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Studio self-portrait in black & white, part of a series of self portraits on the theme of aging.
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I know my glasses are not straight on my nose !
je sais, mes lunettes ne sont pas droites sur mon nez !
this morning i thought of johnny cash.
i played his songs on my guitar.
i wondered where you are, and why you arent listening to me
and singing along. i know youre brave enough to contact me.
it happens i'm not so brave this month, and long for your letter to arrive.
in electronics, or my mail box.
that metal flap like some hungry mouth
with bits of rust.
it just gapes open every morning when i pass it.
only the postman knows the empty pit of
hunger that stirs under the heat of july deep inside
my black metal mailbox.
this morning i passed it
and some how your tiny note.
i found it tonight.
you made me remember johnny again tonight.
i made my home tonight between the sliver of moon and your eyes.
the fallen leaf color of your eyes.
i wondered about how we both took love away from people.
where have we put it?
i wonder what its like to hear your voice swell near the guitar.
i have no one else to think of, but this is not why i think of you tonight.
i wonder if your feet are lonely like mine.
you wondered if it was a poem.
i'm sure you wonder about this.
they are both MESSAGES.
you asked me (in a dream) what my hands have cupped today.
a sword. a bowl of korean noodles. a steering wheel.
my own hands.
my wounded legs and shoulders. hope dripping from your eyes.
i was asked today why i am alone. why i have no wife or woman companion.
i smiled shyly and ate my korean noodles. looking at the mass of circles.
maybe i'm in there running around and around waiting for the strength of wood to lift me and devour me.
why wont you chopstick me away?
where are you?
do you exist?
i wish you would lift me against your body, this frail guitar
i wish you would stroke me so that i may vibrate against you.
so that my undulating would release a song that is clinging
to your heart
like an old icicle.
i dont wish you to be at the curb tonight, nor any night.
i wish for you to set a fire between my fingers,
my arms
my legs
between hope and satisfaction.
come with me and command that army of stars
shoo them just far enough away
so that your skin is an outline in the dark
and your heart is flaming
in movement to mine.
this can only happen
if you come off the curb
and find me
with this open door
only. only if you make it through the swirls of korean noodles,
dreams, and concrete props of this life.
i am here.
beyond
waiting.
beyond.
©2004sfradzikowski
Forget-me-not
The Christ Child was sitting on Mary's lap one day and said that he wished that future generations could see her eyes. He touched her eyes and then waved his hand over the ground and blue forget-me-nots appeared, hence the name forget-me-not.
Henry IV adopted the flower as his symbol during his exile in 1398, and retained the symbol upon his return to England the following year.
In a German legend, God named all the plants when a tiny unnamed one cried out, "Forget-me-not, O Lord!" God replied, "That shall be your name."
In 15th-century Germany, it was supposed that the wearers of the flower would not be forgotten by their lovers.
Forget-me-nots may be annual or perennial plants. Most have small (1 cm diameter or less) flat, 5-lobed blue, pink or white flowers with yellow centers, growing on scorpioid cymes. They bloom in spring. Leaves are alternate. Popular in gardens.
