Words by Katharine Lee Bates,

Melody by Samuel Ward

O beautiful for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet

Whose stern impassioned stress

A thoroughfare of freedom beat

Across the wilderness!

America! America!

God mend thine every flaw,

Confirm thy soul in self-control,

Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved

In liberating strife.

Who more than self their country loved

And mercy more than life!

America! America!

May God thy gold refine

Till all success be nobleness

And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream

That sees beyond the years

Thine alabaster cities gleam

Undimmed by human tears!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for halcyon skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the enameled plain!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

Till souls wax fair as earth and air

And music-hearted sea!

O beautiful for pilgrims feet,

Whose stem impassioned stress

A thoroughfare for freedom beat

Across the wilderness!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

Till paths be wrought through

wilds of thought

By pilgrim foot and knee!

O beautiful for glory-tale

Of liberating strife

When once and twice,

for man's avail

Men lavished precious life!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

Till selfish gain no longer stain

The banner of the free!

O beautiful for patriot dream

That sees beyond the years

Thine alabaster cities gleam

Undimmed by human tears!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

Till nobler men keep once again

Thy whiter jubilee!

I am going to talk about a topic most would consider to be very sensitive and that is pornography. So if you don’t feel comfortable reading about it please stop whenever you like to. Of course I will talk about it from my personal experience. I will try not to focus on porn or talk about it in details, as my goal is not to assist others to indulge in sin but to glorify God for the freedom He has given me. I will start by talking about the photo first.

First of all I want to say that talking about being addicted to porn is not easy. I had considered talking about for some time but didn’t really want to do so. So I decided, like I do often, is to lie down and talk to God and think about why I didn’t want to write about it. The reason was simple: I didn’t want people to have a bad idea about me. The final point was: I wanted to keep my image “clean” like so many of us Christians like to do. However, after some thought I came to this conclusion:

1) I was born a sinner and I am as sinful in my nature as anybody else ever lived on earth, so there is no point in acting like I am better than anybody else.

2) I am who I am because of who I am in Christ, and that’s because of His perfect and finished work on the Cross: His death for my sins. Not because of anything good in me or about me.

3) When I accepted Jesus I basically gave Him ownership over me. In other words, there is no more “my reputation”, “my name”, “my this” and “my that”. Everything belongs to Him now. Of course I thought that I could simply avoid talking about this topic and “act” as if there is something special about me. But the truth is that He is special and I am special only because the Holy Spirit, who is special, lives in me.

4) For Christ to be lifted through me I must be lowered. For Him to be glorified I must tell the world about who I was before Christ.

5) I didn’t want to be a hypocrite! Of course, as we all know, being a hypocrite is much easier than a lot of things in life. (And believe me it is much easier to be a hypocrite than to live the Christian life, but only through living the Christian life we can find true fulfillment in Jesus.) But if I claim that I belong to Christ and that my identity is wrapped up in who I am in Him, a prince and a child of the living and holy One, then I have to act upon this claim. Otherwise I am simply being a hypocrite. I cannot say that my value and worth are in Him, when I value myself in how others see me.

So I will start my story now…

When I was in my teens back home, and I would be taking the bus in the evening sometimes I would look at my hand and be completely amazed by the orange sun light reflecting off of it, especially the amount of details God has put in the skin! And because I like to draw, shadows have always amazed me. Until now I try to emphasize shadows and contrast in my photos. So a couple of days ago I was studying when it was sunset and I looked at my hand and again I loved the amount of details in the skin. So I took few photos and after some editing, I realized this photo can be very fitting to talk about Jesus Christ’s favour in setting us free from sin. So here is my final product. I hope you like it. (Special thanks to Gimp!)

I didn’t soak the hand with orange colour and dark shadows because I want to talk about a light that’s brighter than the sun’s: the light of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. That’s why I kept the light white.

I was not familiar with pornography until I came to Canada, and especially after I bought my first computer. Like so many others I started watching porn because of curiosity. I accepted Jesus in my life before I came to Canada though. Being still an immature Christian, spiritually like a few days old infant, I was an easy prey to Satan’s lies.

Then porn turned to more than just curiosity—it became a habit. Then from a habit it became an addiction. It pretty much consumed hours of my daily life, and all my energy. It cost me a lot in school as my marks dropped dramatically. My relationship with God was reduced to “hi” and “bye”!

I tried to quit many times but I couldn’t. I knew it was wrong but by then it was too strong of an addiction to break free from. I hated it and loved it at the same time. I hated it because it ruined every aspect of my life. I loved it because I was emotionally dependent on it: it was my idol. (For more on Idols you might be interested in reading: www.flickr.com/photos/001fj/2334638980/

Pornography was a very strange affair. I mean, when I went out I tried not to lust after women but when I came home I entertained the worst thoughts for hours! One of the worst things about porn is that it gets worse overtime. You never start at a low level and stay there; you stoop to lower levels because after a while those materials are not satisfying anymore. Can you imagine the helplessness people who are addicted to porn feel? Can you imagine the feeling of entrapment? Can you imagine not only seeing yourself in a very bad situation but also seeing yourself heading toward a worse situation and you are going by your own will simply because you couldn’t resist doing the thing that is hurting you and eventually will destroy you!

It is like standing in a hole and digging it to make it deeper and deeper and deeper.

One summer break I spent it pretty much editing photos using Photoshop and listening to Dr. Charles Stanley. In one sermon he was talking about how God sets us free and the bottom line was that we have to:

1) Realize and admit our situation and helplessness

2) Trust that God can free us

3) Surrender ourselves, lives and hearts to Him

So I tried it. I went to pray and told God all those three points and I meant them—I truly believed and knew that I couldn’t free myself from this sin, and I knew that God was a good God who loved me and cared about me….but, I didn’t know how to surrender! I mean if I was in a war then I could take a piece of white cloth and put it on a stick, raise it up and walk toward the enemy. They would see the white piece of cloth and would know that I am surrendering, but how do you do that spiritually? I mean, it is more than words just as in the scenario of the battlefield above: I have to raise (action word) the stick, and walk (another action word) toward the enemy. But how do you surrender spiritually?

Needless to say after that prayer I went back to pornography as if I had not even prayed it! I knew Dr. Stanley is a godly man so I knew he wouldn’t teach something false, but I simply didn’t know how to apply it. So I kept trying to break free from pornography using all methods I knew from self-control (emphasis on the word “self”; I am not talking about the self-control we have by focusing on Christ and putting Him first in our lives), to using filters to always keeping the windows and door open, etc…nothing worked.

God wasn’t completely silent in those couple of years when I was addicted to porn. I can recall some other time when God completely cut all communication with me until I obeyed Him in a certain matter (thank God He did that!), but that was not the case in those two years. I think God knew that I was helpless against breaking free from porn. He knew I was too young spiritually to abandon me completely to my weakness and leave me completely at Satan’s mercy (as if he has any!)

A particular scary moment was when one night after indulging in sin for hours I stood and planned to go carry out a sinful act. After a couple steps it was as if God slapped me so hard that He woke me up from a nightmare; the only thing is that I was not dreaming--it was real life! I had so foolishly bought Satan’s lies to the degree that I was going to carry them out! I froze and couldn’t move for few seconds because it was as if God had blocked my way. Then I realized that I was basically a slave of Satan if I kept believing what he told me. I was like a zombie having all sense sucked out of me and so dead in my sins.

Nothing can explain God's intervention in that moment better than this song:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_SjhKJgqGg

I also realized that I was not so different from Ted Bundy or any other serial killer and rapist. I was a step away from going that road if it wasn’t for God mercy, grace, love and compassion. I can never be thankful enough for Him for intervening in that moment. We were all born sinners, and according to God holiness that demands divine justice we all deserve the death penalty. That’s why our Lord had to die for our sins to be forgiven. So please, next time you hear about a criminal so “evil” ask yourself those two questions: 1) Can Jesus’ blood forgive all his sin? Yes, or no? 2) Can God change him? Yes, or no? The answer is yes to both questions. (Check this man’s testimony if you like to: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIfQ-aBham4

One time I managed to stay away from pornography for 18 days! I was so happy but when I fell to sin again I was more miserable than ever before! I knew that I couldn’t do better than that. That was about half a year after listening to Dr. Stanley’s message.

So sometime in March of 2003 I went to pray at night. And I basically told God that I had enough and that I wasn’t going to pray anymore. I was ending my relationship with Him! I didn’t know better at the time that He paid a high price to adopt me into His family and He wasn’t just going to let me go! I was so tired of pretending that my religion works when it didn’t! I became a Christian not looking for a religion, but because the God of the Bible was so real I wanted to know Him…I wanted to experience what He did and said He would do. But it was not working! It was also so repulsive to me to come pray to God when I had so disgustingly disobeyed Him! It was like lusting after women all day long then going home and kissing my wife and pretending that everything is “fine”, (by the way, it is NOT “fine” with God and His opinion is the only opinion that matters if not now then later!). I simply couldn’t carry a relationship with a Holy God when I was so steeped into sin. I was crying when I told Him “good-by” because I had really wanted Christianity to work since it was the only faith that held its own claims and its God was so real that it would require more faith for me not to believe in Him than to believe in Him! (How much faith does it take to believe in gravity? None, because we know it exists! That’s the same case with our God.) So I told Him that I don’t care anymore. I give up. I can’t break free from pornography’s hold on me, and He isn’t helping me. So I give up and won’t try to resist porn anymore. I was too tired to try to please a God who wasn’t willing to help me with my burdens.

I don’t remember exactly what day it was that I prayed that prayer but I know it was in the last 10 days of March, 2003. So I stood up and thought that was the end…that all those prayers I had prayed and He answered, the peace He has given me, the joy, and the awesome awareness of His presence I had experienced before…were all things I had imagined.

