View allAll Photos Tagged creatine
Fitness Protein BAR в в най-добрите фитнес зали, магазини за хранителни добавки, сила.бг, верига аптеки Фрамар и цялата мрежа на бензиностанции ОМВ
Plenty of studies have been done which prove the effectiveness of creatine. And the proposed advantages of workout, nutrition are improved recovery, raised the capability to make muscle, improved immune system, improved fat burning etc. For more information visit: csaactive.com.au
(818) 876-7333 What are Compression Garments?Compression garments are tight, compressive forms of clothing, often made out of elastin and nylon, which are designed to enhance recovery. Not only are these worn by athletes in an attempt to improve performance and enhance recovery, but they are also worn in abundance by recreational fitness enthusiasts. The current commercial belief, despite any evidence, is that wearing compression garments can enhance athletic performance and improve post-exercise recovery time based on the following physiological and psychological influences:Influences on Recovery↓ in post-exercise oedema↑ removal of waste products↑ local blood flow↓ perception of delayed onset of muscle soreness (DMOS)↓ concentrations of creatine kinase↓ in muscle oscillations (muscle vibration)Influences on Performance↑ joint awareness↑ in perfusion↑ muscle oxygenation↑ skin temperatures↓ perception of fatiguecompression stockings, compression arm sleeves, compression garments, Lymphedema Sleeves, juzo arm sleeve, compression garments after liposuction, compression garments after tummy tuck, where to buy compression garments, post surgical compression garments, compression garments for weight loss, compression garments lymphedema, compression garments for legshttps://youtu.be/NAuteyeBeZkhttps://youtu.be/5cBpaGa49Lshttps://youtu.be/5cBpaGa49Lshttps://youtu.be/LN63gZ4Lx1Uhttps://youtu.be/LN63gZ4Lx1Uhttps://youtu.be/NCs-DH6h7rchttps://youtu.be/VpMPtSspX8ghttps://youtu.be/0eEEAq7wgxQhttps://youtu.be/Z-7UGT11NuYhttps://youtu.be/MsYx55Vmu8ohttps://youtu.be/Vi4wk-_fzjEhttps://youtu.be/V9zgQkATeic
www.mgnstore.com Massive Growth was designed to be a must have for people who are serious about getting the highest results out of their workouts.
Massive Growth is a hardcore pre-workout formula that is used to give the athlete a high energy levels and absolute mental focus to be maintained throughout the course of the workout. Studies have shown that Massive Growth will increase strength and muscle mass upon your first dosage and workout. Our formula was designed to give you an edge over the competition, without that after taste that you get from comparing brands like Jacked produced by USP labs.
We offer our formula in three outstanding flavors lemon, orange and lime. Muscle Gauge uses a blend of three important active ingredients: Geranium, Schizandrol A and Methylxanthines (Caffeine and Theophylline) that come together to help you get the strength and shredded results you are looking for. No energy crash, headaches or jitters just Massive Growth with Muscle Gauge.
via WordPress ift.tt/2lbhVs8
Từ một thiếu niên gầy gò ốm yếu “da bọc xương” trở thành một vận động viên thể hình chuyên nghiệp. David Laid bắt đầu niềm đam mê và hành trình luyện tập với môn thể hình từ khi còn rất trẻ. Ngày nay, anh ấy đã trở nên nổi tiếng trên khắp các trang mạng truyền thông xã hội, một nguồn cảm húng lan rộng toàn cầu, một vận động viên được bảo trợ cách đặc biệt và tất nhiên, một người mẫu thể hình đầy tiềm năng. Chỉ ở tuổi 19, David Laid đã xây dựng được hình ảnh và tên tuổi cho chính mình trong ngành thể hình trên toàn thế giới. Hãy xem anh chàng này đã làm gì trong một ngày tập luyện của mình để vượt qua nghịch cảnh và đạt đến thành công như ngày hôm nay.
