Part of getting through life is accepting, and dealing with, our weaknesses. Which doesn't mean they aren't still a pain in the butt.

Me, I'm over-sensitive to all kinds of sensory input - and input affecting my sensors. For instance, even in August in our constant ocean breezes, I daren't go outside without my ears covered.

This is, of course, a huuuge pain. When everyone else is out in shorts and bathing suits, I'm sweating with a big fleecy band around my head. It sucks, but the alternative (excruciating ear aches) sucks a whole lot worse.

I'm also overly sensitive to noise. And bright light. Especially bright flashing light that hits my eyes unexpectedly. So... imagine how much fun I am as a companion at a rawk show. Normally I take along ear plugs. Last night I forgot.

I guess I was lulled into complacency by the fact that the show was at a theatre. A play house. A place I last attended in my teens, when I saw some Shakespearean production there. So yeah... I went in plugless. And immediately regretted it. Still... I was up for enjoying myself... until the %$(*&$%(&ing light show started.

I can't imagine whose idea it was to flash big spotlights directly into the audience's eyes repeatedly throughout the night. Probably the same wise person who decided a super-bright sign behind the band... illuminated by 10,000 1,000 watt bulbs... was also a very good thing to flash repeatedly in the audience's eyes.

What really amazed me was that no one else seemed bothered. Whereas I was in several sorts of agony all night.

The bright flashing lights. Fuck, man. I thought I was gonna have a seizure or something. I ended up spending most of the night doubled over with my head in my lap, eyes closed, hands clamped over my face. Every time I tried to enjoy actually watching the band... zappo! Unexpected blasts of super-bright white light set off pinball explosions in my brain.

So today is pretty much a write-off. Migraine city, man.

And I HATE HATE HATE that my body is so delicate.

I'm from sturdy peasant stock. Why am I so fragile? Why do things that normal people take in stride disable me?

Sorry for the whining self-pity. Kee-rist. At least I know, without a doubt, that I am now too old for rawk shows. Goodbye youth. Your time has come and gone. From now on I'll just satisfy myself by listening to records at home.

I used to live in the house on the right when I was very young. It was haunted... that or I was having a bad reaction to the Phenobarbital I was given for my seizures.

Male kingfisher.

It is the male who takes care of feeding the chicks.

Passionflower was used traditionally in the Americas and later in Europe as a calming herb for anxiety, insomnia, seizures, and hysteria. It is still used today to treat anxiety and insomnia. I am excluded:-)

Have a wonderful week ahead.

This is my Poppy who is twelve and half, she had a seizure, it was very frightening, although I used to work with children who often had seizures, I had no idea what to do :(

Hopefully it's a one off and she doesn't have epilepsy or a brain tumor, sadly both are a possibility at this stage, my vet said we just need to wait and see now she is in a couple of weeks, so I am very worried at the moment, I know I am a bit silly, when it comes to my pets :(

Thank you for taking the time to stop by, your comments or criticism is very much appreciated, take care,stay safe and have a lovely evening !!

Had a bit of bad gear acquisition syndrome seizure and ended up switching my trusty Olympus E-m1 to the mk2. Well it made me to wake up at 2 o'clock in the night so maybe there was some point in switching ... ;-)

My best friend and companion of 10 years left me on saturday. Holly suffered from seizures and failed to make it out this time. I am completely lost and broken without her. I spent everyday with her for 10 years training and loving her. My step father got her for me as a gift and since then i have tried my best to show her kindness and love and give her the best possible life i could. There is more i wish i could have done and gave her but i think we all think like that when a loved one passes, right?

My step father passed last may and i am just hoping that she will be with him somewhere safe and i truly wish i will see them both one day.

Holly was full of life, love, and had such a kind soul. She instantly put a smile on my face and picked me up whenever i was feeling down. I would often go lay with her and rest my head on her chest to listen to her heart beat when i had anxiety attacks. It was calming and like the OA said "that is what you sound like". It wasn't just a heartbeat. It was her sound. She was a big reason for me to get up in a morning to see her waiting at the bottom of the stairs full of excitement and joy.

