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Komsomol (All-Union Leninist Young Communist League, b.1918) was a youth organisation controlled by the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.
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“Grandpa, why do you take such a hot bath when you have a cold?”
About fifteen minutes ago, he had come staggering out of the bathroom, swathed in a towel and his robe, moaning and uttering guttural gasps for air, as he headed for his bedroom. For the past few days, he had been hacking up a storm, expelling gross amounts of phlegm and cursing everyone who had even come close to passing on the germs to him. The sounds of him fighting for his very life could be heard downstairs and I asked mom about it. “Oh, he does this every time he gets sick. Says it makes him better faster but, I think it’s just an excuse to buy himself a small mickey of Johnnie Walker.” I wasn’t really too sure what she was talking about so, when he finally emerged – amazingly still alive – and parked himself on the couch, I bounded over beside him and asked.
“Listen, me laddie, and remember this for when you are older. The body is a funny thing. Its preference is to get along to get along. So, if a little ol’ virus decides to park itself within, it won’t really do much about it. Maybe send over a part-time witch doctor on staff to see what it’s on about and maybe offer a bit of a scolding, suggesting that it might just get on its way. If the virus refuses sound counsel though and decides to pitch a tent and stay for a while, after a bit, the ‘heavies’ will be sent on over and give it a bit of working over. You know, a kick up the backside, or a stomping real good. Viruses are stoopid though and sometimes just downright bullheaded. In that case… and listen to me, my son, this is important (no need for him to say that as I was rapt anyways, always loving to listen to his banter and stories)… fever is the key!” He laughed like as if the Secret of Chanarra had just been revealed. “The body acts on instinct and function. If you raise its temperature to the critical level, it reacts to survive. So, I soak in a feverously hot bath, bringing things to the boiling point, kicking it up an extra notch with a steaming hot toddy, I might add. Now, the body is not aware of those little voices happening in the top of your head. It doesn’t hear the snickering, the ‘ha ha, we tricks it with a hot bath’, the banter of another successful caper. It thinks one thing: fever! Out comes the full armada, complete with brass knuckles and howitzers and kapow! Bang! Smash! Oh dear, it is an ugly scene! Suffice to say, that virus hightails it out of town faster than you can say binggle-bottom.”
I laughed at that, not knowing what it meant but, it sounded funny. “So, that is why you take the hot bath?”
“Yes, that and I don’t own a sauna.”
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By hannelore roels
It’s funny how we wear labels. I never take this off it’s my medic alert bracelet and it’s important. I label myself with the important things about me. Labels but they don’t define me