Family: Boraginaceae; Subfamily: Boraginoideae; Genus: Myosotis; Species: about 50
Source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forget-me-not
Spring Watch, London
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Poster (Locandina):
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Religious devotion, at times, in Sicily seems to take on the face of women, like that of the two Sicilian saints Agata and Lucia along the Ionian coast of Sicily, or the face of Rosalia, on the opposite side, in Palermo. The lives of Agata and Lucia are closely linked, even though they never met. Agata was martyred in 251, Lucia was not yet born, she was born 32 years later. On February 5, 301, she went to Catania to pray at Agata's tomb to invoke her intercession, hoping to obtain the healing of her mother, who was seriously ill. Agata appeared to her in a dream, confirmed her mother's healing (her mother was healed), but also confided in her that she would be martyred because of her faith in Christ: Lucia was martyred on December 13, 304, during the persecutions of Diocletian. What has been said as an incipit of the photographic story that I present here, created on the occasion of the celebration that Catania dedicates to its Patron Saint Agatha, described as the most important religious celebration in Catania, also considered the third Catholic religious celebration in the world (first are the “Semana Santa” in Seville, and the “Corpus Domini” in Cuzco in Peru), a ranking that takes into account the huge number of people who participate every year. The celebration of Saint Agatha takes place on several dates, from 3 to 6 February, on 12 February and on 17 August: the February celebration is linked to her martyrdom, the August celebration commemorates the return to Catania of her mortal remains, initially taken to Constantinople as spoils of war by the Byzantine general Maniaces, and remained there for 86 years. The young Agata lived in the 3rd century, she belonged to a rich patrician family of Catania, since she was young she had embraced the cult of the Christian religion, the governor Quinziano (or Quintiliano) fell in love with her, Agata to escape him hid in his house in Palermo, Quinziano managed to find out where she was hiding, so he had her taken to Catania, here his attempts to bend Agata's will and make her give in to his flattery were in vain, after her umpteenth refusal he changed his intentions, accused her of being of the Christian religion, condemned her to death, not without first having led her to martyrdom, he amputated her by tearing off both her breasts, in this way in addition to the torment of physical pain, the psychological one was added, humiliating the girl in her femininity, then he gave her death by dragging her on burning coals, Agata was 20 years old. After her death, the cult of her began to spread, even the pagans began to venerate her figure, there is news about her origins starting from 252, the year after her death: the inhabitants of Catania were proud of this young woman who rebelled against the will of the dictator. The feast of Saint Agatha begins on February 3, there is the procession "for the offering of wax", the two eighteenth-century carriages of the senate pulled by horses come out along the streets of the city, "the candelore" make their appearance; on February 4th the celebration begins with the “Mass of Dawn” which is celebrated in the cathedral, after the reliquary bust of the Saint and the silver casket, they are placed on the “vara” (or “fercolo”), to be carried in procession in its “external tour”, the procession begins by crossing the “Porta Uzeda” and thus reaching the arches of the marina, the procession then circumscribes the historic center of the city, going to the places where Agatha’s martyrdom took place; : On February 5th the “Pontifical Mass” is celebrated, on this occasion by lining up in the cathedral, you can go and see the reliquary bust of the Saint, as evening comes, the bust and the casket are placed back on the heavy float for the last procession, which goes along the “internal tour” (or “noble tour”), which crosses the historic center of Catania, a procession preceded by the passage of lit candles carried on the shoulders of devotees (of various weights and sizes, some reach exceptional dimensions and weight, historically these candles illuminated, when electricity did not exist, the passage of the Saint), then the “candelore” pass, they are gigantic and heavy wooden “candelabra”, in baroque style, painted in gold, each one represents an ancient corporation (butchers, fishmongers, bakers, pork butchers, greengrocers, etc.), finally the float with Saint Agatha passes, the long-awaited moment, with the reliquary bust that it contains inside some parts of her body, the other parts of her body are inside the casket, so, with both on the float, Agata's entire body can travel the streets of the city of Catania. The float is pulled by hand, by the many devotees who wish to participate spontaneously in this very particular rite, using two large cords more than 200 meters long, to the end of which are connected four handles. The photographs were taken on February 4 and 5, 2024 and 2025, they are not organized in series taking into account either the year or the days; I obtained a "bilocation effect" by using different shooting points in the two years, visible especially when the float passes through the Porta Uzeda; I made portraits of the devotees, posed and not, in particular the portrait of a devotee who seemed almost enraptured in ecstasy at the passage of Sant'Agata (and perhaps she really was), it represented for me the absolute, profound and concrete synthesis of the attachment of the "citizens" (synonym of "devotees") of Catania towards this young martyr, who has become a symbol of those who oppose violence against women, and protector of women suffering from breast cancer. I photographed two beautiful and sweet models who embodied the "two ages of Agata", with the aim of raising awareness among women in the prevention of breast cancer (the ceramic decorations corresponding to the breasts are the work of "Nenè sculptures of art by Nancy Coco); I captured in some images, the custom of some devotees, to carry with them images of loved ones who passed away too soon (photos placed on candles or printed on the characteristic white habit, called "sacco", which is part of the characteristic way of dressing of the devotees); finally I thank the owner of the Beniamin Art Gallery, in via Umberto, an artist himself, for giving me the opportunity to photograph the Pop icon exhibited in his gallery entitled "Aga Pop".
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La devozione religiosa, a volte, in Sicilia sembra assumere il volto delle donne, come quello delle due sante siciliane Agata e Lucia lungo la fascia Ionica della costa sicula, od il volto di Rosalia, sul versante opposto, in quel di Palermo. Le vite di Agata e Lucia sono tra loro legate in maniera strettamente indissolubile, pur non essendosi mai conosciute, Agata morì martirizzata nel 251, Lucia non era ancora nata, nascerà 32 anni dopo, il 5 febbraio del 301 si recherà a Catania a pregare sul sepolcro di Agata per invocare la sua intercessione sperando così di ottenere la guarigione di sua madre, gravemente malata, Agata le appare in sogno, le conferma la guarigione di sua madre (sua madre ebbe la guarigione), ma anche, le confida, che per lei ci sarà il martirio a causa della sua fede in Cristo: Lucia fu martirizzata il 13 dicembre del 304, durante le persecuzioni di Diocleziano. Quanto detto come incipit del racconto fotografico che qui presento, realizzato in occasione della festa che Catania dedica alla sua Santa Patrona Agata, descritta come la più importante festa religiosa di Catania, considerata anche la terza festa religiosa cattolica al mondo (prime la “Semana Santa” di Siviglia, ed il “Corpus Domini” di Cuzco in Perù), graduatoria che tiene conto del grandissimo numero di persone ogni anno vi partecipano. La festa di Santa’Agata si svolge in più date, dal 3 al 6 febbraio, il 12 febbraio ed il 17 agosto: la ricorrenza di febbraio è legata al suo martirio, quella di Agosto rievoca il ritorno a Catania delle sue spoglie mortali, portate inizialmente a Costantinopoli come bottino di guerra dal generale bizantino Maniace, e li rimaste per 86 anni. La giovane Agata visse nel 3° secolo, apparteneva ad una ricca famiglia patrizia di Catania, sin dalla giovane età aveva abbracciato il culto per la religione cristiana, di lei si invaghì il governatore Quinziano (o Quintiliano), Agata per sfuggirgli si nascose in una sua casa a Palermo, Quinziano riuscì a sapere dove si nascondeva, quindi la fece condurre a Catania, qui i suoi tentativi di piegare la volontà di Agata e farla cedere alle sue lusinghe furono vani, all’ennesimo suo rifiuto egli mutò i suoi propositi, la accusò di essere di religione cristiana, la condannò a morte, non senza averla prima condotta al martirio, le amputò strappandole entrambi i seni, in tal modo oltre allo strazio del dolore fisico, si aggiungeva quello psicologico, umiliando la ragazza nella sua femminilità, poi le diede la morte trascinandola sui carboni ardenti, Agata aveva 20 anni. Dopo la sua morte si iniziò a diffondere il culto verso di lei, anche i pagani iniziarono a venerare la sua figura, si hanno notizie sulle sue origini già a partire dal 252, anno successivo alla sua morte: gli abitanti di Catania erano orgogliosi di questa giovane donna che si ribellò al volere del dittatore. La festa per Sant’Agata inizia il 3 febbraio, si ha la processione “per l’offerta della cera”, escono lungo le vie della città le due settecentesche carrozze del senato trainate da cavalli, fanno la loro comparsa “le candelore”; il 4 febbraio la festa inizia con la “Messa dell’Aurora” che si celebra nella cattedrale, dopo il busto reliquiario della Santa e lo scrigno d’argento, vengono messi sulla “vara” (o “fercolo”), per essere portati in processione nel suo “giro esterno”, la processione inizia attraversando la "Porta Uzeda" e giungendo così agli archi della marina, la processione quindi circoscrive il centro storico della città, recandosi nei luoghi ove avvenne il martirio di Agata; il 5 febbraio si celebra la “Messa Pontificale”, in questa occasione mettendosi in fila nella cattedrale, si può andare a vedere il busto reliquiario della Santa, col sopraggiungere della sera, busto e scrigno, vengono nuovamente messi sulla pesante vara per l’ultima processione, che