She will forever have my love and the most special place in my heart. Rest in peace my angel ♥

I'm sharing this picture of Holly. This is one of my favourites.

I would like to thank everyone on plurk for all their support and kind messages. You don't expect people to take time out of their day to send you lovely messages and let you know that they are there for you like those guys did. It warms my heart and only makes me want to spread that kind of love and support in the world ♥.

Chai came to us through rescue 7 years ago at 6 years old. his owner wanted him put down because he had seizures.

they were bad seizures. I know because after working in special ed for 20 years I've seen thousands and thousands of them. there were times when I had to tackle him to keep him from hurting himself.

luckily we had a persistent vet who worked on his meds and got him, fingers crossed, seizure free.

when Jonesthebasenji our other bed partner died Chai went into a funk. it took us almost 2 years to get Chai eating regular meals again.

But, he would only eat upstairs in his safe place, on our bed. sometimes now he'll eat dinner downstairs with the others with his bowl on my lap.

and sometimes he'll only eat in bed.

this is this morning. and he licked his bowl clean.

'roid week, autumn 2021, day 5 photo 1.

Diana Instant

chai the smooth saluki is on his seizure cycle again as we scramble to work with his meds.

the photos above are today, while he twitches and tries to rest.

he's been seizing during the days since monday, and then we faced last night.

I read until 1 am-ish, just got to sleep and chai did a seizing arabesque over the top of me as I grabbed for him and as he flung into the table next to me dumping my nightly lemonade.

luckily I keep it in a flip top coffee cup. he jammed in between the table and bed and as I tried to hold him down, we both were mired in sticky lemonade.

I tried to wash him off and the floor but there are stickies that still remain.

step stick. step stick. step stick.

the night moves on......no seizing, just vomiting until 6 am when, again I just got to sleep, and he seized again. I was able to wrap him in blanket and hold him still so no falls, but he managed to soak the bed.

all bedding being washed today and as I speak.

I am a walking zombie; chai is still twitchy. and we face the night again together.

jones is generally unruffled, he just wants under his covers, but schubert gets scared at the confusion and noise.

he finally conked out on the couch.

life with dogs.

We had to say goodbye to Dessa Friday night after she had been enduring seizures over the past few weeks. We brought her in as a rescue ten years ago, to provide her older sister, Janie Sparkles, with a playmate. Dessa was a super loving dog, always very affectionate, and of course Janie wanted nothing to do with her. Eventually Janie warmed up to her. Dessa had been the center of the world since Janie died a few years back. The house seems really empty this morning. It'll take a long time to not miss her.

City construction.

Seizure

“A non-violent revolution is not a program of seizure of power. It is a program of transformation of relationships, ending in a peaceful transfer of power.”

Mahatma Gandhi

In the memory of the victims of Rabaa Massacre in Egypt on 14 August 2013

www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2015/08/egypt-blood-death-...

www.hrw.org/video-photos/interactive/2014/08/11/rabaa-map...

www.hrw.org/news/2014/08/12/egypts-tiananmen

www.hrw.org/news/2015/11/06/testimony-sarah-leah-whitson-...

DSCN6089-001

He had an 'episode' late Thursday night. Not really a seizure but he cried then his legs gave out under him and he was vacant but conscious for about 4 minutes. We called the emergency vet who advised us to keep him calm overnight and see his vet in the morning which we did. He's being referred to a neurologist for an MRI scan ❤️

Zia suffers from seizures. We often wonder if this is why she ended up in the city pound but will never know for sure. We decided against medication as the side effects are not good. Fortunately these episodes, once frequent, are now less and far between.

She will come to us at the onset of a seizure to be held until it passes. Her seizures usually lasts around 2 to 5 minutes and she always remains conscious. Afterwards she just wants to lay quiet and watch what's going on outside. Thankfully this morning her seizure only lasted for a few minutes but we cuddled for 15 minutes just to be sure. She soon got back to her happy go lucky self after a walk around the garden.

