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OOGABOOGABOO!

 

Carrion Crawlers are way oldschool - my guess is that Gary Gygax bought a rubber centipede or something, and used it. Carrion Crawlers are natural scavengers, preferring to eat things that are dead. Of course, that doesn't stop them from killing you and eating you later, just saying. But they can be tamed, and lots of people love using them as pets, mounts, garbage disposal, or what-have-you. Just watch out for the paralyzing venom in their tentacles.

 

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I know they look just like orangutans, but Bar-Lguras are demons that are nearly as mean as the average orangutan! Bar-Lguras are also known as "Abduction demons" becaus ekidnapping is their favorite activity - either through teleportation magic or just by grabbin' someone and swinging away!

 

You know, sometimes I think D&D designers got a little lazy. But then I enjoy the monsters anyway.

Despite being horrible creatures that live in filth, Otyughs perform a valuable service by eating dung and refuse. Of course, they also eat live prey, such as people, but that's something you just have to deal with.

Three-part description: The character, the miniature, and then the ORIGINAL Orcus! And the original Orcs, too!

 

When you're talking about the big bads of D&D, Orcus is one of the biggest and the baddest. One of the major Demon Lords, Orcus is equal to Graz'zt and Demogorgon in power and influence, and their rivalry is the main reason why demons don't just swarm over all the planes and burn everything. But the thing is, he's more than "just' a demon lord, he's also a god. Orcus was originally just a demon lord (which is like saying "Oh, he was just the emperor), until he was killed in a random struggle. Orcus responded to dying by coming back as undead, and taking the deomain of undeath as his. He then managed to graduate to full godhood, and even though he has shed his previous undead nature, he is one of the leading gods of undeath and reanimation. Ghouls? All his. Liches? A surprising amount give him alliegance. In 4th Edition D&D, the main quest series (going from 1st to 30th level) is all about discovering his plot to take control of the whole domain of death itself, and become Lord of the Afterlife. And the fight against him in the end is INSANE. Well... yeah. He's a god, and all. They don't go down easy. But let's take a closer look. Orcus's staff contains the skull of a dead god, and he can kill someone purely by touching them with it - in 4th Edition, it knocks you out immediately, and takes out half of your health if it misses, though after he uses it he has a 1/6 chance of being able to use it again next round. Just being near Orcus is deadly, as he emits an aura that instantly resurrects anybody killed as a ghoul under his control. And if you take hom down... he might not be dead. There's a good chance he can just go back to his plane, recover, and take you down later.

 

This figure is really significant - the Gargantuan Orcus figure was going to be released (like some of the big dragons) for D&D miniatures, but then got cancelled. So cancelled, in fact, that they showed off the prototype at GenCon 2007 because they didn't have to worry about NDAs anymore. But the response to THAT was enough outcry for Orcus to be put into full production. He's kind of expensive, but VERY well-made and painted, extremely huge, and - get this - made of DURABLE MATERIALS. WOW. He's mostly a soft plastic (that holds detail well) or hard rubber. orcus has a chance of not exploding if you drop him! And the PAINT is fantastic, outdoing pretty much any other D&D mini, even the COlossal Red Dragon that's about twice his size (and same price).

 

And finally, a quick word on mythological origins - Orcus was the name of an ancient Roman death/underworld judge-god. After Christianity came by, Orcus got turned into sort of a devil figure (just like Hades!), and soon his origins were forgotten in favor of using his name for generic monsters and demons. This is where we get the word "Orc," which predates Tolkien. And now you know!

 

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To stand against the darkness...

 

To face overwhelming odds...

 

To sacrifice oneself in the name of righteousness...

 

This is what it means to be a Holy Paladin.

  

A Paladin in Hell is the name of one of the most classic pieces of Dungeons & Dragons art, one which has been reproduced in every edition and occasionally in other gaming systems, too. A paladin, the holiest of holy warriors, fights alone against all the hordes of Hell itself.

