think it runs in my family.
My mother had weak nerves. She was prone to nervous breakdowns from a young age. She couldn’t sustain emotional pressure at all. Maybe that’s why she was married thrice during a time when a single divorce carried heavy stigma in society. Even her family, her father and brother, despite being from an extremely conservative feudal background, never forced her to stay in a situation that was unhappy for her. That made a huge impact on my life in terms of moulding my personal outlook. In my relationships, if I felt lovelessness making roots, I had no choice but to exit. Long-term facades were not happening for me.
In this case, my bitterness and badgumaani, my silent reproach, didn’t last more than four days. It was by far the worst four days of my life. Worse than the times I felt intense depression and couldn’t get out of bed for weeks. Because that was more self-pity than anything else. There was little recognition, much less admission, of any personal transgression.
This trial ended because I couldn’t stop crying about what I had done wrong. There it was again appearing as the savior; repentance. Who would have thought just feeling truly badly about doing something brought with it the heavenly ease of salvation.
I was reminded that one of Iblis’ favourite tactics of misguiding is not letting people admit their error and instead just buckling down obstinately on their position. I had heard a story in one of Uzair’s lectures that once Iblis came to Pharoah and said to him, “What is it that you think you have come to possess that you have claimed to be god? I have immeasurable knowledge and much more power than you but never have I even thought to make such a claim.”
His words alarmed Pharoah. He thought about it in the night and made a decision. The next day when Iblis came he said to him, “I have decided that I will continue everything as is. Do whatever I wish to whoever I want. But I will no longer call myself god.”
Iblis looked at him sorrowfully and said, “I think it’s too late for such a reversal. If you now say that, you will lose much more than your credibility. If I were you, I would now just continue as you have been.”
Strangely enough, a lot of clerics have the same attitude as well. I know of people who went to many in Lahore, one after another, looking for redemption, seeking forgiveness, wanting to express repentance, explore change and instead were told that it was too late. They were older in years so they heard the same thing Iblis said to Pharoah. “You're too far gone. You may as well just stay as you are.”
I recalled a hadith which I have otherwise only focused on again and again in my writing because of the first part; controlling the tongue. But there it was; redemption and deliverance lay in crying in recognition of a mistake.
عَنْ عُقْبَةَ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، قَالَ: قُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مَا النَّجَاةُ؟
قَالَ: أَمْسِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ وَلْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ وَابْكِ عَلَى خَطِيئَتِكَ
As narrated by Hazrat Uqba Bin Amir (ratu):
I asked, ”Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you)! Where lies salvation?”
He replied, “Keep your tongue in control, have your home capable of holding you and shed tears upon your mistakes.”
Then I remembered the line I had used in the video I had made for Maulana (ra) from the Masnavi;
تا نگرید ابر کے خندد چمن
تا نگرید طفل کے جوشد لبن
Till rain doesn’t fall from the clouds, the deadness of the earth remains.
Till the child doesn’t cry, the mother doesn’t nurse it.
گفت "ولیبکوا کثیرا " گوش دار
تا بریزد شیر فضل کردگار
And remember that Allah said, “they should weep a lot,”
so that the Mercy of God is showered upon them.
My test really ended when I wrote a letter to God. I told Him that I felt like I had been in a boat by myself, sailing blissfully through an ocean calm, then rowed myself into a vortex voluntarily. Now I needed help to get out of it because I was drowning with no end in sight. I wasn’t alive and I wasn’t dead. I wept and wept and invoked Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) asking for forgiveness for the sake of His Beloved. That is when feeling of being distraught dissipated and I felt calm.
And thus I returned under the veil. I started feeling like myself again. The hardness of my heart cracked. I wrote to my friend whose marriage was changing and told her how elated I was for her. I felt happy. I sang out loud and twirled around in my room.
In the days after when someone I loved disappointed me, I noticed my reaction became different. Before I would be irritated for sure, even if I was able to exercise silence and not react. My heart thought badly of them because what they did was unprovoked and clearly unfair.
Now, though, having taken a ride on the train that they were spending most of their time on in their present, I didn’t think of them negatively. I would just stare at them and think how it was exactly like how I had been feeling and behaving. Perhaps there was no other way for me to soften my stance towards them without being exactly the same as them.
Later I thought about what happened deeply. I wondered why I had regressed so badly after so long. After all that blissful while that I had sat in my place of not wanting anything and seeing what I needed flow to me. A thought occurred to me. I had been brandishing my latest video as my “masterpiece.” There was a line in it that went a little something like this; whatever you pursue and make your destiny, the striving for it will not let you have any peace in your life.
No wonder Nabi Pak (peace be upon him) and all the Auliya Karam in his emulation, prayed fervently for their free will to be taken from them forever.
اللَّهُمَّ رَحْمَتَكَ أَرْجُو فَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ
وَأَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَا أَنْتَ
The most honored Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “O Allah, it is Your mercy that I hope for so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs.
None has the right to be worshiped except You.
Even for a blink of an eye!
I wondered with sadness what would happen to the ensuing generations who can’t seem do anything except what they want, when they want, impatient for full charge of their affairs as early as possible.
The “veil” I keep referring to is in fact the prize of surrendering one’s free will. Submerging one’s wishes into the irada, Will, of Allah and following that lead.
Ghaus Pak (ra) in Al-Fath Ar-Rabbani; “When the possibility of rejecting destiny, changing it, erasing it, going against it doesn’t exist, then why do you make a will contradicting Allah’s Will? When only that reaches you which He wills, then you should not want anything at all yourself. And when that cannot happen which He does not wish for you, then don’t put your nafs and your qalb, your self and your heart within the heart, in baseless difficulty by desiring it.
Surrender everything to your Lord. Turn your focus towards Him and with the hand of repentance hold on to His Mercy. Then you will always be in the state when bearing all the hardships of the world will become easy. Leaving desires and lusts will become easy and you will not complain about it and you will not be stung by it.”
I guess in that state then it doesn’t matter what comes one’s way. If it is happiness one is grateful. If it’s sadness, one is patient while not thinking of the ordeal as difficult and not wanting it to end. And if it happens to be humiliation, then even that has its upside most supreme.
Hazrat Bayazid Bastami (ra) sought His Lord for 40 years.
“I tried everything I knew to find My Lord but I did not find Him. Finally one night, during Tahajjud, I went into sajda (prostration) and continuously wept. And I said to Him;
ما وجدت شياء يتقرب به اليه تعالى إذ رأيت كل نعمت يتقرب به للا لوهية فيه مدخل
“I did not find anything that drew me closer to my Lord when I saw that all blessings that create closeness to Allah have, in them, some distortion."
فقلت يا رب بماذا أتقرب إليك؟
So I said, “O Lord! By what do I come closer to You?”
That night was the first time I heard The Voice and He said to me;
تقرب الي بما ليس لي
“Come towards Me with that which is not Mine and not for Me.”
I was astonished by the words and I asked;
ما الذي ليس لك يا رب
“What is there in this Universe that is not You and not for You?”
He said;
الذلة و الافتقار
“Humiliation and humility."
When I first heard the story I couldn’t get over the first word; humiliation. But there is a difference between humiliation borne for the self and the zillat borne for Allah’s Sake. In the first, which is part of everyone’s life in one relationship or another, there is martyrdom, then self-righteousness and almost always a limit of tolerance.