Ở thời điểm bắt đầu, kiến thức về Gym, chế độ dinh dưỡng, các bài tập, kỹ thuật tập luyện và tất tần tật những gì liên quan đến thể hình của David là “zero”. Mặt khác, mặc cảm về một thân hình “da bọc xương” của mình đã khiến David càng quyết tâm hơn. Những video clip cùng những bài học cơ bản trên mạng xã hội là nguồn cảm hứng cũng như khởi đầu cho Laid bắt tay vào việc “vẽ lại” cơ thể theo ý muốn của mình.
Lấy động lực và kinh nghiệm từ mạng xã hội
Đây chính là kênh mà David Laid đã tìm nguồn cảm hứng và cũng là công cụ anh dùng để truyền cho người khác động lực mà anh có được trong việc thay đổi cơ thể, đặc biệt là ở những khó khăn đầu tiên trong bước khởi đầu.
Lịch tập luyện của David Laid
Deadlifts, Bench press và Squats là những bài luyện tập ưa thích của David. Anh đã duy trì các bài tập luyện một cách thường xuyên và chăm chỉ để đạt được vóc dáng cân đối với 6 ngày trong một tuần. Thời gian David ở phòng tập luôn nhiều hơn những người đồng đội khác với 6 giờ mỗi ngày. Tinh thần luyện tập của David luôn ở mức tập trung cao độ. Từng động tác đẩy-kéo hoặc bất cứ bài tập nào, David luôn đặt trong đó một sự tính toán hết sức cẩn thận và sự tinh tế phù hợp nhất cho cơ thể của mình. Và đây là cách mà anh đã chinh phục chính mình, phương pháp luyện tập mang tên David Laid.
Ngày Lưng
Dumbbell rows 4 x 6-8
Seated wide-grip lat pulldown 4 x 6-8
Seated cable row 4 x 8-10
Close grip chin up 4 x until failure
Hex bar shrug 4 x 8-10
Cable shrug 4 x 8-10
Close grip lat pulldown 4 x 6-10
Ngày Ngực
Incline bench press 5 x 5
Dumbbell incline press 5 x 8-10
Flat bench press 5 x 6-8
Incline bench press as many reps as possible (1 set tập đến khi không tập nổi)
Flat bench press as many reps as possible (1 set tập đến khi không tập nổi)
Ngày Vai
Seated dumbbell press 4 x 8-10
Seated behind the neck overhead press 4 x 8-10
Dumbbell lateral raise 4 x 8-10
Seated machine overhead press 4 x 8-10
Cable lateral raise 4 x 10-12
Front plate raise 4 x 10-12
Rear delt seated fly machine 4 x 10-12
Rear delt seated cable row 4 x 10-12
Tập luyện chân
Đối với những ngày chân, David thích bắt đầu với squats – cả đại diện thường xuyên và tạm dừng đại diện. Loại hình đào tạo này là chìa khóa để thêm sức mạnh và kích thước cho đôi chân của bạn. Sau đó, anh ta tăng reps và giảm trọng lượng cho phần còn lại của tập luyện. Với kỹ thuật này, David có thể nhấn mạnh toàn bộ chuyển động ở chân.
Barbell squat with pause 4 x 3
Barbell squat 6 x 5
Machine leg press 3 x 20
Laying hamstring curls 5 x 10
Ngày tập tay
Seated Hammer Curl 3 x 10, 8, 6
Bodyweight dips 3 x 15
EZ bar curl 3 x 10, 8, 6
Triceps cable pushdown 3 x 10, 8, 6
Barbell curl (1 set tập đến khi không tập nổi )
Dumbbell seated triceps extension (1 set tập đến khi không tập nổi)
Tất cả các bài tập trong phương pháp của David Laid đều dựa trên việc học hỏi từ những người nổi tiếng, các huấn luyện viên cũng như vận động viên chuyên nghiệp. Đặc biệt, nó đơn giản đến mức trang thiết bị sử dụng và các động tác của bài tập đều là những gì mà một người theo đuổi môn thể hình, từ cơ bản đến nâng cao, đều có thể thực hiện được.
Khẩu phần ăn uống và chế độ dinh dưỡng hằng ngày
David gặp phải một thách thức lớn trong việc ăn uống hằng ngày do anh ta thường xuyên bị mất cảm giác thèm ăn. Đây là điều khó khăn gây trở ngại lớn cho việc tập Gym.