While a precise UK-wide figure isn't available, police seized over 120,000 vehicles for no insurance in 2023 according to the Motor Insurers' Bureau.

How it works:

ANPR cameras:

Police use Automatic Number Plate Recognition (ANPR) cameras to scan vehicle licence plates.

MID check:

The system checks the scanned number plate against the Motor Insurance Database (MID) to see if the vehicle is insured.

Roadside action:

If a vehicle appears uninsured, officers can stop the driver and seize the vehicle at the roadside.

Consequences for uninsured drivers:

Vehicle seizure: The vehicle can be impounded by police.

Fixed penalty notice: A £300 fine may be issued.

Points on license: Six points can be added to the driver's licence.

Court appearance: Drivers may face a court appearance.

Unlimited fine: A court can impose an unlimited fine.

Driving ban: A ban from driving can be imposed.

Wellington, Somerset, UK.

The days plans come to an abrupt halt. That guttural moan we have come to recognise with an oncoming seizure screams out. Our son is gripped by another seizure, his second today. First, awakening him from his sleep and now contorted into terrible shapes alongside me. I fear his neck may break as his head is swung so far over his shoulder. I cradle him, ignoring the flaying arms and legs that hit me.

This was a bad fit. I gradually lift him off the couch and lower him onto the floor putting him in the recovery position, checking his mouth is clear and having my fingers bitten in the process. As he lays there shaking violently, I lay with him, trying to bring him comfort and talking to him all the time.

I count seven minutes before he shows any signs of relaxing. He eventually looks at me with eyes so bloodshot they look like they are bleeding. He doesn’t see me even though he is looking but he says, in a strangely coherent string of words, “I can’t do this anymore. Make it stop”. I know not what else to do, but to be there and protect him, and to comfort him.

Sometimes there is nothing else to do, but to pray. I pray that our Lord would take something of me and allow our son to be free from this endless nightmare he suffers …

It takes three hours for him to become relaxed again. It will take the rest of the day, maybe longer for him to return to how he was before todays seizures. I fear that before he fully recovers, as is frequently the case, he will succumb to more, and the cycle starts again …

I often read from other Epilepsy support groups, ‘You are a Warrior’ ‘Do not let Epilepsy define you’ ‘Live your life, not that which Epilepsy dictates’ … All well-meaning words and sentiments, but our son suffers so much, so frequently and no matter how much we do not want him to be defined by this condition, we do have to consider its impact first, and then live in whatever time is left.

Under the cover of night, Eurasian forces move through an industrial area of Pristina. The target: a LORO data centre believed to contain data drives taken in the arrest of multiple Eurasian ambassadors during a meeting in Copenhagen. While the Nordic oil fields had been of prior interest, the seized data contained developing information on large reserves hidden along the Northern coast of Libya.

We had a bit of a fright last night, a phone call at 9pm from my son-in-law say that my one year old grandson was rush to hospital in the evening because he had a seizure. We knew he had a fever as he was collected from nursery early by my daughter but during the evening he had a rapid temperature rise and had a febrile seizure which lasted several minutes by which times they had called 999 and he was taken to hospital. Febrile seizure, I’ve never heard of it, most parent haven’t, but effects 1 in 20 babies under 18 months old. Now this was scary shit for the parents, my daughter thought see was losing him, such trauma is unbelievable. For the grandparents 250 miles away is was no fun either we felt useless. The good news is they came home from hospital last night and little Sonny is looking ok today, but it’s going to take longer for the poor parents to recover. What has shocked me is how common this is and most parents who do learn about it find out the hard way! Anyway back to the photos, a tree in a woods this January.

.....sits and watches while amongst the chaos.

and occasionally joins in.

so, today we did our once/week grocery shopping in my truck because leon's car's air conditioning went out. we don't use the air, but it can't be bypassed in his model. expensive to fix.

schubert went in the jump seat after it was layered with plush throws. he didn't care much for the cramped quarters, but we worry about another big seizure.

while we were gone, boo ate my favorite weed/dirt wreath.

there was pieces of dried weeds and dirt all over the entry hall and the front room. I salvaged half of it and put it outside.