When crossed one explodes and retreats, sometimes forever. Or stays and repeats the cycle becoming even harder than before. In the second, there is surrender to Divine Will and therefore infinite patience even when the pain is intense. That is gifted for the chosen few who know that the source of all things is only God.
I learnt from Ghaus Pak (ra) the reason to lend understanding to anyone who is overtly doing something wrong.
“For example, when you see someone who doesn’t pray, then you tell them to do so because it is the command of the Sharia’ but understand that in the Knowledge of Allah, if the person had been written as a Namazi, the one who says their prayers, then for sure they would have done so. But they are ma’zoor i.e. they are excused because no one has the ability to go against their taqdeer, their ordained destiny.
So in this way, when they were not able to listen and obey to advice and orders and instruction, whether it was given gently or firmly, then in the rank of your own knowledge, know that they are ma’zoor, not accepting guidance, so don’t become prideful on your own deeds (for having been granted ability) and stay firm in your belief of having been chosen.”
The read, which was actually a footnote, was a remarkable find for me who has trouble not interfering in other people’s spiritual journeys. Again it was about surrender! Except this time it’s not for one’s own self but in the acceptance of the journey of another. That if it is incongruent to one’s own, it’s ok.
Qari Sahib explained it wonderfully. “Think of it like the Azaan,” he said. “Some come to pray, others don’t and the call of the Azaan continues.”
And of course there was a reference from the Quran. The verse was different because in it Allah has Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) address not the Muslims but every single human being.
قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاءَكُمُ الْحَقُّ مِن رَّبِّكُمْ
فَمَنِ اهْتَدَىٰ فَإِنَّمَا يَهْتَدِي لِنَفْسِهِ
وَمَن ضَلَّ فَإِنَّمَا يَضِلُّ عَلَيْهَا
وَمَا أَنَا عَلَيْكُم بِوَكِيل
Say, “O Mankind! The Truth has come to you from your Lord.
Whoever chooses to follow the path of guidance, it is for his own good. And whoever chooses to go astray, does so to his own loss. I am not responsible for your conduct."
Surah Yunus, Verse 108
Funnily enough is the hard thing was supposed to be the tables in the park. Everything about the execution of the project was unknown to me. We were doing something for the first time. There was nothing but X factors from start to finish. But for that Qari Sahib had me read two nafal on Day One surrendering everything to Allah and Nabi Pak (peace be upon him). After that even when things seemingly didn’t go right, I didn’t feel bad or angry or worried. Everything about it was fine with me.
In the end everything is in a balance whether we see that or not. Everything is placed in the place it deserves to be placed in; that is the classical definition of adl, justice. Each single thing is held accountable for its own actions. Even inside the same person different parts, like the nafs and the qalb, cannot be blamed for one another.
Hazrat Najmuddin Kubra (ra) in the Tafseer e Jilani; “By its nature, the ease and satisfaction of the nafs lies in the world and its artificial and false adornments. The nafs desires the opposite of that which is commanded by God and this is what becomes its burden. In this state, it travels towards the most base of ranks and none other than the nafs can carry the weight of its weakness.
The qalb will not be held accountable or answerable for the encumbrances of the nafs as long as it is safeguarded from the regretful negativity of the nafs and possesses the light of imaan, faith. For in the intrinsic nature of the qalb is placed the love and desire of Allah.
Only when the qalb follows the nafs does Allah, in His Wrath, make the two equal. In this case, the mirror of the qalb becomes rusted by the habits and attributes of the nafs. When the qalb follows in the footsteps of the desires of the nafs and becomes trapped by its lusts, it loses its original intended purpose.
By Allah’s Command it was supposed to be the seat of taharat (purity), safa (cleansing), salamati (peace), zikr (remembrance), fikar (reflection), tauheed (One-ness), imaan (faith), tawakul (reliance), sidq (truth), ikhlas (sincerity) and bandagi (obedience). When it rejected this Command and fell into waywardness, it became liable for the burden of its sins.
Just as Allah has said;
كَلَّا بَلْ رَانَ عَلَىٰ قُلُوبِهِم مَّا كَانُوا يَكْسِبُون
Nay! But, their hearts have been corroded by what they do (earn).”
Surah Al-Mutaffifin, Verse 14
In my 30s I used to say to people if there was something that wiped the slate clean, no matter what someone did before, it was marriage. In my 50s, I learn repentance does the same. Within that it’s one thing when someone apologizes for something and entirely another when they do so with tears. It’s unlikely I will ever know the feeling of being the vice-regent of Allah on Earth, having been “created in the best mould” but this Ramzan I certainly experienced the asfala safileen, the depths of despair;
ثُمَّ رَدَدْنَاهُ أَسْفَلَ سَافِلِين
Then We returned him to the lowest of the low.
Surah At-Teen, Verse 5
Tafseer e Jilani; “Because of their own misdeeds, when Our Will decided it, we deprived Man from his highly exalted status and relegated him to the lowest of states where his fulfillment, desires and hopes are tied to the world.”
Still in the last ashara’, last 10 days of the month, which is exclusively for escape from the fires of Hell, I experienced Allah as Al-Ghafoor and Al-Wadood.
وَهُوَ الْغَفُورُ الْوَدُود
And He is Oft-Forgiving, the Most Loving.
Surah Al-Burooj, Verse 14
Tafseer e Jilani; “He is bound by His Mercy to be the Forgiver and The One who hides sins. He erases the sins of those who repent with sincerity and become obedient, no matter what the sins are, in number or type. He loves the repentance of the sinner who asks for forgiveness with sincerity. When they plead before Him, when they are bent in fear and shame, when they are regretful of their sins, that ask for forgiveness is beloved to Him.
In the end, I felt sad that on the 27th of Ramzan I was not able to post the piece on the Quran that I had intended. Qari Sahib was still not well. Still we managed a phone call and I discussed some of my translations for this writing. Instead, I read the Quran. It so happened that I reached the last verse of Surah Al-An’am.
وَهُوَ الَّذِي جَعَلَكُمْ خَلَائِفَ الْأَرْضِ
وَرَفَعَ بَعْضَكُمْ فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ دَرَجَاتٍ لِّيَبْلُوَكُمْ فِي مَا آتَاكُمْ
إِنَّ رَبَّكَ سَرِيعُ الْعِقَابِ
وَإِنَّهُ لَغَفُورٌ رَّحِيم
It is He who has made you His Vice-regent on this Earth and has raised some of you in rank above others so that He might test you by means of what He has given you.
Your Lord is swift in punishment but He is also forgiving and Merciful to all.
My eyes read the tafseer of the verse and wept as I translated it, the words piercing my heart.
وَهُوَ الَّذِي جَعَلَكُمْ خَلَائِفَ الْأَرْضِ
“It is God who has sent you as His Appointee on this Earth as the one who is able to become the reflection of His Attributes.
وَرَفَعَ بَعْضَكُمْ فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ دَرَجَاتٍ
In gaining those Attributes He has made given some of you preference over others.
لِّيَبْلُوَكُمْ فِي مَا آتَاكُمْ
So you will be tested on the capabilities and strengths that were bestowed upon you to see if you are using them to consummate the purpose of your creation or for other means.