Next day I didn’t watch porn, and I thought because I was busy with school work. The day after I didn’t watch porn either and I thought because the whole week was a busy week with school work! After a week I realized that I didn’t watch porn for the last week nor did I think about it or desired to watch it! That’s when it hit me: I was free! Hallelujah, Jesus set me free! Christianity works! My wonderful God is real! Everything He did before was real! So I went to pray again, and asked Him what I should do now! He put on my heart to go to www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/our_courses.php and register! So I did, and went through the online program for 2 months. And I have been free from pornography since that March night until today. I had a friend in high school was struggling with pornography too. He was from Pakistan and when I told him that I was free he didn’t understand how. I couldn’t explain it more to my friend than the blind man, whom our Lord Jesus healed, answered in John 9:25:

He replied, "…One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!"

It took me a while to realize that the Biblical principle in Dr. Stanley’s sermon works! What I did in that prayer is simply I gave up: surrendered. I stopped trying to do it in my own strength. I stopped trying to fight God’s war for Him. I stopped trying to earn His favour. I stopped trying to win my way according to my timing. I ceased striving.

If you read Gideon’s story, the story Dr. Stanley based his sermon outlines on, you will realize God did the same thing with Gideon and His army. I truly encourage you to read it. You can find it in the book of Judges.

Why did God free me this way? Well there are many reasons, here are some:

1) He wants to bring Himself the glory. If we do it on our own and succeed what does that tell the world about Him? Nothing. Then I could’ve written this whole story without a mention of Him. But the fact is I couldn’t break free from pornography on my own in a million years. It was all His work.

2) He desires to grow our faith. My faith wouldn’t have grown in a God that stands idle while I did everything myself. But now I know He is more than able to do everything He said will do.

3) God wants us to trust Him and know that He can handle His own affairs and wars. It is good to defend God and fight for Him, but we must let Him fight His own battles so the world to know that He is a mighty and powerful God, and that He is real.

Let me ask you some questions: if you are always fighting for your god, protecting it, speaking on its behave, defending it, what makes you think it is a real god? If your god can’t speak, what makes you so convinced it could create your mouth? If your god can’t fight its own battles against evil, what makes you think it can give you victory? If your god can’t defend itself, what makes you think it can protect you?

4) For others to see, hear, believe and come to know Him. If I was able to free myself from porn by myself, how would that draw people to Him?

You can say whatever you want about God. You can say that you don’t like Him. That you don’t believe in Him. You can say that you would rather live your life without Him, and spend eternity in Hell than in Heaven with Him. But you can’t tell me that I was not addicted beyond human hope to pornography and He freed me from it. You can’t tell me that my God isn’t real or that He is dead. You can’t tell me that my God is not powerful, or that He doesn’t love me and cares about me.

I remember a couple of years ago I was waiting for the bus (isn’t it strange how I realize a lot of things while waiting for the bus!), and thought to myself, “What is so horrible about pornography anyway?” (That was a couple of years after God freed me from it!) Then suddenly I had this very empty feeling in my chest when I remembered how spiritually thirsty I was when I was addicted to porn. I remember how horrible it felt to chase after something that does not satisfy and that it leads to more chasing…but it still does not satisfy! Ever since then until now, I would like to think that I have a healthy fear of pornography, and sin in general. (Remember, God created fear to protect us, just like pain. But how we view fear and respond to is what makes the difference between a protective fear and an enslaving fear.) Of course, porn’s destruction is much more than the chasing after something that does not satisfy. But I won’t go into how much it has actually ruined countless lives, because many websites and statistics are available for those who are truly seeking to know the truth about porn’s destructive power.

1 John 4:4 says:

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

It is sad how many Christians have opinions about sin that are not based on God Word. I read things such as, “It is my motives that count…so even though I do this and that, I do them without lusting…” Really? Where does the Bible teaches that? When our Lord talked about motives he was talking about fasting, praying, and giving to the poor not about sin! You can’t sin with pure motives! It doesn’t make sense! You can fool me, and you can fool your church congregation! But how can you live with yourself knowing that you are lying to yourself! And how are you going to fool God? Rather, how are you going to face Him?

And some Christians even say “it is natural to do so and so”. Yes, you are correct, but since when does the Bible talk about our nature as if it is holy! Our nature is corrupt and sinful, so why do we say “natural” as if it is a good thing! It is natural to get angry and want to get revenge; it is natural to lie when accused of something; it is natural to cheat when we want to get our way…but what does the Bible teach about all those examples of “natural behaviour”? They are all sin and do not fit us as sons and daughters of the living God!

No, I am not talking about people who are addicted to drugs, porn, alcohol, and so on. I am not even talking to the unbelieving world here. I am talking to us, Christians. I truly believe that there is a huge difference between someone who is sinning—because he or she are addicted to a certain sin, regardless of how they got themselves into this mess—but they absolutely hate that sin and want to be free from it, and between someone who knows he is sinning but has no problem with it--welcomes sin in his life.

I am going to say something here that I think will make a lot of people dislike me, but I am going to say it anyway and hope that you take it with an attitude knowing that I am not judging anybody here:

If you are a woman who has Christ in her life, please re-consider the way you dress. Not according to my standards, or the church you attend. Certainly not according to the standards of the latest fashion or to “that is the only thing available in stores nowadays”. Don’t go to someone else asking their opinion or read an article about it. Go directly to God’s Word and ask God directly, and if you are honestly seeking to follow Him He will show you His way. But I must warn you: once He makes His will clear you won’t have peace until you obey Him.

You might be wondering why I am talking about women’s dressing in a topic about porn! Well, men are very visual so they sin by lusting (even women do that, but I am not sure they do so as much as men do) and so porn is a naturally attractive sin to them. Women desire to feel beautiful, desired, wanted and so she tries to meet those need by dressing in a way that attracts men’s attention. And that’s how she gets her momentarily (short-lived: like all the promises Satan makes in regard to sin) emotional high by noticing a man looking at her. But what I want to ask you is this: if you go home and you are all by yourself and have nothing to do, how do you feel: empty, far from your heavenly Father; or peaceful and your heart is flowing with love and adoration for Him?

Causing to Sin, Mark 9:42-50:

"And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where

" 'their worm does not die,

and the fire is not quenched.' Everyone will be salted with fire.

"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other."

If you are a man who has Christ in his life, please take some time, be quiet with God, and think about where you were yesterday spiritually, where you are today, and where you are heading tomorrow! Evaluate your life. Evaluate your ways. Seek to know God better. Make decisions, daily decisions, to live for Him. Live a pure life starting with your heart and mind. Think about your future wife (or present wife), think about your kids. You are going to be the leader of the house who represents Christ to the whole household! Will they see Him through you? Or will your daughters grow up thinking that they have to look beautiful, sexy, and act in certain ways to get a man’s attention and love? Think about God’s awesome and wonderful purpose that He desires to accomplish through you. Think about God’s reputation among the people who know you. Please don’t settle for less. We are not going to be given another chance after this life!

“Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment” (Hebrews 9:27)

If you realize you are sinning against God while you are on your way home then repent right away and seek to follow Him! It is never too late to make a decision to live for Him, even if you just realized that at the end of the day. Daily surrender yourself to Him if that’s what it takes for you to live a pure and blameless life.

I will stop here. All I ask is that if you claim to believe something about God put it into practice. Whether in regard to your identity in Him, your personal agendas vs. His plans and purposes, or if you claim to believe that Christ died for someone else’s sin then why not forgive them? Remember, John 13:17:

“Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

What things? The things that are written in God’s Word, and the Holy Spirit reveals to you.

And don't ever lose focus of this fact: all things are done through His goodness, grace and mercy—it, life here on earth and eternal life, is all about Him. However, for Him: it is all about you. It is the "Lord's favour" and not our own works whether in being saved or the power to live for Him: it is all about His grace.

Nothing But the Blood

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wej1jHtiH-M

(Toronot, ON; winter 2008.)

Some may think :

love is finding peace,joy and happiness

I say

When you have found

joy peace and happiness -

love will find you

If you have to seek love

thinking it will bring you

peace joy and happiness ,

the sequence is wrong,

therefore the moment

you feel you have lost

what you call love -

lose yourself in the process

Love is more than emotion

and affection or passion

Love is more than romantic love

you feel from inside projecting it

Love is also from outside taking it in

Self love and self worth

Love is a butterfly

To learn how to process feelings

and emotions to find balance and

self control

To fallow the sequence in the proses

Stages of development metamorphoses; behold

becoming a beautiful butterfly

With wings colourful delicate.

Wings to fly

be free and high,

to look and see

with a wide angle eye

Jealousy and rage are

the devouring appetite of

the ever consuming caterpillar

that eats it's way through

emotions and feeling

sound echoes of ego

Let it rest in a cocoon of processing...

I am good enough -

I am loved -

I love myself for who I am -

worthy happy and at peace

When the egg of doubt and deception

hatch and reveal itself

as the consuming caterpillar

I know it is not love

it is a reaction to be processed

for love :-

is a butterfly and free

Do not call a butterfly a caterpillar

and a worm-like caterpillar

is not a butterfly

Jealousy is not because of love

It is because of pain that hurts

Because of an emotion to be processed

during quiet cocoon time

coming out of it

finding the freedom

and beauty to fly

with the flapping wings

of a butterfly

Called love

Marina v.d B 4 Oct 2015

We were in Santa Maria, CA for a FastCAT trial this weekend, so of course we had to make a trip to Morro Bay for some photos.

This took a lot of self control from Rumble. Having to 'stay' this close to the ocean was TOUGH!

He did great though and got paid with lots of yummy treats.

Concert - Self Control Project

Ramadan and Eid al-Fitr

The month of fasting

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. Islam uses a lunar calendar—that is, each month begins with the sighting of the new moon. Because the lunar calendar is about 11 days shorter than the solar calendar used elsewhere, Islamic holidays "move" each year. In 2015, Ramadan begins at sundown on June 18th.

For more than a billion Muslims around the world—including some 8 million in North America—Ramadan is a "month of blessing" marked by prayer, fasting, and charity. Ramadan focuses on self-sacrifice and devotion to Allah (God).