I cleaned the area yesterday, and re-cleaned it today.

the spray thing on the sink went out so leon worked on it. when I came home and turned on the water to wash my hands, I got a nice ice cold spray into the midsection. I screamed.

leon went to the plumbing store to get new parts for the sprayer, and fixed it.

I have bruises all over my feet from lifting schubert onto couches and beds. he uses my feet for purchase while scrambling.

I've something wrong with my left lower eyelid.

leon and I are stressed. I told him that I thought since we were old we should be able to roll with all this. he said we rolled past coping.

sigh...

but....we're all alive, so far, and able to love each other.

the geese are flying overhead and we love the sights and sounds of them.

we are not sitting on the east coast waiting for a hurricane to hit.

schubert is hanging in.

I told leon tonight that maybe schubert and I need to get a little drunk each night.

{people on the southeast coast of the US take care.]

Yesterday I had a very ruff day at work. When I came in one of my workers informed me that one of our Patients went into a seizure so I rushed to his side. As per his chart the Family didn't wish to have him recuscitated or sent to the hospital so I kept monitoring him since the Doctors said there is nothing more they can do because he wouldn't survive the operation that would be needed to help him. But after the seizure still didn't end after a full hour I knew something is not right and so I called the Family to inform them about his condition. The wife was very distressed and started crying and arrived an hour later at our facility. It just broke my heart seeing her rush with her walker into the facility literately running to his bedside, grabbing his hand and kissing him from top to bottom. Then she pulled out a little bottle looked at me and asked me if I know what holy water is and she started dripping it over his head and just pleading to Jesus:"Jesus please safe him, Jesus please safe him, Jesus please safe him"!! It just broke my heart!! I have already assisted with a lot of deaths and have seen it all but this really got to me. She stayed by his side all night long and was holding his hand tightly, he knew she was there. You could just feel the love in the room. Unfortunately he didn't make it and passed the following morning at 7:15am. But it just made me think about how pointless sometimes fights with your loved once are and that you should never go to bed if you are still angry at each other. What would she give just to be held one more time by his arms, or to be kissed or to have talked to him one last time!!! Is it really that bad that he didn't do something or she did something? Does it really matter, would it really matter if you would know that this is your last day with that Person!?

I hope he is in a better place now and is looking down on his wife in peace!!!

Please go tell all your loved once how much you love them!!!!!

9 seizures in 4 days. we're hoping for a big 0 today.

our lives.

When the time is ripe for certain things,

these things appear in different places in the manner

of blossoms coming to light in the early spring.

The pears and plums are blooming, appleblossom will follow .

Maybe and Qorbie loves to eat the pears from the trees...I wonder if they know that the blossoms are the beginning of their most favourest fruit :-)

Maybe was looking at a bird while she was sitting on the bench.

I like the white brugmansia flowers very much, they smell so good in the evening.

*EXPLORED* Muchas gracias! :-* Two days in a row...this will never happen again...:p

This is probably the coolest thing I've ever done. Actually, inspired by a bumper sticker I saw on Facebook the other day (YES, I was wicked bored), which was just the main hands grabbing the iris. Naturally, I had to put an extra spin on it. :-D

Yes, my eyeball really is that veiny.

No, my eye isn't really that blue. I had to saturate it a bit. :(

P.S. This weekend is going to rock hard.

(...)Well, you're the grand one

Have you noticed?

When you walk in all the fairy boys are very nervous

Well, my starship doesn't want me

And neither does his world

I'm glad I caught you on my view screen, sailor

Shudder to Think - Hot One (OST Velvet Goldmine)

A recent surge in seizures has caught me completely off guard. I really thought I was making progress with my physical health despite a lack of on-going support. I have been focused on renovating my garden, training bonkers pups, loving an abused kitten and still fighting for my son's needs to be met. Am I doing something wrong?