إِنَّ رَبَّكَ سَرِيعُ الْعِقَابِ
The one who destroys their natural ability without purpose will be punished swiftly.
وَإِنَّهُ لَغَفُورٌ رَّحِيم
Similarly, the one who heeds advice and seeks forgiveness and makes the intent to come towards the right path through repentance will find that Allah is Benevolent towards them.”
The road towards Tauheed, the One-ness of Allah, is paved with the dying of the will. Over and over, again and again. This Ramzan I learnt that quite literally. I experienced Hell but for an instant and it was unbearable. Prayers I uttered entirely in obedience to Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him), copying his words exactly, saved me from myself. The one that became my favourite was this;
قُلْ إِنَّ صَلَاتِي وَنُسُكِي وَمَحْيَايَ وَمَمَاتِي لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِين
Say, O Beloved (peace be upon you), "Indeed, my prayer and worship, and my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds.”
The words were so intense I had to look up Ghaus Pak’s (ra) tafseer of it.
Tafseer e Jilani: “Oh Messenger who completes prophet-hood, who is the reflection of the essence of Allah’s Tauheed, One-ness, say, while entrusting your entire affairs and all that which is happening with you and by you to your Lord, “Indeed, the inclination of all my organs and parts, my entire being (zahir and batin) and all my worship, which is the means of my gaining closeness and connection with my Lord in my life in this world and the Hereafter, are only and only for Allah, The One who is The Controller of all His Kingdoms by His Will in every aspect, for everything belongs to Him and He is the Lord of all the Worlds.”
It was a comforting relief for me to discover that which I love cannot become detestable to me. A feeling my nature considers sweet is not susceptible to change. The apparition was not my enemy. I did not have to dislike it if I loved it. My "sin" was my lunging towards it for the umpteenth time instead of patiently standing where I was and letting the ghost play its test out, whatever it was. After all, it appeared for a reason.
At each point in the journey when one stumbles, hope appears. If one is attached to those who stand at the destination as a result of being guided by Allah's Beloved (peace be upon him), there is always a beckoning from them to get up and move forward. There is no prolonged self-pity. There is no extended distress.
Ghaus Pak (ra) says that the batin is the bird, the qalb its cage. The qalb a bird, the body its cage. The body a bird, the grave its cage. The grave is the cage for all creation that everyone has to enter. Before that dying come a thousand deaths for the seeker. And as I learnt, a thousand lives. Only through each does one edge towards fulfillment of purpose.
Sahel Tustari (ra): "The heart has a thousand deaths, of which the ultimate is being cut off (qaṭīʿa) from God, Mighty and Majestic is He; and the heart has a thousand lives, of which the ultimate is the encounter (liqāʾ) with God, Mighty and Majestic is He. Furthermore, with each sinful act the heart undergoes a death, and with each act of obedience it receives [new] life."
That Allah is His Infinite Generosity offers vice-regency to all human beings astonishes me. Even acquiring a single attribute of The Divine seems invisibly far. The hand of repentance, however, that reaches His Mercy via Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) brings everything in one's reach. Fresh starts, clean slates, new choices, different endings. In every moment, in every day. In the end, inspired by the hadith Qudsi I have learnt recently, I will find myself to be only that which I think I am.
Tafseer e Tustari: "Hazrat Sahel (ra) said: Struggle against your lower self with the sword of opposition! Place upon its [back] the burdens of remorse (nadam), and guide it through the desert plains of fear (khawf), so that you may turn it back to the path of repentance (tawba) and contrition (ināba). Repentance is not acceptable except from one who feels perplexed at his plight, grief-stricken at this situation, and confounded in his heart at what has happened to him."
Continued from Part II of The Upside of Humiliation: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/52273833091/in/datepos...
...As my attention upon the words in the namaz intensified, I began to wonder that was actually being said by me in the part called the Tashahhud.
التَّحِيَّاتُ لِلَّهِ وَالصَّلَوَاتُ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ،
The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) said to God Almighty,
“All kinds of greetings, prayers and goodness belong to Allah.”
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكَ أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ،
Upon this greeting, God Almighty said to His Prophet (peace be upon you and your family),
“Peace, the Mercy of Allah and His Blessings be on you, O Prophet (peace be upon you and your family).”
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْنَا وَعَلَى عِبَادِ اللَّهِ الصَّالِحِينَ
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) said,
“Peace be upon us and the Saliheen servants of Allah.”
أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُه
Gibrael (as) witnessed this exchange at Sidrat ul Muntaha when Allah ordered him
to be a witness by saying,
“I bear witness there is no God but Allah. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.
I called Qari Sahib even though he was on his Hajj. I wanted to say something about this part in my last lecture to the kids. But I didn’t know what it meant. I knew it was important because it was the dialogue at the Night on Ascension. I wanted to know what the first words spoken by Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) were to His Lord were when they were face to face. What did they mean?
Qari Sahib told me this: “This is where Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) is presenting his gift to his Rabb. As do we when we go to see someone for the first time. Nabi Pak (peace be upon him and his family) has already seen Allah Subhanahu in the Alim e Lahoot, the Realm of the Divine Light, but this is the first time he is going as the perfect man, as a human being from this world, the Nasoot.
The first word he speaks, Attahayaatu, it means that all my worship in words by my tongue are for you my Lord. So that includes our recitation of the Quran, namaz, tasbeeh, speaking the truth etc. Wa salaawatu, the second offering, is of worship offered in the form of deeds. This requires physicality. So he is saying, All of my deeds are for you O Lord!” The third present is tayyabaatu. That is “My worship in giving of my possessions, everything is for you, my Lord.”
Qari Sahib’s words from thousands of miles away brought me to a snail’s pace when I came upon those words. No wonder Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) only did each single thing with the utmost beauty and perfection, so that each time Allah Subhanahu cast His Love upon them so they were enveloped by it. They only did an action as was worthy of the action.
That was why when Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) worshipped God, Allah took oaths upon the excellence of that manner of worship and not just once in the Quran, by saying “Fa Wa Rabba-ka, “I take an oath by thy Sustainer, O Beloved (peace be upon you and your family).” Not an oath on Himself or King the Universe but Your Sustainer, Your Lord, Your Rabb!
Qari Sahib even pointed me to another verse, of many expressing honor for Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) in the Quran. It was a major find for me for it was line I uttered in my prayers in every ruku’ of every raka’t.
فَسَبِّحْ بِٱسْمِ رَبِّكَ ٱلْعَظِيمِ
So glorify the Name of your Lord, the Most Great.
Surah Waqia’, Verse 74
Tafseer e Jilani
And overall:
Fasibbih: And praise, O Messenger who perfects the Messengers (peace be upon him and his family)…
Bi ismi Rabbika Al Adeem: the Name of your Lord, The Most Exalted, who is The Most Honorable and The Most Majestic, free from everything which may be called defective or hovers over it, Allah Subhanahu’s Orbit of Majesty, anything which is erroneous or has a shortcoming.
All of his deeds was rendered in perfection so Allah Subhanahu said Himself:
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍۢ
Indeed, surely, you are of an excellent moral character.
Surah Al Qalam, Verse 4
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa Innaka: And indeed, you, the one whose manner is the perfection of the Attributes of Allah Subhanahu, takhalluqe-ka bil akhlaq Allah and your being is in a state of conviction in the Station of Friendship and Vice-regency…
La’ala khuluq-in adeem: you are of an excellent moral character. No one’s excellence of character is more superb than your character because you hold and have gathered the characters of the ones before you and the ones after you as per the totality of your rank.
