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While walking the deserted streets of a desolate Sohra, very close to the Welsh Presbyterian Church, Nongsawlia, the setting was as if it was Darkness at Noon with due apologies to Arthur Koestler.
A Tea Stall with nothing much inside, a female Khasi / Garo vendor ambling to the tinny kiosk in the patchy light.
Sohra for many people has been a depressing place as it rains through out the year and that too in copious quantities.
In India, whichever part it be, rains are a welcome sign and not much pathos is associated with it. A little bit of irritation because of the disturbance in the daily routine but certainly not the depression that the Europeans fall into when there is no sun.
Sohra is the local name for Cherrapunjee which for centuries has been the place with the highest rainfall in the world. About 12089 mm of it.
_DSC2374 nef bnw less contrast
Took this image back to its original format, as I felt like it illustrated the feel better. The weight hovering over, flattening you. I liked the angles of the pose in the last one, but the quasi rigor mortis aesthetic was was more true to the theme.
Strobist info: Two flashes shot through diffusers, CR gelled CTO (color shift in post) and CL, angled about 30 degrees behind my head and feet. Radio trigger.
After witnessing Aiden and Charlotte together on the street, Vincent went straight home. He locked himself in his flat with the lights off, sat on his bed, and immediately sank into a depression. When Damien came knocking fifteen minutes later Vincent simply rolled over on his side and pretended not to be home.
The entire next day was a repeat of the evening before. He spent his day sitting on his bed while staring at the wall. No books. No music. No herb. No tea. Nothing. He wasn't even hungry. And as the day shifted towards evening, his depression was layered on with a deep, growing brood. Even the weather seemed to reflect his mood with dark skies, heavy rain, and loud thunder that had intensified as the day dragged on.
Earlier in the day, there had been a knock at the door. He'd ignored it and thankfully whoever it was got the message and left shortly afterwards. He was not ready to face anyone yet.
The following day, Sunday, was meant to be a special and important one. With his uncle's long-awaited return there was going to be a huge family feast in celebration! Vincent had been looking forward to tonight very much! But even that felt ruined for him now. Yet, he felt obligated to attend. Besides, he'd not eaten in nearly two days. Perhaps the lure of Mrs. Faris' incredible cooking would encourage his hunger.
So, after dragging ass all morning, Vincent finally bathed and started getting himself ready for a celebratory evening with his family. He still did not feel ready to be in anyone's company. He was growing more and more uncertain about his decision to attend by the minute. Besides, what if Charlotte had invited Aiden? He didn't think he could handle that. BUT WHY?!
And then the memory came of the night when Aiden had walked Vincent home from the tavern. Aiden had smiled so sweetly just for him all because Vincent thought it was cute that he had dimples at the corner of his mouth. Then another memory came of Aiden as he grinned so hugely and cheered Leon's Claw on as the ship climbed the skies during their moonlit flight together. He liked it when Aiden was happy. That's how he should always be.
'So, you DO know how to laugh after all! Don't worry, Captain, I won't tell anyone.'
Aiden had said that after he'd made Vincent laugh for the first time in three years! And how many times since then? Aiden always managed to get him to smile and laugh so easily! Aiden made him feel safe to come out of his shell. He'd always been there for Vincent since the very beginning. Memories began to play back as he remembered all those wonderful times he'd shared together with Aiden.
The memories were still playing in his mind a minute later as Vincent sat on the edge of his bed and dragged over his boots. He was moving slowly and had a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he began to pull the first one on. He was just thinking about how Aiden looked so perfect as he stood there in the fading sunlight; how his hand extended out to Vincent and spoke such beautiful words that never failed to make his heart flutter with joy whenever he thought about it: "Fly with me, Vincent."
"Oh shit..."
Vincent's head snapped up with wide eyes. He dropped his boot to the floor with a loud thunk. He didn't even care he'd dropped it on his foot! All that he cared about...all he could think about...was Aiden.
A soft chuckle escaped him as a touch of giddiness bubbled up inside of him. He began to realize that maybe he HAD started growing feelings for Aiden after all. Was...was this really happening?! And as he sat there, it began to sink in that yes, this was really a thing! Yet, seconds later that giddy, elated feeling came crashing down around him as in its place a deep feeling of dread began to fill him. He began to rub his face anxiously.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit."