Epilepsy - I an seizure prone most likely because of some scaring from birth within this area of the brain: The Hippocampus. I had a number of high-resolution MRIs done at NYU.

I had a wonderful German Shepard/BorderCollie/Sure? cross named "Winnie" in Real Life...I say "had" because she passed away on Saturday, February 1st...

She had a seizure Friday night which was known to happen with her, but it didn't stop and got worse through the night. All throughout, there was a bad blizzard blowing outside which didn't help things at all. My other dog Jester and I stayed with her all night, comforting her as her body shook and she stayed so confused..

I didn't sleep a wink so I could call the vet when they opened.

Something was very wrong with my little girl...

Sadly, a rain tumour was what was wrong and it wasn't going to get better...so Jester and I were with her when she crossed over. She needed the confusion to stop and the pain.

Winnie had saved my life many times over 10 years and loved Jester and I honestly and truly as we did her...

I miss her very, very much as does Jester. She helped him overcome past trauma so much when I took him in. I've never seen a stronger pair bond...

Jester and I are having to adapt to a rather large hole in our lives where the love of Winnie was. We're trying our best, but we both still grieve very much. We will for some time...

In Second Life, Winnie is there still..also still purple and still painted like a Day of the Dead character - ironic now. She enjoyed being purple though tbh...

She will roam the beach in front of my SL home forever with Jester and play play play by the water's edge as she loved to do in Real Life.

This photo I took a few years ago of her and I at sunset in Second Life. The look of her here matched how she was in real life - looking at you with love and caring always. Intelligence and imagination always working with her.

It is one of the photos the Flickr servers "ate" for unknown reasons that Flickr found again for me with 123 others, but all their stories, their journaling...gone...

Now I will use it as a fitting photo of Winifred and I on the beach just being together like we were in Real Life.

I love you very much Winnie wherever you are now. I hope Dad and Auntie have found you. I know they loved you dearly too.

Take care Little Girl..

- With all the love and Walks

Mom...xoxo

Roger Hiorns, Seizure.

abandoned brutalist flat in london sealed and filled with copper sulphate, drained then opened to reveal blue crystals.

13/365. because this is what i'm focused on 110% right now.

We took her to the vet for "air licking" which is a psuedo type of seizure. Well they took blood from the underside part of her neck for like 5 bloods tests & her neck was all gross with clumps of dried blood. Then when they clipped her nails they cut one of her pads so she needed the bandage. And she gas neck spurs so from her fighting her neck is hurting her now. Plus we have to wait days for the test results to see if this is seizure related & her doses need to be adjusted or if it's caused by "something else" like tumors or something. So needless to say I'm a nervous wreck on the verge of a panic attack.

i normally really like our vet but today it just seemed there was no compassion at all. even the girl at the front desk said it looked like a vampire got hold of her!

ETA-after a few minutes she figured out how to walk with the bandage. we only had to leave it on for an hour or two. she ate a ton of food, drank water then wanted outside :) we took off the bandage & though it's not bleeding anymore, the cut to her bad looks pretty bad. they put the glue on it, so hopefully that's the end of it. and i gave her a dose of pain med. poor baby!

*Working Towards a Better World

Here is a link telling you about these wonderful dogs who most definitely are our best friends:

Assistance Dogs International : Service Dogs

www.assistancedogsinternational.org/about-us/types-of-ass...

There are infinite duties these dogs serve from

. Mobility – Pick up items, pull wheelchair, open & close doors, assist in balance.

. Hearing – Alerts handler to specific sounds and take handler to them.

. PTSD – Assist in keeping a person grounded and trained to alert when mental state changes.

. Seizure Prediction – Train pets to be service dogs that already naturally detect handlers seizures and alert them before they occur. (very rare)

. Seizure Response – Train a dog to respond to a seizure while it occurs by holding the handler down, getting help or barking to attract attention.