Why this Month?

Muslims believe that during the month of Ramadan, Allah revealed the first verses of the Qur'an, the holy book of Islam. Around 610 A.D., a caravan trader named Muhammad took to wandering the desert near Mecca (in today's Saudi Arabia) while thinking about his faith. One night a voice called to him from the night sky. It was the angel Gabriel, who told Muhammad he had been chosen to receive the word of Allah. In the days that followed, Muhammad found himself speaking the verses that would be transcribed as the Qur'an.

At many mosques during Ramadan, about one thirtieth of the Qur'an is recited each night in prayers known as tarawih. In this way, by the end of the month the complete scripture will have been recited.

Fasting

Muslims practice sawm, or fasting, for the entire month of Ramadan. This means that they may eat or drink nothing, including water, while the sun shines. Fasting is one of the Five Pillars (duties) of Islam. As with other Islamic duties, all able Muslims take part in sawm from about age twelve.

During Ramadan in the Muslim world, most restaurants are closed during the daylight hours. Families get up early for suhoor, a meal eaten before the sun rises. After the sun sets, the fast is broken with a meal known as iftar. Iftar usually begins with dates and sweet drinks that provide a quick energy boost.

Fasting serves many purposes. While they are hungry and thirsty, Muslims are reminded of the suffering of the poor. Fasting is also an opportunity to practice self-control and to cleanse the body and mind. And in this most sacred month, fasting helps Muslims feel the peace that comes from spiritual devotion as well as kinship with fellow believers.

Eid al-Fitr

Ramadan ends with the festival of Eid al-Fitr, which in 2015 occurs on July 17. Literally the "Festival of Breaking the Fast," Eid al-Fitr is one of the two most important Islamic celebrations (the other occurs after the Hajj, or pilgrimage to Mecca). At Eid al-Fitr people dress in their finest clothes, adorn their homes with lights and decorations, give treats to children, and enjoy visits with friends and family.

A sense of generosity and gratitude colors these festivities. Although charity and good deeds are always important in Islam, they have special significance at the end of Ramadan. As the month draws to a close, Muslims are obligated to share their blessings by feeding the poor and making contributions to mosques.

Source : www.infoplease.com/spot/ramadan1.html

Week 27 (More than halfway there!!)

Inspired by Kalie Garrett's wonderful photo.

Please press L and view large! :)

Heh what can I say, I have very little self control in Photoshop :|

Yes, it's another wet leaf -- BUT - I thought this was a particularly pretty one.

This picture was shot inside in a little akhara (gymnasia) lost in the fields near Sakalhida, a village in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.

Here pehlwans (Indian wrestlers) who have a rural life don't have many visitors however they were very happy to meet me and they easily accepted to pose in front of my camera.

It might be because, unconsciously, in order to bring about the utopia envisioned and presaged by the ideology of wrestling, it is the moral duty of every wrestler to convert others to his chosen life path.

"It can be said that a wrestler is not a wrestler unless he makes others into wrestlers.

The wicked and the corrupt are quick to swell their ranks with converts, while the pure and honest sit back quietly.

Is goodness cowardly and shy? Is it selfish? It is essential that we put our lives behind goodness. Today! Now! . . .

A wrestler must have a missionary spirit.

He must be obsessed with the advancement of wrestling.

He must get excited about his art.

He must be interested in spreading the word throughout the nation.

He must make wrestling contagious; not as a disease, but as a way of life" (K. P. Singh).

"It is incumbent on every wrestler to read the poetics of this nationalism into the particular situation of his own life.

What this means is to be able to translate personal strength into national integrity, personal health into national well-being and self-control into national discipline".

("The Wrestler's Body: Identity and Ideology in North India" by Joseph S. Alter)

© All photographs are copyrighted and all rights reserved.

Please do not use any photographs without permission (even for private use).

The use of any work without consent of the artist is PROHIBITED and will lead automatically to consequences.

Since April 1st 2015, I have been in colors and after four months of discipline and self-control, I am back to my Black and White. August is a special month for Malaysia and colors will come when time comes.

Thomas’s enthusiasm is infectious, and he has a refreshing optimism. Instead of whining or demanding that you play with him, rather his expression when he wants to play and you come into the room says, “Oh boy, I’ll bet you came to play with me!” When he sees a pile of warm clothes being carried out of the dryer, well of course I’m carrying them to the couch for him to lounge on. (And it’s hard not to always give the warm pile to the one who is doing back handsprings to show how happy it makes him.) In a human world where self-control is too often valued over abundant enthusiasm, Thomas reminds me how gratifying it can be to share someone’s zest for life. In entering Thomas’s world, we shed convention and, in the process, rediscover play. He teaches me to not let pride (that is, not wanting to appear goofy) get in the way of having fun.

no self control into the darkness

hidden silences

(unknown model)

I really want to post something else tonight. Really really want to. But I am not going to. I am going to exercise some shred of self-control and hold off, because if I didn't, if I did show you a different image tonight it would not really be what I want to show you, just a reasonable simulacrum. So I am going to be patient. Because I have a new project in the works, one that I am pretty excited about and ready to really dig into doing. And if it turns out half as well as I expect.... well then I will have something to share with you all and not just a digital doppelganger. Ha, listen to me! Simulacrums and doppelgangers, I am just missing a homunculus or two. Anyway, this makes very little sense to you I am sure. Sorry about that. It isn't going to make much more sense for a little while for almost all of you out there. It's ok, just be patient like I am almost being for a bit longer. In the meanwhile, I'm going to go off to my happy place (or at least one of many), the St. Johns Bridge.

(Sorry, don't mean to be a tease, just excited is all)

The World We Live In

The Killers

This is world that we live in

I feel myself get tired

This is the world that we live in

Well maybe I was mistaken

I heard a rumor that you quit this day and age

Well maybe I was mistaken

Bless your body, bless your soul

Pray for peace and self control

I gotta believe it's worth it

Without a victory,

I'm so sanctified and free

Well maybe I'm just mistaken

Lesson learned and the wheels keep turning

This is the world that we live in

I can't take blame for two

This is the world that we live in

And maybe we'll make it through

Bless your body, bless your soul

Pray for peace and self-control

Underneath the waterfall

Baby we're still in this

This is the world that we live in

Feel myself get tired

This is the world that we live in

I had a dream that I was falling, down

There's no next time, alone

A storm wastes its water on me

But my life was free

I guess it's the world that we live in

It's not too late for that

This is the world that we live in

And no, we can't go back

This is the world that we live in

We still want something real

This is the world that we live in

I know that

This is the world that we live in

Songwriters: BRANDON FLOWERS, DAVE BRENT KEUNING, MARK AUGUST STOERMER, RONNIE JR. VANNUCCI

© Universal Music Publishing Group

I'm using self control, I didn't get two of anything.

July 15 (in case you forgot, I expect you all there)

View on black or I will blow the powdery sugar on the funnel cakes at you.

Lennox case update. Defence lawyers have made legal arguments to appeal judge. will have to wait to see what happens. Sorry I've not been around, hope to be fully back in the swing soon.

Statement on Lennox by Sarah Fisher

It has been brought to my attention that a small clip of my assessment of Lennox has been put on the

internet. This clip has been taken completely out of context and whilst I have remained relatively

quiet on this case since I spoke in court, I feel that I am now forced to make a statement to clarify

what actually happened during the time I was with Lennox.

Wrongly or rightly many documents and details about this case have been passed onto different

parties. I do not feel it is appropriate for me at this moment to discuss in detail everything that has

been said to me, nor to put forward my own ideas regarding all the statements made, as everyone is

entitled to their own opinion and beliefs. What I am qualified to do however is to discuss behaviour.

My assessments, statements and videos of those assessments have been accepted in other court cases

at Magistrates, County and Crown Courts here in the UK so the field of assessment in cases such as

this is not unknown to me.

I do not care if I am to be criticized by members of the public or even other professional bodies as I

have a wealth of experience handling and working with many breeds of dogs, large and small and I

also work with horses with behavioural issues so do not need to defend the claims that I have little or

no experience of working with powerful animals such as Pit Bull Types. I would however like to

clarify that a Pit Bull Type is often a mix of dogs. Nothing extraordinary happens to the psyche of a

dog when it conforms to certain measurements.

I do care however that Lennox is being portrayed in a poor light through this video clip as my

experience of handling Lennox was thoroughly enjoyable and I now feel the need to explain in greater

detail the truth, as I see it, about my assessment. I know that Victoria Stilwell has been what I would

consider to be a sane voice amidst the madness that surrounds this case and she has seen full video

footage of the assessments carried out by myself and David Ryan plus other documentation.

When the door to the van was first opened Lennox barked. He barked at me three times when I

approached. As I said in my report this is not uncommon behaviour in any dog that is in a confined

situation in a crate, kennel or in a car. He was also shaking like a leaf but this does not come over in

the video that my assistant took of this assessment. He was clearly frightened as he could not have

known what was going to happen to him and again this is not an uncommon behaviour in the dogs

that come to me for help. No one has ever disputed that Lennox can be anxious around some strangers

but I believe the key word some has sadly been overlooked.

I asked for someone that Lennox knew to take him out of the crate to keep his stress levels low. Entry

and exit points can be a source of conflict for any dog. I was told I had to handle Lennox on my own

for the entire assessment and that he had bitten the last person that came to see him. This is the clip

that has been released. Had I had any concerns for my safety or those around me given that I was to

be fully and wholly responsible for a dog that I do not know and that I had been told has bitten, I

would not have continued with the assessment if I believed that dog to be a danger either to myself or

those who were standing in the car park. Lennox gave me a lot of information about his temperament

whilst in the crate. In court however, and therefore under oath, Ms Lightfoot the Dog Warden stated

that in fact Lennox had not bitten anyone so I have to assume on the evidence placed before the court

that the statement made to me at the start of my assessment was untrue. Given the publicity

surrounding this case I am also confident that had Lennox actually bitten anyone whilst in the care of

his family as has been suggested someone would have come forward by now.