How did this happen?! Hell, WHEN did this happen?! What was he supposed to do?! The last thing he fucking wanted was this! He'd gone and allowed himself to fall in love once before and look where that got him: a broken heart, an empty house, and years of crippling depression! He didn't want to risk falling in love again!
What if he wasn't able to work through these feelings after all? What if, after the ball, Aiden decided to stay here to be with Charlotte? Not only would he be losing someone he apparently had feelings for but that also meant he would lose his best engineer! And what if Damien found out? Something told him Damien wouldn't be so receptive to the idea of Aiden potentially becoming such an important figure in Vincent's life...
In the end, Vincent gathered up what little courage he had left and finished pulling on his boots and set off for the Dubois Manor. By now, he desperately did not want to go tonight, but he respected and loved his uncle too much to miss such an important occasion. And while Vincent was upset with the situation with his cousin, he did love Charlotte very much. Deep down, he wanted her to be happy. If Aiden chose her as his intended then what right did he have to come between their happiness?
Upon his arrival at his family's home, Vincent was relieved to discover that Aiden was not going to be making an appearance at tonight's gathering after all. With that weight off his shoulders, Vincent was able to put on a more genuine smile and welcome his uncle home in celebration. He tried his best to stay in the moment and enjoy this time with his family. He avoided spending too much time around Charlotte, though he'd managed to give her a hug and smile pleasantly upon greeting her as if nothing were bothering him.
Vincent stayed the night in his old bedroom. But instead of sleeping, he found himself staring up at the ceiling for hours upon hours. What was he going to do? How was he going to handle this? Unfortunately, the answers did not come to him.
After the Sun rose the following morning, Vincent, feeling grumpy from not getting any sleep, headed downstairs for a quick breakfast of leftovers from last night's dinner. Meanwhile the kitchen staff began to make breakfast for the rest of the family who were mostly not yet awake but would be soon.
An hour later, upon Vincent's departure he was walking the hallway towards the entrance hall while the rest of the family began to gather for breakfast. That's when he overheard his aunt coming down the adjacent hallway with the family butler, Mr. Faris.
"...will surely be very busy the next couple of days. Speaking of which, we will be having company this afternoon. Mr. Anderson will be coming back over to practice with Charlotte again. I am certain he will be staying for dinner."
"Very good, Ma'am."
"Mm, there is still so much to do before we- Oh, Vincent!"
Vincent didn't have a chance to duck and circle back before his aunt and Mr. Faris came around the corner. Aunt Jennifer smiled before she turned and said, "Thank you, Mr. Faris. That will be all for now." And once they were alone she turned to look up at her nephew and straightened his tie with a satisfied smile before smoothing it out for him.
"You know we're about to have breakfast, yes? Are you sure you don't want a bite to eat before you go?"
"No, thank you. I've already eaten."
"Hm. Your friend will be coming by this afternoon."
"So I've heard."
"Will you be joining him?"
"Not tonight, Auntie. I already have plans."
"Hm...Are you well? You know you can always talk to me, right?"
"Of course. But I'm fine. Everything's fine. I promise."
While he gazed back at her with what he thought was a convincing smile she gazed right back up at him with a look that showed that she, the woman who had raised him as her own son, knew he wasn't quite telling the whole truth. He was so sure she was going to call him out on his bullshit! But instead, she simply patted his chest in a motherly sort of way and nodded.
"Very well, then. I will see you on Wednesday. I love you."
"I love you, too. I'll see you then."
Vincent kissed her forehead then made his departure straight back to his flat. He had two days until the masquerade. Two days to get his shit together. Two days until Aiden and Charlotte would be going to the ball together...
Upon his arrival home Vincent was surprised to discover a piece of paper folded up and wedged into the crack in his door. He blinked and took the paper out before letting himself inside and opening the folded letter to see what was written inside:
Vincent,
I came by yesterday but we seem to keep missing each other! It feels like a month since I last saw you. I am eager to see you again. I hope you are well. Let me know when you want to meet before the ball.
Yours truly,
Aiden
Aiden had come to see him? Maybe he had been the mysterious knocker! This note wasn't here yesterday evening so he must have come back again while Vincent was out. They did seem to keep missing each other, didn't they? But perhaps that was for the best. But unable to help himself, Vincent smiled softly as he read over Aiden's scribbled note once again.
'It feels like a month since I last saw you. I am eager to see you again.'
Was Aiden missing him too? He needed to respond to this and let Aiden know he'd be over Wednesday to help him get ready for the masquerade. But until then he had a lot to think about...