. Medical Alert – Train dogs for invisible conditions and to alert the handler.

. Diabetic Alert – Train dogs to detect high or low blood sugar levels and alert handler.

. Emotional Support Animal (ESA) – Train basic obedience of pet dogs for therapeutic use in housing.

. Blind - for the blind and the visually impaired.

. Therapy - who help patients in hospitals.

Thank you for your kind visit. Have a wonderful and beautiful day! xo💜💜

One from the other day - just caught him coming into view.

My brother spent the night in ICU due to having continuing seizures. I spoke to him this morning and he sounded okay, although still a little groggy. I don't know what the future holds for him, especially if his broken leg doesn't heal as he has difficulty getting around already with his balance problems.

Yorkshire Sculpture Park visit.

Friday 2nd September 2016.

Passionflower was used traditionally in the Americas and later in Europe as a calming herb for anxiety, insomnia, seizures, and hysteria. It is still used today to treat anxiety and insomnia. I am excluded:-)

Happy Sunday!

Upon the seizure of power in Uganda, Idi Admin decided to africanize the country by expulsion of 580,000 the Indian businessmen. Afterwards, the economy descended into chaos.

Size: 12x12 inches

Paintings for sale: www.shawnshawn.co/store/p219/Insane_Sanitation_of_African...

Newsletter: www.shawnshawn.co/Site/Contact.html

Art Code: AA03181

Art of the Real

Upon the seizure of power in Uganda, Idi Admin decided to africanize the country by expulsion of 580,000 the Indian businessmen. Afterwards, the economy descended into chaos.

Size: 12x12 inches

Paintings for sale: www.shawnshawn.co/store/p217/Insane-Sanititation-of-Afric...

Newsletter: www.shawnshawn.co/Site/Contact.html

Art Code: AA03184

Art of the Real

My poor kitty Sue has been having horrible violent seizes and I don't know why. I took him to the vet but being unemployed over 8 months now I couldn't afford all the blood work I needed to do to try to figure out what is wrong with him. So my vet gave me valium for Sue. Poor little guy is such a mess on it but worse when he isn't. He's asleep on my lap right now having one of his better days.

Crystals of copper sulphate (CuSO4), shot at Roger Hiorns' art piece "Seizure".

Seizure involved the hermetical-sealing of a condemned flat in Elephant & Castle, London. The flat was then filled with 75,000 litres of a hot super-saturated copper sulphate solution. This was then allowed to cool for over a month. Then the remaining solution was drained, leaving behind walls covered in shards of blue crystals. Both ephemeral and threatening, it was a beautiful alien conversion of a formerly familiar environment. The whole flat has since been moved to Yorkshire Sculpture Park.

Taken with a Nikon D40, fitted with a Tamron 70-300mm F4/5.6 DI LD (Nikon AFS) lens, and processed in GIMP and Photoscape.

More of my photos can be found here.

On black

No worries shes fine ,both kids have had febrile seizures and have been plugged into this EKG system and both have tested normal.A febrile seizure is one that happens with a high fever and turns them blue and freezes their bodies.Gracies had fewer than Johnny so we hope they are done for her .Johnny hasn't had one in several years but its why I fought with his school and eventually led to the online school hes in now.

Maybe is wishing all the flickr friends a great and sunny weekend!

© All rights reserved (edit)

via Instagram instagr.am/p/Cm1yUA7p03c/

It breaks my heart to have to tell all our Flickr friends of this sad news. Asha passed away Tuesday 5th October 2021. It was just another Tuesday morning and Asha was her usual happy self and full of beans. She did her usual early morning 2 mile walk into Millisle with my Brother before he went to work and he said she was very happy, walking along the wee wall she walked along every morning with her tongue out at the seafront. At home she was happy and doing all her usual things. Around 11.30am I noticed Asha lying down in the hall which I thought was unusual. She followed me into the living room and lay at my feet. I instantly knew there was something wrong. Not to go into all the minute details we took Asha to the vet and the vet said that that Asha was having wee seizures (she could see this from her eyes) and she would admit her and give her some diazepam and anti seizure drugs and do some blood tests to see what is going on and she would phone the next day.

