Herr K. betritt zögernd mit mattem Gang das Sprechzimmer. Seine Mimik ist ernst, von der Umgebung unberührt. Stockend und mühsam berichtet er: Er fühle sich stimmungsmäßig leer, wie versteinert, er empfinde nichts mehr, nicht einmal mehr Traurigkeit. Es fehle ihm Kraft und Antrieb, auch nur das Nötigste zu tun, obwohl er ständig dagegen anzukämpfen versuche. Obwohl er unendlich müde sei, habe er seit Wochen nicht mehr durchgeschlafen, die frühen Morgenstunden brächten die schlimmsten, grauenvollsten Stunden seines Lebens mit sich: Erwachend aus qualvollen Angstträumen beschleiche ihn entsetzliche Furcht vor dem langen, langen Tag mit seinen unendlichen Minuten, in denen sich alles nur noch zum Schlimmeren wenden würde. Das Aufstehen, das Heben der Beine aus dem Bett, bedeute eine Qual für ihn. Obwohl er körperlich gesund sei, fühle er sich wie abgeschlagen, sei appetitlos, verspüre einen Druck über der Brust und im Kopf, die Kehle sei wie zugeschnürt. Das Denken trete auf der Stelle, er könne kaum noch Zeitung lesen, habe an nichts mehr Interesse, falle ins Grübeln über Vergangenes. Er habe das Gefühl überflüssig zu sein, er sei für seine Familie nur noch Balast. Die Besorgtheit der Angehörigen mache alles noch schlimmer, weil er sich deshalb immer mehr Schuldgefühle wegen seines Verhaltens machen müsse.

Why would you possibly be having a poor day? Snow got you down?

Look towards what you have going on later on!

When one of the blue days starts eating you alive

Am all alone and sad bored and have nothing to do

I have a headache from the minute I woke up

I know why

I didn't sleep

I only had 3 hrs of sleep

So tired

I play .. Recklessly .. creating a mess

With my nail polish

Myatt’s Fields Park

Model: Kathryn Michelle

"I was scared...the only thing I knew about Brixton was from The Clash, and they told me there were guns there." - Carroll Kirk (my big brother)

Guns of Brixton [YouTube]

--

First run on the Kelsey. Wood type + lead | www.depressionpress.org

I'm experimenting with taking my "scratch" painting that I do with a skewer and going to swirls, using a very fine pointy paintbrush. I need a better brush, one with just a bit more stiffness to it. Oh, darn. Another tool I just have to have. :)

This painting is 7" x 7" and is acrylic on cardstock. I tried to show how depression feels as described to me by a couple family members.

My friend died of depressions in 2001. When I was visiting my father's grave, I have also found his grave. I didn't know it before, because there was no funeral service. I was happy to read his name and to think of our friendship.

Olympus XA, Zuiko 35mm, f2,8, Kodak T-max 100, (50) Spur Acurol N, 20 Celsius degrees, 10 min. 30 sec.

Yellowstone National Park

They had this modern wallpaper in almost every room of their xray-institute

......I said I would come back at night

to paint at least ONE green leave on their dead trees ;-)

Depression is a complicated condition that arises and maintains itself in a way that's is distinct to each person's history, biology, thinking patterns, behavior, relationships and environment. In order to conquer it in a way that is sustainable each of those relevant domains may need to be addressed. This can take time and countless barriers exist. It's not as simple as just doing one thing and you'll feel better. We can't use ourselves as a frame of reference to understand someone else. What we can do is shut off our judgment makers and seek to understand. That sets the stage for any type of helping. Have a favorite theory? Put in on the shelf. You'll need more than one and that may not be the one. What's in the box? That's a great question. Ask it.

Model credit: Mel S Query

Concept: Mel S Query

Piece by piece, she is fading away

A broken statue, a shadow of her former self

The loneliness and desperation gnaws away at her heavy heart

Who is she? Why is she here?

The world is such a confusing place

She tries to find her way back

But, no-one understands

She is lost...

© Swinty 2015

I realise that this is a little dark, but I think we have all been touched by depression either directly or indirectly at some point. I am feeling a little melancholy at the moment, as I know someone who's suffering from it and I really feel for them.

I know someone who's been there and recovered.

My dear friend Derrick Tyson has been so kind as to interview me for his magazine Sinescope.

I had these posted on flickr till my account expired, now they are all hidden, as are the stories behind them....

but follow the link above, and you'll get all the details...

Art Journal page about my depression (panic/anxiety) in mixed media (magazine cut-outs, acrylics, Sharpie markers, pen, sharpie poster paints.)

This is only intended as a placeholder. Comments are not expected on this.

texture:

www.flickr.com/photos/27805557@N08/3642351731/

Watercolor pencils, 21*30 cm, 2015

Depression

iPad, ArtRage. Based on a photograph by Jack Delano for the FSA, circa 1941, Massachusetts.

My fight with depression has left a heavy toll on my family, my few friends, my art and my psyche. Wanting to avoid every shop window or mirror in order to avoid seeing my reflection is one of the many symptoms of this disease. Learning to deal with this is another thing entirely and as such this is the start of a series which takes me out of my comfort zone and tests my wherewithal.

2018P52 Week 41: Mental Health Awareness

Depression is a dark place where one feels trapped. It's a helpless feeling and there seems to be no escape... or even the energy to seek an escape.

If you or a loved one is clinically depressed, you/they desperately need help to find a way out.

. . blues".

Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown (almost), alive and well in Huahin, Thailand. Playing the blues outside a public "utility", while a reggae festival was being held on the beach 25 clicks north.

The title is a song title of old "gatemouth".

Linz, February 2024

Someone get her the Valium. Hope this is not how the artist feels.

My Art work with Photoshop

This was created for julia rothman's new book "The Art of Science" published by chronicle books.