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Tigger's lab results are in. He doesn't have diabetes or thyroid problems. That leaves an intestinal disease which keeps him from absorbing nutrients, or cancer.
Please continue to pray for my kitty. He's a good boy and I'm not ready to lose him, but my funds are limited and chemo, should it be necessary, is out of the question. Pray that I have enough to cover whatever his treatment involves. I'd like to see him completely HEALED!
Thanks for your concern and good wishes, but especially your prayers.
Chris
The Nevada National Security Site (NNSS), previously the Nevada Test Site (NTS), is a United States Department of Energy reservation located in southeastern Nye County, Nevada, about 65 miles (105 km) northwest of the city of Las Vegas.
Formerly known as the Nevada Proving Grounds, the site was established on 11 January 1951 for the testing of nuclear devices, covering approximately 1,360 square miles (3,500 km2) of desert and mountainous terrain. Nuclear testing at the Nevada Test Site began with a 1-kiloton-of-TNT (4.2 TJ) bomb dropped on Frenchman Flat on 27 January 1951. Many of the iconic images of the nuclear era come from the NTS.
During the 1950s, the mushroom clouds from the 100 atmospheric tests could be seen for almost 100 mi (160 km). The city of Las Vegas experienced noticeable seismic effects, and the distant mushroom clouds, which could be seen from the downtown hotels, became tourist attractions. St. George, Utah, received the brunt of the fallout of above-ground nuclear testing in the Yucca Flats/Nevada Test Site. Winds routinely carried the fallout of these tests directly through St. George and southern Utah. Marked increases in cancers, such as leukemia, lymphoma, thyroid cancer, breast cancer, melanoma, bone cancer, brain tumors, and gastrointestinal tract cancers, were reported from the mid-1950s through 1980. The vast majority of nuclear tests, 828 in all, were underground.
From 1986 through 1994, two years after the United States put a hold on full-scale nuclear weapons testing, 536 anti-nuclear protests were held at the Nevada Test Site involving 37,488 participants and 15,740 arrests, according to government records.
Those arrested included the astronomer Carl Sagan and the actors Kris Kristofferson, Martin Sheen, and Robert Blake.
The Nevada Test Site contains 28 areas, 1,100 buildings, 400 miles (640 km) of paved roads, 300 miles of unpaved roads, ten heliports, and two airstrips.
The test site offers monthly public tours, often fully booked months in advance. Visitors are not allowed to bring in cameras, binoculars, or cell phones, nor are they permitted to pick up rocks for souvenirs.
While there are no longer any explosive tests of nuclear weapons at the site, there is still subcritical testing, used to determine the viability of the United States' aging nuclear arsenal. Additionally, the site is the location of the Area 5 Radioactive Waste Management Complex, which sorts and stores low-level radioactive waste that is not transuranic and has a half life not longer than 20 years. Bechtel Nevada Corporation (a joint venture of Lockheed Martin, Bechtel, and Johnson Controls) ran this complex until 2006. Several other companies won the bid for the contract since and combined to form a new company called National Security Technologies, LLC (a joint venture of Northrop Grumman, AECOM, CH2M Hill, and Nuclear Fuel Services). AECOM, known earlier as Holmes and Narver, held the Nevada Test Site contract for many years before Bechtel Nevada Corp. had it.
The Radiological/Nuclear WMD Incident Exercise Site (T-1), which replicates multiple terrorist radiological incidents with train, plane, automobile, truck, and helicopter props is located in Area 1, at the former site of tests EASY, SIMON, APPLE-2, and GALILEO.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nevada_Test_Site
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Text_of_Creative_Commons_...
Zoom view of Tigger near the heater this afternoon. Inside was about 27°C and she's wearing a tunic and harumaki but she is still cold and next to Mr. Heater. I think there is a problem with her thyroid, probably caused by her cancer...