I was forced to consider my own offering of words, deeds and material possessions. Most often than not they left me tinged with regret. It was almost always because my tongue wasn’t as soft as it should have been. Leaving my qalb, the station of ma’rifat, veiled, despite “its natural propensity towards it” because I denied it that connection. It was shackled by my nafs to react and respond in certain ways.
Then I was constantly missing out on deeds that stood before me as I passed them by. My giving could always be more than it was. Although knowing that it went straight into the hand of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) had certainly changed it. The verse had become one of my absolute favourites.
Every time I quoted the tafseer, I don’t know what impact it had on the other person but it certainly blew me away. I think the words that drew me into it was who it was that was doing this giving. I was front and center among them: the sinners, the regretful, the repentant!
But it was what his prayer in return held for the one giving that held the magic; sakana, tranquility.
خُذْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ صَدَقَةًۭ تُطَهِّرُهُمْ وَتُزَكِّيهِم بِهَا وَصَلِّ عَلَيْهِمْ ۖ
إِنَّ صَلَوٰتَكَ سَكَنٌۭ لَّهُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
Take from their wealth a charity, purifying them and cause them increase in it and bless them.
Indeed, your prayers are a comfort for them.
And Allah is The Hearer of All, The Knower of Everything.
Surah Tauba, Verse 103
Tafseer e Jilani
Khud: Accept, O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (peace be upon you)…
Min amwalihim: from their possessions of those who are Al Mudnibeen, sinners and Al Tai’been, the repenters and Al Nadimeen the ones who are regretful, of that which has happened from them because of their going against you, when they asked for your permission that you leave this matter…
Sadqatan tuttahirruhum: (Accept) alms so you purify them from the filth of their nature that they are crazy about, which is love of possessions and the greed of gathering them and increasing them…
Wa tuzzakihim biha: by which you cleanse their batin, inner beings, from distractions that hinder them from the taste of spirituality…
Wa salle alaihim: and pray for them and ask for their maghfirat, forgiveness for their sins, and pray for them the prayer of all goodness.
Inna salaataka: Indeed your prayer and your caring for their states…
Sakana al lahum: brings
1.inner peace for their hearts
2.and dignity
3.and calmness
4.and the means of their being steadfast
5.and firmly footed in the Realm of Allah’s Tauheed, His One-ness and Imaan, faith.
Wallahu: And Allah, Al Muraqib, The One who watches over them in all their states is…
Samee-un: All Hearing of their sincerity and their secret conversations with him…
Aleem-un: All Knowing of their intentions and their needs.
Still, even in the days my ghaflat left me forgetting everything as it happened, I would ultimately express my regret before my Nabi (peace be upon him and his family) so I could be acquitted solely through it. As was promised in the Quran. Even though I had translated the verse word by word, I kept thinking of it incorrectly. For some reason, I had assumed that Allah Subhanahu had said, when they transgress upon their own selves, they should first ask Allah for forgiveness, THEN come to you, O Beloved (peace be upon you).
But He wasn’t saying that.
وَلَوْ أَنَّهُمْ إِذ ظَّلَمُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَهُمْ جَآءُوكَ فَٱسْتَغْفَرُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ
وَٱسْتَغْفَرَ لَهُمُ ٱلرَّسُولُ لَوَجَدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا
And if they, when they wronged themselves, come to you and asked forgiveness of Allah,
and the Messenger (peace be upon him) asked forgiveness for them,
surely, they would have found Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Surah An-Nisa’, Verse 64
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa lau annahum: And if they, without doubt, due to the intensity of their ghaflat, ignorance and hypocrisy…
Id zalamu anfusahum: that which befalls you of affliction, (which is) harmful, not submitting to you… that which befalls you of affliction, (which is) harmful, not submitting to you…
Jaa’uka: they must come to you as the ones who repent, the one who are apologetic because of that which happened from them…
Fastaghfarullah: then they ask for forgiveness from Allah (being) sincere and regretful…
Wastaghfara lahum Ar Rasoolu: and The Messenger (peace be upon him) also asks for forgiveness for them through intercession and praying before Allah, asking for the acceptance (of the person by Him) after they have come as the ones who are apologetic…
Lawajadullaha: surely, they will find Allah (to be) and they will testify to Him being the One who grants Bounty and Mercy…
Tawwaban: (and find Allah to be) The One who accepts their repentance…
Raheeman: The One who is Merciful to them and grants them ability to do this (go the The Messenger (peace be upon him).
The starting point for the nafs to gain a guaranteed forgiveness before God was an appearance before His Beloved (peace be upon him and his family).
As the 10th of Muharram approached and I heard lecture upon lecture on the Shuhuda e Karbala, I came upon a narration that unveiled how, in this world, the knowing of that sacrifice was brought in to the consciousness of the blessed Imam (as) as a toddler. Not when his father, Maula e Kayinaat (as), most reluctantly, was the Khalifa. It was not when his elder brother, Imam Hassan (as) declined it entirely. It was not when Yazid took over and declared himself to be the spiritual leader of the Caliphate and demanded his submission. It was when he was a child of three.
When the incident was brought to the ears of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) by the angel Gibrael (as), Imam Hussain (as) was with him.
The little boy came running to his mother and said, “This is what my grandfather is saying is going to happen to me. I will be killed in a field without having any water and food for days. I will be killed by those who follow him and say his name in their prayers and send blessings upon us. Everyone with me will be killed before me, except the women. And then I too will be killed.”
His mother Bibi Fatima Az Zahra (as) quietly said, “If he is saying it, then that is what will happen.”
“Will you be there,” he asked her.
“No,” she replied.
“Will my father?”
“No,” she replied.
“Will my brother?”
“No,” she replied.
“Then who will cry for me?” he asked.
Hazrat Bibi Fatima (as) softly wept. “There will be a group of people who will mourn your death forever and express their sadness with tears will the Day of Judgement comes.”
“So what will you give them?” the child asked. “For crying for me without knowing me. What will you give them?”
Bibi (as) kept crying and said, “Your grandfather says that Heaven belongs to me. So on that Day when accounts will be taken and dwelling for an eternity determined, I will let my hair down and sit at the gates of Heaven and say to my Lord, ‘I will not enter it until every single person whose eyes spilled a single tear for Hussain enters Heaven before me.’”
The layering of this incident between the mother and child became etched in my memory. We don’t tell our children anything, I thought, thinking they will be traumatized. Imam Hussain (as) knew as a child what he would experience and awaited it. He didn’t fear it or feel sad about it. He didn’t pray for it to not happen.
Bibi Fatima (as) was the woman, who when a single strand of her hair appeared on her forehead out of her veil by accident, the angel Gibrael (as) descended and said to her father (peace be upon him and his family), Allah Subhanahu tells Fatima (as) to cover her hair. That woman who was preserved by Allah Himself would sit unveiled to finally ask her Lord for something, which wasn’t even going to be for herself.