---
NEXT PART: (Soon to come!)
To select another chapter (or even start from the beginning), here's the album link:
www.flickr.com/photos/153660805@N05/albums/72157717075565127
***Please note this is a BOY LOVE (LGBTQ+) series. It is a slow burn and is rated YOUNG ADULT!***
Special thank you to my husband Vin for collaborating with me on this series and co-starring as The Captain!
He also made the pose so EXTRA thank you....and for also noticing that I originally had Vincent putting on the wrong shoe. X'D
DISCORD SERVER: That's right! The Captain and the Engineer has a Discord Server! If you would like to join and chat with other crewmates and see what's new and happening before it gets posted to Flickr, click the link!
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Hurricane Isaac has not been devastating, but lots of rain... Now it's Cuba's turn. At least I learned the expression "tropical depression" - that's when the Caribbean reminds me more of home than I like it to. Update: In spite of a milder version of the hurricane this time, 8 people has been reported to have died in Haiti due to drowning or being hit by falling trees and walls, a tragedy and a reminder what may happen when the big hurricane hits this vulnerable society.
An article from today's Helsingin Sanomat (the main newspaper in Finland):
LED lights in the ears may stop depression
Depression may be stopped in the future with strong LED light in people's ears, reports the newspaper Kaleva.
The Oulu-based company Valkee has developed a device, which provides light through the ear channels directly to the areas of brain that respond to light.
"In just four weeks practially all winter depression sufferers with severe depression and anxiety symptoms were fully cured", the CEO of the company says.
Light can be shined to the brain from the ear channel where the bones are very thin.
Professor Timo Takala characterises the method "at least revolutionary".
"All symptoms disappeared in a short period of time", Takala confirms the results from the test group.
"Light has direct biological effect and we now have clear proof of this."
The device has been patented in 2006. It should be available online and through pharmacies in early February.
I could not make the lamp stay in my ear, so I stuck it in my mouth. I am not sure if I feel better, but I will give reports on my progress.
Explore #412 on Thursday, January 14, 2010. Thank you all.
Depression is a complicated condition that arises and maintains itself in a way that's is distinct to each person's history, biology, thinking patterns, behavior, relationships and environment. In order to conquer it in a way that is sustainable each of those relevant domains may need to be addressed. This can take time and countless barriers exist. It's not as simple as just doing one thing and you'll feel better. We can't use ourselves as a frame of reference to understand someone else. What we can do is shut off our judgment makers and seek to understand. That sets the stage for any type of helping. Have a favorite theory? Put in on the shelf. You'll need more than one and that may not be the one. What's in the box? That's a great question. Ask it.
Model credit: Mel S Query
Concept: Mel S Query
Piece by piece, she is fading away
A broken statue, a shadow of her former self
The loneliness and desperation gnaws away at her heavy heart
Who is she? Why is she here?
The world is such a confusing place
She tries to find her way back
But, no-one understands
She is lost...
© Swinty 2015
I realise that this is a little dark, but I think we have all been touched by depression either directly or indirectly at some point. I am feeling a little melancholy at the moment, as I know someone who's suffering from it and I really feel for them.
My dear friend Derrick Tyson has been so kind as to interview me for his magazine Sinescope.
I had these posted on flickr till my account expired, now they are all hidden, as are the stories behind them....
but follow the link above, and you'll get all the details...
One of the famous Rio Grande Southern Railroad's motor railcars at the railroad's former depot in Dolores. The Galloping Geese saved the Rio Grande Southern from bankruptcy during the Great Depression and served the railroad until it shut down in the 1950s.
Art Journal page about my depression (panic/anxiety) in mixed media (magazine cut-outs, acrylics, Sharpie markers, pen, sharpie poster paints.)
My fight with depression has left a heavy toll on my family, my few friends, my art and my psyche. Wanting to avoid every shop window or mirror in order to avoid seeing my reflection is one of the many symptoms of this disease. Learning to deal with this is another thing entirely and as such this is the start of a series which takes me out of my comfort zone and tests my wherewithal.
"I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes—
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I loved the best
Are strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below—above the vaulted sky."
Item Credits:
Contraption
Hotdog
[Vale Koer]
Stealthic
2018P52 Week 41: Mental Health Awareness
Depression is a dark place where one feels trapped. It's a helpless feeling and there seems to be no escape... or even the energy to seek an escape.