Do vậy, David Laid đã áp dụng chế độ dinh dưỡng với việc ăn các loại thực phẩm giàu calo cho phép anh ta tăng cân nhanh chóng. Chế độ ăn uống của David Laid cho phép anh ấy có thể tự do ăn nhiều loại thực phẩm khác nhau, miễn là nó nằm trong lượng calo phù hợp với mục tiêu tập luyện là giảm cân, tăng cân hoặc duy trì cân nặng.
Laid cũng sử dụng các loại thực phẩm bổ sung thông dụng như Vitamin D3, Creatine, Pre-workout và Whey Protein.
Bài học gì rút ra được từ phương pháp luyện tập của David?
Khi nhìn vào thân hình gầy gò trơ xương của mình trước đây, David Laid chỉ tập trung vào một quyết tâm duy nhất: thay đổi bản thân từng ngày. Thay cho những mặc cảm của bản thân, David biến nó thành hành động. Anh bắt đầu tìm tòi, học hỏi trên mạng xã hội và chia sẻ kết quả luyện tập của mình cho mọi người.
Khởi đầu từ con số 0, sử dụng những điều kiện mà bất cứ một người đam mê thể hình nào cũng có cơ hội được tiếp xúc, kết hợp với sự say mê học hỏi và tìm hiểu của mình, David Laid tự biến mình từ một cậu bé mảnh mai thành một vận động viên chuyên nghiệp được bảo trợ bởi rất nhiều các thương hiệu lớn trong ngành.
Bài viết Lịch Tập Luyện và Chế Độ Dinh Dưỡng David Laid đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày SUPVN.
MMA Favorite opinions Coaching Supplement needed to perform like Amino Acids, Carbohydrates, Carnitine, Creatine, Energy Bar, Energy Drink, Fat Burner, Gainer, Joint Support, L-Glutamine, NO Nitric Oxide, Whey Protein and all the model involved in MMA Clothing. Tapout, Silver Star, Ed Hardy, UFC Shirts.
By Patty Goff
Sports nutrition is ranked among the category of supplements, as its proper use is an addition to the basic diet of conventional foods rather than full replacement. The vast majority of products has nothing to do with doping. Choice for the use of the required type of blue star supplements product is dependent on the set in the preparation of the training program goals.
BCAA supplementation (branched chain amino acids) are usually of three types: leucine, isoleucine and valine. Each of these has numerous benefits BCAA diveros biological processes inside the human body. Unlike other amino acids BCAAs are meta
bolized in the muscle properly balancing the ratio anabolic / anti-catabolic muscle.
Carbohydrates play a vital role in the diet of a bodybuilder. At the time consumed insulin shock helps "carry" nutrients and protein to muscle hypertrophy and promoting recovery occurs. In stages in which the body builder has the purpose to burn fat carbohydrates often reduces drastically to avoid the discharge of insulin and thus also prevent the accumulation of fat.
It is known that an adult of about 120 kg and no activity around man can consume about 70-100 grams of protein daily. The quantity and quality of protein in diet is important in determining its effects. Increasing protein in food intake amino acid levels and thereby increase protein synthesis. The amount of protein in the diet is important to determine the effects on protein metabolism athlete.
The quality (biological value) of proteins should be noted, certain proteins are biologically more effective than others. Keep in mind that as carbs are digested faster or slower depending on the glycemic index, proteins can be classified in terms of nutritional protein as fast or slow depending on the protein absorption rate having, depending on the type of protein 1 and the presence of other nutrients.
Creatine monohydrate is a most popular bodybuilding supplement, its consumption leads to muscle increase (promotes muscle hypertrophy) and increased storage capacity of creatine in muscles. And an increase between 5-7% in strength. This compound is generated in small amounts by the human body (for the liver, kidneys and pancreas by the presence of arginine, glycine and methionine and does so at a rate of 2 g per day).