These are the devout Hazrat Abdul Qadir Jilani (ra) describes in his book Sirr al Asraar, (The Secret of the Secrets), as the extraordinary ones:
“Those who are close to Allah devote the spiritual rewards of their good deeds to sinners. God most High manifests His Mercy, pardoning sinners in proportion to the prayers, the praises, the fasts, the alms and the pilgrimages of His servants who intend to sacrifice the spiritual rewards they may hope for as a result of their worship and devotions. Allah in his Mercy covers and hides the sins of sinners as a reward of the devotion of His Good Servants.”
Then the notion that came from Nabi Pak (peace be upon him and his family) himself; those who believed without seeing him would receive a reward, a recompense unmatched, beyond imagination. A single tear shed for Imam Hussain (as) brought its own treasure; the intercession of Khatoon e Jannat, the Lady to whom Heaven belonged (as).
I came to understand that the sacrifice of Imam Hussain (as) was not in fact a sacrifice offered to Allah Subhanahu by his mother, Bibi Fatima (as) or his father, Maula e Kayinaat, Imam Ali (as). The origin, mubda’, of the sacrifice was Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him). It was to him that the revelation was sent that the event would happen. It was he who witnessed it in the future. It was his willful surrender to His Lord’s Pleasure that came first.
And then even after Imam Hussain’s (as) martyrdom that brought the redness to the sky at sunset for the first time, the sacrifices continued. By his sister, Bibi Zainab (as) who endured the unspeakable, his son Hazrat Zain ul Abideen who grief poured from his eyes every second of every single day that he lived. All the Imams after him were first imprisoned then poisoned, one by one, by the Muslim rulers of the time.
Each presented himself to everything in life and death in willing surrender.
People are often confused with the Imam’s (as) mourning, not knowing how to make sense of it in the context of the verse: “there is no fear upon them nor do they feel grief.”
Qari Sahib explained it to me like this:
“Grief is exactly what he feels throughout his life but that grief is not a result of loss of possessions which is what causes it for us. It is not from the ‘effects of the tabyat.’ It is simply an expression of the mercy one’s heart feels only from Allah Subhanahu and its manifestation is always secondary to His Pleasure.”
The he directed me to the incident of the passing of Nabi Kareem’s (peace be upon him and his family) child, Ibrahim which we had translated in The Softest Heart.
As narrated by Hazrat Anas Bin Malik (ratu):
We entered with the Prophet of God (peace be upon him) the house of Abi Saif whose wife had breastfed (his son), Ibrahim, the Prophet’s (peace be upon him and his family) son. He took him to Ibrahim and the Prophet of God (peace be upon him and his family) kissed him and smelt him. Then we went to him and Ibrahim was taking his last breaths and the eyes of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) were flowing with tears.
Harzat Abdur Rahman (ratu) said to him, “You (are crying), Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon you and your family)?
He said, "O Ibn e Auf, This is mercy” and he started crying again.
Then he said, “Verily the eyes send their tears and the heart is saddened, but we do not say anything except that which pleases our Lord. Indeed, O Ibrahim, we are bereaved by your departure from us."
Indeed, they were in a category that was made exclusive like no other by Allah because it was He who purified them Himself!
إِنَّمَا يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ لِيُذْهِبَ عَنكُمُ ٱلرِّجْسَ أَهْلَ ٱلْبَيْتِ وَيُطَهِّرَكُمْ تَطْهِيرًۭا
Indeed, Allah wishes to remove from you the impurity, O People of the House (peace be upon you all)!
And to purify you (with thorough) purification.
Surah al Ahzab, Verse 33
Innama yureedullahu: Indeed Allah Al Musleh, The Reformer of the states of His Worshipper, wishes for those who are chosen by Him, teaching them such advice and reminders which enter the heart and giving them warnings strange, unlike any other…
Liyudhiba ankum ar-rijsa: removing impurities from you, unattractive, loathsome by both the mind and by Jurisprudence (which can be in contradiction to one another), O…
Ahl e Bait: the people of the house of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family), Al Majbooleen, who are raised upon honour and nobility..
Wa yutahhirakum: (and it is also His Will) to make you absolutely pure from the dirt of one’s nature and things that are hateful imperfections that exist from the beginning (from birth like the Shaitan attached to each person), and which are hurdles in the cleansing of personal nature (like menstruation or emissions)…
Tat-hirah: (to make you absolutely pure) in absolute purity.
Such purity that nothing remains in you, any doubt of disfigurement and the disgrace of any shortcoming.
Ghaus Pak (ra) adds: “Allah uses the verb for male plural in the middle of the verse, even though the verb before and after addresses only the female plural (kunna), because Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) and Maula Ali (as) and his sons, Imam Hassan and Hussain (as) are a part of those addressed in it so the verb changes. And it includes Hazrat Bibi Fatima (as) and the wives of the household of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family).”
In the hardship for the nafs lies also its ease. No fear, no sadness were the overt stated rewards. The hidden ones from Allah An Nafi, The Benefiting One, appeared throughout life. When my mother died, my career derailed and never got back on track again. Instead I discovered I could write. That writing today becomes my meditation.
My nature, from being in a boarding school, was shaped by Allah Al Musawwir, The Flawless Shaper, so as to not feel loneliness. The thing I slowly killing people around me throughout each day whilst being surrounded by people. Perhaps that’s why when I utter the words of Surah Ikhlas in my sala’t, my voice stays on the first and last Name that Allah Subhanahu uses to tell His Beloved (peace be upon him and his family) to describe Himself – The Sole One, The One who was, is and will forever remain alone.
“Say to them, Allah is One…
Ahad.”
And then again..
“Kufuwan Ahad.”
There are only two extensions of the truth, haqq, say the scholars in the know; Khair, goodness and husn, beauty. And the maada, the marrow, of the word insaan, the human being is to be either manoos, the one who loves or naseeya, the one who forgets.
In one of his lectures Sheikh Nurjan (ra) expounds on the latter point beautifully. He says that every interaction in life holds within only one of two possibilities; humility or humiliation. For the mindful person, who Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) calls the Mo’min, one evokes gratitude, the other patience.
عن صهيب قال رسولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم:
عَجَبًا لأمرِ المؤمنِ إِنَّ أمْرَه كُلَّهُ لهُ خَيرٌ
وليسَ ذلكَ لأحَدٍ إلا للمُؤْمنِ
إِنْ أصَابتهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ فكانتْ خَيرًا لهُ
وإنْ أصَابتهُ ضَرَّاءُ صَبرَ فكانتْ خَيرًا لهُ
Said the Prophet of God (peace be upon him), “Amazing is the state of the Believer (Mo’min). In all his matters is goodness and this is for no one except the Believer. If happiness reaches him, he expresses gratitude so that is good for him. And if comes to him adversity, he is patient so that is good for him.”
Sheikh Nurjan (ra): “When people walk safely upon the Earth, they say ‘I don’t remember feeling that type of fear.’ And they go about their life as if a situation that happened had never occurred. And the Station of Sincerity is for those people that never forget. They forgive but they never forget.
Human nature is to be forgetful. People do something bad, the next day they forget. And by means of that forgetting, they try to continue with their lives in their state of heedlessness, forgetfulness.
Forgetting, forgetting, forgetting. Saying, ‘I won’t backbite.’ Then they backbite…So the nature of humanity is to be forgetful. Sincerity is when Allah opens within their soul so that don’t forget and don’t enter into a state of forgetfulness because becoming heedless and the state of heedlessness is a danger and catastrophe.
