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I don’t normally talk about my problems on Flickr, but I’m really struggling lately so I need to vent. I hesitate to even talk about it because it’s one of those things that unless you’ve been through it, it’s easy to judge because of a lack of understanding.
I”ve been dealing with chronic pain for 2 years now. It’s not the kind of pain that comes and goes. If only I could be that lucky. I hurt 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and have for 2 solid years. It’s isolated to my neck, back and shoulder all on the right side. When I open my eyes in the morning, I’m hurting. When I close my eyes at night, I’m still hurting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat and cried over the fact that it never lets up. Nothing relieves it. Nothing. I’ve seen numerous doctors, been through test after test, tried numerous therapies both traditional and alternative, but still can’t get a clear diagnosis or any relief. This week I’m scheduled to go to a pain specialist for a diagnostic procedure, but even he doesn’t sound hopeful.
I’ve become an expert at hiding this. I smile, laugh and carry on with my life only to come home at night exhausted from fighting it. I’ve yet to miss a day of work because of it. 99% of the people I come in contact with everyday have no clue what’s going on.
This week is just a bad week. It’s one of those weeks where I’m tired of being strong.
That being said, if it wouldn’t have been for photography, I don’t know where I’d be with this right now. It has truly saved me and continues to do so. When my camera’s in my hand, I almost forget about the pain. Almost. It brings me so much joy.
So the title of this photo is very fitting for me. I’m truly missing me right now because that’s what chronic pain does, it takes pieces of you bit by bit.
But I’m a fighter and I”ll keep fighting. Because a part of me still believes that someday, someone will figure this out and fix me.
in our garden this year :-( Large On Black
Netzblatt-Schwertlilie (Iris reticulata)
2008 in our garden - Frankfurt-Nordend
Explored: 16.05.2009
CN 5558 leads CN 331 under the signals at Brantford. With most SD60F's in storage currently I have to go back into the archives to see these beauties.
I hate to regret things, but, I really miss some of the lenses which I sold thinking I don’t need them.
A mellow Saturday after a very busy week and I am missing you. Parts of me are gone when you are not here.
#Douceur - LOA shirt
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This boat was flipped upright when we first arrived, and once we were about to leave, i went over and saw that it had flipped upside down. The water had risen a lot in the 2 hours that we were there.
Sigma 10-20mm
Cokin GND filter.
hoje acordei assim, meia sentindo falta de tudo e de todos, ai tempos bons quando tudo era somente sorrisos e brincadeiras (((:
Milky Way from Sunrise at MRNP this past summer.
This is a 3-shot pano.
(You'll notice the climbers' headlamps as they are making their way to summit before daybreak.)
I was going thru some slide scans and came upon some Conrail stuff.. It started to occur to me that Conrail has now been gone MORE years then it was alive (23 years)! I miss Big Blue, always a steadfast of alot of trains in the Chicago Terminal, you would never be disappointed on the Chicago Line (NYC) east of town.. Do we have a John Stanovich sighting here in the seat? Here I presume is ELBR tip-toeing into 1 lead at the east end of BRC's Clearing Yard at Hayford Jct, on a beautiful late summer afternoon in 96.. Conrail would last but 2.5 years and be dissolved on May 31st 1999 - 26 years and 9 months ago...
taken from inside our car in the Lighthouse Park parking lot in Point Roberts Washington, the last time we were there before the borders closed ...
song - John Waite "Missing You"
RIP - Poopy 2011-2026. We had to say goodbye to this little girl last week, she'd been slowly fading for a while but had a peaceful end. Never given anything but joy for fifteen and a half years and will be so so missed. I was looking through the thousands of images we have of her and remember taking this a little while ago. I didn't often leave the house without her, because she was my little shadow, but if I ever left her at home, no matter for how long really, this was her waiting the other side of the door (patterned glass - hence the odd effect) and always watching and waiting for the car and my return. I still expect that face to be there - not quite home without her.
Missing You
John Waite
Everytime I think of you, I always catch my breath
And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away
And I'm wonderin' why you left
And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight
I hear your name in certain circles, and it always makes me smile
I spend my time thinkin' about you, and it's almost driving me wild
And there's a heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight
I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what I might say
Been away from Seascaping now for a few months for a much needed break. Headed out with Focus this morning to Minnamurra and realised how much I have missed the friendship and the smell of salt air and water. Jeez its good to be back. Thanks to the South crew for a great morning. This is a 5 minute LE, taken about 20 mins before sunrise. Hope you like "Missing You""....Cheers, Mike
A beautiful sunny day in Folkestone, but the recently installed beach huts are somewhat surprisingly underutilised.
"The lesser-black backed gull can be seen on farmland, wetlands and around the coast...It is a large, elegant gull, just a little smaller than the herring gull. Like many gulls, it is omnivorous and often scavenges around rubbish tips and in urban areas...The entire world's population of this gull is found in Europe...A staggering one third of the UK's population can be found at Walney Island in Cumbria..."
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