The optimum amount of protein consumed per person per day may be about 0.7 grams per kilogram of dry weight of the person. Total protein which must consume athlete from about 1 g to 1.5 g per kilogram of body weight. Different products are digested at different rates, and this rate often depends on their caloric content. Before exercise consume usually quickly digestible foods for a period of sleep - slowly digestible foods. In general, the highest rate of assimilation have carbohydrates, followed by proteins and the longest time required for digestion of lipids (fats).
Acceptance of supplementation is aimed primarily at improving athletic performance, increase strength and endurance, health promotion, increasing the volume of muscles, normalize metabolism, to achieve optimal body weight, and, in general, to increase the quality and length of life. Nutrition relate to food supplementation. Supplementation is developed and manufactured on the basis of scientific research in various fields.
About the Author:
You can visit justaddmuscle.com for more helpful information about Guide To Blue Star Supplements.
MMA Favorite critiques Coaching Supplement wanted to carry out like Amino Acids, Carbohydrates, Carnitine, Creatine, Energy Bar, Energy Drink, Fat Burner, Gainer, Joint Support, L-Glutamine, NO Nitric Oxide, Whey Protein and all the model concerned in MMA Clothing. Tapout, Silver Star, Ed Hardy, UFC Shirts.
Fitness Protein BAR в в най-добрите фитнес зали, магазини за хранителни добавки, сила.бг, верига аптеки Фрамар и цялата мрежа на бензиностанции ОМВ
Emb: 120 gr | 200 gr | 400 gr | 1 kg | 50 caps | 100 caps
Creatine Powder é creatina pura, que é um aminoácido que ocorre naturalmente em humanos e também é consumida na dieta. Atua no estoque de energia que os músculos e os outros tecidos necessitam. Quando consumida adequadamente como creatina exógena, faz com que os estoques musculares de creatina se tornem mais elevados, assim como os seus derivados: fosforilado e a fosfocreatina. Creatine Powder oferece o aumento desses estoques, oferecendo benefício terapêutico, prevenindo depleção de ATP, estimulando a síntese de proteína ou reduzindo sua degradação.
NutriStore Sta Maria | 55 3026-0912 | e-mail/msn: contato@nutrirs.com
Hi CFFB! First of all I'd like the personally thank every one of you for developing me into the Power Athlete that I am today. I started with mainsite workouts about 7 years ago for college rugby. The switch to CFFB was made about 2-3 years ago and I could not be happier! Currently the "working full time 26 year old" me is stronger and faster than the "college Div 1 rugby player" me! After reading the recently released beginners guide I wanted try and produce one product that contained all of the recommended supplements from the guide. The chart below shows the costs, quantities and grams per serving of my attempt. Unfortunately alpha GPC is not included as it could not found at reasonably price. This also did not include creatine. The costs per 5lb container would approximately be $55 without the consideration of shipping the bulk supplements. Each 5 lb container would contain approximately 45 servings of the following supplements: serving (50g) 26.36g Grass Fed Whey 4.73g Leucine 4.65g Taurine 4.65g Glutamine 374mg phosphatidylserine 1.94g acetyl-carnatine - ALC My family owns and operates a small chocolate company so we have the equipment (think large stand mixers) to put all of the ingredients together. Please let me know if there is any interest to package and sell this as the official CrossFit Football supplement. Also please let me know if there are any other options to buy the supplements at a cheaper rate. This is simply an idea that popped into my head after reading the beginners guide and trying to put together the recommended supplements myself. If there is more interest we can definitely make this happen! Thanks! Kyle Travelet QNT Cost Total Grams Whey(g) Leucine(g) Taurine(g) Glutamine(g) phosphatidylserine(g) ALC(g) alpha GPC(g) Bulk Grass-Fed New Zealand Whey 1 289.99 20410 17000 2551.25 bulksupplements.com leucine 1 39.75 500 500.00 bulksupplements.com Taurine 3 66.81 3000 3000 bulksupplements.com Glutamine 3 98.82 3000 3000 Now Lecithin Gran (26.786) 9 121.68 4086 241.07 bulksupplements.com ALC 1 105.25 1250 1250 usplastic.com food container 14 70 per 2270kg (5lb) 14.21 55.78 2270.00 1196.74 214.80 211.19 211.19 16.97 88.00 0 per serving (50g) 644.92 1.23 50.00 26.36 4.73 4.65 4.65 0.37 1.94 0 Total Cost 792.3