So sincerity is what opens the reality of their souls. Then they don’t forget what they did and they don’t forget what they promised and their life is trying to accomplish and ask for and repent for all that they’ve done and all that they do. And they live a life of maghfira, asking for forgiveness and tauba, repentance.”
The Sheikh unveiled a secret. The opposite of ghaflat, heedlessness, was ikhlas, sincerity.
“And the sincere, Allah Azzo Jal opens within their heart the ability to forgive. It’s one thing to forget. Someone might do something to you, then the next day they do the same thing to you and you continue on with the difficulty because you forget. But sincerity opens for them to know all the wrongs that people have done. And it is what Allah Azzo Jal has written for their lives to be tested. So as a result they forgive.
For one to be raised, one needs to be sacrificed. So if this life of ours is just two people, one is sacrificed and one is raised. Both can’t be raised otherwise he would have kept you in Paradise. By means of that sacrifice, a bad action, something wrong done by the other, the one being raised will be reach the station that Allah Azzo Jal wanted to grant to the servant. So when something bad is done to you, something angers you, (know that) Allah wanted to raise you.
He’s teaching that I wanted to give you a station when this test came to you. You’re praying for it. You’re praying for this station…So when someone is yelling at you and attacking you, think inside, ‘I’m being raised.’ Not that you beat that person (back). Because the one who came to do that to you is the one who is being sacrificed.”
In the test lay hidden the ease!
It is patience which allows for forgiveness in the first moment of any infraction, exactly as Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) instructed. I found it is in that order that the words appeared in the Quran, sabara wa ghfara. Patience precedes forgiveness:
وَلَمَن صَبَرَ وَغَفَرَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ ٱلْأُمُورِ
And whoever is patient and forgives, indeed, that is surely of matters of real resolve.
Surah Al Shu’ara, Verse 63
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa laman sabara: And the one who adopts patience, those who are from amongst the Madlomeen, who have been wronged and oppressed with unfair treatment, and he did not ask for help and he did not seek revenge from his oppressor, suppressing his anger and bearing it (the maltreatment)..,
Wa ghafara: and forgives and lets go, returning his attention to Allah, desirous of reward only from Him, Subhanahu.
Inna dalika: Indeed that (act) of forgiveness and letting go, despite having the power to do otherwise…
La min azmir umoor: is of the affairs which are preferred by those who have determination and correct resolve, who are especially favoured by Allah, and they are the ones who see by the Grace of God everything they experience as a gift or as a tribulation, and they keep their nafs, the self, contented upon Allah’s Pleasure no matter what comes upon them from His Decision.
Perhaps that’s why patience was what created the other exception from khusr - state of loss, immense and humiliating failure, as the verse from Al Asr continued:
وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ
… and enjoin (each other) to the truth and enjoin (each other) to patience.
Surah Al Asr, Verse 3
Wa: And in this condition…
Tawasau bil Haq: they enjoin each other towards the Path of God and His One-ness…
Wa tawasau: and they also enjoin each other…
Bis sabr: 1. towards patience for the practice of matters that require obedience
2. and (patience towards) their tiredness from striving hard
3. and (patience towards) from what they suffer as a result of cutting themselves off from their love of the world
4. and (patience towards) leaving their animalistic desires which are attached to human nature.
Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) forgave everyone everything. That is what he then commanded us to do. Every time I was disobedient to that order, I brought pain upon myself. Definitely distress. Every time I obeyed it, I felt peace. The verse 64 from Surah An Nisa became my mantra.
Through my blessed Prophet’s (peace be upon him and his family) teaching, I learnt to invoke it immediately after a transgression instead of festering in my misery for hours or days. I knew the forgiveness came instantly because however badly felt before, I felt totally calm after.
The words of the lecture echoed in my mind:
“Ma’roof is that which my fitrat knows and recognizes as good and munkir is that which my iftrat knows is sinful and wrong. So the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) sent does not command anything that the fitrat dislikes and only commands that which it already knows as good.”
For the one who was the perfect manifestation in his manner of Allah’s Attributes was only showing in his own practice what was Allah’s Way in His; merciful.
وَرَحْمَتِى وَسِعَتْ كُلَّ شَىْءٍۢ ۚ
My Mercy encompasses everything
Surah Al Araaf, Verse
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa rahmati wasi’at kulli shayan: My Mercy encompasses every single thing from the Al Muta’een, the obedient ones and the Al A’sieen, the sinners and others from them.
When we translated the words, the sinners, Qari Sahib was reminded of a story!
“Once Hazrat Musa (as) asked Allah Subhanahu, “in which way do you respond to your Servants?”
Allah Ta’ala said, “If they are doers of good deeds, I say Labaik – I am here. If they are wrongdoers, I say it thrice. Labaik, Labaik, Labaik!”
Hazrat Musa (as) was surprised.
“Thrice for the sinner and only once for the obedient?”
Allah Subhanahu responded, “Musa, My Servant who tries to do good deeds, they have hope that those deeds will count for something before Me. But the sinner, who has no deeds to offer, they only and only count on my Mercy.”
Subhan Allah!
When I told Qari Sahib the only person I might choose in a new life was my mother, he said knowingly.
“It’s because you never found sincerity in any other relationship in this world.”
But the “enemy” is also the mirror who makes appear one’s own self in the clearest reflection. That and a true friend! Which is why Maula e Kayinaat (as) says, “A friend is better than all the treasures in the world.”
Pain is acknowledged as the impetus for the most momentum in a spiritual journey. The Path of Qurb, Closeness, is paved with humiliation. Not just closeness to Allah Subhanahu but all human beings as well. The upside is that the Path itself, for those who surrender willingly to Allah’s Will and try to submit to His Beloved (peace be upon him and his family) tread each step of it, clinging on to The Rope of His Names, cradling the hope that the Quran captures in a single line most perfectly:
وَلَلْءَاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكَ مِنَ ٱلْأُولَىٰ
For indeed, the life to come will be better for you than this earlier part (of your life)
Surah Ad Duha, Verse 4
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa lil akhiratu: And the life which is yours to come in the Lahoot, Realm of Noor, Divine Light…
Khair ul laka: is better and more suitable and befitting for your state…
Min: than your life …
Al ula: earlier, which is your life in this world of the Nasoot, the physical existence.
“And how can it not be, the Afterlife better for you than the world, when it is everlasting in the Permanence of Allah Subhanahu, eternal due to His Eternity. While this world is an appearance of falsehood, perishing everything which is in it because of its perishable nature and its belongings and the things which are taken from it.”
Ghaus Pak (ra) says we are the shadows of Allah again and again in his tafseer of the Quran.
وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ ٱلْوَرِيدِ
and We are nearer to him than his jugular vein.
Surah Qaf, Verse 16
Nahnu aqrab ilayhi min habl al wareed: We are nearer to him than his jugular vein i.e. it is the example of the utmost closeness as said the Prophet (peace be upon him), “Death is closer to me than my jugular vein” and the mention of the jugular vein is for the purposes of illustration and overall: “We are closer to him than his own self.”
“And overall: We according to Our Spirit which is blown in him from the Realm of the Lahoot where matter ceases to exist, are closer to him than his Nasoot, his physical existence in the world. There is no doubt about the distance (between Us and him) yet there is no mixing in this path and there is no union and there is no dissolving and no co-joining.