When the phone rang at 8.15am the next day I knew it could only be the vet phoning this early and it wasn't going to be good news. The vet said that Asha didn't make it and passed away at 11.30pm. She said that Asha died of multiple organ failure, for some reason her immune system attacked all her major organs. The vet said that this just happens and nobody knows why it happens that the immune system suddenly attacks all the organs. She did say that maybe Asha had some undetected medical condition that could have brought this on like some kind of auto immune disease or blood disorder or even Leukemia even though she wasn't showing any symptoms. The vet said she could do a autopsy but even a autopsy might not show what caused her immune system to suddenly attack all her organs and it wouldn't change things. I didn't want a autopsy to be performed as what would be the point? It wouldn't bring Asha back!

I was working on my Halloween pictures of Asha and did a lovely shoot of her the day before she died of her with her wee Witch costume on. She was so happy doing this shoot and nothing to suggest there was something wrong with her. I decided to upload this wee montage picture of Asha from this shoot as this was the last pictures I took of Asha the day before she passed away to let our dear flickr friends know this sad news.

I can't believe I'm having to write this and it is breaking my heart to have to do so. Asha had just turned 10, border collies are one of the dogs that generally live a longer life usually between 14-17 years. I feel cheated out of a good 4 years I should have had with her. I was working on her Halloween pictures and on the day she passed a prop I had ordered on ebay had just arrived and I was expecting two further Halloween props to arrive. I was going to go full out this year on my Halloween pictures and was even thinking about the Christmas pictures with her. I had so many plans for all the future Halloween, Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day and just Asha being herself pictures etc. I feel so cheated out of all those photoshoots to come and all the pictures I could have created of her and shared with her lovely fans here on flickr. I had plans to do shoots of her with Bonnie the doll I had recently bought especially for Asha to create a different kind of shoot to make her pictures interesting and fun for her fans. I can't believe I will never be able to do these pictures now with Asha and Bonnie.

I don't know what will happen now with my photography and whether I will continue to take pictures or upload to flickr. I only got into photography when I noticed Asha posing for the camera when taking the usual family snaps that you do. Asha would literally stop what she was doing when she seen I was pointing the camera at her and looked straight at it and didn't move till I had taken the picture. I knew this was unique for a dog so it all just started from there my taking pictures of her. I had no interest in photography before that. Asha was my inspiration into the world of photography. I always had chronic insecurities regarding my photography and lots of times thought about stopping but my flickr friends gave me such wonderful comments on my pictures which gave me confidence and I continued on and would have continued on for at least another 4 years creating my Asha pictures for her fans but life is cruel and robbed us of these pictures to come.

The only comfort I can gain was that Asha was happy on the last day and she didn't suffer and died peacefully. I don't know why she died but if she had something wrong with her like Leukemia then maybe she might have had suffering ahead of her and I wouldn't have wanted that for her. She was happy to the very end and had a wonderful life. She was a very special dog even as a wee puppy when I took her to puppy classes they all said she was special and full of character. Asha excelled in everything she did, when I first took her to Agility classes she ran up all the ramps right away and I remember the dog trainer shouting out to everybody 'That dog should be a agility dog'. Asha even did doggie dancing with me and I took her to nose work classes and she excelled at sniffing things out like in the videos I uploaded of Asha counting, where she was able to pick out the numbered tennis balls. She excelled at Flyball too and even demonstrated this in a big dog event here in Northern Ireland. Thousands of people where there at this big event at a estate with thousands of dog's demonstrating what they can do. They did a piece about this event 'Wet Nose Day' the next week in the local paper and out of all the thousands of dog's at this event they chose one picture to go along with this piece and it was a picture of Asha demonstrating flyball (a close up of her). I couldn't believe that out of all the dogs there that they chose a picture they had taken of Asha demonstrating flyball with her group Downdog Dashers.