Fitness Protein BAR в в най-добрите фитнес зали, магазини за хранителни добавки, сила.бг, верига аптеки Фрамар и цялата мрежа на бензиностанции ОМВ
(818) 876-7333 What are Compression Garments?Compression garments are tight, compressive forms of clothing, often made out of elastin and nylon, which are designed to enhance recovery. Not only are these worn by athletes in an attempt to improve performance and enhance recovery, but they are also worn in abundance by recreational fitness enthusiasts. The current commercial belief, despite any evidence, is that wearing compression garments can enhance athletic performance and improve post-exercise recovery time based on the following physiological and psychological influences:Influences on Recovery↓ in post-exercise oedema↑ removal of waste products↑ local blood flow↓ perception of delayed onset of muscle soreness (DMOS)↓ concentrations of creatine kinase↓ in muscle oscillations (muscle vibration)Influences on Performance↑ joint awareness↑ in perfusion↑ muscle oxygenation↑ skin temperatures↓ perception of fatiguecompression stockings, compression arm sleeves, compression garments, Lymphedema Sleeves, juzo arm sleeve, compression garments after liposuction, compression garments after tummy tuck, where to buy compression garments, post surgical compression garments, compression garments for weight loss, compression garments lymphedema, compression garments for legshttps://youtu.be/NAuteyeBeZkhttps://youtu.be/5cBpaGa49Lshttps://youtu.be/5cBpaGa49Lshttps://youtu.be/LN63gZ4Lx1Uhttps://youtu.be/LN63gZ4Lx1Uhttps://youtu.be/NCs-DH6h7rchttps://youtu.be/VpMPtSspX8ghttps://youtu.be/0eEEAq7wgxQhttps://youtu.be/Z-7UGT11NuYhttps://youtu.be/MsYx55Vmu8ohttps://youtu.be/Vi4wk-_fzjEhttps://youtu.be/V9zgQkATeic
Masstech 2.5kg
Calorie Dense Advanced Protein Formula(Containing high dosages of creatine and BCAAs with quality carbohydrate sources)
www.mgnstore.com Recovery 911 was designed to help the athletes, moms and dads alike. It is a wonderful drink boasting magnificent orange flavors.
Recovery 911 combines glutamine and creatine to promote muscle recovery and the re-hydration in your muscles. Along with amino acids, whey protein and the right amount of carbohydrates 911 answers the call. All of these ingredients are crucial in protein synthesis and reducing soreness after activity.
Today so many people are on move whether you are working out in the gym, walking with the kids, or preparing for a marathon, Recovery 911 should be your go to. The things we eat, ways we eat, and how we prepare our food all play a huge role in performance. Science has shown that if protein and carbohydrates are combined there can be more absorption than the intake of either one individually.
Have faith you can get the most from your workout without feeling like you can’t go on with your day. Recovery 911 is more effective and gives fewer calories from fat, and more protein per serving size with 35g when compared to Optimum Nutrition. Eliminate the amount of soreness and tension in your body and wallet by simply taking 911 after you workout. Recovery 911 will help you get off the sidelines of life and get back in the game, at a price you can afford.
Fitness Protein BAR в в най-добрите фитнес зали, магазини за хранителни добавки, сила.бг, верига аптеки Фрамар и цялата мрежа на бензиностанции ОМВ
Bom fim de semana para todos e bons treinos! WWW.CORPOSFLEX.COM #desporto #motivação #musculos #ginasio #health #fitness #fitnessmodel #fitnessaddict #bodybuilder #muscles #creatine #instaworkout #nutrition #workout #bodybuilding #cardio #gym #train #training #photooftheday #corpoperfeito #healthychoices #abdominais #abs
29 Likes on Instagram
www.mgnstore.com Huge Impact is Muscle Gauge’s most convenient, high quality all-in-one supplement. No longer do you need to take pills upon pills or buy product upon product to achieve your target physique.