If you or a loved one is clinically depressed, you/they desperately need help to find a way out.
. . blues".
Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown (almost), alive and well in Huahin, Thailand. Playing the blues outside a public "utility", while a reggae festival was being held on the beach 25 clicks north.
The title is a song title of old "gatemouth".
I am an extremely patient person. I always have been. I have a very long fuse. I try not to take things too personally and just let things slide.
This can be a bad thing though. Sometimes there are things that do bother me a lot, but I elect to wait it out and see what happens rather than confronting it head on. These things eat away at me and cause me a great deal of stress and frustration. Eventually, that long fuse become a long, drawn-out pain that makes me a very unhappy and unpleasant person (at least, I seem that way to myself).
When I hit that bad place, I try to find something to relieve the stress. I find a way to step away from the situation and try to clear my head. Usually a long walk outside or sitting in the sun for a while does the trick. I am relaxed, relieved, and refreshed. I am back to being a nice person.
Yet, due to my non-confrontational nature, I still do nothing about whatever is bothering me. I fall back on "be patient and let things run their course". And the pattern continues. I'm working on being better about this.
Category A listed historic building constructed 1843-45 as a library block.
"The New Town is a central area of Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland. A masterpiece of city planning, it was built in stages between 1767 and around 1850, and retains much of its original neo-classical and Georgian period architecture. Its best known street is Princes Street, facing Edinburgh Castle and the Old Town across the geological depression of the former Nor Loch. Together with the Old Town, the New Town was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1995.
Edinburgh (/ˈɛdɪnbərə/; Scots: Edinburgh; Scottish Gaelic: Dùn Èideann [ˈt̪uːn ˈeːtʲən̪ˠ]) is the capital of Scotland and one of its 32 council areas. Historically part of the county of Midlothian (interchangeably Edinburghshire before 1921), it is located in Lothian on the Firth of Forth's southern shore.
Recognised as the capital of Scotland since at least the 15th century, Edinburgh is the seat of the Scottish Government, the Scottish Parliament and the supreme courts of Scotland. The city's Palace of Holyroodhouse is the official residence of the monarch in Scotland. The city has long been a centre of education, particularly in the fields of medicine, Scots law, literature, philosophy, the sciences and engineering. It is the second largest financial centre in the United Kingdom (after London) and the city's historical and cultural attractions have made it the United Kingdom's second most visited tourist destination attracting 4.9 million visits including 2.4 million from overseas in 2018.
Edinburgh is Scotland's second most populous city and the seventh most populous in the United Kingdom. The official population estimates are 488,050 (2016) for the Locality of Edinburgh (Edinburgh pre 1975 regionalisation plus Currie and Balerno), 518,500 (2018) for the City of Edinburgh, and 1,339,380 (2014) for the city region. Edinburgh lies at the heart of the Edinburgh and South East Scotland city region comprising East Lothian, Edinburgh, Fife, Midlothian, Scottish Borders and West Lothian.
The city is the annual venue of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland. It is home to national institutions such as the National Museum of Scotland, the National Library of Scotland and the Scottish National Gallery. The University of Edinburgh, founded in 1582 and now one of four in the city, is placed 20th in the QS World University Rankings for 2020. The city is also known for the Edinburgh International Festival and the Fringe, the latter being the world's largest annual international arts festival. Historic sites in Edinburgh include Edinburgh Castle, the Palace of Holyroodhouse, the churches of St. Giles, Greyfriars and the Canongate, and the extensive Georgian New Town built in the 18th/19th centuries. Edinburgh's Old Town and New Town together are listed as a UNESCO World Heritage site, which has been managed by Edinburgh World Heritage since 1999." - info from Wikipedia.
Summer 2019 I did a solo cycling tour across Europe through 12 countries over the course of 3 months. I began my adventure in Edinburgh, Scotland and finished in Florence, Italy cycling 8,816 km. During my trip I took 47,000 photos.
Now on Instagram.
Become a patron to my photography on Patreon.