But it is like the closeness of a shadow and a reflection and it is the highest form of Allah’s Closeness and most perfect encompassing of a human being.”
Then again in the verse that I utter most often in my prayers, that culturally we have locked in for death alone, he says it most explicitly and magnificently: We are shadow in a constant state of returning towards The One who created the shadows.
Inna: Indeed, We are a shadow…
Lillah: of Allah Al Wahid The One and Only, Al Ahad The Only One, Al Mutajjali, The One who reveals and unveils with His Perfect Names and His Exalted Attributes in this world…
Wa inna: and indeed we are, after our returning in the afterworld…
Ilayhi: towards Him and not towards anyone other than Him from the shadows (of association)…
Raji’oon: the ones returning, the ones who make the returning of the shadow towards The One who created the shadows.
The possibility of beautifying deed so as to be loved by one’s Creator becomes real for anyone who Nabi Pak (peace be upon him and his family) sends a prayer upon by name in the namaz; the Saliheen!
When I starting saying my namaz knowing that, whenever the verse emanated from my tongue, my heart expressed a gratefulness to my Nabi (peace be upon him and his family) for saying the prayer, for saying the word and creating a possibility of inclusion for me.
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْنَا وَعَلَى عِبَادِ اللَّهِ الصَّالِحِينَ
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,
“Peace be upon us and the Saliheen.”
It was the only category of people in the sala’t of all the ones mentioned in the Quran: the Shakireen, the Sabireen, the Mu’qineen, the Muttaqeen and so on. It was the ask of Prophets to be counted amongst them and be connected to them.
تَوَفَّنِى مُسْلِمًۭا وَأَلْحِقْنِى بِٱلصَّلِحِينَ
Cause me to die as a Muslim, and join me with the righteous."
Hazrat Yusuf, Verse 101
Tafseer e Jilani
Then prayed Hazrat Yousuf (as) for himself and he said softly to his Lord, a prayer, that uttered from him only with wisdom, intellect and reasoning, with his invocation:
Tawwafini: Make me die and take my soul…
Muslim-an: surrendering, entrusting all my matters to you…
Walhiqni: and join me, with Your Special Favour…
Bi saliheen: with the righteous ones who are the ones who reformed their selves in this life and the Hereafter until they achieved success from You with the honour of meeting You.
The meaning of the word appeared: the ones who reformed themselves!
Then came the word in a prayer by another Prophet, Suleman (as), when he heard the ant speak what was revealed to it by God:
وَأَدْخِلْنِى بِرَحْمَتِكَ فِى عِبَادِكَ ٱلصَّلِحِينَ
And admit me by Your Mercy among Your Servants Righteous."
Surah An Naml, Verse 19
Tafseer e Jilani
Wa: And after You cause me to die…
Adkhilni bi rahmatika: make me enter by Your Mercy and Your Expansive Bounty and Your Extensive Nobleness…
Fi: in the group of…
Ibadika as Saliheen: the ones who please You, the ones who are accepted by You and count me amongst them and raise me among their set. Indeed, You do what You want, You are Qadeer, All Powerful and You are Worthy of the hope that the hopeful place upon You.
“The ones who please You, the ones who are accepted by You.”
The word reminded me of another verse where those in a constant state of striving, which is how I had come to understand those who were perpetually in a state of reform, created for themselves the possibility of being exceptional as a human being. In the context of deed again being saleh!
A verse extremely well known from Surah At-Tin. Man was first created the most perfect, then stripped from that rank because of deed – “chains of desires, shackles of endless hopes.” Then allowed the possibility of re-entry through the same; deed!
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَنَ فِىٓ أَحْسَنِ تَقْوِيمٍۢ
And We created Man in the best mould
Surah Teen, Verse 4
And after Allah takes oaths all great, He says…
Laqad khalaqnal insaana: Indeed, We created all Mankind…
Fi ahsan e taqweem: in the best form and the most balanced proportions because no other Creation is created more perfectly in form than them and they are perfectly formed in terms of their zahir, overt and batin, inner being. For this reason, We chose Man for our Vice-Regency from amongst all of Our Creation.
ثُمَّ رَدَدْنَهُ أَسْفَلَ سَفِلِينَ
Then We returned him to the lowest of the low,
Surah Teen, Verse 5
Summa: Then after this We willed differently, because of his wicked deeds…
Radadnahu: and returned him to the lowest of the low and we displaced him from that highest rank and that highest honour…
Asfala safeleen: to the lowest of the low and this is the set-up of the world, which causes them to to enter the valleys of fire and which is their chains of desires and which is their shackles of endless hopes.
إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّلِحَتِ فَلَهُمْ أَجْرٌ غَيْرُ مَمْنُونٍۢ
Except those who believe and do righteous deeds, then for them is a reward never ending.
Surah Teen, Verse 5
Illaladina amino: Except for the ones who are certain of the One-ness of God…
Wa amilo salihaat: and do good deeds that are deeply sincere, free from all the entrapments of the world. Deeds that will bring them close to Allah’s Essence.
Fa lahum: So for them, after that when they reach (again) the highest ranks towards the Alim e Lahoot, the Realm of Allah…
Ajrun ghairu mamnoon: are endless blessings that will never finish and nor will Allah mention His Favour ever for giving them.
“Wa salaawatu, the second offering, is of worship offered in the form of deeds.”
After my first Umra when I saw Muslims from different countries praying in the same place at the same time, I used to think that everybody’s prayer was different because of how they placed their bodily parts in each posture. Feet together, feet apart, hands at all levels of the upper body, the manner in which the hands were clasped, the angles of the prostration, everything was unique. But that was just the overt.
The way in which each namaz is actually different is in the words the qalb chooses and the tongue speaks. Or the other way around, I don’t know! There were Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) who just repeated the salam upon him hundreds of times. Sitting there, saying that one line over and over – As salamu alaika Ayyoha an Nabiyyo wa Rahmatullahe wa Barakatuhu - because they knew the salam was returned and they hoped one day their ears would hear the sound of that return. And they did!
I guess it made sense. If no two things otherwise in the Universe were alike, why would the utterance of the prayer between The Worshipped and the Worshipper be. After 51 years I was beginning to see why the one who shared every single thing he was bestowed by His Lord only for himself (peace be upon him and his family) said; “The sala’t is the Mairaj of the Mo’min.” Each could make of it what they want.
One of Allah’s Names is Al Adl, The Just.
“From the root ayn, laam, daal, which has the following classical Arabic connotations: to act justly, fairly, equitably, to adjust properly, to make even, to straighten, to rectify, to establish justice or balance. To make equal, uniform, to turn one away from something, rightly, direct, to make comfortable with what is right.”
I was blown away by the last possible meaning of the word: to turn one away from something, to make comfortable with what is right. The Name had come to my mind after the I translated the last verse for this piece, which I couldn’t otherwise bring myself to end. I chose the verse because of its possibility of a life without sadness and grief, not just for Allah Subhanahu’s Friends but a base human being like me!
بَلَىٰ مَنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُۥ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌۭ فَلَهُۥٓ أَجْرُهُۥ عِندَ رَبِّهِۦ
وَلَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ
Yes, whoever submits his face to Allah and he is a good-doer, so for him is his reward with his Lord. And no fear will come upon them and not will they grieve.
Surah Al Baqarah, Verse 112
Tafseer e Jilani
Say to them, O Akmal Ar Rasul, O Messenger who completes the Message, (peace be upon you and your family), in speech arising only from wisdom and sincerity, “There is no reason that makes Heaven exclusive for anyone amongst you or among us (the Muslims versus people of other faiths).
Bala: In fact the reality is that…
Man aslama wajhahu: the one who submitted his face and surrenders his entire self…
Lillahe: which is belonging to Allah in actuality…
Wa huwa: and he is in himself…
Muhsin-un: the one who is Aarif-un Mushaahid-un, the one who has Our Recognition and witnesses Our Presence…
Fa lahu ajruhu: so for him is a reward, his destiny and his purpose…
Inda: (with) a rank, near…
Rabbihi: his Lord, especially for him…
Wa la khauf-un alayhim wa la yahzanoon: and they feel no fear upon them nor do they grieve so they are above and beyond the acceptance of fear and sadness and the demands of nature and they are forever with a special rank with their Lord.
Sheikh Nurjan (ra) explained why the verse on forgiveness commands us to go to Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) and ask in front of him:
“You didn’t do anything against Allah Azzo Jal but when you realize later in life that your soul came from the Ocean of Muhammad Ar Rasool Allah (peace be upon him and his family) you understand. Every time you do something bad, it’s as if you are trying to harm the reality of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family).
You don’t harm Allah Azzo Jal because He is in La ilaha illallaha but since you are in Muhammad Ar Rasool Allah (peace be upon him and his family). Every time you do something bad, Allah Azzo Jal says, “Go to him and ask for forgiveness.”
For he is closer to you than your own self!
النَّبِيُّ أَوْلَىٰ بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ مِنْ أَنفُسِهِمْ ۖ
The Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) is closer to the believers than their own selves.
Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse 6
Tafseer e Jilani
Then showed Subhanahu the teaching of the manners of His Nabi (peace be upon him and his family) to all nations, he who has the full support of his Subhanahu in all kinds of aid and miracles beyond ordinary routine, who was sent towards them for their guidance and their perfection and to command them to have excellent manners with all the Prophets and be in their service and honor them forever.
So how will they not have the best manners with the Prophets and the Messengers (as) because every Prophet for his nation is like an affectionate and kind father for them. In fact, he, Nabi Kareem (peace be upon and his family), is the best of all these fathers, who leads them (these Prophets) towards those things that are better for them in their religions which is the actual life for them.
So it is compulsory for them, everyone, to be in the station of subservience and completely bent in humility and being respectful in everything, even more so than what Allah as ordered upon them (in the Quran), more than the rights of their own sons (like Hazrat Ismail (as), the sons of Hazrat Luqman (as), Hazrat Isa (as)), because the effects of the training of the Prophets are since forever and everlasting.
And the effects of the ancestors’ training dissipate from generation to generation. And if their training to be respectful with humility with him, Nabi Pak (peace be upon him and his family), is passed on it it will their reward for the Hereafter. So training them in this way (to be respectful to him) is in actuality the teachings of their Prophets.
And there is no doubt that our Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) is afdal al anbiya, the most honoured of the Prophets and perfects them in nourishing and in guidance. So his being a father is also perfect and so his tenderness and his mercy for his nation, which is the best of the nations in completeness and in number.
That is why Allah Subhanahu says:
An Nabi: This is the Prophet (peace be upon him and his family), the Communicator of the hidden news, the one who is fully supported and sent to all the nations to perfect the excellence of manners and the good habits, who is the completer of the knowledge of the religion and who completes the way of A Ma’rifa, Recognition of Allah, and Al Yaqeen, certainty…
Aula bil Mo’mineen: is closer to the believers and has more rights over them than their own selves so that they give him preference over themselves and they choose his happiness and delight…
Min anfusihim: over their own selves because their overt beings are a function of his tarbiyat, teachings just like it is a result of the teachings of a father, tender and caring, who safeguards his son from every useless thing. He is Al Muraqib for him, watching over him in all his states so that he connects him to the everlasting life and infinite and eternal existence.
In a sense I realize I too lived in a cave. Treading the path of humiliation from one end of it to another without an exit in sight. And I too became used to that darkness.
But I am not in love with my darkness. I yearn to shirk it. When a ray of light pierces my being, I embrace it. I follow it hoping for more rays. All light finds its way to me by way of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) and his blessed family. The Spiritual Masters, all the silsilas, are from the lineage of Imam Hassan (as) and then Ghaus Pak (ra) and all the Imams, including the one who is to come, are the blood of the Ahl e Bait who emerge from Imam Hussain (as). There has always been only one origin, one fountainhead, Allah’s Habeeb (peace be upon him and his family).
On the 8th of Muharram, Qari Sahib went to visit my aunt who had been unwell. When I went to see her later, she remarked, “He says, your teacher, that your parents must be wearing crowns of noor because of you.”
I smiled. “Because of Ghaus Pak (ra)," I said lowering my eyes. “Because we translate the Tafseer e Jilani. Yes, he said the same to me.”
“Your parents, they must be so happy,” she said smiling.
“Even my father?” I laughed, surprising myself with the slight bitterness that edged my tone. I didn’t mention him much since he passed away a year and a half ago. Nobody I knew did. He was absentee to begin with and after my mother’s passing, not easy is the best I can do to avoid speaking unkindly of the dead.
It felt strange that something I might do, only by virtue of being granted ability by Allah Al Muwaffiq, would benefit him so wonderfully. In the only way one wants to be benefitted in the other world.
On the 9th, Qari Sahib and I had translated the verse about Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him and his family) being closer to the Mo’mineen than their own selves. Later when I was editing the piece, I kept stopping at the places where Ghaus Pak (ra) uses the word “father.”
The best of all the fathers…perfect…tender…merciful.
And then in the verse itself: He is…
Aula bil Mo’mineen: closer to the believers and has more rights over them than their own selves so that they give him preference over themselves and they choose his happiness and delight…
Min anfusihim: over their own selves because their overt beings are a function of his tarbiyat, teachings just like it is a result of the teachings of a father, tender and caring, who safeguards his son from every useless thing. He is Al Muraqib for him, watching over him in all his states so that he connects him to the everlasting life and infinite and eternal existence.
When I broke the fast and prayed Maghrib that evening, I cried throughout the sala’t. I didn’t say any Name of God. I just let the tears stream down my face and when I came to the part of the salam upon his being, I sobbed.
All days end and new ones begin. Pain dissipates over time unless it is clung to willfully. That is the evidence of the Mercy of the Divine which overwhelms everything. Hazrat Muhyuddin Ibn e Arabi (ra) said his namaz with a single sentence as his intention:
أريد أن أصلي قربة لله
Ureedu an ussali-a li qurba tal lillah
I want to pray to gain closeness to Allah Subhanahu!
I amend that invocation for myself adding two words: wa Rusoolahu – And I want to pray to gain closeness to His Prophet (peace be upon him and his family).
If the path of qurb is paved with degradation, I know one day I will only learn through him to bear it in excellence, a manner worthy of bearing it. Till then I welcome the guises in which humiliation appears. For in all of them, when it doesn’t emanate from me, will be, like the pearl in a shell, the upside that it carries within it.
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