A genetic mutation that triggers bladder cancer in dogs is identical to a mutation that is implicated in multiple human cancers. Dogs could serve as in vivo models for developing therapies for many human cancers, including aggressive skin cancer and cancer of the colon, rectum, ovary and thyroid. Credit: Darryl Leja, NHGRI.
The vet has diagnosed Monster as being hyperthyroid. He will take daily medication and hopefully this will end his dizzy spells. They think the over active thyroid was making his blood pressure low and causing these episodes. His heart ultrasound was fine, his heart looked very good, so no need to worry about damage there.
Day 2 of I-131 RAI treatment
i developed Grave's
Disease; no doubt from 3 consecutive years of intense sadness due to deaths in my family. Sadness makes you sick, people.... at least it made ME sick. I obviously couldn't handle it. I tried to get the disease in remission with environmental and dietary changes, but my antibody levels just kept rising as did my heart rate. This active person who was used to a normal resting heartrate of 60-65 now has a heart rate of 102 that wakes me up when i am sleeping. No way out. Needed treatment. The effects on my life have been debilitating. After the standard anti-thyroid medication treatment and 3 doctor's DEFINITIVE opinions over a period of a year , i reluctantly, and with great trepidation, gave in and took the pill. The Grave's probably began 3 years ago. I felt it but i just thought i was nervous. The mental impairment even made it difficult to perform my work duties. When i was diagnosed, i knew immediately in my mind that i want to move forward and leave the sadness behind. Hopefully in a few months my body will catch up and i will begin to live again.
i want to make clear that i am NOT around my cats---this was a brief moment out of my bedroom isolation. I cannot be near my cats for another 30 hours.
PLEASE no horror stories about radiation treatment..There is no turning back. I am changed forever. I know what might happen from the insidious effects of radiation over the long term, but i saw no way out. I have watched my health go down the tubes as the pounds dropped off of me. I needed an intervention. Thank you for understanding. Believe me it was my last resort. Now i have to accept my decision and move forward.
Good news I think. I just came back from my Vet. The medicine I so desperately need is available in a form that I can use. It has been a hard row to hoe because I refuse all attempts at liquid meds and pilling so far. Now I find that the med can be applied with a gel pen ( Prednisolone) and that will go a very long ways toward my becoming stable. Of course I will give mom a hard time as I will be having my thyroid meds in one ear and now this, in the other ear flap. However, mom will prevail and she WILL win this round.
xoxox
Teddy actually seemed to be enjoying the car ride today, until realizing that the destination was the vet's office. He needed bloodwork to check his T4 levels since being put on thyroid medication. No meows (not one!), no grumbles, hisses, bites or swats...such a good patient! Two shaved paws needed his cleanup when he got home, but directly afterwards, he was ready for lots of treats :)
This wonderful bush blooms right before a summer rain here in West Texas. I love seeing the flowers come out, but sometimes... sometimes it will put out blooms when it isn't going to rain. That's alright. It's a beautiful sight anyway ...
Purple = Domestic violence, religious tolerance, animal abuse, the victims of 9/11 (includes police and firefighters), pancreatic cancer, Chron's Disease and colitis,
cystic fibrosis, leimyosarcoma, macular degeneration, Sjogren's Syndrome, fibromyalgia, lupus, sarcoidosis, the homeless, Mucolipidoses, thyroid cancer, ADD,
ADHD, alzheimers, cancer survivor (this is a general color that anyone who has
survived cancer can wear), Pagan pride, Arnold Chiari Malformation, children left
unattended in cars, childhood or pediatric stroke.
I pray for cures and healing...
The Nevada National Security Site (NNSS), previously the Nevada Test Site (NTS), is a United States Department of Energy reservation located in southeastern Nye County, Nevada, about 65 miles (105 km) northwest of the city of Las Vegas.