 

For a good overview, look here: hackslashmaster.blogspot.com/2012/01/on-classic-imagery-p...

 

A good test of the average RPGer is how they look at this picture - is the paladin going to make it out of there? Will he be overwhelmed? Do you see it as hopeful or sad? Exciting or terrifying? Will he be victorious in holding back evil, or is he sacrificing himself? Regardless, this image of one man standing against the darkness has inspired more stories and characters than anybody can count.

 

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Some undead monsters make you question your sanity.

 

Boneclaws are more than mere undead - these gigantic dessicated corpses are intelligent, and have claws that can extend for up to twenty feet. Moreso, when you reconcile their various pieces of lore in D&D canon... they are natural. A natural mutation, or perhaps evolution of undead creatures. Necromancers have managed to replicate the effect and create their own, but... Boneclaws are a natural occurance. Be terrified.

 

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My Little Ponies, Apocalypse Ponies... well, sorta.

 

The Nightmare is an awesome D&D thing. It's a big flaming shadowy evil horse of evil doom from a bad place, usually tamed only by bad people. But I say, why? Sure, it's actually an evil horse, but you could trian it to be good! most horses aren't exactly nice little creatures, anyway.

HOLY CRAP THAT THING'S AS BIG AS A MINIVAN.

 

Beholders come in all shapes and sizes. Ultimate Tyrants are the biggest and toughest of them, easily on par with the strongest monsters in D&D, period. Your average Ultimate Tyrant's eye rays can burn, wither, freeze, toss, madden, petrify, disintegrate, or even unravel people, and that's just the beginning! In fact, in 4th Edition, there's a variant of these guys (The Eternal Tyrant) who is arguably as tough in a fight as some of the gods.

 

Also, since it's bigger than a GI Joe, it's an awesome desk ornament.

 

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Celestial (boobies) serpent-women who (boobies) promote justice, goodness, (boobies) and mercy, Lillends can shapeshift (boobies) and have a great variety of holy magical (boobies) powers. They are also highly protective of art, music, (boobies) culture, and all things beautiful.

AKA Everybody On The Internet. For realz.

 

D&D Trolls are infamous for their ability to regenerate from anything, even being chopped up into trollbits. The only way to kill one is to burn it with fire or acid, which puts it down for the count (and wa salso the solution in the novel, Three Hearts And Three Lions, from which Dungeons & Dragons swiped its troll design). Don't let his big goofy nose fool you - the average troll is about ten feet tall, and can easily crush your skull like a melon.

The most numerous of Draconians, these guys petrify when they die, trapping weapons in their stone bodies.

Demonic assassins, Babau are silent, venomous stalkers, covered in acidic slime.

When you think of a Lovecraft monster as an amorphous blob of tentacles and eyes, you're probably thinking of a Shoggoth.

 

"It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster than any subway train—a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes forming and un-forming as pustules of greenish light all over the tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its kind had swept so evilly free of all litter."

-At the Mountains of Madness

 

These things were created to be servitors of the Elder Things, and have a lot of brief mentions in Lovecraft's stories, most prominently appearing in At The Mountains Of Madness.

DC Santarchy - '06 - Two very nice looking waitresses at the 3rd Edition in the back station mugging for the camera.

Oh no! Not only is he a big toad-man, he's a THUG, too! And he's bullying that little frog!

Grells are weird, even for aberrations. These tentacled, flying, breaked brains seem like animals, but actually have their own society and language - they just look so far down on other sentient life that they never deign to attempt contact. The merest brush of a Grell's barbed tendrils can paralyze a man, and their brainlike bodies are far tougher than they look.

The original Headless Horseman is named Dullahan, and he isn't a ghost!

 

An ancient dark fairy, Dullahan rides by night on his dark steed, searching for those doomed to die. When he finds them, Dullahan will splash blood on them. No gate or door can bar his way, though throwing gold in his path occasionally works - but be warned, if you interfere too much, he will mark you, too, or fight more directly with his whip made from a human's spinal cord.