percorre il “giro interno” (o “giro nobile”), che attraversa il centro storico di Catania, processione preceduta dal passaggio dei ceri accesi portati in spalla dai devoti (di vario peso e dimensioni, alcuni raggiungono dimensioni e peso eccezionali, storicamente questi ceri illuminavano, quando non esisteva l’energia elettrica, il passaggio della Santa), poi passano le “candelore”, sono dei giganteschi e pesanti "candelabri" in legno, in stile barocco, dipinti in oro, ognuna rappresenta una antica corporazione (macellai, pescivendoli, panettieri, pizzicagnoli, fruttivendoli, ecc.), infine passa la vara con Sant’Agata, il momento tanto atteso, col busto reliquiario che racchiude al suo interno alcune parti del suo corpo, le altre parti del corpo si trovano all’interno dello scrigno, in tal modo, con entrambi sulla vara, tutto il corpo di Agata può percorrere le strade della città di Catania. La vara è trainata a mano, dai tantissimi devoti che desiderano partecipare spontaneamente a questo rito così particolare, tramite due grossi cordoni lunghi più di 200 metri, al cui capo sono collegate quattro maniglie. Le fotografie sono state realizzate il 4 ed il 5 febbraio del 2024 e del 2025, esse non sono organizzate in serie tenendo conto né dell’anno, nè delle giornate; ho ottenuto un “effetto di bilocazione” sfruttando differenti punti di ripresa nei due anni, visibile soprattutto quando la vara passa attraverso la Porta Uzeda; ho realizzato ritratti dei devoti, posati e non, in particolare il ritratto di una devota che sembrava quasi rapita in estasi al passaggio di Sant’Agata (e forse lo era veramente), ha rappresentato per me la sintesi assoluta, profonda e concreta dell’attaccamento dei “cittadini” (sinonimo di “devoti”) catanesi nei confronti di questa giovane martire, diventata simbolo di chi si oppone alla violenza sulle donne, e protettrice delle donne ammalate di cancro al seno. Ho fotografato due belle e dolci modelle che impersonavano le “due età di Agata”, con lo scopo di sensibilizzare le donne nella prevenzione delle neoplasie alla mammella (i decori in ceramica in corrispondenza dei seni, sono opera di “Nenè sculture d’arte di Nancy Coco); ho colto in alcune immagini, l’usanza di alcuni devoti, di recare con se immagini di persone care scomparse troppo presto (foto messe sui ceri o stampate sul caratteristico saio bianco, chiamato “sacco”, che fa parte del modo caratteristico di vestire dei devoti); infine ringrazio il proprietario della Beniamin Art Gallery, in via Umberto, artista egli stesso, per avermi dato la possibilità di fotografare l’icona Pop esposta nella sua galleria dal titolo “Aga Pop”.
Moved myself to:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/pamelamachado
Por que me mudei?
Porque quero que associem minhas fotos com Pamela Machado, e não com "intoxique". Espero vocês lá.
Right out of bed, not even combed my hair, straight look into the camera, this is the raw me. This is a big confrontation with my insecurities.
Day24 Year3 of Project 365
Self portrayed. There is a little blur behind me. That is actually my brother walking through the pic
crazy striped dress: Goodwill, charlottesville VA
necklace: small thrift store in newport news, va
belt: F21
shoes: payless
haircut: just got it yesterday! I really missed my bangs.
Texture Credit - Private Braveheart "PBTxtr091"
This mood of "ME" in my series of "ME" is DROWNING. A mood which shows up often in all of our lives.
As human, we are awash in countless flows of responsibilities, stresses, concerns as they rise and fall like a tide and wash in and out like the waves on the beach.
Most times we all keep our heads above these waters, but there are those times when they flow to fast and too much. At those times we feel like we are drowning and cannot keep our heads above these waters.
This image tries to convey "ME" during times I feel like I am DROWNING....