Formerly known as the Nevada Proving Grounds, the site was established on 11 January 1951 for the testing of nuclear devices, covering approximately 1,360 square miles (3,500 km2) of desert and mountainous terrain. Nuclear testing at the Nevada Test Site began with a 1-kiloton-of-TNT (4.2 TJ) bomb dropped on Frenchman Flat on 27 January 1951. Many of the iconic images of the nuclear era come from the NTS.
During the 1950s, the mushroom clouds from the 100 atmospheric tests could be seen for almost 100 mi (160 km). The city of Las Vegas experienced noticeable seismic effects, and the distant mushroom clouds, which could be seen from the downtown hotels, became tourist attractions. St. George, Utah, received the brunt of the fallout of above-ground nuclear testing in the Yucca Flats/Nevada Test Site. Winds routinely carried the fallout of these tests directly through St. George and southern Utah. Marked increases in cancers, such as leukemia, lymphoma, thyroid cancer, breast cancer, melanoma, bone cancer, brain tumors, and gastrointestinal tract cancers, were reported from the mid-1950s through 1980. The vast majority of nuclear tests, 828 in all, were underground.
From 1986 through 1994, two years after the United States put a hold on full-scale nuclear weapons testing, 536 anti-nuclear protests were held at the Nevada Test Site involving 37,488 participants and 15,740 arrests, according to government records.
Those arrested included the astronomer Carl Sagan and the actors Kris Kristofferson, Martin Sheen, and Robert Blake.
The Nevada Test Site contains 28 areas, 1,100 buildings, 400 miles (640 km) of paved roads, 300 miles of unpaved roads, ten heliports, and two airstrips.
The test site offers monthly public tours, often fully booked months in advance. Visitors are not allowed to bring in cameras, binoculars, or cell phones, nor are they permitted to pick up rocks for souvenirs.
While there are no longer any explosive tests of nuclear weapons at the site, there is still subcritical testing, used to determine the viability of the United States' aging nuclear arsenal. Additionally, the site is the location of the Area 5 Radioactive Waste Management Complex, which sorts and stores low-level radioactive waste that is not transuranic and has a half life not longer than 20 years. Bechtel Nevada Corporation (a joint venture of Lockheed Martin, Bechtel, and Johnson Controls) ran this complex until 2006. Several other companies won the bid for the contract since and combined to form a new company called National Security Technologies, LLC (a joint venture of Northrop Grumman, AECOM, CH2M Hill, and Nuclear Fuel Services). AECOM, known earlier as Holmes and Narver, held the Nevada Test Site contract for many years before Bechtel Nevada Corp. had it.
The Radiological/Nuclear WMD Incident Exercise Site (T-1), which replicates multiple terrorist radiological incidents with train, plane, automobile, truck, and helicopter props is located in Area 1, at the former site of tests EASY, SIMON, APPLE-2, and GALILEO.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nevada_Test_Site
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Text_of_Creative_Commons_...
“There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of gun-related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to shoot someone just to see the numbers move.” - David Letterman
Featured on shuttercrack.com
Explored: #49 on 11th November.
Argent has a bad thyroid which means she has trouble controlling her body temperature at times. So, we make sure she is warm. She is enjoying a warming disc on the bed, not too far from the heat from the bedroom heater.
Pediment-shaped gold diadem, part of the Madytos Jewelry.
This group of jewelry is said to have come from a tomb at Madytos on the European side of the Hellespont, in the Thracian Chersonesos. The gold diadem is richly worked in repoussé with an elaborate floral pattern. Dionysos, the god of wine, and his wife, Ariadne, sit in the center; muses playing musical instruments perch among the vines and along the sides. The tiny figure of a muse playing a lyre also appears just above the crescent form on each of the boat-shaped earrings. The seed-like pendants of the earrings are identical to those on the elaborate necklace.
Amazing the detail on such a small scale, from the bead and egg and dart borders, to the little birds beneath the central characters.
Greek, ca. 330-300 BCE.