Circumstances changed at home and I couldn't take Asha to al these classes but I created my own agility course for her in the back garden and even had her flyball jumps and ball thrower for her. I kept up her training but I began to focus more on her pictures. For around two years Asha had her picture in our local weekly paper every week. I would submit a picture of her every week and they would print it in the 'reader's pics' section (usually a funny picture). The paper even did a special on her, a full two page spread. I eventually stopped this for various reasons and concentrated on creating my own pictures of her for flickr and this was what I was hoping to do for another 4 or 5 years. I felt my photography of her was only beginning. I even bought a umbrella light to enable me to take pictures of Asha indoors and I had Bonnie and another doll that I was going to include in her pictures. I had so many wonderful ideas all revolving around Asha, she was my inspiration and light and I'm so lost without her.

Asha was well known in our local town of Millisle as my Brother walked her to this town every morning for 10 years and walked along the seafront with her meeting all the other people with their dogs,they then went to the local Spar to get the morning papers. Asha was never on a lead and she would wait outside the door of this shop which later became a petrol station for my Brother to come out so all the customers were used to her sitting there waiting patiently for my Brother, they all petted her and said that they couldn't get their dog to do this. Even today I would get people from further afield than Millisle who would still recognize Asha from her pictures being in the local weekly paper. She was well known and loved by everybody who knew her. Asha was the only dog I knew who loved postmen. She loved bringing in the post. There is one particular postman who always rings the door when he is delivering so he can give Asha the post. Asha always ran out to him wagging her tail and licking his face when he rang and he loved that. He rapped the door yesterday with the post and my Sister answered and he said 'where's my wee pet' as Asha was always first at the door when he rapped. When my Sister told him through tears that Asha died two days ago he couldn't speak and had tears in his eyes.

Asha was more than a dog/pet to us she was a family member she understood everything we said to her. I didn't see her as a dog she was like a wee human and we all loved her. My Dad is disabled and confined to bed a lot of the time so when he wants something he would ring a bell. Asha was always the first to alert us that my Dad was ringing the bell. I remember one time she was out in the garden and she suddenly dashed into the house as fast as she could go as she heard my Dad's bell and wanted to alert us that he was ringing. She was very compassionate towards my Dad and would sleep beside his bed for part of the night. I got Asha as a wee pup of 7 weeks, I picked her from a litter of 6. As soon as I held her I knew she was the one. Circumstances drew me to her. I was inconsolable over the loss of my previous border collie Sasha. Asha helped me heal and get over my grief for it felt that I could feel Sasha's love through Asha. It felt like Sasha wasn't dead while Asha was alive as it felt like she lived through Asha. Maybe one day another wee pup will come to me and I will feel Asha's love through her and Asha will still be alive through this wee pup but at the moment I'm just empty inside and trying to come to terms with what has happened.

I could write so much more about Asha and how special she was but I'm not sure how much written words these comment boxes will hold, hopefully they will hold all that I have written. I know some will want to write a wee comment to send their condolences etc. I will read them but please forgive me if I don't reply. I just couldn't reply it is too raw for me and would be too painful. I'm crying inside now as I write this and I don't know how to ease the pain. I'm trying to block out all the memories as it is too painful to remember but I can't block out the feeling inside, the knotted stomach which is preventing me from eating and my soul knowing that something bad has happened even though I'm trying not to think about it. It is impossible to block it out completely, it just comes suddenly out of the blue and you have to re-live it all over again. Every time you wake up at night it is in your head and you relive it all over again what has happened. I can't believe I will never see my Beautiful Asha ever again or to hold her or to take a portrait of her beautiful smile. She was such a happy dog and lived life to the full.

Thank you from Asha and myself to all our lovely flickr friends for you support, likes and comments they meant so much to us and it was your support and love for Asha that kept me going with my Asha photography. I told Asha all the time that she had fans from all over the world who love her.

Lots of Love...Connie and Asha xxx (I have 4 Halloween picture created if it feels right I might upload them for Halloween)