I spent approx 15 minutes with Lennox prior to being taken from the crate, working with a clicker and

some treats to see if, even in the environment that was causing him some anxiety, he could still learn

and take direction from a stranger. He could. His eyes were soft and he was friendly. At this point I

would also like to clarify the meaning of the word friendly. It does not mean confident. Was Lennox

anxious? Yes. Hostile? No.

I believe that Lennox would have been totally at ease had I indeed taken him out myself but I also

believe I have a duty of care to reduce stress where possible when handling any animal in a situation

that is causing them distress. No doubt this statement will also be taken out of context by those who

wish to discredit me and to discredit my belief that Lennox is not a danger to the public based on my

experience with him and also based on the video assessment carried out by David Ryan which I have

also seen.

I use food in an assessment to monitor the dogs stress levels and emotions at all times. It is not a

bribe. A habitually aggressive dog will generally seek out conflict in my experience but even these

dogs can often be rehabilitated. No amount of food can disguise this behaviour and giving food to a

dog with aggression issues can be extremely dangerous. The dog may be lured to a person by the

promise of food but once it has taken the food it may panic as the offering of the food has now

brought that dog into close proximity with the threat i.e. a stranger. I have worked with dogs with

aggression issues and whilst some may well take the food, the person delivering the food may not be

able to move once the food has gone as the movement of the person, even the smallest movement of

their arm, may trigger the dog to lunge and bite. I would not hand feed a dog that I deem to be

aggressive. The delivery of the treat must come from the person that the dog knows and trusts - not

the stranger. The dog can learn to approach a threat and then turn back to the person that the dog trusts

for the reward if the approach to the person is appropriate. I use food throughout an assessment to

monitor what is happening with the dog on an emotional and physical level not to make him my best

friend.

Lennox was so gentle with the taking of the food both in the crate and also later in the car park. He

was also appropriate in his behaviour with the games we played. He was also gentle when he jumped

up at me to see if he was allowed the food that I was withholding in my hand. When he realised it

wasn't forthcoming he politely backed off. This would suggest to me that he has been around a family.

Not chained up in a yard as has also been claimed by people who do not know the family or the dog.

Lennox showed excellent impulse control at all times and at no point did he grab me or my own

clothing which many dogs do when getting excited by a game. I have worked with some truly

challenging dogs and some will become increasingly aroused by lead ragging or games with toys and

start seriously mouthing or biting the handlers arms or clothing. This can quickly flip over to more

overt aggression and these dogs can be dangerous particularly if they are being handled by just one

person. It is imperative that dogs with this behaviour are taught a more appropriate way of interacting

with people and responding to the leash and also greater self control. There are many ways to help

dogs that have been encouraged, through mishandling and misunderstanding, to behave in such a

manner. Kicking and beating them is certainly not the answer.

Lennox does rag on the lead but it is very self controlled. He did not exhibit any of the behaviours that

I have mentioned above. Regardless of what some uneducated people may wish to think, it is possible

to glean a lot of information about a dog through games and food as many behaviour counsellors and

trainers will confirm.

I wrote a fifteen page report on my experience with Lennox and my thoughts about the David Ryan

assessment. In this report I state that I have concerns about the appearance of Lennox’s neck. In the

video I explain this too. His ears are unlevel and there was a change in the lay of his coat over the

Atlas in line with the nuchal ligament that is present between T1 and C2 vertebrae. Coat changes

often occur in dogs, cats and horses that have suffered injury or those that are unwell. I have studied

this over seventeen years of handling many animals. In all cases where I referred an animal back to a

vet, whether it was in the care of a shelter, owned by my private clients or students that I teach

changes to the soft tissue or skeleton were noted on further detailed investigation. When I see this

around the neck in a dog I know that it is likely to give the dog cause for concern when someone

unknown to that dog attempts to handle the collar or put on or take off a lead. Coat changes may well

be present where deep bruising has also occurred. Pain and pain memory is a key factor in many

behavioural problems.

Lennox was quite rightly put on Amitriptyline. I do not believe that the Council have failed in their

duty to care for Lennox when it comes to the stress that he has been under and I understand that this

drug is used to treat anxiety and depression. It was with interest, though, that I discovered that this

drug is also used to treat chronic pain in dogs. Again this was mentioned in my written report. This

may explain in part why my experience with Lennox seems to fly in the face of other evidence

presented before the courts. He was not on Amitriptyline when he was assessed by David Ryan.

I would absolutely move on to touch an animal all over its body in any assessment that I do. I may or

may not choose to muzzle a dog that is unknown to me to do this if I have concerns about the body

language that I have seen prior to this part of my assessment. I elected not to stroke Lennox all over

because of my concerns about his neck, the newly forming scabs that were present on his flanks and

the blood that was present around the nail beds around his right hind foot. This decision was made

based on the physical evidence before me not because I felt I would be in danger. I talked about this

in court which was open to the public and at the end of my assessment which is also on film I

explained this to a representative from the BCC Dog Warden team and asked if there was anything

else that she would like me to do with Lennox. She said no.

I cannot comment on what happened when Lennox was seized or measured by Peter Tallack because I

wasn't there. I can explain behaviour though and any frightened animal can be intimidating. I have

recently been in Romania working with traumatised horses and two stallions had not been mucked out

for months as the staff (men) were too scared to go in with them. They called them 'pitbulls' such is

the misguided impression of this type of dog. Hay had been simply thrown over the stable doors and

their water buckets were hanging crushed against the stable wall. I went in with them, not because I

have any desire to be a hero, but because I can read an animal well and within minutes they were

quiet, standing at the end of their stables albeit it pressed up against the walls. I was calm with them

and we took out all the filthy bedding and fetched new water buckets for them too. They didn't attack

anyone. They were simply terrified and they were not provoked. I spent time with one of them on my

own, hand feeding him and was finally able to touch his face. This process probably took less than

half an hour. I was totally absorbed in what I was doing and when I turned to walk out I realised that

one of the Romanian men had been watching me. He raised his eyebrows, gave me the thumbs up and

walked away. Other people could then go in with this magnificent horse too and hand feed him the

fresh sweet grass that we had picked from the surrounding fields so it isn’t simply that I am quiet in

my handling of animals nor possess some extraordinary skill that can make even the most savage lion

behave like a lamb when in my company.

I can perhaps, help an animal that is struggling, gain trust in human beings as many people can. I can

perhaps work with a difficult animal and make it look as though that animal is calm but all the time I

am reading that animal. Every second of the way. I am looking at the eyes if it is safe to do so, I am

watching the respiration, I am studying the movement, the set of the ears and the tail and so on and

my opinions about an animal are based on many years of working in this way. One case that will

always stand out in my mind was a large member of the Bull Breed family. I believe she was two

years old. I won’t go into the details here but I will say that when I worked with her she appeared to

be very good to the member of kennel staff that was watching. At the end of my assessment the

member of staff asked me what I thought. I sadly had to say that I thought the dog should be put to

sleep. The member of staff was horrified and I remember her saying ‘but she’s been so good with

you’. But I had noticed some worrying signs. The shelter ignored my advice and rehomed the dog

who savaged the new owner so badly the owner ended up in the ICU. Of course the dog was

immediately destroyed.

I knew what I was walking into when I agreed to go and assess Lennox for the family. To have to

defend Lennox outside of the court has, however, come as a surprise. I have made this statement to

shed a little more light on what is a distressing case for all those involved, knowing full well that I

will no doubt be subject to further scrutiny and criticism. So be it. I am not afraid. If nothing else this

case has highlighted some important issues about the fears and prejudice concerning dogs, their breed

types and their behaviour. Certainly it highlights the sad truth as Xenephon said so wisely in 400 BC.

Where knowledge ends, violence begins.

Can I have them now

Aqui mi nuevo blend, y desde aqui comienza una nueva era :D.

the conversion of constantine

the conversion of constantine, and thereby the late roman empire, has had an enormous impact on world history. i have always wondered how a break away minor jewish sect based on the short and confused ministry of yeshua ben pantera was transformed into the christian juggernaut. the early christian community (from the death of yeshua to the 4th century) was an often persecuted lot. the common history is that christ appeared to constantine before the battle at pons milvius (where constantine was leading a machiavellian challenge for the control of the western half of the roman empire against the legitimate emperor) and bid him to follow the banner of the cross to victory. after said victory under said banner, constantine relaxed proscriptions against the christian community, and eventually adopted christianity as the legal state religion of the empire. this formal sanction led to the explosive political growth of the church [catholic and otherwise] and is the reason we worship christ the savior.

however, but for a figurative coin toss of history, we would be praying to mithra the redeemer. mithra who? you say. mithraism was another near east faith based on a son of god as savior motif very popular in the eastern half of the roman empire at the time of constantine.

mithra:

the cult of mithra (sidebar) was revered as a light-bringer, a protector and judge of immortal souls. mithra the god-figure remained celibate throughout his life, and valued self-control, renunciation and resistance to sensuality among his worshippers. mithras represented a system of ethics in which brotherhood was encouraged in order to unify against the forces of evil. mithraic rituals involved the symbolic consumption of wine/blood and bread/flesh, baptismal purification, and celebrated the birthday of mithra on december 25th. sound familar? consider then, that the myth of mithra predates christianity by many many centuries. cross-pollination of myths and ethos in the ancient near east was very common. it is important to understand that there is no single pure theology. they are all quilt-work.

the mithraic belief system was focused on the role of mithra as enforcer of truth. the avesta, the zoroastrian holy book, relates that ahura-mazda, the zoroaster Lord figure, sent mithra to guarantee the sanctity of promises and bonds. in fact, mithra is persian for 'contract'. mithras was worshipped as guardian of arms, and patron of soldiers and armies. the handshake was developed by those who worshipped him as a token of friendship and as a gesture to show that you were unarmed. when mithras later became the Roman god of contracts, the handshake gesture was imported throughout the mediterranean and europe by roman soldiers.

mithraism was adopted first by the roman legions garrisoned in the east during the republic. i presume they were attracted to its emphasis on honor, strength, and action. by the late empire under diocletian (284 - 305 AD), mithra was the de facto (and de jure) state religion. mithraic temples, known as mithraeum, were found at all corners of the empire, from northern england to northern africa.

mithraism was a revealed mystery faith. you did not merely convert to mithraism with a ritual baptism and declaration of submission. like the free masons, you had to be chosen and initiated in secret ceremonies into the ranks of the believers. perhaps this was a critical shortcoming of the faith in competition against the more liberal membership rites of christianity. an initiate was first required to prove their courage and strength in tests of danger (crossing swift rivers, jumping through fire bound and blindfolded, etc...) the mithraic initiation process led the acolyte through seven stages of greater revealed knowledge: Corax (Raven), Nymphus (Male Bride), Miles (Soldier), Leo (Lion), Peres (Persian), Heliodromus (Sun-Runner), and Pater (Father); each respective grade protected by Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, the Moon, the Sun, and Saturn.

mithraism was the faith of the realm for several centuries before constantine supplanted it. but for his conversion, the west, and the world would be a dramatically different place.

