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This is how crazy a selfie stick looks in public. (yes, those guys behind me walked right by when I was snapping shots.) 😂
Please disregard the wrinkles. It’s just me and my cup is half full…thanks to two pushup pads 😂. ☮️💜
Surprise Networking
Last night while dressed in my “andro+” work outfit, I connected with a globe trotting photographer. I was out at a late hour production shoot for a blues band music video. My new acquaintance quizzed me about audio and hired me on the spot to help his friend shoot a large scale music video for Saturday! I dearly want to consider this as my first gig hired as Stephanie, but I was not 100% fully transformed.
This is what I was wearing, sans the make up and earrings. That is my own thinning hair under the hat. What you can’t see is that I was dressed way over the androgynous scale with black leggings and I kept that jacket on to cover my small girls. He kept saying, why don’t you take your coat off, relax, and have a drink with me! I melted and countered with buying him a drink while begrudgingly keeping my jacket on to hide my bra. Clearly my weird voice and peculiar body shape didn’t detour him.
I remained professional as we exchanged Facebook business sites. We laughed at the sadness of today’s required “safe character” validation. His talent and photos on his portfolio website literally took my breathe away. All legit and watermarked with is name. I tried not to “fan-girl” too hard, but damn! (As I type this, I still can’t believe it. No matter what you want, you gotta put yourself out there and play to win!)
The shoot went great. After 11pm the club lit up with beautiful young people. Perfect to make any band look fab.
It was like every girl in the club called each other and said, “let’s wear boots, a short skirt, cute top, scarf, and a tailored coat.” Evidentially their lack of creativity didn’t fail because their amorous tactics were in full bloom. Every time I looked around the room it seemed like two or more couples were practicing big-screen kissing scenes. Yes, I was jealous as hell so I decided to take some more pictures for my OKC site this morning!
I’ll stop here and finish the story later at stillverytrans.com blog site.
Always submitted with love,
Steph 💜☮️😷
Future freelance working girl? I sure hope so! I took this picture in my client’s logo’d shirt just before wiping off the make up. There are times our teams are contracted as crew on behalf of partnering production companies.
In May I am going to start leaking pictures like this to key client liaisons before I go full time. So far my closest allies seem fine but oddly some of the women event planners are still asking a lot of questions. One friend keeps asking about my thoughts on losing male privilege. My prayer is our client partners will see their shirt in the picture and acknowledge I am the same dedicated person they have always known. The show must go on; RIGHT?!
It has been almost three weeks without makeup due to crazy work schedules. I can’t wait to catch up with everyone here.
Tonight is the first time I am out doing real camera work as Steph. For some reason this hair color feels less conspicuous than being a blonde.
Miami, here I come to bask in the splendor of one of your many conference centers 24/7, never to see the light of day. Production Life. ☮️💜
17 months on hormones now. Out trying some transition career clothing ideas and of course skirts will be in my future. Regretfully work outfits will be similar to my event producer contemporaries who wear jackets, pants, and flats due to the long days and demanding hours. ☮️💜
Found this from last year. At the time I didn’t like how the light shared an aging complexion. Fast forward about a year later, and I have mellowed a bit. Turns out trans girls can age too!
Today’s show was cancelled, so I am out of town with a day off!!! My apologies in advance for this super girly day. The morning started with a daily dose of hormones, putting on a favorite dress, and playing with iPhone 13’s studio portrait mode.