Met Museum, New York (06.1217.1)
Our oldest cat Abby has gone to kitty heaven. She had been unwell for quite a long time so I had booked her into the vet for a consultation. The news was not good. She had thyroid problems, had difficulty walking and squatting down and old age had finally caught up with her. The vet advised that she could give her some pain relief but it would be only delaying the inevitable.
I made the heartbreaking decision to put her to sleep and I was holding her in my arms as she peacefully passed away around 12:30pm on Monday the 22nd of February 2016. She was just under sixteen years of age. Abby had been a good cat. I brought her home and buried her in the back yard opposite one of our cat cages so our other cats can look down on her grave. The above picture was taken on Tuesday the 30th of July, 2013.
January 24, 2024
Massage at lunch. Tommy should be a spokescat for Churu; he loves them so much. They also make giving him his nightly thyroid pill easy peasy. Just licks it right on down with the snack.
Thanks - explore May 23, 2007 #118
This photo was originally taken as part of my donation drive for my 2007 walk for the American Cancer Society Relay for Life. I am replacing my information here because the walk is over and the page I linked to is not currently taking donations (although the ACS can use your support all year long.
I reached the 5 year anniversary of my surgery to remove my thyroid and the cancer within during 2007.
I am also adding in my memories from the 2007 walk, which I had originally posted in the comments on this page.
American Cancer Society Relay for Life 2007- My Wrap Up
I did my portion of the relay at night. For most of the night they have stadium lights blazing, with everything lit up practically to daylight. I walk right after the Luminaria Ceremony where everybody gathers and lights candles and then takes a lap around the track en masse with candles lit. They turn out the lights for that, and leave them off for a stretch. When they do bring them back up, they come up slowly. It feels a bit like dawn breaking.
Anyhow, I checked in at my team tent and chatted with the people there for a bit. Then I started my walk alone because the friend who I was going to be walking with was running late. Everything was dark except for the Luminaria bags lining the path.
I made it all of 15 feet from the tent when I almost tripped over a body huddled in a ball on the ground. I swerved to avoid it, and as I got along side it I heard wailing. I paused and took a closer look. There was a girl about my daughter's age, on her knees, curled into a ball (I had mistaken it for a child tying their shoe at first). I knelt down and asked if she was okay, thinking she had perhaps twisted her ankle. The wailing got even more hysterical and she sobbed, "My mother is yelling at me!"
Well shit, not at all what I want to be in the middle of. I look around trying to spot said mother, because really, it would be best if meltdown girl were not left to sob in the middle of a darkened track.
"I miss him so much!" She wails to me. She looks up for just a moment and her eyes are puffy with huge dark circles under them. This is not brand new crying. Her face collapses back toward the ground and she continues to cry. "She doesn't even care."
"I'm sure she cares," I tell her. I have my hand on her shoulder, but am not sure what else to do with her. Touching strange children is not generally well looked upon in this society.
"It doesn't seem like she cares! She won't talk about him, she never talks about him! I miss him so much, and she just pretends like nothing has happened."
My heart is aching with what I am imagining of this family's life. "Is your mom here?" I am still looking around for somebody who looks connected.
"I don't know where she is." sob sob sob
I see this slightly older looking teen wandering toward us, looking around as if she has lost something. She has a cell phone out and her eyes are wet. Her eyes land on our little heap in the middle of the track and she questioningly says a girl's name. Sobbing girl looks up and explodes out of her ball and into this girl's arms. They both weep and I overhear "I just want to talk about him, but she always yells at me." as the older looking one leads her off to the side.
I got up and brushed the dirt from my knees and continued on my lap, eyes leaking.
I had pulled myself together by the time my friend joined me. We walked and talked, as the lights came up. I took some photos. A live band plays covers. Last year I walked to songs from The Beatles, this year to Pink Floyd's music.
I was able to raise over $1000. Thanks to everyone who was able to help. They won't have the final total for our relay for a while, as donations are still being turned in. A lot of people won't donate online. I'll post the total amount raised when they have those numbers.
strobist- alien bees ring flash, bare
My friend is a Cancer survivor. Before the shoot she said that she had this hat and wanted to take some pictures in it. We waited until the end of the shoot to try it out (didn't want to mess up her hair too much :) ). The rest of the shoot was very light and goofy. Lots of funny faces and big smiles.
That changed when she put the hat on. It very quickly got very serious and very emotional. It was very powerful for me as the photographer when I was taking the pictures, and I hope that translates well in the photo.
Original design hand embroidered thyroid on linen
Thyroid is: bullion knots and free form long and short stitch.
Blogged here: www.lotsofneatstuff.com/cristy/blog/bad-thyroid-embroidery
We need more thyroid art---like Roy the Thyroid plushie!
I can kind of relate ... my danged thyroid is out of whack yet again which is frustrating as all hell. Especially when I've been exercising regularly, eating well and such. Sigh! My doctor and I have adjusted my medication and I go back for more blood work in about 8 weeks. Cross yer fingers folks!
{Teddy style}
This was taken after Teddy’s vet visit Thursday, just a routine exam and blood test follow-up for his thyroid condition. He was so brave and so well behaved through all the poking and prodding. Reportedly, he objected to his ear cleaning the most (he tends to build up debris we can’t clean as well at home)…and when the poor guy came home, he had to endure hisses and grumbles from Ollie, who did not like the scent of the ear solution one bit. Things have returned to more normal here, but Teddy still seems wiped out from his unwanted adventure.
***{EXPLORED} highest position 483 on August 13, 2011***
Please don't use this image on websites, BLOGS or other media without my explicit permission.
© All rights reserved.
Pickles hasn't had a seizure in 2014. We're hoping that his thyroid is maintaining function with the aid of his prescription supplement.
Still life for a theme...
Ha! Using layers, no less. I haven't worked with graphics/photo software in many many years. This is actually how I got into the IT group as my last 15/20 years have been spent. I was darned good at desktop publishing at one time. In fact, I started my work life as a type setter and moved into newspaper layout. Lots of water has flown under the bridge since I could read a tape from a typesetting machine by looking at the dots that were punched out.
I hate having to take anything daily and I hate even more being supposed to not take it near mealtime. Two hours after and an hour before meals..... really I never go that long between eating!
ODC: What's in your medicine cabinet
Yesterday, feeling truly deprived of fun, having been off work for two days dealing with plumbing problems, I didn't think I'd have much of a chance to grab photos. It was a gloomy, and drizzly looking day, so I knew anything "big" was out of the question.
On my way home from making a bank deposit for work, (also not fun on your day off!) and picking up thyroid meds for Tigger, I drove down Magnolia Avenue on the way home. I glanced to the left at the little park that's nestled there in between homes, and decided on the spur of the moment to pull in and see what I could grab. It had been years since I took shots there, and I didn't really expect anything great, since the park is so tiny. I was pleasantly surprised!
Aside from the pretty overlook/ fishing areas, like the one in this photo, there were all kinds of photo opps that didn't seem to be ruined by a murky looking day. First, of course, was the wooden walkway and gazebo areas, but the best was the wildlife, which showed up as if on cue!
The first thing I noticed was the tangled, and very interesting spider webs along the dock, which looked like dirty, white, cotton candy, and were so strong that they had small twigs dangling in them! I was grateful not to see the spiders that made them, but curious as to what kind they were! Later on, I saw one of the most unusual spiders around, one that I'd only seen one other time. It looked like a crab, with a body that was huge in comparison to its short legs! I almost walked into its web as I poked by the trees along the edges of the pond, which was a reminder to me that while nature is beautiful, you still have to watch where you're going when viewing it, especially here in Florida!
I knew from experience that the far side of the pond was where herons sometimes hang out, so I made my way around there, taking some really great shots of the delicate flowers and plants along the bank. There was a small heron back there, and it was extremely wary and difficult to shoot! I kept trying, though, and got a few shots, mostly out of focus since the bird moved quickly to evade me.
As I walked around the back side of the pond, five White Ibises flew in! I managed to capture one pretty good in flight shot, and a few not so great flight and landing shots, but they were very cooperative on the ground, letting me get quite close, and so I managed to get great pics of them! One seemed to be an adult, while the others seemed younger and a little smaller, some still sporting their juvenile, brown feathers mixed in with the white. They followed the adult's lead as to whether to trust me or not.
Two squirrels were checking me out, too, and came very close. I could tell they were used to people feeding them, and had lost their fear of people. Next time I go, I will have to bring peanuts and bread for the birds and squirrels!
All in all, it was a great little shoot, and I captured close to 400 shots in no time at all! Of those, I liked over half, so I have lots to work on when I'm bored!
The title of this pic comes from one of the park's rules, which is that you can fish there, but must toss the fish back in after you catch it! I think that's a little cruel, myself, but I suppose it's better than killing them all! Apparently, it works well, since the only thing I didn't manage to capture for you was the really BIG fish that kept hurling itself in the air, probably trying to catch one of the dragonflies that were skimming the surface! The fish I saw must have been about a foot long, which is far bigger than I would have expected in such a small pond.
Unfortunately, the last inhabitant of Magnolia Park to "greet" me was a rather healthy looking mosquito, who hitchhiked a ride in my car, and was still there waiting for me this morning. Next time, OFF. I like the outdoors, but I don't like bugs very much! I've often thought what it would be like in a colder climate where there might not be as many mosquitoes, but many of my contacts who live as far north as Alaska, have mentioned the "state birds" that attacked en masse during shoots, so I don't think it's that bad, after all!
Hope you enjoy some of the upcoming pics. I was getting bored with beachy shots. Thanks again to Don Briggs for the terrific camera that handled the DOF so well! What a huge difference in quality that maes! If you see the last pics I took at this place, you'll see what I mean. Many of these were good enough to post SOOC, but you know, that wouldn't be ME! I love my Canon 40D!
We had to take Jake back to his regular vet yesterday afternoon.
His breathing was rapid >35/min and he was listless. Not his usual "Jake" sell.
Dr W wanted to see him in view of the echocardiogram findings last week. (moderate cardiac hypertrophy.)
Dr W said the echo findings was "NOT good news."
He did 2 chest X-rays of Jake's lungs but did not see any fluid build-up or pulmonary edema.
Dr W contacted the cardiologist specialist and found out Jake's thyroid was normal. So that is not the cause of his heart problems. (...Unfortunately..... as the thyroid condition could be treated by medication.) Also not due to high blood pressure as his BP was normal.
So Jake's condition is due to genetic causes.
There is no real treatment for the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Only supportive measures used to treat the symptoms.
For now Jake will start on an blood thinner called PLAVIX, (Like Aspirin) to prevent any stroke or blood clots from his malfunctioning heart. (1/4 tab a day)
Today Dec 4th I came home from night shift and Jake ate well, but still breathing rapidly.. NOT panting...NOT purring. He is lying next to me on my bed.
Please pray for my special boy. I hope he can still have many good days ahead and bounce back, but I will not let him suffer.
One day at a time I guess.
Thank you all.
This illustrative cell group shows cardinal features of papillary carcinoma: nuclear grooves and pseudoinclusion.
Scrape cytology from cut surface of tumor in thyroidectomy specimen, rapid H&E, 1000X.
"The best camera is the one that's with you" - became my motto this week, namely because my brain fog got the better of me (yay thyroid!). It is safe to say in the future I will check I actually packed my camera body...(I ended up going to London, a trip that this time did not involve a hospital trip but rather a trip entirely for fun and the intention to go shooting) with all my lenses I needed but not my trusty EM-5 as I left it at home (doh!), which basically meant I was carrying dead weight in the form of lenses with me. I'm thankful that the tech available these days meant I had a camera on hand albeit within my phone. Incidentally after visiting the Tate Modern's Shape of Light exhibition and the Tanks - No Ghost Just a Shell and Joan Jonas Reanimation installation (latter pictured ft. me) I felt a bit naked without a actual camera and ended up investing in a Holga 120N and two rolls of 120 film - Rollei Crossbird and Fomapan 200 from the Photographer's Gallery to use during the rest of the day.
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"I was feeling tired all the time. I knew something wasn’t quite right. I put it down to a busy lifestyle. It was the run up to Christmas. There were lots of social occasions. It was around that time I found a lump in my neck. My first reaction was, ‘I’m sure it’ll be nothing’. I told myself I’d go get it checked out in the New Year, which I did. They started tests and I had a biopsy. It was a stressful and anxious few weeks. The longer it went on the more I became convinced there was something seriously wrong. They eventually diagnosed me with thyroid cancer. Surgery was the only one real option for me as it had spread. The night before I had a bad anxiety dream about not being able to speak. It was a very scary and lonely time.
In some ways, recovery was the hardest part for me. I went from being an active, healthy person to feeling weak, tired and incapacitated. I couldn’t walk around or fend for myself. My life revolved around medication. They made me feel more tired, nauseous, and fed up. Swallowing pills was the last thing I wanted to do. But I was determined to fight it and get back to my old self.
When something like cancer comes into your life, it puts everything into perspective. Especially what you want in life. Not long after my treatment I started a new job. It felt like the start of a new chapter. And even though my cancer chapter is still ongoing, I don't let it define me. I've learnt a lot from my situation. I want to help others who may be going through the same things I did. And I'm determined to raise awareness. Thyroid cancer is still fairly unknown. There aren’t many sources of information out there. And also highlighting young adults in the cancer world. The media portrays cancer in two ways: elderly people and children. There's not much in-between. That's something which I'm passionate about and trying to change. I feel hopeful that one day things will settle down and I can look forward to life after cancer.”
I have not been on here in over a year, but I think it's time to finally let all who knew Gus, know what happened after my last post discussing him.
As some of you knew, Gus wasn't doing well and I had gotten a job at a veterinary clinic, where I was taking him to be checked out. Turns out his thyroid level was all messed up, we never could figure out the right dosage for him; it seemed to always change. But still, I have had Gus with me since I was 5 years old, and I just sensed that something was off. Back in March, of this year, a tumor started growing on Gus's toe that one of our vets said "didn't look good." So how did my 13 year old boy handle such a thing? He went through surgery, and had his toe amputated. He was such a trooper. Just one day after surgery, he was walking on his own. Months went by, I declined sending it in for a biopsy due to him seeming MUCH better with walking after the surgery.
So, does anyone remember the German Shepherd I rescued named Kimba? July 3rd of this year, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. My heart was broken when I looked at those x-rays and saw those four tumors growing on her lungs. She is currently going through treatment and is doing well, but slowly declining in health.
Well, I guess that just wasn't enough for our family.
8 days after we discovered the news on Kimba, I took Gus in because his appetite was slowly decreasing (this had been going on for a month, he went from eating dry food to soft food. He turned 14 on May 3rd, so I assumed he was just eating soft food in small portions due to his teeth hurting or something). But then he started gagging after eating. So thinking something was wrong inside his mouth, I took him to work with me to have the vet look at his teeth, and to check his blood work again just in case. I am still learning about certain symptoms, or maybe then I was in denial, I am still not sure. When I described what he was doing, the vet insisted we do x-rays on his stomach, and I told her to do whatever she needed to do.
I remember that day, when I went into the room to talk to the vet, how I felt cold so suddenly and goose bumps formed on my arms when all my co-workers quickly cleared the room so that it was just the vet and I. I remember how dizzy I felt, how broken I felt inside before anything was spoken of.
I knew.
I knew in that moment, before she said a word, before she showed me anything.
His WBC was so high, and x-rays showed that his entire stomach was made of cancer. Not one spec in his tummy was left untouched. I asked "How long?" and didn't make a sound when she said "a few days, maybe a week. I'm so sorry Madison."
Gus went on for another two weeks. He ate anything he wanted, whenever he wanted it. When he started getting weak, I decided to take him to the beach one morning in hopes of lifting his spirit. His bones ached, he was gasping for breath when we finally approached the water, and for a good ten minutes he just sat and looked out at the ocean. He looked so noble, so wise. He suddenly stood up, and rushed towards the water. I rushed after him, knowing he was not strong enough to swim, and when I was trying to pull him back, he fought so hard that both of us tumbled into the water. It was SO cold. So cold that I gasped and yelled "Gus, are you kidding me!!' But you should have seen the look in his eyes, the way he let the water hold up his weight, and the way he leaned his head against my chest so he wouldn't go under. I couldn't help it. I laughed the happiest, most care free laugh I have ever laughed in my entire life. I just threw my head back and laughed and took in that moment. His body had betrayed him, it was slowly slipping him away, and the waves brought him back to me.
He never saw the ocean again.
I remember the way he stopped and looked back when we were walking back to the pier.
It's like he knew that this was it.
He almost seemed sad to say goodbye to it.
He told me when it was time.
I woke up on the morning of July 22nd, and he would not stand until I lifted him up and walked him outside. He would not eat, he would not drink. Nothing I said or did would get him to wag his tail.
I took him to work with me, went to find his vet when she got to work, and mumbled "I think it's..." before my eyes started to sting. She nodded, went to listen to his heart, and said "He's ready. He's tired." He spent the rest of the morning with me behind my work desk. He seemed content to be with me, but still would not wag his tail.
At lunch, my manager let me leave for 2 hours, and I took him home so that my parents could have him for a few more hours. We did his paw print, and took him to the field one last time (pictured above), just like we did for his sister, Honey, on her last day. The drive back to work was the hardest. I knew I would see him in just a few hours when my parents brought him back in, but the drive back to work was when it hit me, that the drive from my job to my house on my lunch break was the last car ride I would share with my best friend.
When it was time, and my parents pulled up with him, one of my co workers went out and had to carry him in because he was finally too weak to walk, he wouldn't even lift his head to me.
I paced in the hallway for a few minutes before deciding I was ready to face it. When I walked in the room, my parents were sitting on the bench crying, and Gus was on a big cozy blanket on the floor. I walked around the counter and said "Hey old man," and what I'm about to explain is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
When he heard my voice, without hesitation, he lifted his head and looked up at me. For a split second, his face looked like a puppy again, and for the first time that day, he lightly thumped his tail against the floor. That's when I knew that this was the right thing to do.
I knew that it was his way of thanking me for letting him go.
I laid on the floor with him, and pressed my forehead against his. For the first time since I found out he was dying, I finally started to cry.
But I smiled too.
I was literally sobbing and smiling at the same time, telling him "you did so good" and "you're going to be with your sister again" and "I love you so much."
It was truly the most peaceful goodbye I ever shared with someone.
I was so happy for him. He was finally free.
And you know what? Even though he could no longer drink or eat, he shared a beer with my dad before they brought him in. He may have not had a good last meal, but he sure as hell had a good last drink.
And we had each other.
And that right there was enough for the both of us.
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Located in Plainview, New York, One Integrative Wellness is Long Island’s leading Functional Medicine solution provider for chronic health conditions such as thyroidism, diabetes and chronic pain. By partnering with our patients to create customized treatment plans that address weight loss and nutrition, we bolster the body’s natural ability to heal and achieve optimum health. Unlike other healthcare providers, we offer integrated treatment plans tailored to each patient’s unique genetic and lifestyle needs, because one-size-fits-all healthcare solutions are ineffective and counterproductive to treating chronic illness.
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100 Manetto Hill Rd, #307
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