And Jehoshaphat stood in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem, in the house of the LORD, before the new court, and said, “O LORD, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you. Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel, and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? And they have lived in it and have built for you in it a sanctuary for your name, saying, ‘If disaster comes upon us, the sword, judgment, or pestilence, or famine, we will stand before this house and before you—for your name is in this house—and cry out to you in our affliction, and you will hear and save.’

(2 Chronicles 20:5-9 ESV)

.

======================

© All rights reserved to TARQE ALZHARANI

Do NOT use this photo in any way without having my permission.

View large

Pistachio, mint and vanilla gelato covered in fresh whipped cream, drizzled with chocolate sauce, topped with diced hazelnuts and whole macademia nuts, finished with a wafer slice.

Gelato is Italian ice cream made from milk, sugar and other flavours.. The ingredients are frozen while stirring to break up ice crystals as they form. Like high end ice cream, gelato generally has less than 35% air - resulting in a dense and extremely flavourful product.

God Almighty says in the Quran, "O you who believe, fasting has been prescribed for you so that you may learn self control" -Self-control is centered on the ability of a person to exert their will over the inhibitions of their body or self.

In the 1960s, Walter Mischel tested four year old children for self control in "The Marshmallow Test": the children were each given a marshmallow and told that they can eat it anytime they want, but if they waited 15 minutes, they would receive another marshmallow. Follow up studies showed that the results correlated well with these children's success levels in later life.

So it seems, that God Almighty wishes us to be successful by helping us develop our self control :)

*NOTE: Thank you so much to those of you who follow my posts. I wanted to let you know that I have not renewed my pro account, but I have started a second Flickr account instead. My original account, Humble Christ Follower 1, is now only going to focus on photos taken throughout North and Central Florida. Humble Christ Follower 2 (www.flickr.com/photos/198359916@N03/albums), my new account, is where I will now post photos taken outside of Florida, primarily focusing on Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina.

BIBLICAL CONTEXT: Proverbs 16:1-33 NIV

(from biblegateway.com)

1 To humans belong the plans of the heart,

but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.

2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them,

but motives are weighed by the Lord.

3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do,

and he will establish your plans.

4 The Lord works out everything to its proper end—

even the wicked for a day of disaster.

5 The Lord detests all the proud of heart.

Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

6 Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;

through the fear of the Lord evil is avoided.

7 When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way,

he causes their enemies to make peace with them.

8 Better a little with righteousness

than much gain with injustice.

9 In their hearts humans plan their course,

but the Lord establishes their steps.

10 The lips of a king speak as an oracle,

and his mouth does not betray justice.

11 Honest scales and balances belong to the Lord;

all the weights in the bag are of his making.

12 Kings detest wrongdoing,

for a throne is established through righteousness.

13 Kings take pleasure in honest lips;

they value the one who speaks what is right.

14 A king’s wrath is a messenger of death,

but the wise will appease it.

15 When a king’s face brightens, it means life;

his favor is like a rain cloud in spring.

16 How much better to get wisdom than gold,

to get insight rather than silver!

17 The highway of the upright avoids evil;

those who guard their ways preserve their lives.

18 Pride goes before destruction,

a haughty spirit before a fall.

19 Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed

than to share plunder with the proud.

20 Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,

and blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord.

21 The wise in heart are called discerning,

and gracious words promote instruction.

22 Prudence is a fountain of life to the prudent,

but folly brings punishment to fools.

23 The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent,

and their lips promote instruction.

24 Gracious words are a honeycomb,

sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

25 There is a way that appears to be right,

but in the end it leads to death.

26 The appetite of laborers works for them;

their hunger drives them on.

27 A scoundrel plots evil,

and on their lips it is like a scorching fire.

28 A perverse person stirs up conflict,

and a gossip separates close friends.

29 A violent person entices their neighbor

and leads them down a path that is not good.

30 Whoever winks with their eye is plotting perversity;

whoever purses their lips is bent on evil.

31 Gray hair is a crown of splendor;

it is attained in the way of righteousness.

32 Better a patient person than a warrior,

one with self-control than one who takes a city.

33 The lot is cast into the lap,

but its every decision is from the Lord.

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5 MORE THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. Like it or not, we are ALL sinners: As the Scriptures say, “No one is righteous—not even one. No one is truly wise; no one is seeking God. All have turned away; all have become useless. No one does good, not a single one.” (Romans 3:10-12 NLT)

2. The punishment for sin is death: When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. (Romans 5:12 NLT)

3. Jesus is our only hope: But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:8 NLT) For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23 NLT)

4. SALVATION is by GRACE through FAITH in JESUS: God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:8-10 NLT)

5. Accept Jesus and receive eternal life: If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9 NLT) But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. (John 1:12 NLT) And this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life. (1 John 5:11-12 NLT)

Read the Bible for yourself. Allow the Lord to speak to you through his Word. YOUR ETERNITY IS AT STAKE!

Watch thoughts of wisdom, humor, comedy, and laughter here. Life short spend time with your family and make the most of it. watch all my YouTube channel search out tinglott1. thanks

Golden Temple/Punjab/India

("The Guru Granth Sahib" is a collection of the writings that was compiled by the 5th Sikh Guru;

"Sikhism" considers spiritual life and secular life -to be intertwined, shared and have equality between all people-.

Sikhs also believe that -all religious traditions are equally valid and capable of enlightening their followers-.

In addition to sharing with others Guru Nanak inspired people -to earn an honest living without exploitation and also the need for remembrance of the divine God-.

Guru Nanak described living an -active, creative, and practical life- of -truthfulness, fidelity, self-control and purity- as being higher than a purely contemplative life.

The ideal Sikh should have both; Shakti (power that resides in the temporal), and Bhakti (spiritual meditative qualities).

Sikhs are expected to embody the qualities of a "Sant-Sipāhī"—a saint-soldier. Sikhs are expected to have control over the so-called "Five Thieves" dispel these by means of the so-called "Five Virtues"...)

Copyright © 2010 by inigolai/Photography

No part of this picture may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means (on websites, blogs) without prior permission.

Why do we always overthink anything that happens to our life?

Something amazing may be happening to us and yet a million thoughts come rushing down and make us suffocate.

When we are used to do it every single time,we won't ever let ourselves free and that's one of the worst mistakes anyone can do.

Try to avoid fear,negativity and self control. Some matters don't need any of that.

Take off all those that hold you back.

Some things just happen and we should embrace them.

What if all this won't end up being wasted time?What if this time you won't fall?

What if you fly?

A.

*quote by Erin Hanson

My Facebook Page

In matters of self-control as we shall see again and again, speed kills. But a little friction really can save lives.

Daniel Akst

I have no self control. I just bought this old bookshelf the other day, blasted it with some orange & black paint and hauled out some stuff that was waiting 'til next Halloween to reappear...what the hell?

Gentleness and self-control.

Gentleness is rooted in an attitude of humility before God. In experiencing God's gentleness to us, we desire to demonstrate the same to others.

"24 And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth," 2 Timothy 2:24-25

This leads to self-control because gentleness is meekness, not weakness.

Meekness is power under control. Every person is powerful. We can speak words that influence others; we can act in ways that help or hurt; and we can choose what influences will inform our words and actions. So, gentleness leads to self-control, which constrains and channels that power in our desire to be like the Lord Jesus Christ.

Our objectives and goals become increasing less about ourselves and more about the glory of our God. His will and His thoughts control and inform what we do.

"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

This Thanksgiving we can thank God for all of these wonderful fruits of the Spirit, freely given to everyone who will repent and believe upon the Lord Jesus Christ!

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

__________________________

A year of the shows and performers of the Bijou Planks Theater.

