October 2, 2022 Subverted Selfie Project Post (Be Your Own Beloved Edition)
From October 2, 2022: I’ve just #showered, and I’m lying in #bed, trying to #rest. I’m #exhausted, even though I look oddly #peaceful in the photos I just snapped. A short book, THE MINDFUL WRITER, by Dinty W. Moore, lies beside me along with a rainbow @squishmallows that looks as #defeated, staring up blankly at the ceiling, as I feel on my third day of being really #sick. I think I’ve tried a dozen times to start it, but I fail every time to get past the third page because I just can’t concentrate.
I’m trying to focus in on my breath, but it’s difficult as I keep coughing. Not even the extra strength Halls cough candy is doing anything to give me even the smallest bit of relief from the coughing. It’s warm menthol smell floats through my mouth and nose, but in-spite of this I find that when I try to breathe in, through my nose, I cough. And when I try to hold my breath inside my lungs, I hack. And when I try to breathe out through my mouth, I choke. It’s a process that repeats itself, and to be honest, it’s disconnecting me from being able to find relaxation in the present moment as I find myself getting angry with myself for being physically sick.
I go to the kitchen to make a cup of Neocotrin, and maybe I’ll make a second cup of tea. I don’t know yet. My halls is getting smaller and soon my teeth are able to crush what’s left and I feel it’s slivers across my tongue which soon disappear from the steady sucking I’ve employed on its destruction. When my allergies used to be bad, I’d live on Halls as a means of providing relief from the congestion and constant sneezing that would take over in those moments, for hours at a time.
As soon as the boiling water hits the neocotrin crystals, the smell of lemon wafts up from the cup to float up into my nostrils, where they are gently sucked into my lungs. It’s calming, and needed, even though the drink is too hot to enjoy right away, I find myself starting to sweat again, and I don’t know what the rest of the night will bring.
#275/365.
#beyourownbeloved #beyourownbeloved💖 #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #startingover #selflove #selflovejourney #selflove #dailyselfie #dailywriting #subvertedselfies
October 2, 2022 Subverted Selfie Project Post (Be Your Own Beloved Edition)
From October 2, 2022: I’ve just #showered, and I’m lying in #bed, trying to #rest. I’m #exhausted, even though I look oddly #peaceful in the photos I just snapped. A short book, THE MINDFUL WRITER, by Dinty W. Moore, lies beside me along with a rainbow @squishmallows that looks as #defeated, staring up blankly at the ceiling, as I feel on my third day of being really #sick. I think I’ve tried a dozen times to start it, but I fail every time to get past the third page because I just can’t concentrate.
I’m trying to focus in on my breath, but it’s difficult as I keep coughing. Not even the extra strength Halls cough candy is doing anything to give me even the smallest bit of relief from the coughing. It’s warm menthol smell floats through my mouth and nose, but in-spite of this I find that when I try to breathe in, through my nose, I cough. And when I try to hold my breath inside my lungs, I hack. And when I try to breathe out through my mouth, I choke. It’s a process that repeats itself, and to be honest, it’s disconnecting me from being able to find relaxation in the present moment as I find myself getting angry with myself for being physically sick.
I go to the kitchen to make a cup of Neocotrin, and maybe I’ll make a second cup of tea. I don’t know yet. My halls is getting smaller and soon my teeth are able to crush what’s left and I feel it’s slivers across my tongue which soon disappear from the steady sucking I’ve employed on its destruction. When my allergies used to be bad, I’d live on Halls as a means of providing relief from the congestion and constant sneezing that would take over in those moments, for hours at a time.
As soon as the boiling water hits the neocotrin crystals, the smell of lemon wafts up from the cup to float up into my nostrils, where they are gently sucked into my lungs. It’s calming, and needed, even though the drink is too hot to enjoy right away, I find myself starting to sweat again, and I don’t know what the rest of the night will bring.
#275/365.
#beyourownbeloved #beyourownbeloved💖 #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #startingover #selflove #selflovejourney #selflove #dailyselfie #dailywriting #subvertedselfies