 

Blood-splashing, human spine-whip... is it just me, or are the original myths way darker than anything Tim Burton may have thought up for that movie?

 

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WHO LIKES SHORT SHORTS?

  

I LIKE SHORT SHORTS!

Double the treasure, double the trouble! This dragon has two fire-breathing heads, and only the bravest (or most foolish) of warriors would even attempt to face one.

A regular fire elemental is bad enough; these guys are walking infernos.

It's always bad news when something nonhuman becomes a lich. Dracoliches manage to combine the worst parts of dragons and undead, and although they are very rare, they can do a whole lot of damage.

 

The most famous Dracolich on record is Dragotha, a being of near-deity strength (well, he DID have a relationship with Tiamat)!

 

The second D&D movie, Wrath of the Dragon God (which wasn't very good, but was way better than the first), involves Faluzure, a dracolich god.

 

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The Shadowfell is a realm of darkness and undeath, and is fought over by several factions - one of them are the Death Giants, titanic fiends of darkness. They resemble huge vampires, but steal and horde souls rather than blood. Those souls form a swirling aura that encircles and empowers them, making the Death Giants stronger with each and every kill.

Yikes!

 

Fomorians before 4th Edition D&D were just giant, pale, deformed giants. But in the newest edition, they were given an expanded role in the mythos, serving as evil-eyed fey tyrants!

These strange creatures live in cities deep within the moon, and hold great influence throughout the cosmos. Do not let their froglike appearance fool you.

Unique among illithids, the Pale Flayer is a gifted leader of his kind, a prophet and seer, guiding his people into ever more diabolical schemes.

Technically not a warforged, warforged titans are... well, technically warforged, too. They lack the intelligence and sentience of their smaller kin, instead behaving much closer to traditional robots. Older prototypes of what would eventually become the warforged race, these juggernauts still see fairly regular production and use in armies all across Eberron.

Yes, Dragonborn have undead, too. And what could be worse for a loyal servant of Bahamut than to be turned into an undead abomination?

When the mad deformed kings of the fairies want to bring the pain, you can bet that it will be bad!

Also known as Scrags, Sea Trolls barely resemble their landbound kin due to their fishy scales and proportions, but they are certainly part of the ame species. They can only regenerate when in water, but it's nearly impossible to destroy a Scrag when it's wet.

  

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Blue Dragons are native to the desert, where they can burrow under the sand and hide if necessary. But why hide when you're bigger than an elephant and can spit lightning?

One of the most classic D&D monsters, the Bulette came from a dime store dinosaur. In the game, these land sharks are large dinosaurish reptiles that can burrow through the ground as easily as swimming, and is carnivorous. Their size changes depending on edition - first edition was Large, second and third were Huge, fourth is both Large and Huge. Enjoy!

What's better than a dinosaur? A SUPER dinosaur! This is a Tyrannosaurus Rex with an added D&D template, which is just kind of like overkill. It's Fiendish. It is a T-Rex from Hell.

Far from the sunken city of R'yleh, there are some who would perform rites to awaken the Great Old One and bring endless madness to the world.

These prickly impish devils serve as scouts and messengers for the massive armies of the Ba'atezu devils.

One of the more humanoid types of devils, Chain Devils don't just wear chains, they are a part of the devil's body. Their chains can extend incredible distances, and they have more than one or two - you try fighting an enemy that can pretty much tie up your whole adventuring party at once!

He's mutated so huge that it ripped his skin off!

The dreaded spawn of Cthulhu, Ghatanothoa is so terrible that mearly the sight of it will shrivel mortal man into a mummified husk. Ghatanothoa is now imprisoned beneath a mountain, but his Lloigor servants still permeate the world, spreading the horrific influence of their master.

Deep within the bowels of the Nine Hells, Pit Fiends rule over their devil brethren. They are botht he brains and the brawn of the Blood War armies - master strategists and tacticians, yet contianing enough raw muscle and arcane might to decimate an army. Any lone hero who tries to take one on is either brave, or stupid. Or perhaps blessed with a deity on their side...