The area that was to become West Palm Beach was settled in the late 1870s and 1880s by a few hundred settlers who called the vicinity "Lake Worth Country." These settlers were a diverse community from different parts of the United States and the world. They included founding families such at the Potters and the Lainharts, who would go on to become leading members of the business community in the fledgling city. The first white settlers in Palm Beach County lived around Lake Worth, then an enclosed freshwater lake, named for Colonel William Jenkins Worth, who had fought in the Second Seminole War in Florida in 1842. Most settlers engaged in the growing of tropical fruits and vegetables for shipment the north via Lake Worth and the Indian River. By 1890, the U.S. Census counted over 200 people settled along Lake Worth in the vicinity of what would become West Palm Beach. The area at this time also boasted a hotel, the "Cocoanut House", a church, and a post office. The city was platted by Henry Flagler as a community to house the servants working in the two grand hotels on the neighboring island of Palm Beach, across Lake Worth in 1893, coinciding with the arrival of the Florida East Coast railroad. Flagler paid two area settlers, Captain Porter and Louie Hillhouse, a combined sum of $45,000 for the original town site, stretching from Clear Lake to Lake Worth.
On November 5, 1894, 78 people met at the "Calaboose" (the first jail and police station located at Clematis St. and Poinsettia, now Dixie Hwy.) and passed the motion to incorporate the Town of West Palm Beach in what was then Dade County (now Miami-Dade County). This made West Palm Beach the first incorporated municipality in Dade County and in South Florida. The town council quickly addressed the building codes and the tents and shanties were replaced by brick, brick veneer, and stone buildings. The city grew steadily during the 1890s and the first two decades of the 20th century, most residents were engaged in the tourist industry and related services or winter vegetable market and tropical fruit trade. In 1909, Palm Beach County was formed by the Florida State Legislature and West Palm Beach became the county seat. In 1916, a new neo-classical courthouse was opened, which has been painstakingly restored back to its original condition, and is now used as the local history museum.
The city grew rapidly in the 1920s as part of the Florida land boom. The population of West Palm Beach quadrupled from 1920 to 1927, and all kinds of businesses and public services grew along with it. Many of the city's landmark structures and preserved neighborhoods were constructed during this period. Originally, Flagler intended for his Florida East Coast Railway to have its terminus in West Palm, but after the area experienced a deep freeze, he chose to extend the railroad to Miami instead.
The land boom was already faltering when city was devastated by the 1928 Okeechobee hurricane. The Depression years of the 1930s were a quiet time for the area, which saw slight population growth and property values lower than during the 1920s. The city only recovered with the onset of World War II, which saw the construction of Palm Beach Air Force Base, which brought thousands of military personnel to the city. The base was vital to the allied war effort, as it provided an excellent training facility and had unparalleled access to North Africa for a North American city. Also during World War II, German U-Boats sank dozens of merchant ships and oil tankers just off the coast of West Palm Beach. Nearby Palm Beach was under black out conditions to minimize night visibility to German U-boats.
The 1950s saw another boom in population, partly due to the return of many soldiers and airmen who had served in the vicinity during the war. Also, the advent of air conditioning encouraged growth, as year-round living in a tropical climate became more acceptable to northerners. West Palm Beach became the one of the nation's fastest growing metropolitan areas during the 1950s; the city's borders spread west of Military Trail and south to Lake Clarke Shores. However, many of the city's residents still lived within a narrow six-block wide strip from the south to north end. The neighborhoods were strictly segregated between White and African-American populations, a legacy that the city still struggles with today. The primary shopping district remained downtown, centered around Clematis Street.
In the 1960s, Palm Beach County's first enclosed shopping mall, the Palm Beach Mall, and an indoor arena were completed. These projects led to a brief revival for the city, but in the 1970s and 1980s crime continued to be a serious issue and suburban sprawl continued to drain resources and business away from the old downtown area. By the early 1990s there were very high vacancy rates downtown, and serious levels of urban blight.
Since the 1990s, developments such as CityPlace and the preservation and renovation of 1920s architecture in the nightlife hub of Clematis Street have seen a downtown resurgence in the entertainment and shopping district. The city has also placed emphasis on neighborhood development and revitalization, in historic districts such as Northwood, Flamingo Park, and El Cid. Some neighborhoods still struggle with blight and crime, as well as lowered property values caused by the Great Recession, which hit the region particularly hard. Since the recovery, multiple new developments have been completed. The Palm Beach Mall, located at the Interstate 95/Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard interchange became abandoned as downtown revitalized - the very mall that initiated the original abandonment of the downtown. The mall was then redeveloped into the Palm Beach Fashion Outlets in February 2014. A station for All Aboard Florida, a high-speed passenger rail service serving Miami, Fort Lauderdale, West Palm Beach, and Orlando, is under construction as of July 2015.
Credit for the data above is given to the following website: