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So, this might be a long post. When I shot this, I was trying to re-capture a moment. Its not identical physically, but its close. Since shooting and editing though, it has come to represent several themes that I will try to summarise here.
My Mum died at 6.45am on Friday 29th June. The moments directly after passing were the most surreal I have ever encountered in my life. As with anything in life- when you are thrust into a world that you don't understand (like MOT's or buying a house) you look to the people who work in that field to guide you through it. In this instance it was the Doctor who came to do the final checks to register that this life has now passed. The Doctor came out of the room and shook both our hands and told us how sorry he was. I asked him what happens now. What I was expecting was some sort of ownership for Arthur and I. Politely, the Doctor told me I would have to ask the Nurses. I asked them "So we just pack up and go home?". Turns out that is exactly what happens. So we left the ward, and went to our cars respectively. I remember the drive home. Unable to really process yet able to drive. When I got home, I went into shock. For 3 hours I was unable to move, talk or breathe. I stared at the same point on my headboard and the noises that came out of my mouth were like nothing I had heard before. Primal.
Over the couple of weeks that have followed, you try to make sense of time. The days that led up to the passing become incredibly important. Everything becomes of significance. I remember looking back at my stream to pinpoint when Mums diagnosis had been. It was 11 weeks prior to death. From what I wrote I can see the questions I had back then. We knew the diagnosis was Bone Cancer (following 2 years of tests) but there was no timeline "You're healthy, working, you will probably just tick along like this indefinitely" was the prognosis.
I was in Paris the week before Mum died. I didn't want to go, but she insisted. She told me it was important that I go, and when I returned she would have had a healing. I lasted for 2 days out of 6 and honestly, the time I spent there were misplaced. Really, I shouldn't have gone, but in some aspects it was good that I did. The major highlight was finally meeting Derek Gores and his partner Christy. The collage on the wall in my bedroom was the catalyst that led me to seek out Derek, and through one twist and another I got to spend an evening having dinner and making some photographs with the 2 of them. It was amazing.
During the evenings in Paris, I spent them on my own as Michaela who I was staying with had to work. I listened to a lot of worship music via her laptop and Youtube and cried a lot. I think I was preparing for Mum to die at that stage.
One of the songs I listened to a lot was Facedown by Matt Redman. It really spoke to me about how small we are really and how much bigger what we do with our lives is. Ultimately are we spending our time in the right areas or are there places we know we need to address?
2016 Thomas Saf-T-Liner C2 bus #32 at the Cardinal Bus Garage in Middlefield, Ohio. Bus was used for a summer school field trip. Unsure why 31 magnets are still on the bus, as 31 will be back in service this fall.
Today it snowed, and you all went outside to play. Your little brother had a bit of a cold so mommy had to stay behind and watch you all jump around in the snow without me. I managed to bribe you to come out and play for just a little bit later on. We didn't last long because it was quite cold but a little one on one time with you was well overdue.
taiwan, 1972
taroko gorge
taroko national park
part of an archival project, featuring the photographs of nick dewolf
© the Nick DeWolf Foundation
Image-use requests are welcome via flickrmail or nickdewolfphotoarchive [at] gmail [dot] com
I found these awesome gloves at Target. I've always wanted a pair of opera length leather gloves, but these are a cute stand-in for now. This picture felt really boring at first, but I threw it into Flare, which I really hadn't utilized until tonight and I thought this was fun first cut. Not much time tonight, but I'll be using Flare a little more in the future.
E qui una novità per me............a Sampierdarena Smistamento, in sosta insieme alla D753.703 di LINEA, ecco la G2000-32 di Arena Ways appartenuta come s'intravede ancora sulla fiancata della cabina a Railion
At the train station with my son, getting ready to go to get a cupcake with his preschool class.
Florabella Smitten and Envy Action from Luxe 2.
Winona shared her fears about visiting to the settlers' village with her husband, Squanto. Squanto reassured her that there will be more Wampanoag than settlers and they will be fine. They have lived for many months in harmony with the English.
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Squanto was a real Wampanoag who was at the first Thanksgiving. I do not know if he was married, I made that part up for this story.
I don't know of Native American women and children actually accompanied the men, but there were over 90 Native Americans there and only about 50 English.
Day 32
1st Feb 2013
A lovely, if not a little busy day! Mummies and babies round for coffee and breakfast this morning whilst the older kiddies were at school, dentist at lunch time and then school run and friend for tea. Glad it's Friday. Feeling a bit grotty today, headachy and tired. Hoping that a good night's sleep will help!
Little Lady was playing with Chap's magnifying glass at tea time, couldn't resist getting a photo! Thought it was a good fit for ODC2 Challenge Through.
Title: 32 Robeson Street
Creator: City of Boston
Date: circa 1880-1920
Source: Boston Landmarks Commission image collection, 5210.004
File name: 5210004_010_533
Rights: Copyright City of Boston
Citation: Boston Landmarks Commission image collection, Collection 5210.004, City of Boston Archives, Boston
Title: 32 Robeson Street
Creator: Boston Redevelopment Authority
Date: circa 1970-1980
Source: Boston Landmarks Commission image collection, 5210.004
File name: 5210004_010_534
Rights: Copyright City of Boston
Citation: Boston Landmarks Commission image collection, Collection 5210.004, City of Boston Archives, Boston