the 7th of Rajab

A Long Time Coming

 

رجب شھر الزرع و شعبان شھر السقی و رمضان شھر الحصاد

 

Rajab is the month of planting and Sha’ban is the month of watering

and Ramadan is the month of reaping.

Imam Abdul Qadir Jilani (ra)

 

On the 30th of December, I attended my first wedding in five years. Five days later I came down with a fever. It was only 99 so I didn’t think anything of it. A day later, on a friend’s suggestion, I took a COVID test. It came out positive. For a few minutes I just stared at it and one thought ran through my mind. No two. The first was when exactly I had not been in a state of ablution that had not sealed my body from a jab from a jinn. The second was did I regret going to the wedding.

 

I couldn’t figure out the first precisely. My ablutions had been getting increasingly less thorough because of the cold. Even though I never turned the water to warm because Qari Sahib had said, “Allah likes two things immensely; the fast of the summer and the ablution with cold water.”

 

I couldn’t regret the wedding. It was the first wedding of my friends’ children and this was one of my closest friend’s sons. One of two boys amongst the lot who I loved like I might have loved my own. His name was Shahmir. The other was Zamin.

 

I had a trip to Karachi planned like I did every year to exit Lahore as soon as it became unbearably cold. That was obviously cancelled and I prepared to isolate for at least 10 days. I was grateful that if I was going to contract the illness, it was of the version that seemed to be the mildest. In my room, I decided to work on the video that, in a sense, was taking me a year to make; for the 13th of Rajab, the birth of Maula e Kayinaat, Hazrat Ali (as).

 

Over the last two years I had made seven videos, all of them spectacular. The kalam, verse, was stupefying beautiful. Ustad Imran’s rendition of them only became more perfect. His last one for the birthday celebration of Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) had literally blown a hole in the sky. I had learnt that phrase from a painting by Georgis O’Keefe at the Seattle Art Museum.

 

"I want real things - live people to take hold of - to see - to talk to - music that makes holes in the sky."

 

I was using it incessantly.

 

I had been deeply disappointed by my inability to bring everything together for the video the year before but now everything was falling into place. I found someone who was reputed to be one of the best sitar players in town. His name was Rakae which in itself deserves a story because it was the same as a word from the narration in the video. The story was beautiful.

 

It was one of the instances, of which scholars count at least 300 if not much more, where a verse of the Quran was revealed solely for the blessed Imam (ratu). In this case giving charity while in ruku,’ specifically the position in the salat where one touches their hands upon their knees, thus always translated as “bowing in prayer.”

 

Lord only knows how many times I had paused my own position in ruku’ to imagine what he had done, what it must have felt like. Which I couldn’t really because anyone else moving their hand like that, to loosen a ring, would have nullified the prayer and had to start it over from the beginning.

 

When the Imam (as) did it a verse was revealed.

 

إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ

وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَهُمْ رَاكِعُونَ

 

Only are your true helpers Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him)

and those who have attained to faith,

the ones who are firmly immersed in their prayers,

who give the dutied charity that purifies,

while they bow in worship.

Surah Al Maidah, Verse 55

 

The video was different from the onset. It didn’t start with the traditional beginning I had always used; either the Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim – In the Name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful or the Kalima – the first pillar of Islam and the utterance that makes one a Muslim – La ilaha illallaha Muhammad Ar Rasool Allah – There is no Presence except that of Allah and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His Messenger.

 

I had commissioned a letter from an artist friend, Abeda. The letter “Baa” which begins the Bismillah verse and placed a hugely significant quote next to it;

 

Verily, all secrets of the Divine Books are in the Quran,

and all knowledge of the Qur'an is in Surah Al-Fatihah,

and all knowledge of Al-Fatihah is in

“Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim,”

In the Name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful

and all knowledge of “Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim” is in its “Baa,”

(the first letter of 'Bismillah')

and all knowledge of the “Baa” is in the dot below it

and Imam Ali (ratu) said, I am that dot under the “Baa.”

 

I had decided to use the exegesis of the verse in the video rather than a simple translation. That was the bounty of studying verses of the Qura0n from the Tafseer e Jilani by Ghaus Pak (ra). It was magnificent.

 

In my days of isolation I didn’t have much to do so I continued my classes with Qari Sahib online. I had been storing a list of verses I had chosen from different lectures by Uzair and we would study them from the Tafseer e Jilani one by one. On my own, I had been reading the Urdu translation of Surah Tauba and it was blowing me away.

 

Tauba is the Surah of Repentance. Needless to say it is intense. It is also the only Surah that doesn’t start with the verse every other Surah starts with; Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Rahim, In the Name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful. I didn’t know why that was. I tried googling it but only came across a lot of debate and differences in opinion that seemed tied to maslak, the ideology of different sects.

 

I asked Qari Sahib what he had heard about it.

 

“The main reason is that the angel Hazrat Gibrael (as) did not bring it with him for this Surah.”

 

He also gave me the reason from Imam Ali (as).

 

“The Surah Tauba was revealed to raise the sword against the infidels. Hence it did not start with Allah’s Mercy.”

 

The verses in Surah Tauba which struck me the most started with one in which a question is posed to the reader; where have you set the foundation of your faith? Which I ended up summarizing as; Is it upon being mindful of your Lord or upon deprivation and humiliation?

 

‏أَفَمَنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَنَهُۥ عَلَىٰ تَقْوَىٰ مِنَ ٱللَّهِ وَرِضْوَنٍ خَيْرٌ

أَم مَّنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَنَهُۥ عَلَىٰ شَفَا جُرُفٍ هَارٍۢ فَٱنْهَارَ بِهِۦ فِى نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ ۗ

وَٱللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِى ٱلْقَوْمَ ٱلظَّلِمِينَ ‎

 

Which is better, the one who has founded his building on God-conscious and a desire for His acceptance,

or he who has founded his building on the edge of a crumbling cliff that will tumble with him into Hellfire?

God does not guide people who are deliberately unjust.

Surah Tauba, Verse 109

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Afaman assassa: Is he, the one who laid his foundation and placed it…

 

Bunyanahu ala: supported by a strong beam, and a heavy pillar that is…

 

Taqwa: God-consciousness i.e. safe-guarding and fortressing…

 

Min Allah: from Allah i.e. from His Anger and His Displeasure…

 

Wa: and he…

 

Ridwanin: sought Allah’s Pleasure and a great reward and high ranks from Him…

 

Kahirun am man assassa bunyanahu ala shafa jurufin haarin: or is the one better, who has founded his building on the edge of a crumbling cliff i.e. the edge of a valley which has water in it and has rain falling upon it and it crumbles and some of it will still be destroyed more and make the rest disintegrate as well? So he placed his foundation on this

 

Fa anhara bihi: and thus he fell…

 

Fi naari jahannuma: in the fires of Hell i.e. a deep valley, very wide, full of the fire of deprivation and humiliation.

 

Wallahu: And Allah is Al Haadi, The True Guide, for his sincere worshippers.

 

La yahdil qaum ad-dalimeen: He does not guide the people who are of the Zalimeen, the ones who have left acting upon the things which He has ordered and forbidden.

 

It was the next verse that had pierced my own heart like an arrow even though I didn’t think my “foundation” was placed on anything other than raising spiritual consciousness. It was the idea of harbouring desires that were not going to be achieved and how they were shredding the heart. It sounded like Chinese torture. Doubt falling drop by drop upon the same place, tearing it to pieces. All the while not even knowing what was happening and therefore causing a continuing of the pain because of being set on something whose fulfillment had been fated not possible.

 

It’s not like I hadn’t been there myself. But I was younger. The desires were more inane. One forgot them. Or was it just that these days there was someone in my house I was looking after and that made those memories fade entirely? I couldn’t honestly tell.

 

Maybe the simple truth was just that at an older age, if one got consumed by a want, its effects were devastating. I had noticed it in people around me. Even though some of them were only in their 30s. When I thought about I realized that that people’s pain seemed to be always rooted in the same place; loneliness.

 

It was the Quran that had revealed to me that the state was masked in pain but it was born in anger. I wasn’t even touching the second part it mentioned – wickedness of nature. The obstacle was always the self; the absolute denial around one’s own fault, one’s own role in the “delusion.”

 

‏لَا يَزَالُ بُنْيَنُهُمُ ٱلَّذِى بَنَوْا۟ رِيبَةًۭ فِى قُلُوبِهِمْ إِلَّآ أَن تَقَطَّعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ ۗ

وَٱللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ ‎

 

The building they built will always be a source of skepticism within their hearts until their hearts are torn to pieces.

Allah knows everything and He is Wise

Surah Tauba, Verse 110

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

And because of the intensity of their anger and wickedness of their inner being…

 

La yazalu bunyanuhum alladi banawu: the building they built will just inherit and increase…

 

Ribatan: doubts and these ambiguities will increase…

 

Fi qulibihim: in their hearts, drop by drop…

 

Illa an taqatta’a qulubuhum: except that it (that doubt) will cut their hearts with the fire of desires that cannot be fulfilled and their hearts will be shredded and disappear because of the trials of being punished to the extent that they will never know.

 

Wallahu aleem-un: And Allah is All Knowing of their hidden delusion in their breasts.

 

Hakeem: (Allah is) All Wise who decides the recompense for it (that delusion) and how to call them to question over it.

I guess when one awaits the possibility of love pining for someone who has to appear or reappear, it’s hard to turn it around and see how that want could be exactly what’s causing the pain. It seems so natural a craving, so human.

 

Some of my loved ones were appearing to be in in the same predicament whether they were single or coupled. I spent my time thinking about what to tell them that might bring ease. Each situation was so unique except for that commonality of disappointment around feeling alone.

 

I had been coming across a few verses as cures to shake off the state. My favourite find was the following; charity that increased and blessed and purified but more than any of that, brought one the prayers of Allah’s Habeeb (peace be upon him). With that prayer came “forgiveness from God” and “sakoon, tranquility” and ended “the distractions that hindered the taste of spirituality.” And that wasn’t even all of it. Beyond the troika of perfection were other blessings upon blessings!