They all look the same, dress the same way, use the same facial expressions and body language but each will tell you he's "doing his own thing" Interactions, mirroring consists of the parent imitating the infant's expressions while vocalizing the emotion implied by the expression. This imitation helps the infant to associate the emotion with their expression, as well as feel validated in their own emotions as the parent shows approval through imitation. Studies have demonstrated that mirroring is an important part of child and infant development. According to Kohut's theories of self-psychology, individuals need a sense of validation and belonging in order to establish their concepts of self. When parents mirror their infants, the action may help the child develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-control, as they can see their emotions within their parent's faces. Additionally, infants may learn and experience new emotions, facial expressions, and gestures by mirroring expressions that their parents utilize. The process of mirroring may help infants establish connections of expressions to emotions and thus promote social communication later in life. Infants also learn to feel secure and valid in their own emotions through mirroring, as the parent's imitation of their emotions may help the child recognize their own thoughts and feelings more readily.When we meet others for the first time, we need to assess quickly whether they are positive or negative towards us, just as most other animals do for survival reasons. We do this by scanning the other person's body to see if they will move or gesture the same way we do in what is known as 'mirroring'. We mirror each other's body language as a way of bonding, being accepted and creating rapport, but we are usually oblivious to the fact that we are doing it. In ancient times, mirroring was also a social device which helped our ancestors fit in successfully with larger groups; it is also a left-over from a primitive method of learning which involved imitation.Additionally, individuals are likely to mirror the person of higher status or power within the situation. Mirroring individuals of higher power may create an illusion of higher status, or create rapport with the individual in power, thus allowing the person to gain favor with the individual in power. This mechanism may be helpful for individuals in situations where they are in a position of bargaining with an individual who possesses more power, as the rapport that mirroring creates may help to persuade the higher status individual to help the person of lower status. These situations include job interviews, other work situations such as requesting promotions, parent-child interactions, and asking professors for favors. Each of these situations involve one party who is in a more powerless position for bargaining, and another party who has the ability to fulfill the person of lower status's needs, but may not necessarily wish to. Thus, mirroring can be a useful tool for individuals of lower status in order to persuade the other party to relinquish goods or privileges for the lower status party.Mirroring generally takes place subconsciously as individuals react with the situation. Mirroring is common in conversation, as the listeners will typically smile or frown along with the speaker, as well as imitate body posture or attitude about the topic. Individuals may be more willing to empathize with and accept people whom they believe hold similar interests and beliefs, and thus mirroring the person with whom one is speaking may establish connections between the individuals involved.

One of the most noticeable forms of mirroring is yawning - one person starts and it sets everyone off. Dr. Robert Provine found that yawning is so contagious you don't even need to see another person yawn - the sight of a wide-open mouth is enough to do it. It was once thought that the purpose of yawning was to oxygenate the body but we now know that it's a form of mirroring that serves to create rapport with others and to avoid aggression - just as it also does for this pictured boat and yawning building.

Wearing the same outfit as another woman is a mirroring no-no. But if two men show up at a party wearing the same outfit, they could become lifelong friends.

Non-verbally, mirroring says 'Look at me; I'm the same as you. I feel the same way and share the same attitudes.' This is why people at a rock concert will all jump to their feet and applaud simultaneously or give a 'Mexican Wave' together. The synchronicity of the crowd promotes a secure feeling in the participants. Similarly, people in an angry mob will mirror aggressive attitudes and this explains why many usually calm people can lose their cool in this situation.

The urge to mirror is also the basis on which a queue works. In a queue, people willingly co-operate with people they have never met and will never see again, obeying an unwritten set of behavioral rules while waiting for a bus, at an art gallery, in a bank or side by side in war. Professor Joseph Heinrich from the University of Michigan found that the urges to mirror others are hardwired into the brain because co-operation leads to more food, better health and economic growth for communities. It also offers an explanation as to why societies that are highly disciplined in mirroring, such as the British, Germans and ancient Romans successfully dominated the world for many years. Mirroring the other person's body language and appearance shows a united front and doesn't let either get one-up on the other

Mirroring makes others feel 'at ease'. It's such a powerful rapport-building tool that slow-motion video research reveals that it even extends to simultaneous blinking, nostril-flaring, eyebrow-raising and even pupil dilation, which is remarkable as these micro-gestures cannot be consciously imitated.

Creating the Right Vibes

Studies into synchronous body language behavior show that people who feel similar emotions, or are on the same wavelength and are likely to be experiencing a rapport, will also begin to match each other's body language and expressions. Being 'in sync' to bond with another person begins early in the womb when our body functions and heartbeat match the rhythm of our mother, so mirroring is a state to which we are naturally inclined.

When a couple are in the early stages of courtship it's common to see them behave with synchronous movements, almost as if they are dancing. For example, when a woman takes a mouthful of food the man wipes the corner of his mouth; or he begins a sentence and she finishes it for him. When she gets PMT, he develops a strong desire for chocolate; and when she feels bloated, he farts.

When a person says 'the vibes are right' or that they 'feel right' around another person, they are unknowingly referring to mirroring and synchronous behavior. For example, at a restaurant, one person can be reluctant to eat or drink alone for fear of being out of sync with the others. When it comes to ordering the meal, each may check with the others before ordering. 'What are you having?' they ask as they try to mirror their meals. This is one of the reasons why playing background music during a date is so effective - the music gets a couple to beat and tap in time together. Mirroring on a Cellular Level

American heart surgeon, Dr Memhet Oz, reported some remarkable findings from heart recipients. He found that, as with most other body organs, the heart appears to retain cellular memories, and this allows some patients to experience some of the emotions experienced by the heart donor. Even more remarkably, he found some recipients also assume the same gestures and posture of the donor even though they have never seen the donor. His conclusion was that it appears that the heart cells instruct the recipient's brains to take on the donor's body language. Conversely, people suffering from disorders such as autism have no ability to mirror or match the behavior of others, which makes it difficult for two-way communication with others. The same goes for drunk people whose gestures are out of sync with their words, making it impossible for any mirroring to occur.

Because of the phenomenon of cause and effect, if you intentionally assume certain body language positions you will begin to experience the emotions associated with those gestures. For example, if you feel confident, you may unconsciously assume the Steeple gesture to reflect your confidence, but if you intentionally Steeple you will not only begin to feel more confident, others will perceive that you're confident. This, then, becomes a powerful way to create a rapport with others by intentionally matching their body language and posture.

Mirroring Differences Between Men and Women

Geoffrey Beattie, at the University of Manchester, found that a woman is instinctively four times more likely to mirror another woman than a man is to mirror another man. He also found that women mirror men's body language too, but men are reluctant to mirror a woman's gestures or posture - unless he is in courtship mode.

When a woman says she can 'see' that someone doesn't agree with the group opinion she is actually 'seeing' the disagreement. She's picked up that someone's body language is out of sync with group opinion and they are showing their disagreement by not mirroring the group's body language. How women can 'see' disagreement, anger, lying or feeling hurt has always been a source of amazement to most men. It's because most men's brains are simply not well equipped to read the fine detail of others' body language and don't consciously notice mirroring discrepancies.

Men and women's brains are programmed differently to express emotions through facial expressions and body language. Typically, a woman can use an average of six main facial expressions in a ten-second listening period to reflect and then feed back the speaker's emotions. Her face will mirror the emotions being expressed by the speaker. To someone watching, it can look as if the events being discussed are happening to both women.

A woman reads the meaning of what is being said through the speaker's voice tone and his emotional condition through his body language. This is exactly what a man needs to do to capture a woman's attention and to keep her interested and listening. Most men are daunted by the prospect of using facial feedback while listening, but it pays big dividends for the man who becomes good at it.

Some men say 'She'll think I'm effeminate!', but research with these techniques shows that when a man mirrors a woman's facial expressions as she talks she will describe him as caring, intelligent, interesting and attractive.

Men, on the other hand, can make fewer than a third of the facial expressions a woman can make. Men usually hold expressionless faces, especially in public, because of the evolutionary need to withhold emotion to stave off possible attack from strangers and to appear to be in control of their emotions. This is why most men look as if they are statues when they listen.

The emotionless mask that men wear while listening allows them to feel in control of the situation, but does not mean men don't experience emotions. Brain scans reveal that men can feel emotion as strongly as women, but avoid showing it publicly.

What to Do About It if You're Female

The key to mirroring a man's behavior is in understanding that he doesn't use his face to signal his attitudes - he uses his body. Most women find it difficult to mirror an expressionless man but with males this is not required. If you're a woman, it means that you need to reduce your facial expressions so that you don't come across as overwhelming or intimidating. Most importantly, don't mirror what you think he might be feeling. That can be disastrous if you've got it wrong and you may be described as 'dizzy' or 'scatterbrained'. Women in business who listen with a more serious face are described by men as more intelligent, astute and sensible.

When Men and Women Start to Look Alike

When two people live together for a long time and have a good working relationship, they often begin to look alike. This is because they are constantly mirroring each other's facial expressions, which, over time, builds muscle definition in the same areas of the face. Even couples who don't look facially similar can appear similar in a photograph because they use the same smile.

n 2000, psychologist Dr John Gottman of the University of Washington, Seattle, and his colleagues, discovered that marriages are more likely to fail when one partner not only does not mirror the other's expressions of happiness, but instead shows expressions of contempt. Instead, this opposite behavior affects the smiling partner, even when they are not consciously aware of what is happening.

Do We Resemble Our Pets?

You can also see mirroring occur in the pets some people choose. Without realizing it, we unconsciously tend to favor pets that physically resemble us, or that appear to reflect our attitudes. To demonstrate the point, here are a couple of examples: too far and presume that our model of body language and social interpretation applies to a dog's body language.

Be careful however not to extrapolate the metaphor too far and presume that our model of body language and social interpretation applies to a dog's body language.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

The next time you attend a social function or go to a place where people meet and interact, notice the number of people who have taken the identical gestures and posture of the person with whom they're talking. Mirroring is the way one person tells another that he is in agreement with his ideas and attitudes. One is non-verbally saying to the other, 'As you can see, I think the same as you.' The person with the highest status often makes the first moves and the others copy, usually in pecking order.

In the image above it is apparent by virtue of the facial expressions and other body language that there is a good rapport between the US President's wife Michelle Obama, of informally superior status, and a university president. If Michelle changes her body posture, one might expect there is a reasonably good chance the gentleman will unconsciously emulate her posture, indirectly demonstrating they are of the same mind. Mirroring happens among friends or between people of the same status and it is common to see married couples walk, stand, sit and move in identical ways. Albert Scheflen found that people who are strangers studiously avoid holding mirror positions.

Matching Voices

Intonation, voice inflection, speed of speaking and even accents also synchronize during the mirroring process to further establish mutual attitudes and build rapport. This is known as 'pacing' and it can almost seem as if the two people are singing in tune. You will often see a speaker beating time with his hands while the listener matches the rhythm with head nods. As a relationship grows over time, the mirroring of the main body language positions becomes less as each person begins to anticipate the other's attitudes, and vocal pacing with the other person becomes a main medium for maintaining rapport.

Never speak at a faster rate than the other person. Studies reveal that others describe feeling 'pressured' when someone speaks more quickly than they do. A person's speed of speech shows the rate at which their brain can consciously analyze information. Speak at the same rate or slightly slower than the other person and mirror their inflection and intonation. Pacing is critical when attempting to make appointments by telephone because voice is your only communication medium.

Intentionally Creating Rapport

The significance of mirroring is one of the most important body language lessons you can learn because it's a clear way in which others tell us that they agree with us or like us. It is also a way for us to tell others that we like them, by simply mirroring their body language.

If a boss wants to develop a rapport and create a relaxed atmosphere with a nervous employee, he could copy the employee's posture to achieve this end. Similarly, an up-and-coming employee may be seen copying his boss's gestures in an attempt to show agreement when the boss is giving his opinion. Using this knowledge, it is possible to influence others by mirroring their positive gestures and posture. This has the effect of putting the other person in a receptive and relaxed frame of mind, because he can 'see' that you understand his point of view. Before you mirror someone's body language, however, you must take into consideration your relationship with that person. Let's say, for example, a corporate employee has asked for a pay rise and is called into his manager's office. The employee enters the office, the manager asks him to sit down and assumes the Catapult with a Figure-Four showing the employee a superior, dominant attitude. But what would happen if the subordinate then instinctively copied the manager's dominant body language while discussing the potential salary increase? A boss might perceive a subordinate's mirroring behavior as being pushy or impertinent

Even if the employee's manner of speaking and phrasing was typical of a subordinate, the manager could feel affronted by the employee's body language, placing the employee's pay increase request in doubt and perhaps posing a threat to his future promotability. Mirroring is also effective for intimidating or disarming people who deem themselves 'superior' and try to take control of situations. Accountants, lawyers and managers are notorious for using superiority body language clusters around people they consider inferior. By mirroring, you can disconcert them and force a change of position. But never do it to the boss. Through mirrored multi-tasking, these business associates are taking their minds off what can seem an awkward encroachment on their personal zones.

Who Mirrors Whom?

Research shows that when the leader of a group assumes certain gestures and positions, subordinates will copy, usually in pecking order. Leaders also tend to be the first of a group to walk through a doorway and they like to sit on the end of a sofa, table or bench seat rather than in the center. When a group of executives walks into a room, the person with the highest status usually goes first. When executives are seated in the boardroom, the boss usually sits at the head of the table, often furthest from the door. If the boss sits in the Catapult, his subordinates are likely to copy in order of their importance within the group You can see this in a meeting where people 'take sides' with others by mirroring their body language. This lets you see who will vote with you and who will vote against you.

Mirroring is a good strategy to use if you are part of a presentation team. Decide, in advance, that when the team spokesperson makes a gesture or takes a posture when speaking, the entire team will mirror. This not only gives your team the powerful appearance of being cohesive, it can frighten the hell out of competitors who suspect something is up, even though they can't quite figure out what it is. When presenting ideas, products and services to couples, watching who mirrors whom reveals where the ultimate power or final decision-making ability lies. If the woman makes the initial movements, however small, such as crossing her feet, lacing her fingers or using a Critical Evaluation cluster and the man copies, there is little point in asking him for a decision - he doesn't have the authority to make it. When we rub both of our eyes simultaneously, it is as if we are telling our psyches, "I wish I never saw that", or "I can't believe he did that". We are trying to wipe it from our minds. People will also display this body language tell when recalling a past event in the "mind's eye".

Group Mirroring

It happens on fall season Sundays in American football stadiums around the country. Suddenly, 50,000 individuals became a single unit, almost a single mind, focused intently on what was happening on the field - that particular touchdown grab or dive into the end zone. Somehow, virtually simultaneously, each of those 50,000 people tuned into what the other 49,999 were looking at.

Becoming part of a crowd can be exhilarating or terrifying: The same mechanisms that make people fans can just as easily make them fanatics. And throughout human history we have constructed institutions that provide that dangerous, enthralling thrill. The Coliseum-like stadiums that host American football games or soccer games throughout the world are, after all, just modern knockoffs of the massive theater that housed Roman crowds cheering their favorite gladiators 2,000 years ago.

In fact, recent studies suggest that our sensitivity to crowds is built into our perceptual system and operates in a remarkably swift and automatic way. In a 2012 paper in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, A.C. Gallup, then at Princeton University, and colleagues looked at the crowds that gather in shopping centers and train stations.

In one study, a few ringers simply joined the crowd and stared up at a spot in the sky for 60 seconds. Then the researchers recorded and analyzed the movements of the people around them. The scientists found that within seconds hundreds of people coordinated their attention in a highly systematic way. People consistently stopped to look toward exactly the same spot as the ringers.

The number of ringers ranged from one to 15. People turn out to be very sensitive to how many other people are looking at something, as well as to where they look. Individuals were much more likely to follow the gaze of several people than just a few, so there was a cascade of looking as more people joined in.

In a study in Psychological Science, Timothy Sweeny at the University of Denver and David Whitney at the University of California, Berkeley, looked at the mechanisms that let us follow a crowd in this way. They showed people a set of four faces, each looking in a slightly different direction. Then the researchers asked people to indicate where the whole group was looking (the observers had to swivel the eyes on a face on a computer screen to match the direction of the group).

Because we combine head and eye direction in calculating a gaze, the participants couldn't tell where each face was looking by tracking either the eyes or the head alone; they had to combine the two. The subjects saw the faces for less than a quarter of a second. That's much too short a time to look at each face individually, one by one.

It sounds impossibly hard. If you try the experiment, you can barely be sure of what you saw at all. But in fact, people were amazingly accurate. Somehow, in that split-second, they put all the faces together and worked out the average direction where the whole group was looking.

In other studies, Dr. Whitney has shown that people can swiftly calculate how happy or sad a crowd is in much the same way.

Other social animals have dedicated brain mechanisms for coordinating their action - that's what's behind the graceful rhythms of a flock of birds or a school of fish.

Summary

Mirroring someone's body language makes them feel accepted and creates a bond and is a phenomenon that occurs naturally between friends and people of equal status. Conversely, we make a point of not mirroring those we don't like or strangers, such as those riding with us in a lift or standing in the queue at the cinema.

Mirroring the other person's body language and speech patterns is one of the most powerful ways to build rapport quickly. In a new meeting with someone, mirror his seating position, posture, body angle, gestures, expressions and tone of voice. Before long, they'll start to feel that there's something about you they like - they'll describe you as 'easy to be with'. This is because they see themselves reflected in you. A word of warning, however: don't do it too early in a new encounter as many people have become aware of mirroring strategies. When someone takes a position you have one of three choices - ignore it, do something else or mirror it. Mirroring pays big dividends. But never mirror a person's negative signals.

westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/...

#smalltowninertia Tilney1, writing poetry at home 2016

Writing has always been a huge part of Tilney1′s coping mechanism for dealing with the effects of his Schizophrenia, the resulting isolation and the side effects of medication.

Evolving his writing from journals filled with unedited streams of consciousness, to the self control required for poetry has been of huge effort but great reward.

Full photo essay stories with Tilney1 : smalltowninertia.co.uk/tag/tilney1

Ramadan and Eid al-Fitr

The month of fasting

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. Islam uses a lunar calendar—that is, each month begins with the sighting of the new moon. Because the lunar calendar is about 11 days shorter than the solar calendar used elsewhere, Islamic holidays "move" each year. In 2015, Ramadan begins at sundown on June 18th.

For more than a billion Muslims around the world—including some 8 million in North America—Ramadan is a "month of blessing" marked by prayer, fasting, and charity. Ramadan focuses on self-sacrifice and devotion to Allah (God).

Why this Month?

Muslims believe that during the month of Ramadan, Allah revealed the first verses of the Qur'an, the holy book of Islam. Around 610 A.D., a caravan trader named Muhammad took to wandering the desert near Mecca (in today's Saudi Arabia) while thinking about his faith. One night a voice called to him from the night sky. It was the angel Gabriel, who told Muhammad he had been chosen to receive the word of Allah. In the days that followed, Muhammad found himself speaking the verses that would be transcribed as the Qur'an.

At many mosques during Ramadan, about one thirtieth of the Qur'an is recited each night in prayers known as tarawih. In this way, by the end of the month the complete scripture will have been recited.

Fasting

Muslims practice sawm, or fasting, for the entire month of Ramadan. This means that they may eat or drink nothing, including water, while the sun shines. Fasting is one of the Five Pillars (duties) of Islam. As with other Islamic duties, all able Muslims take part in sawm from about age twelve.

During Ramadan in the Muslim world, most restaurants are closed during the daylight hours. Families get up early for suhoor, a meal eaten before the sun rises. After the sun sets, the fast is broken with a meal known as iftar. Iftar usually begins with dates and sweet drinks that provide a quick energy boost.

Fasting serves many purposes. While they are hungry and thirsty, Muslims are reminded of the suffering of the poor. Fasting is also an opportunity to practice self-control and to cleanse the body and mind. And in this most sacred month, fasting helps Muslims feel the peace that comes from spiritual devotion as well as kinship with fellow believers.

Eid al-Fitr

Ramadan ends with the festival of Eid al-Fitr, which in 2015 occurs on July 17. Literally the "Festival of Breaking the Fast," Eid al-Fitr is one of the two most important Islamic celebrations (the other occurs after the Hajj, or pilgrimage to Mecca). At Eid al-Fitr people dress in their finest clothes, adorn their homes with lights and decorations, give treats to children, and enjoy visits with friends and family.

A sense of generosity and gratitude colors these festivities. Although charity and good deeds are always important in Islam, they have special significance at the end of Ramadan. As the month draws to a close, Muslims are obligated to share their blessings by feeding the poor and making contributions to mosques.

Source : www.infoplease.com/spot/ramadan1.html

Kindness is the characteristic that led God to provide salvation for us.

"But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit" Titus 3:4-5

In His kindness, God gives us green pastures, quiet waters, and the restoration of our souls when we're weary.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake." Psalm 23:2-3

When we exhibit the kindness of God, we are tender, benevolent, and useful to others. Every action, every word will have the flavor of grace in it as we reflect our Lord Jesus Christ. To maintain this attitude toward those we love is hard enough. To express kindness toward those who are against us requires the work of God.

"12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." Colossians 3:12-13

That is why kindness is a fruit of the Spirit.

Goodness is virtue and holiness in action. As a fruit, that is, a beneficial result, of the Spirit of God indwelling the saved person, their life is characterized by deeds motivated by righteousness and a desire to be a blessing. It's a moral characteristic of a Spirit-filled person.

As others see our good works, they will praise our Father in heaven!

"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16

This Thanksgiving we can thank God for His gifts of kindness and goodness to us through Christ Jesus!

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

__________________________

A year of the shows and performers of the Bijou Planks Theater.

Driving Pretty and the Inevitable

Sunday...what a day. Where to start?

Have you ever woken up, tired, in a hotel room with a couple of hours until checkout and you have to get your makeup on and get your day going, only to find maybe a small item did not make its way into your bag or maybe the 8 hours of sleep seemed to have been 6 hours less than needed? Oh and possibly the worst lighting in a hotel room ever. Well that was how my Sunday kicked off.

I travelled to Edmonton which is 6 hours from where I live to do some shopping and just to get out of my city and go for a drive. I did what I thought was a good job packing my things, I mean I was only going for one day but it was most interesting to see how forgetting my eyeliner seemed to have set me off in a slight mood. The makeup job with the terrible lighting coupled with no eye liner just had me "off" basically all day long.

But, too late now...off I go.

I had a fantastic brunch. I was so hungry and I did not have Noras' diet self control, I had he most wonderful chicken and french toast. Then it was onto the main purpose of the trip, returning an item that I had ordered, twice, online only to have it be the wrong size both times. Once that was corrected I headed off to shop.

Parking took some time but I eventually found a spot and stated to walk to where the shops were. A couple of hours in and out of the stores. Several dresses were tried on and a couple of purchases were made and three new cds so everything was covered.

Time to head home. I basically knew where I was going to leave the city. I needed gas at some point and I needed some food. Well, I kinda went 0for3 and ended up not where I wanted to be but at least I found a place for food and knew where I needed to go on the freeway to head for home.

And here comes the Inevitable.

I stopped carrying a guy emergency bag years ago when I go out. It just seemed not needed anymore. Plus what is the worst that could happen? Today the fear that some have, the fear that keeps you at home and not exploring the world....RADAR. I didn't see it coming. I was concentrating so much on finding the correct exit ramp that I missed the speed limit change and I rolled through apparently well over the limit. Now in my defence, I was trying to find where to go and I was just staying up with the two cars in front of me. Funny that they rolled through the radar trap and it was me, at the back that was pulled over.

Well, as soon as I was waved over, I just said to myself "it was going to happen eventually" and so I rolled down the window and smiled. I was told how fast I was going, asked for my license and registration. As I handed him the license I politely asked for future reference where the speed changed and I was told. I mentioned that I was concentrating on finding the exit home and just didn't see it. Then the comedy of me digging out my registration began, I guess my glove compartment was full of "stuff".

So off he goes to write me up. When he returns he had given me a break and did not cite me for the full amount over the speed limit. I said thank you and headed off.

Moral of the story...go out, enjoy yourself, head up, eyes forward, smile and KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING :)

I survived! No tears, no freak out, no meltdown. Yes I drove a bit slower on the way home.

It was a long day but I had a great great time. It shall happen again. Well not the ticket, the going out...well there might be a ticket...

Un'altra cosa che ho perso -

Un bel brano degli articolo 31

Sei un'altra cosa che ho perso, che mi è scivolata, che mi è caduta io c'ho provato ma non ti ho tenuta, vabbè pazienza credimi posso farne senza sei già un ricordo in dissolvenza e non fai differenza con tutto quello che ho perso senza rendermene conto come ogni volta che perdo un tramonto il giorno dopo affronto lo stesso, magari piove come adesso e ho perso l'ombrello ed il cappello ma il bello è quello, è il duello che ogni minuto ho fatto con la vita e quando la sorte mi si è accanita contro e pronto dovevo trovare veloce una via d'uscita procurandomi qualche ferite che non si chiude e ancora brucia, ma fa niente è solo un'altra cosa persa o qualche volta un'altra cosa data e dopo tolta all'improvviso, senza preavviso, che rende inferno ciò che era paradiso.

RIT.

Ore passate a misurare dolore, dolore di testa, dolore di occhi, dolore di cuore dolore d'anima, di sangue, di ossa ma ciò non vuol dire che non possa darmi una scossa in fondo è solo una scommessa che ho perduto una promessa a cui ho creduto e che non hai mantenuto già, basta non perdere la

dignità almeno curandola un po' con un bicchiere pieno come le tue frasi, adesso tutte perse come un mazzo di chiavi tu che cercavi, parole per farmi capire che eri pulita ma per finire poi sei riuscita, a perderle come 100 Lire e adesso credimi non ne voglio più sentire voglio guarire, guardando l'altra faccia di te che ho scoperto pensandoti solo come a una cosa che ho perso.

RIT.

Ho perso treni e aerei più d'una volta il portafoglio ho perso indirizzi, soldi ma mai l'orgoglio il che è una sbaglio se mi fa perdere l'autocontrollo però non mollo c'ho fatto il callo e resta in ballo è un'altra cosa uscita dalla mia vita che presto o tardi verrà sostituita, in un futuro dove tu sarai passato remoto cancellato, dimenticato, sarai una foto buttata sul fondo di un cassetto chiuso coperta da qualche maglia che non uso e disilluso, ci proverò ad odiare se non ci riuscirò a mio malgrado dovrò amare, ma mai come cura per un vuoto da colmare e non mi scrivere non mi chiamare, non mi pensare perché da oggi un'altra cosa cerco e sono certo sarà diverso, da quella cosa che ho perso. RIT.

Another thing I lost -

A beautiful song of the band Articolo31

Do something else that I missed, I slipped, I fell I tried but I've got I kept, oh well I can believe it without patience you are already a fading memory, and you do not discriminate with everything I lost without realizing how every time I lose a sunset on the day after I face the same, maybe it's raining now and I'm like an umbrella and hat, but the good thing is that, it's the duel that every minute I have done with their lives and when the fate I was furious and ready against I had to find a faster way of sorting out some wounds that will not close and still burning, but does nothing is just another thing lost or sometimes something else and then removed to date 'Suddenly, without warning, makes hell what it was paradise.

RIT.

Hours spent measuring pain, headache, eye pain, heart pain, pain of soul, blood, bones, but that does not mean that it can not give me a shock it is only a bet that I lost a promise to I believe and you have not already retained, you just do not lose

tending at least a little dignity 'with a full glass as your sentences, now all lost like a bunch of keys you were looking for words to make me understand that you were perfect but you managed to end up, how to lose 100 Pounds and do not believe me now I want to hear I want to heal, watching the other side of you that I discovered just thinking of you as a thing that I missed.

RIT.

I missed trains and planes more than once I lost my wallet addresses, money but never the pride which is a mistake if it makes me lose self-control, however, did not let go I've got used to it and remains in a dance ' else out of my life that sooner or later will be replaced in a future where you will be remote past erased, forgotten, a photo will be thrown on the bottom of a locked drawer covered by some mesh that does not use and disillusioned, I'll try to hate if we do not succeed in spite of myself I will love, but never as a cure for a void to be filled and I do not write do not call me, I think, because now I try something else and I am sure it will be different from the one thing that I lost. RIT.

And now for something completely different…

So, it feels like ages since I did a selfie. I think that is because the last one was in Florida, and even though parts of that feel like yesterday, parts of it feel like a really long time ago. Possibly too, because the weather here is so cold now, looking at myself in vest tops and cotton skirts seems crazy :).

So, this image came about for a number of reasons. I tidied my room :) Yes, I know that seems a little understated, but believe me it is a task- when I plan to make a start I find a million and one things to do and both dogs either take up residence *in* the room, or sit at the door moaning.

One of the things I found when I tidied up, were 2 net curtains still in their packaging from Ikea and for ages I could not think why I got them. I remembered later, they were about £5 and I had an idea to make a petticoat with the net.

At the time though, when I was still in confusement (it is a word) I planned to use it this weekend in a selfie.

I have always been a Night Owl. That is why Thorin calls me Owl. I like the stillness of the night, though I also know the isolation of the night. Every now and again I go through bouts of what I call ‘Sporadic Insomina’. Its never the classic ‘lying in bed wide awake staring at the ceiling’, possibly because in a lot of cases, people with insomnia have a partner to consider. For me, it’s about just not going to bed. Leaving it so late to think about going to bed, that by the time I get there its REALLY late. What I find these days, is this behaviour can’t work like this for much longer. I have too many other responsibilities now to live like this and I need to change the game plan. Self-control, self-discipline and sensibility HAVE to kick in now. An audit on the accountability of my time is long overdue...

On another note, I have been chatting with a Lovely recently. He is also a photographer, and in a lot of ways I know he helped inspire me to come up with this image. What a huge compliment that he has invested time enough to advise me I feel. But I like it, works both ways I think- inspiration for me at least is never a one way track, however you inspire another, they also give right back...breaks you out of your patterns and opens up possibility. I think I can feel another collaboration coming on ;)

SOOC- I made the schoolgirl error (probably of not shooting enough and being out of the habit) of not switching back to RAW from Jpgeg fine. Luckily for me, I was happy with the image enough to upload as is.

Throughout this project, I have been conscious that I haven't yet done a black and white selfie, (we will see when that happens). Not only did I make the RAW error, I also left my camera profile into a 'Standard' setting, it meant the colours are totally muted (for my usual tastes). I think it totally fits the image/concept though.