 

This is a spiritual successor to A Paladin In hell:

www.flickr.com/photos/74529773@N07/7820517554/

Yet another kind of snaky aberration, Guiltspur Nagas are slender, purple, and hide out well in the deep, dank caves of the world.

 

Oh, yeah... and guilt. Spurred. Or something.

The poster child for 4th Edition's elemental titans, Fire Titans take everything that Fire Giants are, and square it. Fire Giants are big, proportioned like dwarves, orange-haired, black-skinned (like coal, not racism), and don't mind heat very much. Fire Titans are the same, except twice as big, their hair appears to be on fire, and you can even see the seething magma beneath their coaly skin. Just standing near one might set you on fire, which is exactly what they would want - these guys mean business.

 

Now that I think of it, he's kind of a Reverse Santa. Or maybe a really buff Heat Miser.

Okay, even with the name change they're really just Balrogs.

Wyverns are an old heraldic type of creature similar to dragons, and likely inspired in some way by Pterosaurs. They stand on two feet, with their "arms" as wings. In some legends, they have venomous stingers in their tails.

Even when undead, Cyclopes are terribly powerful guardians. And their skulls look nothing like an elephant!

A wereshark captain of a crew of weresharks, Riptooth is a massive Great White, bigger than any human has any right to be.

 

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Somewhat small and equipped with only four heads, Fen Hydras are nevertheless quite dangerous opponents.

Unique among mind flayers, the Pale Illithid is a gifted leader of his kind, a prophet and seer, guiding his people into ever more diabolical schemes.

 

(Also, he replaced a few light bulbs in his house)

Legal proceedings mean that you can't call this guy an "Ent," though he's certainly similar! Treants are guardians of the forest.

“D’ye ken the tale o’ Whalebone Pilk? They say he took the whaler Belle Dame to sea from Magnimar. Sich was his success tha’ they called ‘im Whalebone fer leavin’ naught else behind, an’ they called ‘is ship th’ Bell, fer the way he rang it with such furor ever’ time ‘e seen a whale’s spout. Pilk chased a pod o’ bowheads off th’ shoulder o’Hermea, headin’ south. Beat ‘is knuckles bloody ringin’ that bell, chased ‘em out t’ sea an’ away from th’ world, ‘til th’ crew mutinied. Ol’ Pilk had th’ ringleader tied t’ th’ mast an’ ordered th’ mate t’ lash ‘im s’long’s the Cap’n kept ringin’ th’ bell. The mate’s arm gave out afore Pilk’s did. Once the mutineer was dead, Pilk had ‘im skinned an’ rendered inna try-pot, an’ nailed ‘is skull t’ th’ mainmast as a warnin’. Weren’t long after when a huge bull bowhead rammed th’ ship an breached ‘er hull. Pilk cursed th’ whales and cursed ‘is men and kept right on ringin’ that bell all the way down ter the sea bottom, two thousand miles from land. They say ‘e kin ne’er rest ‘til e’s taken th’ skulls o’ a thousand victims.”

Malevolent spirits of ash smoke and fire, volcano ghosts quietly build up pressure in anticipation of the next violent eruption.

the Dragonlance setting (world of Krynn) did a lot of thigns differently from standard D&D. Clerical magic was a rarity, dragons no longer had certain defining physical characteristics, there were no orcs... and draconians were everywhere! Evil dragon-man hybrids (predating those Dragonborn), each kind of Draconian has its own specialty and silly way of dying (like turning to stone or exploding). Sivaks are BIG, and can change their shape - when they die, they either turn into their killer, or burst into flames depending on whether they are male or female.

 

Hilariously (and maybe coincidentally, maybe not), this figure looks exactly like one of the stage bosses in the Capcom arcade beat 'em up, The King of Dragons (The "Ancient Dragonian"). Even got the same sword.

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