The Muscle Gauge team has taken our tried and true formula with its 20g of protein per serving, L-Arginine, Beta Alanine, Taurine, and Creatine Monohydrate and taken it to the next level by increasing protein to 24 grams per serving while introducing a new multi-functional protein blend.
We took our blend of Whey Protein Isolate and Whey Protein Concentrate, and added 3 more proteins (Micellar Casein, Calcium Caseinate, and Milk Protein) each with varying digestion rates and distinct amino acid profiles to provide sustained amino acid absorption both pre and post workout. Huge Impact is a truly innovative supplement that will change the face of sports nutrition, as we know it.
Let this innovative MGN product make a huge impact in your life.
Fitness Protein BAR в в най-добрите фитнес зали, магазини за хранителни добавки, сила.бг, верига аптеки Фрамар и цялата мрежа на бензиностанции ОМВ
Colbert MD Stimulate : The Serum
Boosts the skin’s own natural repair process. Stimulates collagen production deep within the dermis, restoring skin’s textural quality and glowing good health.
How it Works:
A powerful complex of plant actives and nutrients prompts fresh new cellular growth. Patented QuSome™ technology delivers the potent active ingredients deep into the cell producing layers, where they initiate the birth of healthy, new skin.
How to Use:
Apply to clean face 1x daily—morning or night.
Key Ingredients:
Glycolic Acid-- Enhances the quality and texture of the skin. Diminishing hyper-pigmentation.
Gotu Kola-- The legendary “Fountain of Youth” ingredient is a building block for collagen. Delivers high-level anti-inflammatory effect.
Coffea Arabica Seed Extract-- This potent anti-oxidant is effective at reversing sun damage.
Silk peptides-- A complex amino acid chain that helps build collagen and elastin, renewing skin’s support structure.
Creatine and Carnitine-- Energizes cells, boosting cell metabolism.
Listening to Def Leppard, Thrice, and Eminem. Zoning out at the gym. Focused and mentally ready every time I hit the gym. I trained hard and my diet was clean for 8 months.
Again, my diet is close to a Paleo diet. No sugar, low sodium, organic all natural foods. Only sugars from fruits.
Only supplements used: Optimum Nutrition: 100% Whey Isolate Protein, Platinum Casein Protein, Micronized Monohydrate Creatine. Other supplements are just isolated Amino acids such as Optimum Nutrition's BCAA's and L-Glutamine for faster recovery. Beta-Alanine for long endurance work outs.
No growth horomones no synthetic crap and NO STEROIDS. F*CK that $H!T. I give no respect to those who need that in order to push themselves. If you use that stuff it just goes to show you have weak mental strength and you could careless about reaching your goals with what you naturally have.
Thanks to all my friends who supported me! My girl Autumn and my good friend Travis Smith who also took these photos for me.
Hard work pays off!
I just got home from work and am enjoying a frozen margarita (Stirrings Natural Margarita Salt, find it, buy it. BUY IT.) And I am reminded of the last few years of my life. Almost a year ago my husband died. About four and a half years ago we got married. And we registered at Target.
He was against the registry to begin with, thought the whole thing was strange. He being a boy person I got that, but finally got him to see the error of his ways. We went to Target. We signed up. They gave us a Telxon type gun and off we went to scan all the cool shit we'd never have bought for ourselves.
We agreed on nearly everything from a nice gray sheet set ($50) to a cool set of plates ($20) to camping chairs ($7 each). We scanned towels, silverware, glasses, all the stuff we already owned yet couldn't bring ourselves to spend our own money to replace with new versions.
Then I hit, excitedly, the small appliances aisle. And there it happened. I found it, the BLENDER OF MY DREAMS. A gorgeous Osterizer. Beehive style in black enamel with a great greenish glass jug. $60.
BEEP. I scanned that puppy. And found the Telxon yanked out of my hands. Dave said to me, "We are NOT registering for a $60 blender," and deleted my dream blender from the registry. I yanked the Telxon away from him and said, "Yeah. We are." And I scanned that puppy again. And he said, "No. We aren't. We are NOT asking people for a $60 fucking BLENDER." And he deleted it. Again. This went back and forth until he walked away in frustration and I was victorious, dream blender on my registry.