 

خُذْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ صَدَقَةًۭ تُطَهِّرُهُمْ وَتُزَكِّيهِم بِهَا وَصَلِّ عَلَيْهِمْ ۖ

إِنَّ صَلَوٰتَكَ سَكَنٌۭ لَّهُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ

 

Take from their wealth a charity, purifying them and cause them increase in it and bless them.

Indeed, your prayers are a comfort for them.

And Allah is The Hearer of All, The Knower of Everything.

Surah Tauba, Verse 103

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Khud: Accept, O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (peace be upon you)…

 

Min amwalihim: from their possessions of those who are Al Mudnibeen, sinners and Al Tai’been, the repenters and Al Nadimeen the ones who are regretful, of that which has happened from them because of their going against you, when they asked for your permission that you leave this matter…

 

Sadqatan tuttahirruhum: (Accept) alms so you purify them from the filth of their nature that they are crazy about, which is love of possessions and the greed of gathering them and increasing them…

 

Wa tuzzakihim biha: by which you cleanse their batin, inner beings, from distractions that hinder them from the taste of spirituality…

 

Wa salle alaihim: and pray for them and ask for their maghfirat, forgiveness for their sins, and pray for them the prayer of all goodness.

 

Inna salaataka: Indeed your prayer and your caring for their states…

 

Sakana al lahum: brings inner peace for their hearts and dignity and calmness and the means of their being steadfast and firmly footed in the Realm of Allah’s Tauheed, His One-ness and Imaan, faith.

 

Wallahu: And Allah, Al Muraqib, The One who watches over them in all their states is…

 

Samee-un: All Hearing of their sincerity and their secret conversations with him…

 

Aleem-un: All Knowing of their intentions and their needs.

The remarkable thing is that the extreme difficulty of loneliness makes a human being the most vulnerable to waswasa, that which causes paranoia and doubt, from Iblis and devastation by one’s own nafs, the base self. Being alone renders one exposed to whispers of dismay. Iblis sows the seed, the nafs runs with it.

 

It could make the most patient person hasty, the most mild person perpetually agitated, the most grateful person an incessant complainer, the most pleasant person impossible to be around, the softest person harder than a rock, a loving person numb and indifferent, the generous person unimaginably miserly. Hearts that were open closed. Faces that were lit became ashen. Light turned to darkness.

 

In becoming their opposite, the loneliness also became the conduit for heedlessness, the opposite of being mindful. I discovered that accidently while reading the Tafseer e Tustari in my days of isolation. I was focusing on Surah Taha but then happened to come across the last line of Surah 7, Al Araaf.

 

Hazrat Sahel Tustari defined heedlessness for the ordinary. It was pride and pride was the root of the two sides of the coin of sadness; anger and self-pity.

 

The source of tranquility, other than God, caused negligence for the ordinary because they became arrogant over it.

 

[[7:205] …and do not be of the heedless…

 

وَلَا تَكُن مِّنَ ٱلْغَفِلِينَ ‎

 

And do not be among the heedless.

Surah Al Araaf, Verse 205

 

Hazrat Sahl (ra) said: “In truth I say to you without any falsehood, in certainty without a doubt, that any person who spends a breath in other than God’s Remembrance does so while being heedless of God, Mighty and Majestic is He.”

 

He also said: “Heedlessness (ghafla) among the elite (khāṣṣ) is finding (sukūn) peace in anything [other than Him]. Heedlessness among the ordinary (ʿāmm) is taking pride (iftikhār) in anything [other than Him], that is to say, it is feeling proud of that tranquility.”

 

In all of this, I noticed that one thing seems to surface and then prevail; the inability to be loving, the absence of warmth, which was the only reason Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) said he was bestowed to humanity.

 

عن جابر بن عبد الله قال : لما نزلت سورة "براءة" قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : بعثت بمداراة الناس

 

From Jābir b. ʿAbd Allāh (may God be pleased with them all), that he reported that when Sūrat Barāʾa (Tauba) was sent down, the Messenger of God said,

 

“I was sent to treat people with affability (mudārāt).”

 

It was not lost on me that the Mercy of the Universe (peace be upon him) said that just as the Surah came that brought with it pronouncements of war while he highlighted friendliness.

I looked up the entire verse in the Tafseer e Jilani to study its first part. I was curious about everything in it, the soundlessness of voice for starters.

 

‏وَٱذْكُر رَّبَّكَ فِى نَفْسِكَ تَضَرُّعًۭا وَخِيفَةًۭ

وَدُونَ ٱلْجَهْرِ مِنَ ٱلْقَوْلِ بِٱلْغُدُوِّ وَٱلْءَاصَالِ

وَلَا تَكُن مِّنَ ٱلْغَفِلِينَ ‎

 

And remember your Lord in yourself humbly and in fear

and without the loudness of the words in the mornings and in the evenings.

And do not be among the heedless.

Surah Al Araaf, Verse 205

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Then addressed Allah Subhanahu, Exalted is He, His Habeeb (peace be upon him) because addresses like these were only for his capacity and capability and could only be encompassed by his heart.

 

So He said…

 

Wadkur: Remember and remain in certainty…

 

Rabbaka: of your Lord, O Beloved (peace be upon you), who made you appear in His Form…

 

Fi nafsika: in your self because you are His Appearance…

 

Tadarruan wa kheefatan: humbly and in secret, with (your) humility expressed in the softest voice, being fearful of the heedlessness that exists in the world…

 

Wa doonal jahar e minal qawli: and without raising the sound of your voice, hiding it from those who are veiled and those who are ignorant of your ranks and respecting Allah Subhanahu…

 

Bil ghuduwi wal aasaal: in all time (from morning till evening) which passes upon you according to your being a human.

 

Wa: and overall…

 

La takun min al ghafileen: do not be of the heedless as you are, due to your certainty, on the Station of Divine Witnessing.

 

In looking up the hadith in Arabic, I had come upon another hadith that was beautiful;

 

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مُغَفَّلٍ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ

إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ

 

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

“Verily, Allah is Gentle and He loves gentleness.”

 

The only other thing cure I found for what appeared to be everything wrong was surprising: hunger!

 

[[20:81] Eat of the good things We have provided for you, but do not transgress regarding them…]

 

‏كُلُوا۟ مِن طَيِّبَتِ مَا رَزَقْنَكُمْ وَلَا تَطْغَوْا۟ فِيهِ فَيَحِلَّ عَلَيْكُمْ غَضَبِى ۖ

 

Eat of the good things which We have provided you and do not transgress therein,

lest should descend upon you My Anger.

Surah Taha, Verse 81

 

Hazrat Sahel (ra) said, “His words, Exalted is He, concerning this are [an admonition] that you should eat from them [the good things provided by God] in order to sustain yourselves, and should not satiate yourselves to the extent that you reach a state of intoxication (sukr) in which you are diverted from the remembrance [of God], for intoxication is forbidden.”

 

I had heard of intoxication being forbidden for all kinds of substances in arguments between the drinkers of alcohol and smokers of weed my whole life. What was mentioned by word in the Quran and what wasn’t. This was the first time I saw it in the context of food.

 

And Hazrat Sahel (ra) said: “Whoever forces hunger upon himself, his blood will decrease in proportion to that, and in proportion to how much his blood decreases, evil suggestions (waswasa) will be blocked from entering his heart. If a mad person forced hunger upon himself he would become sane.”

 

Wow!

 

The Prophet said, ‘There is not a vessel more detestable to God than a stomach filled with food.’”

 

Two things stood out dramatically. The blocking of evil suggestions from imposing hunger upon oneself and that the stomach overly filled was detestable to God. I felt deeply grateful I had been granted the ability to fast once a week. Mondays! To celebrate the joyous occasion of Nabi Kareem’s most blessed birth. It never felt hard. The Universe celebrated Mondays. The days I missed were always because of a waswasa exactly at the time of keeping the fast. It always appeared in one word, the same one to prevent the prayer at dawn, “Sleep.”

 

But I was not about to tell anyone to try hunger to cause calm. People think the exact opposite, that hunger makes them agitated and anxious. Even though Shuggy Aunty has kept fasts for days on end where only water can be sipped at the times of keeping and opening them. Yet she was always smiling and full of energy when I met her in those days. I used to marvel at her and one day she told me, “When you worship in isolation for days you don’t feel it because Allah is your companion and when you fast for days with nothing, He feeds you.”

 

Meanwhile in the quietness of my room, I chose verses to translate that ended up revealing the glitch in my spiritual journey as related to sincerity. Why it was stubbornly missing for me in relationships and deeds? Why it was absent despite my longing for it, my awareness around it? The find was accidental and it was extraordinary.

 

The desire for ikhlas to be in my actions and feelings was sincere. The problem was that I wanted it to appear in my behaviour and attitude towards others – ghair Allah – when it was not yet there in my behaviour and attitude towards Him.

 

The first verse I studied had only caught my attention in a lecture by Uzair because of the words “And I am the first Muslim – the first to surrender.” 123,999 Prophets later, The Messenger (peace be upon him) who completed The Message had said in the Quran what he was commanded by his Lord to say; “Ana awwal ul Muslimeen.”

 

لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُۥ ۖ

وَبِذَٰلِكَ أُمِرْتُ وَأَنَا۠ أَوَّلُ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ

 

For Him there is no partner.

And thus I have been commanded, and I am the first one to surrender.”

Surah Al Anam, Verse 163

 

And thus the Tafseer e Jilani revealed to me that the One-ness of Allah, such that there is no Presence except His, pre-requisites that only He can be entrusted the fate of matters, all of them, and there is no sincerity unless it starts with Him.

 

La shakreeka lahu: He has no partner who can disagree with Him or be against Him or be His Equal or try to be like Him.

There is no Presence at all except for His.

 

Wa bi dalika: And because of this fact, there is no one to entrust matters to except Him and there is no sincerity except towards Him.

 

Umirtu: I was commanded (this entrusting to Him and sincerity towards Him) from His Own Self for only His Tauheed, His One-ness…

 

Wa ana awwal ul Muslimeen: and I am the first to surrender, I am the first to believe in the Essence of His Tauheed, I am the first reflection of the Essence of His Tauheed and I am the first reflector of the Essence of His Tauheed.

 

Subhan Allah!

 

I remarked on the part of the verse that raised a flag for me with Qari Sahib;

 

Wa bi dalika: And because of this fact, there is no one to entrust matters to except Him and there is no sincerity except towards Him.

 

“I never would have thought that sincerity could not be found in me because I had not been aware that the root of its existence has to come from my relationship with God. I was always focusing on its presence or absence with other human beings.”

 

An element of that sincerity was taking form for me in my entrusting matters to Allah Subhanahu since I had read that the entrusting had to be for everything;

 

Tafseer e Jilani: “And the point is this: don’t connect your affairs to your own selves but entrust over your matters, all of them, to Allah and truly connect them to Him, The Exalted, alone. And don’t rejoice and don’t be saddened but dissolve yourself in Allah and be granted forever-ness so that you gain – ‏فِى مَقْعَدِ صِدْقٍ عِندَ مَلِيكٍۢ مُّقْتَدِرٍۭ ‎- a place of honor near The King Most Powerful.”

 

Then came the bounty of the second verse of the day honing in on the same point. The conveyance of something to another, ordinary like me, could only be conveyed if there was no rayakari, element of showing off, and only if it was meant to wish others well and hope for perfection for them.

 

Hence if someone wanted to understand something I was saying, there could be no ulterior motive, no grudge, no expectation of return, no exchange, no showing off. On top of that I had to be gentle, affable, and then I came upon another passage in the Tafseer e Tustari that instructed me that I also had to embody excellence of manners by always being ‘good’ to others.”

 

[20:44] And speak to him gentle words...

 

‏فَقُولَا لَهُۥ قَوْلًۭا لَّيِّنًۭا لَّعَلَّهُۥ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوْ يَخْشَىٰ ‎

 

And speak to him a word gentle, perhaps he may take heed or fear."

Surah Taha, Verse 44

 

It was related from Ibn ʿAbbās that he said, ‘Moses , when he visited Pharaoh, would say to him, ‘O Abū Musʿab say: “There is no god except God and I am the Messenger of God”.’

 

Hazrat Sahl (ra) said: Truly God, Exalted is He, invested Moses with the robe of those who possess refined manners (mutaʾaddibūn), and He removed from him the hastiness of those who impulsively rush in (mutahajjimūn), due to the bounty (faḍl) and empowerment (tamkīn) that he found [from God].

 

However, He did not will for him [Pharaoh] faith (īmān), for had He willed it, He would have said, ‘So he may believe.’

 

Rather, God, Mighty and Majestic is He, intended by this [Command] that Moses should show graciousness (mulāṭafa) through the most beautiful discourse and gentlest speech, for this moves the hearts of all people, just as the Prophet said, ‘Hearts have been created with the disposition to love those who are good to them and to hate those who do wrong to them.’

 

Two things became crystal clear. The hadith was for the ordinary. The extraordinary were good everyone, especially those who mistreated them. The level of difficulty was still sky high. All my actions had shadows of motives, apparent or hidden. They brought with them expectation which when unmet turned to grudge at worst and a deep disappointment at best. My intention always revealed its murkiness to me later. I was in a constant state of showing off in front of my nafs.

 

A second verse from the same lecture by Uzair brought the point home clearly. This time I was drawn to Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) saying that he was commanded by His Lord to be sincere in the faith, drawn to the verse because of the word he used; mukhlis-an.

 

‏قُلْ إِنِّىٓ أُمِرْتُ أَنْ أَعْبُدَ ٱللَّهَ مُخْلِصًۭا لَّهُ ٱلدِّينَ ‎

 

Say, "Indeed, I, I am commanded that I worship Allah,

being sincere to Him in the religion.

 

Surah Az Zumar, Verse 11

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Then said Subhanahu, Exalted is He, commanding His Habeeb (peace be upon him) in order to guide him and to convey to His (other) ordinary worshippers, a thing He said that is specified for wisdom, empty of the desires of the nafs for showing-off (of the self), only and only for wishing well and perfection (for others);

 

Qul: Say O Messenger who completes Messenger-hood (peace be upon you)…

 

Inni umirtu: Indeed I have been ordered from My Lord…

 

An a’buda Allaha: that I worship Allah as is His Right to be worshipped and be obedient to Him as His Right to be obeyed…

 

Mukhlisal lahu deen: bringing sincerity into the religion and offering surrender from myself in such a way that I make both, my obedience and my surrender with sincerity, the means of reaching Him, so that I gain recognition of Him as is His Right to be recognized and He pours upon my heart the purified waters of His Tauheed, One-ness and His Karamat, His Honour.

 

The obedience was with sincerity, the surrender with sincerity!

In my last piece I wrote about my discovery from the Tafseer e Jilani of the first reason of disobedience. It was jahalat, ignorance. The second as it turns out is lack of patience. The third is kufr, ingratitude and the fourth nafaq, hypocrisy. Allah grants ability to those in which He sees the capacity for faith and qabiliyat, capacity for it. He grants it to those who turn to Him in truth and sincerity.

 

Again and again, sincerity!

 

In a class with Qari Sahib, he shed light on what causes hardness for a human being.

 

“The tongue is harsh because of ingratitude. The heart is hard because of persistence and insistence upon sin. Nabi Kareem (peace be upon him) said, “There are seven roads that lead to Medina.” 1400 years later, there are still seven. Not eight, not six. The heart also has seven roads that lead to it; the mouth, the two nostrils, the two eyes, the two ears.”

 

The number seven, of the facial parts, they reminded me of the Ayaan e Saabita, the Seven Attributes of Allah. The ones we also possess as human beings; Basarat, sight, Sama’at, hearing, Qudrat, Power, Kalam, speech, Hayat, life, Irada, intention and Ilm, Knowledge.

 

I listened to what he said intently. It was why again and again and over and over, the Quran highlights to be acutely conscious of what is allowed and forbidden. It’s always the first thing everyone ignores because it seems less important than other tenets. At 51, I’m still struggling with little things I am commanded yet cannot bring myself to do. It took me 49 years of my life to go halal. 49 of 51! That’s pretty late in the day for a “seeker.”

 

But in the last few month, it had become increasingly clear that the deeds of Allah’s Habeeb (peace be upon him), the emulation of those deeds was the only way to everything. It was what made an ordinary love special. It was the means to attain the grand prize; imaan, faith! I searched the word “forbid” in my 100 some verses that I had translated thus far from the Tafseer e Jilani:

 

Surah At-Taghabun, Verse 16: Wa ati’u: and obey His Commands and stay away from what He forbids and don’t become disobedient from His Orders at all.

 

The End of Al Araaf: That you do it in a way that the evil prompting of the plotter, Satan, does not come into your heart. Nor the betrayals of the world with their deceit and unfaithfulness. None of this will be achieved by you except with remembrance through Allah’s Book which has advice and information and history. So obey the commands it orders and forbids and reflect on its overt secrets and the unveiling of its wisdom and its hidden secrets.

 

It is incumbent upon you that if you want to receive true guidance from the Book, you have to join yourself with the ahadith of Rasool Allah (peace be upon him). Because the ahadith are meant to explain it, reveal the secrets and signs in it, and make clear that which is ambiguous in it. The ahadith will give you the security you need to have true belief and secure you from slipping and turning away from guidance. It is the ahadith that which take you, according to your capacity, to the path of One-ness.

 

Surah Al Araaf, Verse 201: Min Ash-Shaitan tadakkaru: they remind themselves of what they been commanded to do and what is forbidden for them from Allah…Fa idahum: so in the same moment, due to the remembrance of what has been commanded and that which is forbidden…Mubsiroon: they become able to differentiate the placement of the sins and therefore become careful of them and come into the Refuge of Allah from those things that put them into false illusions about Him.

 

Surah An-Nisa, Verse 59: Atiu’ Allah: You obey Allah by acting upon His Commands and avoiding what He has forbidden.

Sheikh Nurjan: There are 500 ma’moorat, obligations, that Allah ordered us to fulfill, and 800 manhiyyaat, things which are forbidden, that we must leave. How can one count and follow 500 orders and leave 800 forbidden actions?

 

If you repeat that word alone, “ati`ullah, ati`ullah, ati`ullah,” reminding yourself with it, then Allah Subhan Ta’ala will completely dress you as if you have fulfilled all 500 obligations and left the 800 forbiddens. Allahu Akbar! Then you continue with, “ati`ur-Rasool, obey the Prophet,” and with Allah’s order, Prophet (peace be upon him) will dress you with all his Sunnah, voluntary actions, and in the meaning of Khaatam ar-Rasool, “Seal of Prophets,” as if you have obeyed him from beginning to end!

 

Surah Ar Rum, Verse 30: La yalamoon: do not know the reality of this religion. And they do not understand its uprightness and its connection with Allah’s One-ness. So it is dutied upon you all, who follow the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), that you accept the faith and are obedient in everything from that Allah commands and that which He forbids you from.

 

Al Araaf, Verse 157: Ya’monohum bil ma’roof and yanhahum ayn al munkir ya yahillu lahum tayyebaat: (The Prophet (peace be upon him)) who bids them what is fair and forbids what is unfair, and makes lawful for them the good things, which they forbid upon their own selves…

 

Surah Tauba, Verse 109: La yahdil qaum ad-dalimeen: He does not guide the people who are of the Zalimeen, the ones who have left acting upon the things which He has ordered and forbidden.

 

There were too many to include them all.

 

I spoke to Qari Sahib about it who said, “The root of ingratitude and obstinacy in denying and refusing guidance is pride. For that matter the root of all sin and wrongdoing is pride. There are three things that break that pride; poverty, disease and death. Let us pray that we don’t have to face them in order to be taught the hard way not to be prideful.”

 

I thought about the last thing he said, how poverty, disease and death were the azaab, the curse of pride. It seemed to be other than death, if one was afflicted with poverty and disease, it was actually being singled out to reform. It was a warning but it wasn’t an abandoning. It wasn’t a curse, it was a call to still come back.

 

My COVID ended. Life resumed. It was still bitterly cold so I stayed in a lot. Lahore was foggy, The sun remained in hiding. I heard lecture upon lecture by Uzair to kill the time. In one of them he started with a statement I had never heard from him before:

 

Uzair: “The lecture I am about to give you today will change your life. As it once changed mine.”

 

Then he recited the verse;

 

‏مَنْ عَمِلَ صَلِحًۭا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌۭ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُۥ حَيَوٰةًۭ طَيِّبَةًۭ ۖ

وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ ‎

 

Whoever does righteous deeds whether male or female while he is a believer, then surely We will give him life, a good life,

and We will pay them their reward for the best of what they used to do.

Surah An-Nahl, Verse 97

 

“So Allah is saying that for the one who does good deeds and brings imaan, faith, it becomes compulsory upon Him to give that man or woman a new, pure life. Then Allah follows that by saying again that it also becomes incumbent upon Him to give them a reward and here is where it gets interesting. The reward is not for all deeds, it is is for bi ahsana ma kanu ya’maloon – the deed which was the best amongst what they did in their entire lifetime.

 

This needs to be explained as it is an extremely fine point and a totally new approach to understanding the Quran. Bi ahsana ma kanu ya’maloon means that of all the deeds performed, Allah chooses from them the best deed, then gives the reward for that best deed for all the other deeds as well. Even though they were not of the same standard or even near it.

 

For instance, if I said my namaz, the dutied prayers, all my life. Then in those prayers was a prayer of love, Namaz e Ishq, however you define it for yourself. Allah is saying here that I, Allah Subhanahu, will not give ajr, reward, to Uzair for all his prayers. If he prayed 200,000 times in his life, I am not giving him the reward for that number of prayers. No. He is saying, of the 200,000 prayers Uzair said in his lifetime, I will pick the one that was the most beautiful utterance from him, that was the best of them and then give all of the 200,000 prayers the reward similar to that one prayer.”

 

The crowd erupted into “Subhan Allahs” as did I.

 

“This is the nuanced approach to the Quran that is rare. Now let me show you how the same pattern is being repeated in the verse before.

 

‏مَا عِندَكُمْ يَنفَدُ ۖ

وَمَا عِندَ ٱللَّهِ بَاقٍۢ ۗ

وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ صَبَرُوٓا۟ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ

 

Whatever is with you will be exhausted, and whatever is with Allah will be remaining.

And surely We will reward those who are patient their reward for the best of what they used to do.

Surah An Nahl, Verse 96

 

“What you have will end and what Allah will have will always remain forever. Then come the same words wa linajziyanna – We will give them reward – except this time it is for sabr, exercising patience and again it is bi ahsana ma kanu ya’maloon, for the best way that deed of patience was performed.

 

Meaning what? I, Allah, will look at how a person demonstrated the act of patience in a lifetime, as many times as it was exercised by them. So if a person’s child died, if someone lost all their wealth, if someone became separated from a loved one, if someone lost the dignity of their respect before the world, if someone underwent a loss of any kind, and the person showed sabr, patience, for the sake of His Lord, Allah says of the many times they suffered and of the many times they showed patience, if they were patient a 100 times, He will not give them the reward for being patient those 100 times. He will see which of those 100 incidents was the most difficult and which of those times the person showed the best manifestation of patience, bi ahsan, and then give them for the other 99 instances that highest reward as well.”

 

It was uncanny. The idea that one deed performed with excellence could benefit all deeds, make them all equally excellent. It certainly made me wonder what might be such a deed for me, what prayer, what act of patience. I became inspiration waiting to execute. A week later, I sprained my lower back. Or had a muscle spasm. Or a pinched nerve. I still don’t. That had never happened to me before.

 

As someone who doesn’t get sick often, Ma Sha Allah, I kept thinking of my reaction to the ailment. Other than just saying Inna lillahe wa inna ilayhi raji’oon – Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him we have to return – which is what I was taught to say if I lost the use of something, all I could wonder about was what would make it “my best act of sabr?” The hardest aspect of it was what I thought about the most, that I learnt from Ghaus Pak (ra); not wanting the difficult to end!

 

As I continued hearing the lecture, Uzair next cited a verse from Surah Ankabut, a favourite as the names of the Surahs go. The Spider! The verse started and ended in a pattern similar to the above two verses from An Nahl, incidentally The Bee; Those who believed and did good deeds, then first We will hide their sins committed previously, and then linajzzayanhum ahsanu alladi kanu ya’maloon, We reward them according to the best of what they used to do.

 

وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ لَنُكَفِّرَنَّ عَنْهُمْ سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ

وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَحْسَنَ ٱلَّذِى كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ

 

As for those who believe and do good deeds,

We will certainly absolve them of their sins,

and reward them according to the best of what they used to do.

Surah Ankabut, Verse 7

 

“So first Allah will hide the sins once committed and then, in the same pattern as the other verses, the reward will be given for the one deed which will be the best. And all the other deeds will be rewarded according to this best deed.

Now what exactly is the lesson from these verses? It’s not just that Allah is not considering all deeds when it comes to recompense. It is the fact that He is looking at only the best deed when it comes to doling out reward which means that Allah searches for husn – beauty – in our deeds. He searches for it. So do the same with others.

 

Don’t look at what’s wrong with them or bad in them. Focus on the beauty that exists in every human being for just being a human being. Someone’s wrongdoing doesn’t make their beauty be overshadowed before God. He doesn’t allow it to make their goodness be voided. Allah doesn’t deny that good, He still asserts it despite the wrongful act. Not only does He assert it, He ignores the ugliness and rewards only based on that beauty.”

 

The words gave me pause. Those people I had been thinking about whose personalities seemed so distorted, unlike who they were for most of their lives. Which in any case seemed to be because of something that induced empathy naturally; they were drowning in loneliness. How easy it was to forget what someone was really like because of single a moment when they were the opposite of that. How fickle could be love and attachment, loyalty and understanding between human beings who spent lifetimes together.

 

I thought of the verse in the video I had just made in which there were no friends except three; Allah, Huzoor Pak (peace be upon him) and Maula Ali (as).

 

إِنَّمَا وَلِيُّكُمُ اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا الَّذِينَ يُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ

وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَهُمْ رَاكِعُونَ

 

Only are your true helpers Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him)

and those who have attained to faith,

the ones who are firmly immersed in their prayers,

who give the dutied charity that purifies,

while they bow in worship.

Surah Al Maidah, Verse 55

 

Search for the beauty, Uzair was saying, and if you don’t see it, remember it as it was once there for you were a witness to it for years.

 

The lecture continued. “And it is not even about this being Allah’s Sunnah with Muslims. Even the infidels, the Mushrikeen, if they gain imaan, Allah says He will hide their sins and only bring their best deeds before them. So what does that mean for us in our daily lives? Every relationship has positives and negatives. Allah is saying by giving His Own Example, bring forth the best aspect of the person and retain that as your association with them.

 

إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ

و۟لَٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ نَتَقَبَّلُ عَنْهُمْ أَحْسَنَ مَا عَمِلُوا۟ وَنَتَجَاوَزُ عَن سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ فِىٓ أَصْحَبِ ٱلْجَنَّةِ ۖ

 

I sincerely repented and I am of those who submit to You.

Those are the ones We will accept from them the best of what they did and We will overlook from their evil deeds, among the companions of Paradise.

 

Surah Al Ahqaf, Verse 16

 

Tafseer e Jilani

 

Inni tubtu: Indeed I repent and return…

 

Ilayka: to You from everything that could not please You from my deeds because You are Aware of all my states better than me…

 

Wa inni: and indeed I…

 

Min al Muslimeen: become of those who submit to You, O my Lord, of those who surrender to You and become obedient to Your Command, entrusting their matters, all of them, to You, because there is no purpose in our hearts except Your Essence and there is no returning except to You.

 

The last line gave me pause. The kalam for the video was Man Kunto Maula by Hazrat Amir Khusrau (ra). Since it has been recited a million times I wasn’t sure how ours could be different. But that relied on Ustad Sahib’s skill and he made it unique. The jewel of the video for me, however, was the appearances of two lines of the kalam that have hardly ever been translated before. The direct address to God.

 

The first was in Farsi:

 

در آ دل در آ دل در آ دانی

 

Come inside my heart,

come inside my heart,

come into this place You know.

 

What Ghaus Pak (ra) was saying in the exegesis of the words Min al Muslimeen – there is no purpose in our hearts except Your Essence – it was resonating with the kalam.

 

Tafseer e Jilani of Surah Ahqaf, Verse 16 cont’d:

 

Ulaika: Those are the fortunate ones who are enthusiastic about expressing gratitude for Allah’s Blessings and are fulfilling the rights of parents and maintaining excellent manners with them and doing more for them than was obligated. They are the ones…

 

Alladina nattaqabbalu anhum: from whom We accept in the best form…

 

Ahsana ma aamilo: the best of what they did, being the most sincere when they did it, seeking the Pleasure of Allah, avoiding His Displeasure…

 

Wa natajawazu: and We overlook…

 

An sayyatihim: from their sins after they repented and returned towards Him being repentant, and they are…

Fi ashab al Jannah: among the dwellers of Paradise and will be in their company, in peace and in success without fear and they will not feel grief as the fulfillment of what Allah promised them.

 

Continued at: www.flickr.com/photos/42093313@N00/51871537551/in/datepos...

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