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Day 23 of 365
The Intravenous Internet. Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to the internet and if I pulled out the plug it might hurt.
See it bigger.
Highest Explore position: 8
Today we were 23 people and a dog #fridayforfuture
I don't know who wrote this, but, lately, I can read it every time when I feel helpless.
Please make time and read it for yourself.
"The first thing to do when you find out about abrupt climate change and near term extinction is to panic. Then, you will obsess over the idea because it’s so hard to believe. You will find Guy McPherson, Extinction Rebellion, Sam Carana, Paul Beckwith, Scientist Warning, the Collapse Chronicles, Deep Adaptation, Jem Bendell, IPCC, Environmental Coffee House and you will look up all the people they interview.... and on and on further down the rabbit hole.
You will imagine the most horrific scenarios of how our civilization will collapse. You will be overwhelmed with pain when you imagine how your loved ones will die. You will want to tell your loved ones and you probably do. You will wonder why mainstream society is not panicking like you are. Then you’ll wonder if it’s really true. If you tell your loved ones they will think you are delusional and having a nervous breakdown. They might even distance themselves for you.
You will find out that the fossil fuel industry understood that this catastrophe will happen and hid the info. You will learn that just about every political leader in the world knows about the catastrophe ahead of us because they meet every year to talk about it (UN Conference of the Parties COP). Then, you will be filled with rage, disgust, and helpless.
Rage and anger will come over you like a tsunami. How could it be possible that the fossil fuel industry knew what would happen? How could the politicians let this happen? And even now, let it continue to happen? They knew total climate chaos is what would happen with the use of fossil fuels. How could they not care? How fucked up are they to make billions even trillions of dollars over killing everyone and everything in this planet?
How is it possible that even now, most people don’t care? People stay in denial and pretend everything is ok. You will fall into the abyss of anger and hatred for the corporations, the politicians, the super-rich, the people that don’t recycle, etc...
Then more fear, incredibly intense anxiety, rage, denial, rage, horror, will continue to haunt you. You will imagine death everywhere you go. Nature will overwhelm you because you will feel we killed it. Everywhere you go. Just going for a walk becomes painful because you know everything will die. Looking at a child will break your heart and fill you with a sense of deep deep sadness, unlike anything you have ever experienced before.
But, at some point, you will reach the gratitude stage.
Where you accept our “predicament”, our demise, or catastrophic death... whatever you want to call it.
You will focus on gratitude, where the idea of NTE disappears. You will feel like you are the luckiest person to live in such a beautiful place and to have the means to access it. You will find that it doesn’t matter where you live, you will feel like it’s a wonderful place because you are filled with gratitude. You will think about your family and friends and feel fortunate to be with them.
On this stage, everything is a blessing.
Then there’s a joy. Your heart will fill with joy and delight. Everything is beautiful and wonderful. You will feel a wave of happiness that you can’t really explain.
Sometimes in the moments of gratitude when you are walking, a sudden wave of guilt rolls in and so starts the negative parts of this cycle.
The beautify is lost.
You notice how the plants and trees are drying and dying. The sense of guilt is debilitating because you feel like you are part of the problem, that you are killing the planet just like everyone else. You feel guilty and ashamed because, before, you could not see how we are killing this unique amazing planet. You might have even made fun of those “environmentalists”. Maybe, at this point, you try to change your lifestyle to be more “sustainable or ecological.” You might even encourage your friends and family to change their choices to consume less and reduce their carbon footprint. You wonder what climate “activism” is and you might join groups like Climate Strike, Extinction Rebellion....etc.
Then you read an article on the latest UN report or IPCC or scientific study....that says everything is more fucked up than we thought it was. The phrase “faster than expected” starts to sound like a line from a song you hate but it plays over and over in your head. Then you feel anger over the reality that this catastrophe was expected.
Then, another crazy extreme weather event happens and you start to think
“This is It” .........maybe.
You will obsess about the timeline.
When will the shit hit the fan? or your local fan or your personal fan. You might start “prepping.” You obsess about what could happen in your area and then the cycle of the horror of the thought of how you and your loved ones will die starts again.