I selfishly watched our registry online and jumped off the stool in the living room one night screaming, "HA! Someone bought the $60 blender, JACK ASS!" and danced around the kitchen with my own little song about my soon to be new blender.
We received the blender at our shower and I was gloating. He looked ill at having a $60 BLENDER coming home.
I loved that blender. Mixed drinks, shakes, more mixed drinks. I kept it on the counter and would regularly say to Dave, "Nice blender I got us, huh?" and he'd grunt. But he grew to love that blender. I'd catch him dumping various ingredients in there and whipping up his own concoctions: weight gain crap, with eggs and creatine, banana and chocolate smoothies, he had finally fallen under the spell of my Black Enamel Osterizer Beehive $60 blender.
Then it all went wrong. Okay, so, our relationship was always "off" shall we say, but we finally hit bottom after over eight years and called it quits. Oh, we loved each other, the last thing he told me was that he loved me. He was dead the next day. But we couldn't live together anymore. The new dishes? Broken in fits of rage. Our wedding photo that I printed in my own darkroom and hand colored and stuck in a gorgeous frame (from Target)? Smashed. We just couldn't occupy the same space without driving each other nuts. So I packed.
And then the inevitable occurred.
I wanted my blender.
And it wasn't on the counter.
I said, "Dave...Where's my blender?"
"YOUR blender?" he asked, accusingly.
"Yes. The one I registered for and you didn't want."
"You don't need a blender."
"And what the hell do you need a $60 blender for, Dave?"
"You're getting the living room set."
"I bought the living room set with money from my car accident, remember?"
"Well, you're not taking the blender. You can afford a new one."
And so we argued. For days. He'd hear me rifling through the cabinets and he'd come screaming at me about the blender being his. I knew I'd get it in time.
I moved out. No blender in sight.
Six weeks later my husband was dead. I had to clean out his apartment. My best friend says to me, "Hey! You'll get your blender back!" which admittedly made me laugh that even she knew my attachment to the blender.
After his funeral services one of his many (I would find out later) girlfriends introduced herself to me. Real tall skanky thing. I briefly thought it was Dave in drag. (She had a horse face, people. And that's unbiased.) I had a fit, understandably, as the day before he passed he was begging me to come home, now some skank was walking around the funeral I paid for introducing herself as the real widow.
So here it is less than a week after meeting the skangy drag version of my dead husband and I'm cleaning out the apartment with my step daughter and her mother.
And I realize...the blender is GONE. It isn't anywhere in the house. I freaked out. I figured it'd turn up eventually. I called my girlfriend after day-one of cleaning and she said, "So, you have your blender?" And I said "NO!!! It's nowhere to be found!" and she said, "That sonofabitch wanted that blender so badly he took it to the grave!" and I laughed because what else can you do?
Weeks passed without the blender, but I had other things to go through. I sat there one night going through the CD collection so I could integrate my stuff and his which I had inherited, so to speak.
And I realized a CD was missing.
Steely Dan, their greatest hits. I checked the container, twice. No Steely Dan. (Let me just say here that it didn't even have Dirty Work on it, how could it have been a Greatest Hits without that?) Now I was really pissed.
No blender.
No easy listening.
And a skank at Dave's funeral.
So I called my girlfriend and bitched some more.
Whenever I'm having a bad day I picture that horse face, blending smoothies, listening to Steely Dan, and weeping over the man she had only dated for a week before he died.
It's my little blender story.
The unexciting ending is that more likely than not Dave, who was a klutz, broke the glass jar for the blender. In fear of my reaction he threw the whole thing away, then told me I couldn't have it so I couldn't yell at him for breaking it. THAT is the more likely ending to my dream blender.
But as I drink my frozen margarita, made in a newer, spiffier, metallic red version of my original dream blender (and I got this one on sale for $40 at Target) I can't help but just picture horse face, sipping away, with that fucking blender on her counter and Hey 19 playing softly in the background.