“Working hard to lose the man card!’ It’s a chick thing and yes, I remain, stillverytrans.com 💜☮️
I can’t believe I didn’t buy this at Macy’s earlier this week. It was $89 and they were offering 15% off using a store card. In my defense I texted this picture to a cis workout friend who said “it looks fab but I need to focus on my summer goal sizes.” The irony is R is an amazing friend but she hates that Is am transitioning. Our children have grown up together and I was her son’s Eagle Scout coach. (crazy huh?). 1. She didn’t scold me for sending the picture and she liked the dress 😊 2. When her super religious husband learns about me he is going to lose his mind. 😠
I put make up on this morning and took some pictures in a pretty dress. This is casual time back at home before getting ready for work. (Well a Zoom presentation;) ☮️❤️😷
Please choose a set for tonight’s coming out to the band about my transition. Group A or Group B? Pick numbers if needed. They all kind of know, but I have not formally shared my full intention. Thank you so much for the help! ☮️💜
This is my first time wearing make up in almost two months. The return of in-person conferences and live events has created a crazy work travel demand with three weeks on and 2-3 days off. (When little rest is combined with estradiol and bad food choices, it is a given I am sporting more than a few added pounds.) Miss everyone here. ☮️💜
I love 💕 you all so much, I just want to get closer! After a week of not hugging friends or clients I’m praying we can all share a big virtual hug!!! Thank you to everyone for leaving such sweet comments. Your words help me get through the day more than you may ever know. ☮️💜
Last week was amazing!
As the calendar advances, I am gratefully aware of how my feminized body is becoming one with my spirit. From the constant lilt of perfume on my wrist to the adoring thoughts of New Years Eve kissing, and sweet Valentine’s wishes, I am finally approaching the reality of sharing myself as a woman. I have never been more open to intimately connecting with other souls socially or romantically in my life.
A beautiful something happens when I don’t see a reflection of my old self in a mirror, on my phone, or social media. It’s a new will to live. I am finally claiming my first real chance to live life instead looking for a corner to hide! With every soft curvy change, I am choosing health first and looking forward to savoring every day as a woman.
For my entire life I have focused on the curse of attainment to provide a divisive solace to gender dysphoria. Even though I excelled in most stations and even overcame living alone at 15 years old, I still systematically let myself down. So it took half a lifetime to emancipate in 2012....That’s ok!!! Logically and emotionally I have accepted these facts as I moved the needle to true north on October 12th, the day my associate and I survived a four car pile up.
Life has never been easy for me, always living in fear, nervously hiding my true self, without sharing a full authentic expression. Moving forward as a transgender woman I most likely will be subject to social, economic, and medical cruelty. That’s NOT ok. As long as stay healthy I’ll fight but at least I won’t be hiding any more.
I have an idea to help us trans folk feel more comfortable in public. We should start using selfie sticks to tighten our edge! ☮️💜
I wish I could show you how much I look like my college girlfriend “M” with glasses. (After transition I hope she will allow me to share a side by side comparison.) All of my serious girlfriends knew about about me beginning in high school and most were not keen on my natural proclivities except for M. We actually made a pact that I would transition if I didn’t marry before turning thirty. Of course I married before then and carelessly promised my wife I would not transition. (My 2012 emancipation has not been easy for her or our family)
Even crazier than that was the fact M’s mother knew about me and on occasion she would buy a few things for me. Nothing too frilly or girly, just the basic shorts, T’s, tights, and jeans. M and I even spent long private girlfriend retreats on their boat, with her mom’s blessing, and a few nights while on holiday. So many amazing memories all came to a stop when M became engaged. Today we are shy Facebook acquaintances. I am looking forward to her knowing about me later this year. It’s all part of the journey.
Taking a forgiving B&W dressing room breather. Had a hard time with “holiday sizing” today. Punting for now and focusing on a nice 20 month HRT update and a gorgeous New Years Eve dress for 2020!!!
Had to change clothes yesterday morning to help our son with his church gig. Haven’t worked in a house of worship since 2020. I can swap the clothes and wipe off the make up but thankfully the boobs won’t go away!
At this point in transition it feels completely awkward leaving my purse in the car and not wearing even a touch of eye make up. This is ALMOST Trans. 💜☮️
Just finished work and let my thin hair down. I’m freezing, testing a new camera without any make up, and tossing penny wishes in the fountain. ☮️💜
Smile compliments of Lysol. That’s right. I found a can hiding in a lower shelf. What a great day! 😷❤️☮️
Another from the auburn business girl pictures. In hindsight I should have tried a few with glasses.