Eventually, you realize no one really knows what is happening, how fast it’s happening and what will eventually happen to you. But you know it’s soon and no one will tell you when “this is it”.
And surprisingly, you might even start to normalize this catastrophe.
Throughout this process you long for people to talk about this stuff with. You want to feel less alone and crazy. So you spend a lot of time on this FB group and others. This feels like an obsession. Because this world seems more real than your everyday life. You learn how to cope or not cope with living in 2 worlds. One is your every day, nothing is happening, climate change doesn’t matter. And the other, we are totally and completely fucked and we deserve it and “it” (collapse, “end of the world”) is imminent. You might think, this is could be our last good year or summer or winter or season or month. “ The timeline will change based on your emotions and how you understand the latest “science” and the extreme weather you read about or witness or experience or who you believe is telling “the truth”.
The important thing is for you to feel like you are not alone.
Because even in your darkest, most isolating, self-destructive, enraged moments you are not “alone”. You are not the only one that feels this indescribable pain, you are not crazy. And expressing your emotions is ok. And feeling like this is a “normal” appropriate response to the understanding we caused the 6th mass extinction event in planetary history and there’s nothing we can do to “fix” it and you will witness unimaginable suffering is totally a “rational” responsible. Others have reacted this way too. Your experience is unique and valid but it’s not totally crazy or “overreacting.” You are brave and strong to look at the situation as best as you can, tell it like is and still continue to live your life. You eventually “come to peace” with this tragedy, even if it’s just for a tiny moment. The sense of gratitude and joy and most importantly time will out weight all the pain.
You will understand that the gift of this knowledgeable is TIME.
You have time to react, reflect, and act as it makes sense to you. You have time to “enjoy what you have” while you have it. You have time to tell the people you love, that you love them. You have time to get “closure” on things that need closing. You have time to “make peace” with Nature. You have time to enjoy the life you live. You have the opportunity to let go of the stuff that really doesn’t matter. For example, the act or guilt of not contributing to a retirement account, the pressure of debt, in the long run, doing things you don’t want to do, that you thought would get you to a place you want to be in the future you weren’t sure you wanted anyway.
You have the gift of time.
This opens the door to the cycles of hellish thoughts and experiences but also to the beauty and gratitude and love and joy of the world you have in front of you right now.
So, here is my “hopium” bit. It seems obligatory to end an article or talk on a kind of positive hopeful note.
The world is ending, it’s our fault, and we can’t fix it.
You have no control. The end is coming, you might have a choice on how you will meet it (emotionally, intellectually).
And, if you are panicking and not ready to deal with this, that’s totally normal. If you want to watch funny cat videos and scape with or without “substances” that’s ok too. If you want to “go back” to not worrying about this stuff that’s ok too.
There is no one way or right way to deal with this stuff.
Now you know.
Here it is.”
J. M.
Ni rastro queda ya de los 23 frailes carmelitas que hace siglos habitaron este monasterio.
Los valles que protegían estos clérigos con sus oraciones a Nuestra Señora aún permanecen verdes y fértiles, así que parece que ellos hicieron bien su labor. Aunque dado el estado actual del Monasterio, puede que se olvidaran de pedir por ellos mismos.
Ahora, las estrellas, testigos mudos de aquellos tiempos, observan cada noche las ruinas y recuerdan los ecos de las antiguas plegarias resonando en estos decrépitos muros.
Shot this piece at Horsebridge Mill a couple of years ago when it looked pretty fresh, love it in this state.
Thanks~♥ Peach ♥ NEO ♥
- Donut beanie : 2PM.
- Knee tattoos : NEO** (Catty & Doggy-RARE @ The Season Story)
사랑함 ♥
Self.
My first real photo retouching attempt! Not completely happy with it, especially with the hair scenario, but it was a fun(*cough cough) and learning experience. Couldn't have done it without the help of Aaron Nace and Phlearn!
Strobist: paul c. buff einstein(gridded) slightly to left of camera. white reflector slightly to left and below
Pls chose the Girl/Bitch you like , and leave a dirty and long comment .... will be more pictures from the winner
With a break in the spring storms, I finally made it out to Santa Cruz Island for some underwater critter searching. There were slugs and tiny fish that I was happy to re-visit.