Today’s risky adventure found me chasing more dreams and a healthy dose of Vitamin D! It was a beautiful morning and before I knew it I was in front of one of the wedding l venues our band plays. This is less than fifteen minutes from home and I totally damned the camera torpedoes. The director knows me well and my car; sans my true self. If they see something on the camera they don’t like they can certainly ask law enforcement to run my tag. Let’s see if anything happens and let the games begin! 💜☮️
From working out to working it all out; I’m up for the challenge. I have lost 50lbs now since January 1st after learning how to balance the estrogen load that is thankfully augmenting my mind, body, and spirit. I stopped by one of my favorite golf courses today in this dress and found a nice people watching bench. It was a beautiful breezy day and so much fun spying on the guys check in and out of the club at the bag drop. (I took some pics) I didn’t see anyone I knew but I seriously doubt they would recognize me at a distance. Maybe after a nice hug and kiss they would figure it out. 😘 ChaChaChanges!!! ☮️💜
Working the night lights under some crystal trees after a long 5-day show. I mean, what would Flickr be without trans girls and selfie-sticks? ☮️💜
Today’s risky adventure begins at Office Depot printing and cutting out 30 dual sided business cards for prospecting today. I am going to see how many LGBT businesses I can meet in two hours before work this afternoon.
Natural freckled complexion without face make up. Just a little mascara and brow pencil left after another shiny three mile walk. Girl Powered! 🏃♀️💜☮️
When a girl gets down, it’s easy to snap back with a dose of lipstick and a quick shot of retail therapy!
Happy Sunday everyone!
I only passed out seven business cards as Stephanie last week and twenty two as my andro-self. “Andro” is on the boards with one big fish and one little fish while Stephanie has zip. I’m fine with gentle baby steps as long as they are marching forward.
This week’s production ended with an elegant Saturday night awards dinner. I was surrounded by 600+ cocktail dresses, evening gowns, and tuxedos. The attendees enjoyed a well deserved evening and I was thrilled we could help deliver some glam.
I was also grateful for a few sweet texting friends who helped me stay grounded. Jill and I agreed it is maddening not to socialize as women while a cis girlfriend shared she does not feel confident in elegant social settings. She stated she is uncomfortable with her body and lack of grace when comparing herself to other women. (she is gorgeous and maybe 25lbs overweight🤔)
Tonight’s friends helped remind me we all constantly work through private challenges. Whether cis or trans, it’s our EQ that defines most of our personal station. Does anybody else care to share?
Group Hug!
Slowly paying off some new hair for my January birthday. (I usually rotate between a nice bag or a new hair style) This was my first visit back after Covid and Lee immediately pulled this out of the back for me to try. I am very thankful for my emerging tribe.
I have some high mileage on this favorite old dress. Recently a cis friend told me I looked like an old schoolmarm. Female compliment received! 😊
This pile up of Shuri was done by Nara Tairov
what to say about this...I mean apart from "WOW THIS IS ME?!!!!!" (well my Avatar :3) and "THANKYOU NARA !!!!!!!!!" \(*^_^*)/ I was so looking forward to this o(^^o)(o^^)o and you exceeded all my expectations Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ
when i did the basepicture to this one, a specific story spotanously popped up in my mind, which fits much better now that she looks so much more expressive and realistic:
In the future there are robots who develop a personality over time. Those robots are the remains of a time when humans were still the dominant lifeform. (They were nearly wiped out in a series of battles refered to as the organic wars and are about to become extinct now. )
As soon as an independed personality is confirmed, those units are set free and become rightful citizens of the Megacities and part of the Android society.
They work, they dream and go about their everyday life just like humans used to, decades ago, only more peaceful and enviromentally aware.
When you wake up to a destroyed world you tend to be more carefull with what you have.
She would have been a custommodel someone ordered to use as background singer in a modern band before she woke up to herself and joined the resistance movement. The last war is long over and she works as semipopular freelance singer now and parttime in a local Wakingcenter to help others like her, to grow accustomed to their new life.